#im a dumbdumb lol this is why you use notepad or google docs or smh not the tumblr app

[a-libra-writes]

I goofed this post alfksakfk (iykyk) so! Back to it. This is very fun to think of! also ignore my romeo + juliet indulgences

So, Asa's always been a fairly indulgent and lenient father. He hadn't minded your going off on dates, as long as you were home at a reasonable hour. Yes, you're an adult, but getting your own place was still out of the question unless you were staying at the dorms at college. He never had to worry about you, either. The boys were always the same; college boys, sons of the rich acquaintances in your family's circle, some newcomers at the country clubs. Always the same types.

He never thought his princess would even think of getting involved with gangsters and bootleggers. Asa kept that part of his life very separate from his family. Even if you knew, your mother hadn't a clue. She wasn't the one who'd go along with Asa to the Maribel Hotel for years. Initially you loved it because it meant going to a fun, exciting place with your father, and getting fawned over by the staff. Then it meant getting to see the Marigold Room.

"Listen," your father began gruffly. "I know what you girls get up to nowadays, but - if you're going to be dancing, best do it here. Stay with your friends and no funny business, understand?"

Always too permissive, not that you had a habit of raucous drinking and partying. Getting access to the Marigold Room made you something of a hot commodity at school now, and it led to something else: a cold, club-shaped metal pin being dropped in your palm.

That's how you met him. This too-skinny, too-smiley, too-chatty violinist who played at the Lackadaisy club. You nearly made him forget about the next performance.

You sought him out the next few visits, but it was just easier to meet outside the club. That was like going to the next step with Rocky. He wasn't just some guy you flirted with for a night, you actually wanted to take him on dates. You knew lots of places to take him, and there was just something so .. so cute about how earnest and endearing and affectionate he was. There was no stuck-up airs or obsession with this family or that or thinly veiled condescension. He wasn't dating you because that's what was expected. And while you had plenty of swanky cafes to take him, he had all sorts of places you'd never seen on the "other" side of town.

(There's so many stars once you drive a few miles outside of the city. You two fell asleep naming them and just talking... then woke up hours later in full panic. You snuck back into the dorms at the crack of dawn, covered in mosquito bites and beyond giddy.)

Uptown girl with downtrodden city boy cliche? Yes, absolutely. Neither of you cared.

News that Atlas May was shot frightened you. You'd heard it before reading it in the papers - well, overheard your father's shock as he talked to someone on the phone. Your first thought was some kind of police raid on the speakeasy, and if Rocky was hurt. Asa didn't want you going to the clubs after that, even the Marigold room. He seemed spooked. That was fine - you were seeing Rocky more in the daytime hours, anyway.

Right, your father still didn't know about him ... at least he was too distracted with work to notice your happy mood and the pep in your step lately. Your mother certainly did, and she was harder to avoid. She was so sure it was some college boy. "What's his name, sweetie, we can invite his family for dinner. Oh! Maybe have a lovely afternoon boating. Or brunch at the club, with the Robinsons? What do you think?" Honestly, you'd rather throw yourself from a window.

You'd heard about the troubles Rocky was having at the Lackadaisy, and a few times you asked why he just doesn't perform at the Marigold Room. Okay, you were half just saying that because you wanted to see him more, risky as it'd be. The other half is you were a little worried about some of the things he was getting up to. You noticed the scratches and dents in his car, and his own bruises and messy clothes.

(He'd never wear the clothes you bought him during these little bootlegging adventures, though. He didn't want to mess up the things you so lovingly picked out. They were also the only nice ones he had.)

On that topic, it's really fun to dress Rocky up. You aren't trying to be patronizing or act like he's a charity case, but - he just looks so nice cleaned up, and look, you can't take him to a nice cafe when he both looks and smells like he rolled in dirt (and ... syrup?). So, sure, you bought a shirt here and tie there and maybe a jacket and well obviously he needs pants to match that and it really means nothing that they just happen to fit so well, you definitely weren't measuring him when he was asleep or anything. Rocky isn't bothered by it at all, he loves the gifts and attention. And it kind of does something to him when you smooth out the creases and make sure the tie is straight and hook your arm around his and walk down the street, totally happy and proud of him, not embarrassed in the slightest.

You know he wouldn't fight it if you kept him some kind of dirty secret forever. It'd hurt him so much, of course, but Rocky would let you do it. You knew he'd just smile and pretend it was fine, like he does when you mention your parents keep trying to set you up with this hotshot lawyer's son. You see the flickers of disappointment and hurt when you joke about how your parents would kill you if they knew where you were right now, then he tries to cover it up.

Rocky deserves better, you know. And this really isn't a fun little fling anymore, is it? It's getting serious. He has so much love he's nearly bursting from it and you really, really don't want that to be ruined.

God, what are you going to tell your parents? "It's fine, he's only been a bootlegger for almost a year, before that he was a perfectly honest dirt-poor fiddler! We're disgustingly in love already and he's better than all those snob-nosed spineless trustfund bozos you keep setting me up with!" Yeah that'll go over Thanksgiving dinner just great.

As if fate's sense of humor couldn't get any better, it's Mordecai who finds out first. That shadowy, really unsettling (and actually kind of dorky ...?) gunman your father keeps around. Mordecai is good at remembering faces. When Asa introduced you two, he knew he remembered your's. He saw you once or twice at the Lackadaisy, though he hadn't known who you were at the time. You stood out because you were actually chatty with that ridiculous violinist, where most were exasperated with him.

Mordecai recalls that, and Asa idly complaining about his daughter always ditching the dates her mother set up for her, when he spots you and Rocky out and about. Broad daylight, not trying to hide, but certainly not where the more affluent friends and family of Asa's would go. You were even dressed down and weren't wearing any jewelry.

Yeah, he's not getting in the middle of this. Even as things heat up between the Marigold Gang and Lackadaisy.

Note, Rocky is very aware of who your family is. You never hid it back when you met him, and as far as he's concerned, you're the picture of innocence and can't be blamed for anything your father or the gang do. He's trying to be cute when he calls you 'princess' or 'my lady' and it is cute, but... you also feel kind of guilty. Reciting plays and poetry is fun and games until he brings up Romeo and Juliet again. It used to be romantic, but now it just claws at something in you. "Rocky, come on, you remember how that ends, right?"

(Oh, and there's a matter of keeping this all hush-hush from the Lackadaisy crew, who already know Rocky has a sweetheart because he can't shut up about you, but they don't know who you are exactly. It's best Mitzi or Viktor doesn't catch sight of you, because they'll spot the family resemblance right away..)

And then there's your father finding out. It had to happen eventually, especially with Lackadaisy getting in on the Marigold's suppliers. He makes it clear to Mordecai that if some accident were to happen to "that boy", then you're young, and you'd get over it. This is just some late teenage rebellion, he tells himself. A fling you'll forget all about once the excitement wears off and your school work picks up. Mordecai isn't so sure about that.

He actually tried to warn you about it, but the thing is ... Mordecai is Mordecai. He's staring intently and of course he cornered you as you were leaving the hotel at night and he's deadpan as he says, "I'd begin reconsidering your choice of paramours; there isn't any way that this will end well for him."

"Mordecai Heller, are you threatening me?"

"What? No?" He's startled by the tone of your voice. Did you just pull a knife on him? From your purse? "Put that down - I'm giving you practical advice."

"Oh. .... Maybe next time, don't do it in a creepy alley?"

It's like ice water drops on you when your father brings it up. He just lets out a heavy sigh, the most perfect cliche noise that says he's not mad, just disappointed. Right away you know he thinks this little dalliance has only been around for a few months, if that. "Really, pumpkin? What about that lawyer's son we told you about, he's not half bad looking. Or that rowing team captain, you remember him? He really took a shine to you. Look, I know a guy with a cousin whose son is--"

You get the whole lecture: You're too good of a girl to run around with unwashed gangsters and besides, what about your studies? Think about what your mother would say. Do you really want her finding out? Or the country club, or god forbid, her little society ladies? He'd be sleeping on the couch and you'd be in a nunnery. Some scrawny hoodlum isn't worth all that trouble, is he?

Asa doesn't raise his voice and actually get angry until you defend Rocky, until you actually say his name. He actually slams his fist on the desk, making the candy jars and his name plaque rattle. The conversation is done, so you leave. And of course you go straight to Rocky and don't come home on Sunday for the usual family brunch, or the next one. Your father makes excuses for you. It's little consolation, because you know exactly what the gangsters he employs are capable of. And you don't think for a minute they'll spare Rocky. Why couldn't he have just taken the job at the Marigold Room ...

Onto pleasanter things. One of the greatest nights in your life (so far) was the massive city charity gala that the Maribel Hotel hosted every year. It stopped being fun for you years ago, but this time you had a date. You told Rocky to leave it all to you. Yes, your dad was attending, but he was always off schmoozing with his associates. Besides - this year's theme was a masquerade, no gangsters would be there, it's crowded, and you had Rocky dressed to the nines. No one would notice! It'd be great. This was a little secret you'd been hiding for a month, you just knew he'd love all the music and the ridiculous fancy foods and you just wanted to share something magical with someone you loved. Because you were very, very sure you loved him.

And Rocky looked so handsome you just couldn't keep away from him, and you two danced and laughed at the prissy food and absurd people like you'd imagined. Anyway, it was cut short when you were nearly spotted by Mordecai - who looked wonderfully out of place without a mask and dressed like a funeral director, but you'd laugh about it later. You grabbed Rocky's hand and just ran, and bolting up the backrooms and stairwells of the hotel you knew so well.

Maybe you should have been deflated. A silly, childish desire for a fairytale evening came crashing down thanks to reality, even if you knew Mordecai wouldn't shoot Rocky dead. But it was hard to feel too disappointed when you both were still giddy and laughing, gleefully stealing 'hidden' champagne from the general manager's office and climbing your way up the rickety fire escape - even with your heels and his suit you spent way too much money on - and spending the rest of the evening making out and giggling and watching the city from high above.