#im a coward! scared of rejection scared of opening up and ppl not liking the real me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

h3ck · 1 year ago

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I really wish I could get over the whole "everyone hates me unless explicitly shown otherwise" thing. I get ignored or talked over or left out one time and my brain just goes "oh that's because everyone likes other people more than you" and it's like... MAYBE! But like that's my fault too? I'm the one who doesn't let people in or try hard enough, of course people like me less, of course they interact with other people more when I'm too shy or anxious to speak, or when I say stupid things or when I'm awkward. That's normal, that's expected, I can't always be everyone's favorite, I can't always be worth attention. And if I never am, that's my doing, too. I can't blame other people for not liking me when I'm making myself unlikeable, and I can't assume just because everyone isn't up my ass that they hate me. Of course I'm an outsider, I barely participate and I suck lmao I need to get over myself...

#i always want to addend like ' but it only sucks because nobody likes me most '#like bitch YOU don't even like yourself how can you blame them?#i'm exhausting i barely ever speak and if i do it's offputting or rude or weird or stupid #no shit ppl who actually hang with eachother like eachother more #trying to be likeable doesnt make people like you #it makes you a tryhard and lame and i know and i get it! so why do i do it!#why am i like this! why do i just cry and whine instead of like #being cooler or sharing more or literally anything #im a coward! scared of rejection scared of opening up and ppl not liking the real me #whining about the past and never moving forward #blaming people that never think about me as if i even mattered to them #what a joke i'm pathetic lol #easily forgettable easily moved past and it's all my fault too #and it'll always be! and i'll never change.. not in any way that matters #what a waste...

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