#im 40+ minutes away from trey depending on traffic.
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agh
#blu babbles#dude hes so odd.#maybe im just used to fuckboys but. 'i feel guilty bc i want to fuck you again' WHAT does that mean??#part of me does worry im in another 'hes cheating on someone w me' scenario.#but when does he have the time lmao. the amount of video games he plays plus his webcomic#PLUS school plus his job#and idk. he seemed genuine when i told him about that happening to me.#and he said 'uhh yea so i definitely wont do that to you. holy shit'#plus wouldnt it be weird if i was a sidepiece for him to suggest we stay friends WITHOUT benefits??#esp since i live in another town. if he had a girl him driving down to see me would already be suspiscious#and to do so without even getting to fuck or even a bj?? makes no sense.#but i could be wrong. ive been wrong before. twice now.#itd also be weird of him to wait so long to even kiss me. i had to ask HIM if he was cool with a kiss.#the 2 guys who used me as a sidepiece both kinda just cut to the chase lmao. plus i was convenient.#i worked less than a mile away from brian. and i lived 15 mins from tyrell.#im 40+ minutes away from trey depending on traffic.#and he drove down to me for the first TWO dates. and almost drove back up from both without even a kiss on the cheek.#ig im just nervous bc its happened before. and hes so stupidly attractive.#like he was a model for a bit. it makes sense that hed be single bc of how introverted he is#but at the same time....it does NOT.#im also nervous bc its always the hot ones that have something to hide#tyrell and brian were easily two of the hottest guys ive ever been with. like conventionally attractive.#im talking henry cavill and michael b jordan. thats who they look like. no cap.#and tyrell actually was into me romantically. brian....tolerated my weirdness lmao.#i didnt know the difference at 18. but tyrell genuinely liked me. it doesnt mean he wasnt a shitbag cheater tho.#so with trey...idk. his guilt is what really scares me i think.#like WHY are you so guilty??#he also stresses out over what kind of coffee to get when we go to starbucks so it could be just Chidi Syndrome.#i have to avoid asking him to make ANY decision bc he overthinks everything (which i like bc i like helping ppl thru that)#but im not secure enough ig to know im not going to get my heart broken again
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