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#im 18 now but i still rely on her for transportation bc i cant afford public transit and its currently too cold to walk
zombiesama · 4 years
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Hm
#rice rambles#you know i havent spoken to a doctor abt literally any of my health problems excluding mental health and allergies like. ever.#its been drilled into my head by multiple people that doctors do not care. they will not help you. theyll tell you its in your head.#so i just. havent bothered to bring it up#and ive gone multi year spans without seeing a doctor at all bc insurance and shit#and i havent even let on to my mom how bad some of this is#bc like. when i have mentioned things she's just kinda nodded and said 'what do you want me to do about that?'#like? take me in? set up an appointment or something?#im 18 now but i still rely on her for transportation bc i cant afford public transit and its currently too cold to walk#so i have to wait until spring at least until i do anything about my health#but i have a really good doctor now. and i feel like he'd be willing to actually help me. like he was willing to help all of us with fibro#so hes gotta be willing to at least help get me diagnosed with SOMETHING#my mom also writes off every stomach ache as my allergies even though we both know i havent eaten anything bad in a long time#so i think she thinks everytime i say im sick or im not feeling well that it must be something in my diet or im lying#bc theres no other reason for me to constantly be sick#and she didnt care about my constant exhaustion until recently when its gotten so bad i sleep most the day#and she wants me to get employed but how can i work if im asleep or stuck on the toilet for hours?#or the fact i get tired from just walking up the stairs#or how my legs ache after walking just a few blocks#she keeps saying she will start getting us taken care of#but shes been saying that since i was like. 15 and started complaining more about my symptoms#but im determined to get a diagnosis somehow#ill figure it out#ill ebeg for money for public transit if i really have to#but for now im going to start tracking my symptoms as soon as im feeling the normal amount of sick again
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