#ily dropout. everything there means so much to me

[crunchycrystals]

bad news had a brief minor mental breakdown but GOOD NEWS i have secured another dropout renewal

[ofjunkrcts]

OKAY HI u guys have no idea how pumped i am for this!!!!!! i almost NEVER pick up second characters so u know that means i gotta whole lot of love in my heart for this girl :’) let’s jump right in i’m so excited!!!!!!!!!

part one: the backstory!!!!

what the fuck is up im coming at u HOT with another Hot Fucking Mess say hello to my mfn BABYGIRL frankie rivera

yes frankie is a nickname no u probably don’t know what her full name is bc undersharing is the name of the game baby

born on the wrong side of the tracks…… literally! technically the trailer park she grew up in wasn’t Actually an ashmont mailing address bc heaven forbid 100% of ashmont residents aren’t stupid rich! but thanks to the wonder that is school of choice, frankie still went to ashmont high school w the gang way back when!

(sex work tw) she was raised by her single mother who was a community college dropout when a random ass hookup ended up in her being pregnant! her mom has worked two jobs all of frankie’s life to afford the basics, being a waitress at a bar by day and also a stripper by night to make that money and provide for her daughter! and even though they barely BARELY ever had enough to make ends meet, frankie’s momma is her whole HERO so watch ur mouth

because she didn’t really have much growing up and because her mom’s demanding work schedule left her with very little supervision, she resorted to petty theft at a pretty young age. sometimes it was to get things that she or her mom needed, like medicine from the gas station down the street. sometimes it was to get things that she wanted, like if she wanted fresh fruit for breakfast. and, eventually, she ended up stealing because it was what everyone expected from someone “like her”

by the time that high school came around, frankie’s tendency for theft had surpassed means of survival and had, instead, had turned into something that she couldn’t stop herself from doing. she stole clothes, makeup, accessories, art supplies, anything and everything that the world of rich kids around her made her believe that she needed but couldn’t afford on her own and she quickly found that she couldn’t stop herself

the idea that she was constantly being judged by people who looked down on her, constantly believing that there were a set of expectations she would always be held to, constantly being seen as nothing and constantly having to prove that she wasn’t worthless — all became recurring themes in her life

the first person frankie met who changed her life was a man named mel carson, the owner of carson’s automotive shop. when she was fifteen, frankie got caught attempting to shoplift from the pharmacy of the convenience store and, really, she’d just been lucky that mel had been there and convinced the owner of the store to let her go with a warning, paying for what she’d been trying to steal. and then he’d really saved her life by offering her a job at the shop

the second person frankie met who changed her life was her art teacher, junior year. coincidentally, it was another instance where she thought that she was going to end up in trouble with the law. she’d developed a love for art at a young age, but it had always seemed untouchable until the day that she began to express herself through graffiti. it was her art teacher who found her spray painting one of the back walls of the school and, instead, of reporting her to the school or to the ashmont pd for vandalism, he looked at her and saw the talent and the passion with which her work was carefully completed. he convinced her to start taking classes, gave her a place and supplies to work in his classroom, fostered her interests and encouraged her to stick with it

she did and, by some miracle, she ended up at st e’s on a scholarship for her art after spending a year at community college, which she never thought would have happened to someone like her. opening her college acceptance letter, with her mom looking on and beaming with pride, was the first time in her life that frankie truly felt like she might be able to amount to something

now she’s out here at st e’s chilling, working at the art gallery, also running a “technically illegal because you don’t have any certification” underground auto shop in the junkyard just chilling !!!!!!! 

PART 2: PERSONALITY

as far as her personality goes, frankie can probably best be described as being single minded to the point of recklessness. she has been held accountable for very few things in her life, never really had a lot of responsibilities, was never held to a very high standard, often got away with things she shouldn’t have without seeing repercussions, etc. because of that she’s always been a bit flighty and had a difficult time seeing the full extent of the consequences of her actions 

this probably..... best displays itself in her tendency to be...... overly flirtatious with uhhh everyone all the time she is so TERRIBLE about it she is so so flirty n so so ........ Like That. i dont mean 2 be that person but like........ female danny/female noah. thats her ladies!! ready n willing to sleep w anyone at almost any moment in time 

but shes super gay so jot that down xoxo

ANYWAY. it isnt that she’s not empathetic bc she IS. she gets Way Too Attached to people and then backs out before she can fully commit bc..................

she’s also a BIG TIME commitment-phobe, terrified of letting people in and seeing the parts of her that she keeps tucked away under a cool, icy, collected exterior which mostly stems from the fact that she has a lot of repressed contempt towards people who have always viewed her as lesser because of her status, social standing, etc

i might be biased but??? i love her and think she’s a good person still??? like deep down she’s such a sweetheart she really is, she likes to just hang out in the junkyard and and go through trash that people threw away and pick out pieces of things that can be built into something new and beautiful

she’s super sentimental deep down but will throw punches if anyone tries to say that, she doesn’t give a SHIT if she’s only like 5 ft tall she will fight

she’s a baby and strongly identifies in the “junk” of the junkyard n wants someone to put effort into her to make her beautiful the way that she does to everything else and that’s on that 

OKAY. PLOTS

basically i have some in my brain already but im gonna do the tldr version of them rn so that i can POST THIS. 

first of all, GIVE HER SPICY CONNECTIONS PLS kiki is the loml n my girl but shes 2 sad 2 b spicy ever in her life so LET ME HAVE A SPICY GIRL PLS

FRIENDS!!!!! she would live and die for her friends SO VERY MUCH give her some sweet wholesome plots esp someone who was perhaps her friend back in the day 

“EXES” and i put it in quotations bc its... highly unlikely that frankie was ever 1000000% committed and in a serious relationship (OR maybe she was maybe ur character was the 1 exception that broke her heart) BUT THERE R SO MANY POSSIBILITIES FOR THIS TO GO MESSY

also she needs ROOMMATES. WHO WANTS A ROOMMATE!!!!!!!!!!!

um????? hateship?????????? didnt get along??????????// still dont get along??????????? 

IDK. MY BRAIN IS SO SCATTERED BC I AM SO EXCITED N FEELING CRAZY BUT!!!!!!!!!!! ILY

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Forty

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

January 1st, 2016

Patton didn’t understand what was going on. His mom was clutching her head frequently and muttering about everything being too bright, too loud, too much of anything. He didn’t want to bug her, but he and Virgil were hungry, and something needed to be done.

Gently, he walked across the floor as softly as he could and tugged on Mom’s sleeve. She cracked an eye open but immediately winced. “What’s wrong, Patton?”

“Virgil and I are hungry,” he said. “Can we have lunch?”

“Sure, go ahead and make yourself lunch,” she waved off, closing her eyes again.

“No, I mea—” Patton cut himself off. Clearly, his mom wasn’t up for making them lunch. Even if he didn’t know how to make stuff other than possibly sandwiches, it would have to do. Why was what was supposed to be a happy time of the year leaving him miserable?

December 25th, 2019

Patton didn’t know what to do. Ami was sitting alone, in the master bedroom, head in his hands. He didn’t think that Ami was hungover, or drunk, because he hadn’t seen Ami touch a drop of alcohol. He’d never seen alcohol in the house. But he didn’t know why Ami would be alone in his bedroom with no one there to help him if something big weren’t going on.

At the same time, he didn’t want to bug Ami if some time alone was all that was needed. After all, if Ami had a migraine, or just a headache in general, Patton wouldn’t want to make it worse. So he decided that he was going to go to the second best source of Ami-info, Dad. He went downstairs, going past Dee who was fiddling with Tinker Toys in the den, past Virgil, who was reading the first Harry Potter book to see if he’d like the series, and past Roman and Logan in the basement who were playing together on some video game, using the new laptop and the old one to do co-op mode.

He went to the office, and knocked on the door before opening it and finding Dad on the other side. “Dad,” Patton asked softly. “Is something wrong with Ami?”

Dad turned from where he had been working at the desk, running a hand down his face. “There’s not something wrong with him, no. He’s just a little upset today.”

“Why?” Patton asked.

Dad sighed. “I’m not comfortable telling you without his permission.”

“But...he’s okay? He’s not hurt or sick or hungover?” Patton asked.

“He’s okay,” Dad said. “Or as okay as he ever is on Christmas.”

Patton fiddled with his glasses, taking them off before putting them back on and pushing them up his nose. “Would it be okay for me to talk to him?” he asked.

Dad bit his lip. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt, but leave him alone if he asks to be left alone, all right?”

Patton nodded. He dashed away, up the basement steps and up the second flight of stairs that took him to the top of the house. He walked to the master bedroom, knocking on the door lightly. Ami looked up from whatever he had been looking at on his phone, and sniffled. “Patton,” he said softly. “Everything okay?”

“I don’t think so,” Patton said, walking over to Ami and looking up at him. “You’re upset, and that means not everything’s okay.”

Ami shook his head and put on an unconvincing smile. “Don’t worry about me, Pat. I’ll be okay.”

“Why are you sad?” Patton asked.

Ami looked away. “I don’t want to use you as my therapist,” he said.

“You don’t have to. I just wanna know why you’re sad. You don’t even have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Patton said.

Ami sighed and fiddled with his phone, pulling up a photo. He held the phone up to Patton’s face. “You see those two older people behind the young guy in the picture?”

Patton nodded. The young guy kinda looked like Ami, but he had no idea who the older people were.

“Those two are my parents,” Ami said, shaking his head. “They haven’t been in contact with me much ever since I dropped out of college and moved in with Emile. I guess I was the black sheep of the family. My older sister and brother were their golden children, and I’m the college dropout who they see as a glorified barista. What little they’ve told me since we stopped talking is mostly that they want me to have ‘a better life’ than the one I have right now.” He laughed, but it was bitter. “And despite how they treated me and my siblings growing up, ignoring us, or at least ignoring me to the point of neglect, I regret not keeping in contact with them sometimes.”

“And this is one of those times?” Patton asked.

Ami nodded. “I want you kids to meet your other grandparents, even if they aren’t grandparents by blood. But I know that the second they’d come over, if I told them where we lived, they’d nitpick everything. They’d use the wrong pronouns for Logan. They’d throw in snide remarks about me being gay and how I went against every plan they had for me.” He sighed. “They’re...really unhealthy. Toxic, almost. And Emile is the one who holds me back from contacting them. But there’s a small part of me, that always hopes...despite what they did, that they could turn around...be better...be proud of the fact that Emile and I have you guys, and what you’ve done every day.”

Patton didn’t know what to say to that. “That’s hard,” Patton said. “It’s kinda like how I sometimes miss Mom, even if she listened to Charles too much and blamed me and Virgil for stuff.”

Ami laughed, choking back tears. “Sorry for unloading all that on you, Patton. I shouldn’t have.”

“I asked you to tell me why you’re sad. You did. It’s okay,” Patton said. He climbed on the bed and hugged Ami tight. “If you wanted to go into detail about that, I think Dad would be better, but you just told me why you were sad.”

Ami closed his eyes and hugged Patton back. “Thanks, Pat. You don’t have to keep this a secret from your brothers, okay? If they ask, you’re allowed to say I’m having problems with my parents.”

Patton nodded. “You know, I’m pretty sure even if your biological parents aren’t proud of you, Grandma and Granddad are. And Dad is. And I know that Dee looks up to you like you’re a superhero. And I trust you with my deep, dark secrets, even if it’s just that I like wearing skirts in the summer. Virgil and Roman and Logan all love you, too. The family you were born in may not have been great, but the family you found now loves you almost too much to understand. Or at least, too much for me to understand. I don’t know about you.”

Ami laughed, even as he cried. “I know. I know you guys love me. Sometimes, it just hurts. And when it does, I let myself be sad for a bit, and then I come back to you guys and know that you all love me.”

“Are you ready to come back now?” Patton asked.

“Not yet, Pat,” Ami said. “Though your hugs do help. I just need a little more time to think. Maybe I’ll call my brother, or text my sister. They’re not always the most accepting but I’m always going to be their baby brother, and they don’t let me being gay stop them from loving me.”

“Do you think that we could meet them sometime?” Patton asked. “Our aunt and uncle?”

“I don’t know, honestly,” Ami said. “It depends on how they treat me, and react when I tell them that I have kids now. Especially if I tell them that Logan is transitioning.”

Patton nodded. Logan mostly passed, but he still sometimes couldn’t wear his binder, and that meant some jerks would misgender him. So sometimes it was necessary to say he was transitioning. And if Ami’s siblings used she and her when they heard about Logan, well, Patton doubted they would be invited over, ever. “Do you want to call them now?” Patton asked.

Ami considered the question, eventually nodding. “Yeah, I’ll give my brother Toby a call. Do you mind giving me some privacy?”

“Not at all,” Patton said, hugging Ami one last time. “I hope they make you feel better.”

Ami smiled. “Thanks, Pat. Now, I think you and Dee have some Legos and Tinker Toys to mess around with. Go on and have fun.”

Patton nodded and left the room, mostly closing the door, and letting Ami have his phone call in private. When Patton returned downstairs, Dee was working hard on building...what resembled a skyscraper. Dee looked up and signed, “Is Ami okay?”

“He’s a little sad, but he’s working on feeling better,” Patton told him.

“What is he sad about?” Virgil asked, looking over at Patton. “It’s Christmas. It’s hard to be sad around Christmas.”

Patton shrugged. “He’s sad that he can’t introduce us to his parents. Because his parents weren’t good people, and he doesn’t want us to get hurt.”

“Oh,” Virgil said softly. Dee looked stricken as well. “Do you think we should make him a card or something? Maybe that could make him feel better?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Patton agreed.

Dee jumped to his feet, signing, “I’ll grab the paper and markers!”

Virgil and Patton looked at each other and shrugged. “What do you think we should say on the card?” Virgil asked.

“Why are you asking me?” Patton asked.

“Because you’re the one who talked to him. You know why he’s sad better than we do.”

Patton thought about it, and shrugged. “Maybe we could just put...‘You’re fam...ILY’? because Logan taught me that ILY is short for I Love You, and that would be a fun pun to make,” Patton said with a shrug.

Virgil thought about it, and nodded. “Sounds good. A little cheesy, maybe, but Ami likes that kind of stuff anyway. It’s good.”

Patton grinned and Dee came back in the room with paper and markers, as promised. “What are we writing?” he asked.

“You’re fam...ILY,” Virgil said. “Patton came up with it. It's a pun, and it shows that we love Ami lots.”

Dee nodded and put everything down on the table, looking at each of the twins in turn. “Who has the neatest handwriting?” he asked.

Patton and Virgil looked at each other. “I think...I do?” Patton asked. “But both of us have really bad cases of chicken scratch.”

Dee thought for a moment, before shrugging. “We could always check by writing it small on another piece of paper before we write the big one?” he offered.

“That could work,” Virgil said. “Dibs on the purple marker.”

They each wrote down the words to the card and they were all surprised to figure out that Dee had the neatest handwriting out of all of them. So Dee took a piece of paper that Virgil had carefully folded in two, and wrote, “You’re fam...” on the front of the card, and then on the inside put, “ILY!” on the left side of the paper.

Adding bits of this and lots of that and putting the other thing all over the paper, they created a drawing of the whole family for Ami.

About halfway through an argument over who should sign the card where, Roman, Logan, and Dad all came into the room. “Um...boys? Care to enlighten us on why you’ve been so quiet? I would have expected at least one exclamation by this point if you’ve been working together,” Dad said.

“We’re making a card for Ami,” Virgil said. “Because he was feeling bad. We’re just debating where to sign it.”

“Oh, I want to sign it too,” Logan said.

“Me three,” Roman said.

“Would I be allowed to, as well?” Dad asked.

“Yeah!” Patton exclaimed. “The whole point of this card is to show Ami that we all care about him!”

They all signed the card, right before Ami came down the stairs. It was clear that he had been crying, and if his red-rimmed eyes weren’t enough proof, he was still sniffling a little. “Sorry, guys, I ran out of tissues, I’ll go back to my room in a sec so you don’t have to deal with me...”

“Wait! Before you do, we have something for you!” Patton exclaimed.

Dee approached a very confused Ami with the card behind his back. He presented it to Ami, who frowned as he took it from Dee’s hands. He read what was on the front of the card...and then he opened it, and promptly began crying again.

“Oh, no. Rem, you okay?” Dad asked.

“Th-this is...this is...the nicest thing that...th-that anyone has ever done for me...” he held the card close to his chest. “I will cherish this forever. Thank you.”

“Of course!” Patton chirped. “After all, you’re fam!”

“And we definitely love you,” Virgil added.