#illyana brings them both to limbo and they use each other to forget

[slightlycomicobsessed]

the temptation to make a dani/illyana smut fic where it's literally just them pining over kitty and rahne, respectively. dani accidentally using her mirage powers over the both of them to project their greatest desires.....

[bigskydreaming]

builtfjordtuff replied to your post:

Teen Wolf no longer exists, Scott McCall is now a...

But does he date Berto?

Look, its simple. Scott likes Berto who likes Scott but who also likes Sam, but that’s okay because Scott likes Sam too. Who doesn’t like Sam? Well Dani at first, but we all know that’s a lie, Dani actually likes Sam a lot except for when she likes Xi’an. Who likes Kitty which is a bummer because Kitty’s a snob about being one of the X-Men instead of a New Mutant, and also is a bummer because Illyana likes Xi’an, but she also likes Kitty too, so like, she gets it. They commiserate over cups of hot chocolate while huddled on the couch griping about also, how hot is Amara, its totally not fair. 

Amara meanwhile also likes Berto and they date when he’s not dating Scott which is usually when Scott is dating Doug, who is just surprised he’s not doomed to just crush hopelessly on all of his classmates from afar, because why is the X-gene synonymous with So Hot My Eyes Bleed, science side of tumblr, please explain, he frantically types out before erasing it and instead typing Scratch that, mlm side of tumblr, how do I date boys, I did not study for this exam, halp.

But then you’ve got the Hellions to consider, because Manuel likes Amara but Manuel is a creep so Dani gives him nightmares that make him wet the bed for a month. Which makes Jimmy like Dani because Jimmy likes anyone who doesn’t like Manuel, and Dani likes Jimmy because have you seen Jimmy, duh. And Sam is conflicted because he still likes Dani but he also likes Jimmy and he complains to Berto, who was kinda busy spending time with ‘Mara. Rude, Sam.

 And then Scott pops his head up from the other side of the bed next to Amara and says don’t be dumb Sam, if you like them both, just tell them you like them both. And Sam hems and haws, and he’s like, but what if Jimmy doesn’t like me back? And Berto, Scott and Amara all give him the look something that dumb deserves.

“Wait, why aren’t you with Doug?” Sam asks Scott, who shrugs. 

“I think Doug dumped me for that alien dude we rescued from that other planet, Warlock? They’ve been doing this whole mind meld thing and talking at each other in computer and its uh....not really my thing. I mean, I like Warlock, but I don’t LIKE him, so....they can do their thing without me, its cool. Way I figure it, at least Doug had to go out of this world to find a better boyfriend than me, so I’m good with that,” he grins.

Sam, Berto and Amara all nod, because that is a very Scott take on things. He’ll be fine. Plus, he’s in bed with Berto and Amara, so there’s that.

Course, then the X-Terminators join the New Mutants and Rusty and Skids are clearly soulmates so they are Dismissed, how boring, the others all think. But Tabby takes one look at Sam and decides WANT, and Dani takes one look at Tabby looking at Sam and goes DO NOT WANT, and lots of explosions and make-you-crap-your-pants illusions become commonplace over the next few weeks while Sam and Jimmy sit there and just roll their eyes. 

And Doug’s like, why aren’t you guys doing something, I mean, you shouldn’t be okay with them fighting over you. And Jimmy gives Doug an “are you for real” look, and shakes his head. “They’re not fighting over us, they’re flirting,” he gripes. 

“We’re pretty sure they just haven’t figured that part out yet,” Sam sighs.

“And until they do, and figure out what they want to do next, we’re kinda stuck in Limbo,” Jimmy complains. Illyana pokes her head over the couch just long enough to realize nobody’s talking about the actual Limbo with demons and stuff, hence she doesn’t care, and she and Xi’an go back to trying to figure out how to figure out exactly how old Scott and Jean’s time-travelled from the future daughter Rachel is. But without, like, actually asking her, because then she’d know they were asking so they’d know if it was weird to date her, and god, how embarrassing.

“Well why don’t you guys just...do your own thing?” Doug asks Jimmy, still confused. See, this is why dating a machine lifeform from another planet isn’t the weirdest thing he could be doing with his lovelife. At least Warlock makes sense. Most of the time.

“Without Dani? That’d be like cheating.” Sam looks offended by the very thought. Jimmy nods in total agreement. 

“But....she’s flirting with Tabby, you just said. Isn’t that cheating?” Doug helplessly tries to compute. 

“Of course not, because she doesn’t KNOW she’s flirting,” Jimmy just sounds totally exasperated now. Error, error 404, Doug thinks. He tries to backspace but honestly, he has no idea where the fuck he took a wrong turn.

Sam just shakes his head pityingly.

The others are no help. Berto and Amara are cuddled up on the floor leaning against the couch and Scott’s laying slash draped slash sprawled across their laps. That shouldn’t be comfortable but he’s practically purring, which, bizarre, because he’s a werewolf, not a werecat. Then Julio saunters over, and even Doug knows that saunter is the only word for walking that deliberately. Hips don’t normally move that way, he’s pretty sure.

“So, you guys don’t really have a problem with complicated here, huh,” he grins, plopping himself into a chair next to them. 

“What was your first clue,” Berto deadpans. Amara eyes Julio appraisingly. Scott just burrows deeper into their laps and sighs contentedly. 

“Well...” Julio begins. Just then a few X-Men appear in the doorway with a bulky white-haired giant who’s half metal and all scowl. Julio’s attention is on the tall kid next to him who looks like the love child of a ballet dancer and an American Ninja Warrior, tackiness included. But like, he has swords. And a ponytail. Julio is in LOVE.

“Never mind,” he says, getting up and casually migrating closer to the newcomers. Berto’s eyes narrow.

“Is that what being dumped is like?” He demands. Amara just shrugs. It’s not like she knows either. Scott still hasn’t opened his eyes.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Cable, and his young protegee Shatterstar, “ Storm says. “Shatterstar is a gladiator from a war torn parallel universe. Cable is Scott and Madelyne’s infant son who was sent to the future, as I’m sure you all remember.”

Several mouths open at that. Bobby jumps in.

“Before jokes are made and lives are lost, you should all know that he has lots of guns, none of his father’s issues with using them, and zero sense of humor. I checked.”

Several mouths close. Illyana still looks tempted. Storm eyes her warily.

“Anyway, Cable will be taking over your instruction from now on. I trust you will show him the same respect and courtesy you would show any of us,” Storm continues.

“So basically, none at all,” Wolverine grouches. Jimmy, Illyana, Tabby, Berto and Amara all smirk at him. 

“So you’re from another dimension? That sounds hella cool,” Julio says, smiling up at Shatterstar, who is in fact a giant.

“The sad thing is, that really is his idea of smooth,” Tabby says loudly from across the room. Julio’s eyes narrow and said room begins to vibrate ominously.

“Oh for Chrissakes,” Wolverine mutters and stalks out.

Because poking sleeping bears is her favorite hobby, not that Julio could ever in his wildest dreams qualify as a bear, he’s an otter at best, Tabby directs the full wattage of her patented Here Comes Trouble grin at the bemused Shatterstar.

“You got any drugs, Shatty? Cuz Julio’s got the sex and the rock’n’roll covered.”

“Shut up Tabitha, GOD,” Julio yells, red-faced and stamping his foot. The room starts to shake and Tabby and Dani both giggle, then glare at each other.

“Ignore her, she’s the worst,” Julio says a little desperately. Shatterstar just tilts his head and smiles, still patiently bemused.

“I have no idea what is happening right now.”

Scott fucking cackles.

“Good, that’s fine,” Julio says, still a little manic. “Tell you what, want me to show you around the mansion and I can show you what’s what?”

“Reconnaissance,” Shatterstar nods approvingly. “An excellent suggestion.”

He follows Julio out the door, after the other boy flips of Tabitha one more time. She blows him a kiss. Berto eyes them both as they leave, frowning.

“Who even says stuff like reconnaissance? What a nerd. I can’t believe we got dumped for him.”

“Shut up, Berto,” Scott and Amara both sigh.

Two weeks later, Berto and Amara get sucked through a time portal into the future. Scott consults with various X-Men who have experience with such matters and observes the requisite period of not-mourning-because-they’re-not-actually-dead-but-we-cant-exactly-be-expected-to-wait-forever-seriously-we-only-dated-like-two-months-tops. He starts spending time with Justice from the New Warriors. Dani declares him a traitor and bars him from the weekly ‘All The Adults Are Dumb And This Is How The Mutant Revolution Should Really Go Down’ strategy meetings until Scott informs her of his secret master plan to seduce Justice and lure him to join the New Mutants where he belongs. Mollified, Dani rescinds her order of Acts of Petty Vengeance For This Lust-Born Betrayal and eyes him. “You do goofy so well I forget you’re good at devious. Change of plans. When the revolution comes, we should totally make you a spy.”

Scott beams at her.

“How come Scott gets to be a spy?” Illyana demands, popping out of nowhere. “I want to be a spy. I’m a teleporter. Teleporters make the best spies.”

“Not when they bring demons with them everywhere they go,” Dani arches a brow. Illyana narrows hers.

“What, I can’t have friends now?”

Scott hastily departs.

A month later, Berto and Amara return from the future, ten years older and maybe married? They’re not sure. The time travel experts among the X-Men can’t make a consensus on whether cross-time marriage vows are considered binding until Rachel comes back from the dead. Again.

“Eww, Berto got hotter somehow. That’s so obnoxious.” Tabby wrinkles her nose. Xi’an and Illyana’s glances at Amara (furtive in Xi’an’s case, blatant in Illyana’s) seem to convey a similar sentiment. Twenty eight year old Berto preens and a few shoulders relax. At least they know its not a shapeshifter now.

“Don’t be too smug,” Jimmy tells him. “Scott dumped you while you were gone.”

Berto’s smirk transforms into a scowl. Illyana throws a pillow at Jimmy.

“Hey! I wanted to be the one to tell him that.”

Scott ignores them both. “Come on, you can’t actually be mad. Look at you. You can rent a car by yourself now, it would never work like this. It’s too weird even for us.”

“He’s legal drinking age now and like a zillion other things, but your mind goes to ‘can rent a car’,” Tabby shakes her head in utter bewilderment. “Who hurt you?”

“It’s okay, Scott, neither of us is even a little surprised. We were only a thing for barely two months, we wouldn’t have expected you to wait,” Amara smiles reassuringly. 

“Agree to disagree,” Berto grouses. Scott gives him a Look and he rolls his eyes and subsides. “Fine. Is our clearly inferior replacement hot at least?”

“He has a cape,” Tabby says helpfully.

“It looks dumb,” Julio says, eyes focused on his guitar as he experiments with a chord position. Scott glares.

“Your face looks dumb.” Not his best retort, but he was a little sensitive about the topic of Vance’s cape because honestly, it did look dumb and he was a little worried Vance was the only one who didn’t get that. Is not getting that no eighteen year old needs to wear a cape one of those irreconcilable differences people break up over?

“You really got me there, killer,” Julio rolls his eyes, twanging out an especially loud and off key chord. “Bow wow.”

Shatterstar looks between them both, frowning slightly. “I’m still not sure how this works,” he says to Doug, who is completely absorbed in his laptop. Probably skyping with Warlock on the other side of the galaxy or something. “Am I supposed to be jealous here? Are they doing the flirting?”

Doug sighs. “Like I would know?”

A month later Scott’s master plan to seduce Justice into joining the New Mutants fizzles out when he and Vance break up. Not, it turns out, because of his cape, but because of Firestar. But no, we do not need to declare a blood feud, Dani, please for the love of god, for once just chill. She’s actually a very nice person and I’m happy for them both and no I do not want to talk about it let’s go to the Danger Room, I want to kill robots please and thank you.

He dates Berto’s clone for awhile, but then he turns evil and if capes are maybe an issue for Scott, supervillain monologues are definitely a dealbreaker. Even if Berto is like, the only person in existence who can pull them off. Course, Scott might be biased, oh no he’s biased about his time travelling ex’s supervillain clone who is also his ex. How is this his life? That’s it, Scott decides. No more dating time travelers, clones or supervillains. He is declaring a moratorium on all non-age appropriate, born in this era, on this planet, in this universe, potential suitors.

Two days later, Cable gathers them all in the den. Standing next to him is a teenager who looks like he could be his grandson, complete with glowing eye and a single white streak in his hair.

“Everyone, this is Nate Grey,” Cable says, sounding both pained and bored, as though he’s been through this a dozen times already and it hurt every time.  “He’s my younger self from an alternate universe and...”

“Oh no, he’s hot,” Scott groans. Tabby busts out laughing and falls off the arm of the couch where she’d perched. Nate looks at Scott with a quizzical frown, but two seconds later his lips twitch and he ducks his head and oh no, Grey, he’s a telepath ugh fuck his life this is literally the worst. Cable looks back and forth between the two of them, his frown deepening until its practically a canyon in his granite-stern face.

“No,” he says flatly. Scott flushes beet red.

“Shut up, you’re not my dad!”

He blinks. Where the hell did that come from? Jimmy and Illyana join Tabby in the dying of laughing.

“No, but you know who his dad is, right?” Julio drawls. “Cyclops. Which means if you marry our boy Nate here, who's basically a Summers, then we’d have two Scott Summers who both have sticks permanently stuck up their asses. How would we ever tell you apart?”

“I will rip your throat out with my teeth,” Scott says, eyes flashing and canines elongating, in what is supposed to be clear and obvious menace but for some reason Dani too is now on the floor. Ugh. Traitors, every last one of them.

Shatterstar throws up his hands in exasperation, turning to Doug. “Okay, is THIS the flirting? I’m not even mad, I just want to know!”

“Then why are you asking me?!” an equally exasperated Doug yells back. 

Wolverine enters the den, the kitchen on the other side his clear destination. He stops, takes one look around the room. Sniffs. Shakes his head.

“Nope,” he says as he turns on his heel and walks back out.

And that’s what you missed on Glee.