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rowanaelinn · 2 years

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Illicit Affairs - Helia’s Secret

Masterlist

Written for When Aelin Is Away prompt @rowaelinscourt

Warnings: mentions of death | Word Count: 2,200

On a bright and cold day of December, Rowan was interrupted by his daughter in his study. With her irresistible smile, she asked him if he’d like to go out to eat something. The request alone told him this outing was more important than just some father/daughter moment. Contrary to Helia’s mother, Aelin who was away on a work trip, Rowan hated eating out or ordering food in. Aelin always referred to him as a health junky, and he supposed she was right. His daughter knew that, as well.

No questions asked, Rowan had stopped in his work and told his daughter to get into his car. “Can I drive?” She asked sweetly.

She didn’t have her license yet, and he was in the process of teaching her. He glared at her, his only answer. He loved his daughter, the Gods knew he did, but she was awful at driving. Again, he didn’t know how but it was something she picked from Aelin. Whenever he was driven by any of his girls, he feared for his life. He’d never say it out loud, though, or he’d actually die.

“Boring old man,” she rolled her eyes and climbed on the passenger side of the car.

He snorted, unaffected by the insult. Not a day went by in the Whitethorn house without a remark being made about his age.

“Where are we going?” He asked her. She knew restaurants more than he did. She was his little savior, always recommending him the best restaurants to take Aelin to on their date nights.

“Can we go to that place I like? With their pastas?”

“Sure,” he nodded, and shifted to first gear.

While he’d been more than good at STEM subjects, Helia was the definition of the perfect humanity student. Even at only fifteen, she knew three languages, well on her way to learn a fourth. She loved eating at Emrys because the old man there spoke the old language, and she’d been learning that language for years now.

Once they arrived at the place and a waiter took in their order, Rowan waited. Nothing good would come from pushing her if she had something to tell him. He tried to keep his face neutral, but inside he prayed that whatever it was it wasn’t too serious. He seriously prayed she wasn’t pregnant. He couldn’t be a grandfather now—and Aelin would joke endlessly about it—and Helia was still… a baby.

His baby. Even if he knew she would deny it. She was growing, he was aware of it. He also knew that his days were counted until she moved away from him for college, and sometimes he wished he could always keep her under his roof. “How’s school?” He started, not truly knowing on which feet to dance. Maybe if he initiated the conversation, it was better for her.

“Oh, everything’s fine,” she shrugged. “I’ve signed in for the theater club, like I said I would.”

“That’s good,” He nodded. “Are you happy about that?”

“Yeah, sure. Plus, Talia has signed up for it as well, so it’s good.”

Talia was Helia’s best friend, or girl best friend to not forget about Loren. They’d met when they were six and hadn’t left each other side since. Hellas, sometimes Rowan felt as if Talia was his daughter as well because of all the time she spent at their house.

Their pasta arrived right after, and she started clapping in her hands with excitement. “Thank you, dad.”

He frowned, “You don’t have to thank me for keeping you fed.”

She shrugged, “You could have said no to going out.”

Right, that was an opportunity he would take. “I felt like you had something to tell me.”

She looked away, fixating her green eyes on the man behind him as her mouth moved to the side. He didn’t enjoy seeing her this way, and she looked down at her lap. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.

“I-I do.”

“I’m all ears, baby,” he smiled at her, trying to encourage her even if he was dying inside.

She took a deep breath and finally looked at him. She wasn’t usually one to be shy, she had never grown out of that outspoken and extrovert phase she’d had as a child, and it was that that troubled him the most. She swallowed with difficultly before she said, “I don’t really know how to say it, so I guess I’m just gonna go straight to the point. You like straight to the point anyway, you’re like… the most direct person ever. Always going straight to the point—”

“Which you’re not doing right now,” he noted with a touch of humor.

She glared at him, and he was happy to find some of her fire back. She took a deep breath and said quickly, “I like girls, dad. Like, I’m a… I’m a lesbian.”

“Okay…?” Well, he’d expected another kind of news. “Congrats?”

She frowned, and asked with heat, “What do you mean okay, congrats?”

He looked around the restaurant before replying, “I just wasn’t aware that I wasn’t supposed to know.”

Her face paled, “You knew? All this time, I’ve been worried sick about telling you, but you knew?”

“Helia, why have you worried in the first place? I love you, I don’t give a shit about who you love, as long as they are treating you right. And yes, I did have strong suspicions of it, but I never expected you to come out to me. I thought you’d just bring someone home and that’s it.”

“So… You’re not upset?” She asked, her voice quiet. Worried.

His heart squeezed in his chest, and he debated standing to hug her. “You thought I’d be?”

She shrugged, “I didn’t know how you’d react. I was scared you’d leave me.”

Alright, fuck it, he stood and leaned into his daughter, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her head into his chest and sniffed. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, “I love you, always. Nothing you do could change it, alright?”

“I love you, dad.”

He sat back in his seat, and she asked, “What gave you those suspicions?”

He huffed a laugh, “You made your barbies kiss when you were a kid, Lia, which was quite telling if I have to be honest. And when you turned six, I think, you started speaking about how boys at school were ugly and annoying and didn’t understand why your friends wanted a boyfriend when girls were just more interesting.”

She bit her lips to avoid laughing, while Rowan was full-on grinning.

“And,” he kept going, “You never talked to me about a boy.”

“I never told you about a girl either,” she noted with a strong argument. Good thing, as she wished to be a lawyer. He had no doubts she’d make it.

“Which is why I never brought up the subject,” he said. “I could have been wrong.”

She let out a long breath, “Alright, that’s not the reaction I expected but I cannot complain.”

He cocked his head to the side and asked, “Have you told your mother?” If Helia had asked Aelin to keep the secret, she would have, and Rowan couldn’t fault her for that. She had Helia’s entire trust, and it was a good thing.

She winced, “Well, I did tell the dead one.”

Rowan’s brows furrowed and his lips parted, but he couldn’t say anything. He could only look at his daughter in confusion, and she shrugged, “What? I killed her, I can at least keep her entertained in her grave.”

“No,” he said, voice hard. “You did not kill your mother, Helia.”

Helia had never had a problem having two mothers and called them both the same way. Aelin never had a problem with it, had encouraged it even.

She looked away, all swagger fading away from her eyes. There was a vulnerability showing in her eyes, one he wasn’t used to seeing in his daughter. But he, unfortunately, knew it all too well, the guilt that ate someone alive. “Hey,” he breathed. “Lia, do you feel like you killed her?”

“I did, didn’t I?” She said, eyes filling with tears. “If she hadn’t been pregnant with me, her body might have been less exhausted. She would have survived the shock, would have survived the blood loss if she hadn’t had to give birth to me.”

“The only people who are responsible for your mother’s death are the Gods and fate. She was thrilled at the idea of having you, you know. You made her so happy,” that was the truth. Lyria hadn’t been good for him, hadn’t been the right person. But she would have been an amazing mother to Helia, that was something he didn’t doubt.

“I just sometimes fear that you resent me for it, you know?” She admitted, bottom lip quivering. “That if I wasn’t here, you’d still be happily married and all. I kind of ruined it all.”

“No,” he stopped her right there. “Baby, I could never regret you a single day of my life. You made me want to be better, you and Aelin put me out of a dark place I wouldn’t have survived on my own. And…” He sighed. “I hope it doesn’t upset you, but even if your mother had survived, I don’t think we’d still be together.”

Her smile turned watery, “Because it’s always been Aelin?”

“Exactly,” he said, smiling a little. She’d summed it up perfectly. “But it doesn’t mean I didn’t love your mom, because I did. Sometimes, life just surprises us.”

“I know, dad,” she smiled, and then took a deep breath. “How do you think mom would have reacted? To me being a lesbian?”

“She would have loved you just the same she did the day before,” he said, truthful. “She would have been proud of you, for being who you are. Just the way that I am.”

She quickly wiped away a tear from her cheek and tilted her head up, “Well, good. Because I’m not changing for anyone.”

He grinned, “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

She smiled and took a bite of her meal, closing her eyes to enjoy the food. Again, that was such an Aelin thing to do. He missed her, and wished she’d be here today with them. But if Helia had wanted to come out to both parents at the same time, she would have.

As if she could read his thoughts, Helia said, “I will tell mom when she gets home, I think. I just… wanted you to know first.”

“Thank you, Lia,” he said with sincerity. Then he winced, because he was about ruin this perfectly good moment. “I’m afraid I have to slip back into my fussy father mode.”

Her face paled, “Please don’t.”

“We need rules.”

“No we don’t.”

“Helia,” he gave her his infamous dad look. She sighed in resignation, he took it as a sign to continue. “I cannot forbid you from inviting your friends for sleep-overs,” because the Gods knew that teenagers loved to have sleep-overs. “But I trust you enough that you would tell me which friend is… more. If one of them is. Because rules will change if… If you have a girlfriend.”

She narrowed his eyes at him, “Why do you care? I can’t get pregnant, can I?”

He choked on his mouthful of pasta. “Helia Whitethorn,” he scowled.

She raised her hand in the air in a sign of innocence, “I’m just saying! We don’t need rules.”

He cocked his head to the side, “Straight or bisexual or lesbian I don’t give a shit, Helia. What I care about is that you’re only fifteen, and I think you already have a lot of freeom, don’t you?”

That was true. He and Aelin allowed her to go to parties, told her that if she was drinking within reasons, it was alright, and that if she ended up too drunk or in a dangerous situation she could call them, which she had done with Talia a few weeks prior when they started getting sick. Aelin and he wanted her to experience those things, but he also knew that for Aelin it was hard to give her those liberties without feeling as if she was neglecting Helia. She feared becoming like her own mother and father. He supposed that some wounds from her past would never entirely close.

“You’re right,” she mumbled.

“Alright,” he nodded. “So, do you have anything to tell me?”

A blush spread in her cheeks, and she bit her lip. “Talia and I we’re… I love her, dad.” The look on her face, how bright her eyes shone… She looked in love.

“Oh—” He blinked a couple of time. “Alright, you did manage to surprise me in the end today.”

She snorted, “But don’t worry, we never did anything or… Well, you see. We just kiss. So, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

He tried to hold his wince in, he didn’t wish to know more.

On a more serious note she asked, “Does that mean she won’t be able to come over anymore?”

He took a deep breath, unsure of what to say. “It’s a decision that needs to be taken with your mother. But I suppose that if you promise to respect the house rules, I could bring up the idea of sleepovers under the condition of leaving the door open.”

She nearly jumped out of her seat in excitement, “Thank you, dad! You’re the best!”

He couldn’t truly hold back a smile at that, he tried his best to make his girls happy. He supposed he’d done a pretty good job.

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @elentiyawhitethorn // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod // @louphantomdragon // @mis-lil-red // @backtobl4ck // @whoever-you-choose-to-love // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace // @the-introverted-bibliophile // @leiawritesstories // @emilyoftheshadows // @anniesbookshelf // @rainbowcheetah512 // @astra-ad-mare // @story-scribbler // @superspiritfestival l // @wordsafterhours // @rowaelinrambling // @black-daisy-water // @fireheart-violet // @livsdriverslicense // @charlizeed // @ladykreads // @mariamuses // @autumnbabylon // @justreadertings // @highqueenofelfhame // @earthtolinds // @bowdawn

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #throne of glass fanfiction #illicit affairs rowan pov #illicit affairs #throne of glass

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rowanaelinn · 2 years

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Also IA Helia is like my favorite character ever and she gives me so much inspiration and I had this small prompt that could somewhat fit IA, somewhat not - whatever you decide if you wish to write it 😁

Rowan with Helia at a park or beach on a warm day, Rowan's tattoos visible. Some judgmental old lady commenting Rowan's tattoos to her friends and Helia getting defensive because "daddy's drawings are awesome and one day she wants to have pretty drawings too!"

Illicit Affairs - Outtake (nine months before)

IA Helia your favorite? 🥺

Thank you for this prompt, it was so nice to write about! Anyone should feel free to send me some!

Warning: None / Word count: 1,500

Beautiful and warm days weren’t unusual in Doranelle, and yet Rowan had rarely lived such a hot day. The heat outside was almost unbearable, the sun entirely uncovered by clouds and free to hit people’s skins.

Rowan had grown up with Doranelle’s weather, he was used to heat waves at least once a year. The one who still wasn’t acclimated to this heat was his newly three years old daughter.

She was currently dressed only in underwear, laying facedown on the cold tiles of their kitchen. Rowan winced from where he sat at the kitchen table, “Are you okay, Lia?”

She let out a fake sob, muffled by the floor, “Am Hot!”

Yeah, she didn’t react the best to hot temperatures. Kids had a lower tolerance, and his daughter just wasn’t someone who enjoyed the heat. Guilt hit him, he should have bought a house with a swimming pool, that would have been better for them. Rowan grabbed a rag and wet it with cold water before putting it on her back, making sure to cover her neck. “Better?”

She whined, Rowan’s heart squeezing. He’d done everything right to keep the heat out, and yet it hadn’t really been enough. Their curtains and windows stayed closed; he’d turned off every unused electronics. “I don’t like this, Dada.”

“I know, baby,” he grabbed a hair tie on his wrist and tied her hair in a ponytail. Her curls were tight and voluminous, they were surely not helping her body’s temperature to cool down if they kept covering her neck and shoulders. “Is there anything I can do?”

She shifted and turned her head, looking at him with big, wide and pleading eyes, “Swimming pool, dada?”

And once more, Rowan Whitethorn had been caught in his daughter’s clutches. Sure, she was hot, but he was pretty sure she slightly accentuated her feelings just to get what she wanted. He didn’t know where she caught up on that trick, but she had never been shy in her use of it around him.

Today wasn’t an exception.

She loved doing to the public pool. It was usually Fenrys who brought her there, or Lyria’s parents. Rowan was not a huge fan of public pools. He couldn’t help but think of every single germ that could be found in such environment, but what was he supposed to say?

No, Helia, public pools are dirty.

But I’m hot, dada.

Then use the bathtub as pool.

That’s one thing his aunt would have told him growing up, never truly caring for his welfare. And he’d been older than Helia when he ended up in her care, the constant rejection had hurt him at ten. He didn’t want his three years old to feel the same way.

He sighed, nodding. She jumped on her feet, but Rowan grabbed her wrist before she could start jumping everywhere in excitement. “There are a few rules, Lia.”

She sighed, crossing her arms and cocking her head to the side, “Why do you like rules so much?”

He ignored her little jab. If she thought that he gave her too many rules… “You stay where I can see you the entire time. If you make a friend, you tell me and you show me who they are, alright?”

“Yes,” she sighed.

“No running, never. Last rule, you stay where your feet touch the bottom.”

“Are you done?”

“What were the rules?” He asked, once again ignoring her sass.

“Staying where you can see me, no running, I tell you if I have a friend, and don’t go too deep.”

“Good,” he praised, smiling and leaning in to kiss her forehead. She went to run into her room, but Rowan didn’t let go of his hold on her arm, “One kiss for your old dad.”

She giggled, the sound warming him more than the heat ever could, and said, “You’re not old dada.”

She placed a big, smacking kiss on his leg and ran upstairs. One day, too soon, he’d lose her. She’d be tall and beautiful, and she would walk downstairs with boxes in her arms, ready to leave him.

He wasn’t ready for that to happen. Never.

---

“Not too fast,” he grilled through his teeth at Helia. “You sure you’re not forgetting anything, young lady?”

She gave him her most charming smile, “No, dada.”

“Sunscreen,” he said, face serious. He let her go away with a lot of things, but when it came to safety, he could be a little overbearing. Just a little.

She sighed, “But you don’t put sunscreen.”

He raised an eyebrow, “I don’t?”

She shook her head and crossed her arms, “I never see you.”

He sat on the deck chair and grabbed the sunscreen, “I’ll tell you what, you put sunscreen on me, and I’ll do it on you, yeah?”

Her face lit up and she nodded, “Yes!”

He grinned and took off his shirt and shorts, leaving him in his swimsuit. He’d packed a little more muscles these past few years, Lorcan made him work out multiple times a week. He said it was good for his anger, and Rowan agreed now.

He was used to the stares, that didn’t bother him. It was flattering, too, when women stared a little longer at him. He wasn’t interested in any of them, but it was that feeling of being wanted, maybe.

Two older ladies at his left stared a little too long and he smiled, inclining his head in greeting. They looked away quickly, talking with each other. Rowan turned around to let Helia apply the cream on his back. He’d have to do it himself after, he knew, but he didn’t care. He loved spending time with his daughter.

His eyes caught a flash of golden hair, and his heart missed a beat before the woman turned around. Why did he except her to be there? She was still in Terrasen.

He only knew that because he had the pleasure of working with her parents, a reminder everyday of the woman who had had such effects on her three years ago.

He let his brain conjure an image of her with Helia and him, would something like it be possible? Of course, it wasn’t. She had that perfect boyfriend, the one whose age was appropriate. She wouldn’t want to be burdened by a man with a child, anyway. She was too young, too wild.

And yet, he still dreamed of her most nights.

“Who let these tattooed punks be parents, anyway?” One of the older ladies snickered, probably thinking she was being quiet. His body slightly tensed but he didn’t say anything, what good would it do? “Look at that arm!” She laughed.

He’d gotten his tattoo about a year ago. It was an old tradition in their religion, mental pain and stains should be also made physical. It was part of the therapy and recovery he tried to follow for Helia.

“Hey!” Helia interrupted them. Rowan turned around to find her frowning at the ladies, her arms crossed with sunscreen all over her one-piece bathing suit. “Dada’s drawings are pretty, why do you judge?”

“Excuse me?” The lady asked, lifting her sunglasses to have a better look at Helia.

“Dada’s drawings are pretty,” Helia repeated. He bit the side of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I want the same when I’m grown up, and why would a drawing make him a bad dada?”

Both women’s mouths were slightly agape, and they only widened even more as his daughter kept talking.

“Dada says that when we don’t like something on someone else, we don’t say it. I don’t say that your hair is not pretty, so you don’t say something about his—”

“Lia,” Rowan chocked on a laugh.

The rude lady turned to him, “Has no one ever taught you how to raise a child?”

“Has no one ever told you basic public decency?” He snapped on the same tone as hers. Remarks on his body, he could take it. Anything about his kid, though?

“Yeah!” Helia backed him up, and he almost beamed at her. “Public basic deventy!” She tried to repeat, which only made Rowan break into a smile

The ladies scoffed, grabbed their stuff and left, leaving with a comment about how rude Rowan and Helia were. He ignored them, raising an eyebrow to his daughter, “What was that?”

She shrugged, smiling shyly at him, “They were mean. I don’t like mean people.”

He smiled at her, his back relaxing, “I know, but sometimes picking a fight isn’t worth it.”

She thought for a second before shrugging, “It is.”

He sighed, knowing that when his daughter’s mind was settled on something, it wasn’t likely to change. “Sit there, I’ll put sunscreen on you then you can play.”

She sat gladly in between his legs, letting him apply the cream on her skin. “Her hair really was ugly,” he said after a while, and Helia let out the most joyful and loud laugh in the world.

She turned around and threw her arms around his neck, “I love you and your drawings, dada.”

He kissed her forehead, “I love you more, Lia.”

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @elentiyawhitethorn // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod // @louphantomdragon // @mis-lil-red // @backtobl4ck // @whoever-you-choose-to-love // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace // @the-introverted-bibliophile // @leiawritesstories // @emilyoftheshadows // @anniesbookshelf // @rainbowcheetah512 // @astra-ad-mare // @story-scribbler // @superspiritfestival // @wordsafterhours // @rowaelinrambling // @black-daisy-water // @fireheart-violet // @livsdriverslicense // @charlizeed // @ladykreads // @mariamuses

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #throne of glass fanfiction #illicit affairs #illicit affairs rowan pov

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