#ill try to jot down my thoughts for all my main routes after i finish reading them all

[aces-and-angels]

final thoughts on the ilw finale: matthias edition (ch 23 spoilers below) @itlivesproject​

First, I would like to applaud everyone on the @itlivesproject​ team for creating such a wonderful gaming experience ♥ The storyline, visuals, music- all of it would not have been possible (or as freaking amazing) without your tireless efforts. To the kings, queens, and rulers of the ILW crew: please accept these flowers 💐💐💐

my betrayal route: 

edit: I know we were told to keep the sound on for the finale, but I think this WHOLE route needs to be played over clown music, anyways back to me trying to empathize w Boo Boo the Clown Rowan (dumb, evil edition)

ILW has variants- this is known. Matthias’ route has variants galore. Why try to change him when you can join him and change the entire narrative instead? I can’t think of any villains from past Choices books that have captivated my attention the way Matthias has. And with the sheer amount of options I could choose from to see how his story would end- I had to explore them all. 

As a reader, I was giving his character some major side-eye throughout the series. But taking myself out of the equation, the way he is written makes it perfectly believable that Rowan could fall for his deception. A master manipulator, through and through. Prepare to make a lot of enemies with this route, because no matter what, everyone will hate you with every fiber of their being. Here’s the proof: 

*wipes single tear from eye, sniffling* look at all those consequences. As everyone who has ever played ILW would say, PB could nevaahhhh 😗💅

In my main Matthias x Rowan route (where Ro is loyal to Matty to a fault), my attempt at betrayal didn’t give me the two evil lovers sipping cocktails by the pool epilogue that I was anticipating. Instead, my Rowan was dealt a more tragic (albeit karmically hilarious) conclusion that fits this portion of my analysis that I’d written on Grandpa Matty for ch 21: 

Matthias’ cruel nature is no secret to MC, regardless of their relationship status with him. Romancing him, however, allows MC to justify it. But that doesn’t stop that bit of doubt from creeping up. What happens when they’re no longer enough? Deep down, they already know the answer. But as of right now, Matthias loves them. Wants them. Ironically, they voice out this hidden fear to Adrian: “It’ll never be enough. No matter how much you get, you’ll always want more.”

If we’re defining a happy ending as getting everything you want, then yes, it is possible for Matthias to have one. In fact, it is guaranteed. MC’s happily-ever-after with him, however, will always come with strings.

Humanity and Matthias do not mix. Period. His flashback scene to when he was still a mortal confirms that he has always been a man that wanted more. More than what the fates allowed. And if that wasn’t convincing enough, Mama Loha comes in and reads him to filth. Rowan’s ties with Matthias are severed the instant they become human. It was a messy divorce lmaoo

Rowan, the failed villain. This ending leaves them the most at odds with themselves, in my opinion. 

From this:

To that: 

Imagine feeling completely whole for the first time in your life, only to think of yourself as useless seconds later. Every iteration of Rowan grapples with their identity- their connection to the Power, and what that means to them. The tragedy of the blood!matthias route is Ro falling victim to Matthias predatory nature- the same one he used to manipulate Jocelyn, and countless others, to his will. He filled their ears with sweet nothings that they were more than eager to receive. Except, Matthias never accepted Rowan. Not completely, at least. 

Matthias (to Rowan): “My darling, how anyone could think you were something so trivial as human is beyond me. You, my dear creature, are something the likes of which the world has never seen. A rose would pale in comparison to your beauty, and a lion would cower against your power. You are beyond extraordinary, and now you are all mine.”

Matthias builds Ro up to be what he wanted, not to what they were meant to/wished to become (in this route): human. Every other LI (unless you utterly fuck them over) will love Ro regardless of their fate. Matthias, on the other hand, proves that his love was always conditional. To the best of my knowledge, the only way you are able to achieve a successful Matthias x MC romance is if Rowan casts aside their humanity completely. Not even staying as they are, a mix between human and the Power, will work. While Matthias doesn’t flat out reject Rowan if they refuse to merge with their other half, it is impossible to be with him as they are. What happens when they’re no longer enough? Turns out, they were never enough to begin with.  

There is something especially cathartic of having Ro kill Matthias after he betrays them. Justice for all the lies he’d woven over the years. But even in death, the scars that Matthias left on Rowan remained. Seeing the relief Ro has after regaining their power is sad to witness because it shows just how little they valued themselves. Grandpa Matty really did a number on them: made them think their worth was solely tied to their Power half. The only thing that made them special to him. The only thing that could make Rowan feel special now. 

At the very end of the chapter, when Rowan is surrounded by wealth, Power flowing through their veins, they long to go back home. Back to Westchester. Despite having everything they thought they wanted, they yearn for the one thing they can’t have. The thing that they were told didn’t matter- the thing that made them useless. The same thing that, in the end, was all they truly desired. And that friends, is a sad way to send our Rowan off. 

but on the other hand girl how could you be THAT blind he MURDERED PEOPLE and wanted to do it AGAIN- always trust Lincoln you dumb hoe

ILW refusing to let Ro stay human in a blood/betrayal route is just screaming: you really think??? you can just go back to being a mortal??? after doing all of that???? How Rowan came to denying their humanity is tragic under the lens of Matthias’ manipulation. But their descent to the dark side- their willingness to go against everyone who has ever really loved them? Yeah, that part earns them a special place in clown school with a big helping of consequences. Alone, wandering the Earth, never truly at peace- a fitting end for a fallen villain

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Quickly touching on the other variants of Matthias’ route: 

I am HYPE that we get to win as the villain. If I’m fully committing to Ro’s evil era- I’m playing to win- and I wON BITCHES

Also I guess being an all powerful being makes wearing clothes seem trivial are they really just doing each other raw and walking around in the the nude 24/7????

DOUBLE CROSSING IS EVEN WILDER 

I was POSITIVE that if Ro didn’t cross Matthias, he would end up killing them in the epilogue. Esp since they both had the thought of killing each other to achieve their ultimate, final form

This option is just a big middle finger to every relationship Ro has ever had. They really said I choose ✨me, myself, and I ✨

Also killing Matty will forever be so satisfying. The sinister smile they have right before they do it: chills.

There is also the option to play as the villain and lose (Ro and Matty die) but who would wanna put themselves through that??? hahaha.... definitely not coming from someone who decided to read all the BAD endings first

If you made it this far down the post, heyyyy thanks for sticking with me😄 I’m curious on y’alls thoughts on Matthias’ fate in ILW. How’d his story end for you? Feel free to share below/in the tags!