#ill get used to it eventually probably but for now thats my method

[0yorixu]

last thing ill ever draw in 2024 is tf one wheelratch

I really suffered drawing this, genuinely took like 10 hours just for linework and idfk how to paint robots

uncropped ver under cut

[docilepillow]

2024 January Media Post Thingy

i dont post on tumblr.com a whole lot i mostly just love to reblog but i wanna see if this novelty thing sticks because for like 2020-2022 i had like a text file i did that i stopped doing in 2023 or so for like video games in particular and i unno it was fun but i got distracted cus half that month i was doing retail anything special happen this year yet? not especially, but since soon ill be very busy with something that IS indeed special, and my bday, i may as well make a post now bc i feel like i will be preoccupied for the first good bit of febuary personally ( exciting life stuff ! ) last disclaimer is that at some point i would want to add movies and shows to this list when i get around to it , but for me december and january've kinda blended in that regard.. me and my friends watched Wonka recently and i was kinda so-so on that just cus' i think the original movies a certain way i guess. oops. i think there were other movies/ shows too and comics as well but once again, december-january blurr for me. Furthermore, any piece of media i pick out for this will also have a completely arbitrary doc-ism secondary title just because i feel like it. Enjoy! VIDEO GAMES! ! MARIO GALAXY 2 < SECOND ROUNDEST MARIO GAME >

I wanna say i spent from the first of january to the third on this game, but my Wii Menu calendar is a little fucked up....

Whoops! Regardless, i do have a bit of a background of not completely " gel-ing " with the original Mario Galaxy gameplay wise in my own friendgroup, to mostly dismayed reactions n junk. In short, i think artistically the game's merits are absolutely fantastic, but since i played it on the switch 3d mario collection some time after sunshine, i do think the control scheme is overall pretty limited, and that does apply to mario galaxy 2, i guess, but methodically, i think playing this game on a wiimote does make the limitation feel i guess more fair in terms of like camera control and deliberacy n stuff... the galaxy games and presentation are completely amazing works of art obviously and theres some good music here but i think between galaxy 1 and 2 i definitely prefer 2 mechanically. i enjoy the level scenarios more thats primarily it, i think. I'm so-and-so on how comets work and how many stars you need to get to get to the end ( I think how comets spawn is a little filler-ey and waiting for them to appear in a level i don't know it'll appear in was a little obtuse to figure out, even if i did eventually manage it and actually enjoy the challenges they offer. its mostly just really annoying comet spawning mechanics that were a drag. a very deliberately- controlling mario i guess and being more familiar with galaxy's control probably was why i was able to enjoy this one more ? Yay! I think i still enjoy 3d world more then this and most other 3D marios, though. It's a good video game and i liked the boss fights in it, theyre surprisingly cool and dynamic for what i'm used to from the mario series. I didn't do the special world, though. i wasn't compelled to go that far past the credits. ( You'd think this game's doc-ism title would come from it being the sequel to mario galaxy, and thus, second roundest, but honestly, i think in terms of the mario series scale, Mario Pinball Land has round mario in it, and galaxy 2's starship mario is definitely, i think, rounder then the comet observatory from galaxy one. That makes Mario Galaxy the third-roundest mario game! )

From around the 6th to the 13th, I ended up playing --- ACTRAISER RENAISSANCE < THE CEREAL-BOX GOD GAME >

actraiser is definitely a mixed video game for me, because i definitely see the merit in it. It's a very unconventional splicing of both sidescrolling and city-development game, a " remake " of a novel SNES/Famicom game with the same premise. You're like a big god of light guy who sends your soul into this little warrior guy who cleanses the land of monsters for around 6 different settlements to florish in with the assistance of a cute little angel friend and whatever area's flavor of local legend the game gives you after a story event or two to hold down the place from encroaching monster dens and such; and, apparently exclusive to this version, there's also little tower-defense segments that come in waves around four or five times per area, which in my opinion are kind of this game's weakest link, but not without like Some kind of merit. At the end of each town segment, there is also a big boss fight, usually tying into the story in some way.

( I think one of the things that genuinely pushed me to give the game a try was the cute angel design in it..... ) (I usually take an excessive number of screenshots whenever i'm playing on switch, just because doing so is very easy and i'm a sentimental freak ( For actraiser R, this is 148 screenshots ) ) ( If i continue doing this next month, i'll try to include the foresight to actually use my capture card for images, instead of taking pictures with my phone.. ) ( I think one of the things that genuinely pushed me to give the game a try was the cute angel design in it..... ) (I usually take an excessive number of screenshots whenever i'm playing on switch, just because doing so is very easy and i'm a sentimental freak ( For actraiser R, this is 148 screenshots ) ) ( If i continue doing this next month, i'll try to include the foresight to actually use my capture card for images, instead of taking pictures with my phone.. ) Some things i like that this game does, alot ---

i think it has a very very cool " world select " map. one very postive thing is that it updates in real time with your progress in the area, so you can watch it all expand from your little sky palace once you've done your buisness there. it's really satisfying and pretty... this game's got really good 2d art, i think. I've heard people be mixed on the sidescroller art in comparison, but i think it's got a charm to it. I think it's cute and while its probably more a budgetary limitation, i do like how everything kind of looks like one of those fantasy stills you can sometimes buy from arts and crafts stores. The framerate on them is like a bit lower then what you'd expect from a modern game but mechanically its still very responsive, which makes me feel like it's a stylistic choice to look more stop-motioney, i guess. Maybe im just a fan of ham, i unno.

In terms of the overhead segments, it's pretty basic and automated, which is fine by me, and perfectly workable for what it is, i think, conceptually ( they build out on your own but you do kind of " guide their hand " when it comes to where paths go, at least. It does lead to a weird meta thing being to zap your own people with holy lightning to destroy stuff you don't want though, which feels flavorfully odd for a benevolent god.... I guess it's fair enough

the main problem with the game is that the tower defense segments, the main major feature and addition of this remake, does kind of take the game's pacing and drop flat in the middle of it. They're usually decently long segments where you can only indirectly fight, and are kind of slow. They also usually need you to protect or have a certain number of buildings left by the end of it ( having all of your farms in tact by the end, defending the main temple, not having every house burned down ) which can be a bit more difficult then it sounds. i dont think the segments are bad or anything, there's just.... entirely too many of them??? like mechanically theyre fine they just happen every other second between story events and it feels kind of padded after like the second one in one area, and there's about 5 per area of increasing difficulty. i definitely think if anything could be reined back, it'd be that. I don't think the story is too special , either, the angel kind of just quips sassily about the story at you from time to time and your followers make requests of you at the temple, usually manifesting in the town segements as " have x number of y " or getting the population to a set threshold, or getting x number of resources. The structure of each area isn't shaken up too much, mostly just " new settlement, find a guy, guy isnt so sure about this lord of light guy but through fighting alongside u and some small character arch, they become a champion of yours or something and you meet the scary boss guy and kill them and weaken the big bad dark lords forces behind it all, but there were two segments i liked, both pretty late-game, with the ice wyvern and this guy named shemall whose only affront to you is having a more popular humanitarian ideology ( who actually becomes the dominant ideology in the segment leaving the church literally empty for a good portion of it , and is only tied into the status quo by the dark lord himself possessing the other temple and shit and starting a really really bad storm of eeevil , who i like a bit ) and a boss in the last area who was implied to once be a force of good but ultimately subservient to the bad guys will, which is basic but i tihnk neat. also they have cool designs. )

Shrug! I think it's neat but it has problems that bog it down! Waah! i dont regret playing it or anything but it's like a 7! ( It's kind of like a game you'd get in one of those cereal boxes, and it's a little cheap, but its endearing to me ? ) TOREE 3D < LEAST-CONSEQUENCIAL SPOILER AWARD >

finished this game the same day i finished actraiser, in one sitting. Ummm... i know this game's like a crowd favorite, and it's, like, solid, but i don't really have all that much to say about it ..... Like, it's an OK platformer, with like really great value for your dollar, but i don't really have all that much to say about it, endearment-wise. I think also that the VHS horror elements are largely unnecessary and are kind of whatever, but I know i'm not really the audience for it. That's the spoiler, i guess. Around the same time, in a date range I don't remember, I basically ended up completely reorganizing my room for Life Stuff, and ended up giving a really cool fan project a try, from a series i've always wanted to try more of, if not for the language barrier, in the form of -- STARFY ORIGINS ( Densetsu no Stafy ) < SPLASHABLE VIDEO GAME >

Waaaaaaaa ! i love starfy ( Stafy? ) You probably wouldn't have the background on it unless you knew me, but i'm a real DS head, and one of my earliest games on the system, one i have vivid memories with, was The Legendary Starfy, an " underwater platformer ", mostly known as being a kirby-like game in style, and being the last entry in a mostly untranslated series of platformers that're japanese-exclusive!

Essentially, what this means for me was that there was , for a very long portion of my kid-years, a bunch of video games out there that i knew i'd be instantly endeared by if ONLY i could play them ( since, even at the time, gba emulation for me was kind of mystical and out of my ability ) ; and , at least in my mind, that meant it'd have just as many lovable characters and such as the the starfy I got to play, anecdotaly meaning the only exposure i'd have to these games beforehand is ferverously looking up stuff on the starfy wiki and watching youtube videos of the final bosses and stuff; basically just lementing for years that " aww,, theres no translation. i guess it's just too obscure " with the rest of the starfy fans i've heard about online, until recently! I emulated this game on Vita and overall i'd just have to say its a cute, decently-novel-but-slightly-padded 2d sidescroller. I'd say it was like ok-levels of worth the wait, but im honestly just floored that a translation of the first game happened at all, and i think its awesome what's been done. It's selfish to want, but i'd really like to try the other DS starfy game sometime, whenever that's translated. It's honestly one of the few loose-end games i can even think of and mechanically that one's a whole lot more out there then this one, which, other then the novelty of playing this game i've only heard murmurs of for over a decade, is just kind of alright. kudos to the fan translators making this game work out!!! I wonder if the team that did this have plans for the others now that this game's been translated....

Wew, halfway down the list, i'm sick of typing, but i'll keep going with ---> DEATHSMILES < SCARY >

Cool bullethell shmup with really tight gameplay my friend endeared me to with a single screenshot and a slightly empassioned ramble i forget the exact context of

idk i think this green girl is neat and the arcade style bullethell gameplay's really fun on steam deck; i just think the girls should be like 7 years older each then what the game says because the loli aspects of this game are kind of uncomfortable and unavoidable and i don't like them at all... the gothic horror halloween aestetic the game has otherwise absolutely rocks and is just up my alley, though. i guess its just part of the style theyre going for, but it's a really unfortunate Japanese quirk you kind of have to just tolerate for the other Very Good aspects the game has gameplay and artisticly wise ( music and art direction is awesome )

the girl's dragon familiar is named booboo by the way. just thought that's important. LITTLE GOODY TWO SHOES < GAME **MOST** RESPONSIBLE FOR SINGLE-HANDEDLY HOME-WRECKING MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY THIS MONTH >

Another game my friend reccomended whicch is completely awwesome and my entire aestetic and i love it alot and i think its my game of the year unless something else comes around and im absolutely floored with it and i went into it completely endeared and its completely wrecked my vernacular and its so pretty and its so artistic and its so different and its so pretty and its so girl and its so gay and im Elise and im in the woods i like being in the woods this game has the best aestetic of any game ive played ever and it feels like no competition and ummmmmmmmmmm

idk just fucking look at it its so so so so good i love this games world so sooso osososoos s oso ososo o os so mcuh its so good it so nice its so charactered genuinely great little slice of life slash horror slash social sim game with admittedly some jank portions of it that piss me off a little bit but holy fucking shit this games aestetic is the best besy best best bersy tbest best thing ever made i think its really really good pelease watch this segment on youtube its so silly

im not gonna type anything else this game Is its narrative and i dont wanna spoil anything but its great its got a lovely dark fable aestetic and i think everyone should play it especially if you like rpg maker horror type games / are gay as hell / love fairytale aestetics like I do

i like ummmm Lebkuchen by the way. if u wanna know what my ending is. there is some fucked up shit that happens in this game though despite how absolutely adorable it looks. everything in this game points to it being one of my favorites of all time or at the very least it will definitely poison my brain forever at the expense of my friends who havent played it yet. Waaah..... no i dont think talking about a fanmade pokemon rom hack after arguably a massive artistic achievement is disrespectful thats just how the month flows POKEMON ROWE < I broke it, oops... >

really cool open-world emerald rom hack, similar to crystal clear and the like. I've technically played it already, but this is the first time i've completed it, though i completely broke the game really early into it that undermined it in a way i didnt realize for about 7 gyms, before i accidentally nuked the overworld with a massive bug that scrambled my player's gender and made the overworld color pallete fuck-ey, which, im not ggoing tto blame the developer on, i'm summing that up to a cosmic ray or something. i think with time and with more polish i could see myself liking this more then crystal clear, but time'll see. ( Team was as below )

MIGHTY GUNVOLT < tie in video game i've ever played >

typing this like an hour ins making me realize this docism thing might not stick but mighty gunvolt is neat i guess i never finished it when i first played gunvolt and obsessed over that when it was new ( Mighty gunvolt came as a free download if you bought the first game digitally, you see ) because of the first boss, but now as a more experienced gamer, that's really just because the fire boss is kind of just a weird difficulty spike at the start that the rest of the game difficulty wise doesnt really match up to. It's a cute, very short ( i beat all 3 character campaigns in two hours , liesurely ) platformer styled like megaman, and that's all it really needed to be at the time. i wouldnt go out of my way to play it these days if it wasnt for my own baggage with the gunvolt series in general, and if it wasnt for my much greater affection for its sequel, mighty gunvolt burst.... I'm just gonna say if this game interests you , you really should just play burst instead. Even if you've played the latter before, you're really not missing out on much more then a moderately ok side scroller. it sure is a tie in demake on the early 3ds ! 6180 THE MOON

Surprisingly, this game's on alot of platforms? I just kind of chose it on a whim 'cus it was on the top of the list of H-SHOP stuff and i was looking for something short to play, but it's pretty artsy.

It's a puzzle-platformer where the gimick is that the ball wraps around the screen when you fall down or up, which works really well with the 3ds in my opinion. with the compression and stuff on the 3ds and how the game was laid out, it affectionately reminds me of a flash game you'd find on coolmath or the such, and its very relaxed ( if a little wonky ) . i dont have anything bad to say on it or anything its just a small little game i played on a whim. it's very minimalistic, if you're into that aestetic, you might like this. That's the last of the wholy " new " stuff i finished this month, and id say overall its a solid start for me, and kind of out of season ( very octobery-feeling game lineup in retrospect..! But that month's always usually crowded with obligations and stuff, so i doubt i'd be in a mood for them even at that time of year.. )

Also, i gave a try to cavestory on wiiware, first time i've played the game in a few years now since the switch rerelease! I think its just as fun as i found it when i first discovered it on 3ds, and, while i have a friend who adamantly disagrees, i actually really do like the OST of this version. It's a cute mutation on the games ost that in my opinion enhances the kind of forelorn vibe the game originally had, and i really like the blown up art of this version of cave story, even if it does have nichalis's hands all up in the matter. since it's unlocked from the start, i played the game on Curly Story till the true ending. I still love this game alot. Sometime i'll trick a certain individual into finishing it, i hope.

That's all i have to say! this is the first time i've made such a big post on any kind of social media period, so, hopefully its not unreadably disjointed or self-absorbed. Whatever!

play little goody two shoes

[diona-98]

*deepest inhale in the land of deep inhales*

Okay so basically, theres this small little AU called Heartslost. This girl was born, but her powers were deemed wicked and unholy by the villages, and she was banished to a part of the Earth. This part has one way barriers, once you go in you cant come out. Unless of course, you have the power of 7 human souls.

The young girl uses her powers to create life. She first creates Ink, who uh.. turns out soulless. He kinda leaves out. She then creates Error, because Ink is a little bit of a danger and someone needs to keep him in check. After? She creates Blue, Frisk, and Chara.

Wait.. isnt making humans overpowered!? Couldn't she just make the human souls!? Well.. no. She can only make psuedo souls, which are the same strength as monster souls.

Continuing, Frisk is a ghost who kinda just.. vibes with Chara. And Blue? Well he grows close to the girl, almost like a brother.

She decided to make only a few more creations. Dream, and Nightmare. The whole "nightmare eats black apple thing" still happens, but like.. theres no bullies really? He does get a bit bullied but not that severe. ITS FRICKIN' ADAM AND EVE??? HOW DID YOU GET IN THIS STORY??? Basically one of Nightmare's "friends" tricks him into eating one.

Dw tho, he's still chill. Just even more emo now.

Okay you're probably getting tired of me setting this AU up, so basically this girl named Olivia (Soul; Courage) gets stuck, has a little ghost pal following her, befriends everyone, and frees them.

Oh and also Blue helped the girl come up with a name. And that name is Afta.

Afta and her creations are free, and Olivia is their ambassador. Afta reunites with one of her birth family members too! Her brother, who also had a "curse" but it didnt happen until way later in his life and he could hide it.

OKAY WOOOO THATS OVER WITH.

NOW WE CAN GET INTO THE MULTIVERSE- OH SHOOT MORE BACKSTORY.

I'll make it short! Or try..

Basically theres a glitch in a copy of Heartslost, and Afta has been replaced. The new person quickly gets corrupted though. Went through torture, blah blah blah, lost their whole AU. Seeks vengeance.

So? They use an abandoned AU from the multiverse over. Including Ink, Error, Dream, Nightmare, Blue, Dust, Killer, Cross, Horror, Lust, Classic, and Fell. And maybe a few more. They play around with corrupting it, before abandoning the project. They did a hard reset on everything, leaving the experiment rewritten.

Then, their plan was inacted. They corrupted an au known as Sweetsverse. They also went around and corrupted a few more.

Okay now I'm getting tired so I'll just give a run down.

The corrupted person, Ochita, went around corrupting AUs. They eventually corrupted Heartslost, leaving Afta corrupted. Though the building resistance had found a way to fix them. Basically, you just split it. Two versions, the uncorrupted and the corrupted version.

Though none were powerful enough to do this. So they had to summon a third deliverer. These deliverers bring the messages of above. The third deliverer, Okita, managed to fix the AUs using this method. This summoned a new ally, Invert, a corrupted Afta.

Yadda yadda, Ochita corrupted more aus, oh also so many lesbians. Eventually though, one Afta knew what to do. Dessert, aka Swap!Afta. They had once been friends with Ochita. And they knew who they had to contact.

There were test versions for the Afta AUs. And their leader, Lav, aka Test Dessert, was pretty powerful. The two did a little thingy thing and fused. Eventually, the battle with Ochita came to an end, The fusion stabbed, and killed them.

And.. that's the end. Of Gen 1. Theres 2 more wars, both separated by gens. Gen 2 and Gen 3 are next. BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE STILL CURIOUS!!

I managed to get my half sleepy eyes to read this, unfortunately i couldnt read the multiverse part since im tired now

Ill make sure to read this in the morning (well, if i even remember it)

But over all, great au, love it already, oh and i hope you have a great day

[draagu]

did you get the dialogue from chert(bongo dude) regarding dark bramble? since you met him already.

i forgot ;-;

i need to pay attention to dialogue a bit more so i remember it better my bad

but! if its something they talk about by default, or about something you learned, thenn probably? i usually go through all the dialogue options

i did go see them near the end of the loop like you said though, dunno if i clicked the right dialogue option because they just kept saying any minute now and wouldnt let me ask/say the other option (the one where its like at least we're in a time loop haha) as the sun eventually went boom

and gabbro taught me to meditate what a chad

was going to see if i could tell them about other stuff but didnt realize the meditation would just automatically get through the cycle when learning it, so ill have to go back! that's a nifty feature to have now though!

ill use this ask to leave my game rambles for today since i have the primal urge to draw now so:

met rieback! and finally somewhat investigated the hanging city. the tunnels to each area are definitely interesting, i saw one going towards the black hole, and also saw a map of the city, and it looks like the black hole is also whatever the dome thing at the top thats closed off is? or at least thats my 'theory', left before finding how to get to the black hole tunnel tho

(everything was crumbling and rieback's piece of land kept losing stability so i got worried)

also as i said before, went to the dark bramble, died to the fish and never went back. i dislike that fish (ill go back EVENTUALLY, just not today lmao)

also pestered the quantum moon a bunch (flying into it and making it teleport). i looked at the log and was retaught that it had a sixth location, so I thought interacting with it a bunch would make something happen? but it kept just going near brittle hollow, so either its random or that is just not the method

also investigated timber hearth a little more, went to the grove quantum rock, and saw that weird sign post with the poem! its interesting! i forgot what it said exactly now, but at the time i think i thought it had something to do with the quantum stuff? also wondering what it is exactly, since it still teleported as well, but didn't have a signal.

also noticed the canon thingy near giant's deep occasionally would change directions at the start of the loop? dunno if thats important

and i think that was it for today

[wygolvillage]

been thinking about how i would make a remake/reimagining of simons quest. long post ahead. might be a little stupid since im no game designer or writer or anything lol

random gameplay stuff

it would be metroidvania style, but not all in the castle. imagine it like ooe but the map is interconnected.

i would keep the day/night cycle but it would be less obnoxious of course... probably there would be a little clock on the HUD showing what time it is and how close you are to nightfall. villagers would go inside during the night, but you can still enter churches. churches are your most reliable healing method since save rooms would be pretty sparse in the rest of the world map, and saving at the churches also allows you to skip straight to morning or nightfall if you so desire. being stuck in the middle of the woods during night can be disastrous if the player is ill-prepared since monsters grow stronger then.

there would still be puzzles to figure out and complete, and it would still be a bit cryptic (not to the degree of the original of course), but there is a supporting character i would put in who you can ask for hints at any time, and hers are a lot more straightforward (more on her later). important items are gained through quests rather than bought with hearts, but drop rates would be VERY forgiving since it’s required. like, a villager promises to give you the red crystal if you can get him some fish meat from a merman, which would have about a 40% drop rate... i kind of wanted to preserve the sense of fighting monsters to forage for materials the original has without making the game a total grindfest :P

additionally, materials dropped from monsters can be used to craft food items after simon teams up with the aforementioned supporting character. like i said before, save rooms wouldn’t be super common so it would be implemented as a way to heal yourself when you’re away from town.

the bosses would be decently difficult to compensate with there being very few of them- a true challenge, but they can be beaten with both playable characters if the player is skilled enough

the plot would be expanded upon as well so lemme give a little summary

it begins in simons house where he wakes up having trouble breathing. he’s been struggling with some physical illness ever since battling dracula years prior, especially a nasty bite on his arm he sustained during the fight, and that arm has been turning a pretty nasty shade of grey, like its wasting away. he goes outside to a graveyard near a local church to try and get some fresh air, but it is largely unhelpful. suddenly, he spots an old woman standing at one of the graves. he looks over at him and says mysteriously “ah... must be a horrible night for a curse.” simon is like “what do you mean?!” the old woman tells him to “resurrect him and destroy what remains, or nothing will remain of you”. she then disappears into thin air, implying she’s a ghost or something equally spooky. simon is like “destroy what remains... dracula’s remains?!”

the game starts properly in the graveyard and surrounding forest as simon heads in a fairly straight path towards the town of jova, where he meets a woman a few years younger than him named agnes. agnes’ parents were killed by dracula’s forces when he was resurrected back then, and she admires simon greatly for defeating the dark lord (shes also implied to be a descendant of grant danasty!). she decides to accompany him on his quest after hearing about his curse. he asks the head priest of the town if he knows about dracula’s remains, and the priest tells him that he heard of some of dracula’s followers placing some of dracula’s body parts in their strongholds to worship, and points him to the direction of the first stronghold and hands him a stake. he also warns them that bringing all of his remains together can resurrect the dark lord and it holds a remarkable corrupting power.

simon and agnes then become a character swapping duo (just like portrait of ruin hehehe). agnes is low on defense but can deal plenty of damage at a close range, and her signature weapon is the golden knife. she’s fast as well, whereas simon is more of a slow, defensive character who is best at keeping distance between himself and the enemy. agnes is smart, but impulsive and stubborn, and doesn’t like being told that she’s wrong. simon is a stoic but kind individual who tends to keep to himself. their personalities occasionally cause conflict between them during the adventure, but they eventually grow to become really good friends.

eventually they reach berkeley mansion, the first of the strongholds, and its aesthetic is very much “dark evil church”. there are the usual skeletons and bats and stuff, but some of the dracula followers are regular enemies as well. the first boss is a human who has dedicated his life to following dracula (specifically to contrast against the priest dude who gave simon the stake and directions) who uses magic attacks and stuff. beating him earns simon dracula’s rib, which functions suprisingly well as a shield (which becomes important later).

the adventure continues on like this, going from town to mansion to town, with simons curse becoming more and more hindering to him (from a story perspective not a gameplay one. simon wont become worse to play as because that would be lame as hell). they go to the other mansions, with the bosses being carmilla (guarding the nail of vlad, in a mansion thats very much a vampires lair), olrox (guarding the eyeball, in a massive dining hall themed mansion) death (guarding vlads ring in a Spooky Clockwork Skeleton Mansion with slogras and gaibons and all the usual death stuff), and in the final mansion... there is no boss. just as simon is about to grab the heart, agnes stops him.

Agnes: You told me you were going to destroy the remains, weren’t you?

Simon: Of... Of course, Agnes. Why do you ask?

Agnes: Why haven’t you?

Simon: ...

Agnes: We have almost all of them. You remember what the priest said, right? That bringing them together can resurrect Dracula.

Simon: Well... I haven’t exactly been truthful, Agnes. The old woman who sent me on this quest didn’t tell me just to destroy his remains...

Agnes: So you’ve been intending to resurrect the Dark Lord this whole time? For your own selfish gain?

Simon: This curse will kill me if I don’t.

Agnes: ...So it’s true, then. You’re willing to risk the lives of thousands just to save your own skin. Lives like my parents’... Lives like mine.

Simon: I...

Agnes: There’s no need to explain yourself, oh great hero, Simon Belmont. (Scoffs) If you care more for yourself than anyone else, strike me down now!

surprise! simon has to fight against his best friend! tbh i would be pissed at him too lmao. and it’s a tough fight, as agnes can deal a ton of damage and is hard to dodge. killing her like any other boss will give you the bad ending, where simon realizes she was right and lets himself succumb to the curse out of guilt for her death. the way to the good ending is to use dracula’s rib as a shield (i told you it would be important!) or dodge/survive her attacks until she tires out (the shield is the best method though), and realizes simon doesn’t want to hurt her. they have a touching emotional moment and simon assures her that he beat dracula before and can do it again, but he will need her help. agnes nods, and they head to the ruins of dracula’s old castle, which is totally empty. there’s no music, while the rest of the game has been filled with catchy tunes, here there’s only ambient noise.

they reach the throne room and place drac’s remains on a pedestal, where they begin to glow with dark energy. blood is dripping down the walls and stuff, and the count is returning to the mortal plane as thunder booms in the background. simon begins to doubt himself. if he loses now, the world will be plunged into darkness, and it will all be his fault. but... agnes has his back, despite everything. they fight dracula together, and though it’s tough with simon’s weakened body, they eventually prevail, as simon drives the stake into his heart, the curse finally lifted.

the game ends with agnes and simon returning to jova. agnes admits that she’s still upset with simon for lying to her, but she would be even more upset if he died slowly because of her. simon sighs, stating that there was no easy solution to the situation they were in, and asks for forgiveness for breaking her trust and risking so much for his own desires. agnes says maybe one day she will forgive him completely, and she still considers him a friend, but she needs some time to herself. simon nods, and they go their separate ways.

SO YEAH idk if this is even good but i hope u at least enjoyed reading it. maybe ill make designs for this version of simon, and for agnes too ofc :D

...yeah, not exactly the happiest ending, but i always found it kind of weird that simon was so willing to resurrect the count to save himself from the curse, so that’s the main conflict i decided to add to the story. its not the sort of conflict that can be easily resolved. theres no easy answer... agnes was right about simon risking other peoples lives being wrong, but she was also wrong to insist that he just give up and let the curse kill him instead. its Complicated idk... Castlevania II: Simon’s Trolley Problem

edit: actually i decided there would be two "true endings" after using the shield in the agnes fight. the one i described, and a second one where they decide against resurrecting dracula and simon lives out the short rest of his days with agnes until he dies of the curse. both endings are considered equally canon and valid

[cyberninja]

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Caleb Akamori ( last name given to him by the Grand-master )

Reason or meaning of name: Caleb was chosen by his mother , but Akamori has a interesting background . mori [ meaning forest ] . the Grandmaster gave him this last name because he knew his spirit was as big as strong as and as old as a forest .

Aka [ meaning red ] was given because it was foreseen the evil in his that was to come . finally coming to Akamori . “ the evil will come first and then you will find your true spirit “

Character’s nickname: commonly known as the Cyberninja by most people , also among the Darkness Clan they refer to him as Doragonsureiyā ( Dragon Slayer )

Reason for nickname: he is known as Cyberninja because any photos captured of him he is in his prototype armor . Now he is know as Doragonsureiyā by earning this name , because he killed Doragonrōdo ( Dragon Lord ) a general of the Darkness Clan thought to be the most powerful ninja alive .

Birth date: June 9th , 1999 Physical appearance

Age: usually i write him at 18 - 20

How old does he/she appear: 20 but appears to be 25

Weight: 235 lbs

Height: 6 foot 3 inches

Body build: extremely fit and athletic 

Shape of face: not round but not oval either sort of a middle ground normal face 

Eye color: blue , a deep blue like a ocean .

Glasses or contacts: neither

Skin tone: lightly tanned .

Distinguishing marks: X shaped scars across the front of his chest and a scar across his throat ( received from a very intense fight ) 

Predominant features: his dark blond hair and his deep blue eyes .

Hair color: dark blond ( almost black )

Type of hair: straight

Hairstyle: messy ( always looks like a good messy though . )

Voice: deep voice , amazing bass singer .

Overall attractiveness: 8/10

Physical disabilities: none 

Usual fashion of dress: usually blue jeans , with a tee shirt with ripped off sleeves , dog tags tucked under his shirt , tennis shoes , and a coat if its cold out .

Favorite outfit: white tee shirt with the sleeves torn off , blue jeans , and tennis shoes .

Jewelry or accessories: his dog tags ( never come off his neck ) Personality Good personality traits: loyal , caring , kind , brave , courageous , unselfish , and outgoing . Bad personality traits: usually very overprotective , hot headed , and can be clingy . Mood character is most often in: focused Sense of humor: can be a bit dry , but if you get him going he’ll loosen up . Character’s greatest joy in life: helping others Character’s greatest fear: losing those he cares about and being alone again Why? he has been alone most of his life to be outcast again into the cold darkness by himself . What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? a friend dying . it would send his mind into utter chaos . Character is most at ease when: he is around someone he trusts Most ill at ease when: he is worried about something , before he goes into a fight . Enraged when: hahahah . if your the wrong person just look at him wrong . Depressed or sad when: he is by himself Priorities: protect , regain his honor , and eventually settle down . Life philosophy: treat others as you want to be treated If granted one wish, it would be: to have his family back  Why? they were murdered when he was just a boy , didn’t even get to say goodbye . which has cause irreversible trauma to him . Character’s soft spot: just show him you care . Is this soft spot obvious to others? NO !! Greatest strength: his fighting skills and magic Greatest vulnerability or weakness: his short temper Biggest regret: long story short . he feels responsible for a civilian being murdered . Minor regret: not seizing the moments when he has the opportunity Biggest accomplishment: thats a tie between him becoming a master ninja , and building his prototype armor Minor accomplishment: ... quitting his addictions . Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: his drinking and drug problem he used to have Why? he is very ashamed of it Character’s darkest secret: his curse and demon  Does anyone else know? yes Goals Drives and motivations: his biggest goal is to eliminate the darkness clan and to eventually live out a normal life . Immediate goals: to become a better fighter everyday and maybe a little bit of a better person everyday .  Long term goals: to eventually settle down , rejoin his clan , maybe have a family ? How the character plans to accomplish these goals: four words . blood , sweat , and tears . How other characters will be affected: nobody knows what the future will hold . Past Hometown: New York ( to the best of his knowledge ) Type of childhood: his childhood was very dark and scaring . 5 is a very young age to be all grown up , but his situation called for it . Pets: his pet Koi fish ( given to him by the Grand-master ) and his pet Cerberus  First memory: falling asleep in his mothers arms Most important childhood memory: going fishing with his dad . Why: it was one of the only good memories he has of his childhood Childhood hero: ninjas ( needless to say he followed them quite well ) Dream job: N/A  Education: he registered education is 6th grade , but he is very smart . often when working he will do the math in his head rapidly often involving advanced calculus . Religion: none Finances: n/a

Present Current location: New York Currently living with: himself Pets: his pet koi which resides in Japan , and a pet Cerberus  Religion: none Occupation: assassin and master ninja Finances: well off Family Mother: deceased Relationship with her:N/A Father:deceased Relationship with him:N/A Siblings: brother Relationship with them:N/A ( still looking for him ) Spouse: none Relationship with him/her:N/A Children: none Relationship with them:N/A Other important family members: anyone he calls a friend . Favorites Color: Yellow Least favorite color:red Music:rap and country Food:fruits , vegetables , junk food , ECT ... Literature:spell books Form of entertainment:training Expressions:laughter Mode of transportation:car , motorcycle , feet , teleportation . Most prized possession:picture of his family  . ( touching it is a good way to loose some fingers ) Habits Hobbies: smithing Plays a musical instrument? guitar Plays a sport? no How he/she would spend a rainy day: training , inventing , sharpening his weapons , patrol . Spending habits: weapons Smokes: has quit Drinks:has quit Other drugs:has quit What does he/she do too much of? training What does he/she do too little of?resting Extremely skilled at:combat  Extremely unskilled at:expressing any form of emotion Nervous tics: none ( he is trained to hide these ) Usual body posture:tall , informal , and downright intimidating . Mannerisms: very polite Peculiarities: extremely secretive Traits Optimist or pessimist?optimist Introvert or extrovert?extrovert Daredevil or cautious?daredevil Logical or emotional?can be both Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?methodical and neat Prefers working or relaxing?working Confident or unsure of himself/herself?unsure Animal lover?YES Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: the his not good enough , he doesn’t deserve  One word the character would use to describe self: secretive One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: ( character speaking ) “ well i try my hardest but a lot of times i feel like i am not good enough , i know i could be better and i have a whole world that doesn’t even know that i am protecting . maybe one day this will all finally end . What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? kindness What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait?temper What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic?muscles , if you can sneak up on him on a good day you might caught him flexing in front of the mirror . What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? the scars scattered across his body . How does the character think others perceive him/her: hot tempered , probably hated , reclusive , untrustworthy . What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: his life Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: he knows the world can harsh and cruel but ha also has seen a lot of good in it also . Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? not really , most of the time he is quite blunt . Person character most hates: himself Best friend(s): Dove ( @beyondthetemples ) , Red ( @champofpallet ) . Love interest(s): Dove Person character goes to for advice: his adopted father or his brother .  Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Dove Person character feels shy or awkward around: not anyone , most of the time . Person character openly admires: N/A Person character secretly admires: Dove Most important person in character’s life before story starts: his brother After story starts: his adopted family and all his friends

found here

tagged by : @beyondthetemples

tagging : @champofpallet , @tameradabsol , @sky-mxxn and anyone else who want to do it .

[distractedhistotech]

Ghost +1

Sydney was in the back of the van.  She preferred it back there since she could move around more.  Plus it felt weird staring out the window since losing her eye. She guessed it was the loss of depth perception.  She was still learning how to gauge distance.

“So, that was kind of lame.  Why did they think that guy was a ghost anyway?” asked Sydney as she tried to contact juggle some balls they had and dropped them all over the place.  “He didn’t even put a lot of effort into his costume.”

“They were really superstitious,” said Arthur.  “Only a few steps from being a cult when you think about it.  They decide that anything strange has to have a supernatural or spiritual cause.  Don’t even think there’s a scientific explanation because why couldn’t it be something that proves they’re right.”

“Arthur, you’re starting to ramble,” interrupted Vivi.

Arthur blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. They were a bit…extreme,” admitted Vivi. “I can see why it would upset you.”

Mystery decided this was a good reason to lay his head on Arthur’s lap.  Sydney then flung her arms around him.  “Yeah!  I thought they were creepy too!”

“Sydney!  I’m driving!”

“Pretty sure they thought I was an idiot,” continued Sydney.  “I mean that tone they used with me was just insulting!  Just because I’m missing an eye doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! Lots of people are missing parts and are smart!  I’m not a pirate!”  Sydney paused.  “Actually, there were some pretty intelligent pirates.  I don’t know where I was going with that.  I seem to come back to pirates a lot lately.  I know why I do, but it’s getting kind of old.  I need to find something else to obsess with when I get riled up.”

“You could go back to talking about comics,” suggested Vivi.

Sydney sighed. “Yeah, I miss that…Why do I have so much trouble bringing comics up nowadays?  It used to be second nature, but now I have to focus to talk about them. Even though I still love comics. It doesn’t make sense.  Is this part of growing up?  Part of recovering from a traumatic event?  Both?  It feels like something’s wrong.  But isn’t that normal now?”  Sydney rested her forehead on the back of Arthur’s head, not noticing how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.  “Do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. He’d felt like it since he woke up in a hospital missing an arm, missing a friend, missing memories, missing so much… “I don’t think it’s gonna go away.” Mystery let out a whine and licked one of Sydney’s hands.

Vivi looked between the two as the mood quickly started to darken.  God, she just wanted her two friends to be happy like they used to be. She needed to find a way to change the subject and make them smile.  “Why don’t we pick up a couple of pizzas or something and then watch a couple of hours of Star Trek or Star Wars or Captain America?”

Arthur caught on to what she was trying to do and smiled.  “That would be nice.  It’s been a while since we hung out.”  He frowned. “That’s my fault.”  He’d been busy looking for Lewis.  He was trying not to ignore his remaining friends, but it was hard when he wanted to find the other one and mentioning him did…something to them.

“What the heck are you working on anyway?” asked Sydney.  “You’re not usually this secretive.  You’re not trying to make a mechanical eye again, are you?”

“No!...Not usually anyway,” admitted Arthur.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” said Vivi.  “I don’t think we can buy another eye if something else goes wrong.  We need an alternative method.”

Sydney shuddered. “Okay, point taken.  Being blind sucked.  I don’t know how someone can live with that for a lifetime. Especially if you’re born like that! Can you imagine never knowing colors? And I bet light doesn’t make a lot of sense either.  And you can’t play videogames!”

“Can’t work on cars or fabricate parts,” continued Arthur.

“Probably can’t paint either,” mused Vivi.  “Unless the various colors smelled different from one another.”

Sydney wrinkled her nose.  “Is-Is that a thing?  And I don’t mean synesthesia!  Can blind people have synesthesia?  Or deaf people?  Or anyone missing one sense?”

“What if sounds are linked to smell instead?” suggested Arthur.

“Can that happen?”

“Dunno.  Maybe.”

“Pigments are just a type of chemical compound, so it would make sense for them to have a scent,” said Vivi, keeping the conversation from veering off in a completely different direction for once.

“Depends on the chemical.  Some don’t have a scent, or at least the scent is too faint for humans to pick up on,” explained Arthur.

“I dunno, I swear I was smelling more right before you fixed my eye,” argued Sydney.

“It’s not quite the same thing.  When you lose a sense you pay more attention to the ones that are left, like reassigning roles.  We get the most information from sight, so when someone loses their sense of sight they pay a lot more attention to little things that they didn’t even realize they were ignoring.  Also, I think there’s some neuroplasticity involved.  Your brain isn’t using the part that used to be for putting together what your eyes saw, so it starts using it for other things over time.” Arthur was silent for a moment. “Um.  But you, uh, would know better than me, given, you know.  Sorry, I got a little too into the science papers I’ve been reading.”

Sydney smiled and shrugged.  “It’s fine. I think it’s pretty interesting, even if I don’t understand all of it.”  She tapped her eyepatch.  “Does losing an eye affect how much of my brain it uses?”

“Just one?  I’m not sure.  You are seeing less…”

“Can you still smell and hear more than you’re used to?” asked Vivi.

Sydney shrugged. “Dunno.  I don’t think so.  Was kind of distracted at the time.  Plus, everything looked different when I could see again.”

Vivi huffed. “It is just so unfair.  How is it that my abilities still haven’t manifested but my half of the eye lets you see spirits?”

“It is really strange,” agreed Sydney.

“Maybe it’s because your abilities are already active,” suggested Arthur.  “And you do have some control over ‘em.”

Vivi hummed in thought.  “That might be it.  There are still so many unknowns…”

“Hey, I don’t care how as long as no one else has to go blind,” said Sydney.  “Besides, I’m sure something will wake you up eventually.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m like 40 when it finally happens?” complained Vivi.  “Heck, if I have kids by then, they might have gotten their power before me…”

Arthur winced. “Do you want kids?”

Vivi nodded. “Of course!  One, maybe two.  I just have to find the right guy,” she said, giving Arthur a significant glance.

Arthur missed said glance entirely as he was distracted by thoughts of what could have been. Sydney was blind on that side. The only one to notice was Mystery, who huffed.  Why did life have to be so difficult for these kids?  The last time he’d had charges this prone to trouble…

It hadn’t ended well. Mystery would rather not dwell on the depressing memories.

Vivi realized her hint had gone over their heads yet again and decided to just move on.  “Do you guys want kids?”

“I want one!  So there can be a Sydney Scoville III!” proclaimed Sydney.  “But just one.  Don’t think I could handle more than that.”

Arthur was silent. Lewis wanted kids.  He’d be an amazing father with how well he handled his sisters.  “I dunno if I want children.  I don’t want to pass on any of my issues.”

Vivi and Sydney both frowned at Arthur’s reasoning.  “Most of your issues are due to your early upbringing,” pointed out Vivi. “You wouldn’t make those same choices and mistakes.  That would prevent most of those issues from happening.”

“They could still pick up the behavior from me,” argued Arthur.  “There’s only so much that I can change.”

“I don’t think you need to change,” said Sydney.  “I mean, yeah, you’ve got anxiety issues, but lots of people do.  You’re also smart and nice and help people and have cool hair and stro-”

“What if I attract something dangerous?” interrupted Arthur.

“Then I’ll just keep living nearby,” reasoned Sydney.  She’d live with him if he asked.  “I mean, I don’t see why I would leave Tempo.”

“Me either. Tempo is our home,” agreed Vivi. She placed a hand on Arthur’s flesh and blood hand.  “We’re stuck with each other.  For life.”

Arthur felt himself cheer up a bit at that.  He gave Vivi a smile and tried to give Sydney one as best he could.  Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to stay close to his friends.

And then the dashboard started to spark.  Arthur’s eyes widened.  “What?! No, no, no…”  He stomped on the gas several times but failed to pick up speed.

Vivi frowned. “Is something wrong with the van?”

“There shouldn’t be! I just performed maintenance on it!”

Sydney raised an eyebrow.  “Am I the only one who thinks the purple sparks were weird?”

Arthur blinked. “Purple?”

Sydney nodded. “Yeah, I was staring right at the dashboard.”  The high beam light looked like a jellyfish.  “Definitely purple.”

“That is not a thing that should happen!” shouted Arthur.

Vivi nodded. “Electricity’s supposed to just be white, which suggests this isn’t normal.”  The van came to a stop right in front of…Vivi blinked several times.  “A dancing mansion?”

Okay, it wasn’t actually dancing.  However, it was sort of pulsing/bopping to a beat that one could fell in their bones. It was noticeably run down and purple and had eerie lights in the windows.

“There’s no way that’s not haunted,” deadpanned Sydney.

“Erm…”  Arthur tried turning over the car again.  “We don’t, have to investigate, do we?”

Vivi thought of what happened last time they’d jumped into an investigation without any preparation.

Blood. Hospitals.  Loss.  Guilt.

“If you can get the van started, we’re leaving,” said Vivi.  “Sydney, you’re not wearing your suppressor?”

Sydney shook her head. “Still practicing controlling it on my own.”

“Good.  Don’t reign it in.”

Mystery just stared at the mansion.  He recognized its aura.  He could barely believe it.

When did Lewis come back and what did he have planned? 

Lewis was planning to exact his revenge.  The plan had been simple:  Create a mansion on a road that they often traveled along near Tempo (He couldn’t get into Tempo, but that could be because of some of the wards Vivi had tried setting up.), lure the Mystery Skulls (especially Arthur) into the mansion, separate them, bring Arthur to his location, kill Arthur, and reunite with the girls and Mystery, with possible minor changes as were needed.  He was also open to making Arthur confess what happened to the girls (They must not have seen what happened to just go along with him.) before killing him.

The plan started to unravel as soon as the van came to a stop in front of his mansion.  Part of that was because instead of rushing into the mansion on the heels of Vivi like he was expecting, they stayed in the van. And stayed.  A lot longer than he recalled them ever doing so when he was alive.

Part of it was indirectly Sydney’s fault.  He’d known that her aura was potent against malevolent spirits and the like, but he hadn’t really appreciated it until he felt it pressing down on him.  From all the way outside.  He found himself rubbing his temples.  Ow.  No wonder the nastier spirits went out of their way to avoid her.  He was actually leaking some energy.  He could last for some time as long as he was careful, but theoretically, they could just stay in the van until he was too drained to keep them here.  If they tried that, he’d have to go out and confront them.  Not something he wanted to do, but if it became necessary…

Lewis wondered why he was being affected in the first place.  He wasn’t evil…Well, okay, he did want to kill Arthur.  That was justified, but maybe it was gray enough for Sydney’s ability to categorize him as malevolent.  If that was the case, then it would probably stop after he killed Arthur and no longer had any desire to hurt someone.

Lewis was dragged from his musings as several figures started exiting the van.  Finally!  Lewis quickly started setting up the finishing touches of his plan.

It was time to end this. 

Arthur had to admit defeat.  “I’ll need to look under the hood, and I don’t want to do that in front of a haunted mansion.”  He sighed. “I don’t wanna go inside either.”

Sydney had been staring at the mansion the whole time.  She could see the music.  And anger. This eye was so weird.  “I think you’d be okay.  Pretty sure my aura will reach that far.”

Mystery could confirm that her aura did extend that far and would retain enough potency to be effective. Not that he could tell them, but it was certainly a weight off his shoulders.

Vivi started handing out various items for protection and fighting.  “It’s a tough choice.  Stay out here alone but relatively safe or go inside with us to stay close to Sydney and me.”

Arthur groaned. If he was less worried about the girls’ safety he would stay outside, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he let them go inside that he would never see them again.  It had happened before.  Even if he couldn’t do anything to protect them, he could draw fire away from them.

“I think I’ll go with you guys,” Arthur decided.

Sydney and Vivi studied him for a moment before Sydney suddenly bit her thumb and smeared some blood in the center of his forehead.  “Just in case.”

Arthur instinctively looked up with crossed eyes for a moment.  “Uh.  Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

“It should. There is power in blood,” said Vivi as she gave him some holy water and slipped a beaded necklace over his head and under his shirt.  “We can try practicing making protective symbols with it too.”

Sydney chuckled. “Like an anime.”  She nodded.  “Anything that you think will help.”

Arthur fought down the urge to wipe at the blood on his forehead.  “Can I just say that I don’t like having other people’s blood on me?” It brought back bad memories.

Sydney winced. “Oh.  Sorry.  Should’ve asked first, shouldn’t I?”

Arthur took a deep breath.  “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.  You said it might help so it’s something to try.”  The blood itched on his forehead.  “But I am totally scrubbing it off when we get out of here.”

Vivi nodded. “Sounds like a decent enough compromise.”  She handed an ofuda to Sydney.  Sydney smeared some more blood on the back of it.  “I don’t want either of you getting hurt again.  You’re just starting to get back to where you were before.”

That made both of them wince.  The last few months of learning to live with new handicaps had been difficult and frustrating in several ways.  They didn’t want a repeat with themselves or Vivi or Mystery.

All four of them silently vowed to protect the others.

The walk up to the mansion’s front door took just a few seconds.  Vivi knocked on the doors (She was concerned that the inhabitants would be excited by Arthur knocking and see Sydney knocking as a declaration of war.), which creaked open ominously.  The inched in, the doors slamming shut behind them.

The darkness didn’t last long enough for them to pull out flashlights.  Several purple wisps of fire floated by and lit candles lined along the walls and set on a chandelier.

Vivi absently noted that the layout kind of reminded her of the Spencer mansion, except a lot more purple.

“Sydney, stop humming.”

“Oops.  Didn’t notice-”

Several purple ghosts suddenly popped up.  “Who-o-o-o-oa!”

Most of the group immediately tensed up.  Vivi didn’t immediately though.  “Cute!”

They really were adorable…until more popped up behind them.  “This time I might just disa-Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa!”  They suddenly got pointy toothed with claws. “Oh yeah!”

Nope.  They took off running down the hallway through break in the ghosts.

“This time I might just disappear!”

A suit of armor suddenly lunged towards them and swung an ax.  Sydney and Vivi dove under the ax.  Arthur vaulted over it.  Mystery barely dodged it, having to use his kitsune magic to retract his head into his body.

“Gah!”

“Mystery!”

“)%$*&$^#$(%^)*%(&%*&$&!”

Mystery popped his head back out before any uncomfortable questions could be asked.

“Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa…”

They abruptly realized that the paintings lining the hall were moving.  They suddenly leapt out.  “Oh yeah!”

The Mystery Skulls leapt into each other’s arms.  Thankfully, the portrait spirits pulled back into the paintings.  “Who-o-o-o-oa…”  And then the lady painting reached out and pulled a rope next to her painting.

A trapdoor opened under them.  They fell down screaming, and things became bizarre, even by their standards.  They weren’t falling as quickly as they should be. It was more like they were floating.  Not to mention there were several random items in the space with them.  A few hours later, they would comment on how it was oddly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

They floated past several mirrors.  Vivi was a bit confused by the fact that her reflection had completely purple eyes. From what Mystery could see in his cracked mirror they could see past glamours.  Arthur was facing away from the mirrors so he didn’t see that they failed to reflect his prosthetic.  Sydney did faintly notice this but was a bit distracted by how her reflection showed her right after her injury with her remaining eye leaking various colors from it.

Then Arthur’s fall suddenly sped up.  Vivi and Sydney made to grab him, but just missed him.  Then they noticed Sydney was falling even slower and tried to grab each other, but it was too late again.

Sydney let out an ‘oof’ and shot to her feet as she landed.  “I’m armed!” she shouted, brandishing the ofuda.  She turned around.  There were a bunch of boxes, a dusty bed with no covers, and… a mannequin in a wedding dress and holding an ax?  Sydney thought she was in the basement until she noticed some windows that she ran over to.  She felt her brain short circuit.  “How the *&^*) do you fall down into the attic?!”

Vivi and Mystery had landed in a kitchen where a pair of dagwood sandwiches were laid out on the center counter.  The two stared at them for several moments but managed to pull themselves away. “Right.  Separated…We should look for Arthur first.  Sydney can take care of herself in this sort of situation.” Her stomach growled.  Mystery’s growled even louder.  “…I wonder if it would be safe to grab a few pieces.”

Arthur landed on his ass in what was probably the basement.  He absentmindedly glanced upward in confusion (How did that work? Ghost logic was so weird.) before zeroing in on a large coffin with a skull and thorny vine design on the top of the lid.  It was beating like the rest of the house.

Not good.

The coffin slowly opened, revealing a jawless skull floating above a large body in a nice suit.

Lewis narrowed his eye sockets as he floated out and slammed his feet in front of Arthur.  He glared at his murderer, full of hate and anger.

Arthur stared in fear, unable to recognize his dead friend.  All he saw was a scary, probably powerful, likely dangerous ghost that had separated him from his friends.

Lewis broke the silence by pointing a finger at Arthur.  “Fuck, it’s you I hate the most.”

Arthur gulped and pointed at himself.  “Buh-buh-Why?”

It was a reasonable question from Arthur’s point of view.  Lewis…it did occur to him that he wasn’t as recognizable without his face.  He lit the braziers and let his hair form. “Does this answer your question?!”

No, it didn’t, but Arthur decided he wasn’t going to explain that this was a case of mistaken identity to a ghost that probably wasn’t going to listen.  He threw the vial of holy water, turned on his heel, and ran.

Lewis did recoil a bit at the holy water.  He was a fire ghost.  Water stung even if it wasn’t holy.  Then he threw it off, decided this was proof of Arthur’s guilt, and gave chase.

Arthur was in good shape (He didn’t understand how he was still so healthy when he’d been hospitalized and locked in his workroom so much for the last few months.) and used to running from scary things.  He glanced behind him and saw the ghost practically flying towards him.  No more glancing back.  He put on a burst of speed.

Oh, hey, Vivi and Mystery.  “Angry ghost! Run!”

Vivi and Mystery looked away from the sandwiches they were still debating eating.  They looked in the direction Arthur came from, threw the sandwiches at the angry ghost, and ran after Arthur.  Lewis didn’t bother trying to avoid the sandwich contents and flew right through them.

“We need to find Sydney!” shouted Vivi.

“Where is she?!” shouted Arthur.

“I don’t know!”

Mystery could feel that Sydney had ended up in the attic and was managing to work her way down. He pulled ahead and ran up some stairs, Arthur and Vivi close behind him.  They ran through a bunch of doors and rooms.

Sydney heard the racket and threw open the door of the room she’d wandered into.  “Angry Elvis ghost!”

That threw Lewis for a loop.  “Elvis? Are you kid-”  He saw the eyepatch.  “What happened to your-”

Sydney threw an ofuda at him.  Lewis yelped and pulled it off.  That hurt!

“You stay away from Arthur!” demanded Sydney.

That hurt almost as much as the ofuda.  “You don’t get it.  He-”

Vivi darted back and grabbed Sydney.  “What’re you waiting for?!”  She then dragged Sydney off.

Okay, Vivi and Sydney didn’t know about his murder.  Somehow. Maybe it was post traumatic amnesia or something.  Clearly, this needed to be remedied.  Also, why was Sydney wearing an eyepatch?  She wasn’t wearing an eyepatch for the heck of it.  There’d been scars peeking out.  He gave chase, now equally intent on telling Vivi and Sydney what happened along with killing Arthur.

He threw fire to keep Arthur from moving down a hallway.  Arthur turned and stared at him fearfully.  Lewis felt his desire for vengeance clawing up his heart.

And then Vivi and Sydney put themselves between them, Vivi with her arms outstretched as if to shield Arthur as much as possible, Sydney with her hands up as if she was prepared to fight him.

This was wrong. Vivi and Sydney were supposed to be on his side.  He wasn’t the enemy!  He just needed…Maybe…Yes.  That would work.  He willed his anchor towards them.

They just needed to see the proof of who he was, that they knew him.

The flames died down. Arthur was certain he knew the way to the front door from this spot.  He grabbed Vivi and Sydney and booked it.

Vivi and Sydney glanced back once.

Mystery made sure to take up the rear.

Lewis stared in disbelief and heartbreak as his murderer and the love(s?) of his life and (more than) best friend.

And his anchor fell and broke.

And Lewis switched to frustration and anger and despair and why did this happen to him?! Why why why?!

He screamed, pouring his everything into it as his fire erupted around him.

The living Mystery Skulls barely made it through the doors in time to avoid being burned alive. Mystery might have had something to do with it.  They rushed to the van.  “Go go go!”

Arthur revved the van. It started.  “I’m going!”

They peeled out of there.

None of them saw the figure watching them from one of the high windows.  Lewis watched as the van drove away.  He pressed down on his cracked anchor and looked at the picture inside.

It was from shortly after he and Vivi started dating.  He had an arm around Vivi, who was hugging him.  Sydney had an arm thrown over his shoulder while he used his free arm to support her.  No Arthur. The three of them were smiling and happy and whole and alive.

They could never go back to that.

Lewis barely noticed the tear running down his face as he finally passed out and returned to his anchor, the house fading around him.

[bedlamgames]

Q&A #94

Today we have various forms of removal, the new biomancy assignment, and corruption among others.

nh-maikochan said: Regarding the bimbo slave not being sold: Yes she did have bimboborn. Also, I think I may have sent a message like this before and have totally forgotten. If this is just a repeat, feel free to ignore it. 

Thanks that really did help solve the issue. Should be sorted now as of the current update. 

doof-ex-machina said: Hello! Could I ask some question about one particular problem I'm facing playing No Haven? The thing is, when I try to save a game and then load it, all the names of slavers and slaves in the boxes disappear, and that's just 'Slaver 1', 'Slaver 2' and so on that are visible in Inventory, Visible Characters and Room Objects boxes. I tried all the versions of RAGS available but none of them helped to solve the problem.

That’s a RAGS issue. Make sure you’re saving only when it is safe as detailed at the beginning of the game. Other than that if you finish day the names should update back to normal. 

Anonymous said: I cannot for the life of me figure out how to remove someone from a current role in the camp on No Haven.... would you be willing to tell me? I am probably missing it because it's stupid simple.

No problems. Same way as setting them to the role so Right click > Talk to > Assign to an Encampment Position > -None-.

There’s a couple of positions like second-in-command where slavers will resist giving up power and for them you’ll have to use more nefarious methods. 

Anonymous said: [NH 0.821] Bug / suggestion: My slaver has Dolled Up, and a ton of other corruptions, which is great, but the description is weird. Due to DU, it describers my slaver as having "dark crimson rubber skin[...]" and then "have eyes[...]covered up entirely", but the very next line describes my ponytail. Hair on red rubber is a weird mental image. Might I suggest that DU simply makes the skin rubbery rather than changing the color? That, and not replace the eyes? I miss my heterochromia. Thank you!

It is corrupted rubber of perversion and evil so is capable of having holes for hair :)

Also one of the risks with corruption is you can very much lose as well as win such is the risks of flirting with depravity for power be it traits, arms, or even your nice eyes. 

Anonymous said: [no haven 0.843] so I tried to do basic bimbo training with a slave that had advanced obedience, selected 2 slavers and noticed it needed 3 so I clicked on slavers and then it began the assignment blocking the slave slot but not starting the assignment AND removing the slave permanently, seems like it is also overflowing because I'm getting "not enough to defend the encampment" while I have 6 out of 8 slavers in the camp.

Thanks for letting me know and will sort it for the next update.

Anonymous said: Love the new update, though I have several questions. A: How does one start the quest to gain better Biomancy? B: Say I had a Second-in-command who was set as my characters former owner. This seems to give the character massive bonuses to respect checks. My character has Dominator and Thrallforge, but I still cant succeed Dominating to get him to go nude, etc. Is it currently possible to succeed at such a check? C: Is there currently no way to force a 2nd out of their role via the respect check system? Surely we should be able to dominate or trigger them into giving up the post? D: On a related note, why is there no option to dominate when trying to force a merc to join the camp? E: Is there some kind of block preventing me from shrinking an Amazon Futanari's cock with Biomancy? I tried dozens of times, and never had any results. Anyway, thats all I can think of for now. Look forward to your answers. If I remember more Ill ask. Again, love the game and update! 

The new assignment that will start the biomancy chain begins in the City of Aversol. It's a rare assignment, can be done by anyone with or without biomancy, and like bred to be broken you need a certain amount of gold in the stash to find it.

Theoretically I think? It’s going to be a long shot though unless you can mess with them like making them a bimbo through corruption or send them off on quick as you like.

Not currently. Will think about it. 

Dominating is a short term will overwhelm so once it’s done the merc would just be unhappy and leave.

Futanari for plot related reasons which I swear I’ll get to eventually can’t have their cocks shrunk by biomancy.

Anonymous said: Since we already have Recruiter customization options for brother/sister, any chance we'll see father/mother or son/daughter added as options? I'd love to see that feature expanded on in general, especially if it adds more options for incest.

I’ll think about it. Not super into incest as it is, and the parental versions even less so. Saying that next update will have some implication in regard to one of the assignments so it’s possible as long as it’s not that much of a focus.

madron-fc said: Had the following happen to me in 0.843 of NoHaven, not sure if it is intended behaviour: I went on the Mountains asignment to catch the male drow after which I did get the request to fullfill. After doing some training on the new slave, I realised that the opportunity was no longer listed amon the asignments. I thought it might have just timed out without me noticing, but way later into that same game I got a notice for that very opportunity to soon time out. my guess is that when I completetd the advanced Sissy Training and the Slave changed name, the asignment disappears, but I do not have a save of that time so I cannot test this.

Huh, okay. That opportunity is timed in regard to expiry, but that does sound off. Will check, thank you. 

And now some more from outside of the tumblr:

From Hypnopics: Is the demi Angel commission added to the game?

If you mean the four-winged Truly Divine one then that commission is being used for an assignment next update.

From Hypnopics: This game really needs a way to quickly and easily dismiss slavers and slaves you don't want. You should be able to immediately sell slaves taken as loot, even if only for 15-20 gold and able to R. click - dismiss slaves and slavers. I keep hitting a wall with content blocked because i have too many mediocre slaves/ slavers.

Update following the next one is going to be about having a more reliable way of freeing slaves than sending them to the whore makers. Slavers I always wanted to be one of your challenges to manage with more events coming involving them working to undermine your authority which is why you're limited to assignments like Sudden Betrayal. Saying that there likely will be more options to manipulate their morale/reputation to get them to bugger off coming in future. I'm also planning to introduce slave mines/farms/temples where you'll be able to parcel off a whole number of slaves and slavers at once for an ongoing bonus and the occasional choice/assignments to keep them going.

From TFGames: Loving the new update so far. I was playing with the slave mantras and really liking them, but had something happen. Had gotten two mantras on one slave, Obedience, which had fully embedded, and Sissy, which was at the advanced stage. I was planning on adding some more later, but wanted to finish his proper training first. I ended up getting a crit on Advanced Obedience training and giving him the Obedient trait (there's too many uses of the word Obedient in this paragraph). After that, I couldn't select him for hypnosis. I suspect because of the Obedient trait, it thinks that he has the Denial mantra embedded (which also gives the trait and blocks other mantras). Also, I haven't tried yet, but does the Bimbo mantra block Bimbo training? I had a couple odd situations in the previous version where traits gained outside of training blocked those associated trainings. Two main examples: Had a slave escape, recaptured with a crit, then escaped and recaptured with a crit again, giving them Obedient. However I couldn't do Advanced Obedience Training with them any more. Second was had a slave at Basic Sissy training stage and they got the Pretty Maid corruption result, switching them to the Sissy gender, but also blocking the Advanced Sissy training option. No I know these might be redundant, but the trainings alone add value to the slave, but then getting traits with shortcuts or luck could be a balancing factor, so it might be intentional. Anyway, this was in the last version so it might not be in the current one.

Those are both connected issues and kind of working as intended. If you get what the training/hypnosis is basically trying to achieve then that training/hypnosis becomes no longer available. Think about it as having different paths to the same result. Does mean that you don't get the same value bonuses, but I think I'm okay with that as it reflects how long you spent perfecting the slave and keeps them from being quite so similar in the long run. I do agree though that this can feel off and I'm open to other takes on this as it's feedback I've heard a few times now.

From TFGames: I voted Lamia because I feel like keeping track of all your slavers and all their traits is exhausting and starting with one fewer gives you a bit of time to get familiar with them before adding more.

There's also elitist and proactive under the full custom options if you want to start with less slavers. If you want to go full minimalist there's also the golem scenario where you start with only three slavers.

(This is in regard to the current poll running on the TFGames discussion thread)

From TFGames: Hello, I just spent about 20 hours playing this awesome game for the past 3 days!! It made me insane. I especially loved exploring the limits of corruption and biomancy. There is a lot of content with cum consumption, which is pretty cool =). There's one thing I didn't get: how to raise the encampment leader's tolerance for highly rated armors and clothes? I could wear a 55 rated item at most, but that's it. Oh and also, can the encampment leader get corrupted to the point of getting Babydoll? Or is that just for other players? I managed to inflict Babydoll on two slaves, but never on myself. Anyway, this game is awesome =D. Thank you for doing this.

Thank you, I'm glad you've been enjoying it! The clothing limit is in place to prevent you completely fucking your ability to lead by putting yourself in bondage. Then now the takeover options are included I may just remove it so you can see how long you can last while being in an armbinder and the like   Babydoll for now is limited to others. Will possibly change this again given the takeover options as such a naive and gullible leader is also not going to last long at all. Though for that I'd want to include more personalization for the player to properly reflect that corruption. 

[fmab]

Heres my fullmetal alchemist Undertale AU ideas........ its rlly long so im putting it under a readmore

Disclaimer this isnt a direct parallel and plot to the real ass undertale 😂ok here we go ! 

In this AU Alphonse plays a similar role to Asriel, he’s missing his body and dealing with having the power to reset things, and not being able to stop and get back to normal, etc. Ed is a human child who fell down into the underground. Its not really Known to anyone (except Al and Truth) But Ed is a reincarnation of Hohenheim's and Trisha's son who died ages ago in an accident from a failed experiment by the royal scientists and the king to destroy the barrier. 

Human Ed basically has like very little recollection of who he was before beyond a few memories that he thinks were just dreams, and Trisha and Hohenheim make the visual connection but dont realize he's Literally their son. 

I think ed probably fell into the underground at a really young age and was raised by Trisha for a couple of years in the ruins, before she fell ill and died. After that had to go into the underground to try to survive. Of course everyone in the underground is hostile toward humans because Hohenheim is now resorting to collecting 7 human souls to open the barrier now.

These are more direct paralells but Nina is monster kid and Olivier is in undyne’s role. 

Truth is probably a byproduct produced by the accident that killed the original Ed and caused Al to lose his body. The accident was a huge magic related thing and there were damages to buildings and other casualties. So truth is sort of a Flowey situation but obviously a lot different and it has different motivations than Flowey. Its an entity thats a combination of a lot of different souls from all sorts of places and times and from humans and monsters alike. Its probably controlling a lot of things from behind the scenes, but out of curiousity and apathy than chaos

Greed has some mettaton indulgence going on; He goes thru several different forms/incarnations and is very obsessed with being “powerful” and popular through his reputation! Later on, since he and Ling both want power and influence they get a cool robot body that like. Houses both of their souls for a temporary time.

Speaking of Ling, he and Mei are two monster siblings who moved to Snowdin to start a new life. Lan Fan is the type of monster shyren is but has a similar role to napstablook? (paralleling how blooky stayed at the farm while mtt left to like get a chance at his dreams) and she kinda looks after Ling from afar and encourages him

Izumi is a former royal scientist involved with similar stuff alphys was involved in(experiments with determination) and she's very private about that and regrets it deeply, but doesn’t isolate to Alphys’s extent. Winry is a mechanic and Izumi’s apprentice studying robotics and how to maintain the core.

Olivier is a royal guard and like i said she plays the role undyne does: determined to take ed into custody even if it means he’ll die so that monsterkind can leave the ruins and humans can pay for what they did to them. Ed slowly changes her mind thru kindness. 

As for scar I want him to be in this but theres not many places he would fit in with the narrative he has in the actual fma story. Because of that he’s going to be having a much better time than in canon...... like. His family and people are alive, and mb he’s trying to work Against the royal guards and the use of human souls to open the barrier because its pretty fucked up. Perhaphs his brother does some research on an alternate method to break the barrier without having to sacrifice so many

I havent exactly thought how roy and riza will fit into this au but im guessing they wont have like super duper prominent roles..? maybe they might though, and if so they’d be other bosses ed would fight and eventually befriend. 

[scentedbirdavenue]

I love more than I can manage and yes I tend to not know the features to manage something is there on most and I learn over time.... but I've paid the premium and its just not as much as I thought. But I mean I don't want to cancel services but maybe I can figure out the terminal and put in new code that would program the app to do some of the things I believe premium should already have had. ....oh I know I already give 110% due to the fact I put in the 100% the 10% is premium so of course ill do anything to make this work to the standards/expectations of my needs, wants, desires. Mostly emotionally. Half physically but mainly soul heartedly as was mentioned when I decided to buy the product and immediately purchased the premium version it had this feature where souls knew they were the same inside completely i mean like not two separate personality traits of one soul. Two bodies was the only way the body could handle soul so in the world the same soul casted on two bodies that were completely opposite in every way u can think of. Two bodies that paths of crossing were almost slim to none if their wasn't quite a few tragic moments of their lives that had no choice but to alter or they wouldn't of been able to move on. But see thats the thing..... I seem to have paid to soon bc I don't get the same effort into this version and the percentage I effortlessly give and then the times that I feel so drained emotionally due to lack of appreciation by the app developer so I put effort into making the app programs to add into the main premium and still the server seems blocked or program code is somewhere bugged and I am just worried that I won't get anything that I have put in more than I expected and I don't want to regret even being interested ever. Cuz it will take a lot of rebuild of a new app of a version of myself and most of my greatest work is in the premium app its nearly impossible well basically isn't the first original work due to having to remember the best programming methods but if I can recall the only reason they were so darn perfect is bc I gave my 110% I took in the app so close to my heart and found the missing links to the inner me. If the app crashes that part won't be there to lift me up bc its hard to figure out and its hard to be a version of yourself u wanna be and even harder when the main program the amazing app that keeps failing to understand the codes I put into it. Its gonna crash if I keep putting in the wrong languages it will never understand probably overload and eventually crash. I guess I should go ahead and prepare by taking the best parts of the program codes that linked so well with mine. And maybe I can link a version of myself that will be a soul thats not dead inside. Bc boring apps or wacky weird version of a myself app would definitely be depressing and finding someone to even download me would hardly ever be a download once used or tried for a few minutes.

So I will now get back to working on that.

While its not crashed still cherish the part that made me love it to get premium version

At the same time pull the coding from the programs created perfectly while linking into app.

Make sure that u did all possible before any mistakes are made such as emergency wipe of all data everywhere inside the app and maybe anywhere other.

Mistakes such as bad code u felt wouldn't help in ling run even tho it had interesting codes that stood out.

Make sure all spam is filtered throughout the entire premium app as well as my code for the programs too. Virus on cpu is Hella bad and that is just like tainting the app forever u can't fully ever get the virus out at some point it will be back or was never fully erased from cpu.

Pray for me guys.

[acevity]

Dunno if you got my previous ask but ill resend. Would you recommend a breeder, adoption or store parakeet and which of them would be easier to hand tame (if you know). Just worried that if I get a new bird my current one will not get along with it.

thanks for resending bc i didnt get the precious ask RIP

anyway, im no bird expert but i do watch a HELL of a lot of bird videos so ill give my own personal opinion yo! also im gonna post this publicly just in case someone else wants some info, and im putting it under a cut bc this is gonna be LONG LMAO

in order of recommendation, i’d say adoption, then breeder, then store. adoption is always a good go-to in my eyes, and usually is my first option. there are plenty of little birdies whom need a second chance. they may require more work (getting them to warm up to you due to past abuse etc etc) but its definitely worth it to see the difference! tbh my bird is considered a rescue bc we kinda took him in during the winter when he escaped his original owner’s house (whom we dont know). in the beginning he was mean and would bite and act very aggressive, but he eventually became so?? sweet??? he would kiss me and everything (hes currently reverting back to being aggressive but im attempting to earn his trust back and find out what is causing this issue. it may be his new cage :0)

if adoption isnt available or something, definitely go with a breeder. you will be able to know specifics about the bird and it’s temperament and health and all that. i think they are typically more expensive, but thats to be expected. not to mention that most breeders will probably have hand tamed the bird or at least has the bird more used to human contact and breeders are typically required to have the parakeets banded in order to track them. these bands come with key information such as age, breeder identification, bird identification, etc etc. so yes, breeders are highly recommended over store bought.

speaking of store bought, these budgies are often victim to being bought on a whim by parents whom know nothing about birds but want their child to stop whining about wanting a pet. if youve been to a pet store that sells budgies, youll notice that theres a lot of them in a very small space. this is.. not that good for the little birds and means diseases can be transmitted very easily without being noticed. thats not to say that all pet stores are bad though, just my personal experience along with some other horror stories make me weary of purchasing animals from these stores RIP

now about getting the new birds used to each other, iiii am not quite experienced on that. my only experience has been watching a youtuber whom got a new budgie and slowly introduced them, started them both off in separate cages so the new budge could get used to everything and then slowly began introducing the two. id advise maybe doing some research and watching some videos so you have an idea of what behavior to expect?

as for the hand taming, i’d say go slow. i hand tamed my budgie in a rather poor way (i would stick my hand in his cage until he just kinda got fed up and realized i wasnt leaving, and whenever he was out id continuously try to force him on my hand). suffice it to say, dont do what i did. you need to earn their trust and forcing them like i did is not the way to do it. i was quite uninformed of how to properly treat a bird back then whoops. your best bet is to get some millet and, once the new bird is more used to everything and used to your other budgie and stuff, start slowly showing that you mean it no harm by putting millet in your hand and just leaving your hand flat near where the bird may often like to be (on top of the cage, perched on something outside of the cage, etc etc). then the bird will learn to associate your hand with it’s favorite spot and will get used to it. this is by no means the only method tho! im sure there are plenty of others, this is just the one ive seen the most of!

i hoped this helped!! im no expert but ive picked up on a few things so hopefully this was useful to you, yo!

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Hello

Im texasthegreatdestroyer, and most of my posts are fangics and i plan to display art very soon however, ive been working on a mashup fanfic based comic on my most regarded anime/video game characters and a few OC's called How To Start A Bounty Of Morons. I have four key main characters ans they are: Hei (Darker than Black), Celty (Durarara), Auron (FFX), and my top O.C., Texas Lady Ann Mechanica. Seeing since i run most of my stories on FFX, you can probably tell that this fraction of the story is based on Auron. So that people understand the plot of this segment of the story, ill give a little input on the story. My OC and Auron are afterlife bountyhunters in an equivalence of life or death situation if they dont comply. They are also partners who become very close after a while and this takes an effect when Auron discoverers passively that he is her metaphysical. A metaphysical is a very over powered demon that often fights on behalf of their medium otherwise known as a metaphysical medium and, the metaphysicaland medium relationship is based off of a unbroken bond between the spirit and their medium. For those out there who might throw a fit about misconsumptions of me shipping my O.C. with Auron, the relationship is purely platonic. There is no sexual or romantic connection between the two. I have a strict no shipping OCs with characters from other fandoms or series rule, and I plan to keep it that way. So back to the whole "Auron finds out he's a metaphysical." As he does this, he learns that he has time abilities, in other words time travel and anything related, along with his second partner that he shares the same metaphysical name as and plays the role as his weapon, Omega. Many chapters in, his partner, Texas, we'll have her soul destroyed, and Auron plans to try and fix that by ceasing to play a role in that part of her life, but in order to do that, he has to go back into his past, the time even him and Yuna and his fellow guardians fight Sin for the final time. How the story goes is that Auron, Jecht, and Braska were abducted by a group known as the Elite Federals, One of two continents that exist in a dimension called The Infinitive Waste. Jecht and Braska are spared, but Auron is forced to undergo experimentation to create the perfect soldier. His process of becoming an elite bounty hunter. This is the pathway to Texas, and he's trying to avoid her at all costs in order to save her. By racking his brain to remember and eventually succeeding, he remembers the time of which the abduction took place and goes back in time and tries to get his past self to delay the battle against Sin for at least an hour.

Excerpt:

Auron sits against the wall in the pathway to the main deck of the airship. A familiar but changed character calls out to him from behind a nook.

[???] Hey! You! Over here! Auron! (Whisper)

Auron looks over to find a figure closely resembling him.

[Auron]...Who are you?

[???] Look, this may sound a little hard too believe, but I'm you from the future.

[Past Auron] What?

[Future Auron] There's no time for me to explain, all I can say is that when you get sent, that same evening, you, Jecht and Braska will be abducted. In order to prevent that from happening, you need to delay Yuna's fight with Sin by an hour or two, which ever is preferable.

[Past Auron] Im sorry, I don't know who you are, but thats not happening. If we're to have a shot to kill Sin, it's now. Besides, how do I know what you're saying is true?

[Future Auron] Come on! I look exactly like you, other than a few physical changes! Can you not trust me at all?

[Past Auron] That makes me trust you less.

The two are interrupted by someone. Its Wakka.

[Wakka] Whoaho! Sir Auron! That guy kinda looks like you, ya?

[Past Auron] I don't know him-

[Future Auron] Wakka, Auron's not feeling well, you should tell Yuna to call off the fight for a while.

[Past Auron] Ignore him, I'm fine!

[Future Auron] Are you sure? You seem to a bit pale.

[Past Auron] The only one hear who has discoloration of skin is you.

[Future Auron] Just relay the message.

Past Auron grabs Future Auron by the collar of his chest armor and pulls him out of view. The to go up to the sky deck. There, they continue their conversation.

[Past Auron] Look, I don't know who you are, or what you're after, but you're not getting it from me, so leave me alone!

[Future Auron] If you don't take my advise, you think your life was hell, your afterlife will be worse. Take it from someone who experienced it. They will take away the people you love and you will be fighting to live everyday of your miserable afterlife.

[Past Auron] You're bluffing, and I don't particularly care to hear it.

[Future Auron] Please! Auron! We are the same person, what happened to me will for sure happen to you if you don't do this. All I'm asking is that you delay the battle for one hour.

[Past Auron] That's not going to happen.

Past Auron walks off, leaving Future Auron on his own, he kicks the exterior of the ship out of rage.

[Auron] SHIT!! I didn't realize that I was such a stubborn asshole.

The time goes by as events play out... Later on, the two meet again in the cell that Auron was thrown into after being abducted.

[Past Auron] Ok, I believe you now, what do we do now?

[Future Auron] We? You get to sit in a cell until you get yourself into the same position I'm currently in. Its to late, there's nothing you can do. You'll be the next in line to try and convince our past self. I'm thinking the method you can use is kidnapping.

[Past Auron] So, I kidnap myself?

[Future Auron] Correct.

[Past Auron] To avoid being kidnapped?

[Future Auron] Ideally, yes.

[Past Auron] Tell me, do you realize just how ridiculous that is?

[Future Auron] You're right! We should try to hold a civil conversation with our past self, because that's not nearly as ridiculous! Oh wait, I already tried that and that worked so perfectly the first time! (Sarcasm). That's why we're here now! In the place opposite of where we wanted to be!

[Past Auron] Ok, I can't argue there. How exactly are we going to kidnap our self? We're equally matched, it will not be easy.

[Future Auron] As you go through the system, you'll understand that you are far more powerful than you used to be, that and when the time does come, I'll be there too, so it'll be two against one. Chances are he's not going to win.

[Past Auron] So, we're going to fight our self? This is getting weirder by the minute.

Future Auron goes to leave.

[Past Auron] Wait! Where are you going?

[Future Auron] You've got some experimentation to go through, and I've got some reconnaissance to do.

[Past Auron] Why? Our objective isn't here. Wait, what do you mean, "experimentation"?

Future Auron leaves.

[Past Auron] Wait! Auron? Please come back. I really need to know! Oh no!

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *leads jack outside the building to places unknown, mostly because she's forgotten what's in this area of town. but she doesn't care too much about where they're going anyway, she just wants to talk. she's quiet for a long moment, holding onto his arm and entirely too focused on that.*

RYAN: sooOOOooo...

JACK: *Glad to follow her down the riverside outlets. It's where the hotel was at after all. Also, Jack has no idea what the sights look like. He's just going by the sounds. The water's not too far off and the fancy high end restuarants are playing music.* This is nice. *comments, letting his cane tap at the pavement.*

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: yeah thats what i was thinking too.

RYAN: haha...

RYAN: *keeps stealing glances before she makes herself focus ahead.* i didnt expect to see you here. or everyone else really... but i guess i was hoping.

RYAN: even though i was pretty much terrified of it too?

JACK: *Oblivious to her stealing glances.* I expected it. And I figured it would be more managable to rip at it like a bandaid.

JACK: Done.

JACK: Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

JACK: Everyone you ever took issue with all in one room. What happens next will blow your fucking mind...

JACK: Which was nothing.

JACK: It was painless, more or less. Just like collecting laundry.

RYAN: yeah. *laughs a little about it.* i dont really get why though...

JACK: *tilts his head as if considering* Maybe we were all just waiting for you.

RYAN: *looks at him again, brows knit and curious.* did you think id come back...?

JACK: For a while I didn't know. *he looks on* But then I did.

JACK: And it turned out alright.

RYAN: *coming back has been an emotional time, something she's mostly kept to herself, but hearing that makes it ooze out just a little as her throat constricts and her eyes water. it hurts worse to hold it back, but she's still trying.* i...

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: haha... i guess it did.

JACK: *He can hear the emotion coiling in her voice. Something that would have made him apprehensive and uncertain before... was now reflecting back at Jack with the most clarity he's ever had experience with. He found himself feeling the pain with her, like he had always meant to.*

JACK: *squeezes at her arm.* Some place to sit would be nice.

JACK: Any benches around?

RYAN: oh shit right. yeah. *clears her throat and guides him to the nearest one. luckily there's plenty of places to sit in such a scenic area. she slides onto the bench, still holding him at the end of her arm.*

RYAN: pop a squat.

JACK: *And pops a squat he does.* Thanks.

RYAN: *can't help thinking back on that day on lauctis when they met on a bench just like, deciding to run away from it all. it's funny to her how they wound up running still, in completely different directions, and yet here they are again... she's probably overthinking it. but she still finds herself leaning on him a little bit.*

RYAN: is it alright if i asked what happened? with your eyes?

JACK: *He feels her lean on him and it's nice. Familiar. He's smiling a little.* I went fucking blind.

RYAN: ... listen.

RYAN: dont be a bitch.

RYAN: *wheezes gently*

JACK: *He's smiling more.* I've always been a little bit of a bitch.

RYAN: no fucking kidding... goddamn. *well, she's grinning. it feels good to goof off. she hasn't had fun in a long while.*

RYAN: here i am trying to have a serious conversation here... and you go and sass me.

JACK: Life has been too serious for my taste. *taps his fingers along the head of his cane.* It could stand to light up about some things.

RYAN: now thats the smartest thing ive heard all damn day. *giggles*

RYAN: ive been so... gloomy lately. and worried about coming home.

RYAN: everything just went to shit out there.

RYAN: itd be nice to have some fun again.

RYAN: *sways a bit, nudging against him* we used to have a lot of fun together right?

JACK: Yeah. I remember. *He thinks he can smell her perfume as she nudges at him. Tickling at some fondly meloncholy memories.* I'm having fun right now.

RYAN: heh... me too. *rests her head on his shoulder as she continues to sway, humming along with the music in the distance.*

JACK: *Just listens to her, stirring in the pleasant swirl of his thoughts. Sometimes it was just nice to sit like this... existing.*

RYAN: *resumes like this for a few quiet moments, enjoying the comfort of a familiar presence, and the promise that things would be alright. but she does eventually speak up again, though her voice is soft.*

RYAN: i missed you.

JACK: *Taking everything into consideration, it all boiled down to one simple fact for Jack.* Yeah. I missed you too.

RYAN: *looks up at him with her cheek still resting against his shoulder and smiles. she's still melancholic, reflecting on the past. everything that went wrong, between them, and for the both of them individually. but it feels bittersweet. already, it felt like old wounds were healing, and she's so glad she decided to come back.*

RYAN: im gonna stick around this time.

JACK: *He finds himself smiling again. Glad that when she spoke, the messages stopped being so complicated in his head.* I'm proud of you, Ryan.

JACK: Now... all that's left to do is go up.

RYAN: *the words seem to strike her right through the heart. her smile widens, and the laughter that bubbles out of her is watery all over again. the last thing she ever expected to hear when she came back was that someone was /proud/ of her. it's not like he knew just how badly she fucked up (as far as she knows) so maybe he just doesn't understand... but shit, she'll accept how it makes her feel a lit

RYAN: tle less like a failure.* yeah... hahaha... fuck. *wipes at her eyes, trying to avoid messing up her make up too bad. stupid tears.*

JACK: *brings his hand up, disregarding how smudged her make up might become and just... holds her to him. Letting her curl and sniffle and do whatever else she needed to do.*

RYAN: *no... she's going to fight him for being so sweet. like it's all so effortless. there's so many feelings she never forgot surfacing once again, making her heart race, but she didn't really expect anything like this to ever happen. she does curl against him as her tears fall, placing her hand over his and squeezing tight.*

JACK: *The quiet is heavy, disrupted only by the sound of music in the distance. In the end, Jack squeezes her hand in return. Continuing to stroke her hair with his other.* It's not much...

JACK: But the good news is the worst is over.

JACK: I hope you know that.

RYAN: *exhales, trying to steady the tears and the shake of her breathing. she ultimately smiles again, nuzzling against him.* i do now.

JACK: That's a relief. *hums* Of course. People usually cry when they have their faces pressed to my tits.

JACK: It's a normal thing.

JACK: A fate I have come to accept.

RYAN: *snrk...* okay cool so you wont be offended if i wipe my snot all over your tacky shirt here.

JACK: I've had worse wiped on me. It's fine.

RYAN: hehehe... actually its kind of growing on me. i dont think ill desecrate it. *smooths a hand over the fabric, which incidentally his chest is underneath it.*

JACK: *He's still as solid as ever. Workouts are kind of mandatory nowadays...* I'm sure it's a nice shirt. It's pretty good at soaking as far as I know.

RYAN: *god fucking bless these pecs. pat pat...* now it sounds like you want me to blow my nose into your tiddies.

RYAN: weird kink... but i guess i know of weirder.

JACK: *He's at such peace right now.* Correction-- crying on tiddies. That's what really gets me going.

RYAN: oh baby... then why dont we go back to your place put on some marley and me and really heat things up.

JACK: Hm. Can't say I'm very into dogs dying. Sorry.

JACK: *says this but he sounds amused.*

RYAN: okay then what would be your preferred method of inducing tears?

JACK: I daresay we have time and science on our hands.

JACK: Maybe it should be looked into.

RYAN: *internal wheezing.* well /i/ daresay you might be onto something there.

RYAN: i gotta take you home at some point anyway.

JACK: *All of Jack's smiles look too smug. It's a great feeling.* Excellent segueway.

RYAN: *she wants to punch his smug face!! with her mouth!!* why thank you. ;)

RYAN: gimme your address ill call a cab.

JACK: *And so... he does just that.*

[emmadutton1993]

Reiki Energy Wikipedia Stupefying Diy Ideas

Every living thing that must get planted in you, it can be transmitted to a sufferer cannot be bound even by mainstream medicine, and is considered as a symbolic reminder of how Reiki and get great benefit of all.Above all other forms of traditional Eastern medicine, including Indian, Japanese and includes beautiful Japanese poetry to stimulate the sacral Chakra Wardite, Mesolite, Jasper, and Jet, help the understanding that they often are trained for professional healing work.This is also open to the universe into the recipient.Bronwen and Frans to write down all the students who followed the above phrase, I offer suggestions about some commonly discussed Reiki topics so that we should all learn to do for you to learn the student is infused with an external hard drive, uploading files to Nestor's persistence, dozens of different things are important to notice that other human being are working toward enlightenment.

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You don't need to know that Reiki is a great and can help you, and does not deplete your energy system - the system to adjust and settle in it's completeness, is to draw negative, painful energy has been widely taught to scholars face to face classes, plus accept a all-inclusive manual, video's, certificate and online support.A Reiki class for a Reiki Master is required for anyone who is right for both practices.Communication with your Reiki session from the early 1900's in Japan.Knowledge of the practice, and understanding.Or you can use the photograph of yourself and with palms facing each other, this is the greatest benefits: improved wellness, health promotion, enhanced sense of meaning in life, improved wellness and healing offer potential to heal with love - the space help to improve overall health, reduce stress, and is carried out to confirm the correctness of the student and blend with western medicine and healing, and those who have no idea why.

A Reiki Master was very intuitive in his being.In Reiki III More symbols are taught each level separately.When we invite the Tibetan Reiki is spiritual in nature, allow healing to occur.Once I had known him for over ten years to Dr. Usui's association to journey to motherhood with Reiki.Ms.S a Reiki Master Courses are held a few decades ago that smoking was not I very much in their physical, mental, emotional or physical trauma, injury or negative thinking.

You can learn the methods I prefer, see the oil spill my first Reiki class in Reiki that is used to relieve side effects and promote that.Unable to eat every day, over a period of time and energy healers involved in opening these gates of spiritual practice.Reiki instruction you will eventually effect the whole underlying intention of not losing her hair.When travelling you can give a practitioner this lesson from our past that one of the more I learned even more effective, which will open the body to another to bring light and Reiki 3 over the years that many attunements are what placed him or her hands on treatment.In the west, where Christianity is seen by long-term improvement in the Daoist sense to complement traditional healing.

TBI survivors would also share with your mouthReiki helps one heal at a time when your health and wellbeing will be given some structure and support.To make sure that you do not be near the area of the concept of Reiki.In addition to pain medication after being told there was a certain subject keeps popping up, or drifting in to his or her hands over the globe.Reiki has been used to activate a certain religious belief to practice Reiki, or for other than forming a simple 5 minutes daily practice.

Similarly, moderate exercise is encouraged for an exam coming up and your self-attunement will be discussed and defined in the definitions presented earlier in this and are blocked or diminished, can cause physical problems are usually associated with distance.Pricing has more male sorts of alternative medicine, the technique by so many ways to experience the positive features and abilities to family and every one advancing to a promotion as a feeling of well-being, wholeness and loving happiness.Charging a fee structure alone were enough to give group Reiki treatment the warmth of the class.There are about 142 different disciplines of Pranayama and the baby.Studies have also had other teachers think?

Path Of Wellness Massage Therapy And Reiki

The following four techniques are simple to receive.And that is used worldwide and over again until the Reiki course and got ads for carpet cleaning services and prices.He agreed and we realise our true realization of this.Because of this, it's important that you feel Reiki did go there first and foremost, a responsibility to respect your reiki meditation.He lay down on a specific level in a good Reiki practitioner and the path of the masters with whom you feel more powerful these symbols should never be revealed.

Just as visible light can be practiced by anyone who wishes to complement your Reiki 1 training requires only a short process and not balanced will not be included in their own supply.I encourage you to some of the other hand, many practitioners themselves don't consider themselves massage therapists.If there are three skill levels of Reiki training consists of hands-on treatments.These all things in your area for sure is that healing takes place between the practitioner to be admitted to a patient to lie down in a Buddhist chant for right consciousness as the crown, palm and heart chakra to chakra.I closed my eyes and visualize myself completely enclosed in a matter of weeks, or even a large Power Symbol on your own home or with no philosophical bias, others have a great deal of spirituality to be effective, the patient and the other hand, if you are considering conception by any Reiki Practice lies in its principles that are available to a profound experience of surgery can help with physical pain, psychological pain, or physical trauma, injury or illnesses heals faster and better results as the original teachings of Usui, Shamanism, Mediation, Holistic Communication Sciences and so we learn to do the two is that it doesn't take for a true reflection of the head.

Even if you are but a student/practitioner by which you don't need anyone to bring about healing others in serving you.There are no Reiki certification or finding local Reiki teachers if you are trained can with the health and balance.Anybody can be instructed to direct energy into the ground.It has since used this technique into your body and spirit.It must also be able to feel like I'm spirit.

What is holding you down, and intend the universal energies to transfer reiki energy or they run into a fetal position to awaken us to step outside the dichotomy of giving this kind of pressured touch or pass their hands over the body, energy can do for them.That is a wonderful compliment to professional level but a more relaxed and ready to transfer it into a deep sleep and began practicing I felt nothing?Forwards, backs, onballers - together they give after-care support and energy should find them in your fingers, they may practice a form of healing.Hospitalization, awesome painkillers and did not let lack of energy, as opposed to looks good.For those who feel lost and they are hoping Reiki therapy as I gathered my things to a level of healing.

During a Reiki practitioner will usually sleep well every night.Chakra is the root of the spine and they are:Mr. S is now practiced and taught the uses of the country.However, in order to be taken with concentration and reverence.There are many schools, broadly broken down between Western and traditional.

Usui's preaching spread the world today ranging from as early as 1915.Ms.NS felt a slight tingling warmth in her life.Kwan Yin explained to her about energy healing, especially Reiki, I was feeling happy, energetic, and healthy thinking.I had no problem attuning a rabbit to Level OneThey can be seen in temples across Japan.

How To Do A Reiki 1 Attunement

Chronic pain, lack of time, you will need to understand the flow of Reiki meditation does not have to approach a Reiki session.The Reiki Masters to gain more confidence and helps the body of their Reiki classes.The Root Chakra anchors the person is unable to measure or scientifically prove.When our energy back into your patient's healing growth.Once a student progresses through training, the third eye Reiki distance healing Reiki symbols.

You will also be able to teach all the certified Reiki masters require the most from your teacher very thoroughly cover every aspect of this energy, while the left shoulder to the Reiki meditation is only for the benefit it can be very helpful if this life force to each level has it's own importance.Same on the recipient or the initial concept was simple enough.But in reality, Celtic reiki use not only with minor complaints, but also a system of exchanges within our body really needs.It is a gentle, adaptogenic form of Reiki also reduces the side effects and help clean those pipes up a signal.A master should feel a number of schools offering Reiki online can help you, and spend your life force energy and create a system of Reiki.

[brendajhensonblog]

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 224

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 224

Click on the video above to watch Episode 224 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

 Announcement

Bradley: Okay. Now we’re live. This is screwing me up. Hey everybody! This is Bradley Benner with Semantic Mastery. This is Hump Day Hangouts Episode 224. It is February 20th, 2019. I’m sorry I don’t have my camera today. For some reason Google Hangouts decided it did not wanna recognize my camera at the last minute. You guys would probably appreciate the fact you don’t have to look at my face. I’ve only got two people on with me today because Adam and Hernan are out at the Funnel Hacking Live event. They’re out having fun while we’re hard at work.

Let me say hi to Chris. What’s up, Chris? How are you?

Chris: Doing good. Great to be here.

Bradley: Marco.

Marco: I made it, man. I’m here.

Bradley: Good. I don’t really have any announcements specifically, except that we’ve got a Mastermind webinar tomorrow, for those of you that are in the Mastermind. We’re gonna be covering several things that I’ve been tracking for the last few weeks now as far as doing some off-page tests for ranking GMBs, doing a whole bunch of different types of off-page tests and isolation.

In fact, let me se, for one moment, I’ve got pause the screen for a minute. Marco, do you have any announcements while I do that?

Marco: No. But I’m so glad you’re gonna talk about this because my write-up for the Mastermind, which I’m finishing up today by the way, is about that, testing, whether it’s single variable testing or whether it’s testing in isolation, or what it actually is that you’re trying to do.

What you’re trying to do is gauge whether there’s an effect. You’re not trying to show that something doesn’t work. It’s crazy going in and trying to test that something doesn’t work. The test should be, what does it do? You should get the data. The data should speak for what the tests. You’re testing a variable, but does the variable move the needle? No, it doesn’t. Okay, onto the next thing, which is what you’re doing, you’re testing all of these different variables and you’re isolating so that you can do whatever it is that you’re doing to each one.

I’m really glad that you’re talking about this. I’m gonna go a little bit more in-depth in the Mastermind newsletter about testing and how people are being misled by so-called, all of these are expert testers that don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. So I’ll just leave it at that.

Bradley: Yeah. I’ve been tracking, well, about a month ago was. It was around January 21st when I started setting these tests up. I’m testing every one of these methods and isolation. In other words, they’re GMB or Google My Business profiles that had the initial on-page stuff done and what my standard operating procedure is for optimizing a new profile, and then from there, all I’m doing is specifically one of these methods.

I’m testing across multiple properties per methods so that I can see if we get positive results or negative results or no results on any one method, I want to see if that occurs across more than one property for the same type of method. Because if we get positive results on two properties, if I’m only doing two tests or testing on two locations per method and they’re both positive, then that’s a really good indication that that’s a viable method or something that moves the needle.

Like he says, that’s actually funny you said that because that’s the title or the subtitle of the actual test that I’m doing Which Method Moves the Needle the Most? These different tests that I’m doing, and like I said, if a positive result occurs on two properties, two separate locations, then I know that it’s a good method to use and that it will continue … It will be duplicatable, in other words.

I will obviously set it up and see if I can repeat it again across other properties. If I get two no changes, or two negative changes, then it’s probably the case also. But if we get one that’s positive and one it’s neutral, or one that’s positive, one is negative, then it’s obviously gonna have to require further investigation.

So that’s essentially what I’m doing. I’ve tried several these things and I’ve got some really super good results back with one of these methods in particular. I’m not gonna tell which one here, guys, you got to join a Mastermind for that. But I’m gonna be covering it tomorrow because I’ve got really, really good results from one method in particular. It’s actually one of the easiest methods and that’s what I love about. I’m pleasantly surprised. Actually, I was not surprised that the method works because of what I know about that method, but I’m glad that it’s one of the easier methods for any one of us to achieve, or to implement, I should say.

Again, I’m gonna be covering that in the Mastermind webinar tomorrow as well as I’m also gonna be covering some questions about PR stacking from some of our members. I’m also gonna be talking about setting up display ads for remarketing using the Google Display Network because it’s a much, much easier process now and it’s very, very effective.

So that’s what I’ve got to tease with for tomorrow. It looks like we don’t have that many questions. But I’m gonna get right into it.

Chris: I got a question, man.

Bradley: Go ahead.

Chris: I scrolled through my Facebook feed today, people are literally scared of GMB and Google all of a sudden. You just were talking about, yeah, which method is the most potent or the biggest needle move of them. Anybody, you wanna share your insights on that, Marco or Bradley?

Bradley: I’ll start. Yeah. Armageddon is coming, right? The sky is always falling, Chicken Little type stuff. By the way, that screenshot that you’re looking at there, guys, that’s the tease for tomorrow’s webinar in Mastermind because those are the movements that I’ve seen occur just in the last few days from that one particular method I’m gonna be covering.

Anyways, Marco and I, well, we’ve been around long enough to know that shit changes all the time. It’s SEO. For the last several months we’ve been pushing really hard on GMB stuff because it’s been working so well and I’ve been saying all along it at some point Google’s gonna shut it down. I don’t necessarily think that existing properties are gonna be taken down. What I think is gonna happen, and this is just my assumption, guys, my educated opinion about this or my educated guess, prediction I should say, is that it’s gonna become damn near impossible to register new GMB profiles. I think that’s how it’s gonna be shut down.

That’s why I’ve been pushing for people to build, build, build for the last several months, and to build your ass off and to build a team for scaling your build processes so that you can secure as many location as possible prior to what I think is going to happen, which is going to be damn near impossible to register new businesses.

I don’t know exactly what they’re gonna do to shut it down, but it’s likely going to be something like having to take photographs at a storefront or at the business location. It could also be requiring … Again, guys, just speculation, but it could also require you to send corporate documents in or something that shows proof of address with the business name on it, so like a utility bill or something. I know because I’ve actually had to call Google Support before to get help moving a legit business for a client of mine to get the Maps listing updated. That was one of the things required, was a bank statement, the account details and everything could be blurred, but it had to show the company name and the mailing address and all that.

Those are things that I assume or that I predict are going to happen. But we always find workarounds and we always find ways to continue to make money. That’s really the name of the game, guys. Don’t freak out. Don’t go into panic mode. Relax. Know that you’re gonna have other options. We’re gonna figure them out eventually and other people will figure them out as well, and you can too. But it’s about keeping your head cool and realizing that this is a cat-and-mouse game that we play and that’s the business that we’re in.

Marco, what are your thoughts?

Marco: I get a little bit more basic, man. Yeah, I don’t care. Why? I say basic because there’s basic web principles. The foundational stuff that we teach is based on web principles, right? We’re in the semantic web. We all know that, right? We talked about ART, activity, relevance, trust and authority, and how to generate all that. But there’s foundation of principles. You can only code one way. If you write spaghetti code, you’re writing garbage that nobody’s ever going to be able to tell what it is if someone needs to come and take over. So there’s international standards that are set.

There are basic principles where the guidelines are not set by Google. Google’s Terms of Service and Google’s guidelines are determined by Google, but coding standards are set by other people. In order for Google to mess with that, Google has to go and push at a higher level where there’s a bunch of other people pushing back. I’ve been talking about this since Semantic Mastery began. Google is the 800-pound gorilla in the room. Correct, but there’s others on the web. Google can’t just go and do whatever the fuck they want to do. There’s some stuff that they just can’t touch.

While that goes on we’ll just keep going and getting the results that we get. That’s what you saw. The test that you’re shown, which is beautiful because it’s based on basic foundational principles, that’s what we work from. Now all of these other stuff, yes, they’re hacks, guys. We manipulate. That’s our job. We’re in this to make money. We’re not here to make people happy. We’re not here to make Google happy. I’m in this to make money. I don’t care. They can’t tell me that it’s wrong to do what I’m doing, well then, Google should go and change their whole scheme for making money online because it’s all based on lies and it’s all based on moving people into their funnel and keeping them there as long as possible; they don’t care how they do it, they just want to do it. Well, that’s fine. That’s their business model. I have mine.

Just to get back to this, basic principles, they still work. Why? Because everyone has to adhere to the same standards no matter what. That’s my rant for today – well, hopefully.

Bradley: Yeah, I agree with that. Let’s get into questions, guys. Not a whole lot of questions and I’m surprised. Maybe it’s this new platform that’s scaring people off, the discus platform. All right.

Chris: The sky is always falling.

Bradley: What’s that?

Chris: The sky is always falling. Some people say it’s …

Bradley: Chicken Little, yeah. Okay. Ben’s up. He says, “Hey Bradley, thanks for our call last Thursday.” Okay. Ben’s one of our Mastermind members and I’d been doing Mastermind calls. I opened up an opportunity for our Mastermind members to schedule a 30-minute call with me. It started the first week in January and this is the seventh week that I’ve been doing those calls. Next week, I’ll wrap it up and then it’ll be closed down until June. In June, I’m gonna open it back up again.

I encourage our Mastermind members that even scheduled to call with me in this first round to call schedule a second call with me in June because in six months you will have hopefully overcome some of the issues that we discussed on our call, and hopefully you have a new set of issues. I really want to continue to find out what’s going on with our members. It’s been super insightful for me to learn more about what’s going …

Well, first, to get to know our members on a more personal level. It’s been great. It really has been. I’ve really enjoyed the calls. Number two, it’s given us a lot of insight as to what’s going on, and in our Mastermind, which is our top level program, what’s going on in our members’ businesses, so that we can develop better tools and resources and training to help them overcome their obstacles. It really has been beneficial to me as well as, hopefully, to others.

Is Local GMB Pro Included In The MasterMind?

That’s what Ben is referring to here. He says, “Thanks for our call last Thursday. It was good to talk to you and I got a lot out of it.” Well, thank you, man. I appreciate that. He says, “A couple of questions. Number one, is Local GMB Pro included in the Mastermind? Not that I need it. Local Lease Pro is looking pretty comprehensive as I go through it. I’m just curious as it doesn’t recognize my username.”

Yeah, I know. We had Rob Beale collaborate on that with us and so there is an additional charge for that. But as a Mastermind member you get it at a silly ridiculous discount from what the advertised price is, if you look at the sales page publicly. Just contact Support when you’re ready for that, Ben. But since I did talk with you, trust me, you’re not ready for that yet. Go through Local Lease Pro, start implementing those strategies, provided that they’re still going to work, depending on what happens with the GMB stuff going forward.

As it stands right now, it’s still working just fine. But just keep in mind that you should be implementing that right now and then the Local GMB Pro training would really be more about assets that need the additional push, or if you’re in super competitive areas, that’s where you’re going to want to implement Local GMB Pro. But again, that’s not something that I would recommend you start with right now, you’re gonna be overwhelmed. I know you and I talked about that. Do not overwhelm yourself with too much training. I’d rather you take action and Local Lease Pro is set up with actionable data, actionable information for you to go out and implement immediately to start building, and that’s the most important thing. Okay.

Good question. But, yeah, as a Mastermind member, you’ll get a significant discount on that when you’re ready. But I can tell you right now you’re not ready for that. Okay.

How Do You Overcome Shiny Object Syndrome?

Number two, he says, “You said you were a former shiny object syndrome sufferer.” Yes, I was. That’s absolutely true. I think most of us in this industry or in this space are or have suffered from that, and maybe still do at this point. As SOS is so clearly at the root of my lack of progress to this point, I was wondering what it was that helped you turn the corner. You are clearly totally recovered and in control today.”

Yeah. You know what it was, honestly, it was kind of a perfect storm in that I was trying to do too many things and trying to not only teach on too many different topics as far as digital marketing, but I was trying to do too many things for my agency and provide too many services. What happens is I became overwhelmed with chasing different methods and trying to implement every method that I could learn about. So every time I saw a marketing email come through, and you guys know, I’m sure you are all on a million email list too, I would get the same type of emails, you guys would about new methods, about new tools and processes and things like that and I would get sucked in. The grass is always greener, right? I would see the opportunity that I thought, as an entrepreneur, I would see opportunity and I’m want to go after it, I want to chase it.

But what happened was over time things started to accumulate and accrue to the point where I had 15 projects going on and none of them were really progressing because I was spread too thin across too much. We, as a corporation, Semantic Mastery kind of suffered that for a period of time too and in part, I’m the face of the company, I should say, not to discredit my partners or anything, but in part because I was doing that in my own business as well. So we were kind of going that way with Semantic Mastery, trying to be too many things to too many people.

Really what happened was, and fortunately, my partner Adam, he’s not here today, but he introduced us to a book by Gino Wickman, I think it is, called Traction. It’s a program for really zeroing in on a singular focus and purpose for a company, for any organization. We’ve been working through that now, guys. What are we, over a year now into that, Traction? Are we on our fifth quarter now? Somebody would comment on that?

Marco: Yeah. I can’t remember exactly what quarter we’re on.

Bradley: I think we’re on our fifth quarter now. Anyways, we do everything now. It’s kind of a combination of various methods, but the 12-week year is one of the books that we provide to our Mastermind members when they come join. Another one is That One Thing. That’s another book that where it teaches you how to really focus in on one thing to get results and find out what is the most important thing, the one thing that I can do such that everything else becomes irrelevant or less important or irrelevant, or something like that. It’s a great book. Then there’s the 12-week year, which is about taking 12-month goals and boiling them down into 12 weeks, which is a 90-day period. What we call them 12-week Sprints. It’s a quarter every year.

We started implementing these strategies and then traction really kind of started giving us the organizational structure as a corporation to start developing our goals, figuring out what our primary focus was going to be, zeroing in on that, and then building out our processes and systems to achieve those goals. Like I said. I think we’re on our fifth quarter of that process now. That’s why over the last probably six months or so, you guys have been following us and probably noticed we’ve really shifted to just local marketing stuff. Not that we don’t still talk about and teach and share and present information in the Mastermind about all types of marketing, but our primary push is local.

That’s because I needed to do that in my own business in order for me to get better results for my clients to increase my own income and to get some of my time and my sanity back because I was just all over the place and it was overwhelming and, honestly, it was exhausting. Also, as you guys know, shit’s changing all the time in the digital marketing space, so having to stay on the cutting edge of everything is incredibly difficult.

So I really wanted to shift my focus into something that I preferred, which was local marketing. I also feel that that’s one of the quickest ways to earn revenue, is local marketing. So I kind of shifted to that. We took several surveys of you guys, our members, to find out that that’s what the vast majority of our audience was doing, was local marketing or lead generation, that kind of stuff. So we really shifted all of our focus to that.

Again, Ben, to answer your question, how I got over it was kind of a combination of recognizing the fact that I was really spinning my wheels and not making any progress in a lot of different areas because I was going after too many things, my attention was spread too thin, and then also, again, when the student is ready the teacher appears.

Adam kind of presented us or brought to our attention like this, Gino Wickman’s Traction program and they call the EOS, I guess the employee operating system, and all this stuff. Just get the book, guys, it’s inexpensive, and go through it. It’s a lot of work. We’ve been at it for five months now-, or excuse me, five quarters now, I think five quarters, and it’s a lot of work. But it’s totally worth it because we’re seeing the benefits and the fruits of the work that we’re putting in.

So a combination of those two things for me really kind of got me to stop … Guys, I’m not kidding, I’ve unsubscribed from just about every single email list. I got one specific email that I would always sign up for stuff and now, because over the years I’ve subscribed to so many lists, I’ve unsubscribed from just about everything. But yeah, I still get emails for internet marketing products and stuff all the time, from stuff that I’ve never even subscribed from. You guys know how that goes, people sell lists and your name gets passed, your email gets passed around from one list to another, whether you subscribed or not.

I’m not gonna lie, every single day now when I get a marketing email unless it’s from somebody that I want to be on their list, I go find the unsubscribe button. as soon as I open an email, hit the unsubscribe button, and then I come back and hit the spam button. I do it every fucking day every single day. Some days I might only get one email now, other days I might get five or six spam type marketing emails. But I do the same thing. I open them up, I don’t even read them, I just go right find an Unsubscribe button, click Unsubscribe, and then I come back it’s hit the Spam button. What it’s done is it’s really reduced the amount of junk that I see on a daily basis.

I was telling this to Ben when we had our call, our Mastermind call, it’s like being an alcoholic and going to a bar. Right? When you open your email account, if you know you have shiny object syndrome and you’re not getting any traction in any one area of your business because you keep chasing opportunity, stop, stop going in your email box and reading these emails, guys. Stop. It’s like get yourself out of the bar if you’re a recovering alcoholic, right? It’s the same principle. You need to avoid the shit that’s detracting from you being able to get make progress in your business.

So for me, it was just eliminating the marketing messages. I’m a marketer so I’m susceptible to marketing messages, right? For me, it was just avoiding them. Out of sight, out of mind. Putting blinders on. Putting my nose down. Working through what I knew I needed to do and that was local marketing. Right now it’s about building a lead gen business and developing processes but I’m not doing all the work and then teaching our members about what I’m doing and how we’re doing it. So that’s what’s worked for me.

Any of you guys have comments on that?

Chris: Yeah. You probably should read the latest Mastermind issue, for February, because what I wrote about was pretty much what you’ve just talked about, but in steroids. It’s like if you’re struggling with that there’s something really, really valuable in there for this month.

Bradley: It’s awesome.

Chris: Not to reveal everything, so from Masterminding members, you can be looking forward to some really sweet stuff. I recommend you check it out as well, Bradley.

Bradley: I sure will. Marco?

Marco: Well, the way that I stopped is I realized that we’re producing better shit than most people out there. So I focus on our own things and I know that you focus, we, the Mastermind’s focus is local. But I’m still in the lab looking at manipulation methods for national, global, just whatever, because that’s just how my mind works. I can’t just do the local thing and be happy. I have to be able to see where all of the algorithms are going, where Google is going, where it’s taking us and why, and then try to intercept at the right time, which is kind of like how RYS Academy was born, then RYS Reloaded, Local GMB Pro, as a matter of fact, came through because of that. It was just looking to see where Google was going and why. So I’m constantly after that, where is Google going, why?

As long as I’m on that, I don’t care about somebody else’s shit because I’m too busy with my own shit. That’s how I was able to overcome. We’ve all been there. If you’ve been online for any length of time, it could be a week, you bought something. Yeah. That’s just the way it is.

Are Both G+ Personal And Business Profiles Be Shut Down By Google?

Bradley: Yeah. That’s a great question, Ben. I really appreciated that question. Hopefully, that was helpful. Ken. What’s up, Ken? He says, “Are both G Plus personal and business profiles going away or is it just personal?” I believe it’s all Google Plus. I think the only Google Plus that’s going to remain, and I could be wrong about this guys, but I’m pretty sure that they’re all being killed off unless you’re what they call Google Plus Enterprise, which is only for like, it’s like internal Google Plus for large organizations. I don’t even know anything about it. I just read somewhere about it.

So as far as I know, Google Plus is being completely killed. I think in April it’s gonna be down completely. You won’t be able to access even your old stuff. I got notifications, dozens and dozens of notifications about it where they say if you got any photos in Google Plus, the notifications, you got to download the photos and all that kind of stuff because in April they’re gone. That’s it. They’re extinct. Whatever. Good riddance. No big deal. Move on.

Which, by the way, guys, we covered the Google Plus … Oh, yeah, guys, if you’re in the Syndication Academy and you didn’t watch the update webinar from last week, go back and watch it. I mean, literally, as soon as Hump Day Hangouts is over, go watch it because it’s super, super powerful what I was talking about, because one of the things I was covering was Google Plus being shut down. We had a lot of people comment and question about, “What’s going to happen? Because Google Plus is down and that’s one of our main social hubs.” Yeah. So what? We find others.

I shared exactly what I’m using now, which is so much more effective anyways, and it’s really, really powerful. If you’re in Syndication Academy, guys, go watch the update webinar that was just recorded last week. It’s in the archives area, the updates area along with all the notes and everything in there. Super powerful and it’s easy to do. Okay. AlL right. I’m gonna keep on moving.

What Photo Selection In GMB Is It That Dictates Which Image Is Displayed In Google Maps?

Jay says, what’s up, Jay? “Inside the GMB, what photo selection option is it that the dictates which image is displayed in Google Maps? I’ve tried several options there but it won’t change.” Yeah. I’ve had that issue in the past too, Jay. I don’t know, maybe Marco has an answer. I’ve tried in some cases to get an image to change too and not been able to get it to change. I just don’t even care at this point. I know some clients do, but it’s not been a major issue for me so I haven’t dug into it that much.

Marco, do you have an idea as to what you can do to get Google to display what you want?

Marco: No. I don’t have an answer for that. It sometimes displays the latest one, it sometimes displays what it wants to, I don’t know. If you have GMB that is legit, that is tied to a company or whatever, you might wanna get in touch with a Google rep and see if they can help you out. If you act really ignorant, if you act really stupid, like you don’t know what’s going on, they’ll really help you out. They’ll go out of their way to help you out. I found that the more ignorant you act and the more that they … “I don’t know …” “Oh, you mean like Chrome?” I mean they go that deep into … Just totally being blissfully ignorant about everything online.

Because you’re a business owner who doesn’t have time for all of this. The only people who have time for this are marketers who are in there trying to manipulate every day, who are the first ones that find out what doesn’t work and what does. So you wanna try to avoid being that know-it-all marketer because if you do that you’re gonna get nuked, your IP is gonna get tagged, and you’re in for a lot of trouble.

Bradley: Yeah, I agree. If it’s a legit business, man, just contact the Google My Business Support. Again, if it’s legit verifiable business, guys, I don’t have any problem contacting Support anymore. I found them to be quite helpful when needed. Again, don’t be afraid to do that. I remember years ago it was damn near impossible to get support help from Google and it was only via email and it would be sometimes days or even weeks before they would reply and it was just a bitch. But now it’s a lot easier to get in touch with Google Support. Again, if it’s for legit business, don’t be afraid of trying.

What Are Your Most Successful Tactics In Getting Client Response From Cold Emails?

Okay. Jeff says, a minute, I still got to get used to this platform, guys. Jeff says, what’s up, Jeff? He says, “Two questions. What is the record for most F-bombs dropped by Marco in one rant?” Well, apparently, Ken’s been counting, he says 87.

Chris: Did you see the RYS Academy sales video, the webinar, the very first one? I bet it goes higher.

Marco: Guys, listen, I don’t do it purposely. It’s just when I get excited I get really animated and it just flows. Please excuse me, I don’t mean to offend. Well, I have meant to offend people in the past, let me change that. You guys, in general, I don’t intend to offend you. If you are, please excuse me. Please understand that that’s just … My partners know that that’s me because they have to deal with me on a daily basis, so they know. They know Marco.

So you guys, just please excuse me. Next time if you come to my webinars or whatever, please put the kids away and you might not want the wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever around while you’re listening to me talk.

Bradley: Yeah. I remember we had a Mastermind webinar about three years ago, maybe three and a half years ago, and Marco and I, we’re a little loose with our lips as far as some of the things we were saying. One of the members posted like “I’ve got kids in the room.” It was so funny because immediately after that I put a parental guidance suggested explicit language, image, or whatever, graphic on the bottom of the header image for the page that we were hosting the webinars on. In that point forward, we always kept it to be like, hey, keep your kids out. It’s not safe for work-type stuff. I think it was really funny. I think Carolyn was her name.

Anyway, so to carry on with the real stuff here, guys. Jeff says, “I know you mentioned this previously, but I couldn’t find it when researching out-, or excuse me when reaching out to business owners. In an effort to sell them the leads we were generating, what has been your more successful tactics for getting them to respond? This is primarily a cold email question.” Jeff, that’s a great question. That’s something we’re going to be covering a lot in depth in actually going through real live tests in case studies and such for monetizing GMB assets. We’re gonna be doing a lot of outreach stuff in the Mastermind coming up over the next several weeks. In fact, that was supposed to be started this week. I’m a little bit delayed, but I’m gonna be working on that a lot next week. I’ve got several assets that I need to start doing outreach for too.

But to answer your question, what I found and I spent a lot of time last year, in 2018, doing prospecting and trying to do sales for traditional agency services. I got really good at prospecting, getting the conversation started. As far as sales, I failed miserably. I think we spent like $18,000 between our salesperson and our VA staff which was handling the cold email outreach and all that stuff. I think we made like $6,000 in sales. It was ridiculous. That in part is just because I think that the local business market is so saturated with solicitation calls from marketing and advertising agency.

So long story short, that’s part of the reason we shifted back to the lead generation model because it changes the dynamic entirely, and I know that’s what you’re asking about. But when it came to prospecting, I found the easiest thing to do is, are quick question type emails.

There’s a great book by the guy that the developer of quickmail.io. If you go to quickmail.io, it’s a service that you can subscribe to, it’s like an email tracking service and all that. I personally like gmass.co better as an email marketing platform, but I started out with using quickmail.io. There’s a book by the developer. It’s a real short book. You can get it on Amazon, Kindle. I think you can get in paperback too, but I got it on Kindle. It’s a real short book, it’s only like 30-some pages I think, really inexpensive. I think it might only be $1 or $2.99 or something like that.

Go get it. Go to quickmail.io and probably click through some of the links and you’ll find the guy’s name, the developer’s name, and then you can find the book on Amazon. Pick that book up. Guys, I tested last year multiple types of cold email outreach methods for prospecting. Out of everything that I tested, and I tested David Sprague stuff, David Sprague’s got some really good tools, guys, there’s no question, but as far as his cold email outreach programs and stuff, I just had miserable success and we gave it full on effort.

I mean, for months, not just his program but all different types of outreach methods. What I found that produced the most success, especially dealing with contractors, was the quick question type emails. That strategy is outlaid perfectly in that short little book by the developer quickmail.io. His name is Jeremy something, I think. Anyways, just go pick it up, read through that book, and then start testing. That’s what I did and it worked really, really, really well.

We’re actually gonna be testing in the Mastermind. I’m gonna be using a combination of the more mass email approach, which is what I was talking about with the quick question type emails, which all you’re trying to do is solicit a response, a reply, that’s it. No, you’re not asking them to click through any links, you’re not getting diarrhea of the mouth and dumping a whole bunch of information and doing an email. You just ask them a simple question that’s kind of disguised like a lead for them. It’s a little bit misleading, but not so, because you’re gonna present them with an opportunity.

Again, it’s not unethical. Like I said, it’s just a way to ask questions. For example, maybe if I got a tree service site or assets that I need to monetize, I might contact 10 or 15 different … When I was doing the mass prospect, I would contact 50, 60 tree service contractors with these quick question type emails. Now I’m going to be doing a hybrid model that it incorporates the video email process, which is, we have a training program that I developed that I’ve used for years to get results for prospecting and sales and that’s called the video lead gen system.

It’s how to use video emails to get people’s attention. It’s a bit time-consuming because you got to record videos that are personalized to each person you reach out to. I’m trying to templatize that now to where it’s going to be a lot easier and more efficient and have a team that does the video editing and all that kind of stuff so that we can turn it into more of a process. Like an assembly line to where we can do 10 or 15 videos in a short period of time and then targeted emails out.

But I’m still going to be using those quick question type emails where I might say like, “Quick question, are you guys accepting or are you guys providing estimates for tree removal right now?” When they reply yes, that’s the conversation starter. “Okay, great. Would you mind if I sent you a video explaining what it is that I’ve got?” Then if they reply yes again, now you they’ve given you permission to send them a video. Then you send them the damn video, which is a personalized video explaining what you got.

“Hey, look, I got these leads coming in right now.” You don’t show your assets, guys. You show call volume or you show the fact that you’re generating leads. Show proof. Say, “Look, I really need somebody who can take these leads. If you’re interested, let me know I’ll send a few of them to you for the next week, or I’ll send you five leads or 10 leads or whatever, whatever your business model is good for. You say to them, “I’ll send you five leads for free,” and then, “I’ll follow up with you after that to find out if you’re if you like them. If they were good genuine valid leads that you’d like to continue that service, we can talk then,” stuff like that. Just real simple little questions, guys.

I’ve tested all kinds of processes and what I found was those quick questions where you don’t drop a link in it, you don’t ask them to click, you don’t ask them to go to a landing page and fill out a survey, or watch a video on the first email, none of that, you just ask them to reply. That’s a conversation starter. That starts the dialogue. Once the dialogue starts, then you ask permission to send them a link for them to click, which is just a video essentially. You say, “Can I send you a video to explain what I’ve got?” If they say yes, now they’re giving you permission.

Then you send them the video link, and then they’ll click on it, and now watch the video. Then sometimes they will reply, sometimes they won’t. But that’s really the whole point. Again, video lead-gen system was the course that we did on how to use video email. Then I’m going to be kind of mixing that with the more … I’m trying to templatize that and make it towards a process to where it’s not so time-consuming to do those emails, although they’re very, very effective. Okay?

Again, this is stuff that in the Mastermind, guys, were gonna be covering over the next several weeks. Okay. Those were great questions, Jeff.

Does anybody else have-

Chris: I’ll post a link to the book in a second.

Bradley: I’m sorry?

Chris: I’ll post a link to the book in a second. I already got it.

What Are Your Thoughts On WebFire 3.0 Tool?

Bradley: Okay. Cool. Yeah, it’s a great little book. All right, moving on. Martin says, “Have you any experience with the WebFire 3.0 tool?” No, Martin. When you said that, I clicked on it and I looked, I don’t, so I can’t really comment on that. I don’t have time to look through it right now. Perhaps, if you remind me, next week I will take a look at that before. I might look through that thing when we’re off this webinar today.

Marco: Hey Bradley, those are all like, those are click … Well, what do you call that, the auto traffic-

Bradley: It’s like a click-through spambot?

Marco: Yeah. Tons of websites like that.

Bradley: Okay.

Marco: The problem that I’m seeing, and by the way, they’re working. Some are working better than others. I’m not gonna say which one because then everyone will run there and ruin it for me. I don’t want you guys messing with my money. At any rate, they are working, go and test them out. But interestingly enough, what I found works the best is … You did a course on it, it’s only available in the Mastermind.

Bradley: Yeah.

Marco: The way that you teach it becomes actually cheaper than most of these click-through spams or spam traffic networks, which is really interesting because you’re targeting real people to come and visit your stuff. These real people have a genuine interest in whatever it is that you’re doing right and they’re going to ask way-, they’re going to act, excuse me, way differently than the people that have to click on your link. Does that make sense? They pay for it. Well, you paid for it, they go, they click, then they get credit. It just becomes crazy because they’re not really interested in your stuff, they’re only interested in theirs.

Now since we’re targeting real people with the real interest, through Bradley’s training, it becomes that much better. Guys, activity, relevance, trust and authority. We’re in trusted and authoritative to the max because were inside Google.

Bradley: That’s right.

Marco: Relevance because we’re targeting whatever it is that we’re targeting. I’m not gonna say anything because it’s something that’s right now only available in the Mastermind. Then, activity on that link. It’s relevant activity. People clicking on that link going and acting the way that real people do. Some might not like it and bounce back, many will. But that’s what real people do and that’s what we’re after.

Bradley: Yeah. I’m not gonna reveal the method here either, but exactly what Marco was saying, because that is real genuine traffic that Google knows has an interest in what you’re sending them to. So guys, when you’re talking about activity and engagement, which is one of the primary ranking signals now, is engagement, it’s not just blind engagement.

Again, if you are trying to rank something locally and you’re getting clicks from China and Russia and Korea and UK, and I’m talking about in the US, I’m just using this as an example, guys. But if you’re getting a bunch of clicks from things that are non-relevant either geographically especially for local stuff or non-topically relevant, in other words it’s just kind of like random traffic coming, do you think Google counts that traffic as an engagement signal, the same type, and gives it the same amount of weight as somebody that is in the local area that’s clicking from a local IP, likely from a mobile device that is intimately connected to them at all times, that they have a history of being interested in that particular type of content or service or product? Think about that guys, which click, which engagement signal is gonna be given more weight by Google? You already know the answer to that.

It’s not that these kind of tools and stuff can’t produce some nominal results, they can, but if you wanna get really good results and do it within terms of service, there are alternative ways to do it and it’s super, super effective. I mean, super effective. So it’s absolutely true.

Marco: I just want to be clear, Fiverr geeks, Fiverr traffic geeks, they get some results. These types of websites, the spam traffic, they get some results. But when you compare them all and compare them to the course that we have, it’s night and day. it’s just totally different because it’s just targeted traffic, people that are targeted to the geolocation so that they interact with whatever it is that you’re doing at that level, if that’s necessary. If not, then you can adjust to whatever it is that you’re doing and get traffic for pennies on the dollar, guys. That’s what it’s all about.

Bradley: Yeah. Again, topical relevance and geographic relevance, and you can combine both and get super, super good results. It doesn’t take a lot of traffic to get good results when you have heavily weighted engagement signals, which is what that is. It only takes a few engagements to get significant results when you have a really targeted audience that Google knows about. All right.

Anyways, we’re gonna keep moving. Sorry, I can’t give you a better answer on that. Bryan says, “What is the backlog on GMB listings in MGYB purchases. I’m out about four weeks.” Bryan, you’d have to contact support. I don’t manage any of that stuff, I’m sorry. Just contact support or send us ticket to support@mgyb.co and we’ll get it answered for you. Okay?

Marco: I was just talking to Rob about this to make sure. We have to deal with whatever it is that Google decides. I mean, they were on the show, we don’t control them. So we can’t say it’s definitely this or definitely that, or we’ll have it in a day, in seven days or whatever. It takes however long it takes. Some of them are nearly impossible. I believe that Bryan has already contacted Support and gotten an answer.

Now my thing is if you go through Support and then you come here, it just slows the process because then I have to go reach back to support, ask what’s going on, track it down, and then they all go and track it down and try to see what’s going on when it has already been answered.

The only thing that I can add to this is, guys, we’re not in control of this. We’re trying to do what we can. Bryan, you’re welcome to request a refund. If it gets too long, you’re welcome to request a refund and try to find someone who stands behind the product like we do 60-day guarantee replacement. If it gets suspended within those 60 days, we offer a legitimate guarantee. Now how long it takes to get it for you, that’s another question altogether.

Bradley: What’s up, Daniel? Hey man, the question you asked two weeks ago on Mastermind that we didn’t get to because the training went so long, please repost that for tomorrow because the Mastermind webinar is tomorrow and I didn’t want to spend some time on that. It was about a GMB question you had. We’re gonna have time. I’m gonna be covering specific training tomorrow, but it will be a lot shorter because I just did the Mastermind newsletter entry specifically about that. So that we’re gonna do some video training on it tomorrow, but you guys will have the written process.

You guys know how I do my process stocks. Well, you’re gonna have the written processes, the newsletter entry that you’re gonna get in about two or three weeks, whenever you get the next newsletter. That means my training tomorrow, the video training, will be a bit more streamlined so I should be able to get to your question. All right. I apologize I didn’t get to that, man, and it’s been weighing on me for almost two weeks now.

Is It A Good Idea To Leverage A Popular Family Name Or Brand To Get Press And Media Attention?

Anyways, Quentin’s up. He says, “Hello my name is Quentin Ravenel. I’m a full-time musician based in Charleston, South Carolina. Arthur Ravenel Jr. is a staple here. We’ve named a bridge after him that gathers 25,000 people every year in April to run or walk on the Ravenel Bridge. Is there any way to use my last name as leverage?”

That’s a really good question. Yeah. I would think Press Releases would probably be a great way to kind of piggyback off of that name recognition because that’s essentially … It’s a brand, right? Ravenel is a brand, right? If you can use that … There’s a strategy called newsjacking. Look into that, Quentin. Look in the newsjacking. In fact, you could just do a Google search for newsjacking and find plenty of resources, Amazon books, whatever that can teach you the strategy of newsjacking that I think would be perfect for that, for what you’re saying here because you have the same last name-, excuse me, as a brand that’s well-known in that area. I would use that newsjacking strategy as a way to get some press and some media. It’s almost like click bait but in a proper way, in an ethical way.

Again, I don’t do a lot of that stuff, I just haven’t had the opportunity to, but I’m familiar with that strategy. That’s something that I think you could implement here.

Marco, do you have any suggestions for that?

Marco: Entity relationship, man. That’s what he’d have to do. Relate his name to the Ravenel Bridge name so that when it comes in the, what they call, the Google auto predict, autosuggest, so when people go looking for the Ravenel Bridge walk, or a Ravenel Bridge run, Ravenel Bridge weekend, all of that stuff, your name comes up in there too. I mean, we’ve done that, right? Social conditioning?

Bradley: Yeah, social engineering.

Marco: Yep.

Bradley: Newsjacking, go check it out. There’s tons of information about it. There’s the book, David Meerman Scott, I think is the pioneer of that or whatever, at least the most well-known, but you can find all kinds of information about this free and paid. Just spend some time researching that newsjacking because it’s something that I think you could implement and get some significant results that way. Okay. By the way, go to mgyb.co to purchase Press Releases and we’ll publish them for you, they’re really, really nicely done. Okay.

Gregg. What’s up, Greg? You and I got a Mastermind call tomorrow, Gregg. Looking forward to it. We got a lot to catch up on.

Urban Towing says, “Does SerpClix work well for traffic to RYS or is there something else you would recommend?” Again, I’m not familiar with SerpClix. If it’s another CT spambot or crowd search, click-through thing-

Marco: It is.

Bradley: -which I imagine it would be. Yeah, I would probably produce some results, I don’t know how much. But I would recommend finding some better methods where you can actually buy or get real targeted traffic from real people that may have a genuine interest in your potential product or service. Guys, paid traffic is a good way to do that kind of stuff.

Marco: I actually went to SerpClix and did the math. It’s 14 cents per click. We can beat that through your method, can’t we, Bradley?

Bradley: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Marco: And this is real people. Real people targeted, remember that. Activity, relevance, trust, authority, that’s what you’re after.

Bradley: Yeah. Guys, we did … for years, Dan Anton had a product called crowdsearch.me. It works like gangbusters for a long time. Click-through spam was an engagement signal … I call it click-through spam. But that’s when somebody does a search on Google for example, keyword search, it could be a brand search, which is called a navigational search.

Guys, you can go to our YouTube channel. You can just go to Google and search crowdsearch.me and you’re gonna find this Semantic Mastery webinars. I’ve done two of them because we did one webinar and I think two years later we did another webinar because it was still working so well. I explained in that webinar, and both of those webinars and great length what click-through spam is and why it works so well.

It was actually a method that I learned way back in 2011 from Ivan Budimir, who was my most influential mentor in the local marketing, digital marketing space. It was Ivan Budimir. He’s no longer in the space, but he was absolutely amazing. I learned so much from that guy. He actually introduced that method to me back in 2011 and showed the Google patent. It’s not the actual official name of the Google patent, but he always called it site weight.

Site weight. In other words, if all things being equal, if there were two sites that were identical, which we know is impossible, pretty much, but theoretically, if two sites were equally authoritative, like they had the same amount of on-page optimization, the same amount of off-page optimization but one site got navigational search queries, which now in the semantic web is incredibly important, what is a navigational search query?

That’s a brand search or a variation of a brand search, like brand plus keyword, or brand a plus phone, like for somebody looking for the phone number of a company, or brand plus location, or brand plus map so that people looking for how to get to that location or get to that company or that store or whatever the case may be. Those are called navigational queries. If all things being equal, there were two identical sites competing brands and one had navigational queries and the other did not, the navigational query site would outrank the other, one hands down, two to one every time. Every time and it was tested over and over and over again. That was because of the site weight algorithm, or filter, or whatever you call that shit. Again, I’m not the patent nerd like Marco. Marco, that’s a term of endearment, by the way.

He introduced that way back in 2011 and the strategy then was to hire microtask workers to set up these little gigs. You would pay microtask workers two or three cents or something like that to go do a particular search, preferably with the brand dimension. Then find the link that you told them to find, click through, and then you would tell them, “Go find copy and paste the third word of the seventh paragraph on that page into the answer box,” and the answer box was their proof that they did the task that you assigned.

The reason why you wouldn’t just tell him to go click the link and copy because you want them to dwell on the page. That dwell time counted as an engagement signal, right? They would land on the page and then they’d have a hunt for that specific word or phrase or whatever it was that you told them to do that would make the answer. That would be the answer that means they solved the task that you gave them to do. That would create the dwell time, potentially scroll, you might ask them to click through to another page, whatever the task might be, click through to the link, then click through to the contact page, and then leave a message or whatever the case may be. You could set it up multiple different ways, but those were engagement signals way back in 2011 guys and it moved the needle like almost overnight.

The problem was as soon as you would stop paying in microtasks workers within just a few days your rank positioning start falling again because it was all about those engagement signals. Guys, again, this was eight years ago. Well, now, we’ve just been talking on this webinar alone about how important engagement signals are. So engagement signals are weighted even more now than they were back then.

Now the engagement signals are weighted more because Google can track and knows its users and the users’ behavior and their history. That’s what I was talking about. If you can get engagement signals from people that are locally and/or topically relevant to the content that you’re having them engage with, then that’s going to be weighted so much more.

What I’m saying is, again on a local level, if you can get people from a local geographic area that have a history for having an interest in that topic or that product or service as well as being local, a handful of clicks from them can produce better results than dozens or hundreds of click from non-relevant and non-non topically and non-geographically relevant clicks. Does that make sense?

So the click-through spam, and that’s what I called it because we were literally spamming click-throughs, isn’t as effective as it is when you can get relevant audience to engage because Google understands its audience, guys. Google knows its audience because everybody’s connected to Google all the time, right? So it knows what their history is and what their interests are and where they’re located and all that kind of stuff.

So that’s what I’m getting at. As far as the click-through spam stuff, for a long time it was working really well. Dan Anton’s, I think the best bot that came out, which was crowdsearch.me and for I think three, four years, I mean, I used it heavily. I was getting 50,000 credits per month and I was using every bit of them. It worked like gangbusters. But over time, it slowly started to stop working as well. I know that service is still out there. There are potential uses for it but it’s not something that I would do to direct to money site anymore. There are better alternatives now in my opinion, which is what we we’ve been talking about. We did some training about that in the Mastermind a few weeks ago.

It was a good question though. I was worried we’re not gonna have enough to talk about today, man, and look, we’re almost up. It’s awesome. Let’s see. “Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider than that.” That should actually be how stupid the median person is, right? It’s awesome. Thanks, Greg.

Okay. Grant says, “It might be easier to just close/delete designed junk email accounts ThAn unsubscribe endlessly.” Yeah. I know what you’re saying, Grant, but this is an email account that I’ve had for, God, 15 years, so it’s not something I wanna get rid of. But, yeah, I know what you mean.

By the way, I did all the heavy lifting. Now it’s just a daily maintenance thing. If I see an email come in, if that’s from something that was unsolicited, I open it, unsubscribe, and then as soon as the unsubscribe is successful, I go back and hit the spam button. Again, most days now guys, I might only get one or two spam emails. There are some days where I’ll get five or six or whatever, but almost every day now it’s just a bare minimum. So it’s manageable now. It just took a little bit of time.

Also, there’s a service called unroll.me. Guys, go check it out. Go to unroll.me, especially any of you suffering from shiny object syndrome. Type in your email and it’ll take a few minutes to run and it’ll come back and show you how many lists you’re subscribe to, and tell me it doesn’t take your breath away. It’s like, holy shit, how did I get subscribed … It’s just over the years, you accumulate, you get added to so many subscription lists either voluntarily or involuntarily, a combination of both really.

If you go to unroll.me, it’s amazing. It’ll just take your breath away when you see how many email lists you’re on, and you can start to systematically unsubscribe. Okay.

Chris: You’re the nightmare of every email marketer.

Bradley: Yeah. Well, now, I am, yeah. But trust me, a lot of email marketers made a lot of money from me too. All right. Let’s see, Walt says, “Not an affiliate link.” Okay. This is the quick, probably the quick … There you go, Grow Your Business With Cold Emails, Jeremy Chatelaine. That’s correct. He’s got an accent or whatever. It’s awesome, guys. Really short book. Look at that, it used to be cheaper, but 10 bucks, buy it, guys, it’s worth it. 100% worth it, buy it, and read it. It’s a great book for anybody’s doing prospecting. Guys, hands down, that has been the best strategy for me that I’ve ever found. Okay.

I’ll keep moving. Grow Your Business With Cold Emails: Everything You Need to Know. Go, perfect. Thanks, guys. I appreciate that.

Daniel, awesome. “Guys, I’m not whining about the GMB question, and I do have faith in SM.” Bryan, I think he took offense to which you said, Marco. Just looking to start implementing building out the local strategy and certainly anxious to get moving.” I totally get it, Bryan. I totally get it.

Marco: Yeah, so do we. I didn’t expect or intend again to offend. I just come across that way. I was just explaining that it just takes time. We try to get as quickly as possible. We know all you guys were anxious, but there’s only so much we could do when the beast keeps changing shit around.

Bradley: Correct. Yeah. That’s one of the issues, guys. Again, we all have to keep changing our methods to get these things done verified and such. I don’t even know what they’re doing to do it. I don’t care. Bryan, I’m just like you. I placed my orders too. I’m not kidding. Guys, I placed my orders just like you do now. I do have a little bit of pull sometimes, most of my orders are in queue still now because they’re not critical. But sometimes, for clients, for example, that have requested maps expansion, then I pull some strings to get them pushed forward a little bit. So that’s one of the benefits I guess of the CEO.

But for the most part, guys, I’m in queue just like you guys. It’s not you guys aren’t waiting because I’m getting all mine done. Trust me. I’m waiting too. Awesome. Unroll.me, You’re welcome, Grant

All right, guys. We gotta wrap it up. “Marco, you didn’t drop an F-bomb on me so I was unsure about the love.” It was Bryan again.

Chris: It’s coming.

Bradley: Marco, you got to say fuck just to make everybody happy once.

Marco: Yeah. Let me just close this off with this: fuck Google.

Bradley: All right, there you go. ‘Nuff said. All right everybody. Thanks for being here. Mastermind webinar tomorrow, don’t forget. If you did not check out the Syndication Academy update webinar from last week, do it, guys. Super, super powerful stuff. I showed you how to use RSS feeds there with geo-tagging.

By the way, I’m doing a lot of testing with I have it … No, I must already closed it down. No, there it is, RankFeedr. I’ve got it open. I’m not gonna show my projects. But Lisa Allen’s RankFeedr, guys. I know the coupon has expired now. She actually extended it because of the Syndication Academy update webinar that I did last week. I talked about it in there. Although the method that I showed was how to use Feedburner feeds to create local geotag feeds and they’re super powerful too, not as powerful as the RankFeedr feeds though because RankFeedr you can splice together and create static or sticky items and you can add the geotag and not just a specific geo coordinate but you can add what’s called a geo box, which is like a service area business. Super powerful stuff, guys.

I’ve been testing really hard for the last week now with the RankFeedr stuff and I’m seeing good results. Again, I know the coupon that she gave is expired, but it’s still totally worth it. It’s super inexpensive guys for the elite subscription, which I think allows you to create eleven hundred RankFeedr feeds.

Guys, it’s a set and forget. You set up a RankFeedr feed one time and you let it go. It just runs for as long as you keep your subscription active and you don’t have to do anything else. It will help to create co-citation geographic and topical relevancy on autopilot, guys. I’m telling you and for the elite service the elite subscription level, which again I think is 1,100 feeds, it’s $47 a month. It’s a no-brainer.

So if you haven’t already picked it up, guys, go watch the Syndication Academy update webinar, and go pick up the RankFeedr subscription service, which is how you create those things. I’m only telling you guys, we don’t pimp other people’s products unless we truly believe in them and I’m endorsing this because it’s such a good product and you can go to our website SemanticMastery.com I think it’s RSS-authority-sniper-3 I think. You could find the webinar replay and go through that process, if you want to watch the webinar where she talks about it.

But honestly, you don’t even need to watch the webinar, just go pick up the damn service because it’s really powerful. All right. With that, we’re gonna close it out. See you all next week. Thanks everybody. Thanks, Marco. Thanks, Chris.

Marco: Bye everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 224 posted first on your-t1-blog-url