#ill burn through all my muscle first but i dont care

[starvingcl0wn]

thinking about how i literally never would have developed an ed if i hadnt been on shtwt!!!

[vee6lolz]

part 3: Krasivaya.

summary; There's a war in her mind, and she's fighting herself. Everything is getting to her, she can't handle it anymore. She's slowly dying inside and no one seems to notice... except one person.

cw!!; +18 content, minors dni!, mini smut scene (not between valley and spencer), angst, emotional reader, mother!reader, toxic relationship, emotional cheating. established name (YOU CAN SELF INSERT!), cheating on reader implied, slow burn, implied protective spence, implied overstimulation + stress . </3

we love u valley we scream out in unison

a/n: this is part 3 of the hidden valley series ! you can find the official masterlist here. --

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE !

- DONT FORGET TO LIKE + REBLOG PLS ! + REQ OPEN

w/c: 6.7k ( ill NEVER give yall short fics i love yall tm)

His lips felt so rushed, it overwhelmed her. His breathing had become more ridged; his muscles tensed. He clawed at her hips as if he was drowning and she was the life line, sweet nothings being whispered through the air.

His mind went blank, only being filled with intense ecstasy.

While her mind was only filled with thoughts of her colleague.

She was being thrusted into by her boyfriend of almost 16 months and all she could think about was a man who she's interacted with once -- cliche. It was like a really bad porno.

Every chance she got to look down at Nick, all she could see was Spencer. His voice, calling out for her in a fit of pornographic moans. His perfectly sculpted jaw. Brown doe eyes staring back at her as he consumed her tits; licking up and down her buds.

She imagined his fingers dripping towards her most sensitive, teasing her body as he hesitantly rubbed. He would make sure that she felt pleasure with even the lightest touch; if she didn't, he wasn't doing it right. Her back would arch, and he would dip his neck to kiss in between her breasts, leaving soft kisses to her intermammary line to sooth her.

Her breathe hitched with his every thrust almost in a rhythm, her walls clenching around his sex.

“I can't--” She would moan out, throwing her head forward, finding peace in the crevice of his neck, digging her nails deep into him to the point of pain.

“You will.”. He would, almost beggingly. He would need her to finish on him, he wouldn't be able to feel complete without it. He would've been in look. The pit started to boil within her lower stomach. Looking down at how full she was, full of him at that would've sent her over the edge. “Agh, Mm...” She'd moan out as the feeling began to rise.

“Yeah, you gonna come?” Was asked. Yet, it wasn't Spencer's voice. It wasn't the soft, begging and welcoming voice she fantasied of. It was Nick's.

Just like that; Pit came crashing down, and not in a good way.

Realizing what she had been doing, she thought quickly. His hands wrapped around her waist and she nodded quickly, “Yes, Nick, fuck.”, She lied. Fake mewls and mumbles flew through her mouth as she forced a clench around him, which sent him over the edge. His face flew in between her breasts and his nose hit her chest, causing a wince of pain. He showed no care. Nick pulled out of her warmth and emptied himself onto her stomach, gasping out for air as she reached to kiss him and he dodged it,

“You know I don't--” “Right,” She acknowledged. He doesn't kiss her after she gives him head. He sat up on the bed and threw her her shirt, groaning as he walked towards the bathroom to go shower. She sat there frustrated, and edged. And usually, she'd be into that type of thing if it were voluntary. Most of all -- she was confused. She denied that it was Spencer, she thought of. She convinced herself that she was getting people mixed up. Maybe she wasn't thinking of anyone at all, because she had Nick.

She couldn't think of anyone at all. She would never hurt Nick like that, and Nick would never ever even think of hurting her like that.

She pushed any guilt she had incredibly far down, essentially gaslighting herself.

It was a weekend off for the team, and the more she thought about it the more frustrating it became.

**buzz buzz**

She stared blankly at the text message, breathing out through her nose as she shut her eyes; she figured if she ignore it -- it would go away. And when her eyes opened again, it was still there. A groan fell from her lips, probably the first real one all night.

Valley struts into the D.C Station after and forty-nine minute drive, being met with the faces of Jennifer, Aaron.

"SSA Aaron, SSA Valley, Vic Barnes." The blonde spoke, she gave a soft nod. He reached his hand for a handshake; she waved instead.

Looking at the bulletin board, Valley's eyes move quickly around the notes and pictures. She notices the hesitation marks on the second victim, "He isn't sure he wants to be killing." She speaks out,

"He's asking police to find him," Hotch adds. "Matches your kid," he speaks behind Valley to which she turns around and is met to face with Dr. Reid. Her eyes meet with his not for long, before his inlock with Hotch's. His eyebags are heavy, his hair is messy, and he looks like he's on his third cup of caffeine. Spencer didn't get any rest, and she can tell. If he could he probably wouldn't let himself blink.

As she looks down at his hands gripping the coffee mug, her thoughts wander back to her early morning rendezvous. The way his hands fit perfectly around her neck, the prettiest necklace she ever wore. She snapped out of it when she heard him speak, her mind racing with confusion and frustration once again. She didn't get her rocks off, and right now really wasn't the time to think about it. Not while they're discussing a trail of prostitutes getting left on the streets.

"I let him go, I'm sorry." He said, genuine disappointment evident in his voice. It was obvious he was beating himself up about it, and if he could without being written off as crazy -- he'd do it in a literal sense.

"We'll catch him," Hotch added.

Around two or three hours later, Gideon and Spencer sought out the unsub for his arrest.

Valley sat at the department, zoned out while sipping on bad coffee, and it felt way more overwhelmed then usual. She felt like he had been making no progress with the team, she had done nothing to help, the officers are desperate to spark up conversation with the team.

Everything is going profoundly wrong. Not to mention, she was about to experience the best orgasm of her life before the sound of her boyfriends voice ruined it.

And in the midst of all of this, Valley had been experiencing incredibly bad flashbacks.

It's the same thing, over, and over again. She's stuck in the same position as blood drips from the rounded oak table to her feet.

The assailants were faceless, like wraiths in the night, their identities shrouded in mystery. They moved with an eerie grace, their bodies gliding across the room as they ransacked the house.

One of them turned towards her hiding spot, his eyes glowing like twin embers in the darkness. You could almost make his eyes out his appearance effortlessly; if it wasn't for the mask he wore.

He was a brunette with long greasy thin hair, his eyes where a soulless dirty blue which were surrounded by a black eyeshadow. A shudder of terror coursed through her as he moved towards her, his steps echoing ominously in the silence.

She exhaled through her nose, thinking of ways to focus. But she couldn't. She didn't know why, her mind was telling her to do one thing while her body was doing three others.

'Should I put the cup down? No, pick the marker up. Don't forget to highlight important details within the case--'. The voices inside her head were so continuous, vexing, and loud.

"Uh, okay okay..." She said under her breathe while squeezing her eyes shut, repeating everything she had to do out loud while scrambling all over the place. It didn't help when Morgan walked through the door, another presence she had to deal with.

Her iris met with his and all she could do was roll them, not purposefully but it was defintely noticeable. And it defintely concerned Morgan to the highest extent. "Baby," He spoke. She ignored him, and continued to scramble around.

Smile.

She smiled.

The inner monologue got even louder, don't forget... no wait... you need to--- she was trying so hard to breathe in and out. She was trying so hard to calm down. But she couldn't, so how she reacted wasn't ideal. She didn't want to be touched, she didn't mean to she just didn't want to be touched. But she thought Morgan put a hand on her shoulder, and,

"Can you fucking move?" She blurted between her grated teeth, nostrils flared and her hands in the air. Her face dropped quickly after she realized what she just said. Her expressions softened, and Derek looked at her. Not normally, not concerned. He didn't look at her like he knew something was wrong with her, or like he knew she needed space. He felt bad for her. He pitied her.

And that only set her off more. "Don't give me that look, please. Not you Derek out of all people do not give me that look." She pleaded with him, her head rocking back and forth. "Look, I'm sorry there's just-- I need you to back away from me. For a moment, please. I need you, to back away. Anything you need to said can be said without touching me.". And that's when he looked at her with even more pity,

"Val."

"No, Morgan. I'm serious. I'm not made of braille you can understand me without having to touch me,"

"Val--" She cut him off, clearly agitated. "Anything you need you can say from--" "Valley,"

"What?" She asked aggressively, turning her head once again. No one was there.

"I'm standing over here.". She looked across the room Morgan never made it in. He had been at the entry way this whole time, alongside Gideon.

Alongside Spencer. She never felt more a fool in her life, her eyes shot back and forth between Gideon and Derek. They didn't betray her, they didn't think of locking with Spencer. She was so, humiliated, so how could they? She looked down once again, shaking her head out of pure embarrassment.

"I could've sworn you were right here. I thought,". At lost for words, she refused to make any further eye contact. "I apologize." she blurted out.  

"Brown," Gideon called. "Sir?" - "Morgan will take over on the profile building,". Her head shot up, and before any refusal could be made, she was interrupted. "I want you to take a walk.". Her nostrils flared once again, "I don't need a walk, Gideon."

Hearing his name being said in such a manner, he glared at her. "Yes, you do.". Valley nodded softly, not wanting to make a bigger deal of things than she already has. She walked towards the shining glass doors, her presence causing both Morgan and Reid to make way. Incoherent mumbles escaping through her lips. She had no clue where she was going to go, but she wanted to go somewhere were she couldn't be bothered. That was going to be insanely hard to do, seeing as even the slightest breeze of wing could very much bother her at this point. She wasn't going to let that stop her though.

It took her fifteen minutes to find a park, where no one was. She could be alone with her thoughts, ones that were free of any task that sent them into overdrive. She didn't know what kept her mind captative, she couldn't pinpoint what her problem was, she couldn't even pin point what her main problem was. Her mind was constantly on go, and she felt like an idiot because she couldn't keep up with it. It was frustrating and it made her feel stupid. And she never feels stupid. She stared into the water fountain, watching as the Koi fish swam in sync with one another. So free, so beautiful.

One reflection became two, and she was greeted with a familiar face. Her eyes felt like they could pop out of her head, and her cheeks stung so badly once she noticed his presence.

 “You know, PTSD can cause intense emotional outbursts, like anger or irritability, due to an overactive stress response system. This reaction happens when the brain's amygdala becomes overactive, especially when triggered by reminders of past trauma.” Spencer spoke, trying his hardest to do whatever it takes to make sure she felt more sane, she was craving silence, believing it would bring her the solace she needed. Yet, despite her desire for quiet, his voice proved to be a greater comfort than any peace could offer. His words reached her in a way that silence never could, filling the void with a warmth and reassurance that transcended mere tranquility. 

 “Statistics show that about 7-8% of people will experience PTSD, and a significant portion, around 51% of veterans, report significant anger issues. These outbursts can strain relationships and affect overall well-being.”, she laughed, unable to hold back the sound. All she could manage was a laugh as she asked, “So, you’re saying you think my friendship with Derek is doomed?”. Spencer shook his head and smiled. “I think that if you try to hide how you feel from someone you care about, it already is, Krasivaya.”. Her ears peaked up, his eyes averted her gaze. "Valley. It means Valley in Russian.".  Valley stared up at him, the sun casting a warm shadow over the two. She stared at him with longing; he stared at her with compassion. “You were not spiraling. You were overstimulated,” he reassures her. “I uh- I know how it feels.”. He added, fixing the glasses that sat perfectly on his face. Perfectly on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes glistened, his hands in his jacket pockets and his scarf almost hiding his defined jaw, leaving everything to the imagination. And that only lead her back to this morning. The morning where she felt herself most calmed. The morning where she felt herself unravel, she felt herself release all build up she had. And the worst part is, she feels so terrible about it.

“Do you ever feel like, your trapped in your mind? Like your thoughts are clawing at you from the inside and you're scared that one day, you're gonna be to tired to fight them. And you're going to give in?”

“Am I scared of my own mind?”. She nods in response to his question, her feet moving away from the fountain as she makes her way towards the gateway of the park. 

“How could I not be,” He simply replies. They walked in silence for a while, just allowing each others presence to speak more than words ever possibly could. She begun to profile spencer quite a bit, looking up at him for a moment and letting that mental image do the work.

“Krasivaya,” she whispers softly. Spencer refuses to look down at her, just hummed in response. “What does it really mean,”, now he looked down at her. He thought for a little and just shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno,”

“You can't lie to a profiler,” she joked while giggling. “I mean it took you approximately 5 minutes to figure out I did, so I'm pretty sure I can,”. Valley shook her head, nudging him softly.

The park is enveloped in a serene stillness. Streetlights cast pools of warm, golden light on the deserted paths, their glow creating long shadows on the dewy grass. The trees, heavy with leaves rustling in the light breeze, stand as silent sentinels in the dimness.

The two walk along a winding path, their footsteps muffled by the soft earth beneath them. The air is crisp, tinged with the faint scent of pine and damp soil. The occasional chirp of a distant cricket is the only sound that punctuates the quiet.

The park’s fountain, dormant for the season, is surrounded by a ring of frost-covered benches, their once-vibrant colors muted. A nearby playground, with its swings swaying gently, adds a ghostly touch to the scene, the metal structures gleaming faintly.

As Valley walked beside Spencer, the vibrant hues of autumn leaves danced in the gentle breeze around them. She focused on the rhythmic crinkle beneath her boots, each step a small distraction from the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in her mind. The air was crisp, smelling faintly of earth and decay, but it felt alive, contrasting sharply with the heaviness she felt inside.

She cast her gaze away, attempting to push aside the memory of her outburst, the way her voice had shaken with raw emotions she thought she had under control. Instead, she silently watched the squirrels scurry about, busying themselves with acorns and nuts, seemingly oblivious to the world’s chaos. A small, bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of her mouth; even the wildlife was thriving, while she felt as if she was struggling just to keep her head above water.

Spencer walked beside her, his presence a steady, calming force amidst her inner turbulence. There was something reassuring about his quiet demeanor, his gentle intelligence that always seemed to shine through in moments of uncertainty. Yet, Valley’s mind flickered constantly, wrangling with self-doubt and guilt. How could she have lost control like that? She had promised herself she wouldn’t let her emotions overwhelm her again, not after everything.

The park was alive, but she felt strangely detached, as if she were watching it all unfold through a glass window. Laughter from nearby children echoed in the backdrop, but it felt distant—like a sound meant for someone else, not for her. Valley glanced sideways at Spencer, who was quietly observing her, his brow slightly furrowed in concern. Even in her turmoil, his eyes were warm and inviting, an anchor she didn’t know she desperately needed.

A few minutes passed in amiable silence, the peaceful sounds of the park mingling with their footsteps. Valley felt a twinge of warmth at the thought of Spencer simply being here. It was absurd how much his presence meant; he had a way of making her feel seen without pressuring her to share what she wasn’t ready to reveal.

After an eternity wrapped in minutes, she finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for earlier…” The words escaped her and hung in the air between them like a delicate thread.

Spencer shrugged lightly, the corners of his mouth curving into a soft smile—one that spoke volumes, reassuring her without the need for excessive words. “It’s okay to have feelings, Valley. You don’t have to apologize for being human.”

His words wrapped around her heart, easing the grip of anxiety that had tightened within. As they continued walking, a warmth blossomed in her chest, melting away the initial chill of shame. Maybe it was okay to let her guard down occasionally, to accept that everyone wrestles with their emotions.

Spencer glanced over at her and suggested, “How about we grab some coffee?” His eyes sparkled with a gentleness that felt like an invitation to take a break from her thoughts. “I can really go for some caffeine right now. What do you say?”

Valley nodded slowly, the idea of a warm cup in her hands appealing like a cozy blanket against the chill of her lingering worries. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

As they walked towards the nearby café, her heart felt a little lighter. Each passing moment was no longer overshadowed by her earlier despair. Instead, it was filled with the promise of a cozy corner, the rich aroma of coffee, and the comfort of shared silence alongside Spencer.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped them as they entered the café, the warmth of the space wrapping around Valley like a comforting embrace. She took a moment to soak in the vibrant chatter and soft music filling the room while Spencer sauntered to the counter, casually scanning the menu with a focused look. It was both comforting and chaotic—a stark contrast to her tangled thoughts, which felt more like a storm raging within.

She chose a cozy corner table, watching as Spencer interacted with the barista, his genuine smile easily disarming. There was an odd comfort in seeing him in this setting, the slight frizz of his hair from the morning breeze framing his face perfectly. It was a breath of fresh air, a welcome distraction, but as soon as she allowed herself to relax, the weight of her earlier outburst crept back in, wrapping around her shoulders like a heavy cloak.

When Spencer returned, two steaming cups in hand, he slid one across the table. “I hope you like vanilla lattes,” he said, his eyes intent on hers, as if he were searching for something deeper in her gaze.

“Yeah, they’re great,” she replied, her voice steadier than she felt. She wrapped her fingers around the warmth of the cup, although the heat couldn’t quite shake the chill burdening her heart. “Thanks for getting this.”

Silence fell comfortably between them for a moment as both took sips, but Valley could feel the words swirling inside her, fighting to escape. How to explain the mess of emotions she was grappling with? The looming shadows of guilt and confusion felt too heavy to put into words. She looked down, playing with the rim of her cup, hesitating as the tension within her began to swell again.

The café bustled around them, but it felt like they were in their own little world. She gathered her resolve and steered the conversation back into a more palatable territory. “It’s… been a rough few days,” Valley confessed, gaze flickering up to meet Spencer's. “Probably more than I realized.”

Spencer nodded, his expression softening in understanding. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said, sipping thoughtfully. But his sincerity nudged her, inviting her to share more.

“I just… I don’t know,” she continued, the words spilling out before she had the chance to stop herself. “Everything feels so overwhelming all the time. Like I’m this awful monster for feeling everything that I do.” Her voice was pained, thick with restraint. She felt like she was ripping open old wounds, exposing her vulnerability, but somehow she needed to say it. “I’m not supposed to feel this way.”

She met his gaze again, hoping to gauge his response. The kindness on his face was palpable, and it spurred her to dig deeper. “I shouldn’t be feeling…” She faltered, grasping for the right words, knowing she couldn’t bare her entire story—not yet, anyway.

Spencer leaned back in his chair, observing her with an intensity that lent the moment heavy significance. “Yes, you are,” he replied, his tone thoughtful yet firm. “You’re feeling that way because you’re human, Valley. You just don’t want to let yourself experience it.”

The earnestness in his voice struck her, and she couldn’t help but feel a flicker of uncertainty. Was he right? She felt so isolated in her struggle; had she been avoiding the very emotions that needed to surface?

“It’s tough, especially when you’ve been on your own for so long,” he continued, setting his cup down and resting his hands on the table. “When you finally start to feel things, it can be… disorienting. You want to shut it all down because you’re not used to having anyone around to help you carry that load.”

Valley felt her chest tighten. What did he know of her struggles? But as she listened, there was a sincerity in his words that struck a different chord. Spencer continued, his voice gentle yet steady. “You have people around you who care. Hotch, Derek, Penelope…” He paused, his gaze softening. “And me.”

The way he said it sent a shiver down her spine—both surprising and warming at the same time. It felt so odd to hear someone like him, a guy she barely knew, quietly affirm her place within their team. Yet, the reality of those connections started to settle within her like a cup of warm cocoa—comforting yet rich, with the potential to carry the burden of her emotions.

“Anyone would be lucky to have you along, Valley,” he added softly, his eyes earnest. “It’s okay to let it in—whatever it is you’re feeling.”

In that moment, amidst the bustle of the café, Valley felt a flicker of hope forming—a fragile yet resilient flame in the face of her emotional storm. Maybe the world wouldn’t fall apart if she let herself feel, if she allowed the warmth of connections to seep through her guarded armor. She offered him a small, hesitant smile, recognition blooming within.

The ambiance of the café buzzed with laughter and the comforting sound of clinking dishes. Valley and Spencer shared a cozy corner table, their conversation flowing effortlessly as they recounted humorous stories from previous cases and slight mishaps on the team. She felt lighter, their laughter weaving a temporary escape from her tangled thoughts.

After sipping her vanilla latte, Valley leaned back in her chair, a grin spreading across her face. “Okay, but can we seriously talk about the time Derek tried to impress JJ by cooking?” she chuckled, barely able to contain her laughter.

“It was a terrible idea,” Spencer replied, shaking his head, his voice a mix of amusement and disbelief. “I think he almost started a small fire in the kitchen.”

“Exactly! And it took weeks for him to live that down,” Valley said, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. The joy between them felt palpable, a warm moment that contrasted starkly with the confusion that had plagued her mind for days.

But soon, the laughter dwindled, and Valley felt a sudden wave of necessity. “I’ll be right back,” she said, rising from her seat. “Just need to use the bathroom.” As she excused herself and made her way to the back of the café, she absentmindedly left her phone on the table.

Spencer, still caught up in the lightness of their moment, momentarily lost track of time. He glanced around the bustling café, appreciating the ambiance. But soon, his gaze fell on Valley’s phone. The screen lit up with a notification, its buzz cutting through the festive noise.

Curiosity piqued, he hesitated for just a moment before reaching over to glance at her phone. The text message illuminated the screen, revealing a message from her boyfriend.

He read aloud in a low voice, a puzzled expression crossing his features. That phrase hung in the air, gnawing at him with an unsettling feeling. he muttered under his breath, irritation bubbling beneath the surface. The tone felt dismissive, almost rehearsed, like the words of someone trying to calm a storm they weren't willing to acknowledge.

Valley's absence seemed extended just then, and as the message sunk in, Spencer knew something wasn't right. As she approached, he quickly put her phone in the exact position it was in.

He returned to the light-hearted banter they had been sharing, trying to keep the atmosphere relaxed. As she slid back into her seat, a wave of warmth washed over him, grateful for the moments of laughter they had shared.

Valley glanced at her phone, her brow furrowing slightly as she noticed the notification still glowing on the screen. She quickly unlocked it, her heart dropping as she read her boyfriend’s message again. The words echoed in her mind, a reminder of the tension gnawing at the edges of her contentment.

Spencer, sensing the change in her demeanor, leaned in just a bit closer. “Hey, is something wrong?” he asked, his voice soft but laced with genuine concern.

Her gaze flicked up from the screen, and just for a moment, vulnerability flickered in her eyes. “No, it’s fine,” she replied, her smile strained. It was a lie, but one she hoped would suffice for the moment.

The words might’ve come out easily enough, a practiced response she had become accustomed to giving. After all, she didn’t want to burden him with the complications of her life, especially when they had just managed to find this brief oasis of joy amidst their busy lives.

But underneath that response, the truth lingered— got caught up at work?

He works from home.

Spencer studied her closely, noting the way her eyes darted back to her phone as if it wielded some kind of gravitational pull, making it difficult to shake off the worry tightening around her chest.

“Okay, but if anything’s bothering you…” he started, wanting her to know he was there for her, regardless of whether she elected to share her feelings or not.

“Really, I’m fine!” she insisted, her tone almost too bright. A tiny part of her wished it was true, wished she could brush off the unease that lurked just beneath the surface.

The moment hung between them, a fragile facade of normalcy masking the swirling storm of confusion and doubt that had settled into her heart. Spencer nodded, not entirely convinced, but willing to let it go, sensing that she’d reveal more when she was ready.

Moments later, Valley glanced at her watch. “Ugh, look at the time! I can’t believe how long we’ve been here,” she said, her heart lightening as she gathered her things. “Should we head out?”

“Sure, let me grab the check,” Spencer said, rising from his chair.

Once outside, the evening sun painted the sky in hues of orange and pink, casting a warm glow across the bustling street. Valley shivered slightly as a cool breeze brushed past, the air hinting at the rain that was forecasted to arrive later.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Spencer asked, gesturing toward his car parked nearby. “I wouldn’t want you out in the rain.”

She hesitated for a moment. It felt nice, being with him, yet there was a wariness that tugged at her. “Sure, that would be great,” she replied, glancing at the darkening sky.

As they settled into the car, she felt a strange comfort in their shared quiet. The engine hummed to life as Spencer pulled away from the curb, navigating the winding streets back towards Virginia. The flow of traffic seemed heavier than usual, but the atmosphere inside the vehicle was relaxed. They exchanged playful remarks and laughed over silly observations about other drivers, the ride becoming a safe foothold for their bubbling connection.

“Did you see that guy?” Spencer laughed, pointing to a driver who seemed to be oblivious to the traffic light change. “He’s been sitting there, just staring off into space!”

“Oh my god,” Valley chuckled. “I love how every once in a while, someone forgets what they’re doing in the middle of traffic.”

“It seriously makes me wanna do things that could cost me my badge and my track record,” Spencer joked, kind of.

The drive stretched forty-nine long minutes, giving them time to share even more laughter, weaving confused anecdotes and moments from their lives. Valley talked about her love for concocting bizarre recipes, recounting an unfortunate incident where she added way too much salt to her mother’s famous macaroni and cheese.

“Your family must’ve loved that,” Spencer teased, turning to her with a grin.

“Oh, they were not pleased,” she said, feigning an offended tone. “I practically made everyone drink, like, three gallons of water afterward!”

Spencer laughed heartily, and a surge of warmth washed over her. A part of her wished the drive would never end, that they’d just keep talking in this easy, flowing manner. As they crossed the Potomac River into Virginia, the distant rumble of thunder echoed through the air, and the first few raindrops began to patter softly against the windshield.

Valley’s heart sank a little as the cityscape turned into the suburban familiarity of her neighborhood. The conversation had been so refreshing, and she dreaded the impending silence that would come with parting ways. It struck her that she was hesitant about the moment they would reach her driveway—the reality of the rain and the fact that they were both about to step back into their individual lives.

Spencer pulled up to her house, the comforting glow of the lights illuminating her porch. Raindrops began to fall more steadily, sending rhythmic whispers against the rooftop. As she sat in the passenger seat, she debated inviting him in. The stormy weather was a perfect excuse; it could lead to shared warmth and strolls through further conversations.

But deep down, she knew inviting him inside could complicate things further, layering the confusion that had already begun to unfurl. She didn’t want to cross a line she wasn’t ready for, nor did she want to engage in a conversation that seemed inevitable. Instead, she felt the tugging lingering doubt in her mind.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Of course,” he replied, glancing at her with those kind, patient eyes that had been listening so earnestly. “It was really good to see you today. I had fun.”

“Me too,” she said, letting a brief smile curl her lips. In that moment, their gazes locked, and she could feel an unspoken connection crackle between them, a delicate tension layered with possibility.

“Okay, well…” she hesitated, the instinct to invite him in nearly slipping out. But instead, she swallowed her feelings down, deciding on caution instead of impulse. “Get home safe, alright?”

Spencer’s brow raised slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. “You too, Valley.”

“Definitely,” she said, and in that moment, part of her didn’t want to look away. But she broke the tension, unbuckling her seatbelt and grabbing her bag. The rain began to pour, cascading down in thick sheets, but she felt compelled to keep her composure as she opened the door.

“See you soon!” she managed to call over the sound of the rain before stepping out into the downpour.

“See you!” Spencer replied, his voice steady as she closed the door. He watched her squeeze her bag to her chest, her hurried footsteps splashing through puddles as she darted toward the porch.

Valley turned back briefly, giving him a fleeting smile that felt heavy with meaning, but then she pushed forward into her home, shutting the door with a soft click. Inside her house, Valley felt the familiar warmth embrace her as she closed the door against the storm outside. The murmurs of rain against the roof became a comforting backdrop, displacing the weight of the day with a snug sense of home. She stepped into the cozy living room, where her sister, Jess, sat on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Kahalani, her daughter, had already fallen asleep, curled up in a blanket, the soft rise and fall of her little chest bringing a smile to Valley’s face.

As the gentle light from the lamp nearby cast a golden hue over the room, Valley felt grateful that Jess had stepped in to help. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her,” she said softly, glancing at her sleeping daughter.

“Of course,” Jess replied, offering a warm smile. “I’ll always be here when you need a break. Plus, it was nice to have some quiet time with her.”

Valley joined her sister on the couch, and they shared a moment of quiet camaraderie. Valley sipped the lukewarm cup of coffee left over from earlier, staring thoughtfully at the wall where photos of Kahalani’s milestones hung. Each image captured a moment in time—the first steps, her first day of school, silly faces between smiles. Each picture was a reminder of the fleeting nature of life and how quickly these moments could pass.

"I should really get my act together," Valley murmured after a beat, her gaze focused on the images.

“Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself,” Jess said, sensing her sister’s underlying tension. “You’re doing an amazing job balancing everything. Work, Kahalani, life… Dick,” “Nick?”

“We both know he's only Dick,” Valley stared at her. Hard, mostly because she knew she was right -- so she let it slide.

“Maybe I’m just feeling a little lost lately,” Valley confessed. “It seems like everything keeps changing, and I’m just trying to keep up.”

“You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed mama,” Jess reassured her. “Just take it one day at a time. It’s okay to need help sometimes.”

As the rain drummed softly on the roof, Jess and Valley cleaned up the remnants of Kahalani’s earlier craft session. They stacked colored paper and crayons, each item a testament to the creativity and chaos of childhood. After a while, Jess glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to run,” she said, gathering her things. “But I’ll check in later this week, okay? If you need me tomorrow you just call me.”

“Sounds perfect,” Valley replied, grateful for Jess’s support. She watched as her sister waved goodbye and slipped out into the rain, leaving Valley alone in the hushed home.

Once the door closed behind Jess, the stillness enveloped her. Kahalani was peacefully asleep, her small body cocooned in the blanket on the couch. Valley tiptoed over, brushing a stray hair from Kahalani’s face, and felt a familiar rush of love wash over her. She couldn’t help but smile; moments like these were what made everything worthwhile.

Deciding she needed to wash away the remnants of the day, she moved to her bathroom, the cool tiles underfoot a stark contrast to the warmth of her earlier laughter with Jess. She turned on the shower, and the sound of running water blended with the rain outside, creating a soothing melody that eased her mind.

The warmth enveloped her as she stepped under the cascading water, the droplets feeling like tiny kisses against her skin. The sensation was intoxicating, a silky embrace washing over her shoulders and trickling down her back. Valley closed her eyes, letting the water envelop her in a cloud of warmth. It washed away the heaviness of the day, releasing the stress that had built up like a barricade around her heart.

She took a moment to breathe deeply, inhaling the scent of the lavender body wash that filled the air before pouring a generous amount into her palm. As she lathered it across her skin, the rich foam glided over her arms and legs, each stroke a soothing caress that melted away her unease. The heat of the water against her skin was an intoxicating balm, washing away the day’s tensions and fears. She felt herself slip deeper into a state of relaxation, the world outside fading away.

Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back, allowing the water to cascade over her hair and down her back. The warmth seeped into her muscles, loosening the knots that had formed throughout the day. She felt a sense of peace wrap around her, cocooning her in tranquility as the water ran down her body, pooling around her feet.

After several blissful minutes, she turned off the faucet, shaking her hair slightly before reaching for a fluffy towel. The soft fabric felt divine against her skin as she dried off, the warmth lingering even when the water was gone.

Stepping into her room, Valley switched on the bedside lamp, the soft glow illuminating the space around her. She took a moment to appreciate the quiet, stillness wrapping around her like a comforting embrace. The rain continued its gentle rhythm outside, creating a sense of serenity that contrasted with her thoughts swirling through her mind.

She crawled into bed, adjusting the pillows and sinking into the comfort of the sheets. The familiar feeling enveloped her as she rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling and letting her thoughts drift. She replayed the evening’s moments, from Jess’s laughter to Kahalani’s sleepy smile. As she lay there, however, her thoughts turned toward Spencer.

Just as she settled into the tranquility of the night, she felt something unusual against the surface of the pillow on Nick's side—the pillow he usually occupied when he stayed over. Curiosity hitting her like a flash, she turned toward it, reaching out instinctively.

As her fingers grazed the fabric, she froze. A cold rush flooded her as she pulled the item free.

It was a bra—definitely not hers.

[kashimos-hajime]

no regrets (8/8) | r.b.

summary: For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Or, Reiner finally understands what peace is.

WARNINGS: MANGA SPOILERS!!! angst, mentions of violence, we get our happy ending :) pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 6.7k

a/n: welcome to the last chapter!! thank you so much for being on this journey with me. there are a few callbacks to previous chapters so see if you can catch ‘em all heheh 

masterlist

crossposted on ao3 x

Few months ago ymir asked if I could let her write one last letter to krista, and I did let her. I stood over her shoulder the whole time, watching her pen down all this sappy shit and I kept thinking about you the whole time, behind those walls. What you were doing, what you were thinking. Maybe if you thought about me. I dont know.

I’m starting to see the appeal of wrting what youre not strong enough to say to a persons face. I never thought Id find myself on the other end of this stick. for some reason, I thought that I could stop myself, resist the temptation, or maybe that I didnt feel for you as strong as I thought I did once I was away from you. I was wrong.

What do I even say? I mean shit, I can barely see, my limbs are barely in tact, and all of it—shiganshina, it haunts me, even though I cant really remember it that well. Half of it goes black and then I remember hearing your voice, I remember Bertholdt, I remember you screaming.

You couldve walked away. why didnt you walk away? It doesn’t make sens. Why did you think to cut me out? Why did you try to save me? Im trying to make it make sense inmy head. It’s not working.

Fuck I dont know what I was thinking when I asked for a paper and pen. Why am I asking you questions? Its not like ill ever understand. At this point, I think it’s pity thats letting Zeke let me waste ink on trying to write straight. He doesn’t know what im doing, but thats better this way. Better than sleeping—better than eating. I just wanna talk to you and this is as close as I can get. Its my own damn fault, but I dont care. 

I completed my mission. After this, im done. ill give up the rest of my term. I dont want any of that glory anymore. I dont want to be a hero. Im just done.

Fuck, my head hurts so much. I dont really know if what im saying is making sense. Im hoping you never read this.

im sorry. I wish I could explain it to you some day, but chances are, ill be dead soon. Whether for treason or because they need to pass on the Titan, and I wont be able to see you again. Which means youll never know how sorry I am. How much I

Thats okay. I dont think youd believe me now even if I did say anything.

I remember your dream to live by the lake with a bunch of kids. You know I started to wonder if youd mind if they were our kids, not just some orphans who needed a home. I’d imagine one of them with blond hair. Imagine them swimming in the lake.

Never told you that was my dream too. Never knew i could have a dream of my own, something only I wanted and not just something to further marleys damn agenda, til I knew you. Sounds stupid but its true.

I think youd like Marley, if we weren’t sworn enemies. Just want you here with me right now. make me sleep easier knowing you’re there when I wake up. 

Dont want secrets either. Fuck I miss you so bad. I feel s o tired all the time. 

I rember when i first saw you all could think about was how you were the most prettiest girl id ever seen. I don know if you know thats why I tried to distance myself. Knew I couldn’t get distracted from my mison. happened anyway. Wish I could tell you that. 

wish I could tell you I love you. Wish I could see the look on yur face when you try lobster for the first time. Youd love it. Not sweet, but tons of desserts here too.

Shit. And the ring on your finger. ill put a ring on your finger. I promised. i swear ill go home and buy a ring for the moment I see you again. Might not be pretty but will do the best I can.

Olnly wnat only wnat only want to see you again and beg for your forgiveness. Let you know if I had a choice, I wouldnt have done it. Would take it all back, nd stay. i wanted to stay, stay with you and the others. I used to want to spend the rest of my life in those walls, now I think im sick and tired of them dividing people who arent even that differnet.

My eyes are beginning to burn. Worse because the skin is sitll growing back. Fucking hell god I miss you. miss your smile more.

I know i dont deserve your forigvneess forgiveness. I want you to be angry with me. I deserve as much, and I cant ask you to, but 

With love,

Rienr

You fold the letter, eyes closing as your fingers trace where the ink bled, the old tear stains wrinkling the paper beyond measure. Some are older than others, and you trace over his name again, your eyes burning, your throat tight enough to suffocate.

You’re leaning against the wall as everyone disembarks. They had taken Eren off first, Hange and the others getting ready to depart for the city while Connie and Jean lift a covered stretcher too white for the vivacious girl that lays dead beneath it.

They pass you silently, and you catch sight of a certain captain approaching, his pale eyes nearly swallowed by the shadows haunting his face.

“Captain,” you say, straightening. Placing the letter back into the tin, you slide it back into your pocket as he folds a green jacket over his shoulder. You give him a nod.

“You made it out alive,” Levi observes. He stops beside you, eyes more focused on what’s ahead. No doubt he’s not looking forward to having to take Zeke to wherever he needs to go—somewhere far, far away from Eren. You cross your arms. 

“It’s good to see you, too, Levi,” you intone. Sighing, you step in beside him and look out at the Walls you can’t see in the distance, your entire body wrought with a strange fatigue that’s only sewn into muscles by adrenaline leaving the body. “I think I’m going to stay.” He tilts his head to you, eyes flickering to your face, and you mirror the shift, your arms tightening. “I can’t leave this unfinished. Not after Liberio.”

“The farm will have to be abandoned,” he points out. “The kids, too.”

“I’ll make sure I move them where someone can take care of them. Somewhere north, far away from the brothers,” you assure, although still, your heart begins to sink and you close your eyes, exhaling deeply. “I have to hope they understand.”

Levi only nods, and you open your eyes as he wordlessly takes the jacket off his arm and offers it to you. Grasping it wearily, you open your mouth to ask questions but he only sets off, back towards the cabin where Zeke is still being held, and you snap your jaws shut, looking down at the jacket.

When you unfold it, you swallow the hard rock in your throat at the blue and white slipping beween the folds of olive green before there’s a sharp whistle. Looking up, you see the carriages already beginning to load up, and you glance back at the door where the captain has disappeared through before jogging down the ramp.

You slither your arms through the sleeves and shuffle the fabric along your frame as something thumps against your thigh, and you frown, reaching down into your pocket and coming into contact with something smooth and hard.

Withdrawing, your lips part at the green bolo tie gleaming in the lights of the port and you, without another thought, pull it over your head, letting it fall against your breastbone. 

“For your services to the Survey Corps.”

There’s no time to second-guess now. No time to debate.

“Good to have you back,” Hange murmurs as you walk towards the carriage taking Mikasa, Armin, and the others back to the city. You tug the lapels of the jacket tighter around yourself and flash them a weak smile. 

The Wings of Freedom on your arm feel like a brand, and it prickles your skin as you climb in after them.

.

Distantly, he remembers flashes. 

Eren reaching forward for Zeke, the exhaustion ripping him every which way, the sound of ODM gear whizzing in his ears as he tries to make sense of the punctured sensation in his armour.

How he had softened his nape, intending to die then. At least, let his death have some meaning, he had thought. Let him make one last effort to repent for everything he did to Paradis, and to his friends who’d been more family than his own mother.

He slips in an out of consciousness for the next few days. He doesn’t know what is up, what is down, but he does recognize his surroundings blearily, the way his head spinning somehow slowing when he presses his temple to the wooden floor.

How can he almost hear your voice in the echoes of the panels, countered by someone who almost sounds like Annie before he drifts off again.

When Reiner finally regains consciousness again, he wakes to someone crouched down in front of him. Jerking up, he lets out a sound before a palm slaps over his mouth and your face is shoved against his own.

“Shut it,” you whisper fiercely. “It’s just me.”

Your name muffled by your own hand, his eyes begin to burn and you lift your palm away as he sits up and you draw back. You’re dressed in clothes that look like they’ve seen better days but you’re relatively uninjured as you pull back. New lines adorn your face—one of the many prices of their damned war—and you only look exhausted. 

Sitting up, Reiner’s whole body groans as he leans against the wall, but he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Your hands are hovering around his body like you’re scared he’ll collapse and there’s a fracture in your mask.

Something gleams on your finger and his eyes flit to it, his heart lurching when he realizes what it is.

The ring. You’re wearing it. You…

For a moment, a glimmer of their teenage selves shine through and he wants to reach for it—touch it so he can remember what it’s like to be happy. He thinks it’s an awful like now; the swelling of his heart so big he can’t breathe; the way his lungs are static in his chest; how he can’t say anything because there are so many words that want to come out first.

“You’re here. You’re alive,” he finally settles on raspily. Your eyes glint with a youthful pain as you nod.

“So are you.” 

And he doesn’t know who moves first—you or him. Nothing is forgiven as their bodies crash in an embrace that lacks grace, but they cling onto another like the world is ending and they’re the only ones left standing. 

Maybe they are.

He buries his face in your neck, and your arms are so tight around him your fingers dig into his shoulders as your body melts against his and his skeleton sags in his own body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, eyes fluttering shut. “I‘m sorry.” A hand against your neck and an arm around your waist, he wraps his legs around your own and traps you against him. You seem to only sink into him even more.

Is that enough? I don’t want you to hate me.

You suck in a breath, and then it comes out shuddering. “You can spend the rest of what life you have left repenting for making me fall in love with a man who was always supposed to die.”

Softly, in his mind, your voice cools the searing heat of hatred inside him. It’s enough. It has to be.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. It’s like they’re the only words he knows. He can’t remember ever meaning it this much. For him dying, for making you love him, for ever coming to Paradis. For loving you. For loving you. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know.” Your face turns to press against his own. Your lips brush against his jaw and his eyes slide shut, tears rolling down his face. “I read every single one of your letters.” Drawing back, you cup his face in his hands and your fingers smear his tears all over his cheeks as his palm rests against your neck. Thumb stretching up to touch your chin, he feels sobs shuddering in his throat at seeing you again—looking at him almost like you used to. “I can’t begin to understand, but I know you are. And I know you love me.”

Choking, he gasps, “You should hate me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I should.” You’re crying, too, voice thick, tears stubborn on your cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “I should hate Marley, too. But it’s beautiful there. The water by the sea… I want to be there with you next time. We need to go together, before you leave me alone, okay?”

Reiner doesn’t quite hear you. He hears Marley, and beautiful, and he’s never noticed how beautiful you are when you cry, but right now, it’s the simplest truth he knows. 

“Okay.”

When you tilt his chin up and kiss him softly, something inside him explodes from the gentleness that makes him want to crack in the palm of your hands. It sears him from the inside out, makes him grab onto you like you’ll disappear—this is another dream, isn’t it? 

It has to be. 

You can’t be kissing him again after four years. He doesn’t deserve it. You’re an illusion, something his mind made up to deal with the pain. He’s finally cracked for good, just like Bertholdt said he would, and he’s the devil, not you.

But then you pull away just for a moment to smile, eyes barely open as you look at him with a sad tenderness that wraps him in an invisible embrace, and he is faced with the heart-wrenching reality. 

The sky is falling, you are holding him tightly again, and they’ve lost their years. But you’re here. With him. 

He knows that this isn’t a dream as he feels the coolness of the silver band on your finger and the heaviness in how he knows he hasn’t repented a damn thing. 

Why him?

As you run your hand through his hair, you press their foreheads together.

“And I do want a family with you, by the water if you’d like,” you murmur fleetingly against his mouth and his eyes widen, cheeks burning, entire face crumbling as he turns his face in to your shoulder, crushing you in another brace. Sobbing into your neck, his fingers dig into your shoulders, wrap tight around your waist, squeeze you so close he isn’t sure where you end and he begins and your lips brush the shell of his ear. “Reiner, say it.”

“Please,” he whispers thickly into your skin, and you cradle the back of his head with a hand. He’s nothing more than shambles. “Please, don’t go.”

“I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” you promise. His breath is hot against his own face as you pull his head back and cradle his face again, thumbs brushing away the tears from his red face. “Just a bit more. A bit more and then it’ll be all over, you know?”

And he understands, then, what you want from him. Struggling for breath, for his lungs to stop seizing in his aching chest, he cups your face that turns into his palm on instinct, your face wet with your own tears as, for a moment, they try to pretend this isn’t where they really are.

Like they’re still in that afternoon in Trost, a thousand years ago, with the kids flipping coins into the water fountain and a cream bun between them. Like they’re under the tree, apple juice on your wrist and his lips on yours.

Like it’s those trips to the city, the walks on the Walls. Honey is dripping down your chin and he’s pretending he doesn’t want to kiss you, or there’s grease smeared on his forehead, and you’re reaching up to wipe it off his skin.

Like a thousand moments all at once, and he nods to himself as you brush your hand over his temple. The world outside is startlingly quiet, as if the universe itself stopped everything itself to watch this moment, and Reiner takes a breath that bruises his sternum before he’s holding your left hand where that ring still sits.

And slowly, he pulls it off, whispering as firmly as he can. He’s sure he fails—he’s shaking all over from your presence alone.

“When this is over, I’ll put that ring back on your finger. I promise.”

The smile that splits your face is dazzling. It’s the smile he’s missed since the day he left it.

“We have a lot of things to work out, Reiner Braun.”

And your fingers barely brush his jaw before you’re leaning to press a sweet kiss against his mouth. It’s sugary on his tongue, like honey and apple slices.

.

Your back is warmer when you’re pressed up against Reiner’s. The ship is quiet, and their pinkies are just barely hooked on oen another’s as you stare blankly at the empty space between Connie’s boots. You don’t speak, and Reiner’s gaze is only on you. He can’t look at anything else now that you’re back by his side again.

There’s a cut on your cheek from the fight just half an hour ago, and there’s dried blood along your hands where your knuckles had split open, but everyone seems too exhausted to clean themselves up. 

Reiner himself has a blanket pulled over his shoulders, and he sighs, slouching in his own sack of flesh.

Your head tilts towards him, enough that your temple presses against his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into your touch. Not a word passes by, but their hold on each other’s hands tightens. And Reiner thinks. 

For the first time, he thinks of a future he could have, and someone who loves him, and there’s something bright in his heart. Something that hasn’t burned since he left Marley as a child.

Reiner thinks he doesn’t want to die anymore. He doesn’t want to miss you for another moment.

.

Raising from the steam, you groan, your hands searing from the inside out as you touch your face where you swore every inch of your skin had been stretched, but nothing seems out of sorts as you glance around. Everywhere, all your friends who had turned just as you had are in various states of disoriented. The air is still hissing, crackled with surprised screams and shouts of names as people look for one another across the field. 

It smells like cooked meat and burnt hair, a none-to-pleasant mixture that turns your stomach.

Getting to your feet, you wipe at your face, trying to ignore the weird feeling underneath your nails and the ache seizing your muscles. Trying to ignore the remnants of Eren lingering like a ghost that won’t really leave you alone. You shiver, and a strange cold sweat takes over your body.

He had taken you to the sea, except it wasn’t the shore you were familiar with. There was a cabin nearby, with blonde children running, chasing after one another and a man with golden hair standing on the porch, firewood in his arms as he calls out silently. Or maybe you had been standing too far to hear.

“Eren… where are we?”

“Wherever you think you are,” he had said. “I just brought you where you wanted to be.”

A voice, quiet as a memory, catches your attention. “Here let me help.” A soft wind blows throw the mist, cooling your scorching face as you feel a presence stand behind you.

“Oh, thank you.” You look over your shoulder to see a tall boy, and your heart stops. Mouth dropping open, you stare at his foggy image, but he only smiles fully, a smile so tender it reaches every corner of you as you stumble forward, fingers stretching for him. “Bertholdt!”

His smile grows only that much more, eyes squinting a bit and a flash of teeth before he’s looking at your hand that passes through his chest. All at once, all the hope built up in your chest crumbles, and your hand snaps back, trembling just before him. He lays a hand over your own and your eyes begin to burn, tears slipping down your cheeks.

And then, softly, you barely whisper, “I miss you.”

Bertholdt’s smile merely grows, as if to say everything he couldn’t say before. As if to show he’s at peace now—that your last memory together isn’t every part of him, and your lips press together, trying to stop yourself from shaking.

 Shadows form in the fog, and together, the two look as a freckled boy and another girl steps out of the mist a distance away, beaming like the sun. Connie and Jean stagger to their feet just behind you, and your heart lurches into your throat when you recognize them.

“Marco! Sasha!”

Someone calls your name and you turn around just as arms scoop you up and you let out a surprised noise before settling into Reiner’s arms. Looking over your shoulder to look at Bertholdt, your heart only sinks.

He smiles and Reiner lets out a sharp breath beside you, settling you down. “Bertholdt…” More shapes emerge. A shorter boy accompanied by another taller one, both alike in their features. You recognize one as the Jaw Titan holder before Falco, but the other—

“Marcel!” Reiner chokes out the name, hand stretching out to the fog, but the boy merely tilts his head and waves.

Closing your eyes, hot tears streak over your cooling flesh as you fling your arms around Reiner again and press your face into his neck. He cradles the back of your head, and he feels… somehow weaker, but still, there is that impassable strength in his core that wraps around you as he watches over your shoulder, still clinging on despite your clothes hot enough to burn.

I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive. It’s the only thought in your head. Your last clear memory had truly been the others taking flight, and the pain that had ripped apart your body before sewing it back together again in unjust proportions. Your limbs had been too big, your blood racing too warmly through your head as your legs pumped but your brain screamed to stop. 

Your fingers had sank into Reiner’s legs to pull him down and you had watched—watched Jean take a bite out of him—

You shiver and Reiner’s arms tighten around you instinctively, constricting enough to let you know that his attention isn’t on you quite yet.

Boots shifting on the ground tentatively, your knees feel gummy as you draw back long enough to look at him. He still looks over your shoulder, and you follow his gaze to watch the mist retreat. Bertholdt and the other two boys fall into a pool of fog, and your lips part in a farewell, but it’s already too late.

He’s gone.

A wind sweeps through the battlefield, tickling your sweating neck and cooling your boiling blood.

“Hey,” a soft voice croaks.

Their eyes meet in tandem. He regards you softly, like you are the reason the sun rises and the stars hang at the sky. Overwhelmed, you can only cup the back of his neck and pull him into a deep kiss. Your other hand along his jaw, it takes all you can not to pull him into a bone-crushing embrace that’ll send them both to the ground.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whisper hushedly against his mouth, throat swelling as he lets out a soft noise of surprise as you pull him into another tight hug. You don’t care that you’re crushing him, just that his heart is pounding against your own chest. “I couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry.” 

His eyes widening, he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulling you back just enough to kiss your fingers that crumple against his mouth. Clasping one of his hands in both of your own, you close your eyes and he uses his free fingers to brush the tears off your cheek before reaching into some dented tin you don’t recognize.

Eyebrows furrowing, you feel the heat leave your entire body, sapping your energy too, and your eyes snap to Reiner who steps back, cracking it open and presenting it to you. 

“You’re not the one who has to be sorry. I don’t think I’m the Armoured Titan anymore,” he whispers. “I don’t know if I get the rest of my life back, but either way, I want to spend the rest of it repenting to you in any way I can, if you’ll allow me to.” A weak smile. “Truth.”

Your throat closes up, and you stare down at the ring so protected, gleaming despite the destruction around them. It looks almost out of place amongst the grime smearing your skin, the sweat drenching their skin, the smell of blood and metal clinging to their clothes, but Reiner only watches you with a tenderness you can barely meet. It’s so overtly overflowing with devotion that your heart is resting on your tongue, seizing control of everything. 

You barely nod, chewing on your lip, trying not to cry even harder as his eyebrows rise in relief and he lets out a long sigh.

He lifts the ring out of the tin, snapping it closed before sliding the band back home onto your finger and all at once, everything floods you. The exhaustion, the pain, the hunger, thirst, grief wrapping around your bones and chaining you to the ground.

It’s over.

The minute he put the ring on your finger, it would mean it was over. No more blood, no more fighting.

Just like he promised.

You barely croak out his name before you fall to your knees. You trust him to catch you, and he does.

[THREE YEARS LATER]

Just after the Rumbling had stopped, you had gone back to Paradis alone and came back with three children to a man who was still uncertain in a world that was changing. 

Since then, you’ve learned so much about the world, about yourself, about Reiner. 

How he’s seized by night terrors even now, just like you, and how one thing that soothes it is going out for a walk while the sun still simmers below the horizon, the sky a dark navy blue spliced with orange rays. The intricate details like him making a point to tie his own tie because his father never taught him how or the way he has to chug his coffee so he has enough energy to get through the day.

And some days are horrible, haunting, but now, it is far outweighed by the good. He teaches Xav how to dress smart, takes the girls out shopping. Sometimes, he’s spotted around Liberio with a flame-haired boy riding his shoulders, you trailing behind hiding a smile behind some ice-cream.

Different nations, foods, cultures surround you now—citizens of countries coming to settle down roots, spread cuisine to Marley. The idea before, of humans so different than you but still similar at the root of it all, existing, still blows your mind. The technologies that you had never seen before, languages you’d never heard, sights you’d never seen, had all swarmed you as you stepped into a new world with him.

But there is always one thing you’ll come back to.

Leaning against the railing in the port city Reiner told you was the harbour he had left twelve years ago, and returned to seven years ago, you watch the clouds travel in slow drags across the pale blue canvas hung high above your head. The water spans for as far as you can see, glimmering under the sun and gorgeous enough to take your breath away. You pull at your coat across your chest absently, ignoring the tender growl of your stomach. 

Breathing in the salty wind, you feel your chest expand at the litle fishing boats a little ways out.

Reiner was right. You don’t get sick of the sea. You never will—not of this much water. You still remember the first time you had swam in it, the salt-water making your hair crisp, the cold sweat forming on your your sun-warmed skin.

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you spot blonde hair and warm eyes and smile. Your heart flutters a bit. You shift on your feet.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Reiner leans down beside you, and you clasp your hands, letting the sea wind curl against your neck. Reaching to slip his hand in between yours, he sighs and you lean against his shoulder, glancing at their pile of interlaced fingers. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” you whisper, although even still, you can feel a numbing at your fingertips. You remember what it was like to be a Titan, even now. The sensations haunt you—flashes of your own mutated body, the grotesque meat of your hands sinking into the ankles of the man beside you, the bloodcurdling roar spilling out of your throat.

Glancing at their fingers, you watch the flashes of silver of the rings play in the sunlight, your band now having a matching counterpart on his own hand. You grasp his hands tightly, bringing them up to your lips and his own grip tightens when you dust a kiss gently along his scarred knuckles.

“No,” you finally say at length. “I’m not okay. Going back to Paradis makes me nervous as hell, but we’ll manage.” He nods slowly, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck. His own encircle your waist, pulling you flush against him and your eyes close at the familiar warmth—a warmth you’ve woken up next to most days for the past three years. 

“Have you eaten yet?” he murmurs, and your fingers play with the soft edges teasing at your pads as his nose presses against your cheek. Your eyes flutter at the soft heat emanating from his skin, and you shake your head, melting against him. With one arm still around you, he slants his body away from just enough to pull a bag out of his pocket and it crinkles as he hands it to you. Taking it, you frown and look inside.

A cream bun. You can’t help the crumbling in your expression and Reiner holds your face in his hands carefully, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Let’s stay positive,” he whispers. “We don’t know the situation until we get there and Historia briefs us.”

“I know,” you whisper and his entire expression eases at your words. His eyes gaze at you as if you’re the sole centre of his universe, and he cups your jaw more insistently, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, one you ease into, your eyes fluttering shut as his tongue traces the seam of your mouth. Laughing, you feel his little nose scrunch and your heart bounds up into your throat as he pulls back only to kiss you again, softer this time.

“Get a room!” A sharp female voice ruins their moment and you pull back just enough to see a red-headed boy running towards them and Reiner crouches down just in time to scoop Xavier up.

“When are you getting married?” he demands. “I was promised cake when you guys got married.”

“I dunno. When you move out of the house I guess,” you tease and Xavier pouts, rubbing at the side of his nose with the heel of his palm.

“Besides, you got cake for your seventh birthday, buddy,” Reiner groans as the boy twists in his arms. “You’re getting heavy. What are you feeding him?” he adds, smiling roguishly at you and you roll your eyes as Alina and Anya approach, sun hats protecting them from the glaring sun. Alina, grocery bags in hand, waves. Anya, who’d been the one to shout, tucks her coin purse back into her bag before flashing you a great big smile.

Only fifteen and seventeen. You can barely recall what it’s like being that young anymore, but you’re grateful they didn’t spend it the way you did. They get to know beauty, and no limits at all. The former comes naturally, the latter is partially because Reiner spoils them rotten.

Alina picks a flower with velvety purple petals from a bouquet she cradles in her arm, extending it to you.

“For good luck,” she says. “And protection.” Your heart melts at her words and you pause for a moment, looking from the gorgeous bloom to Reiner, occupied with the boy in his arms making silly faces at him. Then, without another moment, you sneak the flower behind his ear and he reaches up immediately to hold it against his head, turning to you in surprise. 

“To protect the both of us,” you explain.

“Thank you. I’ll be extra careful now.” He looks at the girls, setting his free hand on Alina’s head heavily and she flushes, smiling grandly. “You three behave while we’re gone, alright?”

You nod. “Listen to Levi.” 

“And listen to your sister,” Reiner adds to Alina and Xavier. The former rolls her eyes, the latter sticks out his tongue. “I’ll miss you.”

This is their home—their family that tumbles together into a huge hug, and you can’t help but stand back, watching how they all seem to merge into one unit, unaware of where one part of their reach ends and another begins.

As Reiner pulls you into the hug, your heart soars through your body, effortlessly pounding in your throat and in your fingers and everywhere at once. Liquid heat pools everywhere as Xavier screws up his face when you kiss his cheek, the same way Reiner does after he’s eaten something sour.

And maybe it’s a bit different, or a bit broken, the shards of their bloody history still poking at their heels whenever they think you’ve forgotten them, and it’s most definitely not perfect, but you would rather have it like this then anything else.

“Hey, guys!” Breaking apart, the family look over to see Armin, Annie, and Pieck walking over. Gabi and Falco meander a little bit behind, pushing Levi in his wheelchair, and Jean and Connie are running not far behind them, shouting at one another. You stifle a laugh and Xavier shimmies out of Reiner’s hold to run towards them. The girls follow after him, trying to hold back their runs but the closer they get, you can tell the more frantic they are to say goodbye.

So this is what they’ve made a peace. Something, you hope, is good.

Annie bypasses them quickly, making her way over to you and you survey her face as Reiner squeezes your shoulder, walking over to their friends. Her blue eyes are fixed on your face, and you feel your lips curving into a smile as she shoves her hands in her pockets. Her hair is swaying in the wind, gleaming flaxen, and you remind yourself, not for the first time, that Armin and Annie’s kids, if they ever decide they want them, will be gorgeous.

Hope for the future, and all that.

She stops in front of you, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“So,” she says at length, “we’re going back to Paradis. I’m surprised you decided to come with us. You don’t owe any of us anything.”

“I know. But… you’re my best friend. You do the talking, I fly the getaway plane, right?”

“Yeah. There used to be a time when it probably would’ve been the opposite.”

You nod, and they stand in silence for a moment, watching each other. Two women who should not have been friends, but were against all odds. You don’t think you would be here today if it weren’t for Annie.

Your heart lurches and you take a step forward just as she does, her mouth open to say something. You throw your arms around her and she lets out a noise in surprise as you close your eyes. Arms coming underneath yours, her hands dig into your shoulders and you smile against soft hair as she sighs, easing into your hug.

“Finally working together on an actual assignment,” you mumble and her head tilts as her small frame shifts, a hand patting you on the back as a sign for you to back up. “Just like we always said we would.” 

Bluntly: “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“You, too.” Pulling back, the two look at one another for another soft moment before you remember the bag in your hand and you shift the bun up in the bag, extending it towards her. “Want some?” Her eyebrows rise in faint delight, before she’s reaching over, pinching and tearing a piece off. 

You grin and do the same and you gesture for her to come stand by the rails with you, stuffing the bag into your coat pocket. Leaning against the warm metal again, you hear a seagull call. The plane you’ll be flying to Paradis floats on the water, the technicians giving it the final check before you take off.

If anything goes wrong while you help prepare and oversee accommodations for the rest of the ambassador group, you’ll remember to fire the black signal flare, but you trust Historia. You trust your friends.

You glance over at them, all laughing, and you notice that the flower has gone from Reiner to Pieck, who’s taking it out of her dark hair to tuck it into Jean’s, and his cheeks redden as he brushes it more securely behind his ear.

Annie catches your attention again, pointing out idly that they’ll have to separate soon when they finish with the plane, and you tell her to just wait a couple minutes more as Reiner catches your gaze. Setting Xav, who has somehow wormed his way back into his arms, down, he walks back over to you, and his hand trails purposefully over your back before resting at the nape of your neck, a reassuring weight on your body.

“You guys okay?”

“We’re fine,” Annie replies. “You have a clingy boyfriend,” she tells you. 

“I think it’s charming.”

She rolls her eyes. Reiner smiles, and you pat the railing beside you—silent invitation. He leans in on your other side, clasping his hands and watching the fishermen pull themselves to shore, singing a tune to each other—one familiar to all three of them and one that you wish you could get out of your head. 

“Soon may the Wellerman come…”

A faint breeze tickling at your fingertips as a sharp call for embarkment splits the harbour, you simply sigh and look over at Reiner. “I just want these last few moments to last.” His eyes meet yours, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyes. Annie lets out a soft noise of disgust and you bump your hip against her as Reiner pulls back.

Closing your eyes and lifting your head to the wind, you can almost imagine the one person missing standing on the other side of Annie, dark hair like spun, stained bronze and eyes like warm chocolate. He’d smile and tell them not to worry in that sincere way of his that makes you believe every word he says—as long as they were careful, they wouldn’t walk into any traps.

Your chest aches, and your lips tug into a heart-wrenching smile as you begin to sing along. Reiner slips a hand in between yours, pressing his temple against your head and you loop your other arm through Annie’s.

She rests her head on your shoulder, listening to your voice, eyes on the sailors bringing in their haul below them. Reiner hums the shanty softly, distractedly, eyes cast across the sea.

You tilt your head up to the sky, at the stars you cannot see but will join one day, and smile.

[secretsniper2]

A Walk in the Park

Morning, another dreary day ahead, usual routine, put my robe on, brush hair and put in ponytail, bit of makeup. Downstairs for something to eat and some coffee when i see it by the front door, a letter. Bit strange, i don't usually get letters but its addressed to me so why not check it out?

“Dear Emma, Our scouts saw you a few weeks ago and we believe you would be a perfect fit for our next event, you'll receive fair compensation for your time and equipment will be provided on arrival. we hope you accept.”

Looking over the letter again its as simple as its written, it even has a address, time and date, 5pm this Friday? well its not like im busy or anything, i was going to go to the movies with some friends but they bailed on me, and my account is getting rather empty.. sounds interesting.

“At least i now have something to DO in 3 days!” i chuckle to myself.

Sitting around the house with nothing to do, i think ill check out this address today while its broad daylight, its on the other side of town so i can walk through the park on the way and have some fresh air.

Sliding out of my robe i opt for a white shirt with black pants, always a good combo and some typical shoes for the park and walk. Busy today as usual as people rush in every direction on their way to wherever they are going, after a few brushes with clearly eager hands with 1 cupping my ass i manage to get to the park and take a breath, “pretty handsy today” i think to myself as i run my hand over my freshly groped ass. Another breath in and i continue away from the hands on crowd and move on.

Its quite impressive, iv walked past this building a few times before but this will be the first time i actually see the inside, its usually for high end events the kind of which id never enjoy, the high arches over the front door, the marble columns and statues lining the outside. what kind of job will it be anyway? im not good with food.

i shrug as i walk back through the park, longer route than i need but its a nice day to wander.

As i sit on a bench i can hear something i dont think iv ever expected to hear in a park, someone is moaning, quiet enough to not draw much attention but loud enough to hear if you get too close.. like me. Curiosity has me by the tits now as i turn to the bushes behind my chair and look around a large tree. Red hair swaying back and forth as right on the other side of the tree some girl is getting fucked, hard by her restricted moans, a red ballgag wedged tight in her mouth and a blindfold over her eyes, the man wont see me if i stay behind the tree but with his eyes closed he couldn't see the girl his cock is ramming.

The girl has some small clamps on her nipples with her blue minidress pulled down under her breasts and pulled up over her hips, its nothing more than a loose corset right now, 6 inch heels padlocked to her feet and a collar locked around her neck. Rose red cheeks almost glowing with heat as her moans escape the gag, on closer look the man has his cock buried not in her pussy, its her ass he is stuffing, her pussy is vacant but there's something covering it that has a few wires running up her back leading to a purple remote.

My adrenaline skyrockets as the man starts looking around for observers but luckily looked away first so i leaned back around the tree and was not gone as far as they knew, my own cheeks red now after watching what's going on, my own pussy pulsing as arousal sets in, i slowly look around the tree and the man is gone, the redhead is still there, on all 4s and shaking in a euphoric bliss.

A hand, grasping my shoulder and neck, squeezing tight my surprise wasted on a sharp inhale rather than a scream for help, im spun around and his eyes are staring daggers into mine, normally i would be thrashing by now but the sheer surprise, this man who was just fucking the other girl places a wet hand over my mouth. fear over the cause for the wetness keeps my lips sealed as my eyes lock to his own. The remaining hand which had spun me around was already working on my pants, pushing under and into my long since wet panties, his large fingers pushing in without a moments hesitation as his knuckle grinds into my clit.

I orgasm, faster than iv ever cum before, what takes minutes for me with my vibrator took this man seconds with 2 large fingers, 2 large fingers which are now moving like pistons as im spun around yet again, my back to him as his hand that was over my mouth leaves his mark on my lips as my neck is grasped. led from behind to the other girl who is now sitting up, blindfold off and eyes gazing at me, my body under the command of another's forceful insistence.

The hand that had been massaging me close to another orgasm withdraws as he trails my own juices up under my shirt and pinches my nipple through my bra. The man commands and the girl responds by crawling up and begins to pull my pants down, white panties soaked and stuck to my pussy in full view to this woman as my pants are pulled down to my knees. A little giggle from the woman reveals shes removed her gag, handing it to the man who then lowers to the ground, my body falling after him, the woman crawling under my pants and looks up, face now between my legs as my panties are dragged aside by her thin fingers.

As i open my mouth to beg her not to continue i see a flash of red and my mouth widens in surprise, the gag the redhead was wearing, biting and drooling on was now buckled into my own mouth, biting instinctively against the situation the man begins pulling my shirt and bra up over my head. Im helpless and exposed, 1 arm from this man is holding both of mine behind my back and i cant beat his strength. His remaining hand cupping my breasts 1 at a time as his friend peals my panties off my pussy.

“She looks so tasty! how much can i have?” the redhead gleefully says like a child talking about chocolate.

“Till i say so” the man responds in a deep throaty voice.

Its all she needed to hear as her face sinks into my sex, her lips locking with my won and her nose presses against my clit, her tongue working my walls over and then sinking in for a better taste.

To say im the loudest moaner would be natural, of course iv never been gagged and eaten out by another woman before, her nose running back and forth as i cum right on her tongue which she slurped up with a desperation iv never seen on anyone before. the sounds of her moaning into my pussy sending shivers up my spine, why couldn't i just ignore the sounds?

Eyes shooting open at the thought, what if someone else is now watching me cum at the tongue of this woman with a gag in my mouth? ill be seen as the pervert here more than these 2! The hand that had been working my breasts moves again, this time to my gagged mouth, covering it easily he pinches my nose as well, i cant breathe! and this woman has doubled her effort, at this rate ill cum for a 3rd time in as many minutes!

Mind begging for air, brain screaming for it as my eyes fall on the mans face, his cold expression telling me that it wont end soon, muscles tensing as my pussy shakes with a tongue and fingers working hard, another orgasm slurped up by the hungry redhead and still the man holds tight, the woman now focussing on my throbbing clit which, till now has only been rubbed by her nose on occasion, hot lips tight at the base as her tongue caresses as she sucks hard.

a 4th orgasm tears through my body, iv never had 4 in a row, most iv had till now was 2 in a row. These 2 are pushing me and they don't care if i break! Air rushes in as the man releases my nose, waiting for the exhale he pinches again, the woman pressing fingers deep inside, my G-spot being massaged as my clit is sucked.

“Enough Cunt” the man says, loud enough to be heard by just us as the woman breaks away from my throbbing pussy, her handiwork was leading me to a 5th, release the man has taken away as the source of pleasure slides out from between my legs with her face glistening in my pleasure, a smile on her face and eyes on mine. the lights dim as im forced to pass out.. not here, with them.

“nooo..” i weakly say into the gag.

____

Cold, wet, exhausted.. My eyes open and im alone, in a small, secluded alcove of bushes, no one would find her here but why am i here? im in another part of the park entirely! did they really move me while i was unconscious? at least my clothes are all back on, a bit forced, but with a noticeable difference.. my panties are gone, bra too.. my soaked pussy in my pants and rigid nipples rubbing against my shirt, its already chafing and i have barely moved!

“Home is.. that way” i think to myself as i shamble out of the bushes, my pants occasionally making contact with my hypersensitive pussy, my muscles jerk or twitch in response as it takes me 15 minutes to walk 3 minutes with me constantly looking over my shoulders, occasionally looking at others and becoming very aware of my nipples making their presence known to any who would look my way.

Safe, i think. Doors locked as i check the clock on the wall, iv been gone all day! how long was i out? did they do anything to me while i was unconscious? ill have to give my body a look in my room, walking up my stairs i look completely different compared to this morning, my neat hair in a ponytail? now a utter mess, my white shirt not missing a button and my nipples pressing through the thin fabric, my black pants now dirty and panties missing with a soaked pussy just underneath.

Stripping in my room i turn to my mirror, my breasts have bruises, my pussy burning red, clit still throbbing. looking at my soaked pussy my mind drifts back, i could have ran! i could have screamed! but i just watched and wanted and then joined them. was i really that needy? that pent up?

My hand already beating my mind to the punch as my fingers circle my clit, sitting on my bed i fall back as i work hard, my need burning again, harder than usual. My fingers clearly not up to the task i roll over to my bedside table, my toys will scratch this itch as usual, at least to release.

Why? WHY?! why did i enjoy what they did?! the man pinning me with 1 arm and the woman, that redhead, her mouth.. her lips, the skill and determination.. why did i love every second of her attention, rolling over, closing my legs, locking my vibrator against my clit it isnt enough! its always worked before,

“my favourite position and toy have never failed me before” i plead in my head as i curl into a ball as the vibrations stir me into a frenzy, memories of what happened still fresh in my mind, nipples pinched, clit sucked, pussy devoured.

“nnnngh! Cmmmm NNNNNNN” i grunt into my pillow!

why wont it work! i need to, i want to cum! why why whyyy! my mind racing with desire when a thought rose up. Moving my arms behind my back i grab my elbows with my hands and squeeze hard, i bite my pillow and moan as a colossal orgasm tears my pussy to pieces on its way out! the single largest orgasm iv ever had and my arms race to the vibrator and turn it off with tears in my eyes, i know what they did to me.. but what did they do to me?

[redcreekstudios]

Red Creek chapter 3: As i said

Warning: this story contains, violence, weapons, death, suicide, gore, horror aspects, and other forms of death and horror, talk of spirits religion and the underworld and things manifested in between. if not prepared do not read i wouldn't want anyone to get triggered

The man at the bar looked twords clark and laughed "long time ago i had met the man they called mountain man, it was an unlikely greet but shit it was better than getting lost as for the night well things changed" Clark rose his brow and narrowed his eyes "the legend whats the connection?" he asked just wanting answers and the old man smirked "as i said this town is more than a town...its history living" he said laughing "but as for the legend it uh jeez give me a moment oh oh yes i remember now a man had moved into this town when it was just a hotel a bar and a couple businesses strung on the road" he sipped from his shot glass and he looked at the wall "no one knew his name just a random stranger his wagon had holes and looked old and burned but was carrying his wife and two kids" Clark tapped the counter "and the point is?" the old man looked at him quickly "its a story give me a moment" he said as he looked around "now where was i? oh yes the man had dirty hands and cloths everyone was bothered by him he was eerie and as winter closed in it had taken the lives of his wife and two kids and well he wasn't happy, in a fit of grief the man came to this very bar and killed three men bam just like that and sat on one of these seats and was arrested drinking as the bodies layed at his feet so he was banished seeing how it would be cruel to leave a prisoner in a cold hard prison cell and he was in the woods never to be seen again people soon went missing by night and were found in...weird ways and i believe you saw him" Clark got up "i aint got time for this shit..." he said taking his hat and looked outside "you know son thats what i said and then i saw him again...take care now deputy and pray he dont find you astray off the road" he said laughing as the band played "sure thing" the old man huffed as victor looked at him "you didnt need to do that Otis" he said cleaning a glass "it has its meaning any who ya have a good one two vic see ya tomorrow its poker night!" he said laughing. down the road clark wandered to the edge of town where the sidewalk ends and he took a deep breath as he looked out seeing a lamppost the mist highlighted by the light as it shifted almost dancing under the light in a current like motion as he blinked for a moment and there stood a shadowy figure holding a lantern and hatchet with the yellow eyes and cloak and his old boots "what in the..." the man slowly shifted his way to him as with every blink he drew closer and closer and the words in his head would repeat "mountain man....mountain man" and as he got closer it got louder "mountain man! mountain man!" his blood would race as did his heart beat fast, his hands shaking as his hairs stood on end as the man stood at Clark's feet, he smelled of death and wet trees as he could vividly see a wooden mask with the yellow lights as his eyes and the man whispered "i...am...good" he said and took Clark's hand and left a burn mark on it "i...will...see...you...soon" the being said as Clark was frozen in fear feeling the burn of on his hand, he looked down at his hand as he listend to the man whisper, he could barely hear the mans raspy voice and looked back up and he was gone "what the hell" his vision blurred and he passed out on the side of the road.

he opened his eyes and he was in a clearing in the woods and there was a cabin with a dead tree standing next to it and he would look around as confused as he was he moved closer to the cabin slowly opening the door to a skeleton laid halfway on a table and chair with a knife in his hand as there was an old shelf oven and seats. the place smelled of moss and smoke as there was a hum in the other room as he walked closer the humming got louder his heart began to pace and his hairs would stand on end as the cryptic humming got louder and he made a stop as he put his hand on the doorknob and he waited and made his way to the room and walked in, there was no one there and he looked at his foot as a drop of blood fell from the ceiling and onto his boot, he held his breath hearing his heartbeat as something grabbed him snapped his neck. he woke up in his bed in a sweat breathing heavily looking around himself making sure he wasn't dead. he looked at his hand and there was a burn mark looked like a skull in a way and he wrapped his hand in bandages as he looked in the mirror seeing a shadow man and its eyes were cut out with light along with its big smile and he turned around fast seeing nothing and he looked back to the mirror and it wasn't there "what in the hell..." he spoke to himself and washed his face getting ready for work and went by the bar and looked around "oi deputy mornin how ya doin?" clark kept silent as he walked to the bar "victor you know any hunters or anyone that spends time out in the woods alot?" he seemed distressed as he clenched his bandaged hand, vic put his hand on his chin and looked at him "no sorry...oh wait wait Otis is always talking about this one guy, ahh his name his name.. oh yeah Marcus he can help ya dep" victor glanced at his hand and rose a brow "what happened there?" Clark wrote down the name and looked up fixing his hat "nothing just tired and had an accident" he said looking up at a framed newsletter and it said three dead in bar bar burns down after bodies not recovered, he focused his sight and he saw three shadow men again and they were moving close to him and Clark looked behind him "hey vic when...when did you get that" he said looking at the framed piece again not seeing the figures "oh that? Otis gave it to me yesterday after your little legend talk haha why do ya ask" he said smiling leaning on the counter "you dont buy it do ya?" he said laughing as Clark looked at victor and shook his head "no i, i dont i gotta go" he said leaving the building and walked to Otis's and knocked on the door "Otis its deputy henslin may i ask you a question?" he said putting the paper away as the door slowly opened and he smiled "oh hey dep whaddya need?" he said kindly as Clark took his sunglasses off and shook his head "vic told me you know a Marcus? guy knows the woods right basically spends all his time out there like hank?" Otis smiled and nodded "yeah me and Marcus knew hank all to well sad to hear he aint alive...but as for Marcus hes probably getting ready to leave you might catch him hes just down the lot here over in uh...oh C17" Clark smiled and nodded "thank you thank you thank you Otis your first drink is on me i gotta go" he said running back to his car and got in and drove to where it was and there was an old muscle car and the garage open as the man had a trucker hat and a vest he was young surprisingly any relation to Otis or hank it was hard to tell, Clark got out of the cruiser and walked onto the driveway "Marcus?" the man loading the trunk would stand up "yeah what...i have all the permits and my rent is in was it Martha she always complains" Clark put his hands in his pockets "no Marcus im deputy Henslin and i need you for a little investigation" Marcus rose a brow and closed the trunk "what for dep?" he ask leaning on the back of the car "well i heard there was a cabin in the woods somewhere im looking for it...might be connected to the hank situation i got going on and i know you two where close" Marcus looked off to the side and scoffed a bit "the trapper cabin? no sir

i aint going there" Clark took his glasses off and looked at Marcus in the eye "so youve seen it?" Marcus nodded as he crossed his arms "yeah i have, it aint fun place is creepy has the smell of death coming off it" he said as Clark nodded "i just need you to show me it thats all i need" Marcus thought for a moment and nodded "get in ill take ya" he said opening the door of the car and Clark got in the passenger seat, he started the car and slowly started off the way as he looked out the window "so tell me Marcus how long do you spend out here" Marcus turned the radio down a bit and took his shades and adjusted them "i spend enough time to know the layout and help lost people if thats what your asking" he said smiling a bit "but that cabin you wanna see it...its ominous place looks like its seen something bad" he continued driving down the road as Clark looked out the window. After a while they made it to a gate and pulled in on the side "this is where we go on foot deputy" he said getting out and opening the trunk and grabbed a shotgun as Clark watched him "nice piece" Marcus looked at him "it was hanks he gave it to me after our first hunt...guy was great" he said sounding down "alright lets go to this creepy ass cabin" he said walking through the woods. the trees towering them as the green clashed with the brown and grey rocks some weird trenches here and there but it was sure a sight to see from clarks angle as he slowly followed. the sun had itself center in the sky by the time the trees ended into grass "deputy eyes up we got your cabin" he said pointing and Clark rose up next to Marcus and looked forward and in his eyes the sky flashed a blood red like a static tv fighting for a station, he stood wide eyed watching the cabin as it went silent and it was almost like it was just him in the center of the universe

[secretsniper3]

A Walk in the Park

Morning, another dreary day ahead, usual routine, put my robe on, brush hair and put in ponytail, bit of makeup. Downstairs for something to eat and some coffee when i see it by the front door, a letter. Bit strange, i don't usually get letters but its addressed to me so why not check it out?

“Dear Emma, Our scouts saw you a few weeks ago and we believe you would be a perfect fit for our next event, you'll receive fair compensation for your time and equipment will be provided on arrival. we hope you accept.”

Looking over the letter again its as simple as its written, it even has a address, time and date, 5pm this Friday? well its not like im busy or anything, i was going to go to the movies with some friends but they bailed on me, and my account is getting rather empty.. sounds interesting.

“At least i now have something to DO in 3 days!” i chuckle to myself.

Sitting around the house with nothing to do, i think ill check out this address today while its broad daylight, its on the other side of town so i can walk through the park on the way and have some fresh air.

Sliding out of my robe i opt for a white shirt with black pants, always a good combo and some typical shoes for the park and walk. Busy today as usual as people rush in every direction on their way to wherever they are going, after a few brushes with clearly eager hands with 1 cupping my ass i manage to get to the park and take a breath, “pretty handsy today” i think to myself as i run my hand over my freshly groped ass. Another breath in and i continue away from the hands on crowd and move on.

Its quite impressive, iv walked past this building a few times before but this will be the first time i actually see the inside, its usually for high end events the kind of which id never enjoy, the high arches over the front door, the marble columns and statues lining the outside. what kind of job will it be anyway? im not good with food.

i shrug as i walk back through the park, longer route than i need but its a nice day to wander.

As i sit on a bench i can hear something i dont think iv ever expected to hear in a park, someone is moaning, quiet enough to not draw much attention but loud enough to hear if you get too close.. like me. Curiosity has me by the tits now as i turn to the bushes behind my chair and look around a large tree. Red hair swaying back and forth as right on the other side of the tree some girl is getting fucked, hard by her restricted moans, a red ballgag wedged tight in her mouth and a blindfold over her eyes, the man wont see me if i stay behind the tree but with his eyes closed he couldn't see the girl his cock is ramming.

The girl has some small clamps on her nipples with her blue minidress pulled down under her breasts and pulled up over her hips, its nothing more than a loose corset right now, 6 inch heels padlocked to her feet and a collar locked around her neck. Rose red cheeks almost glowing with heat as her moans escape the gag, on closer look the man has his cock buried not in her pussy, its her ass he is stuffing, her pussy is vacant but there's something covering it that has a few wires running up her back leading to a purple remote.

My adrenaline skyrockets as the man starts looking around for observers but luckily looked away first so i leaned back around the tree and was not gone as far as they knew, my own cheeks red now after watching what's going on, my own pussy pulsing as arousal sets in, i slowly look around the tree and the man is gone, the redhead is still there, on all 4s and shaking in a euphoric bliss.

A hand, grasping my shoulder and neck, squeezing tight my surprise wasted on a sharp inhale rather than a scream for help, im spun around and his eyes are staring daggers into mine, normally i would be thrashing by now but the sheer surprise, this man who was just fucking the other girl places a wet hand over my mouth. fear over the cause for the wetness keeps my lips sealed as my eyes lock to his own. The remaining hand which had spun me around was already working on my pants, pushing under and into my long since wet panties, his large fingers pushing in without a moments hesitation as his knuckle grinds into my clit.

I orgasm, faster than iv ever cum before, what takes minutes for me with my vibrator took this man seconds with 2 large fingers, 2 large fingers which are now moving like pistons as im spun around yet again, my back to him as his hand that was over my mouth leaves his mark on my lips as my neck is grasped. led from behind to the other girl who is now sitting up, blindfold off and eyes gazing at me, my body under the command of another's forceful insistence.

The hand that had been massaging me close to another orgasm withdraws as he trails my own juices up under my shirt and pinches my nipple through my bra. The man commands and the girl responds by crawling up and begins to pull my pants down, white panties soaked and stuck to my pussy in full view to this woman as my pants are pulled down to my knees. A little giggle from the woman reveals shes removed her gag, handing it to the man who then lowers to the ground, my body falling after him, the woman crawling under my pants and looks up, face now between my legs as my panties are dragged aside by her thin fingers.

As i open my mouth to beg her not to continue i see a flash of red and my mouth widens in surprise, the gag the redhead was wearing, biting and drooling on was now buckled into my own mouth, biting instinctively against the situation the man begins pulling my shirt and bra up over my head. Im helpless and exposed, 1 arm from this man is holding both of mine behind my back and i cant beat his strength. His remaining hand cupping my breasts 1 at a time as his friend peals my panties off my pussy.

“She looks so tasty! how much can i have?” the redhead gleefully says like a child talking about chocolate.

“Till i say so” the man responds in a deep throaty voice.

Its all she needed to hear as her face sinks into my sex, her lips locking with my won and her nose presses against my clit, her tongue working my walls over and then sinking in for a better taste.

To say im the loudest moaner would be natural, of course iv never been gagged and eaten out by another woman before, her nose running back and forth as i cum right on her tongue which she slurped up with a desperation iv never seen on anyone before. the sounds of her moaning into my pussy sending shivers up my spine, why couldn't i just ignore the sounds?

Eyes shooting open at the thought, what if someone else is now watching me cum at the tongue of this woman with a gag in my mouth? ill be seen as the pervert here more than these 2! The hand that had been working my breasts moves again, this time to my gagged mouth, covering it easily he pinches my nose as well, i cant breathe! and this woman has doubled her effort, at this rate ill cum for a 3rd time in as many minutes!

Mind begging for air, brain screaming for it as my eyes fall on the mans face, his cold expression telling me that it wont end soon, muscles tensing as my pussy shakes with a tongue and fingers working hard, another orgasm slurped up by the hungry redhead and still the man holds tight, the woman now focussing on my throbbing clit which, till now has only been rubbed by her nose on occasion, hot lips tight at the base as her tongue caresses as she sucks hard.

a 4th orgasm tears through my body, iv never had 4 in a row, most iv had till now was 2 in a row. These 2 are pushing me and they don't care if i break! Air rushes in as the man releases my nose, waiting for the exhale he pinches again, the woman pressing fingers deep inside, my G-spot being massaged as my clit is sucked.

“Enough Cunt” the man says, loud enough to be heard by just us as the woman breaks away from my throbbing pussy, her handiwork was leading me to a 5th, release the man has taken away as the source of pleasure slides out from between my legs with her face glistening in my pleasure, a smile on her face and eyes on mine. the lights dim as im forced to pass out.. not here, with them.

“nooo..” i weakly say into the gag.

____

Cold, wet, exhausted.. My eyes open and im alone, in a small, secluded alcove of bushes, no one would find her here but why am i here? im in another part of the park entirely! did they really move me while i was unconscious? at least my clothes are all back on, a bit forced, but with a noticeable difference.. my panties are gone, bra too.. my soaked pussy in my pants and rigid nipples rubbing against my shirt, its already chafing and i have barely moved!

“Home is.. that way” i think to myself as i shamble out of the bushes, my pants occasionally making contact with my hypersensitive pussy, my muscles jerk or twitch in response as it takes me 15 minutes to walk 3 minutes with me constantly looking over my shoulders, occasionally looking at others and becoming very aware of my nipples making their presence known to any who would look my way.

Safe, i think. Doors locked as i check the clock on the wall, iv been gone all day! how long was i out? did they do anything to me while i was unconscious? ill have to give my body a look in my room, walking up my stairs i look completely different compared to this morning, my neat hair in a ponytail? now a utter mess, my white shirt not missing a button and my nipples pressing through the thin fabric, my black pants now dirty and panties missing with a soaked pussy just underneath.

Stripping in my room i turn to my mirror, my breasts have bruises, my pussy burning red, clit still throbbing. looking at my soaked pussy my mind drifts back, i could have ran! i could have screamed! but i just watched and wanted and then joined them. was i really that needy? that pent up?

My hand already beating my mind to the punch as my fingers circle my clit, sitting on my bed i fall back as i work hard, my need burning again, harder than usual. My fingers clearly not up to the task i roll over to my bedside table, my toys will scratch this itch as usual, at least to release.

Why? WHY?! why did i enjoy what they did?! the man pinning me with 1 arm and the woman, that redhead, her mouth.. her lips, the skill and determination.. why did i love every second of her attention, rolling over, closing my legs, locking my vibrator against my clit it isnt enough! its always worked before,

“my favourite position and toy have never failed me before” i plead in my head as i curl into a ball as the vibrations stir me into a frenzy, memories of what happened still fresh in my mind, nipples pinched, clit sucked, pussy devoured.

“nnnngh! Cmmmm NNNNNNN” i grunt into my pillow!

why wont it work! i need to, i want to cum! why why whyyy! my mind racing with desire when a thought rose up. Moving my arms behind my back i grab my elbows with my hands and squeeze hard, i bite my pillow and moan as a colossal orgasm tears my pussy to pieces on its way out! the single largest orgasm iv ever had and my arms race to the vibrator and turn it off with tears in my eyes, i know what they did to me.. but what did they do to me?

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through IV

Chapter: 4/16

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Once Ringo had managed to compose himself, which took far longer than he'd care to admit, he ventured back out into the chaos of the club in search of John. He wasn't difficult to find, standing at the front of the stage cheering - practically screaming - and waving money around to get the dancer's attention. Unsurprisingly, the dancer was Paul. He was currently spinning around the pole with one hand, his ankles entwined to give him support. It was quite a beautiful sight, Ringo thought, watching his gentle movements. The club was considerably more empty by this point and the remainder of the customers had circled around the stage. Ringo slinked past a few drunken layabouts as he made his way over to John, he had to shout in his ear just to get his attention.

"Oh, Ringo!" John grinned, his breath stank of whiskey "How'd it go?"

"A little too well." Ringo chuckled, he coaxed John to sit down.

"Did he almost kill you this time?" John only passed Ringo a few glances, mostly his attention was on Paul.

"I think he did kill me. Then brought me back. Then killed me again." Ringo picked up John's drink and took a sip "Are they supposed to touch you?"

John paused his shouting for a moment "Touch you how?"

"Just... Y'know, touching. Getting me to touch him, him touching my chest." Ringo decided to leave out the crotch contact, he still wasn't sure whether it was intentional or not.

"Oh yeah, that's fine. As long as you're both consenting o'course. And as long as he's not dropping on his knees and sucking you off." John laughed and Ringo almost choked on the drink, the image those words conjured up was a surprising one.

"How much longer are you planning on staying?" Ringo settled back in his seat and turned his attention to Paul.

"Why? You in a hurry to get home and bash one out?" John nudged him without pulling his eyes away from the stage.

"Speak for yourself." Ringo scoffed, he didn't see the point in denying it.

"We can head out after Paulie's done." John nodded to gesture towards the man in question.

"Fine." Ringo stretched his legs out in front of him.

If he hadn't been so exhausted from Spike, Ringo probably would've gotten a little excited watching Paul but he was completely worn out. John had a shine in his eyes that Ringo didn't see very often, and his happiness was definitely contagious. They sat watching Paul for another two songs, during which he exhibited a ridiculous amount of core strength that Ringo could only dream of ever achieving. It was obvious that John was hoping to catch Paul before they headed back home, as much as he was trying to hide it, and Ringo probably would've hung around with him had he not been so exhausted or so sure that John was probably going to be back here within the week. In truth the main reason Ringo wanted to get out of there so quickly was because he didn't want to risk seeing Spike again, or rather Spike seeing him again; Ringo happily could've watched him from a safe distance all night but as soon as Spike was looking right back at him, knowing what Ringo was thinking, that was too much.

The cold night air stung Ringo's face and hands as they stepped back out into the street. Luckily his car wasn't too far away and while he was perhaps a little too tipsy to be driving he made sure he stayed off the main roads and never went over the speed limit - he could drive recklessly when he was sober but he'd never risk that when he was drunk. John was the only one talking on the drive back to his place, mostly rambling about things Ringo couldn't understand so he just nodded along and made affirming noises.

John leaned on Ringo for support as they walked up to his front door, Ringo knew he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't walk but he tended to do this when he was feeling a little lonely. Ringo had gotten more than used to it by now, he'd had to carry John to bed bridal style many times over the years so this was nothing. John fell face first down onto his bed which was still unmade and either fell asleep immediately or wanted Ringo to think he had. It had almost become a routine by this point: Ringo drove them home, carried John up to his room, left a glass of water by his bed and tidied up a few bits and pieces on his way out. Occasionally he'd check in John's fridge to see if he had any food in and if it was empty, which it often was, he'd offer to buy or cook the two of them dinner the next day. Ringo wasn't the subtlest about it sometimes, once or twice he'd even shown up with bags filled with groceries and left after handing them over without much of an explanation. John never acknowledged any of these things Ringo did, at least not verbally, but Ringo knew he appreciated them and he was sure John repaid the favour in some ways he wasn't aware of, or very aware of in the case of tonight.

Exhaustion hit like a strong wave once Ringo finally got back to his own place. He kicked off his shoes carelessly in the hallway and staggered into his bedroom; he didn't dare look at the time before he slid into bed, just chucked his phone into the furthest corner hoping that he'd remembered to set his alarm for the following morning. As soon as his head hit the pillow he expected to fall asleep almost instantly but his brain had other ideas. His body was definitely ready for sleep, his eyes were stinging and his muscles ached a little yet his mind was racing. This didn't happen a lot. Ringo was notoriously known for how well he slept and how loudly he snored but tonight that wasn't the case. He couldn't shake the images of the night from his mind or how warm Spike's skin had felt beneath his fingertips or the inviting smell of him. Ringo let out a groan as he tossed and turned, as though vigorous movement would throw the thoughts out of his head. The last thing he wanted to do was give into the urge but the first thing he wanted to do was sleep, and it was a pretty strong urge. Was there any better way to get to sleep than a quick orgasm? Probably. Ringo just had to tell himself that he was doing this purely for that purpose, as he wanked himself off under the covers with his eyes scrunched tightly and his brain filled with thoughts of Spike.

The following day was fairly uneventful, Ringo was up on time to sit eating breakfast in front of the television for an hour before he had to head out for work. It was his weekly lesson with a kid called Peter, he was nice enough and his parents were more than pleasant if not a little stupid. He'd been working with Peter for almost a year and while he'd made a great deal of progress since their first lesson he wasn't showing a massive amount of promise, but at least he was trying. Sometimes Ringo felt like speaking to his parents privately and breaking the news that their son wasn't going to become a world famous drummer, probably not even a locally famous one, but he needed the money too much. Peter was better than a lot of Ringo's students, most of which had watched Whiplash a few too many times and decided they wanted to be the next John Bonham only to give up in two months because it was 'too hard'.

After their lesson ended Ringo decided to walk around town for a little while, usually he'd be out in search of lunch by now but Peter's parents always prepared him some food which he was never too polite to refuse - after all smoked salmon was considerably more appetising than a tepid sausage roll from Greggs. He decided to pop into his favourite record shop, although it wasn't like there were many others to choose from. Despite the accessibility to music his phone provided, Ringo always had a deep love for vinyl records; they were nostalgic somehow, even if they had no significance to his own childhood. Like most record shops, this one sold a fair bit of vintage clothing too although Ringo was never too interested in that. He didn't really have any particular record in mind as he walked in so ended up browsing through the plethora of options. There was only one other person in the shop, excluding the owner who sat behind the counter and gave Ringo a welcoming smile, but it sounded like there were a couple of people downstairs in the clothing section. As Ringo began to flick through some of the records his phone buzzed in his pocket.

        can you bring me coffee???

It was John, which was a little surprising considering he usually didn't wake up until far later in the afternoon if he'd been drinking heavily the night before.

         hello to you too

        i dont have time for formalities i need COFFEE

         why dont you have any coffee in your house

         i dont have time for questions either

         any coffee in particular my liege?

         ha ha          just get me one from maccies pleaseeee

         fine im just in town atm can you wait like 10 mins

         suppose ill have to

         suddenly im too busy

         shut up just bring me coffee ill love you forever and all that

         i should bloody think so too

Ringo chuckled to himself quietly as he put his phone back into his pocket, he took a final quick look at the stack of records then began making his way outside. Before he could make it to the door he suddenly collided with someone who had been turning up from the staircase, which resulted in a few pieces of clothing flying upwards and landing on the ground. Ringo began apologising immediately, crouching down to pick up the clothes to hand them back over. As he straightened back up to apologise for perhaps the fourth time he froze upon seeing exactly who he'd bumped into.

"Spike." Ringo blurted out, his brain had decided to throw the name out as soon as it crossed his mind.

"Only after 9." He responded instantaneously, it must've been a frequent line he used "Do I... Oh! It's you."

"The very same." Ringo chuckled nervously, he wondered whether he'd actually recognised him or was just being polite - Ringo couldn't decide which one he'd prefer.

It was very strange seeing him like this, so normal that it was abnormal. He was wearing a dark blue turtleneck which framed his sharp jaw and hugged his slim body nicely. Over that lay a yellow beaded necklace and his trousers were a dark suede material; he looked good, somehow more alluring when he was fully clothed. Ringo noticed he was staring, he only hoped that Spike hadn't noticed but it was impossible to tell with the unreadable darkness of his eyes. He cleared his throat, as if he couldn't get any more obvious, then held out the patterned shirt he'd picked up so Spike could take it from him. Their hands brushed slightly at the exchange and Ringo felt the hairs on his arm standing up.

"They're nice, er- Nice clothes." Ringo stammered, yanking his hand back to his side.

"Suppose I should be thanking you for them." Spike replied, there was a faint smile on his lips.

"Oh?" Ringo heard the pitch of his voice rising slightly.

"You helped pay for them." Spike explained, the smile grew.

"Well John paid, really. But he does owe me money so I guess I did pay in a way. Glad to see the money's going somewhere good either way." Ringo rambled, once again his mouth was moving before his brain could stop it.

"Right." Spike said, his tone was very final yet he didn't move to leave.

"I best be getting out of your way so you can actually pay for those." Ringo shuffled sideways towards the door, expecting Spike to step backwards to give him some room but he just stood there looking at him - was it not enough to make him suffer at the club, did he have to punish him now too?

"Are you always this nervous?" Spike grinned.

"No I- You just caught me by surprise is all." Ringo forced himself to take a deep breath.

"Okay." Spike squinted his eyes slightly then turned to head towards the counter.

Ringo was surprised he was able to get back to his car without collapsing, all the tension leaving his body as soon as Spike's eyes were off him made him feel practically boneless. Spike didn't look back at him but Ringo supposed he didn't have to, he would've known he was staring at him. Ringo gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove, somehow managing to make it to the drive-through without consciously driving there. He ordered a coffee for John and a milkshake for himself, he figured he could do with a pick-me-up after that atrocious encounter. Not once in all the times he'd gone to that shop had he seen Spike there, and it couldn't have been a case of merely not noticing him before because Ringo definitely would've noticed someone looking like that walking around. It felt like God was playing some cruel trick on him, but in reality it was nothing more than a coincidence married with Spike's cruelty which produced that painful exchange. Ringo tried not to think about it as he drove over to John's but his brain had apparently decided to betray him, just as his mouth had done earlier.

John had took a while to answer the door and Ringo began to worry that he'd fallen back asleep - it was times like this that he figured he may as well have a key to his place. When the door swung open, Ringo burst in a little too aggressively and knocked John backwards slightly.

"Jesus, what's crawled up your arse?" John chuckled as he closed the door "Don't tell me the ice cream machine was broken again."

John's presence calmed Ringo significantly but he couldn't shake the tension in his body completely "Guess who I just bumped into." He set the drinks down on John's kitchen table and took a seat.

"Ooh was it that guy from the train station? Or how about-" John took a seat opposite him and gripped the coffee eagerly.

"You're not actually meant to guess." Ringo interrupted, he tried to sound commanding but it was a little difficult when he was holding a strawberry milkshake.

"Then don't say 'guess' you git. The English language is wasted on you." John put his feet up on the table "Who was it then?"

"Spike." Ringo widened his eyes.

"No shit. Really?" John cackled "What happened?"

"I was at that record shop and he was coming up from the basement and I walked straight into him." Ringo explained.

"Nothing straight about it." John mumbled behind his coffee.

"Funny." Ringo glared "It was so fucking embarrassing, I could hardly speak."

"What did he say?" John asked.

"Nothing really. He probably said about three words so I figured he didn't want to talk to me but he just stood there. I didn't want to be rude and just rush out but looking back I probably should've." Ringo sighed.

"Yeah, you probably should've." John snickered.

"Not helping."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I dunno... I'm sure it wasn't that bad or something."

"Well, was it that bad?"

"He asked me if I was always so nervous."

John burst into laughter "Jesus, Ringo. That's pretty bad."

"Guess that's the last time I'll be going to the strip club, or the record shop for that matter."

"Don't be so dramatic. So you were a little awkward in front of him, who cares?"

"I care."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want him thinking I'm some sort of loser."

"Why do you give a shit what he thinks?"

Ringo didn't say anything, he just held his cup tightly and looked at John straight in the eye.

"Look, you've got nothing to get so worked up about. If he thought you were so pathetic he wouldn't have even spoken to you." John lifted his feet off the table and leaned forward in his seat "He's just messing with you, probably thinks it's funny."

"He was smiling." Ringo mumbled.

"Well there you go." John reached his hand forward and poked at Ringo's arm "You're being ridiculous. Chances are you won't bump into him again, you've gone your whole life without doing it before."

"But-" Ringo began.

"No buts! Unless they're butts on the stage covered in leather I don't wanna hear it." John interrupted "Bottom line is you like watching this guy strip right?"

"Well, yeah-" Ringo tried again.

"So what's the problem? It's not like you found out he's your cousin or one of your students, is it?" John smiled warmly.

"Suppose not." Ringo couldn't help smiling too.

"We really need to get you laid, it's making you crazy. I'm supposed to be the crazy one, don't try and take that away from me." John leaned back in his chair again.

"I don't intend to." Ringo chuckled looking down at his feet.

"So... Same time next week?" John raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"You really hate me, don't you?"

"On the contrary! I love you very much, my dear Ringo. That's exactly why I'm gonna take you back there so you can prove you're not some pathetic weirdo."

"How exactly?"

"Just be yourself, you can manage that can't you?"

"Not quite sure I want to."

"Oh hush. Leave the self-deprecation to me if you don't mind." John paused to sip his coffee "This time next week you'll have forgotten all about this, and I'm sure he will too."

"I guess you're right."

But John hadn't been right. Ringo had thought about that small exchange for days. He found himself picking apart every small moment and trying to rationalise it in his mind: had Spike actually recognised him? Why did he just stand there while Ringo tried to squeeze past? Why had been smiling so strangely the whole time? No matter how many answers Ringo tried to give to himself, the whole situation only became more confusing. He felt like a teenager again, stumbling over his words and blushing at the tiniest bit of contact. It was pathetic, shameful really. Maybe if he just took John's advice and actually went and slept with someone all these weird feelings would just be gone. But he didn't want just someone, he wanted him.

[burntpastel]

late (ch2)

(On AO3)

Summary: Midoriya is acting unusual. Aizawa sends Mic to investigate.

Notes: A second chapter to Late, commissioned by Ivyblush and theDavynator on AO3! thank you again!!

CW rape, underage, age difference, teen pregnancy, lactation, trans deku

raping people is evil. adults who date and/or fuck minors are evil. dont do it, and and don’t base any real life relationships or choices off the content of fanfics.

18+, grapefruit, explicit, etc.

"Midoriya skipped training again today," Aizawa casually announces without turning away from the paper he's grading.

It didn't surprise Hizashi when Midoriya took a couple days off school and holed up in his dorm room for a while–or when he finally came out but barely ate, got terrible grades, and was often found puking in the restrooms. That's normal behavior after he fucks a student.

It's not, however, normal for these things to persist five whole months down the line. Maybe they'd remain a little dour, sure, but usually they bounced back by a month or so (if they didn't just drop out.) Yet, the bags beneath Midoriya's eyes just seem to be getting deeper and deeper, his grades never really improve (even with Hizashi padding them where he can) and he still hears Midoriya retching from the bathrooms whenever he watches the dorms.

"Oh yeah?" Hizashi replies in the same manner, hands busy with pouring himself a cup of coffee without getting burned by their shitty leaky carafe.

He isn't sure if Midoriya's just more sensitive than his previous students, or if it has to do with living on campus with him, or if it's… something else. Still, Hizashi doesn’t really love facing the icky aftermath of his actions (beyond seeing the newfound fear in his students’ eyes), so he’s never bothered to confront Midoriya about it.

He and Aizawa are alone in the teacher's lounge, everyone else having scattered to eat their lunch elsewhere. Aizawa stays quiet while Hizashi brings his lunch over to the coffee table and begins settling in across from him.

"What happened that night Midoriya went missing for an hour on your watch?" he asks before bringing his own coffee to his lips, watching Hizashi carefully over the rim.

Hizashi peels back the plastic surrounding his sandwich.

"He broke curfew, so I gave him a stern talking to." He takes a bite. "You'd be proud."

Aizawa's eyes narrow. He looks away as he sets his cup back down, fixing his gaze on the table.

"...Do you always have to go after my students," he asks, quiet. "You teach other classes."

"What can I say? I like 'em with a little muscle. Makes it better when they don't even use it."

Aizawa just sighs.

"Can you blame me? I was under the impression you had the same tastes, Shouta."

"Don't call me that," Aizawa snaps, then continues, "You're going to get caught."

"Hey, I think if he hasn't told anyone after five months then I'm in the clear."

"He won't have to talk about it if he keeps missing school. Someone's going to start asking questions eventually."

Hizashi frowns, because that's true. Usually he wouldn't be too worried about that with the addition of the dorms–no prying parents to worry about–but Midoriya and All Might seem to have a weirdly close bond, and All Might's really the only one out of the loop at this point.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Hizashi asks, bemused. "They usually get better on their own."

"I don't know. Did you…" Aizawa pauses, rethinking his question. "Is there a chance that he's pregnant?"

"Probably," Hizashi mumbles, avoiding eye contact by staring down the food in his hands. He doubts the kid was on any birth control; he doesn't seem very popular with the guys (or anyone else, for that matter) and Hizashi failed to remind him that emergency contraceptives were an option.

Aizawa closes his eyes and sighs, leaning back against his seat while Hizashi eats.

Eventually, Hizashi speaks up. "Look, I'll talk to him about it later, okay?"

"I doubt he'll want to talk to you," Aizawa retorts.

"Well, are you gonna ask him?"

Aizawa falls silent.

"I'll talk to him," Hizashi affirms.

Midoriya has a fairly solid routine of stopping by the restrooms after school ends, so Hizashi decides to wait outside for him. Leaning against the wall just beyond the door, he can distantly hear him heaving. It's pretty convenient, actually, because by the time he finally finishes up the hallways have emptied out. (Hizashi would have thought he'd take more care not to end up alone, considering, but he supposes illness waits for no one.)

Midoriya doesn't notice him at first when he emerges, shrugging his backpack back on as he stumbles forward in a daze, his face pale and hair stuck to his forehead with sweat.

"Hey–"

Midoriya startles hard. His eyes are often dull as of late but they quickly fill up with fear as he processes who he's staring at. He takes a step back but Hizashi is quick to grab his arm.

"Ah-ah! We need to talk."

Gasping, Midoriya struggles as Hizashi tugs him towards one of the now empty classrooms. Either he's too out of it to think to use his quirk, or he knows better. Hizashi slides the door open and shoves him inside. He's quick to straighten up and start backing away, putting a few desks between them while Hizashi shuts the door behind them.

"Sit down. I just wanna talk." Hizashi pulls out a seat himself, figuring that if he's seated then Midoriya may be more inclined to follow. He does, reluctantly–eyes locked on Hizashi as he eases down into a chair a somewhat awkward distance away, keeping his hands braced on the back and the desk, like he's ready to leap up at any second.

Hizashi leans back, crossing his arms and scowling at the kid, like all this is his fault.

"People are starting to get worried about how sick you've been."

Instantly Midoriya's eyes drop to the floor, practically wincing. He makes no effort to fill him in.

Hizashi tilts his head. "Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

Midoriya doesn't answer, but the way he bursts into tears speaks loud and clear.

Damn unlucky kid.

Hizashi rolls his eyes and groans, his stomach sinking as he slides down in his chair. He technically knew his 'birth control plan' of never fucking the same kid twice was failable, but it had worked up until now (to his knowledge, anyway–not like he'd know if any of the previous kids went out and got an abortion on their own.)

"What are you doing, kid? It's been five months! Go to Recovery Girl–she does abortions all quiet for the hero course."

Midoriya's arms protectively cross over his stomach as he sobs, shaking his head almost imperceptibly from its place hung over his lap.

"What, you want to keep it?!" Hizashi gapes. "Are you serious? What are you going to tell people when you pop out a kid?"

Midoriya actually has the nerve to pick his head up and scowl at him through the tears streaming down his face. Hizashi snarls, before jumping to his feet and storming over to Midoriya. He catches his arm before he can fully bolt out of his chair, pulling him back and gripping him by the shoulders. That fury in Midoriya's eyes is quickly replaced with horror.

"I know you're not going to tell them I did it," Hizashi growls, "because if the police come poking around, you'll have to tell them everything. You know that? You have to give them every little detail or you're withholding information–which is a crime.

“You'll have to tell them how you broke curfew and made me come looking for you, how you failed to notice me in the showers, how you stuck your little ass out for me to see, that you let me fuck your mouth–"

"Stop it!"

"–and that you squeezed me so tight I came inside you."

Midoriya’s eyes squeeze shut, his head dropping.

Hizashi leans closer. "Are you gonna tell them all that? Because I will. I'll tell them everything–and if our stories don't match up completely, you'll be in a lot of trouble."

He's by no means unused to lying, manipulation or blackmail–yet, he sort of feels sick as the words tumble out of his mouth. Midoriya slumps back down into his chair when Hizashi releases his shoulders, burying his face into his hands as he sobs.

It's not nearly as pretty a sight when his lips aren't stretched around his cock.

"That's what I thought," Hizashi says anyway, putting on an air of confidence even as he looks away.

Discomfort twists in his gut as he listens to Midoriya's barely restrained wails echo through the room–which then warps into frustration, each heaving gasp Hizashi hears wracking anger into his very bones.

There were plenty of solutions to this, and the kid has the nerve to cry and blame him?

"You've got maybe a month to think about aborting it, after that you'll have to carry it to term either way," Hizashi says coldly when Midoriya pauses to catch his breath between sobs. "Does anyone else know?"

Wiping away steadily replenishing tears, Midoriya shakes his head.

"They'll know soon enough,” he huffs. “Are you showing yet?"

He can't see much through his blazer, but he thinks there's a pretty good chance he is; Hizashi knows he's been avoiding his hero costume in favor of U.A.'s looser-fitting gym clothes lately.

Midoriya makes no effort to answer him, so Hizashi reaches forward to grab a fistful of his uniform and tugs upwards, revealing his stomach. Midoriya weakly pries at his wrist in response.

Through his clothes it could probably pass for a little extra weight, or even just a big breakfast–but there's definitely a swell there compared to the lean stomach he'd seen in the showers a few months ago, poking out over the hem of his pants.

And Hizashi put that there.

He glances upwards to see the miserable embarrassment covering Midoriya’s face and, despite everything, he feels heat rush between his legs. It takes him by surprise at first, but it's sure as hell a better feeling than the guilt and fear gnawing at him.

It occurs to him that his once-per-student policy is meaningless now, and if Midoriya's gonna be crying his eyes out and risking getting him caught anyway…

Well, he might as well enjoy it.

Midoriya’s struggle becomes more earnest when Hizashi pops the buttons on his clothes open. He bolts upright out of his chair, sending it clattering backwards, trying to twist out of Hizashi’s grasp–but he has a tight grip on his blazer.

“No!” Midoriya cries so damn loud that fear shocks its way through Hizashi’s body. He claps a hand over the kid’s mouth and shoves him against the desk he’d been sitting at. Midoriya stares up at him with glossy, terrified eyes as he thrashes and tries to pull away.

“Listen,” Hizashi snarls, "it's not unusual for kids your age to get knocked up and it won't hurt your hero image much–but if people find out it had to do with me? Then you’ll always be remembered as the slut who got Present Mic arrested.”

The nails scraping at his wrist slowly stop as Midoriya's weeping returns, Hizashi's words sinking in. He stills, arms dropping to his sides as his eyes fall shut.

Taking this as bitter acceptance, Hizashi relaxes his grip on him–though doesn’t uncover his mouth–and pushes his blazer and button-up off his shoulders with one hand. He urges Midoriya backwards until he's laying on the desk, wearing a face of open misery as his eyes glaze over again–but that's not where Hizashi's attention is focused.

"Your tits are already gettin' bigger..."

They're spilling out over the top of his too-small bra, nipples peeking out from behind the bunched up fabric gathering beneath them. Hizashi bets he has to readjust the thing all day long. He's got red marks along his shoulders where the straps have been rubbing and straining to support him.

Hizashi's definitely doing him a favor when he rips it apart at the lacy seam between the cups. Midoriya winces as his only support falls away, his tits pooling on his chest.

"Heh. Are you sore?" he asks, groping him with his free hand, pleased it actually fills his palm this time around. The way Midoriya's eyes pinch shut suggests yes. His hands clutch at Hizashi's sleeves in some kind of feeble attempt to resist, knees tense around Hizashi’s hips. Perhaps he’s trying to prevent him from pressing any closer.

Hizashi squeezes and tugs his nipple and Midoriya gasps when something wet and white dribbles out. His hands snap to Hizashi's wrist to pry him off but Hizashi just chuckles and repeats the motion. Kicking his thigh, Midoriya squeals something under his palm as his tit squirts a solid stream this time. The moisture makes Hizashi's fingers slip away, but he cackles as Midoriya's face screws up, flushing bright red down to his chest, where his arms promptly cross.

Now that's a good look. He much prefers tears of humiliation over shame. His cock is already straining against his pants, but first he needs a little more insurance that the kid won't run while he's getting undressed

"You're only halfway through your pregnancy but you're ready to pop that sucker out already, huh?"

He pulls his hand away from Midoriya’s mouth and his head falls to the side, burying against his own shoulder without ever peeking his eyes open. Hizashi's hands trail down to undo his uniform's belt and pants. His knees tighten around him, but he doesn't otherwise react until Hizashi nearly pulls him off the desk as he's tugging them down his legs. He has to grasp the desk's edge to keep himself from falling when Hizashi forces them off along with his shoes.

He didn't notice when he was just looking at his stomach, more focused on his baby bump, but now he can tell Midoriya has put on a little weight. Even with all his muscle he was kind of a beanpole a few months ago, but here–his ass and thighs actually have some substance to them, pooling over the surface of the desk as they're pressed against it. Maybe it says something about Hizashi's perceptiveness that he didn't notice all this sooner… but, no; the kid never really filled out his uniform to begin with, so it easily looked natural when he began to, and even then it still hangs a little loose around him in places.

Hizashi can't help but drag his palms over his thighs appreciatively. His hips press forward until the bulge in his pants nudges against Midoriya's cunt, making his legs twitch and tense. He can see the strain in his shoulders and the uneven rise and fall of his chest.

"Gonna be good this time?" Hizashi asks as he draws back to undo his own belt. "It won't hurt as much if you just sit still and let me do my thing."

He plans on making that as hard as possible for him, of course. Predictably, Midoriya doesn’t try to answer him–just squeezes his eyes shut tighter. Hizashi kicks off his shoes and drops his pants, relieved as his aching cock springs free, while Midoriya flinches far too hard at the sound of his belt hitting the floor. His legs twist shut on what Hizashi has to assume is reflex, because he has no trouble prying his knees apart to put himself between them again.

Hizashi clicks his tongue. "What are you so afraid of, huh? You're already pregnant. The way I see it, you should just enjoy yourself."

Hizashi wasn't planning on doing much with his cock–not yet–but the way Midoriya recoils makes it hard to resist. With one hand on Midoriya's knee and the other wrapped around his length, he gives himself a few precursory strokes before pressing forward, burying the head of his cock between the lips. He watches the kid's body jerk as he barely suppresses the urge to escape, clearly expecting Hizashi to fuck him dry again. Instead, Hizashi lets his dick slip upwards and uses his fingers to hold it down against his clit as it slides forward. Midoriya's knees twitch twice as it's touched, and again every so often as Hizashi's piercings slide over it. He moves slowly, letting each one catch and rub over his clitoris, before drawing back just as slow and letting it do the same in reverse.

Hizashi isn't sure if it's frustration or confusion contorting Midoriya's face, but his brows are deeply furrowed. Once it reaches his tip again Hizashi presses back down between his lips, harder this time–threatening to actually push inside. Midoriya's jaw tenses in preparation, his breath hitching. And then Hizashi does it again, lets it slip up and rub over his clit all painfully slow, back and forth.

It's definitely frustration, at least this time. Hizashi has to laugh at the way he writhes and huffs on the desk in front of him.

"What, do you want me to fuck you?"

"No."

The way Midoriya's voice breaks over the syllable makes it sound hilariously unconvincing. His expression mixes with embarrassment while Hizashi laughs at him.

"Oh, we'll get there," he promises darkly.

He does his best to make it feel threatening each time he rubs up against his entrance, varying the intensity and the angle at which he does it. It reminds Midoriya to stay nice and tense whenever he starts to get too into the feeling of having his clit rubbed, legs falling open almost like he wants it. Midoriya's gasp fills the room wherever Hizashi does accidentally slip inside only to pull right back out, which becomes increasingly easy to do as his cunt loosens up with arousal.

Finally Hizashi draws back, because it's also getting increasingly hard to want to pull back out–but not before giving his clit a final slap with his cock just to see him jolt. He reaches a hand up to prod his fingers at Midoriya's lips.

Instead of opening up and sucking them down, he peels his lips back and shows him all teeth. Little shit.

"Hey," Hizashi warns, "if you don't want me to rip up your cunt again then you'll get my fingers nice and wet. No biting."

Midoriya winces. He hesitantly opens his jaw, and Hizashi offers some light praise as he shoves two fingers in. There's a pause while he holds them there and Midoriya pieces together that he has to lick them himself (which wasn't Hizashi's original plan, but that's what he gets for resisting.) His tongue is slow and reluctant to coat them, but it’s good enough once Hizashi presses in and nearly crams his fingers down his throat, eliciting a concerningly wet gag just before withdrawing.

Hizashi pushes his other palm back over Midoriya's mouth as he reaches down and shoves a digit into his cunt, making him writhe a bit despite how easily he takes it. Hizashi is quick to add a second once he realizes just how wet he is–much more than expected. He sets a firm but not quite punishing pace right away, curling up against that sweet spot with every thrust.

Midoriya squirms mostly in rhythm with his strokes and presses a hand over Hizashi's as he whimpers under his palm. He keeps his legs splayed open, eyes squeezed shut as his back arches off the desk, pushing his swollen stomach into the air.

"See? You could have felt like this last time, too, if you would have just played along."

Tears stream down his face and he squeezes Hizashi's wrist like it's torture but the way he cries out suggests otherwise, and when Hizashi brushes his thumb over his clit he's quite happy to rub up against it.

Though the muscles in his arm complain, Hizashi is happy to give it to him when Midoriya starts rocking his hips down on his fingers, silently begging for more. Hizashi's torn between staring at Midoriya's face and being mesmerized by the way his skin ripples with each inward thrust of his fingers. It's so cliche and filthy–the high pitched moans echoing around the empty classroom along with wet squelching and the slapping of skin on skin–and Hizashi loves it. It feels absolutely addictive with the way he's all wired with nerves that were frayed just minutes ago.

Midoriya's moans slowly become that much more lewd and needy, his pussy clenching rhythmically around Hizashi fingers, informing him it's time to switch things up. He withdraws, watching Midoriya roll his hips against nothing as his hole visibly gapes and tightens–practically begging to be filled up. Midoriya peeks at Hizashi through glassy half-lidded eyes, his hand edging down the desk beside his hip like he wants to touch himself.

He turns rigid when Hizashi grabs his dick and positions himself at his entrance, eyes widening at the sight.

"Don't worry, I'll let you come," Hizashi assures, intentionally misreading him. "You squeezing my dick last time was one of the best things I've ever felt. Like hell I'd skip out on that!"

He pushes inside before he even finishes talking. Midoriya's eyes snap shut as he sucks in a breath. Hizashi intentionally left him a little underprepared–not enough to hurt, but enough that he'd react to the stretch. He didn't want to take all the fun out of it after all.

He lets his head fall back with a groan as he sinks himself in. Brutalizing him last time was great, sure, but physically speaking this is much better, his cunt all slick and throbbing around him. Midoriya's thighs tremble around his waist as he hilts fully inside him, breath blowing hot and uneven over his hand. Hizashi savors the feeling with a few slow thrusts, watching his cock be happily swallowed up by the kid's cunt, just inches below the swell of his pregnant belly.

Just like with his fingers, Hizashi quickly sets into a hasty pace without any build up. Midoriya goes taut again, back arching off the desk so far Hizashi hears it pop a few times. Midoriya whines under his palm, starting out a complaint, then ending somewhere more sexual. Hizashi watches his body jostle with each thrust, his tits actually big enough to bounce this time.

He frowns when Midoriya bundles them up in one arm and lays the other over the top of them. He honestly can't tell if Midoriya's just embarrassed and trying to cover up–or if they're so tender that the movement hurts and he's trying to hold them still. A smile tugs at Hizashi's lips, and he's honestly hoping it's the latter as he finally removes his palm from Midoriya's mouth to grab his wrists, prying them away from his chest and pinning them to the desk at his sides.

His thrusts become sharper, snapping his hips into him to displace Midoriya's breasts as much as possible. His mouth falls wide open in a silent scream, the only sound coming out what gets forced from his lungs with each jolt of his body–his expression a delightful mix of embarrassed and pained underneath overbearing pleasure.

The desk scrapes across the floor little by little, and Hizashi just follows it along until it bumps up against the neighboring one and finally stops. He's panting, eyes fixed on Midoriya's form. Every part of him is so good to look at, from his bright red tear streaked face, his bouncing swollen tits that move his nipples in little circles, to his protruding stomach. Usually when he fucks beanpoles like Midoriya he can see his dick bulging in their stomach, but his is already so swollen that it just disappears inside him completely. A groan escapes Hizashi's lips, cock throbbing hard when he thinks about how close it must get to his womb with each thrust.

He pushes Midoriya's wrists up above his head and curls his fingers over the edge of the desk, keeping them firmly pinned there while he leans down to suck on the tender, swollen skin of his chest. Midoriya's breath hitches and he tries to recoil away, arching uselessly against the desk. Hizashi pays him no mind, nuzzling his lips and tongue against his breasts, trailing wet kisses across them as he draws pained whimpers from him.

"Stop–!"

He's rewarded with a ring of teeth around his nipple. Midoriya flinches hard underneath him, tightening wonderfully around his cock.

Hizashi hadn't expected to have such an effect with just his teeth, but he definitely feels liquid hit his tongue. He… finds it hotter than he thought he would. Maybe it just feels akin to the times he's gotten a student to squirt while raping them, especially when he glances up to see Midoriya's bright red face so twisted with embarrassment that he's practically cringing.

Still, he's not quite around to the idea of swallowing it. He lifts his head and lolls his tongue out, letting it mingle with his saliva as it drips down hotly onto Midoriya's breast.

"You're just overflowing with this stuff, huh?" Hizashi licks his lips in between huffs. "No wonder you're so sore."

Midoriya just buries his face harder against his shoulder, chest spasming with sobs and strangled moans. Hizashi flicks his tongue up his opposite breast and over his nipple, keeping Midoriya plenty tense around him, before finally drawing back, feeling an orgasm beginning to coil between his legs. He releases his wrists, revealing the bright red marks underneath, grabbing Midoriya's jaw to move him into a better position to clamp his hand back down over his mouth. With the other, he gives his nipple one final tug that Midoriya's too slow to slap away before slicking up his fingers again in his own mouth.

He angles his hips so that he can keep fucking him while he reaches down and rubs his fingers over Midoriya's clit. Midoriya's eyes squeeze tighter as his back arches off the desk, hands clasping around Hizashi's wrist above his face.

He comes in seconds. His cunt squeezes him as he cries out under his palm, hips rocking down on his cock. Hizashi grabs his hip and humps into that tight, pulsing heat with no regard for Midoriya's pregnant form, hips snapping harshly into him in pursuit of his own orgasm.

When it hits, it hits hard. He shoves his cock into him full hilt, pushing Midoriya up the desk an inch, and then another on the second spurt. Their bodies writhe against each other as Hizashi empties himself into Midoriya for the second time, filling up against his occupied womb.

As their pulses come back down and they begin to catch their breath, the foggy haze of arousal clears away, hormones dispersing from their brains. The situation dawns on both of them again; Midoriya's tears catch back up with him, having halted for his orgasm, and Hizashi's stomach sinks again now that fucking a teen he already got pregnant doesn't seem so hot anymore. He lets go of him and pulls out, and the kid doesn't even move beyond burying his face in the crook of his elbow as Hizashi's come drips out of his cunt onto the desk below.

His gut twists harder because Midoriya just looks so broken laying there like that. With his back flat on the desk Hizashi can see how much his stomach has already stretched, and how hard it's going to be on him during the later stages of his pregnancy.

The snivels start up and Hizashi decides–fuck this. He's not dealing with this. He pulls his eyes away to turn around and put his pants back on. It's not his fault the kid doesn't want to get an abortion and didn't take a Plan B anyways. It’s not his fault that Midoriya broke a rule and made himself vulnerable all those months ago. This shit is why those rules exist in the first place!

If Midoriya went and gave himself a lasting consequence to what was only supposed to last a single night, fine. Hizashi will squeeze whatever enjoyment he can get out of it while it lasts.

He doesn't even bother to stay to help him clean up; just starts moving towards the door, and he doesn't look back when he pauses on his way out to say,

"Come to my office on Monday. I wanna, ah, keep an eye on the situation."

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[fairyscribbles]

No More Running. (D.O, Romantic Confession)

By the way my loves, no need to worry about me! I decided to clean my folder and I found a lot of stories that I haven’t posted on tumblr yet, and I am pretty proud of them! So these are things that were written a while ago, but you get to see now! <3

-

You pushed your feet to go faster, feeling the strain in your muscles as you sped down the dark alleyway. You muted out the gruff yells that were behind you and your mind was only set on one thing- escaping the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You were innocent, and yet it was you who ended up being chased again.

You knew very well who was following you. And you knew they were toying with you. If they would’ve wanted, the vampires would have already ripped your jugular out.

They weren’t doing this for hunger. Oh no, the reason was far more personal than an innocent feeding.

This was an act of revenge, an eye for an eye. But they had the wrong person. You weren’t supposed to be executed for this reason.

You sharply turned left, almost losing your footing as you slammed into the side of the building. You could faintly register the burning on your arm as it scratched against the building, willing yourself to go faster.

This was all just a big mistake. They weren’t supposed to go after you. You weren’t the one closest to Do Kyungsoo, the werewolf they wanted to hurt the most.

Kyungsoo made sure you knew that well.

-

“Look…” he started, pausing after muttering your name. His eyes were set on the ground.

“This isn’t because of you…”

“Oh, of course not. It’s never me, it’s always you.” You cut him off, your hands balled into fists at your sides. He tried to open his mouth to protest, but you didn’t let him.

“At first, it was about you being different. When I showed you I had absolutely no problem with you being a werewolf, you changed the story to the “enormous” age gap problem.” You stated, crooking your fingers in the air in imaginative quote marks. Kyungsoo’s full lips pursed in a thin line, his brows furrowed.

“Even when I said that three years aren’t that bad, you’ve apparently come up with another one.” Crossing your arms on your chest, you glared at him.

“Let’s hear it, then.” He started out with your name again, and no matter how much you loved hearing it rolling off his lips, you willed yourself not to be affected by it.

“I cannot…I’m too dangerous for you.”

“Oh, that is rich.” You scoffed and Kyungsoo showed his distaste of interrupting him by growling deep in his chest. Sometimes, you forget that Kyungsoo is really a dangerous being, but no one could blame you- he is always so gentle and nice, it isn’t hard to let your mind slip with that little fact that he is able to transform into a great beast.

You pursed your lips, holding in all the other snarky comments until he is finished.

“I’m too dangerous. After all these years, I’ve made too many enemies. They could hurt you to get to me. And the biggest enemy is right in this room.” You lifted your eyebrow in question and Kyungsoo pointed at his chest.

“It’s me. I could hurt you so easily…” he muttered almost to himself, as he lifted his hand and his thumb brushed gently over your cheek. It took all you had not to lean into his touch, as you stared into his eyes, which seemed to be torn by uncertainty.

“Just with a flick of my wrist, I could break you bones…”

“You don’t have to flick anything but your tongue, to let those words out and break my heart.” You added, your voice lowering to his whisper. Pain flashed through his eyes and to your dismay, his hand retreated from your skin. He was already taking steps back, away from you.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.”

You would’ve cried, but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Sadly, you were so used to Kyungsoo walking out on you; it didn’t hurt as much as the last time.

You loved him, and you were sure he loved you back. The fact that after every single time he left, he returned to you made you realize that he was unable to be without you.

Do Kyungsoo’s machinations of his mind were an enigma, you decided, as you stared at the closed door, a thought crept in your head that it might’ve been a metaphor about Kyungsoo.

The closed door might be a metaphor on your relationship with Kyungsoo.

You were left all alone.

-

And alone, you had to face the two bloodthirsty vampires at your heels. You felt that your muscles started to scream in pain, but you couldn’t allow yourself to slow down. Slowing down mean certain death.

“Think fast, wolf bait!” a crystal clear voice called out behind you and not a second later, a sharp rock came in contact with your scalp. With a yelp, you stumbled but kept your balance. Your head throbbed, and that pain seemed to break down the numbness your brain created when they started chasing you.

You were being chased by vampires. And your only hope, the only one that could save you, turned his back on you.

That didn’t stop you from calling for help.

“Help…” the only word whimpered through your lips and the vile creatures behind you cackled.

“No one will come, sweetie. Stop running and we’ll make it quick.”

I don’t want to make it quick. I want to live, you wanted to tell the vampires, but you knew it would be useless.

“Please, help!” your voice grew louder as you took another turn. You noticed your grave mistake too late, that you ran into a dark alley, that was most probably cut off by some obstacle. Your fears came true, as a metal fence started rising above you and soon enough, you collided into it, hoping it would topple over.

Not happening. The fence stood there long before you and it probably will continue standing proud long after you’re gone.

You searched for a weapon of any kind- you were positive that you wouldn’t find any silver in the abandoned alleyway, so you settled for a broken vodka bottle. You clenched it by the throat, facing the predators with shaky legs.

“Leave me alone.” You tried to make your voice firm, but it cracked to a plea in the middle of the sentence, making the vampires laugh.

“We can’t do that, honey. There’s no escape. I’m sorry.” The monster replied and as if his speech triggered your reflex, your legs set off running again.

You didn’t get far though, as an arm shot up to meet you, sending you flying back to the fence. With a cry, you tried to catch your breath, your eyes glazing over with tears.

“Kyungsoo…” his name escaped your lips and your attacker grinned.

“Yes, thank him for killing you.”

“Kyungsoo, help me…” you were far too gone with fear, trying to back up even further into the fence when the vampire started approaching you.

“No! Stay back! Please!”

“So loud…” the other one growled, slapping you across the cheek. The sole impact had you losing your balance as you fell on the ground, knocking your head on some rubbish. Sobbing, you tried to crawl away from your death, into the corner of the building and the fence.

“Please, no!” you cried again, when you felt an iron grip on your ankle yank you away from your haven.

“Shut up already!”

“Say your prayers, flower.”  The first one finally said, lifting his arm to strike you again, but this time, you were sure it would be the last.

“Kyungsoo!” you shrieked, your eyes closing and awaiting the impact.

A growl cut through the air and soon enough, ripping and yells reached your ears, before you covered them, cutting them off.

You wanted out. This was just  a horrible nightmare, you wanted out, to wake up. Or if it had to be real life, you just wanted to die, to finally have it over with and to die in peace. Oh god, that was the only thing you wanted, just to get out…

Your ranting was interrupted by a familiar voice calling your name. At first, you thought it was just your mind playing tricks, but when big hands covered yours, gently prying them off your ears, you heard that concerned voice again.

You opened your eyes and as you stared into Kyungsoo’s worried ones, you couldn’t fight the tears anymore and you broke down, crying.

“Did they hurt you? Hey, ___, talk to me, please.” His hand cupped your chin, tilting you up to meet his gaze again, while his other one gently swiped at the swollen cheek and busted lip that the vampires rewarded you with. His eyes laced with fury, and a growl rumbled off his chest.

“They didn’t bite you, right?” he asked carefully and relief washed over him when you shook your head.

“Did they hurt you anywhere else?”

“You came.” You interrupted his interrogation by throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. You refused to let go of him, your grip around his neck was almost bordering with pain, but either way, one of arms wrapped around your back, bringing you impossibly close, while the other one cradled your head.

“I’m so sorry I came so late. I’m so sorry.” He whispered into your ear, while you proceeded to cry into his neck.

“I was so scared…” you were only able to hiccup through your sobs.

“I know, and I’m so sorry, but it’s all okay now, I’m here…” Kyungsoo started rocking you gently, trying to calm you down.

“But for how long? How long until you’ll leave again?” you’ve managed to form a longer sentence now, your grip automatically tightening when you spoke of him leaving.

“Forever. I’ll never leave you again.” His hand ran through your hair, and when he brought out bloody fingers because of your injury, he gently pushed you away so he could look into your eyes.

“I never wanted you to experience something like this. I thought that if I left you, they would lose interest in you, and yet the only thing I did was make you completely vulnerable.” As he spoke, your eyes cast downwards to look at his shirt. He brought your attention back to his face when he kissed your brow gently and you looked up in surprise.

“I promise to take care of you from now until you’ll want me. I’ll never let anything happen to you again. If someone as much as touches you, I’ll make sure they’ll regret it.” The determination in his eyes told you he was speaking the truth. A moment later, uncertainty crept through the irises.

“That is, if you still want me.” Normally, you would’ve scoffed, but now, you wound your arms around his neck again and nodded into his shoulder.

You could feel as Kyungsoo wrapped one arm under your knees and lifted you into his embrace, as if you weighed nothing.

“Never leave me again, please.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

[crankybangtan]

hooked // hoseok smut

This smut links with Protect the Light chapter 15 social media AU found here: ♥♥♥ 

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader (Yoongi is mentioned) 

Genre: Smut, Gang! Hoseok, Dom! Hoseok   Summary:  Y/N, her roommate and his best friend are trying to entertain themselves on a boring friday night, when yoongi leaves them alone, the sexual tension between YN and Hoseok becomes unbearable for them both. 

Trigger Warnings: Smut, sexual talk, dom hoseok and a little rough play i guess, not too much 

FYI: if you dont enjoy smut, you dont have to read this, you wont miss out on anything in the AU it just adds a little context and detail and visa versa, if you dont read my au this make sense as a stand alone smut. enjoy :) and merry christmas to those celebrating :) 2,554 Words Masterlist: ♥♥♥

Hoseok wouldn’t stop staring at you. You couldn’t tell if it was intentional, but his dark eyes followed you round the room. You got up to get a drink, you went to take a call and you felt like he was watching you. You were trying to be comfortable, confident, sexy. Like you were sure of yourself, like you liked the attention from him. But instead you avoided eye contact and shifted in your seat uncomfortably. You had never met a man so intimidating, he held a kind of power over you that made you hold your breath. “yn, what do you want?” Yoongi asked bluntly, interrupting your thoughts and passing his phone to you. It was Saturday evening and instead of going out with friends or enjoying the company of your Netflix account you were getting takeaway with your grouchy roommate Yoongi and his very attractive but unapproachable friend, Hoseok. You could feel Hoseok watching you pick what you wanted off the menu, his breath against your skin. He was sat so close to you on the couch that his t-shirt was brushing against yours. You couldn’t stop thinking about every little thing he did. He liked this, watching you shiver and panic at the sight of him. He enjoyed how much he overwhelmed you and he knew exactly what he was doing. Yoongi was slumped across the couch, scrolling through his phone, ‘Umming’ and ‘Uuhhing’ at what he should choose from the takeaway. Not making any eye contact with either of you or Hoseok. So, he took his chance. Hoseok smirked. But you kept your eyes on the TV. Listening to Yoongi drone on about something. You tried to distract yourself but the cold sensation of Hoseoks hand made you gasp. Everything tensed. You turned your head to look at him, but he shrugged like it was nothing. His long fingers pressed themselves into your bare thigh. A slight squeeze that left you wanting more. You pursed your lips as if to ask ‘What?’. He chuckled to himself, this was a game for him. A sweet little thing like you hanging off his every word. His hand slowly moved itself up your thigh. Your chest tightened as you took a hard gulp. Everything in your head was going around and around in circles so quickly. Why were you letting him do this? Why did he have this hold of you that made you freeze? His fingers were now burning against your inner thigh and his face has gotten so close to your ear and that you hear his lips parting as he spoke. “This is what you’ve been thinking about right?” he whispered with another squeeze on your thigh. Yeah. Its all you had been thinking about for the past couple days. But you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t even speak a word let alone tell him every detail of what you had been thinking about him. He pressed his lips against your ear sending a shiver down your spine, paralysing you. “Tell me, tell me you’ve been thinking about me” You turned to look at him, you bit your lip slightly to stop yourself from moaning at the sight of Hoseoks fingers rolling themselves into your skin. Your faces were so close to each other and for the first time you could look into his eyes and examine his details. How soft his skin is, how pink his lips were and how much you wanted both of those things. “Right,” Yoongi announced, pushing himself off the couch. Making you also jump up out of shock, pulling you out of your Hoseok bubble. Hoseok himself stayed exactly where he was and that scared you. His lack of caring. His want for danger and getting caught. Yoongi grimaced at you, asking what the fuck you were doing. You just shrugged, playing off your awkward exterior as nothing. “Well, im going to get the food,” he picked up his jacket and keys and shot towards the door. “ill be back in 40”. You walked with him, as if to scream don’t go. Don’t leave me. But the door shut without you.  You turned on your heels to face Hoseok who wasn’t looking at you. “What were you doing?” You breathed out, hardly a whisper. “What?” he looked back from the TV over his arms that were spread across the back of the seat. “What was,” you let out a quiet frustrated moan, “that?” Hoseok rose from where he was and walked toward you with a confident stride until he was stood only inches from you. “That?” he questioned arrogantly, “That was nothing”. He tilted his head and his lips hung loosely as he watched you. “Nothing? You cant do that, you can’t do that in front of Yoongi, I just- ““But he’s gone now” He growled, grazing his hand across your cheek, down toward your neck. You let your head dip into his hand. His touch suddenly made you melt. “He’ll be back” “Do you ever relax, princess?” His eyes were dark, his brows overarching on his face. You couldn’t do anything but shake your head.  He brought his lips so close to yours that you could feel yours shivering. “Let me help you”.

His lips felt like fire against yours. You immediately let out a moan with a sigh of breath and he smirked. He had you where he wanted you, melting in his arms. One of his hands was pressed up against the side of your head, his fingers wrapping themselves in your hair. His other gripping to your back. He pulled out of the kiss, hovering above your lips, you lunged forward, urging for more. But Hoseok sneered, placing wet, rough kisses along your cheeks and down your neck, “Bedroom?” he questioned against your skin, but sounded more like a demand, as his bit down on your ear. You could only nod, letting out a small groan. Hoseok slammed the door shut behind him as you both entered your room. The only room that hadn’t been infiltrated by him. You pulled your shirt off in desperation and flung it to the ground. “Desperate for me baby?” Hoseok grabbed your waist and pulled you into him, reconnecting the kiss. It was sloppy from your end, but he was in control. He knew you wanted him bad, that you had an infatuation with him. You both stumbled until your back was up against the wall. With one hand Hoseok pinned your arm down, the other moved down your body, tracing over your skin until he reached the waistband of your pyjama shorts, he breathed a laugh before delving inside you. You gasped, his fingers slowly rolling themselves over you, your hips rolled back in pleasure, he could tell how sensitive you were, your legs trembling at his touch. “You’re so wet, is this what I did to you earlier?” He slowly moved a finger inside of you, twisting it to hit you where your knees went weak.  “Is this what me touching your thigh did to you?” He entered another finger, pushing your back further against the wall as you let out a desperate whimper. You tried to move your hand off the wall to grab at his, but he slammed your wrist back into place. “You wanted my fingers deep inside of you, while Yoongi watched?” You didn’t think you could take another one of his fingers, but you did. Spreading you out wide, pumping them slowly enough to keep you whining for more. “Hoseok I-“He flicked his fingers, stopping you in your tracks. “Tell me what you think about me yn, tell me how much you’ve wanted this.” You let out a deep breath, hesitatingly, “I think about you...” You said loud enough just for yourself to hear, his fingers stopped moving inside of you and you groaned. “I need to hear you” He spoke again, “How much have you thought about this?” He sounded angry and it turned you on. Your head hit the wall behind you, Hoseoks fingers lingering inside of you, you moved against them wanting him to carry on. “I think about you all the time…” You spoke louder, he heard you this time, a grin forming on his lips. “I want you every time I see you, I want your touch, ple- please give me more, Hoseok” He was happy with your response and started pumping his fingers again making your body go feeble, he supported your body with his arm.  As every muscle in you weakened, “Hoseok, I cant-“ Hoseok retracted his fingers slowly, leaving you letting out a long whine. “there’s no such word as cant,” He picked up your legs and placed you on the bed. As intimidating and rough Hoseok could be, he cared for you and protected you. Hoseok pulled down your shorts, exposing yourself to him. He licked his lips in anticipation, standing up and looking at you. “Why are you- what are you doing?” you questioned, moving your body into a ball to hide yourself from him. He started to unbuckle his belt, staring down at you, “Show me,” he growled, you took a sharp inbreath of air. Imminently following his command, you Slowly let yourself be vulnerable, parting your legs for him.  He let out a grunt, before pulling off his pants, immediately stroking himself. He stood for a second, rubbing his length, getting lost looking at you. “God, you’re better than I thought,” He murmured to himself, giving you the lightest touch before crawling on top of you, his fingers tracing over every part of you without missing a spot.  His lips came up to meet yours, his kiss was hard, and his tongue didn’t hold back from exploring you. You kissed back nervously at first, but as soon as Hoseoks hand held the back of your neck pushing you further into his lips you became sloppier and desperate. Everything you had thought about Hoseok, all the times you saw his hanging around the apartment and wanted him so bad, it was all coming out right now. You were both now naked, laying on top of each other, Hoseok hands grabbing onto every part of you. His erection was hardening, and you could feel it between your legs. Hoseok lifted your leg so it was bent up and wrapped around his back You let out a moan at the touch of his length rubbing itself against you. Your body lifted towards him, grinding against him. “You have to use your words, baby”, Hoseok growled into your ear, biting down on your lobe. “I- I need you Hoseok,” Your leg tightened around him, trying to pull him in but he was still teasing you with his shaft. “What do you need baby, I need you to tell me,” He moved his hands down to your heat and started to slowing circle your clit as he licked up and down your ear. “I want yo- I need you inside me Hoseok, please just fuck me,” You could hardly get your words out, your eyes were closed tight trying to control the movements of your body, but you could tell he was smirking at you. “Princess isn’t such a princess anymore, huh,” And he thrusted his whole length into you hard and quick, then stopping, watching you struggling with his whole stroke inside of you, You let out a loud whimper, “Hoseok,- move,” He slowly backed up, just to pump himself again, feeling every part of his length “He’ll be back soon Hoseok- please move” and with that Hoseok starting slamming himself into you without hesitation, one hand propping himself up next to you and the other messaging your breast,  If you weren’t in so much pleasure, the grip on your chest would be painful. You never knew you liked it like this.  You opened your eyes to look at Hoseok grinning at you, taking satisfaction at how weak you were becoming underneath him. “Ho- “you went to breathe out his name, reaching up touch him, wrapping your arm around his back but he stopped you, pinning your arms behind your head. “If you want to be like us so bad yn, you’re going to have to take what I give you,” His grip on your wrists tightened, it hurt but you liked it. He groaned with his teeth clenched as he thrusted into you, his hips gaining a rough rhythm. Your legs started to shake as you let out breathy moans of pleasure, “God, it feels, its feel so good Hoseok,” He didn’t respond, the smug look on his face said it all. He let out an accidental “fuck-“as you squeezed around him, his whole girth completely filling you. You were tiring and sore, and you could tell Hoseoks thrusts were weakening. Watching him become undone on top of you gave you a small glimpse of the man outside the gang. In his most vulnerable position. You took your chance to release your hands and pull his face closer to yours, giving him a lasting kiss before crying out his name, “I’m going to cum- i-“But he released himself inside of you before warning, His last few strokes finished you off. Hoseok keeping his lips lingering above your mouth, his forehead pressed against yours as you moaned through your orgasm. You leant your head back onto the pillow, heaving breathing. He pulled out of you slowly. Leaving you throbbing. Hoseok rolled next to you on the bed. As soon as it was over, you became shy again. Remembering you were led naked next to him, completely exposed and you had just shared the most vulnerable moment with him. He immediately sat up, pulling his black jeans back on and throwing on his t-shirt. You did the same. You wanted to lay with him for a couple minutes but acting like it was more than just a quickie, when that was all he saw it was would be embarrassing. So, you copied what he was doing. Pretending like you were used to this. “That was good,” you breathed out, trying to break the silence, he turned to you with his mouth upturned in the corner, his eyes lighting up at the sight on you in a over sized shirt. He hummed in agreement, “It’ll be better next time,” he spoke doing up his belt. Your chest tightened at the thought. He chuckled at the desperation in your face, you were becoming his little toy. As Hoseok went to leave you saw the tattoos that covered his arms, his scars up and down his body, the packet of cigarettes that protruded out of his back pocket and you examined him. Were you really going to involve yourself with him, with this life. You wanted an adventure but was it this you wanted. You were hooked on the thought of him. “Oh, Yoongi didn’t know you were back?” Hoseok asked arrogantly as he opened your bedroom door.  Your face flushed with embarrassed and you buried your face into the pillows. “fuuuuck-“ You cried, he had absolutely heard everything.  You were never going to hear the end of this. ---------

this one is dedicated to me girl: @comfyhobi merry christmas babe

[thedistantstorm]

Phoenix Protocol 02

A Zavala x Female Guardian work.

Summary: When the Traveler’s Light was returned to the Guardians after the defeat of the Cabal, it did not manifest itself the same in everyone. Miyu, an Awoken Warlock, finds herself struggling with her abilities, her Light feeling different and not her own. With her Vanguard preoccupied with grief and all eyes turned to the Reef, she finds herself turning to an unlikely source in an attempt to rediscover her connection to the Light and define what it means for her as a Dawnblade.

[Previously]

Ikora always wants more.

By research, Ikora actually means to discuss Miyu stopping hers. Focusing on more important matters. The Reef. Uldren. Miyu wants nothing to do with any of it, and that is why she had willingly offered her services detaining escapees from the Prison of Elders despite not actually wanting to do that at all.

It gives Miyu time to actually complete some more secretive research on the side: why her Light is messed up. Why it feels like when she received hers back, after the war, it felt like it belonged to someone else, the person she used to be but wasn’t any more, coiling uneasily beneath her skin. She’s gone to Io. The Shard. Both under the guise of hunting escapees, but also to seek answers.

Neither place does and very day, the solar sword is more difficult to grasp, wings of flame beyond her reach. Telling her Vanguard that didn’t work. Ikora didn’t understand. The Void has always been at her fingertips, for as long as she’s been connected to the Traveler. With that in mind, Miyu attempts to adapt her argument, listens to Ikora insisting that she push herself and hopes that eventually either her own efforts or Ikora’s reasoning pays off.

Ikora still demands an answer, though. Wants Miyu to give her something. So, Miyu presents her personal thoughts. Based on her research, she finds that her connection to the Light is strongest while meditating or calling upon her abilities in the midst of a healing rift. Ikora is not impressed. Miyu isn’t expecting her to be. She tells Ikora the truth - that she does not believe offensive maneuvers are her true calling, not anymore. It’s something she’s believed for a while now. She can hear Ghost cheering her on in her mind for being honest - for expressing her opinion. That was rare. Miyu hated doing so, especially when she knew it was going to be an unpopular one.

Ikora, in response, cites battles, strikes, accolades. Ikora always measures a Warlock’s worth in accolades.

Miyu measures a person - Guardian, Human, Exo, Awoken, whatever - in terms of character. Heart. Sometimes she thinks that’s why she just doesn’t fit in with her more intellectual colleagues, aside from not being sneaky and clever like the Hidden or having half the honors or titles that Ikora’s top-tier Warlocks have. Put a sword in her hands and Miyu can cut down almost anyone or anything. But have her infiltrate a group and act a certain way, play a role of some sort? She’ll fail right away.

She is not an actress. She’s a Guardian. And to her knowledge, the definition of a Guardian is someone who protects. There has to be some merit in that, she’s told Ghost, and he - her best friend and most honest critic - agrees.

Ikora - Miyu thinks - must not think much of her. Still, the Void user pulls her back from her thoughts with praise. “Grey,” She says, “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You need to push yourself harder. Do not give up. I know you are better than this.”

It’s times like this that she wonders. Does Ikora know what her name is, really? Does Ikora even care? Miyu is beginning to think she’s just a faceless person, a puzzle that is challenging and therefore worth the more esteemed woman’s time. Ikora gave her hardly any face-time before the war, before she had these issues.

Regardless, the younger Warlock attempts to retain her composure. “Thank you. However, I would like to pursue my research on a more defensive Solar ability,” Miyu says, barely a whisper of defiance. “I believe it is possible.”

Ikora shakes her head. “Leave shielding for the Titans. A Warlock’s rift is not meant to protect. It is meant to heal or empower, and only briefly. Attempting to augment it is a waste of Light better spent on dispatching our enemies.”

Miyu sighs, but nods. “What would you have me do, then?”

The Warlock Vanguard crosses her arms, turns her back to Miyu and looks out at the City. “Take the most difficult Strikes and Patrols I can give you. Challenge yourself and you will find yourself calling upon your abilities more. If that does not help you to realign yourself with your Light,” She trails off, eyes narrowing on a fixed point beyond the horizon, “I will explore other paths. Your research is unnecessary at this time. If you require a project, I will send you to collect information from the Reef.”

The younger Warlock bows. “I understand,” Miyu says, schooling her features into something blank, and trying to sound collected and grateful, not detached and indifferent. “Thank you.”  This won’t help. She’s already tried this, Miyu thinks, but tries not to let it bleed into her demeanor.

“You’re welcome, Grey. You may go.”

Miyu turns her back to Ikora Rey, but waits until she is nearly to Banshee’s stall in the main portion of the Tower to let the frustration show on her face, a very quiet growl escaping her. Ghost appears at her side immediately. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t listen to you,” He says, sounding even more irritated than Miyu is. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes to her. “But I think you should keep working on it.”

“So do I.”

Ghost bobs, spinning around her in a wide circle of disbelief. “You do?”

“Yes.” Silver eyes cant over toward her Ghost’s single teal one. “I’ll do what she asks, and continue my research on my own. What else can I do?”

He sighs. “I know. I just wish it had gone differently.” He taps her cheek. “If you could have convinced her to watch you summon your-”

“We asked that the last two times and she refused. It’s okay, Ghost. I’m used to it being just you and me.” She reaches up to cup his small being with her hands, and holds him close. “Sometimes, I think it’s better that way.”

Ghost nuzzles against her abdomen in a return of their improvised hug, and wonders not for the first time if she considers leaving. He knows she doesn’t feel like she belongs here, that she’s trying so hard to fit into the roles dictated by social norms. Most of her fellow Guardians hurt her with their lack of understanding, their taunts. Most of them do not know how it feels to have their Light feel foreign to them. Still, she remains as gentle as she can, does her best to be kind to everyone she meets. It’s no wonder they don’t live within the confines of the Tower. The City folk are far kinder to his wayward Guardian than her own brothers and sisters. It’s a shame.

-/

Three days later, news hits the Tower. Cayde-6's killer has been eliminated. Almost everyone is celebrating. Miyu uses the general population's distraction to her advantage, slipping out to the training grounds recently restored near the base of the wall. There should be free space for her to experiment unseen, a rarity in the middle of the day.

She discards her gauntlets and lets the heavy, flame-retardant sleeves of her robes hang down over her palms. Pulls her sword from its sheath at her side. Ghost flutters around her, cones spinning silently in anticipation a safe distance away. She drops to her starting position, kicks off.

What she does not have in stealth or strength, she makes up with in skill. Some of it, Ghost believes, may have been written upon her from her first life, muscle memory and reflexes allowing her to pick up swordplay far more easily than ever anticipated. But not all of it. She worked hard to hone her skills, consulted archives and videos, took every ounce of criticism to heart.

He enjoys watching her dance throughout the training arena with her blade slashing out, parrying imaginary blows, each move fluid yet moving with unbelievable discipline and precision. However, he knows it will come soon. Can feel the tingle of Light, the increasing heat. She’s going to try without the rift. She always does, first. When her mind is clear, when she’s reached that place of blank-white concentration.

The Warlock sheaths her physical blade in a motion like lightning, before reaching out for the heat in the air, calling upon the Light in her soul to manifest the sword that answers the call of her heart. It always looks so effortless from afar.

It isn’t, though. He watches her throw the first one, scorching the dirt. Watches her call upon the second. Watches the flames spiral up her arm, paying no heed to her robes. Watches her grit her teeth and give form to the energy in her hand. This one doesn’t go as far, doesn’t track like the first.

The third fizzles into ash, blackens her fingertips. She screams, drops to her knees, slams her fists into the dirt. He doesn’t approach. He knows she wants to feel this, to commit it to memory - as if she hasn’t already, he thinks, but allows it to continue - and use it to fuel her. It’s how Ikora believes she will improve. Miyu doesn’t believe in it, but she tries anyway. He knows she’d try anything, to feel like herself again.

This is torture, but it’s therapeutic. She needs to let it out, to blaze, like the fiery powers locked inside her, refusing to come out the way they’re supposed to. The way they always had, before the Cabal had ripped them away by force.

Any changes in her personality, since the war, have been subtle. He notices the way her swordhand twitches after she lets the blades burn through her nerves. Can tell that where she might say ten words once, she now says six or five. Notices that where she’d try to be social once in a while, it takes a great deal of encouragement to convince her to approach a friendly face.

Ghost’s cones push out and then back in, spiraling around him in surprise as someone appears on his radar. Someone approaching, quickly. At a run. Miyu is pushing herself up, the rush of a healing rift spiraling out from beneath her. She doesn’t notice.

Another attempt is made to call upon the sword. She growls and braces her sword hand - gripping her left wrist with her right hand. Flames spit and spiral up both arms this time, fighting for purchase against the healing properties of the rift.

“Mi- Miyu?”

The small AI turns at the sound of the familiar voice. Oh, no.

Next

[theslasherchild]

Micheal Myers love story

Part 5

Once we got home I passed Michael his new cloths, “ I hope you like them Micheal”, I also hope they fit i thought. Suddenly Micheal began to undress, mine and Elie face burnt red as he shirt lifted and his bare skin began to show through, I quickly ran forward and yanked his shirt back down,”NOT HERE” I yelp “go upstairs and changed“ my face still burning pink.

He nodded and quietly walked up stairs, “ buzz-kill” I heard Elie sniggering at me as she began to laugh, I threw a scoul at her. “ you lucky thing having that strapping lad living with you, almost makes me forget he’s a psychopath” she said giggling.

I swiftly turn on my heal and marched into the kitchen leaving Elie in a laughing messing the sofa. I sat on the island in my kitchen, still had a pink to my cheek as I drank my coffee, I sat and look out the window at the kids playing in the street. I once again began to cast my mind back to my childhood thinking about Micheal, he’s grown a lot I though casting my mind back to the little boy with blonde hair I wonder what happened to him once I left.

I sat thinking on it for a few more mintues before I felt someone walking into the kitchen I turn around to see Micheal. He looked...really hot, the jeans I got fit him really well and the black shirt outlined his muscles perfectly, I felt my face going pink as he stood there in front of me, staring at me. I looked up to meet his gaze, it was the first time I had properly look him in the face since we were little I suppose, his eyes were dark brow to the point where they almost look black they were beautiful I started to begin to loose myself in those eyes, so much so that I didn’t realise nor stop my self when my hand began to move to his face cupping his cheeks, what am I doing I thought once my hand touched his face, my face getting closer to his how can one man even do this to me so quickly why am I so desperate to be near him he’s a killer but yet I want him.my head swirling as our face become closer and closer, I begin to feel his breath on my face, my arms wrap around his neck and his hands move down to my waist and he moves himself in between my thighs on the counter, bringing me closer to him as I feel myself press right up against him, god why did he have to be so sexy to me I though. Our lips so close, “am I interrupting something” I heard a nervous voice come from the doorway.

I turn quickly to see Elie stood looking nervous, standing next to the policeman that had came to my door a few days ago, “s-sorry I’m interrupting you two, but I’ve bine sent to this neighborhood again to tell yer about the situation” my face blushing scarlet as Micheal still hadn’t taken his hands off me yet in fact if anything he had tightened his grip on me, “ r-right yes thankyou c-could you just please go into the living room we’ll be there in a minute” I look up at Micheal and gently push him away from me he had a oddly hurt look on his face, “ would you like any coffee sir” I ask , “ why thank you little miss” he replied walking away into the living room with Elie.

I jump off the island and I look up at Micheal sternly “ listen Micheal, that man thinks your my boyfriend and if you want to continue staying here your going to have to play along, I know you’re not the most talkative person but if he ask you anything I need you to answer” he didn’t say anything, “ please Micheal, I don’t want you to go please do this for me” without thinking I wrapped my arms around his waist and look up at him, a slight pink cane across his face, “ fine” he said, “ but only because I want to stay with you” I blushed at his response and squeezed his, I made the guys coffe and walked into the living room, Micheal following behind me.

We sat across from the police guy “so sir what’s this about” I ask nervously gripping Micheal hand, “ please call me bill”, he said cheerfully, he looked over at Micheal “ I do t honk we’ve had the pleasure, he held his hand out to shake his, anxiety ran over my body as I watch Micheal, suddenly michel leaned over reaching for his hand and shook it before quickly grabbing my hand and squeezing it right. “ anyway enough introductions what’s this about” Elie ask sternly “ right, sorry luv, I’ve just come over to tell yer that we’ve bine tracking the car that’s he’s bine using and we’ve actually tracked it to Maine” my face suddenly began to brighten, “ so does this mean he’s left he town”, “must so miss but we’re still asking yer to be careful and make sure yer doors and window are locked” he said once again cheerfully.

After Bill left I quickly ran into Micheal arms, “ isn’t this great some stupid kids must have taken that car you stole to Maine, thing might finally dye down a bit” I said happily. “ he held me tight a small smile going across his face, “ I’m gonna be heading home Ilene”, I turn to see a relived looking Elie, “okay I’ll see you tomorrow at work” I have her a quick hug and waved her goodbye. Once I got back in and locked the door I looked at the clock 22:30 it said, I should get ready for bed I do have work tomorrow I thought. “ Micheal “ I said, he quickly came into the hallway, “ I’m gonna go to bed your welcome to stay down here for a bit though” he nodded and walked into the living room.

I sluggishly walked up the stair, I brushed my teeth and put on my pjs and climbed into my bed, relief washing over me, I was so happy that Micheal would be staying with me I do t know why but I don’t want harm to come his way I want to keep him safe Because he wants to keep me safe i thought about it for while before drifting into darkness. I woke up to the sound of my alarm, after a few minutes it took me a second to realise the hands that were clutching onto me, I began to rock Micheal in hopes to wake him up but all I got was an annoyed grunt, “ Micheal” I said but still no response, “ mikey...” I said in the best sexy tone I could muster up at 6:30 am, however it seem to work as his eyes open and he sat up to face me but then he place his head in my chest pulling me closer to him, oh shit I thought as I tried to pull away, “ please don’t go” I heard Micheal say muffled but my chest, “ but I need to go to work Micheal “ I said gently, I got no response I sighed and thought, I mean I haven’t had a day off since I started at that school, I thought, “ okay fine BUT only this once” I said annoyed he then look up at me his face emotioless but his eyes said everything. I stretched to reach my phone and on my night stand hoping the cable would reach me, I called Elie to tell her I wasn’t coming I and then the school to tell them I was Ill, you know the general excuse.

“Okay I’ve called I’m all your today, but tomorrow I’m going In no excuse” I said sternly. Suddenly he grabbed me lifeting me up as he sat cross legged so that I could sit in his laps my legs either side of him. “ why is your face so red” he ask, he leaned in close so his head was the crook of my neck, “am I embarrassing you” he asked innocently. I pushed away from his in shock, “WOAH, weres mister I don’t talk to anyone gone” I said laughing, “ I don’t feel like I can’t talk to you Ilene” the way he said my name made me feel so special. Once again without realisation my arms were wrapping around his neck as i pushed his down into the mattress so that I was on top, our face got closer until our lips finally connected, it was amazing I had never felt so much emotio in just one kiss, at this point I didn’t care that he was a killer he was mine in this moment, the kiss began to get more sloppy as our lips danced together my tongue exploring his mouth, suddenly I felt something, something hard pressing up against me, I couldn’t help my self but push further down on it making a slight grunt come from Michaels throat, I stopped and sat up “ looks like I’m the one making you nervous” I said with a smug look on my face. I heard a small laugh come from his lips, my face brightened I was so happy that I could make him laugh he always looked so sad to see him smile made me feel so good.

WARNING: mature content ahead (you’ve bine warned)

“I’ve missed you” he said, I froze for a moment staring into his eyes until he continued “ I was so lonely when you left I couldn’t wait until I would be able to see you again” I blushed as he expressed his disire for me, “am I really that special to you” I asked nervously embarrassed by all this attention “yes” he said plainly but his eyes said everything I needed to know, I bent down and peck his lips, “ I dont quite know what it is about you, but you make me feel like I can be myself and loose myself in you” I said. His face grew red at my remark until he quickly tossed me over so that he could be on top, I grew red as his mouth moved to my neck and earlobe kissing and licking me adding in small bites, it felt so good I placed my hand in his hair and neck. This really is crazy I thought me here messing around with a killer but I oddly didn’t care I want to be with him I don’t want this to go away I thought. He suddenly began to push his hips against me moving them rhythmically my grip tighten on his hair and I causiouy moved my hips upward to match his rthym.

Small moan escaping my lips as low grunt came from Micheal as he worked away on my neck. On god what am I going to do with him I thought slightly giggling into one of my moans. I loved this feeling Michael gave me, I never got this much lust when I was with peter or any of my ex’s this felt so real and right to me I never want it to stop. I started to kiss his neck biting and sucking in it, as I switched off my thoughts and letting pleasure take over. Michael slowly moved down from my neck to my collarbone as his hand moved up my shirt, a sudden embarrassment came over me, “ s-sorry there not very big “ I said face night red, with that he whipped of my shirt and just stared at me “ your perfect “ he said as he began to kiss my breast playing with them, my moans became louder as I felt his warm, wet mouth over my nipple sucking on it, “ohhhh my go-“ my moans cut of as he pulled away as disappointment spread across my face.

He sat up to take his shirt off and threw it across the room, my hands rubbing all over him, he really was well built he was so beautiful. He them harshly grabbed my wrist pulling them above my head before quickly pulling my pants down, I closed my eyes and I felt him kiss my stomach moving down further and further until I felt a warm mouth lick me, kiss me there, I couldn’t help my self I moaned out so loud, “ OH GO-Oood yEs rIgHt thErE” my voice shaking, his hand squeezing my thighs. I suddenly felt something cold push against my entrance as I felt his cold finger pushing into me, I yelped out, he kissed me on the lips gently to almost comfert me, as I relax he began pumping his finger in and out before adding another. I became a moaning mess as he kiss me roughly.

He then pulled his fingers out and kissed me again, I looked at his face it was red and flustered he was so cute, I pushed his over kissing him softly before my hand started to push his pants down I pulled him to the end of the bed as I knelt down I rubbed his back as I reached into his pants rubbing him gently his face a deep red and he pushed my hair out of my face. I pulled his member out, oh my god I thought blushing at the sight of it, it was big and thick. I began to kiss the tip and kissing all the way down before licking back up I took a dead breath and took him all in one, hearing him grunt and moan made me so happy that I could be the one to make him feel such strong emotion. My head bobbing up and down faster and faster before he grips my hair right grunting loud shooting his load into my throat before I swallow it. Both panting I snake my way back up into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist as he falls back into the bed pulling the cover around us.

Hello 👋 sorry if the mature bit was bad it was the first I’ve ever write but I hope you enjoyed it

[hisoillu-prompts]

Really long: Dragon AU

(sorry about paragraphs that seem rambly, this was me throwing ideas together. A fic that I was going to write but never got to it but it NEEDS to be made)

In which Hisoka is a dragon that terrorizes the kingdom of the Zoldycks, stealing livestock from farms, burning down towns, and killing all of their strongest warriors, including the ones sent to kill him. A truly fearsome beast indeed. 

They try to arrange for like a meeting with him but he doesnt show up the first time. Of course, the Zoldycks get pissed and Kikyo would throw a fit because how dare that vile creature, but they would call him again and again and just out of one part boredom and one part annoyance, hisoka would show up. Of course, despite how irritated they are, the two heads(most Silva since Kikyo is still internally fuming) would try to negotiate. But although interested in the gold they offered, Hisoka declines everything(as he does what he does for entertainment).

They ask him what he wants. He seems to think for a bit before asking for the whole household to gather in front of him. After looking, he picks killuia(that white haired kid of yours) since he thought he'll be the strongest/have the most potential(so they can fight lol). He doesnt really notice Illumi because he was kinda in a corner and is basically a shadow(as always), but Kikyo offers up illumi instead(he's my oldest[son]) because of course Hisoka cant take the heir- and Hisoka is would just be like 'eh sure he should be pretty strong too' and decides to let killuia 'ripen'. 

-a kinda transgression by having it sort of from the servants point of view? like 'the eldest prince, Illumi, was very...strange, even in his particularly weird  family. (Mention how he was like robot, empty dark home eyes, almost no emotion, follows orders, has a terrible empty aura kinda feeling, and is creepily good at fighting and killing) i have no idea im sorry

But when he actually gets Illumi the next day or something he's kinda like 'oh u arent scared' and Illumis like 'nah. Now what do u wanna do with me like srsly'

Illumi really longs for his house at first and is sort of at a loss at what to do without any orders, so he kinda just sits around and misses his bed and waits for Hisoka to get back or something. He’s glad that he was taken in place of killuia, as long as his family(and heir) were safe. 

-He eventually adjust, realizing that the silence in the cave really wasnt that new or different than in the castle

-Hisoka terrorizes a new town instead to make up his part of the bargain(although he goes back in his human form to see whats up sometimes) and its like most of the time he would just walk around in his human form as it was more convenient to fight people and yet not get him kicked out/ have to deal with the bother of people shouting at him for being a dragon and waving pitchforks and stuff, but he was kinda going for a chillaxing time when he decided to dragon form wreck Illumis kingdom. He had heard that it was a very strong kingdom of assassins, fairly famous, and he had decided to blow off some steam fighting, and he wasn't disappointed. Much.But anyway Illumi's kingdom was a little out of the way for him, he had to take longer time to reach there, the mountainous kingdom. Dragons all had one cave, unless they wanted to move their treasures to another one/ had another cave just for other treasures. His cave took almost 7/9 hours to fly to from the Zoldyck kingdom, and dragons flew pretty fast.

The Zoldyck family of assassins are basically a miniature kingdom, small with a town underneath their mountain that they protect. The town is relatively normal, with most everyone looking up to the deadly family looking after them. But there are some that try to train to become assassins with the zoldycks as inspiration(maybe they sponsor an assassin guild for the smaller kills they dont bother wasting time with).

-A random asshole villager dude saw illumi in town once with a disguise(as a female) and fell in ‘love’ and trains to be an assassin to rescue her(him) from the dragon. Inwardly he also wants to get into the zoldyck family as well, thinking he can if he impresses them with his rescue of illu and then marrying 'her'. Access to all that wealth and power made one considered untouchable. Illu is disgusted when he hears about this and claims that such a weakling wouldnt last a second in the presence of him nor his family.

-Anyway They both go to town together sometimes. In disguises of course, or if Illumi needs groceries

-eventually they just fall into an easy pattern and be friends and include a scene where Hisokas like 'alright Illu get ready another knight is here to rescue you(because they think you're a girl cough cough) and Illumis kinda just reading a book and letting out the occasional 'frightened(more like monotone) scream from his 'prison'(a giant birdcage cuz Hisoka is flashy as fuck) and the knight is kinda like 'ok that didnt sound like a very convincing scream/her voice isnt that great but i heard her beauty was astounding' -anyway so like Hisoka fuckin rekts him of course and one time a knight actually goes "RELEASE PRINCESS ILLUMI' and Hisoka smirks and Illumi twitches and after the knight is turned into crisps Hisoka turns to Illumi with a shit eating grin like "so i guess youre a princess. You never told me.."And Illumis just like fuck you

(very optional/not really fitting angst)

angst in how Kikyo gave up Illumi(the eldest. The strongest of the children. The one whos been with her the longest.) for Killuia, proving that she cared about him more. 'Or maybe it was because he was older, and this was just one of his responsibilities. But he couldn't help the foreign feeling of something shallowly sinking in his chest' Illumi still is kinda obsessed with Kil, but its more because he was suppose to be the heir and also Mil was kinda a bad child and Illumi actually was lonely so kil played with him a lot but their relationship slowly twisted into a sort of love hate for Illumi. Because even though he didnt care too much about the crown, he did care for his family. Although he wouldnt admit it; and his training refused to show a slip in his mask, Illumi did feel strangely empty when his family rained affection on Kil and only turned to him with orders on their lips. But no it couldnt be jealousy, no WAY would he be jealous of his younger bro! Hahaha! (Just keep telling yourself that, Ill)

(optional random angst end)

-Hisoka considers Illumi part of his 'treasure'/hoard and as all dragons are, he is fiercely protective of his hoard. Not that any thief could make it past Illumi, much less hurt him too much.

-when people describe illumi as 'beautiful and skilled' everyone always assumes that 1. Illu is a woman, and 2, 'skilled' meant as in embroidery or the such. Not in fighting/killing/assassinating. Not that he cant do embroidery because fuck yeah he can and frick yeah does it look good.So everyone is surprised when they see him decked out in armor with a blade pointed at their throat

-illumi like dies or almost dies and is turned into a dragon? Very rare, something about dragons being magical beings - anything can happen blah blah hisoka’s magic dragon magic infused into his body and now he’s filled with dragon magic that his strong will and body and mind turned into his own magic (i dont know where this idea came from, or really how else to explain it- just that past me had a good idea in mind that I now can’t remember)

-sleek, completely black dragon with blue gleam in scales if light hit them just right and sharp, wicked spines/spikes. All sharp angles and sharp lines, like any move can cut someone into ribbons. Deadly. He made hisoka, who was by no means a cuddly looking dragon, look almost soft-but despite misleading appearances, hisoka was definitely the more dangerous. What he lacked in looks he made up for in sheer brute strength and cunning.maybe stronger fire range too.

- illumi breathes blue flames, much much hotter. But small range. And could not stay in dragon form for long since originally human and originally not his dragon magic(it was like oxygen, reusable, but still limited).  Both of them had hard scales

If you looked carefully, you could tell. Hisoka was taller, bigger, you could see muscles rippling through every limb. Illumi lurked more in the shadows, looking slightly bored. .

[gildedink]

The warm, early summer air felt great in Yun’s lungs. There was a light breeze, playing with the grass and her hair as she came slowly out of her meditative state. The days were getting longer and soon it would be Tenshi’s birthday. She opened her eyes and saw the sparkling sea. With the sloped nature of Umi No Hoseki, most places had a wonderful vantage point of the sea. With a stretch she stood, enjoying the feeling of relaxed muscles. Things were going well and the little vacation of hopping from city to city in Mikaizu had been surprisingly enjoyable.

With a flush she remembered last night and the sweet things that had been done. She knew under her clothes were love marks and she smiled softly to herself. It had been a bit awkward at first; there really wasn’t anyone to ask or a guide of some sort when dealing with three people. Plus, there were the lines between herself and Gali. Still, it had been wonderful and she felt light and full of gratitude. She hoped Tenshi and Sasami felt as happy as she did when they were together. The sound of someone walking up the hill made her turn, tense. Supposedly there was safety in this little valley, protected by shark-guarded seas and a huge, sheer mountain, but experience told her never to relax. The person crested over the hill.

“Oh… good morning Azusa-san.” She greeted, using the honorifics employed by the region.

“Good morning Qi-san.” Azusa replied. He was soaked, water dripping messily from his hair. He pushed it out of his face as best as he could. “Meditating?”

“Yes. It’s been a while unfortunately. Being able to meditate properly.”

The teen smiled. “There’s a group of waterfalls the local priests use to meditate. I’m sure cool water would be preferable during the summer.”

“That’s a wonderful suggestion. I’ll look into it. Thank you.” Azusa nodded but continued to stare at the woman. She shifted uncomfortably. “Yes?”

“Sorry.”

“… it’s how I look, isn’t it?”

He bowed. “Again, I’m sorry. That was rude.”

“It’s fine… never been out of the village then?”

“Not often, no. I’ve seen a few traders that have the blood of the Far North but… none of them have ever looked like you. May I… look closer?”

Yun hesitated for a moment. She hated being stared at. She hated being so othered. But Azusa was asking out of genuine curiosity, not cruelty. She nodded and the boy came closer, still slick with water. His eyes slowly took her in, like observing an interesting puzzle of piece of art. The expression was very reminiscent of Sasami. There were siblings after all. He took in the pale, messy curls, the milky skin, her short frame. Finally, his eyes landed on hers. Looking right into the eyes of a Jurai, Yun could see how Tenshi had been so captivated. The irises were as silver as moonlight, as mirrors, as frost, as the winter sea. To the woman’s shock, she saw a deep, heavy sorry that didn’t match Azusa’s youth.

“You have his eyes. Like tanzanite.”

The priestess blinked. “Pardon? He?”

Azusa stepped back and bowed. “Thank you, Qi-san.”

“What did you mean?”

“Mean?”

“’His eyes’. Who’s eyes?”

“Who’s he?”

“You said he.”

“I did?”

“Of course you did.”

“You were the one to bring up a ‘he’. Are you talking about Keo-san?” Azusa tilted his head. “You two are involved, correct? I smell his scent on you… and another's.”

Yun flushed. She was getting confused. “Didn’t you say, when you looked at my eyes, they were like ‘his eyes’?”

“No.” The disagreement was emphasized with a headshake. Droplets flew from the wet tips of his hair. The two stared at each other, one glaring and the other wide-eyed innocence. “I will take my leave.” He bowed again and left down the hill. Yun stared after him; she’d heard him correctly… hadn’t she? Who’s eyes had the teen seen in hers?

----------------------------------------

Laughter rung through the air as the sun shone. Alexander dragged Matvey by the arm, pushing through the throng of people surrounding those dancing in the middle. A band was struck up, playing a tune fast and lively. “Come on, come on!”

“You won’t die if you don’t join the dance.” Matvey complained. “I hate the dances.”

“Bullshit. Come on, let’s show off. Maybe we’ll get lucky this year.” They reached the inner edge of the crowd leading to the large circle where men and women danced. Some danced in pairs, others in clusters. Spring fever was in the air and the people of Rutsia were eager to shake off the harsh cold for however long they could. Alexander rocked back and forth on his feet, trying to find a good opening. “Come on, come on….”

“Just go without me. I don’t want to dance.”

“But you used to love it before!”

Matvey scowled. “Shit changes.”

The shorter teen sighed but let the matter drop. He cared far more about joining the dance and letting off steam. After a bit he saw his chance and jumped in, falling in step with the other men. The sun was brilliant, nature’s spotlight. He jumped and kicked and spun and danced. At some point he haphazardly threw her jacket off, leaving him in his shirt and vest. A pretty girl with vines and snowbuds in her hazel-colored hair was his partner, her red and blue skirts swirling as the spun. Alexander laughed, loving the thrill of the dance, the warmth of the air, the scent of new life. It was these moments that made him happiest, that made life worth living. He remembered his mother’s skirts as they swirled in spring, how his father would lift her up, spin her around. How he would then, too be picked up and spun.

In the dance he was with them again. In the spring he was home, if only for a few moments as ephemeral as the warmth the season brought.

--------------------------------------------------

With a lazy sigh, Matvey sunk into the bed. He was tired. The constant chatter of know-nothings, arguments and hissing matches wore on him. Here, he could have some peace. The servant added more logs to the fireplace, bowed and left. He didn’t bother to take off his boots, letting his feet simply dangle off the bed’s edge. He wanted to just let his body sink for a moment, feel the heaviness of it.

He still had to give an answer. Would he contract or not. Would he damn himself or not. He wanted to break the man that had broken him but something made him hesitate. A nagging. Memories of a perogies offered. Of warm smiles and a gaze that not only saw him but loved him. Was power worth crushing the little bit of sweetness he’d gained in life, leaving nothing but diamond dust? He thought of the beatings, the yelling, the cursing. The cold. The loneliness. The fact that Alexander had been offered a better life and had never looked back. The choice should be easy.

Still, hope kept burning in his chest. Hope that things would mend. Hope that the loneliness would end. Hope. Hope. Hope. That horrible, disgusting thing that drove him and other abandoned souls to keep being abused in a world that didn’t give a damn. He wanted to rip it to pieces. He wanted hope to stop existing. …he wanted his best friend back. His only friend. He wanted those eyes to stop looking at others and look at him again. He wanted his sanity back. He knew too much, he knew too little. He was a missy conflict, a being who craved power, fame, adoration from all yet from the one that truly mattered it never came.

Matvey wondered if he was always destined to be damned. Damned by a contract with the forbidden or damned by the chains of hope. The true question was which shackles could be stand.

- Shards of Emotion, Snow

[yeoldontknow]

hello! firstly i love, love, LOVE your fanfics (hardcore chanyeol stan here), and secondly i actually draw a lot of inspiration from you so i kinda wanted to know what your job is like and how do you cope with pressure?? cause i'm struggling at uni and i feel so lost about my career

hi anon!! omfg thank you so much for this cute compliment awww! I ALWAYS WELCOME THE CHANYEOL STANS!!! this blog is your home my love

oh hun. im sorry to hear youre struggling. :( uni is hard and stressful especially because you feel pressured to choose something you think of as a career - essentially deciding so young what you will do the rest of your life. the first thing im going to say is that what i went to university AND graduate school for is not TECHNICALLY what im doing with my career. i went to school for film and learned the following:

- editing- critical theory- film festival/event management- film archiving- museum curation

precisely none of what what im doing with my job relates back to my BA. my MA was kind of where i figured out what i should be doing. my MA was all critical theory and i realized i wanted to do something with film AND music. so i started work in music supervision and wrote my MA thesis on psychoanalysis/nostalgia and film soundtracks. that was how i figured out what i WANTED to do with my life but it still doesnt actually match what i do everyday/get paid for. what i do is CLOSE to my dream job, but not quite.

i mentioned all of that because sometimes what you do in uni doesnt give you the full spectrum of possibility. internships and work placements really help you see what other options are out there in the realm of your interests. also if youre struggling right now because you just arent sure, its ok to take a gap year after uni to volunteer or figure out your future. in the US theres A LOT of pressure to get a job right out of school, and that simply couldnt happen for me. even after i got my MA i had to work retail for a year before i could get into the company i wanted. 

as for my current job, while i dont feel comfortable saying what it is, i will say i work in a creative industry but i mostly have a desk job. my day to day job is very demanding and requires my full focus when im there because our industry moves so quickly, especially the department im in. i handle a lot of things for a lot of people, and also work with other companies to make things happen for our clients so coping with pressure is a thing i deal with regularly. 

if im feeling pressured to finish a thing or figure out a thing, i kind of just emotionally separate myself from it for a minute and try to compartmentalize things. ‘which of these is more important?’ ‘how do i finish this?’ ‘what do i need to do to get all these things done?’ 

doing that kind of makes me realize that some things im pressuring myself about cant be done that very moment and probably arent as important as other things on my plate. so i just work by priority. handling it this way doesnt mean im not feeling stressed. i get stressed pretty easily, but ive learned to breathe through it. sometimes ill vent to a friend - ive sent @kpopandlock MANY texts before meetings. hell there was a day i was in back to back meetings and couldnt eat until 4 and was so hungry and tired i wanted to cry, but because i got to talk to her while getting lunch i got all my worries off my chest and felt well enough to finish out my day. i was TIRED AS HELL but didnt feel low about the day, just was relieved to be home and relaxing.  

i also really like...i take self care very seriously because i am someone who gets stressed easily, devotes too much of her time worrying about work and is definitely the type to burn out/get depressed if i dont pay attention to myself. so i practice meditation every night to relax my muscles and heal my mind. i also do facemasks a couple nights a week to keep my skin healthy and free of stress signs. while i do a mask i usually watch videos that make me happy. i cook almost every night with a few glasses (or a bottle) of wine. its important to me that i leave what pressures me at the door so that my home is free of that energy. 

i hope some of this was helpful to you angel