#ill always have a happy life separate from him and he'll never know about it and he is literally incapable of stopping me

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

did you know that my dad uses a lighter to light agarbatti like it's a mosquito thing and

[impactedfates]

hello! platonic astral express (mostly welt and dan heng) + jing yuan with a teen reader like collei?

they were used as an experiment from a very young young thankfully the crew/jing yuan found and rescued them, they also took them in but they were still traumatized from their time as an experiment,they are chronically ill which makes them weak and are scared of being touched due to their time as an experiment subject

★ A/N: Colleis backstory makes me so sad :(( I love her sm. Characters here are just Dan Heng, Welt and Jing Yuan

☆ Genre/Trope: Platonic + Hurt/Comfort (kinda?)

★ Format: Mini Scenarios (Separate)

☆ Warnings: Implied torture + human experiments on reader // Scar/injuries mentions

★ Extra: Reader is shorter then characters // Reader is with the Express

Dan Heng is very careful around you, whether or not he sees himself as threatening he doesn't know if YOU'D see him as threatening. He could quickly tell how untrustworthy you were when the Express found you. And based on the scars scattered around your body, some clearly new as it seems they were inflicted on you recently and how you held up a make shift dagger towards them, you seem to have a very good reason not to trust them.

It takes some time but eventually Himeko and Welt do manage to gain your trust and let you on board so they can give you a better life then what you had experienced.

Dan Heng makes sure to always be gentle with you and helps you when you need help, he himself isn't much of a touchy person himself but he still ensures to steer clear from any touches, even the lighter ones.

He allows you in the databanks, especially when you have nightmares. He has them himself, although he isn't completely sure about what the nightmare is about, he'll never pry. Only comfort you.

He's also a bit more hesitant to show his dragon form, he doesn't want to potentially scare you but if there comes a time where he for any reason NEEDS to get into that form, he'll inform you and if you want he'll ask March or the Trailblazer to bring you away.

Overall: Dan Heng is careful around you, making sure that whatever he does doesn't trigger you in anyway - he makes sure he doesn't touch you, even slightly and comforts you if you ever have nightmares. He thinks a lot of his actions through just encase it may affect you negatively.

Welt was the first to attempt to gain your trust, his fatherly instincts kicked in as soon as he saw you, he could tell despite the face you put up to try and scare the others behind that was a scared child.

So he was patient with you, took the time to gain your trust, carefully tended to your injuries when you allowed him and as soon as you were comfortable to be on the express. He became your father, whether or not there was any paperwork done or not, you have eventually seen him as your father.

Due to his age (*cough cough* grandpa *cough cough*) he's very smart, so he takes the time to teach you, if you don't understand he'll go over it again and make sure he does it in a way that you'll understand.

He can tell that most of your childhood seems to be lost. So he attempts to make you smile, experience a good childhood you seemed to have missed.

He can also tell that your chronically ill, you're more weaker then others so he offers to get you a cane, something that can provide aid for you so it's hopefully more bearable for you, and if you ever get to weak for even that? He's more then happy to carry you, he'll always ask first as he does know you're a bit more hesitant on being held or touched in general.

If you ever have nightmares he'll make you some tea and listen to you about what it was, even if you decided to not tell him he'll keep you company.

Overall: Welt is a very patient man, who became your unofficial father, knowing that your childhood was seemingly mostly lost he tries to make up for it and he also teaches you the basics of everything. He offers a cane to hopefully help you with your more weak body.

When Jing Yuan first met you, he knew something was wrong. Whether or not you looked better then how you looked before meeting the Express, he's still a General and can catch a lot of things. He won't pry at all but when you're not around will ask about it. He's worried, a child so young and it seems like you've been hurt more then you've smiled?

He doesn't wish to pry, he knows it's none of his business but the fact he knows something bad happened to you and likely at a young age doesn't please him one bit.

Just like Welt, he's patient with you. He's also very careful around you. One time when he was supervising you he happened to summon Lightning Lord as some enemies tried to ambush you and this seemed to send you into a panic, Jing Yuan quickly made sure the enemies were gone before checking on you, being careful not to touch you but still finding a way to comfort you.

Whether or not he manages to calm you down is up to you, however you'll end up with a blanket wrapped around you in the comforts of his office. He'll give you various of games you can play, books or whatever. If you want to try a new hobby he'll get someone to get anything needed for it.

Overall: I think he's similar to Welt however he does sometimes scare you unintentionally. Whether it be due to having to summon Lighting Lord or even hearing him talk in his more "General" voice, he does feel bad though. He doesn't mean to scare you and if you're around he does try not to do either.

Sorry if this take a while to do wrjggdvg. This was slightly difficult to write as I wasn't too sure what direction to take but hopefully this is okay!

[sweetlorettafart]

I was reading the Spanish translation of pokespe and imo the way they handled the Giovanni and Silver reunion in frlg is just so different to the English version in some ways. ngl it's hard for me to really translate the emotional undercurrent in the Spanish version into English but hopefully it's enough for my point to make a bit of sense. I'm probably looking too much into this but I'm in too deep to care anymore:

(incredibly rushed) TRANSLATION: If it weren't for these flames... I could hug/hold you right now!!

English version for comparison:

It's not to say that Giovanni isn't clearly emotional in the English translation but he just sounds so much more urgent in Spanish. It's as if he can't wait anymore, he just NEEDS to have Silver back in his arms right now, whereas there's a less desperate but just as clear longing in his English dialogue... I love both of them so much they're like two equally compelling manifestations of the same grief. The English version is exactly how I'd imagine Giovanni would act in this situation, but man, there's just something about the outright emotion in the Spanish version that gets to me, it makes the whole situation really hit you, like this man had his toddler son cruelly taken from him, spent years not knowing if he was even alive, tried to find him before his terminal illness claimed him only to not even be able to properly interact with him once they're together again because of his own creation (big fan of how the thing separating Giovanni from being able to be with his son is the very organisation he created hibqefhf), and he's not sure if he'll even live through this... the whole situation is just getting to him a lot more obviously in this version. Also ik Spanish pokespe uses a lot of exclamation marks but I still think it changes the vibe of the scene.

The dialogue when Giovanni notices Silver's handkerchief is pretty different as well actually. They both have him say something about Silver's habit of losing his things but they differ a bit at the end. In English Giovanni is glad that Silver finally managed not to lose his things but the Spanish version has him say that since Silver kept his handkerchief, and that handkerchief has his name on it, then people would probably know to call him by the name Giovanni gave him (ie Silver) so it's like he's glad that Silver at least still goes by the name he gave him or something.

TRANSLATION:

PANEL 1: You were a child who would lose everything. We'd put your name on your things, but it was no use... you always needed tons of replacements...

PANEL 2: If you have that on you, then people probably call you...

PANEL 3: By the name your father gave you... Silver!

I can see what they were going for there it's as if he's kind of clinging to a remnant of life before Silver was kidnapped, that being that he still went by Silver, but I think I prefer the English version of this part, it just flows better coming out of the anecdote of Silver losing his things to me. I do like that it indicates that it was Giovanni who chose the name Silver it's honestly a pretty insignificant detail but it makes me happy lmao.

Also Giovanni calls Silver 'little rascal' in the Spanish translation and omg I will never be the same again.

TRANSLATION: Look how you're all covered in mud... you're hopeless (affectionate), little rascal...

THE ENGLISH VERSION SHOULD'VE HAD GIOVANNI USE A PETNAME FOR SILVER LIKE IN THE SPANISH VERSION LITTLE RASCAL IS JUST SO CUTE

[randoimago]

hey , i'm new to your blog but i made sure to read thru ur rules so i hope this request is ok , just in case a cw for talking abt illness , can i please request phoenix wright and simon blackquill (separate) comforting the reader bc they just got told a health issue they have been dealing with ever since childhood is actually chronic ? (it's not mortal but its also meaning she can do stuff to keep it under control but there is no deffinite cure so it will never fully go away) thanks for your attention and have a nice day / night and remember to drink water

Comforting an S/O With a Chronic Health Condition

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Character(s): Phoenix Wright, Simon Blackquill

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): I'll be sure to tag the cw!! And I hope you have a nice day / night too! Do your best to take care of yourself ❤️

Phoenix Wright

He knew about your health condition causing you lots of issues. You've spoken to him about this in the past and how it's been a nuisance since your childhood. And now you came back from your doctor's appointment and shared that this isn't just some illness, but something that you'll have for life.

Phoenix does his best to help with accommodations as he did before you learned this new information. He tells you to not stress too much about things and that he never needs an explanation if you have to cancel a date or anything. Just know that he's by your side and nothing will change that.

If you'd like, he'd be happy to attend any doctor's appointment from now on if you want the support. Even if he just waits outside, he's fine with it. Just know that while it is heartbreaking to know that there isn't a cure, he will always be there for you so you'll never be alone.

Simon Blackquill

Will make your doctor's do every test possible when you learn the news that your condition is chronic. Even if the tests can't cure you, there has to be something that will help give an idea of what you both can do to lessen your condition.

Do not hesitate to ask him for anything. He knows that you might feel some stubbornness about wanting to act like everything is normal, and he'll treat you as such if you wish, but know that if you ever do want his help or need something of him then he will do whatever he can for you.

When he was stuck in prison, there had been a few support groups made for different situations. Perhaps, if you wish, you could find support groups to help you emotionally and mentally. He would never force anything on you, but he'd be more than willing to help you look into it.

[pjsk-writin]

Heyo! So nice to see you alright and healthy. I wanted to request twins hcs with minori, tenmas (separate), and the hinomoris (also separate). What I meant from separate is reader is the twin of the younger and vice versa.

weheh ty!! been having ups and downs but yk. ppl will be ill sometimes/lh but absolutely, hope u like this !! <3

♡ TWIN - Minori Hanasato, Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Shizuku Hinomori and Shiho Hinomori x Reader

Minori:

You KNOW that you are forced to be exposed to idols as Minori's twin-

She loves idols so much!! They give her nothing but hope, so she exposes you to them! If you're also into idols, she'll do choreo with you in the living room!

You're also there for her when she continuously gets rejected by idol industries. She never gives up, of course! She just feels disappointed as the days pass

You'll find that she perks up after she starts her idol training, and you can imagine your delight when she comes home rambling to you about MMJ!

She drags you to almost every single concert that she can, knowing that you've been her number one fan for years! She appreciates your support so much!

Unless you don't like dogs, the two of you will walk Samo together, and she may or may not ramble about her groupmates-

She adores you with all of her heart! You know how she cheers Haruka on? She does the exact same with you, she even made a little banner with your name on it to carry around-

Tsukasa:

As is the case with Saki, Tsukasa always tried his best to make you smile! You might've only been a few minutes apart, but he will make sure you're happy!

As you both grow up, your childhoods are.. something. You find him wanting to pursue becoming a star, which is good for him! It's just.. interesting to see how he seemed to be forgetting a lot of things.

He ranted a lot about how he thought he deserved a bigger stage than the Wonder Stage, but you could also tell how overtime, it was growing on him, as his groupmates were

He resolved to going on the journey he was going on with WxS, and you could tell that they all meant a lot to him!

Despite that, you and Saki are always his number one supporters, so he often invites you both to shows!! He'll give you a big hug at the end of each one

If you like messing with him, pull out the fake bugs. He will scream out of his mind but he also adores you too much to stay upset at you...Just never give him another heart attack-

The two of you also more than likely tag team hanging out with Saki, she's your little sister so you both (mostly Tsukasa) plan little fun events for the three of you!

Saki:

You and Saki were practically inseparable! Two little twins running around with Tsukasa chasing after you

Things certainly shift when she gets hospitalized, but you don't mind one bit. You visit her constantly (as does Tsukasa, but he gets thrown out for noise complaints-)

When she gets out of the hospital, she tries to bond with Leo/Need again, only to find that the dynamic is weird. Since you were close with them all as well, you knew how strange it felt

The two of you worked together to try and get the gang back together again, and it works! Leo/Need forms, and Saki is happier than ever!

You are obviously dragged along to practices, Shiho will probably tell her to calm down because she's just so excited to have you there with them!

There are times where she pushes herself past her limit, and you basically have everything on hand to help her out. Twin teamwork!

She just adores you, Tsukasa and the rest of Leo/Need so much!! She constantly takes you around, wanting to live out the middle school life that she always wanted!

Shizuku:

Shizuku has an...interesting and very different life growing up compared to you, but of course, she still adores you!

She never really wanted to be an idol, but she decided to roll with it. You definitely can tell that the life is both exciting and terrifying to her-

She'll ramble about being an idol with you, eyes sparkling as she describes how fun it is!...At least, at first.

She hears all about how she's only famous for her looks, and she can only come to you for comfort through it all. Thankfully, it all changes once she joins MMJ!

You can tell just how much happier she is, and she loves nothing more than to gush about you to her groupmates as she brings you around backstage

We all know had bad she is with directions and technology, so most of the time you're the one to help her (unless you're also just as bad, then Shiho has to deal with it.)

Shiho is thankful that you exist, because you definitely take away some of the attention Shizuku showers her with- You're both just gushed over by your sister!

Shiho:

Shiho has always been the type to stay closed off and quiet, but as her twin, you're part of the group of people allowed to "bother" her

It would definitely be strange to see you both without the other, so of course you were brought along to hang out with the rest of Leo/Need

You noticed she started to close herself off even more, the only person she didn't seem to isolate from was you. Even then, she didn't want you to be by her for long

You weren't entirely sure of the specifics, but she came home clutching her bass guitar, smiling as she told you about Leo/Need. It was the happiest you'd seen her

She occasionally drags you along to practices, and has to pry all of them off of you because they missed hanging out with you as well-

You're also the only person she willingly shows her pet games to. Will she embarrassed out of her mind? Yes. But she trusts you-

Also another case where your existence shifts Shizuku's attention between you both, which Shiho is very thankful for-

[augment-techs]

28, 32, 39 for the Ship Ask Game for BillySkull

Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other? With all things being equal, Billy grew up in a house with loving parents who provided for him and tried to teach him the basics of life so he could get along, but most of the time he was always in his head with calculations and theoretical problems and just ate whatever was in front of him without taking in how it got there. Therefore, when he was finally on his own, only then did he realize...recipe instructions are liars or idealists. He can cook for himself, but would never want to subject anyone to anything else he might make other than that floral tea he got very specific instructions on from Trini.

Skull on the other hand learned as much as he could so he didn't accidentally poison himself with the food he scraped together for most of his childhood; and only got better as he got older. He can make choco-strawberry cinnamon shortcake waffles, traditional Ukrainian Paska bread, lime jello fudge that Bulk claims causes Summer Camp flashbacks, Nutella stuffed donuts, Pupusa cheesy and thick, and a special kind of steak soaked in red wine so rich and easy to cut that it melts in the mouth. Really, if Billy hadn't already been into him, he would have dropped his pants five seconds after eating any one of those dishes and jumped Skull's bones for the rest of eternity. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them? Being that he has a rough time being a Ranger and has earned personal time, Billy does imbibe in champagne during celebrations or wine during a rich dinner, but is very much a light weight, so he paces himself and never goes above three flutes or glasses. The one time he went too far, Skull took him home, made him drink an entire 8oz. glass of water, and made sure there was a bin next to the bed for when he puked his guts out. Followed up by making him light toast and chewy bacon that Billy actually managed to keep down...even while wrapping himself around Skull like a sloth. Skull has lived his entire life with a family that imbibe in horrible garbage and do terrible things because of it. The most he'll take on is a bottle of the shittiest beer, and maybe a Bloody Mary if it slides his way. (Except in the Coinless Universe; there Skull has trained himself to drink an entire bottle of pure vodka or good tequila and not die... but nobody takes care of him the next day, except usually one of his fellow sentries standing outside of the communal bathrooms wincing while he pukes, looking to give him an egg and some coffee.) When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why? When they were tiny little kids, Skull told him Billy he loved him in little ways right up until the blond broke his heart and they separated into different venues of life for almost two decades. Helping him tie his shoes, carrying him around on his shoulders during parades, giving him the last cupcake in a box, finding him four leafed clovers to tuck in his hair, bandaging Billy's scraped knees and then kissing them better. When they were in their thirties and got back in touch after a decade of absolutely nothing (which Skull didn't have a choice in and Billy felt like shit about); it took a long time of getting to know each other again before they could even come close. Billy had an inter-galactic relationship that didn't work out even after he realized he was gay and his partner was a trans man, spent all his time teaching or supplying material for Ranger teams on Earth without stepping foot there until his mom took ill, and spent the rest of his time trying to bring Zordon back. Skull had a child that he kept safe and happy, even while having absolutely no help--Bulk on Mirinoi, his mother hating him, his brother with his own husband going through health issues--and having to spend his first few years as a parent being a street worker. He got lucky selling a couple jingles, which lead him to getting signed up as a singer for a theme song for a hit Japanese anime, which lead him to become popular as a singular artist. Fortunately, Skull doesn't have his head stuck up his ass and noticed how well Billy got along with his son. A year later and Billy finally says the words, which Skull simply replied with, "About time, dummy."

[wholemleko]

all the main corvus characters (or just felicia or maxwell if that's too much) 🤥💥💢🍧🌙🙈🔪🌌🪤🚆✏️❇️🌪️💧🌠

OH HELL YEAH…. Time for rambles

This turned out very very long yfsgfjhd oop answers under the read more

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Felicia: Lies a lot cause she's always up to something and sometimes she's found out, sometimes she's not, usually she's found out only if things get very out of hand. She doesn't have any tells and is a very good actor

Maxwell: He would lie in the sense of playing a character I guess? The facade never lasts though

Charlie: He's not the best liar since he gets very fidgety and nervous when he does, but the actual truths that he tries to hide are outlandish enough to the people he's lying to that they wouldn't have guessed and so he gets away with it anyway

Sam: Very bad at lying. She finds it upsetting and might get so nervous about it she might cry

Amy: She would try so hard but she'd be the sort who would start smiling too much and not know what direction to look when lying so

Damian: He doesn't really lie much but if he did, he'd probably be the best at it. No tells, and since he lies very sparingly, he would only do so with some sort of plan in mind in case things go wrong

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Felicia: Helplessness and shame. Not feeling in control can straight up make her feel physically ill and she feels shame as a result of feeling helpless

Maxwell: Guilt. He will assume everything is his own fault and if someone else hurts him he will believe that he did something to deserve it

Charlie: Also guilt but in a different way. He will feel responsibility for others and the harm that comes their way so overwhelmingly that it takes over his life

Sam: Loneliness and fear. I guess she has a lot of separation anxiety and will just implode if she doesn't connect with others enough and may quickly assume the worst has occurred (e.g. someone has become traumatized and distant as a result and she can't do anything about it) she's kind of similar to Charlie actually but she's more likely to cross other people's boundaries while Charlie gets his boundaries crossed

Amy: Envy. If she gets compared to someone else in a disapproving manner she'll act out and go even further away from what is expected of her. Like, oh, you think I'm a worse student than my sister? Just you wait and see just how much I can Fail

Damian: Happiness tbh. He'll assume something has gone wrong or that something will go wrong very soon. He doesn't know how to live in a state of actual security so it ironically makes him feel insecure

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Felicia: She has no sleep schedule at all and will be out and around her living space at ungodly hours

Maxwell: He's just cringe as fuck. Also leaves hairpins everywhere

Charlie: Will spend too much money and time on fancy coffee and tea. You will find many jars of concoctions in the fridge

Sam: Anime merch everywhere

Amy: She will steal from you. Small things like food and pens probably

Damian: Frequently hear him mucking around on his instruments and when you try to talk to him he may not respond the first few times when he's engaged in the Music

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

Felicia: She has a lot of things. Plushies and old notebooks and the like. She would be p sad but they're not like That significant. Also her friendship bracelets, which to her mark a decision to try to change for the better but they are also a symbol of failure to her in some ways since she, hasn't really gotten better in the end. She would be rather distressed if she lost them but it might be good for her actually

Maxwell: A red anemone flower pin. It was a gift from Charlie and has a lot of sentiment tied to it. Seeing it reminds him of things that make him feel awfully guilty and sorrowful but he would also wear it all the time like some kind of memento mori thing I guess. He would be devastated if he lost it

Charlie: Also a red anemone flower pin, a matching one he got for himself. He has come to see it as a representation of a period of friendship that he and Maxwell can't ever return to even if they are still close. He would also be devastated if he lost it and it might actually fuck him up a bit

Sam: A few basic items that may seem mundane but were the few things she was able to grab when her family had to flee their old home. I think losing any of these things would make her old life feel even further lost.

Amy: She doesn't really have much from a very young age left, not of any significance. Everything has either been sold, given away or thrown out. She has a subconscious resentment about this, amongst other things

Damian: His first guitar. It's full of memories for him since his grandfather taught him how to play it, and his grandfather is very very important to him. He'd probably feel like part of his childhood and one of the few actually good parts vanished if he lost it.

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

Felicia: To be a good person, or a good person in her own mind. She is so convinced she is evil and broken

Maxwell: Right now, probably to be able to forget large portions of his life, or at least to be able to live with it

Charlie: To keep everyone he cares about safe and alive and healthy

Sam: Same as Charlie

Amy: To be free from disappointment and to feel more like a person than just an extension of other people

Damian: Just to be at ease

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

Felicia: The fact her mind is often filled with images and thoughts of violent and harmful things and she can't control it

Maxwell: If it's the people he has to work for, it's the fact that he hates them and wants to just live a normal life. If it's the people he cares about, it's the fact that he has literally killed people and had for a long while given up on trying to resist the whims of the evil authorities with power over him

Charlie: He thinks himself a potential danger to anyone who starts to care about him too much and so he hides anything he thinks could bring about the danger

Sam: Just how much fear holds her back despite her desire to protect others, she believes herself a coward

Amy: Any ounce of insecurity or sign that an insult has gotten to her. Any sign that she does in fact feel inadequate, even in extreme situations

Damian: He's pretty honest but I suppose maybe his power hungry moments, though he's not entirely aware of them himself so he doesn't really deliberately try to keep people from seeing this ya feel

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

Felicia: She'll blame herself for sure if there is direct evidence that she was involved somehow and will question her own moral integrity for allowing such a thing to happen. A thing in her subconscious may also think the person who got hurt should have just Done Better and she will hate this thought

Maxwell: He will literally obsess over all the ways he could have prevented the thing from happening. The self blame will be Immense. He'll be able to pull himself together enough to help them but internally he'll be screaming

Charlie: Same as Maxwell but it happens so much more often that it will literally drive him into the worst of mental states

Sam: She may blame herself but will be able to focus on helping the person much more quickly. She'll blame herself more heavily if her efforts don't amount to what she hoped for.

Amy: She'll subconsciously blame herself but externally and within her own actual awareness she'll be like nahh not my fault no way. ye

Damian: He will most easily be able to divert his attention to problem solving and will take responsibility sometimes but in a like. diplomatic sort of way?? Emotions: squished

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Felicia: She spawned originally as a side character who was supposed to have a bubbly outside demeanor but be hiding things

Maxwell: Started way back when I was 12 and back then he was one of the villain sidekicks in a comic about mice I wrote lmaoo. I kept blorbifying him as time passed and then eventually turned him into a human character. Then I wrote a fanfic for a series that shall not be named and when I left that fandom I wanted to keep the story but change the characters and he was similar enough to one of them that I substituted him in. Then the story evolved so much it is entirely unrecognizable from its original form.

Charlie: Was originally a character in the aforementioned fanfic and has always been Maxwell's love interest

Sam: Appeared as a random oc I made while bored in class

Amy: Same as Sam. They were created together

Damian: Also a fanfic character originally who strayed so far from canon and then went through like 4 more iterations.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

Felicia: The opportunity to prove herself and her abilities and competence both to herself and her family

Maxwell: The whims of his emotions tbh

Charlie: Loved ones in danger lol

Sam: Lowkey trying to mimic Amy's more brash behavior but she would never admit to it. She is tired of her own reserved nature

Amy: the Chaos baybee

Damian: Some opportunity to progress and move up

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

Felicia: Explode the trolley

Maxwell: Run over the 1 guy and then let the driver be euthanized if the driver wants it

Charlie: He cannot decide

Sam: Just let it run don't touch the lever

Amy: Flip a coin

Damian: You will get an ethical philosophical tirade but no actual answer

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

Felicia: from The Falcom by Mimi and Richard Farina

Oh, the falcon was a pretty bird Wandered as she flew She danced around and pranced around Wherever the warm winds blew And the falcon was a pretty bird Her voice was always still But men with drums and men with guns They taught her how to kill

Maxwell: from Cocaine Lights by Phosphorescent

And to color my eyes into rose Is to ask of my beaten bones To be less of meat and stone And more of feather

In the darkness After the cocaine lights I will miss you With no warning

Charlie: from Vacant by Echos

No space in your broken veins left for me I know that you're empty, I know that you're empty

You don't even look the same with your brand new eyes And you drained the light out of yourself and now you can't see Well, I've been waiting for you to get your mind right

Sam: from Obstacles by Syd Matters

Let's say sunshine for everyone But as far as I can remember We've been migratory animals Living under changing weather

Someday we will foresee obstacles Through the blizzard, through the blizzard Today we will sell our uniform Live together, live together

Amy: from Blood Sucker by Harley Poe

But I'll stop pretending that I'm something I was never meant to be It wasn't fulfilling me Oh it was killing me I'm turning myself into something that's perfect for me I'm learning lessons as I live You want to get, you got to give You really want it, you have got to fight But I think I'll be a child of the night

Damian: from The Song with Five Names by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

Why, I can’t see, that I am the “me” that I was born into And what’s the source of you? In your head, in your head, in your head And yet you believe it’s true, well you do Like you knew anything ever Never trust in yourself or anyone else, we’ve always all been wrong And we built these walls strong

I noticed that the sunshine is a gaslight I’m hoping that this one might be my past life My Lord, I know enough to get my facts right And that’s good enough for me And everything and everyone will die soon And we’ll have nothing left for us to lie to No matter what we seek you’ll never find truth And that’s good enough for me

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

Many of these are the same as the childhood object question oop

Felicia: Her friendship bracelets

Maxwell: Flower pin

Charlie: Flower pin

Sam: Scarf her mother knit for her. It is one of the things she was able to take with her

Amy: I'm making it canon she has mob psycho figurines and her fave is DIMPLE

Damian: Guitar

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

Felicia: Started purely happy and full of joy and now she is Suffering

Maxwell: He was literally a rodent once

Charlie: Going from a canon character in another series to being my oc

Sam: Went from engaging in mechanics to illustration and string related art

Amy: Went from also engaging in mechanics to just being a menace and a fiend who can't do math

Damian: Also starting as a character from another thing and then becoming my oc

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Felicia: Getting fevers triggers her mebtol eelness

Maxwell: Actually deep down still cares about his brother even though they are literally like sasuke and itachi

Charlie: Enjoys making fancy drinks so much because that's what his mother would do before she perished

Sam: She engages with a lot of media containing found family type situations in order to Cope

Amy: Does not remember what her father's voice sounds like

Damian: Pretty much is unable to actually cry anymore since he trained himself not to with punishment

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Felicia: She would wish for her mind to Stop Doing That

Maxwell: He would wish to get Charlie's parents back

Charlie: He would wish to reverse time by a few years and redo everything

Sam: She would wish for her mother to come back alive and safe

Amy: She would wish for her parents to love her

Damian: He would wish for immortality for himself and his loved ones

[danteinthedevildom]

yes! i hate it when people say belphie doesnt care for mc, this is a personal opinion but i feel like even if we werent related to lilith (and somehow we came to life again) he would be close to us, and try. seeing how the people he cares about the most react to someone he thought was just a human dying would probably push him to get to know MC. i know some people also think and argue that beel sees MC as a replacement for lilith too; but i know 100% he doesnt, he hasnt been able to verbally talk about his sisters passing to anyone, i mean almost right after she died belphie was taken away and beel assumed he was in the human world on "buisness", so for beel to openly talk about lilith with us as much as he does it feels special. i know he sees mc as their own person because of how much hes able to share with us, beel talking with mc about his feelings means hes able to finally move on, not to say that he'll forget about her, but he knows hes ready to finally stop beating himself up for it yk? i feel like people were also conflicted about seeing belphie as someone who cares for mc, especially the 180 he does when he finds out we're liliths relative; but belphie has had so much trauma, seeing the person he loved the most die, being separated from his brothers for years and years, etc. he was locked away with his mental illness for a long time, the anger bottled up and he took it out on mc, of course it explains it but it doesnt excuse it, you can still continue to hate belphie idc but i feel like he loves mc more than the other brothers do because of it, its the same thing with beel, mc allowed both of them to cope and talk to them about their sisters passing, yk?

Honestly the whole of Chapter 16 and associated fallout is p. controversial simply bc of it being us that it happens to; the game's written for us to imprint on the MC, and because of that, some scenes - like Belphie's betrayal and his glee at having killed MC - becomes very, very personal. It's very easy after that to become biased against a character, because there's genuine emotional scarring that we're left with as players that the game then just... fails to acknowledge to its fullest. (Which is why we get so many "MC might have forgiven Belphie but I haven't" fics on AO3.)

But to say that Belphie doesn't care for MC is just. Wrong. And I can def. get your annoyance on that!

He didn't care for MC to begin with, yes; MC was a random human he knew nothing about, a ticket to freedom and the first step into enacting revenge for something he's carried with him for millenia. They didn't matter to him outside of that because he never got to see them - or spend actual time with them - outside of the short visits they could afford to update him on their pact progress. That's undeniable.

But to say that he still doesn't ignores the entire point of the Lilith revelation. Being related to her gives Belphie something to connect with MC over. It gives him a reason to overcome his hatred of humanity and to bond with MC in general - which is selfish, yes, and kind of shitty, true, but so much of Belphie's (admittedly misplaced) anger comes from being a survivor of an incredibly one-sided war and (arguably, in his mind) the reason Lilith died to begin with. Because Beel saved him instead of her.

It's not like any of them were ever given a good way to cope with the trauma of the Fall, or Lilith's death. It's not like any of them even knew her actual fate until Chapter 16. Belphie's way of coping was to become apathetic, and to try and place the blame onto something he could take action against.

To him, that meant humanity. Because she fell in love with a human. Because they'd already fought God and lost, so he wasn't going to get closure there - but maybe ending the cause for her death would help the hurt.

He hated humans because of Lilith. In the realm of good story-telling, the best way to end that hatred is likewise through Lilith. Stories are best when they have that cyclical nature to them - especially since it can then transition into Belphie overcoming his trauma (and Lilith's death) through humanity.

So, yeah; it's a selfish reason to get close to someone, to take back the really horrific thing you were going to do, but all of Belphie's anger stemmed from the Fall and what he perceived as her death. Finding out that she didn't actually die? That she became human - became the very thing he wanted to destroy - and lived out a long life? That she had children, and that her family line is still alive in MC? Of course that's going to stop him dead in his tracks. And of course he's going to want to get close to MC, the last remaining fragment of the sister he's dedicated his entire life post-Fall mourning.

Belphie's an incredibly apathetic character by nature. He doesn't care about a lot of things, and everything he cares about is overshadowed by how much he loves Lilith. He needs that connection to get him out of his natural apathy. He cares about Lilith above all else; he'll care about MC at the drop of a dime if they're anything to do with her.

But that's not a bad thing. It means there's an opportunity for him to genuinely get to know who MC is, in a positive light.

It's an opportunity for him to try and make a connection with MC that simply wouldn't have existed otherwise, and through them, to finally, finally put his memory of Lilith to rest. And he does! He gets to know MC, gets to know why Beel adores them so much - outside of just being "Lilith's descendant" - and ends up loving them for who they are.

He puts his hatred of humanity and his single-minded attachment to Lilith behind him, and he still cares for MC. He wouldn't do this if he'd really not formed some sort of bond with them before that point. If he only cared for them because they're a fragment of Lilith, then they'd mean nothing to him once Lilith wasn't such a fervent part of his daily life.

I think the game's just... really bad at showing that, however. You put it really well when you called it a 180, because in all honesty? The game glosses over it much too quickly, and doesn't do a totally good job explaining the logic behind why he'd change his mind so fast.

There's not enough time spent on allowing MC - and the player - to overcome the emotional wreckage of Chapter 16 + fallout. We're not given the chance to process it before Belphie has, to build up a natural relationship with him that transitions slowly from him seeing MC as a Lilith-connection to him seeing them as their own, defined person. It's way too easy to still be emotionally hung up on it while he seems perfectly fine and dandy.

On your bit abt him overcoming it even without the connection to Lilith - I agree tbh! There is a lot Belphie would do for Beel, and I genuinely think seeing how against him Beel is after killing MC, even if they're brought back to life, would ruin him. Belphie being locked up, trying to convince Beel that he was doing the right thing, only for Beel to disagree with him and show genuine anger/disgust, would knock the world from under his feet. If he thought trying to hurt MC would make him lose Beel too - if Beel pleaded with him to just play nice, because he can't choose between them both, not again - he'd likely (albeit begrudgingly) postpone his intended revenge plot.

And he'd try to stay bitter, and for a long time he likely would - but then he'd see how happy Beel is with MC around, and how much it means to Beel that they seem to get along, and how much Beel opens up to them about Lilith, and he'd start to... reconsider. Just a little. Just a bit. Moment by moment, day by day, until he realises that MC isn't a replacement for Lilith, but that they bring something to the table that the brothers have been missing for a long, long time.

Which would afford Belphie the moment of catharsis; where he finally, on a quiet night, opens up about the Fall. How he felt, how angry he is, how helpless. How much he misses her, how the pain and hurt consumes his every thought. And then the player would get the chance to overcome the emotional strain with Belphie, showing him that his anger shouldn't be aimed at humanity when his Father is the one at fault, and Belphie, very quietly, admitting that they're right.

It could work, and work well. It's just a point of finding - and hitting - the right story beats.

On the topic of Beel - honestly, the concept that he sees MC as a replacement for Lilith is just... I personally couldn't imagine it. I can see how someone else could - being her descendant, the attic sandwich club, their little escapade together once Belphie's back in with the family - but that includes seriously misreading/ignoring a lot of Beel's character arc/development.

Beel talks to MC about Lilith and Belphie way before he knows anything about their relation to her. He sees a lot of her in them, yes - he mentions this a few times, I think, in relation to little things they do - but he also sees a lot of what he wants to be in them - which is best seen in their ability to defend both himself and Luke, which be very subtly compares to his own inability to save both Lilith and Belphie.

To Beel, MC stands as something a little idealised. MC is everything good he saw in Lilith (as well as some of the things he loves most about Belphie), and everything he wishes he could have been. MC is a reason to be better, stronger, more capable - both so he can protect them the way they protect others, and so he can feel as if he's on their level.

But that doesn't mean he sees them as a replacement to the people he's lost. It's arguable that he's projecting, sure, I'll admit that; he sees things he misses most of the people he's lost in MC, and I'm sure forming a bond with them helped him cope while he was without Belphie. But MC is still always MC to him. They're always still their own person, and someone he cares for because of that fact.

Beel cares too much about his family to replace them with someone else. Lilith meant too much to him as a person for him to look at MC and actually see Lilith. He misses her, not the idea of her. He feels guilt that he couldn't save her. His trauma revolves almost entirely around the failure of (self imposed) duty and the subsequent loss of life. His Survivor's Guilt is the main reason Beel can't put her memory to rest - because he's constantly haunted by the thought that he could have saved her.

His trauma, the way it is, does not create a setting where he would believably see MC as a replacement for Lilith. He's all too aware that she's gone. He's all too aware that he lost something he can never get back that day. Her memory is special to him, and being unable to talk about her hurts him because that's a bit like killing her off for good.

MC can't replace Lilith, even being Lilith's descendant, and I genuinely can't believe that Beel would even want them to. He's so defensive over Belphie and Lilith, even just over the memory of them; to suggest that MC could replace one of them I feel would anger him more than anything. Not only because it's an insult to Lilith, but because it's an insult to the person MC is. To the person Beel admires.

With just how much he cares about Lilith, I think Beel's enhanced attachment to MC is more the steadfast defence of her lineage to make up for what he couldn't do for her. He still sees MC as their own person, it's just that now... now he has a chance to make up for what he failed at before. And bit by bit, he can learn to forgive himself. Can learn to stop blaming himself for something that was never his fault to begin with.

Belphie and Beel have a special relationship with MC because MC is a direct link to Lilith that helps them overcome their individual Lilith-related traumas. They're naturally going to be closer to MC due to this, yeah, but that's... not the only reason they're close to MC. To try and push down everything they feel and do with MC to "it's only because MC is Lilith's descendant" is to. Well. A) make an incredibly unsatisfying story and character development, but also B) completely ignore that MC helps them bury the memory Lilith. MC helps them move on. Their care and love for MC is what helps them finally let go - to stop living in the past, in hurt, and to finally take a step forward to a future without the weight of Lilith's death constantly burdening them.

Like. If Solmare had just spend a little more time on these two, that might be clearer. Because it's definitely there! And it's why I love Belphie and Beel so, so much. But it's also fully understandable why some players still really dislike Belphie, or why they're not convinced that Belphie/Beel see MC as anything outside of Lilith, bc the game does kind of fail on that a little by rushing a bit too much. Just. Aagh!! You know?

I could honestly go on abt them for hours. So I should prolly stop here before I go on too long adfgh.

[awed-frog]

about what you said about Cas and not being "different" when he returned from the Empty: I'm really not happy about how they handled his depression and how we're supposed to think he has miraculously overcome it now after his resurrection when it's been building for several seasons. I feel like SPN handles depression like a narrative tool because now Dean's depression is on the forefront and that just because it needs to make sense that he'll say yes to a (possible) possession later?

I know, right? I mean, I think fiction has a problem with mental illness in general, because fiction is all about organizing things so they make sense and have some kind of structure or development, and mental illness is basically the opposite of all of that. This means that mental illness is often used like any other narrative tool - it explains why a character can’t do something or why they act in a certain way, it’s an obstacle to be overcome, it reveals a deeper meaning about your characters and so on - and since none of that is what mental illness is actually about, you have to be really skilled to bamboozle your readers into suspending their disbelief. And, I mean, as a writer I’m guilty of that as well, and I’m not sure I can pull it off in any meanginful or profound way (no, scratch that: I know I can’t, because it’s blood hard), so I’m not preaching anything here, but as a fandom we are perfectly aware of the fact that Supernatural’s representation of what mental health issues are actually like has been a bit of a hit and miss and it’s completely fair to discuss that, isn’t it? 

I think with Cas, the idea was that his death and resurrection should have been cathartic - for Dean because it would force him to acknowledge just what Cas means to him, and for Cas because it’d be a very literal way to make him fight for his life. And so far, so good. The problem is that this perfectly valid plan didn’t work out all that well, on the one hand because of the #NoHomo bs they’re still clinging to and on the other because none of Cas’ issues were actually resolved. For years now, Cas has been on a journey to basically erase everything he is? He’s an alien trying to fit in and be happy around a species he doesn’t fully understand, and he’s had to accept that most of his life amounted to nothing (because God’s orders were unjust, and because God was not even giving those orders most of the time), that he can’t be sure of any of his memories, which is very detrimental to his sense of self (think of all the times he’s been ‘rebooted’), that many of his talents and skills are linked and dependent upon the very place he’s trying to escape from (we haven’t heard this a lot lately, but I think it’s canon that the farther or further away you are from Heaven, the weaker you become?), that he’s done things he’ll never be able to fix, that he’ll likely always have trouble to understand his friends and care for them in the way they need him to, and that his only moral compass and way to move forward are the very things he was taught for millennia to suppress and don’t listen to: his free will and his version of whatever human feelings actually are. That is the core reason why Cas is depressed - everything else, from failing Dean to being possessed by Lucifer, is a by-product of the fundamental conflict this character’s been carrying for eight years. And the thing is, Cas has never especially cared about his own life, but for a long time he hasn’t exactly been suicidal either. His lack of concern for his own safety stems from what he is - or used to be - a soldier, a tool bred and trained and designed to fulfill a specific use. That’s why he keeps putting himself in danger, and I think that it’s only in S8 that Cas starts to realize how his choices are affecting the people around him (and specifically Dean). Because choosing to remain in Purgatory - that was both a selfless and a selfish choice, and Cas never understood until much later what that had done to Dean. And from then on, things start to change. The next time Cas is sure he’s about to die - or leave, anyway (at the end of S8), he makes sure to keep Dean in the loop, and there’s softness, empathy and regret in how he says goodbye to Dean that’s very new. And from that moment, he starts to be a bit more careful with his own life - for instance, by taking precautions to survive the car crash he caused to harm that other angel. His fight with the Rit Zien in S9 was emblematic of that - deprived of the possibility to atone for his ‘sins’ in Purgatory and tricked into half destroying Heaven, Cas wanted to die so badly that the Rit Zien could hear his despair and pain ‘for miles’. And yet, when the time comes, Cas fights back - because Dean is there, because no matter how confusing and inconsistent and mysterious Dean is being, he still needs Cas and would still be hurt if Cas died, and ouch. One could argue that, Grace or no Grace, this is truly Cas at his most human.

“They stay alive for each other,” as Clarissa puts it in soulbreaking masterpiece The Hours. And after that, Cas’ depression also becomes more familiar and more human. For most of S10, for instance, it’s no longer some cosmic dilemma about his place in the universe - it’s about Dean, and keeping Dean safe. It’s not showering and not getting dressed and pining and fretting and feeling like the world around you will collapse if this one person should suddenly be taken from it, and who hasn’t experienced that?

And now - what’s good is that Cas keeps fighting death, despite the fact he’s still not quite sure that his own life actually has any value. At this point in his journey, he’s learned to separate the ‘I’m useful’ from the ‘I am loved’ parts of the equation, and that’s no small feat and something a lot of people struggle with on a daily basis. Over the last two seasons, we’ve seen him fail again and again, and we’ve seen him risk his life for Dean (stabbing Billie, that was desperate and borderline idiotic), but despite everything his enemies have thrown at him - namely, that he’s just a tool and a bad one at that - we’ve also seen him fight to come back to Dean. That’s an achievement, but it doesn’t make depression disappear? The next step Cas needs to get to is ‘It doesn’t matter if people love me, I am important because I am me and also I love myself’ - that’s the result we want to get to, but, to be fair to the show, it’s also a place very few characters have reached, so it’s not that Cas is taking forever - it’s that one of the main themes in Supernatural is precisely this, the struggle to accept yourself and your flaws and how to stop sublimating your self-hatred through a quest for martyrdom. In this sense, Supernatural is a spot-on modern take of the Arthurian legends, isn’t it, because that’s the kind of hero we normally think about when we think of heroes - the difference being, of course, that the victory and absolution the Arthurian knights are after is the love and mercy of God, and that’s how they reach perfection (in the sense of becoming whole and untainted), whereas in the modern world, we don’t have the luxury to wait for death and Paradise to finally be okay with ourselves. Both IRL and on the show, God is a distant and random creature, Paradise probably not all that’s cracked up to be, and therefore this is why we fight, and this is our task, every day - not to be washed of our sins, but to find enough courage in our hearts to accept ourselves as flawed beings and accept we have a right to be here, no matter what. 

So, you know - I don’t think they meant to write Cas’ journey towards mental stability as being resolved and over (hell, look at that ‘screw-up’ comment from S13E21, that speaks volumes) - this is simply what happens on this show, how they’ll seemingly forget about something for weeks on end only to come back to it and do something vaguely spectacular with it. Which means that no, Cas is not okay, and they’re just waiting for the right moment to hurt us with it (again).

[you-can-face-this]

anon friend- hi! thank you for pinning the post- i appreciate it <3 Omg, i can imagine that must have been SO anxiety-inducing, but I am so glad that all your friends (and cafe guy) helped you pull it off. cafe guy literally sounds like the sweetest soul EVER. I think you are right there, I think that this is solid proof that they would be even more understanding if they knew the situation in more of it's entirety. I totally get that you're still processing it, something like that is scary to pull off but I'm real proud of you. I hope your finals and the move went smoothly. And omg, I am SO happy that you haven't had a panic attack or mental breakdown in weeks and that you have healthy outlets for if you do. Darling, that's actually amazing, I hope you are just as proud of yourself as I am of you <3 Maybe even if your friends knew, they might be able to help more with finding financial help that would mean you wouldn't be reliant on them? I obviously don't know what the available financial support is where you are- i know you tried getting help from people at the school, but perhaps this is more reason to tell your friends what's truly going on? and angel, there's no need to thank me- you've done this all on your own! you are the one who has had to be strong and face things and persevere. never give up, there's always good ahead of you. this isn't forever, you will get out of this situation. i know you don't 100% believe you will, but you also didn't think things would get this good, and they have. You're the strongest, and i'm sending you so much love back <3

hi anon friend <3 ahh i have so many updates!

- i've had my few weeks of decent mental health & fun times and then the burn out caught up to me and i've been physically sick & in bed for the past few days rip :( it forced me to stay at home and really rest for the first time in a while tho and i think that's been super refreshing mentally because i felt so much better when i got back to work today!

- unfortunately, when i get sick somehow it's my fault & i'm a lazy b*tch who ruins everything & my p*rents get mad at me :)) so i've been getting the whole anxiety package (endless texts & calls yelling) lately lol and it pissed me off so much that i ended up finally telling 2 of my closest friends here what's going on! obv not my entire childhood (gotta process with a therapist first lmaoo) but what went on during my gap year & how i'm planning on going no contact asap. you were right – they were both very understanding & concerned & have been trying to send me little pieces of helpful info whenever they come across some!

- my school health center therapist said it'll be even harder to get appointments once the fall semester starts so i'm looking for a separate ~real life~ therapist now (i finally got my insurance started so the sessions are actually affordable!). this means i'll get more consistent & frequent help so hopefully i'll be more mentally stable soon lol

- my research professor is in the process of turning my position into an official on-campus job so that i can get qualified to be paid hourly! it's going to be such a relief getting some kind of money on a regular basis 😭& possibly even being able to save up a decent amount of it for my escape plan! i'm also considering telling him a little about my situation (just the part pertaining to when i'll be graduating, since he'll probably ask about that soon for the job) & seeing if he has any other info as a faculty member

- cafe guy really is the sweetest 🥺i've never met someone who i get along with so easily – so much so that i actually thought he was lying/a player/a serial killer the first few weeks adskf;asdf he's very sensitive and aware of mental illnesses + his own issues so he always says something reassuring & validating before i can start spiraling lol this is clearly not the ideal time for a relationship but we have even that fact in common so we've agreed to take things slowly & see how it goes

thanks always for your kind words!! <3 <3 <3 i feel like the day i get out of this mess will come sooner than i've expected – partly because i'm looking into so many new things and partly because i cannot stand it anymore akdfj;asdf i've also opened up a lot more about this to my sister to make sure we're on the same page (she's my little sister so i've been feeling like i needed to singlehandedly figure out how to get us both out) & it's great to have another person in on this with me!

[girlthativealwaysbeen]

did you know that my dad uses a lighter to light agarbatti like it's a mosquito thing and