#ilieus

[linnheidi]

unnecessarily gutted

[quailxcrossing]

oc posting :3 a background i did the other day of my characters Georgiana (they/them, riding the horse), Ilieu (she/her, the little thing snuggled into their chest) and Foliose (she/her, the horse).

these 3 are minor characters in my story TUESDAY, but major characters in my heart. i wanted to try a different, more cell-colored style of background here, and I quite like the result!

the location is inspired by the southwest desert highlands in this fantasy western story. Malachite Pass is dense mountain terrain, and while this image is set in the early winter, let's pretend the blue flax flowers bloom here year-round, yes?

[messagesfromsudan]

Lotuko (Otuho) village. Eastern Equatoria , South Sudan   Man captured is a Chief from Ilieu village.

[emptymanuscript]

A “MOUSEY” Mouse... character... ok, this is a crummy title... ignore the title

I love the MICE Quotient. It’s very simple (at first) and because of that applicable with alarming frequency. It’s an acronym.

Milieu – the setting, environs, canvas, and just stuff.

Idea – the defining principle, what if, theme, and just what it’s about.

Character – the person, personae, personality, and how they express themselves.

Event – the things that happen, the plot, the defining moments, and the impetus for things.

The important thing to always remember is that is a Quotient, a ratio of these elements to each other. You always need all of them. But how much effort and quality goes into each is variable for effect. Think of it being that you have 100% of “story stuff magic” to use and you sort that in variable amounts into the four categories in order for it to shine the best.

So, if your story is most profoundly about some character X coming of age and the changes in their personality that comes from their experience, you’re going to put almost all your emphasis into Character. You’re going to put more than 25% of your “story stuff magic” into it because it’s what you’re really selling and what people who buy that will expect to get the most of and so will appreciate more than effort put into the other categories.

The inevitable downside: the other three categories get less than 25%. But, if you’re really selling character and then really want to delve into the events that change them, do you actually want a lot of effort put into Milieu? It’s not what you’re selling. It’s not what the audience will pick you up for. If that’s what they really want, they’ll go get a Milieu primary story. And if you put too much oomph in it, it might actually interfere with the enjoyment you want to give if the Milieu energy occurs where people just want to get back to the character.

And that’s the deep value of the MICE Quotient, it’s a statement and reminder of where your developmental energy should go because that’s what your audience is looking for.

Ok, I said at first. Can’t just say that.

Beyond that simple idea, the MICE Quotient can delve into deeper places. It can be mirrored in its own categories. Say you’re writing a story that’s primarily about Character. What draws an audience to a character?

Milieu – the physical things that define a character: Thor’s Hammer or the wretched excess of money, cars, and drugs that a Wall Street mogul might use.

Idea – the defining archetype of a character, what they are: A hard-boiled detective, a fairy stuck in multiple worlds, or A hard-boiled fairy detective. 

Character – the defining expression of emotions to evoke personality: The snarky back-talker whose sarcasm reflects fear, or the Tsundere whose anger reflects vulnerability, the person who has seen it all and so tolerates no b.s.

Event – What the character does: The hero saves the cat, they put their lives on the line for others, alternately they may run away because heroism is stupid, they outclever the clever person who supposedly thought of everything.

Here, too, this is a quotient. You’ll have some of everything. Even someone so poor they have “nothing” will probably have a thing or two such as the insufficient strip of clothing. 0% won’t really work because it’s like feeding the wrong numbers into a computer, it will error out really high because everyone will pay attention to 0%.

But one probably is going to be higher than the rest. As I listen to my current audiobook, the MC definitely has enough of every bit but more than anything she is the snarky back-talker.

She joke-snarks with her friends to be playful and friendly. She joke-snarks with her enemies to try and keep them off balance. She joke-snarks when she is terrified for her life because she’s too scared to think clearly and her “natural” responses come out before she can stop them. It might not be what I would pick out to describe the character first – I would start with the fact that she’s a hard-boiled fairy detective – but the character’s ‘character’ is what draws me through most scenes. It defines her more than all her other features, which are more changeable from part to part.

If I didn’t like that… well, it might be a problem. But again, this is encouraging self sorting. You can’t please everybody. You can’t. But having your quotient in front of you to remind you what you are doing, means that the people you do please will continue to be pleased.

[uas-art]

Audio Fiction List

This here is a list of all audio fiction /pod fics/fanfiction readings/ whatever you want to call them I have done. I can't promise I'll keep it up to date all the time, so your best bet is to follow this playlist

I have received permission from all of the authors of the works before hand and highly encourage you to go leave some love on their own uploads.

I record using a blue snoball microphone and edit in audacity. All the music and sound effects are credited in the descriptions of the video posts.

: ♣️ : Less than 10 minutes

: ♠️ :  Between 10 - 20 minutes

: ♦️ :  More than 20 minutes

These are in order of newest to oldest for their respective fandoms, so be warn the farther down you go, the lesser the quality. ^^;

South Park:

: ♣️ : 'Craig? Gay, Dumb, and Useless' by Craigtherewhoisahomosexaul

Ships: Creek

Summary: the new cafe has cute batista, and Craig is very gay

: ♣️ : 'Just like Superman and Wonder Woman and/or Batman' by mousapelli

Ships: Creek

Summary: Craig has a low opinion of both underwear gnomes and playing superhero, but Tweek doesn't mind it if they can be a team

: ♣️ : 'Earrings' by Hiba

Ships: Clyde X Craig x Bebe

Summary: Bebe pierces Craig's ears while Clyde watches

: ♠️ : 'So, This Means We're Friends, right?' by PaisleyWraith

Ships: K2

Summary: Kyle has been Mysterion's informant for a year. Picking him bloodied off the ground isn't exactly a new thing, but it's the first time he's let the law student patch him up.

Other: When I first received permission for this fic, it was a one shot. However the author has since continued it. You can check out the playlist of completed

chapters here

: ♦️ : 'Babysitting Stripe' by Emmlire

Ships: Creek

Summary: Tweek is babysitting Stripe for a day when Craig has to go out of town. One day with one guinea pig, how hard could that be? Just ask Tweek.

: ♣️ : 'Guidance’ by ayemccormick

Ships: Kenny x Clyde

Summary:Kenny McCormick’s job is to guide souls to the afterlife. He’s always been good at it, until he meets Clyde Donovan

Don't Starve

: ♣️ : Untitled by Kip

Ships: Woodie x Lucy

Summary: A fairy tale origin for Woodie and Lucy

Other: the author of this fic is a friend of mine who wanted to remain anonymous

: ♣️ : ‘Improper’ by Dragon-Cookies

Ships: Wilson x Willow

Summary: Willow and Wilson traveling through the woods, and the hilarity that ensue

: ♣️ : 'Tea' by Heckmate

Ships: None

Summary: Webber comes to Maxwell for help when they aren't feeling well one day.

Pokemon

: ♣️ : 'At the End of Every Rainbow' by DuelStrike

Ships: RedxBlue, GoldxSilver

Summary: Rainbow Rocket was brought together partly for villainous reasons but mostly as a show of support for Gold and Silver's relationship. Silver's not taking it well.

: ♣️ : 'Home Again Home Again'  by milieu

Ships: implied Lillie x Moon

Summary: Ilima gets an unexpected challenger

Undertale:

: ♣️ : 'Boring' by ReaderRose

Ships: none

Summary: Flowey followed every rule. Flowey broke every rule. And then when that was done, he tried each and every combination, then a second time, then a third. Maybe one of them was the trick to make him feel something real again.

: ♣️ : 'of course' by Coloured_Rainbow

Ships: Sansgore

Summary: Asgore's havin' a rough day.

: ♠️ : 'Crash' by GetDunkedOn

Ships: Soriel

Summary: Just because this time is better than the last, it doesn't mean it's a good thing. Sans is in the middle of a depressive episode when Toriel pops in.

: ♠️ : 'The Basement' by UAs_Fics

Ships: none

Summary: Flowey ventures down into the basement against his father's wishes

Other: This was my very first fic reading! :3 of my own fic, in fact!

Miraculous Ladybug

: ♣️ : ‘The Two Types of Gravity’ by samiam-night

Ships: MariChat

Summary:  Let it be known Adrien Agreste loves science.

[nuvem-de-agosto]

6° mês

Tentar sempre me manter feliz/não me botar p baixo

SIM AAA sou mt maravilhosaa

ter mais paciência e menos orgulho

sempre fui assim aaa - rt

pegar o crush

dar p ele foder muito com ele beijar ate a boca ficar dormente

a gente se beijou DE VERDADE dia 9 (no dia da quadrilha), foi de manhã, mas passamo a noite inteira se pegando SIM e os amiguinhos do ilieu zzzzzzzzz vieram falar merda

a gente ficou de novo dia 14 (um mês hoje aaa) no dia da mostra 

ter um namoradinho (se possivel o crush)

nao sei mais akkask sla acho que a gente talvez não fique juntos e tudo bem, ele pode nao ser o amor da minha vida e se ele nao quiser ficar é pq ele definitivamente nao é o amor da minha vida e eu nao vou mais correr atras vou aceitar

still single still PUTA (que)

SER FELIZ AAA

yep

STAY STRONG

sim 

fazer/ manter meus amiguinhos

sim (?)

passar de ano

acho que ate que vai, mas pqp enem 

me sentir bem com meu corpo/emagrecer

49 aa

ser uma pessoa melhor

sim aaaa

ser eu mesma aa

sou aa

valorizar o que nois tem

tb 

[eda11y]

Rose by AlainChappuis

[azveille]

Santé : "Nous payons les mauvais choix d'il y a 10, 15 ou 20 ans", affirme Macron sur RTL

Dans une interview exclusive, le chef de l'État est revenu sur la crise du m ilieu de la santé. Il affirme que le modèle actuel a périclité, et qu'il faut, à la fois, construire un nouveau système sur le long terme et répondre dans l'immédiat à l'urgence du terrain.

À l'occasion d'un grand entretien pour RTL, le président Em m anuel Macron revient sur la crise qui touche en ce m om ent le m ilieu de la santé. Urgences saturées, manque de médecins dans certaines parties du territoire ... Pour répondre à cette situation délicate, le gouvernement met actuellement en place un nouveau plan d'action, mais les effets de ce dernier devraient se ressentir seulem ent d'ici quelques années.

"Le problème qu'on a, je vais être très sincère avec vous, c'est qu'on fait une stratégie qui est très intelligente, qui va m ettre 5 à 10 ans à se déployer. .. On manque de médecins, par exemple, j'ai rouvert le numerus clausus : il faut 10 ans pour former un médecin !", a déclaré le chef de l'État.

Selon Emmanuel Macron, la crise actuelle s'explique principalement par les décisions prises par ses prédécesseurs. "Nous payons aujourd'hui les non -réform es ou les m auvais choix qui ont été faits il y a 10, 15 ou 20 ans. Et on se retrouve aujourd'hui avec quelque chose qui n'était pas prévisible, dans une situation où on n’a pas assez de médecins, et donc de la désertification dans nos campagnes et des gens qui nous disent : 'je trouve plus de médecins pour me soigner', où il y a 6 ou 8 mois d'attente, et ils ont raison !", affirme-t-il.

"Et de l'autre côté des urgences qui sont saturées, poursuit le Président, et cette crise elle arrive aujourd'hui, elle saute aujourd'hui ! Or je ne peux pas form er des m édecins en 6 m ois... Ce qu'on est en train de finaliser, c'est aussi m aintenant une réponse d'urgence, où soyons clairs, il va falloir qu'on remette des moyens, parce qu'il faut qu'on réponde à la souffrance des personnels de santé". 

La fin d'un modèle qui "tirait sur la corde" depuis 10 ans

"Évidemment, l'une des choses qui me bouleverse le plus, c'est quand je vois nos infirmièr(e)s, nos aides-soignant(e)s, nos médecins qui sont en souffrance au travail alors qu'ils sont d'un dévouement incroyable, qu'ils ne comptent pas leurs heures leur énergie et qui sont mis dans des situations impossibles. Pour m oi ce cas il est em blém atique de la difficulté que l'on vit, on a fait un très gros travail pour penser l’hôpital et la santé de demain, et patatras, on arrive au bout d'un m odèle qui tirait sur la corde depuis 10 ou 15 ans, et ça claque maintenant", explique Emmanuel Macron.

"Il ne faut pas être injustes avec ceux qui ont construit le modèle futur qu'on a présenté, il faut continuer ce trav ail et il faut l'accélérer et en même temps avoir une réponse d'urgence qui permette de traiter les souffrances immédiates".

"Et je crois que c'est ça un peu que notre pays vit, que j'avais peut-être sous-estimé. On ne peut pas dire à une infirmière qui n'est pas assez payée, qui est en souffrance au travail, qui n'a pas assez de moyens : 'vous savez on va construire quelque chose de formidable, vous verrez dans 10 ans ça sera super'. Non, il faut qu'on lui explique ça et où on va. Et je crois vraiment que ça sera beaucoup mieux dans 5 ans même, mais il faut aussi qu'aujourd'hui on puisse lui permettre de mieux travailler", conclu le Président.

[quailxcrossing]

AU POSTING AU POSTING

there's a LOT i want to share. so. UNDER THE CUT!!!!

just waffle fries AU right now bc i am just. enraptured by it

the TuesFries Human AU or TFHAU (i need a better name) is a simple human AU set in modern day, its got all the stops pulled back. no magic, no supernatural stuff, all unnatural hair colors are dyed- humans are not inherently boring to me! i enjoy seeing my wacky characters interacting in not world-ending ways.

Ruse's set-up is about the same; no world hopping for anyone, but she still lives under Cradle's landlordship, just this time with Esperanza alive and well and as her roommate! instantly this means all the Tuesday characters and Waffle Fries characters can meet in this AU

this isn't ALL of it, but some highlights!

i love getting to see Magic and Ruse being girlfriends........its healthy for me. Ruse's body hair is healthy for me too

and of course ESPERANZA...... she's so gorgeous its so unfair

and um. freaking misc moment. guess who these guys are (Maiceo, Georgiana, Ilieu somewhere in there, then jump to Twilight, Gwen, Taliah, Lemmie, Varnish, Kitty Coreladi, and Meloco! ignore Meloco she doesn't want to be here)

im currently doodling Gwen's fursuit augh i just want her to go to a convention with Twilight (she's all decked out in pony gear ofc) I might even pull out Ruse's winter solider cosplay from Midveil if im feeling reeeeeal emotional

and a bonus Magic MLP doodle i did last night bc she's so cute and pure and perfect

thinkingg..............i might want to post some AU content on here. bc my posts are just seen by my awesome friends n moots and most of them can't see my AU work...but they have no idea the beloved antics i put in my AUs.................i want yall to see the waffle fries human au SO bad

[mysteryshelf]

SF & FANTASY WEEK - The Four Worlds

Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF SF and Fantasy Week!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Silver Dagger Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Interview with the Author

What is something unique/quirky about you?

I’m a left-handed pescaterian and I love cooking and mixing drinks.

  Tell us something really interesting that’s happened to you!

When I was 15 I went on my first trip out of the country. I spent ten days in Panama City, Panama. I got to see historic sights like the Panama Canal, but the experience that stuck with me was visiting one of the native indian tribes. It took an hour long bus ride and from there a 45 minute canoe trip to the hill they lived on. The tribe welcomed the group with a traditional indian dance, they painted us with unique symbols and fed us. I’ve never had food so fresh and delicious in my life. The tribe didn’t wear clothes and in some cases the children ran around butt-naked, it took some getting used to, but no one was ashamed or embarrassed about it. They lived in tree houses, not the kind of tree houses we think of with walls and a roof, but basically a platform in a tree. Since they didn’t have lights, when it got dark outside we went to sleep and slept under the stars. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had and it made me feel close to the environment and nature.

  What are some of your pet peeves?

I don’t have too many, but one of them is when people make sweeping assumptions without doing research. I like to be open minded and understand there are differing perspectives and situations. Seeing things from different points of views helps me to become a better writer.

  What are your top 10 favorite books/authors?

I’m an avid book lover and read about 50 book a year, if not more. Some of my top favorites are:

  The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen

The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip

A Threat of Shadows by JA Andrews

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

When Tomorrow Calls Series by JT Lawrence

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

The Legend of Eli Monpress by Rachel Aaron

The Redwall Series by Brian Jacques

Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

  These are all books that inspire my writing. As you can tell, I read a wide variety of genres.

  What inspired you to write this book?

I love telling stories. The Four World Series is was inspired by my love of storytelling and also inspired by the games I played in my childhood. I grew up with 4 sisters, we are all quite close and enjoyed using our wild imaginations. I’ve noticed in reviews, reviewers often talk about my imagination and it honestly came from my childhood.

  I started writing The Five Warriors because I had a dream about a warrior, standing on the edge of a battlefield. He’d been through a lot and he stared out with relief. When I dreamed about him, I knew I had to write his story. His name is Marklus. The Five Warriors opens with him in prison.

  What can we expect from you in the future?

Currently, I’m working on the final novel in the Four Worlds Series. From there I have a couple of additional series that happen within the Four Worlds and about 20 standalones. All in all I have about 50 novels and novella in my queue and will be releasing them over the next 25-50 years, depending on how long it takes me to write them out. While the main genre I write is fantasy, I’ll dive into sci-fi, romance, thrillers, and other genres along the way.

  Do you have any “side stories” about the characters?

I do! I adore side stories and digging into some of the side characters to learn more about them, their histories and their motives. My first stand-alone with a side character is Myran. Myran tells the story about Eliesmore’s mother and why she behaves the way she does. It’s a dark fantasy novella, and I will release more like it in the upcoming years.

  What did you enjoy most about writing this book?

I love seeing the characters come to life, it’s the best part of writing. They are good and bad, light and dark, they argue, have insane motives, stand up for each other and enjoy a good fight. They don’t always make the right choice, they make mistakes, but once you get to know them, you love them, despite how crazy and annoying they get. There will be characters you root for, and others you’ll want to choke out and remove from the book altogether. It’s a wild ride with these characters.

Tell us about your main characters- what makes them tick?

When did you first consider yourself a writer?

This might sound a bit odd but I’ve always considered myself a writer. I did not consider myself an author until my first book was published in 2015. Now, when I meet people and they ask me what I do, I tell them, I’m an author. It feels good.

  About the Books

The Five Warriors

The Four Worlds Series Book 1

by Angela J. Ford

Genre: Epic Dark Fantasy

“The characters were well-written and well-developed, the story was clear and enjoyable without being predictable, and there were a couple of evenings I stayed up later than I intended just so I could get to the end of a chapter. If you’re a fantasy fan, you’re going to LOVE this!” —Amazon review

What if…

your best friend started a rebellion in the middle of a war?

your lover awakened a deep evil and helped it grow?

your people were too cowardly to face a battle?

you stole an ancient power source?

you gambled with the fate of the world?

Join five powerful warriors each with a unique ability and magical weapons. Their quest is to discover where the transformed creatures are coming from and put a stop to it.

Along the way they run into treacherous immortals, sea monsters,

powerful beasts of the air and talking animals.

Each has their own reasoning for joining the quest, but one carries a deadly secret which just might be the destruction of them all.

“Angela’s imagination has brought these characters to life and the

worlds they live in.”

—Amazon review

Add to Goodreads

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Kobo

The Blended Ones

The Four Worlds Series Book 2

Over 100 years after The Five Warriors saved the Western World, the Blended Ones have become a curse in the Eastern World. Beware the Blended Ones…

Phyllis and her 17 year old twin sister, Ilieus are Blended Ones. But Ilieus suffers from visions of darkness she is unable to discern. Forsaken by their parents the two cross the country in search of the Order of the Wise for help.

Cuthan the Charmer is mischievous enough to change anyone’s mind with a smile and a wink. Born into a family of treasure hunters, he s searching for the key to unlocking his dormant powers.

Pharengon the Horse Lord was born to be King. Young and inexperienced he

seeks a weapon to turn the tide of the war in his favor. But when his very own army betrays him, he will have to turn to the Lost Ones for assistance.

Caught in the fate of the Eastern World the youths destinies become twisted together in a frightful quest that will change the course of time. In the midst of their whirlwind adventure, they discover love, loss, and uncover the truth about who and what is behind the chaotic, spiraling events in the Eastern World.

This can be read as a stand alone novel

Add to Goodreads

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Google * Kobo

Eliesmore and the Green Stone

The Four Worlds Series Book 3

Changers have arisen, wreaking havoc as they harvest the world, searching

for the Green Stone. The South World sinks in despair, holding its breath, waiting for the One.

Eliesmore is a Blended One, growing up on the edge of the forest of the creatures of the wood. Young, headstrong, and inspired by magical rituals, he spends his time between his overprotective mother and sneaking out to dance with the wild things.

His courage is tested when Eliesmore discovers that he is the One who is meant to save the Four Worlds from the Changers. Unwilling to accept his fate, he turns his back on the prophecy and the futile quest to dissolve the Green Stone.

But Eliesmore will soon learn he cannot escape his destiny. Beset by creatures of the deep and hunted by servants of the Changers, Eliesmore finds his task will test the loyalty of his companions and help him answer the ultimate question:

Can he trust the immortals – or are they the reason the Changers

have come to power?

Add to Goodreads

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Google * Kobo

Myran

A Tale of the Four Worlds

Darkness has fallen in the South World, a land ruled by forces of evil and dark powers. Those who would resist live in hiding, hoping for the prophecy concerning the One to come true.

Born into a shadowed world Myran experiences her first loss when her parents are murdered before her eyes.

Adopted by the Green People she makes it her goal to hide from the woes of the world. As she grows older, she discovers her actions will birth the most significant change in all of the Four Worlds.

Recommended: Read this after reading “Eliesmore and the Green Stone”

Add to Goodreads

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Kobo

Brought up as a bookworm and musician, Angela J. Ford began writing The Four Worlds Series—a fantasy series—at the age of twelve. The storyline of those books was largely based off of the imaginative games she played with her sisters.

Angela originally finished the series when she was sixteen. After college, Angela began to rewrite The Four Worlds Series, bringing it from a child’s daydream to an adventure young and old can enjoy. Since it is inspired by fairy tales, high magic, and epic fantasy, Angela knows you’ll enjoy your adventures within the Four Worlds.

If you happen to be in Nashville, you’ll most likely find her at a local coffee shop, enjoying a white chocolate mocha and furiously working on her next book. Make sure you say hello!

Website * Facebook * Facebook Group * Twitter * Instagram

Google + * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

Follow the tour HERE for exclusive excerpts, guest posts and a giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

SF & FANTASY WEEK – The Four Worlds was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir

[beauty-from-pain123]

Author Interview with Angela J. Ford

Author Interview with Angela J. Ford

Hello, Everyone!

Today I am excited to share with you an interview I had with author Angela J. Ford!  Angela is the author of The Five Warriors as well as her newly released sequel, The Blended Ones.  Enjoy!

Synopsis

Phyllis and her 17 year old twin sister, Ilieus, are blended ones. But Ilieus suffers from visions of darkness she is unable to discern. Forsaken by their parents the two cross the…

[adayinthelifeofgus]

The Blended Ones - The Four Worlds Series Book 2 (Autographed Paperback)

The Blended Ones – The Four Worlds Series Book 2 (Autographed Paperback)

Phyllis and her 17 year old twin sister, Ilieus, are blended ones. But Ilieus suffers from visions of darkness she is unable to discern. Forsaken by their parents the two cross the country in search of the Order of the Wise for help.

Cuthan the Charmeris mischievous enough to change anyone’s mind with a smile and a wink. Born into a family of treasure hunters, he’s searching for the key to…

[linnheidi]

It's nearly 4 weeks since they cut me open for a ilieus surgery! My colon was strangling other parts of my colon and I was experiencing excruciating pain! I am feeling better but I am finding it hard to face my new scar. The last time I had surgery it was laprascopic but they needed to cut my whole belly up this time. I find it hard to get used to feeling it. It is this hard thick skin crossing my abdomen. It feels wrong to stretch. As if something will pop or burst out of my wound! I have put my hands on the scar. In order to prepare myself for the visual encounter. My hands are cringing as the hands are touching it. Like on fear factor when people have to put their hands inside a mystery box, fearing what their hands will feel. My scar is a part of me now. I just need some time to become friends with it! I find some much needed comfort in this quote by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.