#ilf

[cbs-scorpion-coffee-shop]

Israel Loser Forces (ILF)

How pathetic is it that all these forces from Israel/America/Europe with billions worth of money and weaponry are only targeting civilians in the south because in the north, Hamas and the resistance are handing their asses to them so badly that they're ashamed to publicly say it?

Let the free people of the world from now on only refer to them as:

"Israel Loser Forces" or "ILF" for short.

[darkplaceblankface]

If I had a nickel for every whump fic I read that had anti-male matriarchy themes and witch motifs, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice (in one day).

I’m not familiar with the other one. 👀 but now I NEED to read it 🤣

We love a witch 🧙‍♀️ motif in the ILF-verse! And snakes, and dolls…might have went a little heavy with the motifs 😗

[darkplaceblankface]

A sci-fi horror take on this:

"I don't want him like that," the witch lies. "Y-You overstep."

Colonel Wiseman snickers. "It's fine if you do. It isn't a bad thing. He doesn't look broken. Barring the faction, most find enjoyment with their positions. Let me tell you about mine. My only one. I once swore I'd never get one either."

"I don't want to hear it," Indie huffs.

"Just let me tell you!" Zara urges. "He used to teach Physics. That's pretty handy at times. I actually moved from Second to First Class after he taught me how to apply resonance to create better seismic force. He's a pain, though. Drives me crazy. He looks good, and he does make some great meals..."

"Your point?"

"I knew him as well," Colonel Wiseman confesses. "He was my TA, and I was a student, once upon a time. At first, I was afraid we'd never be anything to each other and I couldn't keep my eye off of him. Who could? He's gorgeous. I thought I'd never see him again, but then all of this happened."

She has no clue where the Colonel is going with this but lets the woman continue to babble on. Zara is known to be prone to senseless chatter. That translates well to detailed tactical strategy, not so much intimacy advice.

"It felt selfish, and yet so right to keep him," the Colonel adds. "You'd think he'd be grateful."

"Is this going somewhere?" the witch rolls her eyes.

"Yes," Wiseman laughs. "He fought like hell. Bit, punched, kicked and screamed the entire time when he was getting processed and getting his band. It was, in a sense, exciting. I knew that I had a chance to capture something so perfect, that the others might not even get. So, I snatched him up. No one else was going to take him."

Indie pinches her brow. "Oh."

"It just takes some faith," Wiseman says happily. "Some work, and some patience. He called me all kinds of things, and I didn't even threaten him. Used to sneer and call me horrible insults, and he'd throw books, vases, you name it."

"What did you do?" the witch asks curiously, but apprehensively.

Wiseman beams. "That's the best part. Not anything really. I treated him with respect. Of course, I wasn't going to wait forever. So I called Nikita."

They really have to whisper now.

"Advisor Nikita," the witch stares. "Like, the reason we have 'time on our side' Nikita? "

"Yes, her," Wiseman gestures enthusiastically. "If anyone could help me get this handsome devil to realize that life with me wasn't bad, it was her. Her domain and the perception. While maintaining his health. It's humane and a kindness."

The witch tilts her head in memory. "What are you getting to?"

"I didn't threaten him," Wiseman repeats. "Instead, I let him sit in his room. And we turned the dial of one night to being 25 years. With the door locked. And the furniture gone and the room padded, which Nikita recommended. And the lights out, because it was nighttime of course. Oh! And mitts on, so he wouldn't scratch out his eyes. Another Nikita suggestion."

"Wiseman," Indie's eyes widen, a warning to not finish that story.

"Don't knock it till you try it," Wiseman offers. "And now I have a boyfriend. When I got my 8 hours, and the sun rose and the roosters crowed, and I guess just when I finally felt like it...I opened the door. He was still pretty, and healthy, but he'd essentially processed two and half decades of what it was like to sit alone in the dark for that long. All alone. I'm sure he had a long time to think about what he'd done."

The witch facepalms. "This is not going to help me, Wiseman."

Wiseman laughs in response. "I was the first thing he saw. The first person, the first touch, warmth, all at once. That alone is a bit intoxicating, isn't it? Still, I expected him to snap. But he didn't. He was the one who suddenly wanted affection. Who wanted to touch me, kiss me, who wanted to be so close."

The witch sucks in a breath. "And you thought that was ok?"

"Sure was, General," Wiseman grins. "And it was beautiful. The way he sobbed, and apologized for all of those horrid names. Such a gentle soul, after all, sweet with it. Much like your boy."

Indie cringes, putting a hand up. She doesn't want to hear anymore of this.

"Gratitude and proper behavior are traits you rarely find in the wild," the Colonel supplies. "It's a skill to tame one. It's privilege to own one. It's an achievement to have a good one by your side."

The witch is actually shocked at the Colonel's brutal candor. And is quite disturbed, for a moment. Wiseman has some balls on her, today.

"He's so eager and he jumps at the opportunity for any attention, or to offer to do things," the Colonel crows. "Makes a day a lot more enjoyable. Makes you feel loved, makes you feel wanted. That's all I'm saying. Just be clear with the boundaries."

"This isn't the same at all," the witch mutters.

"You have to have the strength," the Colonel confirms. "To help them. He knows now. I would never do it again, but he always hiccups and begs whenever I seem upset. He's so silly, thinking that, but the way he cries and begs my forgiveness...I never knew love could feel this sweet."

The witch scoffs. "Well, that's...nice. Why are you even telling me this, then?"

Wiseman shrugs. "I work hard and come home and he's there waiting for me. He's always relieved to know that the day was just a day, and when I open the door, he gets to be mine. What's that saying again?"

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," the witch echoes the idiom with disbelief.

"They trust you and need you," the Colonel finishes. "And that connection, it makes it all worth it. Now we share kisses, like normal lovers, go out, eat together, the works. Sometimes we play Scrabble!"

tw: isolation, dehumanization, captivity, panic attack mention, self harm (not in vivid detail)

isolation punishment in whump.

say whumpee tried to escape, and almost succeeded. Or hurt whumper, or killed someone working for whumper. something whumper would consider serious.

whumpee who gets trapped in basically a functional apartment- self restocking food and a working bathroom but no tv, or books, or board games, or anything made to entertain or keep them busy. there are no windows, and the lights turn on and off by themselves, and the door is heavy, dark, and grey- not to mention, locked. the only reason why their prison resembles a home is so that they would take care of themselves and wouldn’t be allowed to see the people who are giving them food or taking their dishes.

whumpee who starts hurting themselves just for something to do.

they get kept in there for sometime above a month, and when whumper finally comes in to check on them, they are so, so desperate for any kind of human touch.

whumpee who gets down on their knees in front of whumper, begging and pleading for forgiveness while sobbing violently. whumpee who’s just begging for whumper to not leave them alone. they’ll be good, they’ll be exactly whatever whumper wants them to be, just please don’t leave them. maybe whumper sees how desperate whumpee is to not be left alone, and decides based on that to leave them in there for a little while longer.

Or a whumper who likes to portray themselves as kind, holding whumpee in their lap while they cry and talking about how much they missed whumpee and how they hate doing things like this, but if whumpee would just be good, they wouldn’t have to.

whumper who found their breaking point, and every time they’re disobeying from then on, whumper just asks them if they want to go go back in their room, and whumper is instantly going completely silent. whumper smiles and ruffles their hair, saying something demeaning like ‘good pet’.

whumpee who never really gets over it. after recovery, they can’t be left alone at all so that they don’t have debilitating panic attacks. caretaker at a loss, because they love whumpee, but they have other obligations in their life and whumpee can’t come with them to all of them.

maybe caretaker doesn’t notice at first and whumpee doesn’t say anything, so whumpee stays home for a couple days just pulling at their hair or scratching at their skin to stay calm. whumpee who’s confused and so lost, because they don’t know why they’re being punished.

[heavenpierceher]

just saw someone say “rilf” ie robot i’d like to fuck. bold innovations happening in the -ilf acronym community

[chimchiri]

Anon made me curious how I'd draw the three princesses. Luna got a makeover actually. Cadence might get one in the future again. I had a really hard time figuring out anything that works for her.

[lakecountylibrary]

Just dusting off this post from earlier this year. There is still nothing new to be alarmed about right at this moment (November 2024) as far as legislation goes. But if you live in Indiana (or are interested in this type of thing for other reasons) you might want to hop on this mailing list!

Stay Informed: Library Legislation

Haaaave you heard about Indiana Freadom to Read? Probably not! It's a brand new tool from the Indiana Library Federation to help Hoosiers stay in the know about Indiana legislation concerning libraries.

And before you ask, no, there's nothing (new) to be alarmed about right now (right now being April 2024). Which makes it a good time to get on their mailing list - so you'll know ASAP if something does come up.

Emails should be infrequent (we hope we hope we hope). You can also follow them on their socials if that's more your thing.

People ask us all the time what they can do to support libraries. This is an easy step to take that'll help you stay informed!

[cryptid-gore-arts]

jing yuan doodles. i also sketched him shirtless but you tumblr folks are freaks and i dont trust you so you'd have to pay me money for me to post it /j

commissions!

[lonelyslutavatar]

So Celia is a MILF now?

Not me but Sam maybe

[ndostairlyrium]

my friends started to call her "mom" so I felt like I had to give them something legit to work with in therapy, just like a good friend should do ✨

[after-witch]

I won't accept living with yandere Chrollo unless he buys me a milk frother so I can froth every dairy or non-dairy substitute drink I consume for the rest of my life

iced coffee without frothed sugar free creamer on top? nope.

hot chocolate without frothing that bad boy up so it's creamy as heck? nahhh.

almond chocolate milk without adding a dash of whipped cream and frothing it so it has the consistency of a thin milkshake or to be very specific a Yoohoo? not fucking happening, buddy.

Chrollo, when I whip the frother out of my purse at a restaurant dinner date I got for good behavior: Oh, the angels weep--

[anthyies]

caroline

[seaofreverie]

A (very random) observation

[gumi-megpoidd]

Please reblog this art from my art blog instead, @magical-art-blog

WOOO GIVE IT UP FOR VIOLETTE!!!!

(Please reblog!!)

[yamasakiko---ji]

on my way home

[definitely-not-an-alb]

anyway fun fandom website, started a reread of Inkheart on a whim and this is my first read-through as an adult and damn, Mo and Staubfingers truly are capital-D Dilfs

[ask-runaan-anything]

Did you ever lose a contest with someone besides Ethari?

I lose social contests all the time. I do not have the small talk arcanum.