#ikitai by shimon strikes again!

[b0mblover]

scars dont last forever. (thankfully) nor do people.

By: J

vauge tw; i wrote this bc i over think fucking everything. ikitai by shimon has saved me once again /srs

again. keep in mind i dont reread most of this stuff.

this would be better suited on my main but since its writing.

Ah, fuck.

im getting really tired of the game i play with myself

constant abuse

its nothing new

smoking and drinking myself to near-death

its nothing new, almost like second nature.

those hateful words that he spewed,

those mean jabs that she said,

acting as if i dont take them to heart.

XXX is this

XXX is that

its all a bunch of nonsense in the end.

you tell me to stop drinking, stop smoking

i consider it thrice

giving it chances

i feel like i never change.

you calm me down

saying how i deserve to live

its something i could almost believe.

Her piling up lies

his non-existent self respect,

it all comes crumbling down in the end.

XXX is this 

XXX is that

without noticing im.

when they beat me down

you gave me life.

when they cut me up 

you cleaned the wounds.

purposeful or not.

i cant help but wonder.

‘that jealous- self serving- selfish zealot’

‘the one they always wanted.’

wouldnt you know all about it?

after all. 

they miss you.

they hate me. 

XXX is this

XXX is that

I dont need reassurance from the dead

acting like XXX is-

you dont know -

i watched you question over and over again.

“Who are you” 

repeated more everytime.

XXX isnt this

XXX doesnt know you

that name.

isnt yours to hold onto.

I cant help but wonder, do you care?