#ikiruwill

[gehirne]

@ikiruwill​

It’s red. The floor and the ceiling. The window is continuous and glowing; a darkroom without the iodide. There is a single desk in the wide expanse of nothing and a shadow sits there, its glasses gleaming like the taillights of a car, only it does not veer away even if Shinji, bony and forever folded in on himself, may wish for nothing more. The air tastes disinfected. Like a hospital.

Toji Suzuhara, 14. I’ll be the Fourth if you promise to take care of my sister. His sister is an only child, now.

"I expected better from you," the shadow continues.

What's that sound? A perpetual hum, so low it might not be there at all. An air unit, maybe, or the buzzing in your ears. There is nothing between them save for the red and silence, the years they can’t make up for. He never unfolds his hands. "If you have something to say, say it now."

[crowconquer-a]

@ikiruwill​    : ──  Good tidings we bring 🎁! ( you’re awesome for doing this 💕 !! )  ──  ( send ‘Good Tidings We Bring!  🎁’ to my inbox and I’ll give you a treat!! )

𝚜 𝚑 𝚒 𝚗 𝚓 𝚒    𝚜 𝚌 𝚛 𝚎   𝚖 𝚒 𝚗 𝚐 . 𝚖 𝚙 𝟹            happy holidays, dude !! uwu ♡ ☃️ ❄️ gosh, thank you for writing with me, && having my back for so long. you bring such life && depth to shinji. i love how we can go from philosophizing to meme-ing to screaming about this series 😎😎 thanks for giving my angel boy && volleyball boy so much love 🥺💕 !!!! i hope you’ll enjoy these gifts !! h u g s !! ☃️ 🎁 ♡ ☃️ 🎁 ♡  *:･ﾟ✧*

[ahiiru]

@ikiruwill

     “ is that a walkman ? ” a pale yellow cloud emerges from the shadow sam’s guitar case casts on shinji as he peers at the SDAT player in the latter boy’s lap. amazing. he doesn’t think he’s ever seen another person under the age of sixty listening to one in public. 

     “ no way~ i have one, too ! i don’t think it’s the same model, though — a mega-something, maybe ? it used to be my old man’s back in, like, the 80s. he was gonna throw it out for an ipod, so i bummed it off of him. oh – ” sam catches himself rambling, grinning sheepishly. “ it’s cool, is what i meant to say. ”

[yagaymi]

@ikiruwill​

░░░░░░ ☾ coming to japan seems to have burned the manners out of her. that’s the only explanation for it, really; she never would have felt this way if she was wrapped in the heart of her home. “you should know you have to walk a good five feet behind me.” she turns her nose up at shinji. “after that stunt you pulled yesterday, you should be grateful i’m even letting you walk near me at all.” she flicks her fingers at him. “go on.”

( if only she’d think of it like this: she’s filled to the brim with shame and rage, and merely looking at him is going to spill it all out of her. but in the end it’s only one shard of the truth. ) 

[2ndgirl]

"... You’re the one who lied." ( hello!! )

[Hey there! :D]

“Did you just mutter something under your breath, arsch mit ohren? Why don’t you put your Big Boy pants on and come say that to my face?”

He wouldn’t dare trespass onto her side of the apartment while she was changing, though it had less to do with gallantry and more with Shinji straight up being a coward. He wouldn’t know how to treat a beauty like her even if she threw herself at him.

Either way, Asuka was certain that he wouldn’t have the balls to repeat himself.

[finaldevotion]

@ikiruwill​ asked “nightmare :   my  muse  coming  to  your  muses  aid  when  they  awake  from  a  nightmare.” ( x )

       Kaworu could hear it. 

       The faint sound of suffering that flourished in the hollow night air. He listened perhaps longer than he should. And yet, he couldn’t stop himself. He heard it often among his final days and yet, something stirred in him each time. Was it pity? Fascination? The echoes of a sensation he that himself had long forgotten? He didn’t know but before he could rise and tend to the torments of his guest, he felt his mattress bend. 

       Heat. Kaworu could feel his heat immediately. His ear grew humid with Shinji’s breath as he settled meekly on the awkward stretch of bedding between its lip and the ashen-haired boy. There was no move to overtake the expanse of mattress that Kaworu had to himself, Shinji merely stayed perched on his side. He didn’t know Kaworu was awake. 

       So Kaworu stayed still a moment longer lingering on the thought that despite the boy’s reserve, he would press to his side for refuge from his mind’s terrors. To be gifted with this honour brought a smile to his lips. Perhaps that was inappropriate but it went without notice in the dark. 

       Naturally, he gave in to his second nature. He turned towards Shinji, his hand easing the brown head of hair to his chest while his other snaked under him to settle between his shoulder blades. He absently stroked this stretch as his eyes fell back shut. There was a familiar ease that he had grown accustomed in these sacred moments as Shinji’s anchor. 

[wishfell]

⭐ reverse? from any muse you want :D

TOUCH MY MUSE’S HAIR.     ╱     @ikiruwill. STATUS: NOT ACCEPTING!

    "Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW! I totally don't mean to scare you or make you pee your pants, but like? You've got gum stuck in your hair!"

     When, how, and why were beyond him. Now that he and his big mouth practically announced the situation to the entire world, it was far too late for him to walk away without helping the poor guy out. He makes a face of distaste, frown pulling on his lips. Shakily (more out of nerves than anything), he reaches forward to provide some semblance of help, but just as quickly pulls away with an undignified shriek of horror once the tips of his fingers make contact with his hair. He hasn't even touched the gum yet.

     "Nope, nope, nopity-nope! I reeeefuse to touch that thing! Look, kid-- we're running out of time here and that stuff is slo~wly eating up your hair. I say? We give you a makeover and cut that stuff out. Like, now. Pronto. Right away."

[sorrowmarked-a]

norman fucking rockwell! || accepting 

i shouldn’t have done it. -- @ikiruwill

a pattern of mistakes and successes, that’s how she lived her life. and when it came to trying to play mother for shinji she didn’t know if she had gotten a single thing right. mistake after mistake after mistake. about the only thing she felt she did with any success was keep a stable roof over his head. the moments he needed her to comfort him always felt the hardest. she wasn’t sure what he needed or wanted to hear. how was it she saw so much of herself in him and yet she never managed to say the right thing?

“sometimes all we have in life are bad choices,” she said, her voice soft. “and nothing you’ll do will feel right. a lot is being put on your shoulders, and i’m sorry for that. you’re doing your best though, and i’m proud of you for that.” 

[warcured]

                “ ----- who are you ?  ”   Gaze trained on the other,  tilting her head a bit to the side.   The unfamiliar face brought her attention,  and she couldn’t help but wonder how they even got here.    // @ikiruwill​

[ichoreyed]

❤ me? (im sorry mhasfldk adds to your giant pile of these)

MY FRIENNNNNNNNNNND my other WTC friend.... my NGE friend.........my ‘scream into the void’ friend.....................I love u and I’ve been desperately missing you on the dash but it makes me happy to see you on Twitter and Discord (I’m sorry I’m so bad at continuing convos, I cherish u). I really love the dynamic both Ed and Lelouch have with Shinji; they’re so different but so fun. And I really love writing in the Ciconia verse with you!! It’s been a really fun creative endeavor and I appreciate how willing you are to go with the flow with Ed in that verse despite his...canon shifts? If you will? haha.

It’s no secret how much you love Shinji; you have him everywhere. And I think that’s AWESOME. You’re super passionate about him and it shows everywhere. He deserves that kinda love. Shinji Ikari you are vastly underrated. I am happy to call you my friend!!!!! I hope the world is treating you well. We miss ya!

[triggerhen]

• • • continuing from @ikiruwill​.

kamina nodded a few times, more to himself than to shinji.  ❝ man, your gunmen’s huge. ❞ he whislted as he grabbed his sharp, red sunglasses. he moved them to rest at an angle on his forehead, then he turned towards the other.

❝ whatcha name the big thing ?? looks pretty strong. ❞ kamina’s voice was loud & it echoed around the hanger.

[crowconquer-a]

○ ──   @ikiruwill​

         ❝ SHINJI !! MOVE-- !!!!! ❞ with the barked warning, kageyama shoves unit-01 aside. his EVA ( unit-03 ) steps into the line of fire. the angel's laser blasts through unit-03's right eye.

        kageyama screams.

        the raw sound floods the comms line, even resonating in NERV's control room. vocal chords strain as kageyama arches from the pilot seat. excruciating pain burns neurons. his hand claws at the right side of his face. if not for the plugsuit's glove, kageyama's nails might've scratched red lines. whether it’s from hardcore training or sheer willpower, kageyama forces his mind to reanchor itself.

         ❝ fuck---- . . . i'm-- i'm okay- ❞ kageyama gasps out. gritting his teeth, the pilot tries to catch his breath. static glitches through the screens. but kageyama sees the angel wavering. ❝ it's tiring itself out. we need to strike before it does that regenerating bullshit again. if i clear a path, can you take the shot ?? ❞

[ahiiru]

♡ continued from @ikiruwill

     kaworu’s hair paints the concrete white -- fanned out like a brush around his head, a halo. angelic though he may be, he pales ( figuratively, literally ) in comparison to shinji ikari-kun. 

          they’ve spent a while like this; perhaps hours, perhaps minutes. time is a lilin concept, and kaworu has infinities. he’s much more invested in the boy lying beside him than in the stars, because shinji, himself, contains multitudes. he is proxima centauri: small, distant, dwindling. he is sirius: bright, blinding. he is polaris: guiding, anchoring, home. kaworu would not exist without him, he doesn’t think. he need not exist without him.

     “ what a fascinating place your mind is, ” he says, body turning onto its side and with it, his gaze. shinji has a beautiful profile. kaworu wants to commit it to memory. he already has. “ the stars are always changing. though they do not move, they die, and they are born. like humans, they are not eternal. ”

          shinji is drawn to the stars in the same way kaworu is drawn to the sea. it is easy to get lost in the vastness of these bodies of nature. as such, it is also easy to get lost in the vastness of one’s mortal form. shinji seeks an escape from his own mind. he hates himself, and yet, his self is the only thing that tethers him to this world. 

     “ tell me about them, ” he says. “ the stars -- what meaning do they hold for you ? ”

[loreliei]

( 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 ) 𝐏𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐘.     /     @ikiruwill​

🍫 !!

    She doesn’t think much of it at first. Her eyes glaze over the open box of pocky briefly, strawberry-flavored, and with a shrug of her shoulders, plucks one right out of the box, into her mouth. Caught in between her teeth, she snaps the snack into two, humming appreciatively. It’s sweet, savory on her tongue, and she makes quick work on eating both halves before shamelessly going for another.

    “Ahh, I was just craving for something sweet. What’s the special occasion?” Puzzled, it only takes seconds before she comes to a dreadfully, wrong conclusion. “...Is this a confession?”

[obligeas]

Starter for @ikiruwill

“You’re allowed to get mad.” It’s said almost idly, eyes just daring to brush over Shinji. He’s always so quiet, so reserved, so unloving of the power that’s been bestowed upon him with the EVA. Lelouch has seen the glances traveling between Ikari and his son and has gleaned some sort of understanding of the dynamic between the two, but... well, that was about it.

Those with no respect for the power in their hands / do they deserve to have it? It’s a question Lelouch ponders day in and day out as he watches the EVA’s pilots go about their daily missions.

Though he is a master at operating from the shadows, responsible for the tactics Ikari and Fuyutsuki generally dish out---------------Lelouch longs for the spotlight. There could be so much change he alone could bring. This world is not his, however, so he sticks to the shadows.

Shinji’s burden is great. Lelouch knows that much. He continues calmly, “Being pleasant and noncommittal doesn’t get you anywhere.”

[finaldevotion]

@ikiruwill replied to your photo: OOC these came in the mail today. im so excited to...

AAAA omg have fun!! I love the lighting in photo btw wow 1000/10

i will! im so excited! i can’t stop peaking and skimming sdlgkdf also thank you so much!!!