#ikaro jasper

[roseseatea]

Sixfanarts but its rain code ocs~ Ty for the requests!!

From top left, going clockwise:

Luna Luckytune - Mine

Ikaro Jasper - @cr4zedf0x

Darling Lunamune - @rindragon-from-twewy

Haru Allegro - @wist-eri

Kuro Starling - @kawaiiwaifu-theartist

Sullivan Crevanox - @sasarasmeloncreamsoda

[cr4zedf0x]

So..... I created a Rain Code OC

Name: Ikaro Jasper 

Age: 24

Gender: Male 

Height: 1.80

Orientation: Bi

Occupation: Master Detective 

Forensic Forte: Future Vision 

.About: He is very sociable and friendly with people.

When he was younger, his parents died in an accident, so he was raised by his older sister, he also has a younger brother, who is also his best friend.

Ikaro is usually in charge of investigation cases.

.Forensic Forte: He uses his vision of the future to predict people's actions and also possible dangers, whether to protect himself or to avoid tragedies and accidents.

Your vision of the future can predict up to a maximum of 1 hour.

He wears his sunglasses to help him focus on his predictions.

[rueur]

Morning Pages #5 (09.01.2017)

Monday 9th Jan - 7:20 a.m.

I managed to sleep for 8 hours tonight, to even out the two or so hours that I got last night. I haven’t eaten a proper meal since Friday lunch, and that was the only meal I ate on Friday too. I can’t do this, I’m diminishing.

Ikaros went out and got high last night, I think with Melike. It’s making me anxious right now, not so much last night, because he said he’d call me in the morning. Because I had tried to call him last night and he said it wasn’t a good time, maybe not because he might actually want to talk to me. I feel really light-headed, I don’t know if I can finish these morning pages today. I think if I actually do finish them, it’ll be quite a feat. Enough of a feat for today. But I have rehearsals today, for First Impressions. I need to be there at 1, which means I need to be fully awake and functioning at 11 or so. I don’t know if I can do this. I’m going crazy right now.

After meeting and talking with Lauren yesterday (for around 5 hours), I decided that I don’t think I’m giving up on Ikaros yet. I know that this renewal of hope might just bring me more misery down the line, as the renewal of hope in late November has just brought me more misery now in early January. But I can’t give up on him. There are too many good things here. My mum told me that a psychic told her that there was someone better for me: that Ikaros wasn’t the one. And I know he’s not perfect for me, but what if I don’t want perfect? I want passionate. If he’s willing to be that, then I’ll take that. Am I settling here? Is there really anything to settle for, honestly? He might’ve kissed Melike last night, done things with Melike whilst they were high together. He might want to see how things go with her. Goodness, I hate this. I hate my insecurities. I hate the fact that I think so little of myself and inflict pain upon myself like this, instead of just letting myself be loved and letting me love uninhibitedly. The reason why talking with Lauren made me more hopeful about Ikaros was because everything that Lauren was saying about her partner, Jacob, seemed to correlate to how I feel and what I love about Ikaros. They’re both like puppies - high energy and high spirits. They’re both freckly and free and they even out the more depressive sides of Lauren and I. Ikaros and I are honestly rather complementary, as Lauren and Jacob are. Lauren said that Jacob is just her best friend to her, quite honestly: ‘a best friend that I do everything with, including fun, sexy times’. I really hope he might want this. I’m going to say all this on the phone to him today. I know that it might be better to just go and meet him maybe, but I don’t want to freak him out about all this and he might not be in a great state because of what he was doing last night.

I actually really don’t want to write this right now. I just want to sleep, I don’t know. No, I don’t want to sleep. I just want to keep myself occupied somehow until he wakes up and we can talk. I can’t get comfortable right now, my chest feels weird. I’m trying to sit upright with the two pillows behind my back and now that I’m sitting upright, I feel somehow more light-headed, and my neck hurts. And my stomach is sticking out and I’m naked and I feel disgusting. I love being naked around Ikaros. I love just doing nothing with him, lying in bed naked. He always said that when we get a place together, we’ll just walk around like that. Totally free. We’d cook for each other, come home to each other and dance and have sex and just be in love in our own little world and the effects of the outside world will be easier to navigate because we won’t have to immense gaps apart that we have now. I am looking towards a dream so bright, a future so promising, that it kind of hurts to live in the present. The present right now, to be fair, is not that great. For either of us. This is a tough time for both of us.

I think he might have gotten high because I told him I’d gone out clubbing. But I don’t know though. I shouldn’t have told him that. We had a brief Facebook conversation around noon yesterday, because he changed the emoji back to a thumbs-up and the chat colour back to generic blue. Isaac just went offline. I don’t know, I just noted that he was online when I went online, and he just went offline. Not that I was checking on Isaac, I’m waiting for Ikaros.

I don’t know what my friends and family are going to say if I get back together with him again. It might not be right away, so maybe they’ll be fine with it when the time actually comes. Am I doing the right thing here? Look, okay, it’s just a phone conversation. It can’t be as bad as Friday’s conversation, so I’m hopeful. We’ll talk with more clear heads, less frustration, more retrospective and reflective.

I’m halfway through these stupid morning pages, and I just honestly do not want to do this. I mean, I like having something to keep me occupied actually. And writing absent-mindedly is fuelling some creative urge that has no other drive aside from being an urge; no substance. My armpits smell awful, but I’m less sweaty upon waking up this morning than I’ve been lately. I hate this part of summer, the incessant heatwaves. We only get two or so days of cool, twenty degrees - a bearably bright day - before we jump right back to some tropical storm followed by a scorching, hot half-week.

I just want him to be awake right now! I want to talk to him. I am crazy, I am obsessive. This is ludicrous (great rapper). I remember what it was like in the prime of this relationship: he was at school so his unemployment didn’t matter, and I was at school and happy. He would pick me up from school and we’d have lunch in the parks in the city and just talk and have fun. We’d go on adventures. He’d make me feel safe and loved and wanted and I miss that and yesterday, he said he missed that too. There was a time when we were good for each other. I don’t think we’ve changed too much as people to get back there. I honestly think our real demons have been outside forces. We still love each other, we still care for each other. We just need to address things that have been happening to us, as a couple and as individuals.

Bruno is on the bed beside me. I know I’ll have to get up and feed the cats in a little bit, like right after I finish writing these pages. I’m nearing the end of the second page now. Perhaps I can get away with writing a little less today? I don’t want to give up on this morning pages thing before I’ve even started but this is just not a good day at all. And I also have so much to do over the rest of the day that I just don’t want to think about because just doing that is stressing me out. I can’t stand this inactivity, this uncertainty! Isaac is online again.

Why do I do this to myself? I had committed myself to forgetting about him and moving on but now I’m just hopeful again and it’s more than likely that that hope is one-sided. This is all because I spoke to him at noon. Do you know what he said at noon? He said that we needed to do things for ourselves right now. That he misses me and loves me and enjoys my company. I want to be with him. I want to make this work.

Maybe we could be in an open relationship like Lauren and Jacob - develop the kind of trust that allows them to open a joint bank account and move to Melbourne alone together, and sleep with other people. Just so that I can be with him. I would do that, just so we can keep what we have going. I will see if he did anything with Melike last night. He sent me a message on Facebook around half past midnight letting me know he got home alright. He likes the fact that I’m here to care about him, I know he does. He might’ve complained about it on Friday, but I know that he feels my love. It’s just hard for him to reciprocate.

I broke a flowerpot at Emily’s yesterday. Well, I didn’t break it actively. It fell off the window sill after a very vicious gust of wind knocked the flyscreen forward, which knocked the blinds forward. It was the largest pot: a black, spherical thing holding an echeveria plant. I was in the shower when it fell, and I’d heard the sound of what I thought was breaking glass and I what I also thought at the time was somebody putting their rubbish in the bin rather harshly or something. It just sounded very close by, but considering that my window is right outside where all the bins are lined up, and that my window is always open, I thought that might’ve been what it was. When I went into the kitchen, all I saw was the floor littered with dirt and broken bits of pot. Isaac’s offline again. I took a photo of the broken pot for Emily and let her know exactly what happened and how sorry I was. She said it was fine, thankfully, and that it wasn’t my fault at all. The pot was far too large for that thin window sill anyway. This is a very small apartment with very small dimensions. It’s getting increasingly easy for me to feel a lack of adequate space. I can’t imagine how Emily lived here on her own for a year. I’ve been living here on my own for three weeks now and it’s starting to get to me. I guess it might help if I were surrounded by my own things rather than her things. And if it was my cat here with me, not her pets. I do miss Jasper though. I went home yesterday, only for around an hour honestly. I fell asleep on the train after coming from my meeting with Lauren and although I did wake up at Northcote station, I just kept going. I didn’t want to get off there. I was very groggy, and I knew that I’d have to get back to South Morang at some point to get a pot to replace the one that I broke. That was my reason for coming home. My sister asked me to stay for dinner but I was already on the train when she did ask. She’s worried about me.

[rueur]

Morning Pages #24 (01.02.2017)

Wednesday 1st Feb - 11:40 a.m.

I realise that I only have under a month of being a teenager left, and I don’t like it, I really don’t. I want to be nineteen forever! I do not want to be a twenty-something, I do not want that burden of being socially accepted as ‘lost’ or ‘figuring it out’, I just want to be youthful and have unexercised potential for the rest of my life and not feel guilty about having unexercised potential because I’m too damn youthful to really exercise it anyway and thus, will never be considered a failure for possessing an unexercised potential! Furthermore, I’ve just been through a break-up, like a real break-up resulting from a genuine relationship, a relationship that I thought would be lasting forever. And I’m only nineteen. I just don’t know if or when that will happen to me again, and the next time it does I’ll be much older, maybe twenty-two or twenty-three. And I don’t want to be single then. In fact, I don’t really want to be single now. I hate it, actually. Like one weekend out clubbing was fun. I kissed a guy I was really into, that was fun. But the chase has already tired me and I am the girl! I do zero chasing! I just have to sit in my home by the phone and grow tense and anxious, that’s MY job.

I just love being in a relationship. I love supporting another person, and growing them, having that mutual trust, that PARTNERSHIP. I love that and have absolutely no problem dedicating myself to somebody I know will dedicate themselves to me. It wasn’t right with Ikaros, that’s fine, and I feel like I’ve learnt how to judge a lot more quickly whether or not it’s right with somebody. I’m seeing Evan this weekend, I think. Hopefully, I don’t know. We haven’t spoken much since we last caught up, almost two weeks ago now. I’m afraid he won’t want to see me again, because of Ikaros’ web presence on my Facebook profile. But I mean, I’d answer any questions he has for me. I have no issue with being honest with Evan in regards to my past relationship. It’s fairly simple to explain if he gave me the chance to.

I saw Nick yesterday, but that was my own fault. I sent him a message that I’d be at Lentils yesterday in preparation for the off chance that I just turn up and he’s working there and feels like I’d forgotten about him or something. I’m too nice, that’s what it is. And I know I am, and I think he knows I am too. I didn’t kiss him yesterday though, which was a step up. I held his hand though, because he asked for it, and I wanted to make him feel okay. I did kiss somebody on the cheek yesterday though, a very handsome somebody too: the acoustic guitarist and singer for Rhiannon’s band, Sam. He’s gorgeous, I will just say that now. He was tan, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, with a robust and muscular build, basically looked like he was born to play music. He looked very much in his element. He was also very much the kind of guy I usually go for: driven and passionate, boyishly charming, yet surprisingly intense and sure of himself. I don’t know, this is starting to sound like bullshit. It doesn’t matter anyway. I feel like he flirted with me a little yesterday but he might’ve just been being polite because he told me to look him up on Facebook and I did, and he has a girlfriend as of the 31st of December, but he was in a photo with this girl in May of last year, so it seems like it’s pretty serious. Like Ikaros and I, they seemed to have just made it Facebook official rather later on in the relationship.

Anyway, they killed their set. I sat at a table with Nick and had some dinner whilst we watched them play, then Nick and I went for a walk. When we came back, the band had finished up and we sat with them as they had their dinner. After they were done, everybody got dessert: chocolate brownie. Lentils does a fantastic chocolate brownie. A lot of people were eating the curry of the day, but I had this Cajun tofu steak with polenta. Bless Lentil As Anything, honestly. Good food and kind souls. I showed Nick the Abbotsford Convent laundry rooms too, which he hadn’t seen before. I only knew about them because of Lucas, too, so I’m glad I get to share that find around with others now. Ikaros is calling me, so I need to take a break from typing for a bit. He called me while he was taking a bit of a break from work, letting me know that a bunch of new residents have arrived and they’ve immediately proceeded to have major accidents in their sleep, vomit all over the dining room, and basically stress him and all of his coworkers out to an immense degree.

Thathi came into my room during the phone call to ask me about typing up an email for him. He was talking about doing it last night, around 11 p.m., but we both agreed it was too late so I’ll have to do that right after I finish these pages, I guess. Evan followed me on Instagram, I just noticed. He might’ve done it out of courtesy, because I followed him back. Instagram has these notifications where they let you know if any of your Facebook friends are on Instagram one at a time, so over time you end up finding all these people. Instagram sends both of you the notification at the same time, and I received it two days ago. He only started following me 7 hours ago, when he woke up to go to work, but from what I’ve noticed, he doesn’t use social media that much anyway. He seems very busy in the real world, very present. Maybe that’s because he has to be, for his job, or it might just be the way he prefers things. Anyway, I hope he gets back to me today. I really want to talk to him. I really miss him. I was so excited about our first date, and now we’re going to be going on our second. And I’ll be in Northcote this weekend again too. I don’t know what that means, but I’m still excited about it. I don’t know. I think about Evan and it just makes me hopeful.

Ikaros has also been pretty keen lately for me to stay over at his, to spend the night with him. I was supposed to do it on Sunday, but I didn’t because I thought it would be weird for my parents that I was spending the night somewhere else after only just moving back home. Ikaros understood that. Even so, for the past couple of days, he’s kind of been pushing the idea of me staying over a bit. I went to see him briefly yesterday to get my sunglasses back, and I gave him a tub of parippu just because I know he hasn’t been eating as much as he needs to be since he started working out a lot harder. When I was on my way home from Lentils, he sent me a message saying that he ‘wasn’t going to lie’ but he was kind of hoping I’d come over and see him on my way home, even though it wouldn’t really be possible, because it’s entirely out of my way (because the 901 wouldn’t be running or if it were, it would be running infrequently, AND it would be super terrifying driving through Nillumbik Shire in the pitch black night on a public bus on my own). When he was on the phone with me again, he recognised that I went to bed really really late last night (3 a.m.) and I told him that I believe losing the routine of feeding the cats every day and having to be up early for them has just let me lose my sleep cycle. It has been really bad lately, I’ve been waking up at 10 or 11 a.m., and I’ve been eating around midnight. It’s very unhealthy and I’m trying very hard to stop. Ikaros proposed that I stay at his if I need a good night’s sleep, because historically I sleep really easily with him. We both just tend to nod off around 11 or 12 and wake up naturally to the morning sun at around 8, because his bed is right next to his window, which also happens to be north or north-east facing. I think I really need to go to the bathroom, right now. I really don’t want to take another break from typing though, because I know I’ll need to go downstairs immediately after this and help my dad. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get these pages done in one go today. I’m still making good time, however, considering I started at 11:40 a.m. and it’s now 12:27 p.m., so I’ve only really been typing for under an hour and I’ve already got two and a half pages out. I think I can power through.

Jasper and I were downstairs at one point last night, and he was sleeping on my sister’s blankets, which she kindly left in a heap on the couch before she jetted off to New Zealand. Oh yeah, she’s in New Zealand now, I forgot to mention, with Piumi and Jay. It was organised over last year, but the physical preparation happened very briskly. Their flight was at midnight yesterday. It is very odd to me that she’s crashing Piumi and Jay’s holiday, being their third wheel, rather than invite Anthony along and turn it into a double-date holiday kind of thing. To each their own though, and my sister’s always had this weird independence within their relationship. They do act in love occasionally, but most of the time the both act like they don’t need to be with each other at all. Ikaros and I were always the opposite (crazy passionate all the time) and thus, collectively never understood Sandy and Anthony.

Anyway, Jasper and I were downstairs and I was paying little attention to Mad Men, because Jasper was snuggling up next to me. At one point he stretched and started trying to knead my face. He was being very affectionate, and I felt very close to him in that moment, but also aware that he’d realised I had left. I didn’t know if he’d registered that I had gone when I was housesitting for Emily during the entire month of January, but the way he was acting with me last night made it clear that he had realised I’d left and also that he’d missed me. It was really touching, and made me realise I had missed him too. It was easy to ignore my own cat when I was dealing with both Bruno and Romy, and even though I do miss Bruno and Romy now (I mean they were my closest friends for a MONTH), I do not miss them at the same level I missed Jasper. Jasper is most definitely the sweetest cat I’ve ever had. Gentle and docile and understanding, he’s just so much more grown up than Romy (despite Romy being two years older), and so much more hardy than Bruno. Jasper is like the perfect cat. And I have missed him! And I know I will miss him again when I’m right back in Northcote this weekend.

[rueur]

Morning Pages #22 (30.01.2017)

Monday 30th Jan - 12:33 p.m.

Okay, so it’s not the morning, I know. I just missed the morning. And I also haven’t written for the past two days, I KNOW. Saturday was just too busy to do anything, honestly, it was one of the most busiest days I have ever had in my life. And Sunday was just a sleepy mess. I spent most of the morning being totally disoriented back in Mill Park, and the rest of the day trying to muscle up the energy to get to Ikaros’ house beforehand so I could see the apple baby (a baby apple tree) that he’s been taking care of so very lovingly (he calls himself an ‘apply daddy’ - like ‘apple-y’ not like ‘apply yourself’), and then take the train into the city together later that night for Gong De Lin!

Because there’s a lot to say about Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I will just go through it point by point and make sure I’ve mentioned everything before I go into more detail. First of all, our shows went very well. They were very well received, and we had a pretty decent crowd for all three shows. We also had a private fourth show (or ‘first show’) on Friday afternoon, at around 3. We had a full dress and tech run that some council workers decided to sit in on because they wouldn’t be able to make it to the actual shows. There were about three or four women, and one man in that audience, which was large enough for me to deem that Friday run a private show, rather than a rehearsal. I had nobody in the audience Friday night, but my entire family, and Malithi and Malith, came to see the show on Saturday afternoon, and Ikaros came to see it on Saturday night. Saturday afternoon was by far our best run, because Paul and Mahony gave us a fantastic warning regarding ‘second show syndrome’, but Saturday night was our worst run for that same reason: everybody lost sight of the fact that the Saturday night run was also susceptible to second show syndrome because, although it was our final show and our closing night, it was also our second show of that day. And everyone was insanely tired by 7 o’clock on that Saturday night. People tripped over their lines, forgot the order of scenes, lost their places and had essentially the lowest stage energy I’d seen them have. I almost coughed during my monologue, but I didn’t. There was, however, a very audible frog in my throat.

I biked home on Saturday night after saying goodbye to Ikaros at the station. He caught the 901 to Greensborough and then the train home. Jasper was also on the 901, because he lives out in South Morang, I think somewhere off of Gorge Road. He broke two guitar strings on Saturday, because he rocked so hard onstage. And Will broke the bin that he throws. He broke it during our FINAL show, it was fantastic. But yes, I biked home. The entire family (sans seeya thatha) was at Anthony’s house for some Eid dinner, so I was home alone. It was my first time back in my house that late at night and it would be my first time sleeping back in my own bed. I was exhausted though, so I didn’t go upstairs until 1 in the morning. I stayed downstairs from 9 till 1 watching Mad Men on Netflix, and playing Bejeweled. Jasper was sitting on the chair above me, my cat Jasper. Not the singer/songwriter who’s in my drama group, the guy who broke two guitar strings. Not that Jasper. Anyway, it was a lovely quiet Saturday night and I really felt I’d deserved it. The past month, living in Northcote, has been wonderful but it’s also been quite taxing, and being home after all of it has just been really refreshing. It’s been weird too, undeniably so. Sitting here on my bed right now, staring at my bookshelf, my own library, and the whole mess of clothes and bags that has been the result of my homecoming, is really odd. I have to get this sorted out, I know, in order for my room to start feeling more like home to me. This is my home, though. There’s nothing like returning home from a long vacation to make you feel like you know where you belong. I feel like I belong here, which is saying something because I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I belong here. Even when I was living at Rachael’s and I came back here on the weekends, I never felt like I belonged in this home in Mill Park. But my family’s here, and I guess I belong with them, so I made do. Now, I just feel at ease here.

I woke up at half past ten both yesterday and today. I slept for like nine or ten hours these past few nights, and have woken up totally out of it. My dad picked me up from South Morang station last night, at around a quarter past eleven. I fell asleep watching Mad Men downstairs, dragged myself upstairs at around 2 in the morning and just collapsed in the dress I’d worn to dinner. OH DINNER. Gong De Lin, with Ikaros. I’ll tell you about Sunday afternoon first, though. I decided to wear my brown dress with the red and yellow feathery pattern on it. That dress, I’ve always said, matches my skin tone to a tee, so much so that it feels like that dress has just been painted onto my body and I love it for that reason. It was nice finally wearing it out. I biked to the station, caught the 901 to Greensborough and then waited on Platform 1 for 14 minutes in the searing heat. There were line works going on on the Hurstbridge side (platform two) and I embarrassed myself twice with two different line workers, because I’d walked past them singing whilst listening to my iPod. I’m using these earphones that came with my phone right now, until I can properly replace the ones I broke with Ikaros last week, because the ones that came with my phone are crazy awful. They do this weird thing where if I twist the cord in a particular way, the song freezes or Siri is called up onto the screen, or the song FAST FORWARDS which I didn’t even know was possible. Anyway, I did try and listen to music on the way to Ikaros’ as a means of ignoring the heat. It was incredibly hot and sunny yesterday. I didn’t check the weather before I left, but I was very glad to not be wearing stockings and to also be wearing a very light dress. I also found another pair of sunnies on the train to replace the ones that broke a week or so ago now, so my eyes were well-protected yesterday. I left the sunnies at Ikaros’ house though, so I don’t know what I’m going to do until I see him again, hopefully on Tuesday right before I see Rhiannon at Lentils (she’s got a gig).

Ikaros’ dad is back with Anna so I saw her again, which was weird. Ikaros’ dad asked me how my show went too. I said it was all good. Then I got into an involuntary ‘argument’ (it was a very one-sided discussion if anything) with Connor, that lasted far too long for both my and Ikaros’ comfort. When I finally managed to edge my way past Connor, Ikaros and I sat in his cool, dark bedroom for a while before we gave in and had REALLY REALLY GREAT SEX. I’d literally just typed that and Ikaros texted me that he loves me. Fuck, I wish we were perfect for each other. We aren’t. Like we couldn’t ever work out. I know that. But I wish we could, I really do. I came twice yesterday, and he recognised my first orgasm as it was happening. I told him what to look out for, and he recognised when I came. It was kind of touching. Like he finally knew what to pay attention for and he didn’t stop until he found it. Then we had penetrative sex and it was so hot and we just got so so into it, I came again. And he came too, naturally. Then we had a shower together, which I also realised I had really missed. After we’d finished, we heard his family talking about us outside in the kitchen/living room. Connor said we were having a shower together, and Paul was like ‘great, they’re saving water’, but then Connor asserted that we’d been in there for twenty minutes (which was not true). Then Connor started criticising Paul for taking ages in the shower in the morning, and Paul was trying to stand up for himself, and for us too. And we were on the other side of the door trying not to laugh. Once we’d gotten back to his room though, we just let loose. We couldn’t help it.

We got dressed very quickly and then headed into the city. We were eating around quarter past eight, at which point we were quite starving. But Gong De Lin does not disappoint! We got more lemon chicken, pumpkin soup, fried shiitake mushrooms in sweet and sour sauce, spicy noodles with pork and beef, these vegetable bao dumpling things and ‘chicken’ nuggets. Gong De Lin is a completely vegetarian Asian-style restaurant right on Swanston Street near the corner of Lonsdale and Swanston Streets, very close to Melbourne Central Station. It’s a little pricey (last night cost us $76.60, but Ikaros paid for everything because last time we went it was my treat) but the food is of top quality, honestly. I’ve eaten there twice now, both times with Ikaros, and both times were up there with the best meals I’ve ever had. I could not recommend this place more highly. It is, however, an egregious indulgence and I don’t see myself going back there more than once or twice in a year. We ate really well, and then we walked around the city. We went to Crown and checked out this glorious display they had on for Lunar New Year (which was on Saturday the 28th of January, and the reason why I’m not seeing Evan again until this weekend), and read our horoscopes for 2017. Ikaros was born in the year of the pig, and I’m an ox. The horoscopes warned us both about relationship troubles in 2017, which we expected. The ox horoscope said that I place too much power in words, and that can damage relationships (which is painfully true), and the pig horoscope said that Ikaros (if he’s single, which he kind of is) will meet someone special in the last half of this year. Pigs will have wealth in this year, and Oxen will have average financial success, but good professional opportunities. Hopefully that means I’ll be able to land some kind of internship with a council, or at a publishing firm.

Anyway, last night was really wonderful, and it felt like we were just happy and together again. I know that’s not the case though. I love Ikaros with all my heart. And I was very comfortable with him last night. It was like being out with my best friend. I’m going to make myself sad if I keep talking about this, I know. I feel myself getting sad right now. But I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t. Because it’s just been amazing knowing him. I love him so much, and whatever happens will happen. As long as we’re still in each other’s lives. As long as we still love each other. We have plenty of time for everything else.