#ik this is a lot

[fartlvrr]

im under a rim chair while daddy slowly lets out his farts as i lap at his asshole, forcing me to smell every one telling me he just cant help it. he needs me to be good for him and breathe him in. then he starts to tell me he’s been constipated for days and my licking is finally making him feel like he can shit, he has to let it out it’ll feel so good and relaxing to finally get it out. so he begs me to forgive him while he starts pushing. a thick log starts to appear and im chained to the chair with nowhere to go. slowly he pushes his thick shit out, straining and grunting and moaning as it finally makes its way out. apologizing the whole time while telling me how amazing it feels. how much he needed this. farts escape around the shit as it falls on my face and then the floor next to me, i cough and gag desperately trying to get fresh air, borderline passing out from the shock and the smell. daddy keeps pushing his shit out until he’s all done and there is shit on my face and his logs surrounding my head. he sits there and tells me im lucky he doesnt have me clean him up this time, and that it felt so good this was the first time of many. he calls me his toilet, gets up and spits on me before letting me go so he can give me a bath.

[frogsare-friends]

"back to december is bonrad" this and "back to december is bonrad" that. back to december is JELLYFISH

Your guard is up and I know why

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

bc belly led jeremiah on and then kissed

conrad and jere is (rightfully) mad at her

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

the tire fight when belly apologizes for

not being there for jeremiah and for what

she did last summer

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine

her wishing she had brought jeremiah to

prom and telling him she missed him

I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright

she'd change what happened and not

hurt him how she did, also bc her and

conrad spent time together in cousins in

december and didn't tell jeremiah

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side

THEY HAVE A DRIVING THING. i feel like

it can't be more jelly coded than this.

summer, driving, laughing and actually

being happy

And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

she got with conrad and had to fight for

him to show her he loved her. and he was

cold and distant

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

he consistently was there for her and

she wasn't there when he needed her

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinkin'

Probably mindless dreamin'

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

it needs no explanation, it's just them

[messylustt]

So I wanna enter the dating scene next year. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I really struggle with the thought of a man being a gentleman towards me. Like I struggle with BPD and that makes me struggle with self worth. So it’s hard to imagine anyone actually liking me and wanting to treat me well. Does that make sense? Any advice on allowing someone to treat you well and accept compliments?

aw, my love <3

i’ve never had a boyfriend either, so i can understand the nerves with stepping into the dating scene (i’m fucking terrified).

and that totally makes sense. it’s hard having almost that little voice telling you that no guy will ever treat you right. or that you “don’t deserve it”.

let’s be honest some guys can be shit. and if they’re shit to you that is utterly THEIR problem. nothing to do with you at all. pls remember that!! (it’s a lot easier said then done tho ik)

it’s amazing that you’ve rooted the problem—a lot of people can’t get to that stage, so you’re already halfway there. it’s most definitely gonna feel like stepping out of your comfort zone, but always know that you deserve so much love ❤️

ignore those voices as best you can and really BELIEVE that you deserve a guy who will treat with respect and unconditional love (because you do). don’t lower your standards for anyone.

it’s a mindset. 100%. so I say just really focus on what makes you feel so down/uncomfortable about excepting compliments/respect etc. it’s easier when you focus on the exact thing that makes you feel that way. then you can overcome it.

now I may have just waffled on there and maybe none of it was that helpful. but a feel free to ask more. you can most definitely text me privately if that’s more comfortable <33 ilysmmmm

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[kiyoramen]

When you started dating Tobio, you quickly took notice on his meticulousness and diligence when it came to his sport. This included taking a jog every morning without fail, filing his nails, writing in his volleyball journal, and eating the right meal. But this… this takes the cake.

“Tobio… what do you need all these shoes for?” you ask dumbfounded while standing in front of his wall filled with shelves of identical volleyball shoes.

He blinks at you before he grabs a pair and fiddles with it, “I couldn’t throw them away.”

“Yes? But why do you need this many? And identical ones at that? Did you not think to purchase a different design?”

“The mid-sole gets worn out quickly if you play every day,” he explains, “and a different design might feel different…”

You nod and take one, noticing a tag inside that has numbers on it, “but why keep them?”

“It has some sentimental value,” he says blushing, “actually this one,” he takes the shoe from you, “I was using during the time I met you.”

You beam at this, “That’s cute, Tobio! I didn’t know you were the sentimental type.”

…..

A month later during one of your dates you gifted him a new pair of shoes.

“Don’t worry about the design! It’s the same model and brand, just a different colorway.”

He nods, his eyes sparkling as he inspects it.

“Do you like it?”

He looks at you and smiles, “I love it.”

He didn’t use the shoes during the regular season and the VNL games, claiming it was too precious to wear. So imagine your surprise to see your boyfriend on television during the Olympics wearing the shoes you bought him months ago.

[mechorrhizae]

I had the uncontrollable urge to animate a skeleton breakdancing so here is Harrow animating a skeleton breakdancing

[roobiedo]

obsessed with him 100% platonically

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[the-silliest-ever]

[remxedmoon]

see?

everything’s fine.

(greyscale + extras below!!)

so! this was SUPPOSED to be a bonnie drawing. but for some reason i just Can’t draw bonnie to save my life today. and i needed to draw something simple to make myself less frustrated!! and by simple i mean this took me almost 3 hours and i had to redraw it because i didn’t like how the lineart turned out the first time!! oops!! at least it turned out cute🩶. and i got to play around with my textured brush!

also as a bonus, my terrible first attempt + the sketch!! that i apparently accidentally deleted at some point? so this is a screenshot from the timelapse. i dont know what happened to it…

[frogsare-friends]

I'm Not Built for Helping Myself

chapter index | chapter 1 (you are here)

- JEREMIAH -

Nothing at the summer house felt the same without her there. That was the one and only thing I was confident would never change. Sometimes I wished I was back in Boston, with too many bad memories to make it a happy place. There I could be mad at her, at Dad, at Conrad, even. Here all I can picture is her smile, the one reserved for summer, for Cousins. The rest of the year were tight-lipped, plastered on smiles that never reached her eyes. I couldn't blame her, though. I wore the same one. Dad and Conrad, however, prefered a blank slate. Cold and bitter, telling everything and showing nothing.

I almost think that if I could leave, I would. I would go and never come back, never remember her smile, or the dresses that were still hung in her closet. When I was little Belly and I used to sneak into her room and play dress up. Belly wore her button down (the only one Susannah had owned) and made me wear her heels and her frilly dresses she'd buy for the fancy dinners Dad took her out to. They had stopped doing that when I was 12, they started back up as apology dinners when I was 14. We'd leave the place a mess, and looking back, Mom definitely knew what we were up to when we'd run off scheming, giggling to ourselves — unbeknownst to us that we were giggling to everyone else, too. Dad found us once, I was dressed in my mom's favorite shade of blue, Belly and I putting on her brightest red lipstick. I haven't touched makeup since, made Conrad put the contents of her vanity in a tote to go in the attic.

I think that if I ever really did leave, Conrad would kill me. I don't think Conrad could ever let people know how much he cares about them, not without hurting them. He's trying, I have to remind myself. Maybe he wouldn't kill me, maybe he would track me down and never stop texting and calling. Not to convince me to come back, just to yell at me. Just to hurt me enough to make sure I know Conrad cares about me, but not to care about me enough to make sure I know I hurt him. Maybe if I couldn't read Connie so well that approach would actually work.

"That's stupid," I think. I don't even make sense in my own head. I get why everyone wants me to be happy all the time now, it's so much less confusing for everyone.

"Jere, c'mon man. Liam's having a party tonight. You're the DD!" Steve yells as he runs past me, not waiting for me to object. I'm excited, excited to get out of my head a little. Spend some time with my brother, Steven, and — mainly — Belly.

I should go check on her. I'm so in love with her that sometimes I think it might kill me. I've never felt anything good so strongly, nothing that hasn't crushed my lungs. I know Conrad feels that way too, know about the panic attacks. Maybe I'm a bad brother for not telling him I know, but Conrad has always shut down when people notice things about him. The problem with me is that I never stops noticing, but I know how to pretend. I'd help, though, in a heartbeat. If I was there when he had one, mysterious older brothers be damned, I would help him. Would ask him for 5 things he can see. I don't have the heart to tell Conrad that anxiety is genetic, that I get them too. I can't tell him about how I get sick when I'm anxious, how I sit in bed and cry and have panic attack after panic attack when the weight of this house and the last get to be too much.

I want to. I want to look at Conrad and find what used to be there. But I can't. I try and bile rises up my throat, and really, that's the problem in the first place. So what's the point? I've never been one for holding grudges, and I'm not. If accused of it, I wouldn't deny it, but that's not what this is about. It's about trust. I trusted him, I needed him. And he wasn't there. I knows it's not fair, not fair to ask Conrad to take care of me, look after me, care about me. I know it's not fair, but I can't help thinking that I do it every time. Conrad thinks he's the only one that carries everything, but he isn't. I'm the one there to pick up the pieces and glue them back together whenever Conrad drops it. I've always looked up to Conrad, but more, I've always looked after Conrad. When Dad went to London for two weeks because he was mad at me, I was there for Connie, not the other way around. It's not fair, it never has been. But I can't help but want Conrad to care about me the way I care about Conrad. I know he cares about me as much, but I don't care how much he loves me if he won't say it, won't talk about it. I want more than for Con to love me a lot, I want him to love me well.

By the time I get upstairs, Belly is already dressed and putting on her makeup. God, I'll never get over how I can't breathe in a good way whenever I see her. Not like the world stops, like I stop. Because in the entire world all I'm thinking about is her. The world is still there, I just couldn't care less when she is too.

Then she turns around. And she's wearing the same dress that Mom used to love. The same one Dad once caught me in. The first of two times Adam Fisher ever laid a hand on either of his sons. And suddenly that good feeling of can't breathe, of too much is very much a bad feeling.

"Jere, what's wrong?" But I can't, I can't, I can't. She always could read me too well.

"I-" and I don't get the time to finish my sentence before I'm running to the bathroom. Pulling up the seat and dropping to my knees in front of the toilet. There's a soft hand on my back, rubbing it while her other one grabs a hair tie, pulling my hair back for me. God, I love her.

"It's okay, Jere. Shhh, it's okay. Let it out, I got you" she continues to whisper sweetly into my hair, kissing my head when the worst of it's over. I'm panting, trying to get rid of that feeling of not being able to breathe.

"Ew guys, no being in the bathroom togeth- Oh. You okay man?" Steven walks over, looking like he wants to help but would also rather be anywhere else. He does have a fear of throwing up, afterall.

- BELLY -

"It's fine Steven, he'll be fine. I don't need you throwing up on the floor, get out of here. You and Conrad go, we're not gonna make it." I'm not mad at Jere for being sick, how could I be. But I will be mad if Steven doesn't get out of here and throws up all over the floor because of it. I'm not cleaning it up, and I'm definitely not rubbing his back.

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay here? We can go out and get some crackers," Steven offers, his back turned but still listening intently.

- JEREMIAH -

"No, you go man, I'm good. You've been looking forward to this all day, have a good night" I'm practically begging him. I like to think that if things were different, if I wasn't sobbing over a toilet, begging him to go, Steven would stay. I don't usually get what I like though.

"Yeah, alright dude. We'll see you tonight?" Steven walks out before he gets an answer, I wasn't sure he was really asking a question though.

[punkitt-is-here]

PICTURE OF ME TRYING ON ONE OF MY FIRST SKIRTS EVER

changed a lot since then :D

[thehealingsystem]

hey this thanksgiving I ask people to please please please please don't forget about indigenous americans. celebrate all you want, eat turkey, spend time with family, idc, but please do so in respect to the actual meaning behind the holiday and the atrocities committed against natives. your day of thankfulness for all that you have, the things you only have because of colonialism, is a day of mourning for us

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3

[beescake]

Are you an AraSol enthusiast. If you’re a Sollux fan you must be it’s impossible to enjoy him without also enjoying araSol. It comes with the xbox

HELL YEHA OFC I LOVE THEM

theyre so endgame 4 me

i also think they are the coolest characters in homestuck. nobody else on their level