#ik loads more if none of these are what u want lol

[rememberingnoah]

@neurodivenport ???

seychelle gabriel, daniela nieves, brianne tju, ashley moore, reina hardesty, adeline rudolph, amber midthunder, tamala shelton, courtney eaton, erana james, alexa mansour, meg delacy

[pmbueckers]

— for evermore

01 ‘tis the damn season

⌞and it always leads to you in my hometown⌝ – taylor swift ⋆⁺₊❅.

pairing – paige bueckers x fem oc!dorothea greene

summary – they’ve been at it since highschool, this back and forth, but what happens if and when paige and thea finally realize this hometown situationship might be worth something more?

word count – 3.7k

warnings – idgaf abt punctuation, language

links – masterlist , series masterlist

authors note – find all the information abt this fic with the link above! tried my very best to line it up with the ttds lyrics but giving it my own twist/meaning. it makes sense to me but thats coming from a chronic swiftie so idk if its gonna be confusing for others or not.. pls lmk but be nice lol

dorothea greene pov, december 2023

if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you 

its been three years since we graduated and no matter how much i told myself the throwing of our caps in the air was it, the symbolic end, i knew myself better than that. i knew her better. i knew us better.

because you can never truly escape paige bueckers.

shes like vines, and once youre in, youre in.

im going home tonight, to celebrate the holidays with my family and hometown friends, but the odds that i dont see her are slim to none. and shes all i can think about as im trying to pack. everything im throwing in my bag, a reminder of her. the shoes she got me for my birthday years ago, my favorite t shirt to sleep in that may or may not be hers. even what im wearing to the goddamn airport, a sweatsuit i bought at the mall of america with her, and a necklace she gave to me before we graduated that i cant muster the strength to give up.

i know i dont mean anything to her anymore, honestly i dont know if i even meant that much to her back then, but i cant help but be conflicted myself, why is it the whole year im fine, “cured” of paige bueckers, but the second it hits december and i know snow is falling back home, i need to be back in hopkins wrapped up in her arms? she probably has someone else by now. no, she definitely has someone else by now. this shouldnt be so hard. i just need to go back home, and not get drawn back in. easier said than done.

im loading all my things into my car, this car, damn we did it in her car too didnt we? see, what did i say? constant. reminders.

its the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you 

fuck, “snap out of it” i murmur to myself over and over while loading my bags. its not too many bags so im just piling them into my passenger seat as im paying to keep my car parked at the airport while im gone.

i head back up to my apartment to lock it up then im pulling out of my places parking ramp and am on the freeway to the airport, a peaceful car ride, that is till i get a notification that makes my heart jump and car nearly swerve off the road. and i know its abt to begin, im abt to fall back in, but i cant help it.

paige bueckers

Hey

Whats your break schedule

read 6:21 pm

dorothea greene

hi.

ive got the next four weeks of classes off but im only going to be home for abt two.

deciding to only stay home for about two weeks to minimize the amount of damage i can do involving her, but i decide to keep that part out.

Cool

When’s your flight?

in two hours actually

im on the road rn

Don’t crash pls

I prefer you alive

i roll my eyes and let out a little snicker, thankful she cant hear, but typical paige having to sneak at least something in. im glancing up and down from my phone to the road, dont text and drive is repeating in my head in my moms voice, but its paige. the exact reason why im afraid to go home.

funny

Its the truth

So your landing in 6 hrs then?

At 12?

nice math

Alr alr chill 😂

How you getting home from the airport its gonna be late

Prolly like 1 am

yeah ik

thats what ubers are for paige

Nah uh no way

What if its a creep

I’ll come get you

no

i cant ask u to do that

u wont get home till like two

(a lie, im overestimating, but i really wasnt intenting on seeing paige this early on my trip back home.)

U aint askin im offering

Plus I want to

hm yeah right why is that paige

Aint it obvious comon

I miss you Thea.

read 6:43

theres an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if its all the same to you its the same to me 

and just like that, those three words, eight letters. that i so wish were three different ones, eight different letters, ones im sure shes said to someone else, someone new in connecticut. but i cant bother to care about right now because at least i got something, something to show that maybe she still cares a little bit. a little bit about me.

i dont know if this is a mistake, even though i think i do. i know i do. even though i just told myself a couple of hours ago i wasnt going to do this. but hell, going from trying to not see her at all to her being the first person i see is almost comical.

okay.

im going to be in terminal one

gate G20.

Damn was kinda hopin for a diff kinda rsp

Guess that’ll do…

you’re so pushy omg

i miss you too p.

That’s more like it 😊

i hate you sm

Nah

You dont.

read 6:49

paige is right, which she knows. i dont hate her, i never could, and i dont think i ever will. that is what hurts the most. no matter how much i have to remind myself of the routine and how much this will never go anywhere, how her words are empty, only sounding full and meaningful for the week or two we are in the same city, i dont know how to stop. bc its her. its paige. my paige.

the rest of my travel night goes by in a blur, i paid for my car to be parked in the garage, i checked my bags, went through security, waited at the gate, and am now on the plane where i would normally get a nice four hour nap in so the ride would go by quicker, i dont, because i dont know if im prepared to land, to see whos waiting for me once this plane lands in minnesota. but just like that it does, it lands.

thankfully, im seated near the back of the aircraft so i have a little bit more time wasting im able to do, i find myself walking to baggage claim extremely slow its almost comical, praying my bag isnt one of the first ones out, but of course it is. curse you universe. im plotting on how im gonna look lost outside, how i purposefully cant find her car like i have no idea what it looks like, like i dont have her license plate number memorized. like we havent done unspeakable shit in that car, unable to wait a ten minute drive home from a random bar.

that is until i look up from my phone, suspicious because she hasnt texted me about her whereabouts outside yet, and i spot a little ways down the strip of the airport, a strikingly bright blonde head of hair that i would recognize anywhere.

my pace, unbeknownst to me, picks up, and as i get closer i can make out that shes holding up a sign. not huge and flashy, but modest, smaller, she begins to walk towards me as well with what i can make out so far as the biggest grin on her face i have ever seen. that im sure my own face is reflecting. the closer she gets the more clear her sign becomes, it reads, ‘welcome home thea’ as she flips it to the back that says ‘ive missed you most’. at this point ive completely ditched my bags and have just jumped in her arms, a giggling mess. god im a child. my arms are wrapped around her neck, hers around my waist, lifting me up off the floor slightly, breathing into my neck.

a couple of hours ago i said i wasnt going to get drawn back in, now im in the middle of the airport looking like a lovesick idiot. 

so we could call it even you could call me babe for the weekend 'tis the damn season 

“hi baby” she mumbled against my skin and heart just about burst. i missed her so much. i pull back to look at her face, i just want to look at her face, i could forever. with my hands cupping her face. her rosy cheeks from being outside in the minnesota weather all cold, trying to warm her up.

as shes setting me down shes wiping hair out of my face, off of my forehead, looking deep into my eyes with her ocean blue ones, “god i missed you.” she whispered, quiet enough to be heard by just us, like a secret she didnt want anyone around us to hear in fear of it breaking. “so ive heard” i say back to her, moving my face closer to hers, with a smug but playful grin on my lips. and my arms are right back around her neck as im saying into her ear “i missed you too p.” scattering small kisses across the side of her head. on her ear, hairline, neck, temple. i know better. but at this point, theres no going back. and its not on her lips, so what damage is it really doing?

i back away and intertwine my hand with hers while looking into her eyes, “lets go home, k?” i say while nodding my head in encouragement, “okay” she mumbles, while squeezing my hand, and grabbing my bags for me off of the floor. shes perfect, for these next two weeks shes going to be perfect. 

write this down, im stayin at my parents house and the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you in my hometown 

im in her passenger seat, like ive been in drastically different situations many times before, as we’ve finally made it out of the god awful airport pickup zone. ive been day dreaming out this window for who knows how long, about her of course. because when im with her as happy as it makes me, it only confuses me more. and it drives me insane.

thats when i feel her right hand creep up on my thigh from the drivers side in soothing circles, “thea? hey did you hear what i said?” my eyes jerk down to her hand and then towards her eyes. “sorry p, whats up?” because i genuinely did miss her question. but theres some look etched on her face, one i havent seen before, and it makes me take a big gulp of water thats been sitting in her car for possibly ages, as im all of a sudden afraid of what shes gonna say.

her hand continues to rub soothing circles on my thigh while her eyes i swear are staring into the deepest parts of my soul, i should be worried considering shes currently driving on the highway but i cant seem to care, the way she looks at me makes me feel like im the only person in the world. “hey are you okay?” she says sincerely, “what?” i say almost too loudly, “sorry, yeah no im good p”, safe to say that wasnt what i was expecting her to ask. i dont know what i was, but it wasnt that. not something that made her seem like she cares deeper about me than whats on the surface level. actually able to tell when somethings going on with me. whatever, its probably nothing. “alright thea,” as her goddamn hand is almost territorially sitting on my thigh now, like shes trying to protect me from the heat coming out of the ac in the car.

“you never told me where im takin you.” she states, looking at me with her cute but smuggish at the same time grin. “yeah right, sorry, uh im staying with my parents. i’ll send you the address.” i ramble, trying to get this car ride to go by quicker. i swear shes driving slower on purpose. just to see me squirm. i see out of the corner of my eye as im going to send her the address her hand coming up to my phone, shes setting my hands down in my lap, and then turning my chin to face her, “thea. enough with the sorries. and i know were your parents live baby you dont need to send me the address.” she lets out a chuckle, but not one making fun, a light hearted one, as her hand moves to find mine and intertwines our fingers in my lap. but i know paige better than anyone, before we were whatever this is, we were friends, bestfriends. so of course she lets no teasing opportunity pass her by,

“damn,” she says, looking down at my phone, that has our messages open, “legal name as the contact name is lethal” she says, looking up at me with a smirk, i shove her shoulder trying not to give her the satisfaction of a laugh and am then playing with the rings on her fingers. “alright p i would like a better suggestion. your name as your name in my phone makes complete sense to me. now i dont even wanna know what you got me as in yours,” i say with a chuckle, but also leaving it on a hint, i do wanna know. its probably nothing special, but paige is right, anything other than my full name would be special.

“oh really?” shes looking at me with that smirk, god it kills me. shes pulled out her phone and opened it up to my contact, 'thea 💚'. it really seems like nothing special to the blind eye, but it is to me. not even my full first name, my nickname, with a heart that just about makes my own burst. because its not just any, one of my favorite color, that ironically is the same as my last name. no words are exchanged between us. just two pairs of eyes looking deeply into one another, faces with the biggest grins on them, while the rest of the car ride was silent. the center console of her car jabbing into the left side of my rib cage so my head was able to lean on her shoulder with her hand in my lap the whole way home. our hearts beating almost too romantically in sync the whole way to my parents house.

paige, despite what i knew she wanted to do, dropped me off at home. she pulled into my parents driveway with her headlights off, sure to not wake them, and though the door wasnt even twenty feet away, “im still walking you to it” she insisted, while grabbing my bags from the backseat.

i unlocked my front door, placed my bags inside and turned to the tall blonde, looking up into her icy blue eyes. “thank you for getting me p. and bringing me home,” i whispered the last part as i reach up to place my arms around her neck, as her arms find their familiar home around my waist. i couldnt tell you how long we stood there for, swaying lightly, not wanting to let one another go, with my front door wide open letting all the cold minnesota air in. like when i come back home, and let paige back in.

i finally pulled away looking into her eyes, mumbling “but i cant let you in. i want to, but i cant, p.” paige sighs, looking down at our feet, then back at me, “i know baby, its okay.” she spoke while wiping baby hairs away from my face and once again scooping me up in a hug. her breath warm agaisnt the left crevice where my neck and shoulder meet. i want to let her in so bad, but i cant because i know myself. i know her. i know us. and she knows it too. one thing will lead to another. and i need to try to hold out for as long as possible, as much as its killing me.

as paige pulls away she leaves a kiss on my cheek and mumbles, “i’ll see you soon. get some sleep okay?” looking at me with questioning eyes and a raised eyebrow. god shes so cute. “okay.” i breathe out, reaching down to grab both of her hands. till she starts to back away, i find myself trying to hold onto the tips of her fingers for as long as possible as shes whispering goodbye and just like that her car is backing out of the driveway, and im standing under the porch light. alone. i know this scene all too well. we arent in highschool anymore, i have to remind myself, so i turn around and head inside before i overthink our situation, again.

i parkеd my car right between the methodist and thе school that used to be ours

with playlists blasting in my ears, im unpacking my bags in my childhood room, tidying it up because my mom has turned it into her own personal closet while ive been gone, finding little knickknacks that meant everything to me as a kid.

i stumble upon a hopkins basketball sweatshirt on my closet floor, i wonder who that belongs to? a cross on my wall from our communities church event. from the same church i went to every sunday that i would always find myself sitting next to paige at.

and cleaning my bathroom i so luckily have attached to my bedroom, putting away my toiletries, opening a drawer that still has some of her things in it from when she would stay over almost every night, all as im about to get in the shower before i finally try and get some sleep.

thats when my music pauses to signify a ding of a notification. its paige, of course.

paige bueckers

U up?

read 2:13 am

thea 💚

nope

Alr 1 ur mean 2 I thought I told u to sleep

one you love me

two shouldnt u not be textin me then?

Damn u right on both tbh

But nah yk I cant leave u alone

read 2:17am

overthinking is my speciality, but am i doing that right now? because in all of our years of just being friends we expressed our gratitude for one another, but since we’ve been whatever the fuck this is, flirt, hookup, ghost, paige has never even said the words “i like you” to me.

we both know we care so deeply for one another, possibly more, but its complicated. our lives never worked out together that way, never overlapped, so we accepted the mutual heartbreak but kept pushing forward with this toxic cycle anyways because neither of us could bare not having the other in our life anymore.

did she just admit that she loves me? nah. no fucking way. we say shit in playful tones like that all time. oh you love me this you love me that. but shes never admitted it back, not like that. what is going on. god its late, get out of your head thea. play it cool.

yeah ur lowkey annoying

highkey actually

Alr get out

U love me back dw ik

mm debatable 

Ouch

Wyd tmr

i dont know actually

my parents arent awake to make any plans with lol

Oh so I get u first

ok who said that??

You basically 😊

paige madison omg

Hey that reminds me

You change that contact name yet??

that rlly buggin you huh

Maybe

then i might just keep it

Thea istg

alr alr chill i will change it 😂

dorothea greene changed paige bueckers contact to 'paige 💜'

And I will pick u up at noon?

where tf did i agree to that?

Would you rather meet somewhere?

i dont see where i agreed to do anything with you

I want to see you

paige.

you just saw me not even an hour ago

I miss you

you cant possibly

How do you know that

You dont know I feel

I miss you

I miss you

okay will you shut up if i say yes

Um only if nice Thea shows up

okay sorry p 😂😂

Never be sorry

Sooooo I will pick you up tomorrow at noon?

you will pick me up tomorrow at noon.

Goodnight baby sleep well

Actually sleep please

read 2:35

that damn petname, nickname, whatever it is it fucking kills me and she probably has no idea. no she definitely knows and thats why she uses it.

thank god she cant see my face right now because its full blown red, completely embarrassed post screaming my lungs out into my pillow.

i will

goodnight p

see u tmr.

i just snickered to myself after sending paige those last texts. almost shameful of myself. i dont know what im doing. or maybe i do? i think its safe to say my winter break is gonna go different than i planned, but the same way as it always been whenever i dare to mix myself with paige bueckers and my hometown.

the next chapter will be finishing out the lyrics of ttds (in blue) which will be linked in the masterlist once finished! - im gonna try and make this into a full blown series incorporating other songs from the album 'evermore' going back in time as well to give some background information on their relationship, etc. we'll see how it goes...

reminder: my box is open for all requests ⋆˙⟡

[rintoorus]

VALENTINE’S DAY WITH THEM—

ft. iwaizumi h. + miya a. + kita s. + suna r.

warnings: not proofread but besides that none that ik of

author’s note: very cliché sorry not sorry, also wishing i was their valentine dhmu ☹️☹️☹️, also i was imagining their 3rd year selves while writing so do what you want w that info lol,, i don’t think it’s major tho

—IWAIZUMI

+ ok ok he’s not super big on valentine’s day and lowk thinks it’s pointless

+ bc why does is this day more significant than the rest????

+ again, he’s not a fan of the holiday, but after he overhears you talking to oikawa about how you were excited to be able to have a valentine this year, how could he not want to do everything he could to make it special???

+ whatever iwa does, he puts a lot of effort and consideration into

+ including volleyball and DEFINITELY your relationship

+ so it takes a little while for him to decide on what to do, wanting it to be perfect for you

+ aaaand the day arrives, he had told you the night before to be ready by 6pm, not telling you what to expect

+ he picks you up at 6

+ he greets you with a smile, a kiss on the forehead, and a “happy valentine’s day baby”

+ you give him the gift you made for him and he absolutely loves it <3

+ okay now you guys are driving, you’re still in the dark about the evening’s plans

+ you’re both in the car, catching up on the day’s events while the songs on your guys’ playlist play in the background at a lowish volume

+ you both now arrive at your destination!

+ it’s your favorite café, a small family owned one, and it’s also where you and hajime went on your first date

+ he rented the entire place out as a favor from the owners

+ the place was slightly redecorated to fit the night—it was intimate and inviting

+ you both take your seats, to find the food is already served and iwa had cooked your favorite meal to perfection

+ this man gives off chef level cooking skills to me idk

+ dinner was perfect, filled with reminiscent conversation, laughter, and adoration

+ a romantic night overall and you ended the night watching romance movies back at his place

+ he is a huge romantic you cannot change my mind

—ATSUMU

+ this man is a huge softie okay? okay.

+ very much likes the idea valentine’s day bc it’s another excuse to shower you with affection

+ he wants to make sure you know he loves you a lot

+ he doesn’t do anything too flashy or extravagant

+ despite the attention he gets from being this famous setter, and his outgoing extravagant personality, he likes the relaxed and lowkey dynamic of your relationship

+ not to mention he’s been really busy with practice and you your studies so

+ so you both opt for a cozy night in!

+ he stops by your place with a shit load of snacks, plus onigiri that he asked osamu to teach him how to make

+ and you guys catch up your favorite show to watch together

+ you ended up getting a bit bored and decided to bake and decorate a cake together halfway thru

+ after you’re done, not even 5 minutes after finishing it, this mf starts eating it

+ he also gives you a necklace with his name on it bc YES PLEASE

—KITA

+ will definitely want to do something for you

+ you’ve been especially stressed with school and responsibilities lately

+ he’ll do anything he can to help, and figures he can make the day special and take your mind off of it and spend quality time together

+ the day is sunny and the perfect weather for an intimate picnic at the park

+ there’s not a lot of other people there, a few people strolling around but besides that, just the two of you

+ this man went alllll out

+ those pretty tiktok picnics? yeah that.

+ i’m thinking he has your favorite flowers laid out in the middle, homemade onigiri, a small cake that’s your favorite flavor, you get it

+ “happy valentine’s day my love”

+ you guys spend your date people watching and spending quality time together

—SUNA

+ he’s kinda known for making sure to capture the moment right

+ so obviously he has a ton of pictures of the two of you

+ all saved in a special album

+ so he printed a shit ton out!!! and put it all into a scrapbook of your memories and dates

+ he made sure it was pretty and looked nice

+ spent a LOT of time on it too

+ each page had pictures of either you both on dates or at school or at home

+ also filled with little momentos like the movie ticket from your first date (yes he took you to the movies)

+ this boy really put his mf soul into it LMAO

+ so the day comes and you guys are at his place

+ some music in the background bc he cannot do without it

+ you two preferred lowkey things when it came to events like this so you were more than happy just spending time with him and cuddling

+ but then he says “hold on babe” and gets up to grab a neatly wrapped square shaped item

+ he hands it to you and it’s not small so you’re like??? what’s this???

+ “just open it”

+ so you do

+ and there’s a big picture on the cover of the two of you, you remember it’s from the day he first said i love you

+ i am a sentimental whore i’m sorry

+ and i think he is too 🤚🤚🤚

+ you could tell he put a lot of love into this gift so you just get soft and you’re like ... rin .... wtf .... crying but not ....

+ and then he jokes around and tells you to shut up and stop being soft

+ but he lowkey loves it

+ so he pulls you in for a hug and you guys spend a large chunk of the evening going thru the pages and reminiscing

end notes lol: ok kita’s is rlly short i’m sorry i blanked KITA I STILL LOVE U ☹️☹️ and thank you for reading <3

—rintoorus

[anbeee-blog]

oh sangwoo: ignorant bliss - chapter four

i do not own the manhwa nor do i own any of the killing stalking characters except my own. i do not own the plot of the manhwa except this fanfic plot. killing stalking belongs to koogi. thank you for giving us this beautiful work of art!!

I got home that night blaming myself silly over how terrible our meeting turned out to be. After I washed down my makeup and changed into my home clothes, I turned on my laptop and laid on my bed. My apartment hummed after I'd turned on the heater, enveloping me in comfortable warmth.

Unexpectedly, my phone buzzed on my blanket and I picked it up, wary and knowing full well who it was. I turned it on and went to my messages, one sent by none other than Sangwoo himself.

[unknown]

hey

is this eunbi?

I bit my lip and my thumbs hovered over the screen, hesitating to type a reply. But he's already seen that I opened his messages. I cross my legs on my bed and text him back. Then I open my music playlist on Spotify and let it play in my room.

yeah

sangwoo rite?

mhm

are u home safe now

no one came up to u or anything

right

no nothing like that

thanks for worrying

im ok

sorry for making you worry haha

As I waited for him to reply, I hummed to the song playing on my laptop as I clicked on Tumblr in my bookmarks. I waited for the site to load and looked back at my phone, trying to ease my rapid heartbeat. What was wrong with me?

im just glad ur ok

I clutched my shirt collar and suddenly my chest hurt. He was never one to worry. We always left each other to our own devices and knew that we were capable of ourselves. This wasn't like Sangwoo, but could I really know him after only talking to him for a few hours?

thanks

so

can we forget about earlier?

haha no wait

i'm genuinely curious

when did it start

when did what start?

I knew damn well what he was referring to and playing dumb wouldn't delay his response any time later.

your crush on me

it's bothering me rn

i wanna know when u started liking me lol

it's kinda funny

That was all he had to say? That me liking him back then was funny? I suddenly didn't want to talk to him anymore and wanted to leave him on read. But something impulsively made me tap a fast reply back, an underlying aggression inside the message.

oh hahaha

started when u got drafted

not surprised u left so soon after we graduated lol

but u can't help it w/ girls or anyone in particular rlly

can u?

Oh my God. Had I really done that? And Sangwoo hadn't even begun typing own message. Anxiety flooded my brain and I fought to keep myself calm. My legs tangled themselves up under the blanket and my hands attempted to steady themselves while still holding the phone.

"What is wrong with me?" I asked nobody in particular.

( . . . )

He's typing.

( . . . )

The more minutes that passed by, the more my anxiety increased and I tried to contain myself. Calm down, Eunbi. It's just a text. No big deal.

ping!

u always know how to make me laugh babe

"Babe?" I whispered. As if that wasn't enough--

let's go out tmr at 3.

u down?

uh

it's not gonna be awk as it was tonite

right

LOL

not if u make it awkward yourself haha

i also got smt else to ask

yeah? what is it

what u heard abt what happened before i left for the military

what exactly did u hear

ill explain

to make it up for earlier

He's actually going to do it, I thought. He was going to open up, as odd enough as it sounded.

i heard that ur parents got murdered

if it's tru

im so sorry

so sorry that i wasn't there for u

and that i didn't know what was going on to comfort u

im saying this in case it's tru

( . . . )

( . . . )

( . . . )

thanks eunbi

it's tru

they got murdered

i didn't take it well

the military was a way for me to cope i guess

i wish i told u about it

instead of being so closed up back then

ik im closed up now but

i'll try to open up to u now that we can talk

He's not apologizing, I noticed. But I was expecting too much of him much too soon, probably. I rubbed my temples and reached for my laptop to play another one of my music playlists. The instrumental piano always managed to soothe me, especially one of Yiruma's works. I shifted my pillows behind me and grabbed one of my Pusheen cat pillows close to me as I typed up a reply.

u don't know how much this means to me

im sorry for always trying to force u to tell me abt ur business

i was always frustrated haha

just tell me when ur ready

i wont force you anymore

😊💖💖

Breathe, Eunbi, breathe.

so where do u wanna meet tmr?

u remember that old cafe we always went to after school ?

i wanna go there

and i wanna talk more

ill tell u everything that happened while i was gone

and i wanna know more about you

ok

and if it's alright

since it's during the day

can i come over to ur house after? read

lol

so if it weren't night then u would've come

right

haha im not gonna fuck you eunbi

I felt myself blush and screamed into my Pusheen cat pillow.

wtf no i wasn't thinking that

even if it were night i still would've come

it was just late tonite

u pervert

see u tmr at 3?

mhm

u goin to sleep?

yeah haha i have a class in the morning

shit im goin back to college lol

rlly?? which one

im at the local one that's close by.

sungsoo university

basically the only one in this area LOL

damn

im goin there soon

fuckk haha

well night eunbi

night

After I turned off my phone and my laptop, I lied back in bed hugging my Pusheen cat pillow. All I knew for a fact that this wasn't the Sangwoo that I knew back then and that he definitely, definitely changed a lot. His tone was flirtatious, practically oozing through the text. And I didn't like it. But it didn't hurt to do that, would it?

I wasn't conversing with the person that I had so closely confided with and spent almost my entire high school career with. We were grown adults now and it would be natural for men to unconsciously flirt every once in a while. Right?

The night continued to prosper outside my window and I listened to the crickets hum and some toads that croaked every now and then. He'd changed and I would have to accept it. We weren't adolescents anymore. We were thrown in a world that treated us harshly and nothing better than the dirt that we walked on. Maybe the military shaped him into that sort of thinking along with his behavior. Maybe I wasn't Sangwoo's only friend and I was just glooming over him like some obsessive freak.

It was getting late and I was acting like my high school self again, fussing over something so miniscule. Sangwoo no longer wore his glasses, enhancing his handsome appearance. Maybe his looks had thrown me off and my hormones spun out of control as a result.

I'm going crazy, I concluded. And reached over to my nightstand and turned the lamp off.

continuing in... | chapter five | (chapter will be linked as soon as i update!)