#ik it's just a show but this article pissed me of a bit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

calamitydarcy · 1 year ago

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oh this is still very much a thing that happens!!

i just joined the fandom like. maybe a month ago (i'm always late to the party for shows i watch them AFTER they're done airing 99% of the time lmao) and holy fuck the amount of victim-blaming shit. people really just cannot handle abuse victims :/

the one part of your post i'd disagree with is saying it's arguable that she was abusive to jasper which. ehhh i wouldn't say abusive, that's stepping into territory of 1) lapis being the abuser and jasper being the victim (which ik is not what you're saying but it's a very common thing in this fandom and i Hate It!) or 2) the whole. mutual abuse thing which isn't really a thing and is more often than not just used to harm victims. it's used either to blame them for their own abuse by others or used by their abuser to make them think they're the bad one (I've had it done to me and several organizations like the domestic violence hotline have articles on it). did she harm jasper? yeah. but i wouldn't call it abuse since she was Actively Being Abused and was lashing out and keeping her down just to keep herself and her friends, the first people who have cared for her in THOUSANDS OF YEARS, safe.

i'm very hyperfixated on the malachite arc it's my specialty i have So Many things to say. most of this is just adding onto the things you already addressed and going into detail because I've found an opportunity to infodump akjhsdf

starting with pre-malachite. lapis was imprisoned in a mirror for thousands of years, abandoned, and FINALLY freed by steven, who was the only person who actually like. spoke to her and treated her like a person instead of a tool. she tries to get off-planet so she can go home but she Can't because her gem is cracked. so she does the one thing she Can do and uses her hydrokinesis to build a massive ocean pillar to reach home. at this point she still very much shares homeworld's view of organic lifeforms just not really mattering and she Despises the earth, so she doesn't really think about the people she's hurting. that's pretty Messed Up but she does show regret for it and changes later on. anyways steven is able to heal her gem and she flies off back to homeworld. steven is the only person on earth she viewed as a friend as she was pissed off at the crystal gems for Not Freeing Her despite how they knew she was trapped in the mirror.

flash forward and she's a prisoner on peridot and jasper's ship being interrogated and used to gain information about earth and the gems. she sends out a Terrified message to the gems stating that peridot is coming to earth and she's not alone. she doesn't specify who's with peridot (jasper) but she is clearly afraid and worried for them.

we don't really know what happened on that ship. we don't know how gems interrogate other gems (besides shoving them in a goddamn mirror) or how jasper interrogates other gems. I've got a feeling that being on that ship was not a nice time for lapis though (or peridot, who states that just being on a ship with jasper was Exhausting)

now we're at The Return and Jail Break. in The Return we see that jasper is very aggressive and shoves lapis around, yanking her harshly by the arm and dragging her over when they land on the beach. she is very clearly Not Wanting To Be There and it's shown that she was trying to protect steven ("don't hurt him, he's just a human" and leaving out that steven has rose's gem because it wasn't relevant to the mission and she knew that telling the Strongest Quartz Soldier who Serves The Fucking Diamonds about The Leader of the Crystal Gems, who Fucking Shattered Pink Diamond (or so they thought at the time) is a bad idea)

in jail break she's in a prison cell and is very resigned, terrified of what will happen to her if she escapes and refusing rescue. she has Completely Given Up, simply putting her head down sadly as the ship crashes.

jasper is a bit tired after the crash and the fight, but is still able to stand and doesn't really have any visible bruising or injury. she yells at garnet, saying if she had someone to fuse with, she would have won. she very clearly wants to Fucking Kill All Of Them, including steven (if not outright kill/shatter steven, then at least capture him and bring him to the diamonds, and. well. don't think that'd end well.)

When lapis emerges from the rubble, she is very beat up, bruised, and disoriented. She looks around in a panic and immediately tries to fly away after seeing jasper. and jasper literally plucks her out of the sky while mocking her. she dangles lapis in the air and grabs her face and yells at her to just fuse with her, that the crystal gems are Bad and she should take Revenge.

and well, it's not like lapis had much of a choice.

if she said no, what would've happened? she is being thrown around like a ragdoll by the strongest soldier, the ultimate quartz, who could snap her like a fucking twig if she wanted to. sure, lapis has the Whole Ass Ocean and is definitely up there among the most powerful gems in the entire show, but her powers take time to use, especially if she's not standing directly in/over the ocean. jasper would've seen her trying to use her powers and fucking crushed her. not to mention that lapis, again, is tired, weak, wounded, and probably still a bit dazed from the whole spaceship crashing thing.

so if she said no and didn't fight back, what else could happen? jasper could physically force her to fuse; gems can keep each other trapped in a fusion and it's shown later on in earthlings when jasper fuses with a corrupted gem that Forcing a gem to fuse is also possible. jasper could poof or shatter her; again, this is the Strongest Quartz Soldier and lapis is very much a glass cannon and can't quickly use her powers here.

so what does she do? she turns to jasper and holds out her hand with a grim expression. she doesn't ever explicitly say yes, she's not enthusiastically like "YEAH LET'S DO THIS!"

if given the chance, jasper would crush the gems. in fact, that's exactly what she tries to do the instant malachite forms. so what does lapis do? the only thing she has left to do, of course. she grabs onto malachite and drags them both into the sea, holding them down so jasper can't hurt anyone. she takes the hurt and abuse for them.

i literally cannot envision any possible way that this was lapis' fault. like, she did what she fucking had to. she was coerced into fusing without her consent. jasper was going to Kill steven, the only friend she had in over a thousand years (and possibly her only friend ever; we don't know lapis' past before the mirror, but friendship, at least in the human sense, seems to be a bit strange and foreign to many homeworld gems)

now onto what happened as malachite.

i'm going to point to a specific scene in chille tid, specifically where lapis briefly loses control and jasper emerges.

jasper looks pretty much unscathed. it's clearly taking a bit of effort to drag herself over to steven - lapis is still holding on and trying to drag her back under and regain control of malachite before it's Too Late - but otherwise she seems alright, just a bit tired.

and what does lapis look like when she re-emerges and takes back control?

she erupts from the ground/water/mindscape goop with all her strength, wings spread, and collapses. her skirt is torn and dirty, her hair is messed up, and she's pretty beat up. she is exhausted, as holding them under the ocean is taking All of her strength and energy, and it's implied pretty clearly in this scene that she's being Hurt.

when steven asks lapis to tell him where she is, saying he wants to help her, she refuses, telling him to leave and to just let her do this for him.

it's also shown here that she is beginning to lose her identity ("i'm not lapis anymore. we're malachite now."), something shown before with sugilite and said to happen with unstable fusions.

later on, when jasper finally breaks free and malachite emerges from the ocean, lapis tries in vain one final time to stop jasper from hurting the gems, begging her to stop.

when jasper regains control, she simply says she's impressed and surprised that lapis held out for that long. it honestly sounds like this is all just a game to her, like all that time was Nothing.

flash forward again to after malachite. lapis is shown to have some Trauma from being trapped under the ocean and fused with jasper, shown by her reaction to the lake peridot made and how peridot tells the others that she tries to avoid using the "j-word" (jasper) around lapis.

now, alone at sea. one of my favorite episodes.

lapis states that she's trying to have fun on the trip, but the ocean just reminds her too much of being fused with malachite. she says she misses jasper. lapis lists off reasons why she's horrible and tells steven to just tell her that she is.

this conversation is interrupted by none other than jasper!! who has been following lapis this entire time. lapis is fucking Distressed and Terrified and steven tries to defend her with his shield, to which jasper laughs and tells him that he should be afraid of lapis. she tells lapis that she's a monster, that jasper is the only one who can handle her, that they should fuse again. she shoves steven to the side, cornering lapis on the boat and pressing closer as she backs away. jasper just starts rattling off Classic Abuser Lines like "i've changed" and "it'll be different this time" to try and get lapis to fuse again. she says no, jasper doesn't seem to want to back off, and steven shouts "she said NO!" to which jasper gets mad and tries to shatter him. she lunges for steven before lapis sends her flying into the sky team rocket-style with a water punch.

this whole scene reminds me Very Much of a classic "abuser trying to get their victim to come back" scenario, even featuring lapis with a trauma bond (missing the abusive situation even though she Knows it's bad for her) and lots of guilt, regret, and self-loathing ("i'm horrible. go on, tell me i'm wrong!")

a lot of people take lapis saying she misses jasper and saying that she was horrible to her to be an admission that lapis was the abusive one, but i completely disagree. i feel like it's very distorted through the self-blame and self-hatred lapis feels, as not once does she mention how Much That Fucking Hurt Her Too. it's not until su future that she says that fusion as malachite was a prison akin to the mirror she was trapped in.

did lapis lash out at jasper and take out her anger and pain on her? absolutely. was she abusive? hell no. she was lashing out at her abuser to try and Protect the people she loves. hell, probably to protect herself, too, it was probably a survival thing. lapis was very clearly being abused in that relationship and i don't think lashing out at your abuser and fighting back means that you're the abusive one.

of course, lapis isn't entirely innocent never-did-anything-wrong. but i wouldn't call her abusive, as she has shown guilt and remorse for every major fuck-up and worked to Change and make it better.

her and peridot's relationship started off Bad. she wanted nothing to do with peridot, hardly willing to give her a chance. it's understandable why (that's not an excuse; that was still Messed Up of her to just break all of peridot's shit like that, but it's an understandable action that makes sense for her character and her mental state at the time).

sometime after lapis rescues peridot from the roaming eye, the two of them decide to share the barn and at least Tolerate each other. they make up and become inseparable sometime later off-screen, which i feel speaks Volumes at how lapis realized she fucked up and made an effort to Change. honestly, peridot was perfect for her after malachite - peridot cares about lapis A Lot and does her best to make her feel safe and comfortable, and it's very likely that lapis opened up to her about what happened.

later on when lapis Panicked and took the barn, essentially abandoning peridot and taking their home with her? that was also fucked up. but she regrets this almost Immediately.

she's lonely, up there in space. she comes back to the milky way and lands on the moon, using the old diamond base to watch over her friends on earth and feel like she's back there and like she's not missing anything. she feels bad for leaving the way she did, and wants to go back, but is afraid of what peridot and the others will say.

and she does eventually come back, she and peridot restore their relationship, and they end up moving to little homeworld together after the series.

lapis is Willing to change. she fucks up Because she's traumatized and mentally ill, and it's honestly one of the best portrayals of PTSD I've seen in media and it makes me So Fucking Happy as someone with CPTSD. she acts irrationally, she lashes out, she hurts the people she loves. but she doesn't Want To. she regrets it, she changes, she gets Better.

she feels so Human, honestly. i feel seen, as someone with CPTSD and BPD who also lashes out and acts irrationally and always regrets it and tries to fix it. lapis' trauma didn't make her a "perfect victim," it didn't make her Strong or Good or whatever the hell else people want traumatized people to be. it hardened her, it made her cold and angry and fearful, and i love to see that. i fucking love realistic portrayals of trauma instead of the classic "good and not inconvenient" kind (which is still a way people respond to trauma and i recognize that! i'm not trying to discount those peoples' experiences in any way)

contrasted with jasper, who does Not change. she never really got a full redemption arc; at most she just stopped trying to kill people and only started listening to and respecting steven because he's a Diamond who Fucking Shattered Her.

after malachite, jasper does not try to better herself. she gets worse, if anything. she forces a corrupted gem to fuse with her, which is ultimately her downfall, and remarks that nobody she fuses with wants to stay (i wonder why, jasper. i wonder why.). she kidnaps all of the corrupted gems and jails them in the kindergarten and is Not Very Fucking Nice to them. she's still trying to kill steven and the other crystal gems. she wants Power and she Does Not Care if she has to hurt people to get it.

jasper is abusive, lapis is not. lapis acted toxic and harmful and hurt others, yes, but i wouldn't call her abusive.

okay rant over. i had to let the autism out this turned out longer than i thought it would be jesus i'm sorry for taking over the post akhjsdf

why did people victim blame lapis so much too like omg. like yeah she was a prick and like sure you can argue she was abusive at times that’s not an issue! that is a valid interpretation! but she was also Literally Held Captive And Pressured Into Fusing by jasper like. that’s abuse? she was abused into giving up as a person and lashing out. like you can argue that later on she was also abusive to jasper but she was Literally Basically Forced Into The Situation. y’all can’t handle abuse victims for being toxic due to trauma especially when it’s towards someone who hurt them. else we're not victims and we deserved everything.

#steven universe #tw abuse #sorry for taking over your post i am Very Passionate about this subject #i've got like a hyperfixation (lapis & jasper's relationship/malachite) nested within a hyperfixation (steven universe)

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years ago

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Whatever Katsuki Wants - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!Reader

Warnings: ANGST, violence, blood, cursing, lowkey little yandere Bakugou, smut, toxic relationship

Request: can I get Bakugou comes across a criminal on one of his bad days and he goes straight feral with an insane satisfied smile as he beats the shit out of them till they die. (Dark Ik, sorry😂) but as he beats the man, a video is taken of the scene and instead of posting it the anonymous person sent it to quirkless!FemaleReader. How would that play out?

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Fucking hell!”

Bakugou ran through the dark city chasing an annoying ass criminal. It wasn’t even a villain per say, more like a petty thief wanting to ruin someone’s day. His day. Now usually, the number 2 hero wouldn’t be pursuing this type of crime, but the damn prick ran into a bank, held hostages, and got away with over 5 grand.

The pro was already have a pissy day from the second he woke up. He couldn’t wake up next to his Teddy Bear because you had to visit your parents for something that started before even Katsuki had to wake up, then he burned his breakfast because a damn bird flew into the kitchen window, he was late to work and got put on night patrol, he probably wouldn’t get to see you when he got home before you knocked out because you also had a night shift, and now this.

Every second that passed caused his damn blood to boil. He was mad at....well, existence. Not his, just existence in general. For everything. He was so close to catching this damn bastard that when he finally pounced the guy, he didn’t realize there were footsteps coming his way.

Bakugou pinned the criminal to the ground in an alleyway and completely disregarded his quirk. He needed to take his anger out on something and this poor man happened to be in his grip. Bakugou threw punch after punch, kicked the man in his stomach until he coughed up blood, he stomped on the man’s head, threw him against a wall, etc. He ended it with a strong and fiery blast at the unconscious body. Finally, after 2 minutes of silence, Bakugou began to sinisterly laugh. A psychotic laugh with a crazed look in his eye. He was hunched over with his arms loose as he walked towards the dead man, picking him up by his skull.

“Sorry buddy, you caught me on a bad day,” he laughed out and whispered into the lifeless body’s ear. He threw the body into a pile of trash cans before walking out of the alleyway. When he turned the corner, he took notice of a trembling civilian, holding a camera at him. “The hell?! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DAMN CAMERA?!”

Bakugou barked at the random person with devil eyes before sending a blast to the phone. The person ran away screaming, pissed at the hero for doing that. To be petty, the “extra” (as Bakugou would say) wanted this video to be exposed. Not to the media, this person wasn’t cruel enough to destroy someone else’s career, but he wanted to send it to someone to have the hero learn a lesson.

Now it was no secret that the pro was in a relationship. In an article, it was revealed that the two of you had been together for the past 4 years. With that in mind, the damn hacker found Dynamight’s longtime girlfriend’s number and sent the video her way.

—

At Bakugou’s nice home, his perfect little oblivious girlfriend hummed a tune to herself as she made some spicy curry for her precious Suki. Now it’s not that Y/N was dumb. She was actually very intelligent. But when it came to Katsuki, she was just a cute little “housewife” that loved him.

Flashback

When Bakugou first met you in the grocery market, he couldn’t help but notice your tiny but voluptuous figure, you were struggling to reach a box of cereal until Katsuki came along and helped.

“Here you go, Short Stack. Maybe next time you should ask your mommy to help you reach the high shelves.” He teased with a wink to the nickname.

You looked at the handsome blonde with a blush at first sight but when he teased you, your blush grew more ferocious with a pout and pointed brows. “I don’t need my mom to help me in the grocery store. I’m 22 for God’s sake!” You said, reaching for the box that he now held over his head.

“Hm, woulda said 17.” He teased again. You ignored his jokes and jumped to reach the box and take it out of his hands. You failed multiple times and he still stood tall with a smirk as he looked down at you.

‘Now she’s fucking cute’ he thought to himself. His eyes traveled down to your busty hips and tiny waist, then taking notice of the way your chest bounced around when you jumped and reached for the cereal. ‘Pretty damn sexy too.’

“C’mon little bear. You can do it.” He said with a shit eating grin. You pouted some more and stomped your foot before coming to a realization and began smirking. You dropped to the floor and swooped your legs to kick at his ankles and made him drop to the floor. As he fell, he let go of the box and you caught it midway before turning your back to him. Usually, Bakugou would be a little pissed, but his anger died down at the sight of your juicy ass.

“Yes!” You cheered.

“Woah..” Bakugou said in a trance. You turned to him with a confused look before he quickly hid it with a scowl. You giggled at his place on the floor and stuck out your hand to help him up.

“Sorry, but maybe you should’ve just given me my cereal. Anyway, thanks for the ‘help’ I guess..uh..” you asked, hinting for his name.

“Bakugou.” He answered and you nodded and gave a soft smile before speaking.

“Bakugou.” You said, finishing your previous sentence. “Well, I’ll be off now,”

You began to walk away but felt Bakugou tug on your arm. You looked back at him with another confused look but was only met with a cute smirk.

“Hey, I helped you with that cereal, the least you could do is give me the pretty girl’s name.” He said. You blushed a bit more before giving him a dumb look.

“Who? Me?” You teased.

“Nooo, the old hag at the cash register,” he joked. You both laughed at his comment as you settled with his hold on you, not minding the contact at all.

“Y/N L/N.” You said.

“Alright Y/N L/N, was nice meeting you.” He said with his hands in his pockets while holding a smile. A real smile and not a smirk.

“I know.” You said with a cocky smile that he could only chuckle at. “Was nice meeting you too Bakugou. I’ll see you around,” you said walking away with a waving hand.

As you walked, Bakugou couldn’t help but admire your curvy body and drool at the sight. He didn’t know what it was but something was pulling him to you. He wanted you. He needed you. That little interaction was not enough. It’s not even that he wanted to fuck. Sure you had a banging body, but your playful self caught his interest. He wanted your mind, body, and soul. He wanted to make you his.

Through the help of technology and his access to police files and hero reports, he was able to find your name, address, where you worked, and all that. He worked hard to “coincidentally” run into you constantly, up until the point where you two became quite acquainted. You eventually asked him to hang out (as friends) and that’s where the relationship grew. A few months had passed before Bakugou successfully asked you on a date, and that’s when you both found love within each other. Or more so, you found love in him. He loved you at first sight and he knew it for a fact.

After a year of dating, Bakugou asked you to move in with him and you of course said yes. Once settled in, he worked even harder to constantly fuck you stupid, break you down but build you up at the same time. He made it clear he was in charge and you were his little toy. A toy he loved with his entire being, but still a toy.

You became his dumb little girl. You had a job but Katsuki encouraged you to not work so much. “I don’t want you to raise a finger pretty girl. Just let Daddy take care of you,” he would say as he bounced you on his cock.

You had a little dance hobby that Katsuki also encouraged you to take a break from. “You don’t need to put on a show for anybody else but me, Princess. Daddy’ll give you all the attention you want.” He’d say as he kissed your cheek and finger you in front of a mirror.

You used to have friends before Bakugou found out they were trying to warn you of his abrasive behavior. Growing pissed at that, he convinced you they were against you and were no good for you.

“Those little friends of yours could never make you feel as good as I do, baby. They’re no good for you. They just want us to be apart. They’re jealous. They want you to leave me, but you don’t want that, right princess?”

“N-No daddy!”

“That’s right princess. You definitely don’t wanna leave me. Because no would could take care of you like I do, right? No one could. Nobody but me,” he would say as he pounded into you and whispered in your ear.

Eventually, Katsuki became your whole life. You would work one day a week so that you had more time for Katsuki. You would wake up next to him and cuddle with him until he had to leave for work. You would clean the house and cook for him, and you would wait for him to come home during the late hours of the night so you could smother him with love. Often times, you guys would fuck. Matter of fact, the day you first moved in, you Christened every place and piece of furniture in his house. It was the same routine that you learned to love. Wake up, cuddle, clean, cook, love, fuck.

Being Katsuki’s precious dumb baby girl, he couldn’t let his baby bear see all the damage he does as a hero. Oh no, that would scare you way too much. Your precious little self wouldn’t be able to handle it. He would tell you he was a pro hero, the number 2 hero, saving lives, and he was satisfied every time he saw the sparkle in your eyes as you looked at your hero boyfriend with a proud look. He never told you about the dark side of hero work though. The bloodshed, the kills, the deaths. Horrid things your sweet baby mind wouldn’t be able to take. He would keep his princess oblivious to the terrible things he has to do as a hero and you being his dumb little bear listened when he said you wouldn’t be able to find any videos of him. Why bother to check if he was right? Your Katsuki would never lie to you. He would never do wrong by you. All and all, Katsuki can’t risk her getting scared and leaving.

That was until....

—

Ding!

You were busy finishing up dinner when your phone went off. You looked down to the screen to see a random number had sent you a video. From the preview of the video on the banner, you took notice of that easily recognizable tuff of spiky blonde hair. You grew excited at the small sight of your boyfriend and swooned before you watched the video.

After you pressed play, your smile remained as you watched your boyfriend. However, as the video went on, your smile slowly dropped and became replaced with an open mouth. Your eyes became filled with fear as you watched your “sweet” boyfriend ruthlessly murder a man in an alleyway. You listened to his crazy laugh and felt your heart skip a few beats. Your mouth became dry and your palms grew sweaty as the video continued to install fear in you. Finally, your boyfriend threw the dead body into a pile of trash cans before you saw him look to the camera with those eyes. Those ruby gems that you used to love turned into blood drops as he gave the camera a scary glare. He barked at the man behind the camera before aiming a blast his way. The blast came at the camera and made you jump as it felt like the attack was going to hit you. You flinched and dropped your phone as the video finished and your breath grew heavy as you began to sweat and look around.

You immediately ran to your shared bedroom and pulled out your laptop. Katsuki always said you would never find anything about Dynamight online, but all you had to do was type in his name to find multiple videos of his deathly battles. You watched countless recordings of him mercilessly killing people left and right with his quirk and bare hands. Your body began to shake as your pupils dilated with fear. After a terribly gruesome fight video, you threw your device aside in fear and ran into the living room. You settled the slightest bit before growing nervous once more. All around the house were pictures of you and Katsuki. He was everywhere in the house. And those dangerously red eyes followed you everywhere. You began to hyperventilate until the sound of jingling keys invaded your ears.

You looked at the door in fear and after a few seconds, the main man walked in. Katsuki Bakugou. He seemed exhausted but once he took sight of you, he visibly became at ease.

—

Bakugou walked into the door, pissed off and tired as fuck. Luckily, that all changed when he noticed his precious Teddy Bear in the living room. He assumed you came to greet him again like you always did and he smiled at that.

“K-Katsuki! Hi..” you nervously said but Bakugou was too intoxicated with you to even notice. He walked to you with a smile and wrapped his arms around your waist before peppering your face in sweet kisses. You flinched due to his touch but Bakugou just assumed it was because of his stronger caramel scent. He did use his quirk a lot today after all.

“Hi baby,” he said. He didn’t stop his kisses as he spoke in between them. “Had such a bad day this mornin’.....was so upset......missed you a lot baby...did you miss me?”

“Mm..y-yes.” You once again said in fear. You definitely missed him throughout the day, but now with this new information, you wanted nothing more than to get away from him. Bakugou moved his kisses to your lips and placed a long, loving one on you. He had his eyes shut and so did you, but his were shut in content and yours were scrunched in fear. The entire time, you could feel your rapid heart rate pulse all throughout your body.

Bakugou started a heavy make out session with you as his hands traveled to the swell of your ass and gave it a grip and smack. He spoke to you throughout the kiss and kept his lips hovering when he spoke before diving right back into it. “Not my best day today......but you can make it better, right baby.....you wanna help Daddy feel better?”

“Mm!” You didn’t say yes but you couldn’t say no either. You didn’t know how to. Not when it came to Katsuki. At the cute little sound, Bakugou picked you up and placed you down on the couch, too eager to dive into you right away.

He placed you on the wide couch and began grabbing at your body. Your tiny waist, your curvy hips, your pretty titties. That was when he finally felt you tense up. A few nervous thoughts infiltrated his mind. Did you not want this? You never said no to him though. What was going on? He pushed those thoughts away as he continued. Maybe you were just extra sensitive today. Things were starting to change when he moved his hand down into your panties and you tried to squirm away from him.

“Baby?” He asked you as he separated from your lips and gave you a confused puppy look. He finally took notice of your nervousness and looked at you with worry. “You okay, princess?”

“Umm, yeah! I’m-..I’m okay it’s just, you don’t wanna take a shower before we do anything?” You asked as an excuse. Bakugou chuckled and a few of his nerves began to settle.

“C’mon princess, I know I just got off of work but it’s always just smoke and caramel with me. Besides you love it, I know you do.” He said and smirked as he began to lick at your neck. You nervously laugh and pushed on his chest to back him up.

“Aha, yeah, but don’t you wanna be a little more comfortable?” You asked again.

“I’m already comfortable right here. If anything, I’d be really comfortable if we were both bare already.” He said against your neck again. You pushed him off again and placed a soft hand on his cheek while giving him the sweetest smile as you spoke.

“Please love, for me?” You asked. You watched as Bakugou gave an exasperated sigh with a smile and roll of his eyes before leaning down and giving you a sweet peck.

“For you.” He said before pecking your cheek. “Everything for you, baby.” He said and finally got up to go wash up.

Once he was out of sight you released a relieved sigh. With him gone, you felt yourself began to shake again as you crowded into a corner on the couch and held yourself. You covered your mouth as you began to silently cry and sob. That-..that killer was so close to you. He was pressed against you. His once loving and comforting presence now became dangerous and scary. You didn’t know if you could take it.

—

As Katsuki walked up the stairs to the master bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel the nerves begin to bubble back up again. Why were you acting so...disobedient? It kind of irritated the blonde but he settled nonetheless. Maybe you were just having an off day. Bakugou walked right into the room and went straight for the shower after tossing his phone on the bed. The sooner he washed up, the sooner he could get to ravish you. He was quickly in and out of the shower and once he went back into the room, he threw on a pair of Gray sweats. Before leaving, Bakugou went to grab his phone but noticed your laptop opened. He looked to the screen in curiosity and felt his heart drop to his stomach once he saw what he did.

‘PRO-HERO DYNAMIGHT’S MOST LETHAL ATTACKS’ was the video you were watching. Bakugou took notice of the setting and remembered that battle. The battle where he grabbed a villain by their neck and blasted off into the sky before using an explosion to hurl them down to the ground again, killing them in the end.

Why the hell were you watching this? How the hell did you find this?! Why did you even think of looking for this video?! Bakugou felt his heart rate increase as his breath became huffs of frustration. His eyes grew fierce as he grabbed the laptop and ran downstairs. Once he walked in, he saw you cornered in the couch, hugging your knees with your head down. “Y/N!”

You immediately looked up when your boyfriend called your name. He finally saw your teary eyes and feared face when you looked to him. Then it finally clicked. This is why you were acting so off. You found him. You found the other side of him. The Katsuki you knew was sweet, teasing, loving, and a romantic. The Katsuki he hid from you was ruthless, violent, feral, and borderline insane. And you were acting off because you finally found out.

“Mind telling me what the fuck this is?!” He shouted. Now this wouldn’t be the first time Katsuki’s yelled at you. While he was in the process of breaking you down, he had to yell to let you know who was in charge. It’s not like he was heartless though, he hated it every time you forced his hand and made him yell at you. He felt so guilty and made sure to cater to your every need after he would freak out on you. Thankfully, you were a quick learner and it’s been years since you’ve gotten reprimanded by him.

You stood to your feet to try and defend yourself and get a grip. “K-Katsuki! I-..I swear it’s nothing! I wasn’t doing anything!”

“You’re gonna fucking lie to me now, Y/N?! Why the hell did you go and look for this video?” He fiercely asked. You remained silent as you were terrified and just trembled at you chewed at your lip. “ANSWER ME!”

“I-...Someone-..Somebody sent me a video...of you...and what you did tonight.” You hesitantly said. Bakugou slammed to your laptop shut and threw it to a wall, destroying it in the process.

“Show me the video.” He demanded. You were still shaking as you looked to him in fear and shock at what he just did. “NOW!”

You scrambled to get your phone and give it to Katsuki. He watched the video with a numb expression but his grip on the phone gave away all his emotions of anger and fury. Once the video was done, he looked at you with an insane smirk. You stared at him in fear as you watched his every move and right then and there he crushed your phone in his hand.

“K-Katsuki!” You shouted as you looked to your now destroyed devices. He dusted off his hands and walked to you. You tensed up at his approach and when he raised a hand to cup your cheek gently, he felt the way you shook in extreme terror.

“It’s okay, baby. You can tell me whatever you’re thinking right now. I won’t get mad.” He softly said with a smile. He was so close to you now. His hand was caressing your face oh so sweetly that it made you believe him the slightest bit. You don’t know if it was love or fear that caused you to tell him but you did.

“I-..I’m..I’m scared of you Katsuki.” You said with tears in your eyes. Katsuki just continued to softly stroke your face with his gentle smile as he nodded his head and encouraged you to go on. “You didn’t tell me..about anything of that. You told me you saved people..but you were..killing them.”

“It’s how I have to save people baby. People who become too dangerous need to be put down. It’s my job baby, you understand, don’t you?” He asked with his gentle tone. You shook your head as he still held it softly.

“No..I- I don’t.” You looked at Katsuki with hurt eyes and you took a small breath before you boldy said the next words. “I-..I think we should take a break.”

At that, Katsuki tensed up again. His eyes went wide for a second and his smile dropped before he shook his head and the kind eyes and warm smile returned. He stared at you for what felt like forever before his sweet face turned into a scary look and his hand quickly wrapped around your neck to put you into a small choke hold. Bakugou flipped you onto the couch and pinned you there. You began to scream and squirm but he covered your mouth and held you down with his legs to keep you steady.

“Careful Teddy Bear,” he said with a maniacal look, “shout and scream too much and you might just lose your breath,” he said and tightened his hold the slightest bit. “And we wouldn’t want that now, would we?”

You began to silently sob as his hand covered your mouth and you stopped moving under his hold. You nodded your head as tears began to spill down your face. Katsuki pouted at you before leaning down to lick away a tear. “Awe, don’t cry baby. There’s nothing to be scared off.”

At his words, your eyes grew angry and you bit his hand to remove it. He shouted at the bite and removed his hand as he looked down at you in anger. “You! That’s what I’m scared of Katsuki!” You said with anger and sadness.

Bakugou didn’t take too kindly to that and clenched his fist before he smacked your face. Your head turned to the side at the hard slap as you gasped at the contact. Bakugou grabbed your face with his large hand and made you face him.

“Dirty fucking bitch. You fucking love getting smacked by me don’t you?” He said with a crazed look. “Listen to me very carefully Y/N. I’ve loved you since I first laid my fucking eyes on you. So you’re not allowed to leave me. Understand?” He asked. You began to squirm again and he smacked you again to get you to stop. “ENOUGH OF THAT! You’re not leaving me Y/N. If you run, I’ll find you again the same way I did in the beginning. If you hit me, I’ll have to punish you. You remember all your punishments, don’t you? So stop fighting it. You love me and I love you. We’re not splitting up.”

You narrowed your eyes at Bakugou before spitting on his face. His eyes grew feral as his hold returned to your neck to give it a squeeze. You could still breath..but barely. “Answer me this baby. Answer wrong though and I’ll do what has to be done. Do you want to leave me?”

You looked at his eyes to find any hints of danger. Sadly, everything about this whole situation screamed danger. You still had love for Katsuki, you knew you did, but this was a whole different level. You didn’t know who this was. “.....Yes.”

“Wrong answer.”

With that, Bakugou began to rip your clothes off along with his own. You watched in fear as he did everything. The entire time, he had this excited grin on his face with insane eyes.

“K-Katsuki! What are yo-“ before you could finish, Bakugou had taken your panties and used them as a gag for you. He shoved them in your mouth and you made muffled sounds. You were both now completely bare on the couch, just like he wanted when he first came home.

“Relax baby,” he said before kissing your cheek softly as he pulled you to him. “I’m gonna make you feel so good..I’m gonna do something so nice that you’ll never want to leave.”

You shook your head with tears in your eyes. You tried push him away but he pulled your hands down. “Stop that. I’m not a heartless monster baby. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

He grabbed both your hands and pinned them above your head in the couch. Both your tiny hands were able to be held by his one giant palm as his other hand traveled to your lower region and began rubbing soft circles on your clit. You arched your back at the pleasant feeling. As much as you didn’t want this, as much as you wanted to run away and leave, your body couldn’t deny the pleasure he gave you. He knew you inside and out. He was able to break you from a single touch.

“Feel good?” He asked with a smirk. You shook your head in disagreement. His smirk fell into a determined frown. He knew you didn’t want this now but he would make sure you would soon enough. His movements picked up speed and your legs began to shake. Katsuki finally shoved two fingers in, causing you to shriek with the muffled sound.

His pumps gave no hesitation with their speed as they went in hard and fast. You were practically screaming behind the panties once he gave in another 2 fingers. His thumb played with your clit as he continued to whisper dirty things into your ear.

“My little slut really thought she could leave me? Huh? Cant you hear the sounds your pretty pussy is making. Your mouth may say you don’t want me but your mind and body says otherwise.” With that he slipped in his thumb and you’ve never felt so full. You had his entire fist pumping in and out of you as your felt your legs growing weak. “Fuck baby, look at you. Taking my fist so well. Feel good? Feel full? Hm?”

This time, you moaned in agreement. You couldn’t help it. This was going to be your last time with Katsuki, might as well make it last. However, that was never Bakugou’s plan, no. He loves you too much to let you go. You aren’t leaving him and he’s making sure of it.

As he continued, he felt you tighten around his fist. He smiled once again and sped up his movements. “C’mon baby, let me hear you.” He leaned down and pulled the panties out of your mouth with his teeth. He tossed them aside and allowed you to voice your thoughts.

“F-Fuck Katsuki! M-More! Please!” You begged. He only looked down at you with wide eyes and a grin.

“More? What more could I give you baby?” He said, leaving down to you. “Tell me what you want Y/N.”

“I-...I-“

“You- you- you what teddy bear? Tell me. Do you want..me to stop?” He teased.

“N-No!” You cried out.

“Do you want me to slow down?” He asked.

“No!”

“Then? What do you want, baby?” He asked.

“Mm! I- I want you to fuck me Katsuki! Please! Fuck me with your cock!” You cried out and Bakugou’s fist came to a stop.

“Good girl.” He then pulled out his fist and quickly replaced it with his dick. You both cried out in euphoria. He wasted no time in ramming into you, using a quick speed. He held onto your hips as you velvet walls swallowed him in. “S-Shit baby! Fuck, after all that you’re still so- fuck! So fucking tight.”

His fingertips had a grip on your hips that was sure to leave bruises. The way he was pounding into you caused your breast to bounce and dance right in front of him. Not that it wasn’t anything Katsuki hasn’t seen before, but it’s the fact that he loves the scene so much. He licked his lips at the sight of your voluptuous mounds before taking one into his mouth. The feeling of his teeth sinking in had you gasping and your hands found way into his hair, pulling him in closer.

“K-Katsuki!” You cried out. He smirked at the sound and released you from his mouth.

“You don’t even know how good you look. How good you will look when I knock you up and fill you with my kids.” He said against your bare skin. This made your eyes pop as you looked at him in fear.

“W-what?! No! Katsuki! Please, I don’t want thi-“

“Shut the fuck up!” He screamed over you. He placed his hand around your neck as his cock completely took over you. “Yes you do! Don’t you remember baby? You always talked about starting a family with me. Now you can have it!”

“K-Katsuki..please! Please stop, this is rape!” You urgently whimpered. Bakugou merely ignored your cry as he continued his motions.

“I said, SHUT THE FUCK UP! It’s not rape if you enjoy it baby.” He said in response. He continued to touch you in the dirtiest of ways, bringing quiet moans out of you no matter how hard you tried to fight it.

“No! I don’t want it anymore! I don’t want you Katsuki!” You cried. Tears now flowed down your face in fear. You’ve always wanted a family with him. But that was before you knew how he truly was. Your words only angered Katsuki and so he punished you with a harsh smack to the face. Your head turned to the side as you gasped at the stinging feeling that almost felt like pleasure in a way.

“I’m gonna give you brat, and you’re gonna stay. You’re gonna stay with me and we’re gonna be a happy family! Because I love you and I know you love me.” He said. Your legs were growing weak as his relentless thrusts never stopped.

“P-Please. Please, I’ll stay. But I don’t want this. Not now.” You whimpered. At your soft voice, Bakugou slowed down the pace but his hard thrusts continued.

“Sorry baby, but I want this. I’ve spoiled you for too long. I give you everything under the sun and you reward me by trying to leave. Especially over such a small instance? I don’t think so. The least you could do for me is give me the family I want with you. Don’t you agree?” He sweetly said with malice intent.

You only continued your whimpers as you allowed him to do as he pleased. You weren’t getting out of this. Katsuki gets whatever Katsuki wants. If he wanted to fuck his child into you, he was going to do so, one way or another. Katsuki allowed his moans to fill the room as the once sweet sound of skin slapping grew louder and louder, coming faster and faster. Eventually, you reached your release and even squirted all over Katsuki’s chest. He very much enjoyed that and it brought him closer to his climax. He kept to his word and filled you up to the brim. You both threw your head backs and cried out in ecstasy.

Once he was done, Katsuki remained inside of you as he laid on top of you. He peppered your face in kisses as you continued to make soft sounds. You both remained on the couch for some time before he pulled out and walked to the kitchen to get a rag and clean you and himself up. Once done, he picked you up and brought you to the bedroom where he placed you down under the sheets and joined you. He cuddled with you in bed feeling happy and joyous while your head was stuck in thought.

‘If his plan worked, I’ll be a mother soon. There’ll be a baby growing inside of me.’ You silently thought. Bakugou snapped you out of your thoughts with a kiss on your lips before he began speaking.

“..I know what you saw on the footage was scary, but that’s not the only part of me. I’ve shown you every other me. The me that loves you and wants to be with you forever, Y/N.” He said and picked up your hand to give your knuckles a kiss.

“....I understand that your job isn’t the purest. I understand that sometimes, a life will be lost. But the video that was sent to me, showed you killing a petty robber. You took it too far.” You argued quietly.

“Tch. Whatever. He deserved it anyway-“

“And it’s not only that, but you’re the reason why I have no friends, no job, no money, no family, no nothing. In the beginning, it was amazing because I thought I knew you. But now, I’m just scared of you Katsuki and I have no one else to go to.” You began to get choked up. This was the man you loved but you felt like you didn’t know him anymore. Right now, in your eyes, he was a killer. A scary monster.

“If you left me, who would you go to baby? You’re absolutely right. You have no friends. No job. No home. You have nobody but me. You need me. Say it.” He demanded. You remained quiet to rebel against his wishes until he took hold of your face and squeezed it tight. To stop the pain, you forced the words out.

“I-...I need you!” With that, he released his hold on you and his hand rested on your cheek. He stared into your eyes and you looked at him with the sad and confused look you had on ever since he came home.

“I love you Y/N. Do you still love me?” He asked.

“......I do.” You said. A smile grew on his face.

“Then we can make this work,” he said and pulled you into his chest, holding you tight. You whimpered into his chest but nonetheless held onto him tight as well. You did love him. You knew you did. But you didn’t love who he truly was. Or at least, what part of him was. A killer. A murderer.

He was right though. You had nowhere else to go. Katsuki really was your everything. And so, you were going to allow this relationship to go on. His child will come from you and you will start a family with him. Whether you want it to happen or not. As long as he wants it, it’ll happen.

Whatever Katsuki wants.

A/N: THE ENDING IS SO RUSHED AND HORRIBLE! IM SORRY!

Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04

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