#ik a lot of ppl feel its divisive but

[theotherseapancakes]

Man. I really need to go finish my modded gay awakening playthru of FEA asap so I can be triple sure what im doing but tbh at this point i think this AU is just whatever the fuck I want and I do not care. However it matters to me from a writing sense OTOH FEH canonizes the most insane shit. like at this point i could just say there’s a version of anything in Askr and literally they’d be like sure why not????? who cares

[lostandfem]

hhhh i feel like we agree on so much i just. im “TIF” ig, more specifically FTMTFTMTFT?? and w confirmed prenatal androgenization + dissociative disorder linked to onset of puberty. i have literally tried everything i even did IV ketamine treatments, electroshock therapy. testosterone is the only thing that made me feel like i wasn’t. playing the sims. trying to live from the inside out. idk how to even explain it. if u have dysphoria ykwim probably. the only other times ive ever felt ok were when i was starving myself to the point of producing little to no sex hormones. i feel like a lot of ppl— especially with endocrine-disrupting chemicals becoming more of an issue— are struggling with degrees of genuine sex based dysphoria from prenatal EDC exposure. ik that sounds conspiracy-y but the WHO even released a study recently linking them to GD and intersex conditions. anyway i havent even socially transitioned this time because ive realized idc about what i’m seen as or called i simply just. know in my head what my body should look like. i was also intersex and forced on fem hormones at puberty so maybe its related to that but. i wish radfem spaces were less hateful towards transmasc female ppl. the rhetoric abt our bodies (and in turn abt unmodified intersex bodies bc i wouldn’t have been feminized originally without hormones) is really gross and just shows a deep seated hatred of sex non conforming females and as much as i recognize and hate the biosexism of amab trans ppl and the overall trans community. i just cant feel safe as an intersex snc female so its just like. No Community For Me, i’m too trans for the terfs and too terfy for the transes. sorry i didn’t mean to rant its just. the climate is so divisive rn n im struggling with being radfem but also like. clearly having biosex dysphoria that i have tried literally everything to eradicate. you dont have to publish this i simply needed to tell someone who would maybe get it and you seem to

i did these asks out of order and idk if youre the same person as the other ones rip. but yeah i hate teh “detrans people are mutilated” stuff too. ideologically i know radfems are supposed to support all females regardless of the state of their bodies, but i think youre right that a lot of them take the altered thing to mean youre an impure female. im really sorry you were forced on hormones, i really am. its hard to make peace with knowing that your body was altered when you wish it wasnt. intersex people deserve at least a choice in the matter, not that stuff being forced on them. they deserve to feel the sex dysphoria/dysmorphia without it being an inherently gendered experience too.

being in-between ideologically is rough. but sometimes its kinda necessary. belonging to yourself is important, so if you dont feel like you can belong to any one group, at least stand by your beliefs 💜

[planeswalker-aurora]

okay hear me out chainsaw man readers: denji & kobeni should end up together in the end. (spoilers duh) ik it sounds crazy but hear me out: at the core of their characters, they're extremely similar. in the end they both just want to be seen for who they are, and not just as some means to an end. denji being a poor orphan who never had a family until makima "made one" for him only to rip it away & kobeni being the opposite who grew up in a large poor family, except that family never cared ab her unless she was bringing in money for them, neither of them really got to have that true family feel.

the convo in ch 92 between them shows that kobeni actually understands how denji feels in wanting to just live a kind of normal life, and it sticks out a lot more w them being the only people from div 4 (aside from kishibe) to have survived makima. kobeni talks ab how she doesnt see a life truly living for yourself as anything more than a dream tho, but then right after that denji hears the news on tv ab csm and decides "fuck it, I'll do whatever I have to to live the life I've wanted." in the battle with reze denji screams ab how everyone only cares ab csm's heart, and that no one cares ab his own personality, but the convo in ch 92 shows that kobeni is one of the few characters who is actually able to see denji for who he is, and not just as chainsaw man. & then in ch 89 when makima is using the media to make the fear of chainsaw man disappear to make him weaker, she specifically singles out kobeni in saying that her fear of him is weakening. it makes sense that everyone's else's fear of csm is disappearing bc of the media, but kobeni spent a few of the previous chapters basically being kidnapped by csm. so yeah she did see csm trying to defeat makima who has outed herself as straight evil, but why would her being kidnapped and dragged around by csm make her fear lessen? I think its bc in those ch's while kobeni isnt able to understand what denji is thinking, the reader knows that its csm trying to fulfill the dreams that denjis always had (eating tasty food, taking a girl out on a date, all stuff that normal ppl would casually do), & I think that has more to do w why makima specifically says kobeni's fear of csm is lessening, despite her not seeing all the media propaganda plus her being literally the most easily scared person in the whole manga. not to mention that in the division 4 drinking party (yes w the the barf scene) when introducing everyone to each other, kobeni and denji both say that one of their hobbies is eating food.

long story short, I think they understand each other really well w/o knowing it and I think it would be great if they ended up together. plus then it would still hold true that every girl denji has liked has wanted to kill him at one point lol