#ignoring how bad this looks on the app 🙈

[hayscodeviolation]

SHADOW OF A DOUBT (1943) dir. Alfred Hitchcock

[chejuu]

20 questions for writers

thank you @wingdingery for the tag and excuse to self-indulgently talk about myself <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 17 on cheju, then 11 more on my various and sundry accounts 🫣

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 73,122 on cheju, a total of 110,145

3. what fandoms do you write for? nightwing + some original work as of late + various fandoms i used to be in that people request in fic exchanges

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos? like two days ago bad desire just surpassed the kudos of a ten-year-old sansa/margaery fic i published on my old account. wow! please ignore that i was writing smut at 16

setting aside my other accounts, then it’s diesis (smut), listen to teeth (smut), sex, lies, and audiotape (mafia au. also smut), and exactly what it looks like (silly identity porn crack)

5. do you respond to comments? always!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? down together leaves it open but probably fits the bill, in that the sex makes things significantly worse between slade and dick

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Rescued Slut Thanks His Studly Savior is established relationship sladick fluff (if pure smut can be fluff i guess) which i thought i would never write so maybe that. or better now, but it's about theater camp (2023) which is already a feel-good comedy movie to begin with

8. do you get hate on fics? not yet. i feel like it's a rite of passage, tho. quick someone send me hate

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind? it’s like... all i do

10. do you write crossovers? no, but never saying never!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i think i’d be too embarrassed

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? gotta be drarry (sorry sladick)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? i plan to finish all my wips eventually, even the unpublished ones! at least any that have made it out of the notes app and into a word doc. the only one that maaay not make it is a recursive fic (author permission granted!) based on a popular sladick story—i’m a bit nervous about not living up to the original 🙈

16. What are your writing strengths? character voice, i think, and banter in particular. sexual tension, smut. so i've been told!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i hardly write anything longer than a single scene, let alone more than one chapter. the one time i've given it an earnest go, i've gotten so caught up in the weeds that i haven't updated in months T_T

i'd also like to get better at atmosphere. not so much descriptions of the setting, more like... creating a distinctive tone through detail, metaphor, word choice. sometimes i feel like unless i'm writing a very particular setting, the tone is just. nonexistent?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i honestly have zero thoughts

19. First fandom you wrote for? harry potter when was 14. wow it even has an A/N and everything

20. Favourite fic you've written? i think it’s bad desire so i’m glad the people agree hahah 

-

tagging @lordwisteria @roipecheur @mattdillon @thesubtextis @ontheropesss !

[pedroschka]

your one of my fave joe writers so here’s some prompts I’d love to see you work your ✨magic✨ on, ignore / do whatever just some ideas👀🙈

[ ] joe and reader going on a date to the aquarium? ✨✨✨

- [ ] I’m sure we’ve all seen that post from spain(?!) where joe brought everyone a round of shots and set a timer… but what about a blurb / imagine of that, but reader doesn’t drink OR OR there’s only one slice of lime/lemon left and two shots 👀👀

- [ ] Single mum reader x joe, in the middle of a date and the sitter calls as there’s an emergency👀👀👀

Dating app dilemma

Joseph Quinn x single!mum reader

A/n: ahh sorry it took me a while but I chose the third one, hope you like it! <3

Swiping left, left, left, hm not so bad...right, left again. Passing weird selfie poses, pictures with their pets...Where you would rather pick the pet, group pictures, pictures without their face on it, or the last category, simply not your type. Dating app dilemma.

Honestly, you didn't even know what you were looking for, after the first few minutes of swiping you knew that a Henry Cavill doppelganger was out of discussion. You just knew that after five years of being single and a growing collection inside your bedside table that it just wasn't enough anymore to soothe the aching feeling, you needed to get laid. You needed skin-to-skin. you needed intimacy with another person and not just five minutes alone with yourself and then rushing to pick up your daughter from school. So dating app it is.

After a little debate with yourself, while creating your profile and the question popping up if you're having children already you decided against it, it shouldn't matter if you were a single mum, it was just sex right? one night and never seeing each other again so why bother. this wasn't about her and you weren't interested in answering questions about her to total strangers. This was all about you.

It's easy to forget about yourself and your own needs when you're busy looking after another tiny human who is fully depending on you and your love and care. But now she's six and just started school, making friends, and rather wants to hang out with them after school and do sleepovers instead of spending her time with her mum. And that's okay. But you forgot how lonely it can get when coming home to an empty house and spending the night alone in your bed without a body to cuddle with.

After another few left swipes, your thump stills over the next profile. Joseph / 28 / actor. You scrolled through his pictures, him casually sitting with friends, drinking. A beany on his head, brown curls peaking out under it, smiling cheekily into the camera. the second with him, on the beach, shirtless, with sunglasses perched on his head and squinting into the camera. A good mixture between ordinary-looking but also hot and sweet British guy. The best one so far. His interests are nothing special though, reading, music, meeting friends, and going to theaters. But good enough to give it a try.

Taking the chance you decided to write him right away, luckily it was Friday so your daughter is gonna be with her friend until Saturday night, which means a nearly full day for you.

" hi, fancy a coffee tomorrow, see how it goes?"

Now it's on him to answer.

Luckily for both of you, you received a match half an hour later and his answer with suggestions for whereabouts and time. Perfect.

---

After getting off the phone with your daughter, just checking in on how it's going you started to make yourself ready for your date, could you even call it a date?

Joe and you agreed on meeting in a cafe luckily just a few walking minutes away from your home and you would lie to yourself if you would say you were not nervous, you couldn't remember when the last time was when you rummaged through your closet, changing your outfit over five times, angry with yourself for not owning anything near sexy, wardrobe full of comfy clothes. Burning yourself on your curling iron because in your head you already were ten steps ahead, rethinking your conversation topics because sadly, you can't have a one-night stand with a total stranger without having to talk to him first. Cleaning your flat, hiding everything that screams "here lives a child", and even making your bed even though you know you have to do it again after (hopefully) having sex in it. You were a mess to put it lightly.

As you arrived you quickly searched over the few guests hoping to still recognize him. A man is sitting in the right corner, sunglasses perched on his head full of tousled brown curls, a brown shirt with the last button ignored, and a necklace around his neck. Yep, that's him.

Walking straight up to him, he eventually lifted his head and after a few seconds he recognised you, a shy smile spreading across his lips as he stood up to greet you with a hug

A bit taken by surprise by this but also relieved that he made the decision for you on how to greet each other. Just the small touch seems to decrease your nerves on a more pleasant level where you don't feel like throwing up any second anymore.

You both sat down across from each other and you felt like you had been thrown back into your last job interview. His big brown eyes meet yours and create the most intense eye contact you only knew from when your daughter was still a newborn and kept staring at you with her big owlish eyes full of curiosity. But instead of melting into a puddle out of pure love you now stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to think of anything to sell yourself just right but your mind is clouded with anxiety and your fight-or-flight response is kicking in and you're ready to flee.

" So are we ready to order?"

His question is simple but still manage to overwhelm you

"Oh…yeah yeah sure "

Your whole appearance has to come off as very uncomfortable and just miserable because his next words made you look at him horrified

"Oh man, this is not how you imagined this, is it? Am I looking worse in real life?"

"Wha…no of course not! I'm so sorry! I'm not been on a date for a long time, to be honest between the guy with the picture of him and his dog with matching sunglasses and the other guy who asked me if I was more of a cheese or a ham kinda girl you are a jackpot already!" You panic, do you seriously fucked this all up in under five minutes because of your own body language betraying you?

Before you can spiral even more in self-pity you hear a deep cackle, oh he's laughing. it was a joke.

" I feel flattered, that's some serious competition I got here! I'm so glad you chose me!" he touched his chest in fake surprise

You giggled at his silliness, thankful that he was trying to lose up this whole situation and creating a comfortable atmosphere for both of you.

"But really, cheese or ham?" He raised one comical eyebrow, tilting his head a little, and looked at you expectantly making you giggle again

"I'm vegan so neither"

"Oh good to know! What do you usually order instead of normal coffee? Maybe I could give it a try " his entire demeanor changes instantly again, and he looks genuinely interested with his arms on the table, leaning forward.

Surprised by his unbiased reaction, not being used to not having to explain yourself or start a discussion over your chosen lifestyle you give him a grateful smile

" You usually can just ask for any non-dairy milk for your coffee but when I'm feeling extra fancy I like to order a vegan whipped coffee, that's basically just coffee and coconut sugar whisked together until it's super fluffy on top of any non-dairy milk, so it kinda looks like a caramel turd floating around" instantly cringing at your description for it you hide your face behind your hands " I...I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to compare food with poop I'm sorry "

"No, it sounds delicious! I think I'm gonna order the caramel turd " he starts laughing with you, still not taking his eyes off you. Giving you his full undivided attention like you are the only person that matters right now.

You can't remember the last time you laughed so much, Joe surprised you with one silly question or bad joke after another, at one point even imitating accents while reading the dishes on the menu, making you choke on your coffee which ended with him tapping you on the back and handing you a napkin to dry your teary eyes all while still giggling.

Right in the middle of him telling you the random story of how he got the little scar on his forehead you got interrupted by your phone ringing, seeing your friend's name on the display where your daughter is staying right now, You grimaced, signaling him that you're sorry but have to take it.

" What's going on?" You already have a bad feeling about this ,why else would she call

" I'm so sorry to bother but she has thrown up and is feeling a bit sick, I think It would be better if you could pick her up?"

" Yes yes of course" you looked at Joseph, who pretends to not listen to your call and inspected the menu with great interest " give me 20 minutes " at this he locks eyes with you and you could see his disappointment, guilt creeping up inside of you " thank you, bye!" You ended the call, closed your eyes frustrated, and taking a deep breath before looking at Joe again

"I'm so sorry but something really important came up and I really have to go" you're already standing up and collecting your bag, unbelievably uncomfortable and feeling like the rudest person having to cut it all off like this with no explanation for him.

"Oh uhm…yeah ok" he stood up too, looking bummed and equally unsure of how to act now "bye… I guess?"

"But it was really nice meeting you…bye" quickly turning towards the door, leaving Joe standing in front of two unfinished cups of coffee with hanging shoulders and multiple questions swimming around his head, asking himself if he did something wrong, maybe was too intrusive. Did you used one of those fake calls to get away from him? He really thought you both had a great time until now.

—

After taking care of your daughter and putting her in her bed you slumped yourself into the sofa grabbed a pillow beside you and pushed your face into it, muffling your frustrated groan. One date. The first date after five years and you fucked it up.

Deep inside you knew that this wasn't over the missed opportunity of getting laid, maybe it never was and you hoped for a deeper connection again.

Grabbing your phone from the table you searched for Joe's profile, it was just fair to explain yourself to him and apologize again right?! You still could see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes and you just can't handle the guilt.

You open the chat, and after writing, deleting, and writing again you just clicked on send

" Hey again. I feel really bad about how it ended today I had a really great time with you and thought I owe you an explanation at least. I have a six-year-old daughter and she was with her friend but she got sick and threw up so I had to pick her up. sorry for wasting your time ."

There was still a tiny spark of hope that maybe he was still interested and wanted to give this a second chance and even if not, to be mature enough to communicate this with you and not choose the easy way and just ghost you.

You watch in disappointment as the 'online' switched off and you were left on read.

the tiny spark goes out as quickly as a candle in the wind and it hurts, but you refuse to even shed a single tear about him

His lost.

Your disappointment morphed into anger at him and at yourself. What a silly idea to start trusting men again, you saw the last five years that you're fine without them. You should just focus on your daughter again. Why even waste your time going on dates with some arseholes who have the maturity level of your six-year-old, hell even she has more because she wouldn't ghost someone because they have a kid. Fuck him. fuck men.

The notification for a new message instantly forces you out of your empowering "stay single"- motivation speech and enlightens the spark right back as you gawk at his answer, neglecting everything you told yourself just seconds ago.

" So tomorrow, same place, same time? :)"

(reblogs and comments are very appreciated additional to your likes)

[misslilli]

Thank you guys for your support and a special thank you to @emily--sim for recommending my story 🥺 I'm so humbled and I did not cry a little, it was the onions... 🙈

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 30 - Moose, Squirrel And The Chocolate Factory (2/?)

[ DS ]

“Guess you won the Golden Ticket, Charlie, huh?” I put the lanyard with his real ticket to the Chocolate Factory around his neck. It’s not a gold one, and it seems like I’m the one who feels like she’s won the WillyWonka lottery.

The kids file into the bus and we follow suit, taking the two seats at the front. He stuffs his bag into the overhead compartment while I keep mine at my feet to even out the space between my shoes and the bus floor.

“Are you planning on staying overnight or why did you bring your purse with you?” He looks at me with mock-indignation.

“That’s not a purse, Scully, it’s a shoulder bag!” My mind flashes to the one scene in Friends, where Rachel makes Joey wear a handbag and I think about using one of their lines, but they’re talking about unisex bags, as in U and I sex and that’s not a conversation I’m about to start with 25 kids on the verge of early onset puberty straining their ears.

“You should really lay off the coffee, Scully, you’re pretty antsy already.” I brought my tumbler filled to the brim, but I haven’t taken a sip yet.

"Yeah, 25 randy kids at your back will do that to you - Randy, put your seat belt on. No not later, right now!”

The kids behave for the most part, so I can relax for a little while, putting my feet up on the partition in front of us.

“You know that that’s a safety hazard, right? If we were in an accident.…” I turn my head to give him a look replying in a sing-song voice.

“My mama said that it was okay, mama said that it was quite alright. So how are you enjoying a mama-free house? She left this week, right?”

“Yup, it’s heaven. I love my mother but she runs a pretty tight ship, I felt like I was a teenager again with her bossing me around!” Oh I can relate to that.

“Haha, yeah, it’s the same at my parents’s house, my dad was a Captain in the Navy, so a tight ship is about right. We still fold hospital corners on our beds in the morning for inspection. My mom feels the need to remind us to greet our guests, ‘Have you said Hello to So-and-So?’, makes me feel like I’m twelve again. Seems like you never grow up past that age for your parents. What about your dad, why didn’t he come?”

I regret that question immediately as I see his face fall a little and he looks out the window wistfully, his voice quiet.

“My dad died when Sam and I were little.”

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been tough. Were you close?” Focussing on the serious conversation, I ignore the crude language Kyle uses across the aisle, not wanting to interrupt his answer by telling him off.

“No, not really. He was away on official State Department business a lot, and when he was back, we didn’t really connect all that much. Seems like my parents drifted apart because of it too, they got divorced a few years before he died.” This story makes my own crazy family seem like a walk in the park. I feel bad for little Fox and Sam, that they had to go through this much when they were just children.

I can't feel bad for long though, because Kyle has leveled up from crude language to telling dirty jokes to the delight around the kids around him.

“Kyle that’s enough! Keep the jokes appropriate or I’ll have a word with your parents about limiting your TikTok exposure.” He pipes down immediately, he’s one of the kids where talking to the parents actually has an effect.

Mulder leans over, grinning, and says quietly “You can be glad he hasn’t seen the SNL skit with Colonel Angus!” I burst out laughing because I have, cried tears of laughter at it, to be exact.

“How do you know about this?” Didn’t peg him for a social media guy.

“Felix’s finger slipped ‘accidentally’ and he downloaded the app to my phone. At first, I thought it was a colossal waste of time at first, but they have some interesting conspiracy theories on there. You wanna hear some?”

“I’ll pass, thanks, I’ve had my fair share of theories from the anti-vaxxers to last me a lifetime!”

“Miss Scully, can we use our phones today to take pictures?” Kyle looks at me hopefully and when I say yes, they have a blast with various Snapchat filters. They also snap a picture of me sticking out my tongue with the dog filter and Mulder in the background making a face. It’s so silly, but it’s the first picture of us and it captures the good time we're having perfectly.

—————

[ FM ]

I thought the field trip would be a nice change to the awful things I have to see at work, but I didn’t expect to have so much fun and this is only the bus ride. I also can’t believe Scully can make silly dog ears work on her and have it be adorable.

Holding my hand out, I ask for her phone to take a picture with her kids - this is their last year together and I’m sure she’d like to have some memories of this day. She pushes it into my hand, it’s one of those new-ish things where you need your fingerprint to unlock it.

“Scully, I need your finger for this!” With a wicked grin, she holds up her hand and wriggles her fingers, just like you would do before flipping someone the bird.

“You wanna pick one?” She’s in a goofy, flirty mood today and I absolutely love it.

Unceremoniously, I grab her index finger I need to unlock the phone. “I’ll take this one, for now. Don’t want the kids to tell their parents that I’m a bad influence on their teacher.”

As I search for the camera app, I also notice the pink square with the flame on it. Tinder, Scully, really?? I pray to all things holy that no notification will pop up while I’m doing this, of some douche sliding into her DMs with a lame ‘Wyd?’. I’m not sure my poor heart could take it.

Thankfully, taking the picture goes down without a hitch or unwanted notifications and soon, we’re pulling into the parking lot of the Chocolate Factory.

“Don’t forget your man purse!,” she reminds me with a cheeky grin as I pull down our coats from the overhead compartment and help her into hers. You can’t say that I’m not the perfect gentleman, I even straighten out her twisted hood to 25 kids watching with eagle eyes.

Let the fun begin.

If you haven’t seen it yet, this is the Colonel Angus skit and I almost died watching it 😂 Mostly bc Mulder is said to be pretty good with his mouth and I imagined Scully watching it 😏

https://youtu.be/3l2oi-X8P38