#ignore the wedgehog bit i didnt want to interrupt the rhyme scheme but nothing really rhymes with hedgehog

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

i was only gonna do the first verse but i summarised most of sonic up to generations to the tune of jaws by lemon demon

sonic the hedgehog, lurking in the (wedgehog) in the depths of the hills, one day on a lark, decides to free birdies, feels real sad-niks takes a spin dash into several badniks

sulphur, carbon, blocking the sun. flickies get freedom! eggy better run! cause its crazy how free this hedgehog is! he'll go on adventures, he'll take little kids, oh no!

but the one thing keeping the plan stay assembled is a guy named knuckles and his giant fucking emerald. knuckles don't know that he's stealing that thing, he just wants to keep the ol' angel floating, geddit? get it?

the egg won't care for simple pity. he just wants chaos to flood the city, he's like "have another emerald, you can go for a swim." but holy shit, here comes that spin!

singing, "sonic is here. here is sonic." he is the guy without a cause. he was in a game, you should play it, it's called sonic. sonic is here. here is sonic. he is a hog who fights the law. he was in a movie that everyone saw.

long story short, there's a weapon down low. eggy's like, "i wanna find project shadow." suddenly, sonic's got the cops on his tail, but amy's gonna make sure he gets bailed. it was shadow all along! now he's pissed, shadow just shot to the top of his list. they reconsile and fight his big sis and shadow's then lost to the eternal abyss! Golly.

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, scoo-doo-be-doo doo, doo-be-doo, doo!

shadow's not dead but his memory's gone! they split into teams and work on their own goals. but metal sonic's already chose: i don't really know, haven't finished heroes! don't spoil it!

shadow's new dad is a space starfish, who conditions him to make him do his every last wish, cause he helped make shadow back in '51 to make a new weapon for a thing called "G.U.N." woah!

sonic is here. here is sonic. he is the guy without a cause. he was in a game. a game called sonic! sonic is here. here is sonic. he is a hog who fights the law. he was in a movie that everyone saw.

sonic must die, the iblis trigger. silver's gotta kill him or the fire grows bigger. silver finds out that he's on the wrong page and mee-philes shows up in a full on rage! he tears up sonic like paper in a shredder while elise's cheeks grow wetter and wetter. sonic gets smooched and the fans get mad and sonic is now unbelievably "bad"

the team's like, "sonic's now a werehog," so in the new game, he's a werehog. the were-est hog that's ever provailed! gonna make furry ass - or i guess, furry tail? yeah, tail. but OH MY SHIT! dark gaia's gone, but chip got hit! fading away like a child star. now he's a bracelet sonic doesnt wear [pronounced "wahr"]

now for colours. i dont know. there are whisps there.

eggy's angry, he's all like, "fuck it." he splits apart time, making modern meet classic. classic's last words are "____, _______." then they go super and its a pretty good effect, yeah!

sonic's there. long live sonic. he is a guy without a cause. he was in a game, you should play it, it's called "sonic". sonic's there! long live sonic! he is a hog who fights the law. he was in a movie that everyone saw.

he was in a movie that everyone saw!

he was in a movie that everyone saw.

sonic's there. long live sonic. he is a guy without a cause! he is in a game. called sonic!

sonic's there

at the '22 awards

long live sonic

he was robbed!

he is a guy without a cause!

hedgehogs exist in real life. wooh!

he was in a movie that everyone saw!

sonic's there. long live sonic.

-------------------

line that didnt get in for the unleashed recap: