#ignore the spelling errors ill fix it in post (probably not)

[artigust]

"You shouldn't be listening to big bird right now"

A small piece from a digital zine I'm working on that will be a compilation of art, sketches, and some of my writings

(｡◕‿‿◕｡)

[acacia-may]

Some Blog Updates, My Apologies, and Words of Explanation of What Has Been Going On Around Here Lately...

I really am sorry for the sporadic way that things are having to be run around here. For everyone who has pending asks and requests from months ago, I am so sorry I can't fulfill them for you right now. I have not forgotten about you and still plan to respond to all the asks as soon as I am feeling better. In an ideal world, I would respond to all asks in the order they were received and wouldn't have so many promises still pending out there, but unfortunately, that isn't something I can do right now due to serious chronic health issues.

I have still been writing a few self-indulgent pieces as a form of escapism & coping when I can, if only to try to keep my spirits up during what has been an extremely difficult time for my health, and I hope you all understand that this isn't me ignoring you in favor of working on personal projects rather than on fulfilling my obligations. I do genuinely feel very guilty for leaving you & your asks/requests hanging, but honestly writing "self-indulgence" is generally all I even barely have the energy for at the moment when it comes to fic writing since it takes the pressure off of making something "perfect" for the one who requested it and I find a little extra energy in my own passion and self-indulgence for the topic.

That said, I started that new ask game with the song + heacanon because it was easy for me (and didn't require a lot of effort or writing on my part) so I thought it was something I could actually fulfill for you as a thank you for being patient while you all wait for the bigger, more time-consuming asks.

I really am sorry for not explaining this better before, and if anyone has been confused or hurt by this, I am very, very sorry. That was never my intention. I have included more details below the cut in case anyone wants a more detailed explanation. These are not excuses, just my attempts to explain where things are and what's going on since I understand how it may look out of context and I didn't want there to be confusion or hurt feelings.

Thank you all for being so kind and so patient and for sticking around through all of this chaos! Cheers & much love to you all, friends! Please take care of yourselves. 🥰

As I'm sure some of you know from previous posts, I have been on and off hiatus due to severe chronic health issues for the past several months. The flare of my illness plus accompanying debilitating fatigue has unfortunately forced me to give up most things in my life (both online & in the real world) while I go for treatment & try to recover. Please know that it has never been by choice that I haven’t been around.

All of that said, writing fanfiction has always been a sort of an escape for me and a way for me to cope when I’m dealing with these kinds of serious health problems, so I have still been writing a little bit whenever I am able as a sort of outlet & escapism, but it’s mostly only the most self-indulgent pieces--trying to keep up spirits during what has been a very difficult time. To be perfectly honest with you, I feel the writing I have been doing recently has not been my best work, and I know there have been lots of problems with it (i.e. continuity errors with the canon, dumb spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors ect.) which have been kindly and constructively pointed out by others or mortifyingly noticed by me then fixed--and I do feel a little insecure about the roughness of my recent work to tell you the absolutely truth. 😅 That said, since it is mostly all self-indulgent, I tell myself that it's okay that it’s not perfect because it’s just for me.

Which leads me to the matter of my inbox and all the pending asks. I am so sincerely sorry for all the delays, and I have felt so guilty for having to leave everyone hanging. However, as you have probably guessed from my bleeding heart for fictional overachieving perfectionists, I myself am an overachieving perfectionist, and I know I would feel much guiltier trying to fulfill my requests knowing that whatever I could come up wouldn’t be my best work (since I am unfortunately lacking the health and energy to do that at the moment). I always want to give my best work to everyone who writes into this blog, but this is especially true when you have already had to wait such a very long time for something I have promised. I spend a lot of time on all of my headcanon and fic requests and answers to asks because I really just want it to be perfect and good enough for the person who asked for it. Since I feel like I can’t do that right now, I have decided to put the majority of my asks on hold rather than trying to fulfill asks with what I know will be my roughest work. I promise if you do have an ask in my inbox right now, I see you and I love you. I have not been ignoring you or forgotten you. I just want to give you my best work, and I can't do that right now so I've been holding on to your ask until I feel that I can.

All of that said, I have felt so bad and so guilty for leaving you all hanging (especially while I've been working on personal projects) so I thought of that new game I made because it was something I felt I could actually fulfill and complete, since it didn't require as much effort or writing on my part. It mostly consisted of songs that I pulled from fandom, character, and ship playlists I had already made, and the headcanon tends to go with the song in such basic terms it almost writes itself: i.e. the song mentions going to the beach, so the headcanon is this character’s favorite beach activity is building sandcastles (or something like that). It’s honestly just kind of silly but I felt I owed everyone something I thought I could do (if that makes sense?). The writers ask game I reblogged is just personal questions about my writing process—easy, short answers and low pressure, so that’s kind of in the same “I can do this category.” I plan to wrap up the asks for both of these games, and I don't know what will happen after that. Maybe we'll have to keep playing easier games like that for a little while or (hopefully) I'll be feeling well enough to circle back to more serious, time-consuming asks. I honestly can't say.

In the meantime, I wanted to reiterate how sorry I am for all the delays and also if there has been any distress, disappointment, miscommunication, or hurt feelings for how things have been having to be run around here. I'm sorry this blog has not been run in the way I had hoped or planned, but please know I am still trying my best to make wholesome content for you all to enjoy.

Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around during this chaotic and difficult time and for your continued support! Cheers & Much Love!! 💕