#ignore the nicolas cage pillow I guess

[featherlessredheads]

The stunning @cavelier-eternal tagged me a while ago to post a selfie so here we go!

I had to buy a tie for a performance and I immediately felt like I could be the fourth member of boygenius

I'm tagging the lovely @medusastears @brazenedminstrel @prideandperdition @magicmusicdreams @moss-wizard @sylvanas-girlkisser @daedradevotee @underwater-alchemist @matt--bragg @radioceann to do the same if you feel like it :)

[viollettes]

“Carnations” (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the phenomenal @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! you witty, pliable, sun goddess with beautiful curls - i adore you!

a/n: i loved reading all of your theories and comments! that said, i’m waaaaay too predictable ;) -j. x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

Maybe your head is unable to function after the many hours of crying into your pillow or maybe your heart is burnt out from the tsunami of emotions. For some reason, all words and social etiquette have escaped you, and you’re left dumbly staring at the blonde standing in front of you.

“Hey, (Y/N). Uh, we’ve never met in person, but my name is Sharon Carter.”

Ah – this is blonde girl who asked if you were okay right before you sprinted out of the Student Gov office. Your manners snap back into place and you hold out a hand. “Sorry I’m a little out of right now. You’re on Student Gov, right?”

“Yes. I’m the VP of External Affairs. I work closely with Steve.”

Steve’s betrayal is still very raw, your lungs feel like they’re going to collapse at the sound of his name. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not really in the mood to socialize,” you say, your voice low and strangled.

“Wait!” Sharon draws in a breath before letting it rush out. “Dot was lying about the carnations. Steve wasn’t playing a cruel joke, because he never sent the flowers to you.”

The last thing you need is another soul-draining bombshell, yet here’s this random, albeit very beautiful, stranger providing you with yet another one. At this point, there’s only one thing running through your mind, and if you don’t comply with it, you feel like you’re going to combust into confetti.

“I can leave if you want –”

Eyes closed, you interrupt, “Sharon? Are you super busy for the next hour?”

The blonde knits her eyebrows in confusion at the left-field question, but she shakes her head. “I’m finished with my assignments for the day,” she says.

“Great. Do you mind if we take this conversation elsewhere? I have something urgent to take care of. I promise it won’t take long.”

“One spaghetti aglio e oglio and one shrimp and scallop pesto linguini.”

You wave your fork in protest as the waiter places one of the plates in front of Sharon. “They’re both for me,” you reveal. Your stomach grumbles in agreement, and a genuine smile splits your lips for the first time in hours.

Crying into your pillow took precedence over dinner, but the hurricane of emotions that barreled your way didn’t curb your appetite. Also, there’s no way you’re going to listen to information that has the potential to carve out your heart without a hearty bowl of comforting pasta sitting in front of you.

Are you stress-eating? Yes.

Do you care? Abso-motherfucking-lutely not.

Much to Sharon’s credit, she didn’t question your sanity after you emerged from your room looking like a hot mess. She even let you borrow the baseball cap perched on her head after you mumbled a sigh about the bird’s nest that was your hair. She kindly offered to drive, saving both of you the fifteen minute walk. Sharon scored herself more major brownie points when she barely batted an eyelash after you ordered two large pasta dishes for yourself.

“And miss, would you like a refill on your tea? Are you sure you don’t want food for yourself?”

“I’m good on the food, but I’ll take a refill on the tea. Thank you so much.”

You wait until the waiter steps out of earshot to ask, “This is weird, right? A complete stranger just dragged you to a restaurant so you can watch her shovel food into her mouth.”

A small smile lines her lips. “It’s a little unexpected. And we may be strangers, but I’ve heard a lot about you from Steve.” The blonde hesitates as she notices the light in your eyes dim at the sound of Steve’s name. “Are you sure you want to hear this right now?”

“I might as well…” The slight distress on Sharon’s face makes your guard to go up, but you ignore it and ask, “So… Dot was lying about Steve? How do you know that?”

“I was in the annex when you came into the office, and Dot forgot that you can hear everything from the back room. I know she used my password to get you the information you wanted,” Sharon reveals. She grimaces like there’s a bitter taste in her mouth but continues, “The person who sent you the flowers wrote a question mark as their name, but I know it wasn’t Steve.”

Twirling your fork into your noodles, you ask, “What proof do you have?” Your tone is a little hostile, but you don’t care.

“I’ve been with Steve for the entirety of the carnation sale. He only bought three flowers – a red one and two pink ones. The pink ones were joke flowers. I remember because he was snickering about Sam and Bucky’s potential reactions the entire time. I’m pretty sure he wrote a dirty joke or something.”

The stoic face you’re maintaining crumbles a bit as you imagine what kind of dirty joke Steve chose to send Bucky and Sam. You shove a forkful of pasta into your mouth to muffle the laughter, but the giggle successfully fights through.

Sharon takes your giggle as encouragement to continue. “After you left the office, I checked the computer. The spreadsheet confirmed Steve didn’t send those flowers and that Dot was lying.”

“But why would Dot lie to a complete stranger? I’ve never done anything to her.”

“Because Dot’s a bitch.” Sharon holds out her hands when your head shoots up in shock. “I know that’s not nice to say, but it’s the truth.”

“I don’t understand.”

Sharon sighs but continues, “(Y/N), there are some people who take satisfaction in watching others break down. You’d think as college students, we’ve graduated from the girl-destroy-girl mentality that’s shoved into our faces, but unfortunately Dot has yet to do so.”

“But she genuinely looked surprised and sorry for me.”

“Anyone can look genuinely surprised and sorry. All it requires is some acting skills. Also, Dot’s had it out for Steve ever since he beat her in the election. My guess is Dot saw an opportunity to not only satisfy her need for drama but also wreck some havoc in Steve’s life.”

So not only did you get wrapped up in a stupid fantasy, but you also spent the last few hours cursing out an innocent person and vowing to ice him out of your life. A knife twists into your heart, but it’s not one of anger or betrayal. This blade is one that stings of sharp guilt.

“(Y/N), you and I both know that Steve isn’t the type of person who’d prey on someone’s emotions through a prank. His idea of a prank is hiding pictures of Nicolas Cage in your room and things.”

“Oh my God, he did that to you too?”

“It took about two months before I eradicated all the Nic Cage photos in the Student Gov office.”

“Lucky you. It took me an entire semester before realizing he was using our study sessions as a guise to come into my room and hide more photos.”

Stifled snickers quickly change into loud giggles that diffuse the tense atmosphere lingering around the booth. A few minutes pass before Sharon cautiously speaks up. “So, how are you’re feeling?”

You set down your fork and bury your face in your hands. “To be honest, I’m not sure. I feel horrible about blindly assuming the worst about Steve, but I also feel so stupid and small,” you reveal.

Trusting the newfound camaraderie between you and the blonde, you take the next twenty minutes explaining everything, and you don’t leave out any details. The way Sharon intently listens without casting judgment compels you to dive deeper. You tell her about the high school flower sales that stamped trauma into your heart. You even break your cardinal rule and reveal your crush on Bucky and the turbulent ride it took you on.

It’s not long before you’ve talked off the weight of your shoulders. The sensation coursing through you is similar to the soda exploding out of a furiously shaken can. It surprises you how easy it is in confide in Sharon, and you even express, “I can’t believe I just told you all that.”

“Bottling things up until they explode will do that to you,” the blonde assures. “But if you don’t mind me picking at your brain, how does Bucky now fit into all of this?”

You let out a heavy sigh and push around the now-cold pasta. “Today’s events are making me realize my crush on Bucky has spiraled deeper than I intended it to. I always assumed it was puppy-love, but…” A groan escapes you as you angrily stab a noodle. “I can’t believe I banked on a fantasy that lacks any credible foundation.”

Though Sharon’s proven to be one who doesn’t judge, you can’t help but feel nervous as she remains silent. An eternity passes before she says, “Why don’t you tell Bucky about your feelings?”

Thinking that she’s joking, you clutch your stomach and burst into laughter. “Good one, Sharon. Yes, I’m totally going to confess my feelings to him and –” Your heart stops when you notice her straight face. “Oh my God, you’re being serious right now. Sharon, you know I can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“I can’t risk losing his friendship. Also, Bucky could have any girl he wants. Why would he be interested in me?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

Pink floods your cheeks as soon as those words leave Sharon’s lips. “No,” you staunchly disagree.

Sharon rolls her eyes as if there was no point in arguing because she was right. “Judging from what you told me, Bucky doesn’t seem to be the type to dump a friend over something like this. If he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, it’ll sting, but you’ll move on. If he does reciprocate them, you have a budding romance on your hands and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. Plus, you have yourself to thank for it, and that makes it all more worth it.”

Could it be that simple?

You’ve always assumed that a confession would end horribly. Whenever you played out possible scenarios in your head, they always ended in either Bucky laughing in your face or you bursting into tears.

Bucky could react positively. Bucky could say that he doesn’t share your sentiments. There was no way to know for sure unless you said something. Maybe hiding your feelings wasn’t the wisest thing to do. Maybe you needed to muster up confidence in yourself, put your heart on the line, and take a chance.

But before you make the next step, there’s something you need to ask.

“Sharon, why are you doing this? You don’t know me, there’s no moral obligation for you to help me out like this.”

The blonde shrugs and says, “Steve is my friend. I couldn’t let Dot drag his name in the mud like this. Also we girls need to watch out for each other. After all,” her lips quirk up in an amused smile, “real queens fix each other’s crowns.”

Your eyebrows shoot upwards. “Wow, that’s… oddly deep. Did you think of that yourself?”

“Nah, I read that somewhere on Pinterest.”

Giggles escape you as Sharon smirks and takes a sip of her tea. There was something very humanizing about the idea of the blonde beauty browsing Pinterest.

Sharon takes your small yet growing smile as a good sign. “Now, back to this ‘thing’ with Bucky… I say you let him know about your feelings, but I, of course, can’t force you to do anything.” She gives you a knowing look before continuing, “What do you want to do?”

Part 4

Tags are are officially closed.

@buckyywiththegoodhair @bovaria @abovethesmokestacks @sebbytrash @brighterlights @beccaanne814-blog @jurassicbarnes @avengerofyourheart @cleanslates @corruptedlungsandblackwings @fandomlifeuniverse @themcuhasruinedme @hellomissmabel @pleasecallmecaptain @captainpunk @sebstanwassup @magnolia-wanders @latenightbooknerd @debzybrazy @cami23593 @mynamespaigex @redgillan @alivingfanlady @queen--valeskaxx @softcorehippos @feelmyroarrrr @elyza-jeanette  @addictionmarvel @piratecaptain-ducky @taylorjacksonandtheolympians @netflixa @latenitetacos @ideallywinter  @unicornqueen05 @finallybreathee @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @summerbummer2001 @metal-arm-red-star @supermegafoxyawsomehot-nice @cassandras-musings @puddinsgal @secondstartotheright-imagines @vintagesaph @seeyainanotherlifebrotha @emilyinwonderland3 @lunaaaaax384 @langinator @littlenerdgirl16 @happily-beinghappy @wickedwerewolf