#if youre reading this without context read the heinz dilemma on ao3

[electricalhuzzah]

Okay so my theory/pretty sure this isn’t really gonna happen in the fic but it would be funny for the relationship reveal is: someone catches them Going At It, Ford’s immediate excuse is “no I’m just using him for sex like he’s here anyway why shouldn’t I?” and whoever caught them shockes them both by defending Bill.

THIS WOULD BE CRAZYYY I LOVE IT

heres some ideas i originally had for the relationship reveal but decided to scrap / crack one-off funnies

- ford and bill are caught kissin in the gift shop (prolly by soos) and bill, immediately upon realizing, shoves ford away and pulls the “that’s called WORKPLACE SEXUAL HARASSMENT, Sixer!” or “no i will NOT sleep with you for higher pay, stanford!” and everyones like “alright pack it up bill ‘cast-this-man-in-gold’ cipher”

- ford and bill start running out of ideas for fake arguments and steal dramatic dialogue from ducktective. the twins notice IMMEDIATELY.

- stan accidentally checks the bank statements referenced in chapter 8.

- dipper, looking for a science book in the lab basement, accidentally opens the wrong book and finds the polaroids referenced in chapter 8

- mabel asks bill about “bjorn” later and bills all like “you wanna know his real name?” and mabel’s like :0 “but i thought that would summon him??” and bill’s like “aw, c’mon shooting star, you’ve handled worse.” mabel’s panicking and trying to convince bill not to “summon” his ex. cue bill taunting her and just egging on her panic until he just yells out “STANFORD PINES” and ford shows up with narrowed eyes and a cup of coffee like “the hell do you want cipher” and mabels like “oh”

rest assured that the actual relationship reveal will be not quite so silly :,)

[electricalhuzzah]

Dipper: Ahahahahahah I’m gonna drug Bill and get him to reveal his evil plan!

Drugged Bill, probably: Ford is so smart and pretty seriously you guys have you seen Ford

yeah basically how that chapters gonna go LMFAO (i am lying it will be angsty n dramatic)

also an additional silly—

Bill, slightly drug-y: This wisdom teeth loopy juice won’t make me talk, Pine tree!

Dipper: Aight, let’s up the dosage

(ten minutes later)

Bill, fucked up on the wisdom teeth juice: i will now list everything your grunkle has put inside me for “research purposes”

Dipper: LOWER THE DOSAGE LOWER THE DOSAGE