#if your rivalry has lasted this long it's gonna turn gay /silly

[ananinidraws]

At what point does arch nemesis banter crosses the line and turns into flirting?

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway

[sumigakure]

Staring at the Sun

Happy Holidays!

To: @rezelis

From: @miss-fandoms-shakespeare

Title: Staring at the Sun 

Rating: Teen (for swearing)

Wordcount: 2000

Prompt: So I wrote a time travel fic but it got really long and sad and it was kinda awful so I reread your wish and latched onto the supernatural creatures bit and ran with it. 

Warnings/Notes: I have never written Gai ever before and I tried my best not to make things too awkward and cringy since you said that stuff wasn’t a thing for you. I hope this is something you like and send holiday wishes!

Summary: This had a working title of “Kakashi no don’t do that you’ll end  up…. it’s too late isn’t it?” and that is the best summary for this. Feat. Gai to the rescue and incorrect assumptions of clan heritage. 

When Kakashi opened his eyes before the sun had risen over the Hokage monument, he expected it to be another one of his more tiring days. He couldn’t remember the dream that woke him so early, but if it had been bad enough he wrenched himself out of his unusually deep slumber, then it was probably better he didn’t remember. Maybe, for once Gai wouldn’t harass him into another foolish challenge. Or maybe he hoped that Gai would, the challenges did have a way of making him feel far more rooted in Konoha, more wanted. For a moment he thought about just not going to meet his team, yeah, that’s it. He’ll make them wait for a few hours, choosing instead to go stand in front of Obito’s grave and apologize to the Uchiha he’d been best friends with before poking a little fun at him, and then by–Kakashi’s thoughts screeched to a halt. He didn’t have a team. Sasuke had run off to Orochimaru, Naruto had run off with Jiraiya, and Sakura had run to Tsunade. He was most certainly proud of each of his students, Sasuke for progressing so quickly (he saw far too much of the grieving toddler he had been), Naruto for getting his head on his shoulders and really doing something to help him reach his goals (he felt a pang every time Naruto used the Rasengan, knowing it had been Minato’s strongest magic), and Sakura for not taking anyone’s shit and quickly becoming a shinobi of notability (he felt so awful every time he remembered how he had ignored her training in favor of her male teammates.) But he missed them. They gave him something to do with his days, allowed him to take missions that didn’t involve killing and blood. He saw his own team in them, for the little bit of time he had been part of one. He longed for Minato to be here, to still be alive, but alas, he couldn’t let his head wander to silly fantasies.

Kakashi was a shinobi, a magical person or creature that swore to use their powers to protect humanity from the darkness of the shadow realm. They could be all human, werewolf (like his father had been, as well as many powerful fighters like Jiraiya), seelie (like the infamous Hyuuga clan), vampires (the Uchiha), or other non-human or partly non-human magical beings. And while they were all technically on the same side, that did not stop anyone from establishing territories and engaging in minor, petty rivalries. Especially for long-living proud clans. (*cough cough* Uchiha *cough cough*) They had a leader or group of leaders, often an assembly major figures in the human realm of politics. At the moment they were led by a council of Kages. They bickered and sometimes [read: always] got territorial, but they ran the world relatively fairly and kindly, at least, they didn’t actively start too many major wars. Those were almost always caused by non-magical political leaders.

Kakashi finally sat up with a weary sigh and pulled in the mask he always wore. It was a habit he picked up as a toddler and never thought to change. He pushed himself out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen-living space that was the main room of his small apartment. His dogs, all right of them, looked up and started wagging their tails, excited to see him up. He flicked the coffee machine on, grabbed a random sweatshirt from the rack next to the door, took a few of the leashes and then opened the door. His dogs followed after him obediently, Pakkun in the lead. He clipped the leashes to a few of his more troublesome dogs and then led the small caravan to the local park. Kakashi has not looked too closely at the sweater he pulled in and had not really thought about running into anyone. So when he got to the dog park and let his army of hellion loose, he did not expect to see another man there with his own rather impressive group of dogs. The man was clearly a vampire, from the way he kept carefully out of the rising sun, and nets were he was an Uchiha. A trickle of an idea formed in Kakashi’s mind.

It should be stated that Kakashi did not actively seek out Uchiha to annoy. It’s just that after having Obito as a teammate and Sasuke as a genin and working with Itachi before his desertion and fighting a number of the clan, he’s developed a certain…habit for getting in their nerves. And after the melancholy of his morning and the dream last night, he could use a little [mostly] harmless fun. And so, with a mostly formed plan in his mind, Kakashi casually walked over to the bench the vampire was sitting on and slouched down into the seat. Now to bide his time and wait for the perfect moment.

It took about five minutes before the vampire started side-eyeing Kakashi. Which he was sort of impressed by. Most people only lasted a minute before getting squirmy. Kakashi smirked inwardly and was glad for the mask. They were approaching the point he found so amusing, when the Uchiha broke. The other man lasted another five minutes before turning to face Kakashi. This was going to be good….

“I don’t know who Tobirama said I was but I am the Uchiha clan head and you can tell your boss that if he keeps sending god damn surrogates just to piss me off I’ll have his head! It’s even worse than the fucking clones! At least those didn’t reek of animal like you do.” The vampire bellowed, voice very clearly carrying across the whole two feet between them. He was loud and also insulting. That last shot about animal hurt. Well, Kakashi had not intended to annoy Madara, but if this was the result he might understand why Tobirama Senju routinely got into petty spats with him. Kakashi blinked his visible eye once.

“I don’t work for the Senju at all. And I certainly haven’t been sent by Tobirama-san” Kakashi protested lightly, careful to keep his voice calm. It had infuriated Obito when they were kids, but he also did not want to piss off a Head Vampire. Not while he was unarmed and had no proof of his shinobi status. Madara looked utterly disbelieving and was slowly growing a nice red.

“Of course you work for the Senju! You smell like their blood and look like Tobirama’s twin for heaven’s sake!” Madara shouted back. Kakashi knew that they had the same silver-white hair and had his face been visible they would’ve had similar noses, and that the Hatakes were related to the Senju distantly, but that didn’t mean he was a Senju. In fact, Kakashi was pretty sure he was about as far from being a Senju as possible. He hadn’t even slept with someone from their bloodline, no way did he smell like them.

“I’m telling you, I’m not a Senju.  I’m a shinobi, yes, but I’m from a different clan.” Kakashi insisted, hesitant to reveal who he was. He wasn’t sure what the Uchiha thought of him and didn’t want to get his ass handed to him by Madara. Kakashi was a powerful shinobi, but Heads had more power than anyone else. And to be entirely and completely honest, the vampire scared him. On instinct he started to call chakra to his hands, feeling his fingertips tingle with the promise of power and lightning. Kakashi didn’t really want to fight in public, but it wouldn’t be his first (or second or third or fourth) run in with an Uchiha in public and the park was empty except for them. Right when Madara opened his mouth, eyes narrowing into a glare, fangs elongating, no doubt to berate Kakashi and further try to prove he was sent by Tobirama and possibly seconds away from going for his throat, a bright green blur appeared in front of Kakashi.

“My eternal rival! It is so good to see you out and about on this youthful morning!” Gai, a very green, very spandex-y shinobi who liked to wax poetic about being youthful. Kakashi had been dulled to the strangeness of it all over the years of knowing and being good friends with the man. Madara, however, has had no such exposure and was rather appropriately shocked out of his goddamn mind at the almost magical appearance of what surely smelled like a human. The vampire made a choking sound and thumped a hand against his chest. His fangs made an audible snick as they retracted. Kakashi was so  glad he was here to witness this. A flustered Madara not about to kill him was highly amusing. He let his chakra fade into the calm state it was usually in.

“Who is this?!” He spluttered, still recovering from the shock. Kakashi smirked under the mask, but the smugness must have transmitted through because Madara glared at him again. Kakashi gulped a little, but didn’t let the look phase him. After seeing Madara surprised he was far less terrifying.

“I told you I wasn’t a Senju. And definitely not one sent by Tobirama-san to antagonize you.” Gai beamed.

“My most honorable comrade here likes to poke fun at people sometimes!” The beast of a man exclaimed. Madara fumed, but relented and stood up before giving a flustered attempt at…something. Kakashi couldn’t actually understand what the man said before he called two of the dogs Kakashi’s pack had been playing with and walked away, muttering to himself about “useless shinobi, gonna kill Tobirama…” Kakashi let the feeling of a little fun wash over him, completely cleansing away the feeling from earlier this morning. Gai clapped him on the shoulder. Kakashi chuckled slightly and Gai gave Kakashi a Look ™.

“He was the one who started it. I simply sat down here.” Kakashi shrugged. Gai beamed again and struck a Nice Guy pose, thumbs up and feet planted wide.

“My eternal rival! How I wish I could emulate how cool you are!” Gai exclaimed. Kakashi let out a long sigh, but even as he brushed off the other man he let a hand drop to Gai’s shoulder.  Kakashi knew he’d regret his earlier wish for more Gai, but right now his presence had saved him from a situation and he was really glad to have such a good friend. Gai opened his mouth, with the look in his eyes that meant a challenge was coming and Kakashi acted quickly.

“Sorry to bail on you so early, Gai, but my dogs have been out for a while and I need to take them back home to eat. I’ll see you later, okay?” As he spoke he called his dogs over with a flare of chakra. They all came running, even if they were reluctant to leave their doggy friends. Gai’s posture didn’t droop and his smile became more genuine.

“Of course Kakashi, you cool, cool man! I shall find you later to issue our daily challenge. Until then!” Then Gai sprung off into a sprint and Kakashi sent up a prayer for whatever unsuspecting jogger was about to be blown over. He attached the leashes and then started walking back towards his apartment, taking the route that would lead him past the grove of trees the contained the Memorial Stone. Kakashi no longer felt the drag on his insides and knew that while he’d definitely not be able to blow off Gai’s challenge today, he would also have time to write a few emails to his former students. Maybe even see if there were any short missions. He gave a smirk. Maybe there would be a mission where he’d get to work with a vampire. Especially a red-eyed vampire, if he was lucky. Smiling to himself, Kakashi walked peacefully back, pleased with his morning and looking forward to the day ahead of him.

If you enjoyed this piece, why not take a look at other pieces written by the same author on AO3.

[1dicta]

dicta do you have any larry fic recs? nothing specific but just any fic that you loved a lot? thank you, your opinion on fics means a lot to me, and i feel like you'd probably know the really good ones!

Oh my gosh anon I love the wording of this ask so much. I’ve been meaning to make a larry rec list for going on a year but it just feels so official/overwhelming? But this, fic I loved a lot??? I can absolutely do that!!! and aaaaah there are SO MANY!!! I am not as organized about larry fic as drarry fic so this is, basically, like, a list of fics that stuck in my brain and/or heart and that are all so so good. SO GOOD! (and tbh there’s a whole other list of stuff that i’d rec but would want to reread before attempting commentary, and I have so many things marked for later and like….yeah….there’s a lot of good fic out there) And really, what better rec is there than “this is a fic that stuck in my brain and/or heart”?? Everyone should read them all!!

an act of faith against the night by @elianefics​ - M, 65k - It’s a clear path, drawing itself in Harry’s mind – where they began, how they ended up here. It’s not hard to convey all the events that led them to this very moment, with all of their twists and turns, not when Harry has been going through them again and again every night, albeit searching for something else.  “Did you know?” When Harry replies, it’s a question, not an answer. “Did you know, that it would end like this?”[Harry and Louis had never imagined that, when they would finally go back to New York, it would be as spies.] (part two of the landscapes of war series)

The war from ‘a prayer for which no words exist’ (recced below!) is over, or at least as over as war can be for the people who were there, which is to say….not all that over, just taking different shape. I have endless love for the way this fic treats that aftermath, the way it shows how deeply and irreversibly harry and Louis were shaped by being fighters, and it is a stunning mix of beautiful prose and important ethical questions. It also does some really fascinating meta work with Simon Cowell, the Azoffs, and the Cordens taking on central roles in the post-war nation-building project. It’s a lot for one fic to do, and this one manages it beautifully, and throws in some more beautiful NYC cityscapes, heartaching and conflicted nostalgia, and taut but unwavering H/L love, you know, just for good measure.

another hazy may by deLILAh - M, 41k - louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

It’s been over a year since I’ve properly read this all the way and I can still see parts of it as vividly as if it had been last night. Harry’s hair, cigarette smoke curling upwards, hardwood floors, the rhythm of Harry’s feet as he runs to stay in shape for the job that will take him away from Louis, the feeling of seconds slipping away, and each of them more precious for being so few in number. This is one of those fics that made me nostalgic for somewhere I’d never been - except who hasn’t felt as though time was moving simultaneously quickly and too slowly, as though there is something precious that could fall apart at any second? And that’s one of many things this fic does beautifully: gives us the universality of their story, and reminding us of our own.

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart by @conscious–ramblings​ - M, 19k - Louis and Harry had been childhood best friends, but had been separated by evacuation as the city they grew up in was destroyed around them. Now, twelve years later, they are both back in London, and through chance they meet again. In a time when you can’t admit to being gay, for fear of arrest, admitting to your best friend that you love them seems like an insurmountable obstacle.Featuring boxer Harry and mechanic Louis, much pining, and a lot of post war Britain

There’s often a moment in fic where they’re trying to figure out if the other one is gay and/or available, that’s full of a certain kind of tentative hope because there’s some kind of attraction there and what if, what if it was everything they think it might be? This fic takes that to 11 in the most meaningful way, because it’s the 40s, and being gay is a crime, and it’s not a question of whether they’re reading the right signals - neither of them can afford to send any - but of trying to accept that it could never, can never be. Set against absolutely simmering chemistry (the moment Louis first sees Harry in the ring is a thing I’m still not over) and wonderful research and settings (loved the feel of it, the way it all came to life, how present the remnants of the war were as they went about their lives) and fab secondary characters (Niall is a gem, and Liam is so how I think of him, and really everyone was just perfect) and this incredible click where you can feel the ease and understanding between them, feel the sense that they are destined and absolutely belong together…it takes that tension and longing, already at an 11, to a 12, and the ending is cathartic and beautiful and means so much more for knowing how rare and lucky and precious that moment is, and how much they’re willing to risk, and how it’s kinds of risk that are sometimes very specific to being queer in a moment when it’s illegal and how many of them are universal, and how incredible and enormous and moving a thing it is when both kinds of risk pay off.

Don’t Look Down by zarah5 - M, 92k - AU. In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

Harry is unbelievably charming here, and it makes total sense that Louis falls for him, and as the story unfolds the clarity and meaningfulness of their connection gets more and more apparent even as Louis is fighting it tooth and nail. But it’s not miscommunication and it’s not self-loathing, it’s that Louis’ reasons are genuinely thoughtful and important (professional ethics!!!!!! With real implications!!!!) and that they’re genuinely in a difficult position and can’t be together without betraying things that mean a lot to both of them, which made me love this version of him even more and root for them that much harder. And I was already rooting for them pretty damn hard. They fit together beautifully from the first, understand each other on so many levels, are drawn together just magically…and then there are these beautiful moments (Venice omg) and heart-wrenching moments (after that dinner and that one morning and then that other one omg) and hold-your-breath moments (what is Louis gonna dooooo) and heart-pounding momebts, and I could not put it down.

Fake you’re full and feel tomorrow by theglitterbee - NC-17, 21k - Louis is a high class prostitute and the best at what he does. Harry is a hard to please 17 year old who wants to give himself completely to another man. [It contains prostitution, d/s, daddy kink, silly banter and two idiots in love.](The one with the text messages.)

listen this is gonna sound like a weird rec but bear with me. this fic was one of the first 1d fics I read, and on face is almost entirely made of things i don’t like, and yet, here it is. It did that alchemical thing where it just worked and it did all these things really well - like daddy kink was 100% squick for me before this and it’s still like 80% squick but this fic explained it in such a way that i got it and could understand it and see why it worked for them and what it meant for them and that psychology made it work (and made me get why it was hot? which is pretty massive for something in the squick category). and i was hesitant about their ages but it wound up being (i think not unrealistically) part of a fundamental kind of self-discovery that was part of why things between them felt so critical and important. and i was v skeptical about social media stuff in fic but this one did it so well that i got it and felt like it really enriched the story and showed a particular kind of progress and dynamic in their interactions that needed to be done that way (and wound up being really cool and impressive). and i was nervous about the potential for the dynamics to not work but they are both full people who needed each other in this very specific way and fit together beautifully and it did some of the best stuff kink fics do imo, where the kink reveals something about who they are and what they need and why they work and who they are individually and together, and so here we are, a fic with tags i wouldn’t usually touch, reccing away and considering a reread. this kind of rec can be kind of ~, i know, but the tl;dr is that this fic is so good it overcame every hesitation and left me totally engaged and impressed and invested.

Hold Me Closer by balanceds - NC-17, 36.5k - Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company’s history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

I was so surprised when I looked up the word count for this bc I would have sworn it was at least twice as longc there is so much story, and so much development, and so many moments that stick that. Watching Louis come to terms with who he was as a dancer and and person was this beautiful process that was so rewarding to read, and it was unusual and fresh in this way I really want to talk about but really don’t want to spoil. Along the way there is spectacular chemistry, zayn and Louis taking on gay swan lake, so much yearning and despair and happiness and reckoning and growth, an amazing and deeply satisfying Simon moment, and one of those h/l relationships where they make each other strong.

like a boomerang by @youwilll​ - M, 52k - AU in which Harry gets trapped in a lift, Louis gets stuck in a Wednesday, and it’s always February 2nd. Until it isn’t.

This fic is so so utterly charming in like nine different ways. Harry and Louis slot together so beautifully you can practically hear the click, and then they do it again and again and somehow every time feels fresh and important, and through it all the stakes get bigger as Louis contemplates the meaning of their repeated day and all of these deep questions sneak in, and a bit of a mystery, and a bunch of self-discovery, and a bunch of personal growth as Louis learns and thinks, really thinks, about what he needs to do, and realizes how willing he is to do it. It was so perfectly balanced between being gentle and exciting, between destiny and action, between grand gestures and quiet moments, and it settled like a warm blanket and I looked forward to every chapter so much.  And then, at the end…it was one of those stories that made me want to add and place to my travel list because the relevant moments are so well located and satisfying that you just want to be there, and it captured this particular instant - the way it wound sound and smell and how the air would feel and the electricity of it - so vividly. Lovely through and through.

Love Is A Human Right by @conscious–ramblings​ - M, 41k - The one where Louis has spent years getting over his ex, Harry Styles, and was almost successful. That is until Harry is elected as an MP, and Louis is given the task of getting him to support an Act of Parliament. Through tears and arguments and a heavy dose of LGBTQ+ politics, their lives finally line up. Will Louis be able to forgive? Will they still want the same thing? It’s difficult to let go of five years of hurt, but even more difficult to be close to the love of your life and let them walk away again.

This fic is basically everything I want in a fic, but together so amazingly well that I would never be able to put into a prompt because it’s the *how* that makes it so perfect. I mean, politics, check, LGBTQ politics, check, larry, check, vivid settings, check, emotional stakes, check, pining, check, everything, check. But the kicker is the beautiful complexity to all of it, that the story really truly understands the complexity of coming out and why people  do and why they don’t and what it mean and how it works and the ways it plays out in queer communities, and these gay leads aren’t incidentally gay, but engaged in identity and politics in a way that feels true and resonant, and that manages to both say really important things about queer communities and tell a beautiful love story about coming to terms with who you are and what you stand for and how love shapes (but doesn’t always determine, and I love that about this fic too) your priorities. Then add some simmering UST and simmering RST (hot damn i mean really) and viscerally, deliciously painful pining and hilarious side plots (SGIL!! Ziam!! Nick’s guessing games!!) and a background story that had my heart twisting for them from the first and settings that felt so real they were popping back into my head for weeks and just…superb. Superb.

a prayer for which no words exist by @elianefics​ - M, 65k - “Louis is a few seconds away from blowing up a rather important section of the New York subway when he sees Harry for the first time.” (part one of the landscapes of war series)

War!AU in NYC! Another one that I will admit fit my interests beautifully but it’s the execution that makes it work so beautifully. From the second they meet, there’s an urgency and fragility to Harry and Louis’ relationship that is a perfect fit for the politics and the newness of it all. At the same time, their connection is so certain and solid, and whether they’re waking up in the Brooklyn penthouse loft that I am still not over or getting ready to run into battle, their love casts everything else into relief and brings out some of he human consequences to why people fight and what they have to gain or lose, and shows what all they’re risking. Left me breathless in the best ways, and so glad to have gone on this journey.

Pull Me Under by zarah5 - NC-17, 140k - AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career,  it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed  relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

This was the fic that tipped me right over the precipice and properly into the fandom; how could I not rec it? Even if I wasn’t personally attached, how could I not rec it? It’s so bloody beautiful, watching Louis come to terms with the idea of being out, and to take steps towards it, and to see how his interactions with Harry change that and what develops between them. The pacing is amazing, the depiction of internalized homophobia is chest-tightening in the good illustrative moving way, the world is so immersive (like I went to get the link and 20 minutes later I was still reading and totally entranced), and their relationship 100% made my heart sing, in both the big triumphant moments and the little ones.

things have gotten closer to the sun by starseas - M, 49k - it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.-when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

I’m not even entirely sure what to say about this fic that won’t give it away or send people running because here’s the thing: it is heartbreaking. It is worth it. It is sad, yes. It is also exhilarating and beautiful and about why love, platonic and romantic, makes the risks worthwhile, and how we know, viscerally know what is important to us. Real talk pt. 1: read it because I had terrible pms and really needed to cry. Real talk pt. 2: it worked, in that very particular way thar also made me sit and think about who and what is really important and had me sobbing in the best, most cathartic way. That lasting, deep way that’s making my chest a little tight just thinking about it, but that also means that I can smell the snow and feel the frost and see the brilliance of the sun and feel the boys’ love as - more - constant than the sun, and what the heck else could you ask for?

These Inconvenient Fireworks by mdasch and everydayslike - NC-17, 190k - Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

this is one of the top ten most affecting things i have ever read in my life. i don’t know how. i don’t know why. i do know that i couldn’t put it down for days and wound up finishing it in a blanket fort on a friend’s couch at 4am, literally doing that feet-kicking thing where you’re so full of feelings you can’t actually physically contain it but have to be quiet and still because the rest of the world is asleep during your emotional revelation. it restored my faith in love and hope. i am still not recovered from the thing on the soccer field at night before the train or the star tattoo or harry taking picture after picture or basically anything about it. clear your calendar if you have to but read this fic and then pls come talk to me about it because like i said i am deeply affected and possibly forever changed.

walk my days on a wire by sunshiner - M, 38.5k - Harry hums, staring at his hands in his lap, and Louis can still feel their smoothness, how solid they were in between his own. “Do you think it’s the same for us? Are we here only because of the likeliness of our jobs? Of our lives?”“We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I’d be in the same spot in every possible universe.  or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.

There’s this one moment in Cannes when they kiss and I both really want to talk about it bc it is amazing and really would not dream of talking about bc you have to go read it yourself. So like the summary suggests, they’re in a fake relationship, and they know that that’s what it’s supposed to be, but of course - of course - there’s more to it than that. Like instantly more in this way that you can feel rolling off the screen, that is about sexual chemistry but also a certain kind of very precious fitting together. Watching them see themselves through each others eyes is beautiful, as is seeing how much it means to them to have someone else who understands the pressured of this rarefied, panopticonic world of celebrity, and who loves and validates the ott celeb performer and the human underneath the facade. It’s interesting to read in the context of this fandom, and entirely universal at the same time - who doesn’t want a partner who can love them at their most extreme and most mundane, most accomplished and most afraid, right in the middle of a stadium or right in the middle of taking up the whole damn bed?

whispering of fields half-sown by @elianefics​ - PG-13, 7k - “And how ironic is it that even now, at the end of all things, Louis’ mere presence makes Harry want to believe that anything is possible again. That the earth isn’t close to collapsing on itself, that the tomorrows are bright and shining and full of promises. Harry hates Louis for giving him something to look forward to when the sky only keeps getting darker. Harry loves Louis for it. ”[All of his boys come back to him in the end, but it’s Louis, Harry has been waiting for all this time.]

heartbreaking, lush, moving apocalypse!fic wherein it is absolutely the case that through fire and water and earthquakes and ice, there is one person Harry needs by his side. There’s Liam and Niall and Zayn, too, and what it would mean for all of them to say goodbye, really goodbye, who they all are and what those friendships mean. And Louis. Oh, Louis. My eyes got mysteriously damp in the really good way, and it made me want to sit down and write just to make words like this. The conversation at the end of this stayed with me like whoa, and my chest is getting a little tight thinking about it again. That may make some people want to X it off the list; think twice before you do. This is worth it.

Young & Beautiful by velvetoscar - M, 227.5k - Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

absolutely beautiful. so vivid i dreamt about it and then went and got a whole bunch of flowers and spent a while wandering around in fancy clothes just because it felt as though i was already living in the story so why not? And how could you not want to be part of this world that is complex and nuanced and subtle and gorgeous (which is not a way i expected to feel about a fic about rich kids btw but this fic makes them so full and the story so engaging that it happened and not only a little). Dimensional characters, wonderful tension, simmering slow burn, complexity, believable and complex psychological motivations,  theme parties, a falcon named cleopatrick, long nights, loaded touches, meaningful subplots, love, resilience. The only possible complaint is it made me want a champagne fountain, and that is not any sort of complaint at all. (lmk if you have a champagne fountain though, it’s been a few weeks and i am really still about wanting to live inside this fic, and also champagne)