#if you're feeling lonely or upset this season come talk to me. i'm here for you

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so this post is inspired by a person who sent an ask to @my-nitpicking-self (i hope you don't mind me tagging you), who mentioned the confrontation between katara and zuko in atla, in reference to glimmer's and catra's relationship in spop. i thought it was an interesting comparison, so i'm going to expand on it.

so two very similar scenes in atla and spop: katara and zuko being stuck together in crystal catacombs and glimmer and catra being stuck together in horde prime's ship. two things to note here - zuko was beginning to heal at this point and had almost completely given up his mission of capturing aang, while catra has just finished conquering salineas and was neck-deep in villainy.

as soon as katara sees zuko, she becomes outraged. keep in mind, zuko did not kill katara's mother. but she still had a valid reason to be mad at him. she holds him accountable for everything he has done.

K: Why did they throw you in here? Oh, wait, let me guess. It's a trap. So that when Aang shows up to help me, you can finally have him in your little Fire Nation clutches!

K: You're a terrible person! You know that? Always following us! Hunting the Avatar! Trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood!

Z: You don't know what you're talking about.

K: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

here, zuko doesn't try to argue with katara until she implies that violence and aggression is an inherited thing, because he's from the fire nation. zuko accepts his mistakes but he is also aware that being a fire nation citizen or even royalty alone doesn't make you a bad person. even then, he doesn't raise his voice or lash out at her, he just calmly disagrees.

after katara mentions her mother, he apologizes and sympathizes with her.

Z: I'm sorry. That's something we have in common.

K: I'm sorry I yelled at you before.

Z: It doesn't matter.

K: It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face.

katara also apologizes but zuko understands that it was completely in her right to blame him. and then we get to the crux of the issue. katara's mother was killed years ago but she still hasn't been able to move on from the grief.

now, of course, zuko again turns back to villainy but this was an important confrontation. and it wasn't the only one. as you all know, after zuko's official redemption, the gaang still doesn't trust him and katara is the last person to forgive him. she is still upset and disappointed by the way he betrayed her after they had begun to bond in the catacombs. and zuko has to prove his loyalty before katara could forgive him.

now let's come to glimmer and catra. catra DIRECTLY caused the death of glimmer's mother. and it was recent. glimmer had been grappling with her grief in the last season, to the point where she spirals into a small corruption arc. s4 of spop does NOT forget angella's death.

so obviously, you would expect there to be a confrontation between glimmer and catra in s5, especially since they were alone together in a confined space. but let's see what happened.

Glimmer: You again. Why do you keep coming back here?

Catra: Just...bored, I guess.

Glimmer: No, I mean, Horde Prime told you not to talk to me. He's gonna catch you eventually. Why risk it? ...You're lonely, aren't you?

so far, no confrontation, no apology.

Catra: What do you know? You're the prisoner here. I can go where I want. So, stay here by yourself for all I care.

Glimmer: Okay, okay, you're right. It...helps having someone to talk to. Even if you're the last person I'd ever want to be stuck here with.

Catra: Trust me, Sparkles, the feeling is mutual.

and just like that, they're on better terms now. glimmer doesn't bring up angella's death, she doesn't bring up the way catra treated adora, how she and bow were kidnapped by catra, nothing. they seem more like casual rivals than enemies here. catra doesn't seem guilty in the slightest, she just has to threaten to leave and glimmer immediately makes her stay.

and not just that, they joke about adora's paranoia that was rooted in her trauma, as if it's just a fun quirk. at this point, it's clear that the writers are not even trying to make it seem like they don't favor catra over all the characters.

and the one time glimmer somewhat confronts catra—

G: Please, Catra. Do one good thing in your life!

C: Don't talk to me like you know me! You don't know anything about me!

of course, catra shuts her down immediately. and afterwards, even when catra saves glimmer, she makes it clear that she's only doing it for adora. while on the surface, this might still come off as a good deed, it's clear from her later behaviour that catra's goal wasn't to help either adora or glimmer. my best guess is that she was practically awaiting death at that point and didn't expect to face the consequences of her actions, so she wanted to go out with one good deed, much like shadow weaver.

it's crazy how zuko, who was just an antagonist and has done very little to directly hurt the gaang, faced the consequences of his actions and got a drawn out and detailed redemption; while catra, who spent the entire series hurting the protagonists out of her own interest, gets off scot-free.

any time her past actions are brought up, they are mentioned in the vaguest terms possible i.e. “she made some mistakes” or “shs hurt people”. it's so clear that the writers were hoping that if the other characters forgot everything that catra did, the audience would do the same. and the worst part is that they're right. 90% of the fandom were willing to accept catra's redemption because no one in the show ever holds her accountable or confronts her properly.

[riacte]

@treebarkweek 2023 Day 3: Saplings / Puppies!

(Probably biologically inaccurate and many creative liberties taken, but a really fun exercise nonetheless!)

One day, years and years after the Fall:

A young, spirited dogwood sapling emerges from the damp spring soil. It cautiously inspects its feeble, thin stalk and bright green leaves. "Well, not bad," it says. "At least winter's over, and spring's arrived."

The sapling doesn't know much, but it instinctively knows spring is the time for rebirth and growth. And so it likes the spring. But not much happens next— the ground is defrosting and it's quiet, but that's it. The sapling is alone, and it starts getting bored.

And then a persistent voice, small and desperate and coming from beneath the sapling:

"Helloooo? Is anybody freakin' there?! I'm so lonely down here!"

The sapling sways, pleasantly surprised. "Oh! Who are you?"

"I'm a rose seedling!" the voice says. "Erm, are you that tall, thin stick next to me? I can't see you!"

The sapling's tiny leaves rustle. "How rude!" it exclaims. "I'm a dogwood sapling, not a stick!"

"Whoops. Sorry." The seedling chuckles awkwardly. "Didn't mean to upset my only neighbour."

"Nah, it's okay. I'm in need of some company, actually."

There's a pause, then the seedling cries out, "Oh high and mighty sapling, at thou great height, do you see any others that may become our friends?" It ends with a hopeful tone.

The sapling feels pretty pleased at being called tall, but unfortunately it can't see anything from its height. "There's a grey stone wall next to me, but it seems to go on forever."

"Oh, really?" The seedling sounds sad. "That's all there is?"

"I guess it's just you and me in this world," the sapling says.

"Just you and me," the seedling echoes dramatically, and the sapling is amused.

"Just you and me, together forever."

"Forever!" The seedling sounds content.

The days pass. Sunshine peeks out from the clouds and covers them with a layer of warmth. Raindrops roll off their leaves and into the ground. It's still very quiet, but the sapling and the seedling talk whenever they can. They're both growing in the spring season, but the sapling grows faster, and is always taller than the seedling.

"I don't like this," the rose seedling declares one day. "I'm anxious! I'm respirating from places I shouldn't be respirating from! You're gonna become so tall that you won't be able to talk with me! You'll leave me, dude!"

"I mean, it's not like I want to!" the dogwood sapling responds. "I'm a tree. You're a bush. That's the way we are, dude."

"I don't like it," the seedling continues stubbornly. "I want to become a tree too. I wanna grow tall and grow old with you, my brother from another sapling."

The sapling holds back a sharp "that's not how it works at all" and indulges the seedling.

"By the way, if you're really a rose, why don't I see a single speck of red from up here?"

"Exsqueeze me?!" the seedling demands. "Art thou questioning my noble character? I'm just an innocent seedling! I haven't grown into a bush yet, let alone grow flowers, geez!"

"Well, one day, I'm gonna become a dogwood, you're gonna become a rosebush, and that's just how nature works," the sapling says briskly.

"And since you're a dogwood, are you gonna grow so tall that you'll be far far away from me?" The seedling sounds sad.

As silly as the rose seedling may be sometimes, the sapling has to admit it likes having it around. "I mean, I don't want to go far away. But it's my nature as a sapling. I have to go up, as high up as I can, get all that good sunshine, and survive. That's what we plants are meant to do. Survive."

"Well," the rose seedling says skeptically. "How about, y'know, making sure our leaves are shiny and our flowers are pretty? And attracting bees and making new friends?"

The sapling considers this. "That's nice, but in order to do that, we've got to survive. That's harder than it seems. You'll see."

The rain and the wind come in one dark night, and both the sapling and the seedling shed leaves. Thankfully, their stems are still strong and intact.

The days pass. They get their energy from the sun, their water from the ground. The sapling sprouts more and more leaves and stretches itself towards the sky.

"I wanna get my flowers," the rose seedling whines. "I wanna look pretty instead of having these ugly thorns and leaves."

"Hmm. You're always pretty to me," the sapling says to comfort its friend.

"Well, thank you," the seedling says eventually. "That's nice. I-I like that you think I'm pretty."

The sun sets, the sun rises. The dogwood sapling and the rose seedling spend their time chatting and enjoying the sunshine. The sapling is pretty glad that despite being close to the seedling, they aren't competing for nutrients with their roots. It'll be a pretty bad thing if their roots intertwine, it supposes.

"Have you ever wondered where we came from?" the rose seedling asks. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Y'know, the secrets of the universe."

"We obviously come from seeds," the sapling says, but now it's curious too. "Tell you what, one day I'll be taller than the stone wall, and I'll see what's outside of it. We'll make our theories when that day comes, okay?"

"Promise?" the rose seedling asks, a little pathetically.

The sapling's leaves sways in the wind. "Promise," it says in reassurance.

They both lose track of time. The sapling gets greedy and wants to get taller and taller. It marks its growth by every stone brick it reaches past. Nutrients are less abundant now, and it becomes a bit of struggle.

"You can have some of mine," the rosebush (not a seedling now) offers. "You need it to grow strong and tall, and I don't think I'll be growing flowers anyway."

Once upon a time, the young dogwood might've stolen from the rosebush, but that was back when it was a wee sapling. The rosebush is the dogwood's loyal (and only) companion. They're good friends. Good friends don't steal from each other.

"Take it," the rosebush insists. "I wanna know what's beyond that grey wall. I'm a useless bush anyway."

"You're not useless," the dogwood says, but finds itself unable to refuse the rosebush's offer. The dogwood thinks it won't ever be able to refuse the rosebush— the dainty, silly, but still wholly sincere rosebush.

So the rosebush shrivels up, and the dogwood flourishes. The dogwood doesn't like seeing its beloved friend suffer. The dogwood drops down its leaves as fertilizer for both of them.

"Stop shedding your leaves," the rosebush says, concerned.

"Then stop giving me your nutrients," the dogwood retorts.

Day by day, the dogwood and the rosebush grow apart. Despite that, they still manage to talk, although their voices grow smaller and smaller from the distance. The dogwood passes brick by brick, and it would've felt more pleased with itself if it could bring the rosebush with it.

One day, the rosebush screams excitedly, "I got a rosebud! I'll finally be pretty!"

"Congrats, dude," the dogwood says from above. It's sincere. "I think I can see it. A small, pink little thing. I'm proud of you."

"And I'm proud of you too. You have to be close to the end of the wall now."

"Yeah." The dogwood's not there yet, but it can see where the grey vanishes and becomes the blue sky. "Remember the pact we made when I was a sapling and you were a seedling? I'll tell you what I see beyond the wall when I reach it. It'll be any day now, I'm sure."

"And we'll magically figure out where we come from. But, y'know, I'm worried."

"About what?"

"That when you're taller than the wall, you'll be too far away to speak to me. Will that be worth it?"

That completely stops the dogwood in its tracks. Its leaves stop moving. "Err. Y-you're making me reconsider my entire life, dude."

"Umm, ignore me then. Don't respirate about it, dude. Keep on growing."

The rosebush gains more rosebuds. The dogwood is getting closer and closer to where the wall ends, its own white buds brimming on its branches. It's exciting, but also weirdly melancholic. The dogwood's life mission is about to be achieved. What will they see beyond the wall? What wondrous sights will they be greeted with?

"I think today's the day," the dogwood announces solemnly. It's a fully grown tree now, handsome and strong, and one of its branches is about to peek over the wall.

"Today's a good day for me too," the rosebush declares. "I think I'm going in full bloom mode, dude! I'm a happy rosebush!"

"Yeah, I think my flowers are ready too," the dogwood says, but it's mostly preoccupied with taking care of its branches. It can't afford to look pretty. The dogwood's branch is about to cross the previously insurmountable stone wall.

"I'm gonna do it," the dogwood promises. "I'll muster up my energy, and I'm doing it."

"Let's go! Ohh, I'm so freaking happy for you, dude. I'll hold your branch in support if I can. We're gonna find out what else is in the world!"

The dogwood's leaves tremble, and then it pushes its branch across the wall—

And nothing.

Nothing at all.

Well, it's not completely nothing. It's just— patches of untamed grass. Some wildflowers. Rocks. And the beautiful blue sky above them. Nothing they haven't guessed already.

The dogwood stares. And stares. When it finally turns back, it stills in complete shock.

Because from above, the dogwood finally sees where it and the rosebush came from.

Two skeletons, half buried by the soil, one plant emerging from each skeleton. The hands of the skeletons are intertwined. Hand in unlovable hand, still together in death. Down there, the rosebush is gazing up at the dogwood, its petals as red as the blood that was once spilled upon the soil that it grew from. The dogwood begins to bloom, soft white petals unfurling, as pure as the colour of snow.

In the dogwood's furious race to grow taller, it neglected to look down and see the whole picture. It didn't realise they were born from the remnants of two humans.

The dogwood wanted to see beyond the wall. The dogwood and the rosebush thought the wall was their ultimate obstacle. But no, they're wrong.

Because the stone wall protects them. What the dogwood wanted to see was within the walls all this time. And what the dogwood actually wants is within the walls.

Because within these walls is the dogwood's home.

And the dogwood's home is where the rosebush is.

-

Well, that was a fun if not wholly scientifically inaccurate writing exercise. Forgive my grammar mistakes because it's late at night haha.

Dogwood sapling Martyn and rose seedling Ren are so precious. I've grown attached now. This is some fantasy plant reincarnation AU I guess.

Thanks for reading! Anyways the dogwood and the rosebush live together happily ever after in the ruins of Dogwarts <3 <3

[hockybish]

Luke had a hard time moving on from Maisie. And it didn't help anything when the reason he found out the reason why she told him she didn't want him anymore was because she thought she was good enough for him.

For a while he'd think about how she must have been feeling pretty low about herself that she began to think that and how he must have been a shitty boyfriend for not noticing it earlier. He was sad and lost. There were a few games left in the season and he was going to try and make the most of it.

After the particular stinging loss to smashville in the shootout. He found himself drivng to her place. He was upset and wanted comfort. He didn't to go to her, it just out of habit and instinct. He still wasn't really paying attention when he climbed the stairs to her apartment and knocked on her door.

"Coming!" Luke could hear her scrambling to the door. He started to grow anxious. Why was he even here.

"Hell-oh Luke its you." The smile left her face when she saw her ex boyfriend.

Once her episode had passed, she regretted what she did. But she felt like it was maybe too late at that point. Would he even take her back if she asked?

"Hi Maisie girl."

There was a awkward pause before Maisie officially invited him inside the apartment. It was like neither of them really knew how to talk to each other again. It was like that day Luke realized Maisie was the cute girl from the previous season and he got all nervous to speak to her.

Funny thing was they each had things they were dying to tell each other.

"Nico told me what you told him. You know, about why." He tested the waters. "I want to say I get how you feel. But I've never felt how you've felt before. And I don't want to invalidate your feelings, because you're allowed to feel them. I understand why you did it, and I'm mad at myself for not being able to help you, when you needed someone. And"

"Luke"

"No let me finish, Maisie. And you are enough. I love every inch of you, and if you'll let me, I'll make sure you know everyday. So can we go back to being us, I miss you and waking up next to you. And I'm a little lonely right now with no Jack."

"I think I jumped into us, too fast, and when everything hit me it felt like too much. I want too go back to us. But I'm scared if we rush this thing it'll happen again. Is it alright if we remain friends for a bit and then resvisit being us again later?"

"I'll take anything I can get"

Maisie smiled, launching herself to give him a hug. She was so relieved to have him agree to be just friends for a bit. Luke was happy again. They spent the rest of the night talking, catching up if you will. Luke ended up staying the night and they both woke up the next morning if weird positions on the couch, they were definetely going sore for the rest of the day.

They didn't care though, as long as they were friends again.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and sorry for cutting off mid rant ladt week. I got ridiculously sick for a few days and then had my aunt over which was what I will generously call a trying time (I love a nice perfume as much as the next person, but not to the extent where I'm afraid to light a candle, lest the place explode). Anyway, not there are things not worth still ranting about, the futility of Buck's storyline being progress for him has kinda been covered, but there are definitely storylines we

should be seeing, but we aren't and probably won't be given the trajectory the season is on. Why can't Madney get any real closure for their relationship or have separate storylines?? Why are Bobby and Athena only allowed to be plot-central if they're solving crimes? Why are we going back to an Eddie dating storyline when I thought that was covered already? Anyway I'll be back to bitch about all this and maybe finish my thoughts on the dumbest Buck arc yet, sorry for being MIA!!

Hello my friend! I was just thinking about you the other day and how I hoped you were well since I hadn't heard from you! I was going to make a post directed at you but got busy trying to get all the online Christmas gifts ordered and finish a Christmas craft, so I'm glad to hear from you!

You're so right that everything just feels like it's not going anywhere or is just repeats of stuff we've already done and I'm soooo tired! I want my show back but until unless they get KR out of the showrunner spot, I don't expect things to improve 🤷🏻‍♀️ (though they *should* be taking note because the response to 6a was....not good). At least the actors are giving good performances with what they're given so there's that! NGL though I'm really looking forward to Lone Star coming back because it's sounding interesting and also I'm (sorry LS) not as deeply invested so I'm happy to just see where things go and have fun with it.

As for Buck, I was going to make a post telling you that I started listing to my Christmas/Winter playlist and WHOOO BOY did I get heated remembering we were robbed for a SECOND year in a row of getting to talk about January White in the context of Buck and getting closure and growth for him. WHEN will he be allowed to be PROACTIVE in his responses to these situations instead of just having to REACT to people using him? WHEN will he be allowed to say "this is making me unhappy, this isn't good for me, and I need to step away" BEFORE the other person already leaves or does something to harm/upset others triggering him to finally say something but never about himself, only in defense of others? Not before there's a fucking BABY to be used for drama later when KR needs to fill time again, that's for damn sure. I thought I would settle a bit but NOPE, every time I think about this damn storyline and how they utterly WASTED the potential it had to be something good and something that let Buck grow, I want to throw things.

ANYWAY, I hope you're feeling better (my cough is STILL hanging around 😩), I hope you're recovering from company, and I hope you're finding joy in something, and getting some relaxation in! Let's all light some manifestation candles for our firefam that they may get screentime and storylines like they deserve, that we actually get to see play out on screen and where they get to have depth and talk to each other again. 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

[jungnoir]

I’ve been tagged in a few types of selfie tags the last few months, but since I only take photos of myself every blue moon when the wind is blowing at exactly 15 mph and I’m not in some severe state of despair, you’re getting all of them at once! (6/7 selfies have a filter on ‘em but it’s ok) since I was also tagged in the selfie/bias tag, here’s a picture of an angel ⇣

here is everyone I know that has tagged me in some sort of selfie tag in the last four months sfoiehifj:

@yongceo @gukhopes @joyfulgem @almondyoongi @sambashua @calemiel  @sunnysidewrites @tendershepherd @daegusoftboys @jinchimsgf

now, I will be tagging these lovely people and as always, let me know if you want me to untag you:

@minigguk (you’ve probably been tagged 8,000 times i’m sorry sihfuesh) @taechubs @jindongdongie and honestly I don’t really know who else to tag so have fun!!!! since I did the selfie/bias tag, the 7 selfies of 2017 tag, and some other ones LOL just pick whichever you wanna do and tag me in it~

[sakura-ame-no-ai]

"bring a jacket next time."

pairings: tetsurou kuroo x reader

genre: fluff

notes: in japan, their way of checking the time is much different than america. they use 24-hour clocks. so if it was 1 in the afternoon, it would be counted as 13:00 for them.

a/n: it felt like some special holiday for me today and i don't know why... but seriously, how is my last kenma fanfic getting so much love istg- anyways, enjoy this fanfiction! i couldn't think of a good title for this on... :sob:

you sneeze suddenly when a gust of wind blows against your legs. it is indeed cold outside, but the shriveled leaves scraping their way down the street makes it seem much colder.

"why does it have to be so cold on a beautiful night like this..," you mutter to yourself, wrapping yourself with your arms.

too bad you didn't contemplate on bringing a jacket with you before bursting through the door with kuroo calling behind you.

well, now you feel a little guilty remembering that you lied to kuroo that you were going to buy some snacks at a nearby konbini. in reality, you just want to spend most of the night searching for some shooting stars.

you make a brief trip to the park, to which you find everything abandoned. that one big red slide that you always see children fighting to have their turn on is now empty and lonely. the swings seem motionless, too. however, they still rock back and forth every now and then when a chilly breeze rushes by. the seesaw is tilted down at an angle, making one side touch the ground full of woodchips.

you search for that favorite brown bench that has legs made out of an elegant black metal of some sort. soon, you discover it sitting under a big maple tree silently. it faces a metal fence that is as high as your waist, which a beautiful view of a huge lake stretches out on the other side of that fence. you don't hesitate to plop down and make yourself comfy on the bench, admiring the wavy reflection of the glittering stars and moon on the water's surface.

you could stare at such a view all day...

well, you would if you had brought a jacket though.

the cold night air wraps around you, trying to embrace you in a friendly way, but all it does is make you shiver and lift your feet onto the bench. you hug your knees and bury your mouth and nose inside your arms and knees, cursing to yourself about why you were stupid enough to not bring some warm clothing before setting out.

"just like i thought," a voice that sounds very familiar booms out from behind you, making you flinch.

you turn your head around to see a bedhair walk up to you with a cheeky grin.

"tetsu?!" you squeal, a little shocked that he actually know exactly where you were. "how did you know i'm here?"

kuroo is bundled up in a scarf and his nekoma jacket. he also has a thick piece of folded cloth draped over his right arm, making you assume that it's probably a blanket.

"i've never seen you that eager to do some shopping at the konbini, kitten," he replies, taking a seat next to you.

"you've always been a fan of sceneries outside, so that gave me an idea."

you give him a look of amazement, awed by the fact that he knows you very well like you're his child or something. however, it isn't long before kuroo bonks you on the head.

"you little rascal~ why didn't you bring a coat? it's like below 25 degrees celsius, and here you are, hanging out at the park, short-sleeved, and without a jacket or coat."

you whimper at his remarks.

"well, you know i was excited, tetsu..," you pout, puffing your cheeks out.

he chuckles, "nobody was blaming you, ok?"

kuroo takes a moment to peel off his nekoma jacket and place it over your shoulders. you gratefully hug it over your shoulders. other than the fact that it smells strongly of that lavender body soap you gave him, the jacket felt warm from kuroo's body heat, making you feel safe.

an unintentional smile slips onto your lips and you readjust your gaze to the sky.

"say... do you think there will be any shooting stars tonight?"

kuroo lifts a brow before fixing his gaze at the sky as well.

"oya? hunting for shooting stars?"

you nod eagerly, continuing to look up attentively.

"mhm! you told me that it's shooting star season!"

the branches of the maple tree above you sway gently, swishing its leaves together to create gentle rustling sounds.

kuroo smiles and points towards one of the stars.

"do you know how stars are formed, n/n?" he asks you, his finger directing your gaze towards the appointed star.

you squint to make a more intricate observation of the star while racking your brain, trying to remember your astrology lessons at school.

"well... don't stars form from accumulated gas and dust in space?" you finally conclude, remembering one fact your teacher has emphasized back then.

kuroo nods happily.

"yep. stars form when the gravity of the dust and air collapse together, which makes them heat up out of pressure."

he continues to ramble on about how stars mostly contain hydrogen and helium, the lightest elements to exist in the universe, and how stars are, in reality, exploding balls of gas.

you listen patiently as he explains. you are always interested in his nerdy science talk, as well as the way he is invested in his own world when a discussion related to a scientific topic arises.

it takes him a little bit to finish his explanation with a sneeze.

of course, he's not wearing his jacket. that's why.

you take off the jacket you were wearing and hand it to him.

"you're gonna catch a cold, so take your jacket back."

however, he pushes it back into your chest.

"no, kitten. you have it. i'm worried about you more."

you begin to pout, angry that he's always caring for your health instead of his own.

"no, kuroo," you say with an upset look. "this is not my jacket."

you two begin fighting about who should wear kuroo's jacket, exaggerating the possibilities of not wearing one and lecturing one another.

"that's it," kuroo sighs, looking troubled.

at first, you are confused by his words.

"what do you m-"

it was at this moment that kuroo covers the blanket that you forgot he had brought onto his back and then trapping you inside his arms, wrapping your body inside the blanket.

"there, now we're both warm," he smirks.

you take a while to understand the situation you're currently in before blushing madly. you look up at him, only to see that usual proud smirk on his face. he obviously did this on purpose.

"tetsu?! what the actual hell?!" you scream.

"oya? anything wrong?" he asks a little too 'innocently', pissing you off.

you growl back, "of course, you dumbass! people might see us and take this to like a million different wrong directions!"

"kitten, it's almost half-past 23:00. it's really unlikely that we'll be seen since most people are asleep."

you can't counter back, because that sly cat is right. most people are asleep at this time, so it's highly unlikely that you'd get caught like this with kuroo.

you have no idea how to react, so you decide to lean your back against kuroo, resting your head on his chest. at least, you realize that you feel much warmer than wearing his jacket. in the end, you start to relax, paying closer attention to the steady rise and fall of his chest while he breathes.

"do you ever see stars as memories when you look at them?" you ask kuroo, tilting your head upwards to meet his gaze.

"sometimes," he smiles, looks at one of the stars.

"like that one near that giant cloud reminds me of when i stole your meat from your lunchbox."

you cough.

"do you think this is a great time to bring this up??"

he only smirks at you. "you asked if i get reminded of anything when i look at a star."

you pout a little and fix your eyes to another star and point your finger towards it.

"well, this one reminds me of when yaku beat your ass for stealing meat from my lunchbox."

you two begin talking back and forth, saying which star represented which memory, laughing about the old days, and fighting about various things, like who should've gotten to eat that scrumptious piece of steak.

as you come back to argue about the lunchbox situation again, a white streak catches your eyes, snapping your attention back to the sky.

"look, tetsu! shooting stars!" you exclaim.

what kuroo turns his head to look at the sky with you.

sure enough, more streaks of white rain down like a slight drizzle.

"hurry up! make a wish!" you tell him before clasping your hands together before your face and close your eyes.

kuroo looks at you, then back at the sky. after a while, he closes his eyes and makes his wish.

i want to stay by y/n's side, even after i graduate.

however, he doesn't say it out loud. instead, he wraps his arms around your chest after you have finished making your wish.

for the first time in forever, kuroo gives you the most genuine smile that you've ever seen, which surprises you since you're so used to his cheeky smirks. it reminds you of honey and its sweet flavor.

"you know, kitty, we could do this next time," he coos in the sweetest voice you've ever heard him use.

"did you think i'd stop you?"

"ummmm..."

you look side-ways towards the tree beside you before give him your honest response.

"weeeeell, i thought you'd tell me it'd be too late into the night to do something like this and that i wouldn't be able to wake up if i stay up star-hunting."

kuroo chuckles, petting your head lightly with that big hand of his

"things like this are exceptions."

your eyes light up to his words. he has officially announced the permit to stay up searching for shooting stars that you adore a lot. it makes you very happy that you smile back warmly.

"thank you, tetsurou," you sigh, leaning into his chest comfortably.

"it's nothing, y/n."

he continues to stroke your hair in a soothing way as he maintains that genuine smile on his lips.

"just bring a jacket next time, or star-hunting will be off-limits."

[misstrashchan]

MATHIAS

I can't stay there any longer. I know you love your mum, but I can't leave you with her. You remember what we talked about?

HARI

Mumma isn't very well?

MATHIAS

Sort of. She doesn't like to be alone. It's okay now while you're little, but you're a smart wee chappy, Hari. There's a lot of opportunities that she would keep you from.

No but I love how they've been sowing the seeds throughout the season of how there's Something Off about Niyathi in such a subtle way that's initially easy to disregard yet still lingers and creeps up on us.

Like, for both Lockie and us, the audience, hear Niyathi say she wouldn't let Hari leave the Island even when he's older here:

LOCKIE

He's a smart boy. You know, he could go to a university on the mainland.

NIYATHI

There's plenty for him to learn here, and it won't bankrupt us.

LOCKIE

You think that'll be enough for him?

NIYATHI

His destiny is here. We both know that.

And it's easy to overlook the unnerving implications of this at the time because Lockie quickly follows up with a joke to change the subject:

LOCKIE

Oof, I wish I'd had a destiny at his age. I might not have ended up the way I did.

And when Wee Mary says this about Niyathi:

WEE MARY

Niyathi is weird, and I do not trust her.

Again, it's easy to brush aside for Lockie and for us, because Wee Mary is extremely drunk when she says this.

Then there's Amy, Lockie's own daughter calling Niyathi a "psycho bitch":

AMY

Playing happy families with some psycho bitch.

Which Lockie and the audience can see as just Amy being angry and frustrated with her father feeling as if she and her mother have been abandoned and replaced, that she doesn't really know Niyathi.

LOCKIE

Hey, hey, look, look! Anger on me, okay? She's not a bitch.

And Mathias telling Lockie that Niyathi is too selfish to love him:

MATHIAS

(spits)

Enjoy my leftovers, arsehole. She's too selfish to love you.

LOCKIE

Oh, she wasn't that selfish with me, pal.

Which is incredibly easy for Lockie and us to overlook or misintepret because it's, yknow, coming from Mathias of all people, whose just kind of an arse. With the context of episode nine however you get a better picture of what Mathias actually meant by this. She gets lonely very easily, so she'll do anything to keep those close to her from ever leaving:

LOCKIE

(awkwardly)

Niyathi, what are you doing here?

NIYATHI

Well, this morning’s introduction was... awkward. If Amy gets to know us she'll feel differently. Besides, we brought homemade scones, who could resist us?

LOCKIE

Oh, that's great... Look, it’s it's just Amy and I- Things are difficult.

NIYATHI

(upset)

You're going to leave us, aren't you? I knew you were too good to be true, Lockie.

LOCKIE

What? No!

NIYATHI

I thought what we shared was pretty magical. Worth sticking around for?

LOCKIE

Hey! Niyathi, come on. This isn't about you. I had a, a phenomenal time last night.

[NIYATHI STARTS TO CRY]

(Episode 8, Family)

MATHIAS

(shaking)

Hari is in danger, Niyathi. Put the knife away and let me save our son.

NIYATHI

What? So you can take him away from me again?

MATHIAS

You would have never let me see him! What option did I have?

NIYATHI

(cold)

Why would he need to see you? He has me.

MATHIAS

Because I'm his father, and you can't change that...

NIYATHI

Says who?

[A THUD. A SICKENING SQUELCH]

MATHIAS

(raspy)

You... you stabbed me? You're insane!

(Episode 9, Forgiveness)

And as much as I loved Mathias as a character, Niyathi might just be overtaking him as my new problematic favourite character in this series. I love that Niyathi has this obsessive, unhinged side to her, because before at the beginning of the story, I wasn't really sure what to make of her character beyond "cute and quirky single mum who is the protagonists main love interest and the deuteragonist's best friend" which is fine, but kind of... boring? Considering she's so involved with both Andromeda and Lockie who are at the centre of the story, I want there to be some flaws, a way to challenge and be challenged by the other characters. And I love that it's also completely understandable why Niyathi is like this, living her whole life in an small community cut off from everything else, rarely getting the chance to meet anyone, pressured into a marriage she didn't want, having to pretend to be something she wasn't, partly living in the shadow or seen as second best to Andromeda. It really fleshes her out and makes her a much more dynamic and interesting character.

[monsterfloofs]

The Ghost in the Parlor (Sfw and anonymous protagonist!)

It was one in the morning when you rose from bed, sliding on a pair of slippers and feeling your way through the dark to exit your room. The sound was faint, barely audible, but you knew. . .

He was playing tonight.

As you weave your way towards the stairs, you could hear the chords beneath you, the stirring voice of a piano pulling you through dark corridors. As you stop and peer over the banister. You can see from up above, candles alight with a ghastly blue fire. Their light casting eerie wisps of shadows to dance upon the floor. In the middle of this spectral scene was a luminous form sitting at the old grand piano. His spindly fingers like spiders upon the keys, procuring the tune that wafted up the stairs. The sound is sweet and melancholic, mourning things that have been lost, and the ever present march of time. Always moving, never relenting.

You knew all this because you had asked him, it was his favorite tune to play. He played it often and there were times where you could almost feel his deep rooted bittersweet sadness. Tears would spring to your eyes and you would have to mop your face with your sleeve. Tonight the song felt especially lonely and with careful footing you crept down the stairs, your shadow timidly trailing after.

"Have I disturbed you?" His melodic voice intones as you sit down beside him. "No, I came to hear you play, if you would have me as company mister Sterling." "Sleep is for the living" he sighs wistfully, "You should be asleep, dreaming sweet dreams of tomorrow." 

He talks to you but his hands, ah his quick and nimble hands keep playing. You watch them sweeping across the keys, mesmerized until he stops. You blink and look up at him. His face is turned towards yours, an eyebrow quirked inquisitively. "A little distracted, were we?" You smile sheepishly, "Ah, yes, I'm sorry, but your hands do work magic. What had you been saying?"

He gives an embarrassed huff, "It's late is it not?" They pale eyes staring at you unblinkingly from beneath round vintage glasses. "Well yes," you reluctantly agree, "But I have missed your nightly performances. And I was hoping you could give me another lesson tonight." You say softly as he flexes his long spindly fingers. "Ooh. . . perhaps. You have always been kind to me. Letting me keep you up at odd hours of night with my prattling."

"You know I would stay even if you didn't give me a lesson. Your music is beautiful." He turns his head away from you, but you can see a hazy pink color introduce itself onto his countenance. When he turns back the color has all but bled out, except for some swirling traces. "I have had nothing but time to perfect it. Though as despairing as it may be, to watch seasons pass without being able to participate in the world, I still have my music. I wonder, is it what holds me here? Is my comfort my cage? Alas-- Dear, aren't you going to put your hands to the piano? You did ask for a lesson you know."

You look up at him before doing as he asks. Aligning your fingers to the keys, "I thought you were still deciding. . ."  "Oh," they respond absentmindedly, "Don't mind me, I'm particularly lost in my thoughts tonight, death, life, it's all just one big mess. . ." Sterling rambles on talking about music as you sit together playing chords and sections of songs. As you are still learning the basics he keeps things simple, most of the time you are echoing his voice on the piano or remembering notes and chords. But he has seems to have become happier with having someone he can talk to, rather than to stew lost in his own thoughts.

"You are doing quite well," A pleased smile tugging on his lips, his crinkled eyes twinkling. "Have you been practicing?"  "A little. . . Not as much as I would like though." You slid your hands onto your lap and smile. "Thank you for the lesson, I appreciate you taking the time to sit with me and do that. I hope I'm not inconveniencing you."

"Of course not," he sniffs, "I. . . am very fond of your company." There was something with the way he said it, that stirred your heart. You can feel your own face grow a little warm, "I'm glad. . . haha." He glances at you, his hands poised to begin playing again. You swallow hard and press on, "Though I h-have to admit, I am more than a little fond of you."

--BADOOM His hands slip hitting the keys too hard and causes a loud blunder of noise. Practically falling off his chair, Sterling’s hands shielding his face in embarrassment. "I-I. . .WHAT?" He stammers, your eyes widen that he reacted so dramatically. "I just meant that, I c-care about you a lot--" The candles snuff out around and you are suddenly plunged in darkness. The ghost has left the building. 

Your head flops into the piano, a few keys playing as your face presses into them. You give a groan of defeat Dammit! Way to go, you probably just killed him. . . AGAIN. Despite his usual stuffy demeanor he can get easily flustered. He tries to hide it under a punctual and proper air, but was a much shier person than he let on. You liked that about him though, there were little things that he did that just enchanted you. He was a deep thinker, and he always took the time to explain things and be patient with you. So of course, you had to go and fall in love with a ghost. You had been trying to gather the courage to tell him your feelings for about a week now. Slowly working your way towards the right words you say. But like music, timing was just as important as the notes. To be honest you had gotten so nervous you are sure you had fumbled in both regards. You sigh heavily, best head to bed, perhaps you can try and talk to him tomorrow.

You slink away in defeat, retiring to your chamber until sunlight streams through your window. Leaving a dappled trail of light and warmth inside your room. You grumpily turn over in bed, refusing to move until you have properly sulked for just a little while longer. Trying to wrack your brain how you were going to approach the ghostly pianist now. With Sterling being so shy, you weren’t sure if his reaction was bad or good. Only time will tell, but in the meantime you're up and making breakfast. Then busying yourself with doing chores around the house and trying not to let your mind settle too much into last night. You go about whiling away the hours until sunset. That's when Sterling becomes active inside the house. You don’t exactly know where he goes during the daytime. You have attempted in the past to nonchalantly snoop around in the basement but to no avail. 

Before you know it, the sun is setting in the sky. Golden light filtering across the floor, flooding the rooms with dying light. You peer into the parlor, and step inside. Running your hands over the black and white keys. You can feel a faint prick on the back of your neck, you turn around and You startle, coming face to face with the musically inclined ghoul. You put a hand on your heart. "Oh my goodness!-- Sterling!" you sigh weakly, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. “Hello,” He murmurs faintly, you look up at him, feeling suddenly shy. All this time you had been waiting to talk to him, and now only an awkward silence fills the room. Both of you starting to speak at the same time.

“I’m sorry, what were you going to say?”

“N-no that’s alright, please, continue”

“Aaah-- why don’t you go first, I was the person who upset you last night”

A hand flutters anxiously to the glasses upon his crooked nose. "You didn’t upset me. You, w-well surprised me. I  was flattered, but I don’t think you truely want anything to do with this old goat." "H-huh? What do yo--" He cuts you off with a flourish of his hand. "I'm an old man dear, not just old, decrepit. I died in 1839, my bones are buried outside, wouldn't that bother you?" His face flushes an eerie pink and he splutters in embarrassment. "I mean, it should bother you. . . " A light bulb blinks on in your head and you stare at him with new found insight. "Y-you, like me too, don't you. . ." "I beg your pa--" "It was you, wasn’t it?" With a rush of feeling, you practically jump a foot off the ground from excitement. "I was always wondering about those poems left on the door step-" your mouth goes agape. "And those flowers!" His eyes dart back and forth in a panic, his mouth wobbling. "W-what??? Me? I don't know anything about that!" You can tell he's wanting to bolt and you make a grab at one of his translucent hands. Surprisingly your fingers successfully curl around it and his shoulders jerk up. Trying to calm yourself down before trying to talk to him. You were spooking him, a novel thought, but not what you had been intending to do. So you take a different approach, "Why. . . didn't you ever tell me?" The specter is sweating bullets now, he mops his brow with a wispy handkerchief. "I-I” he groans in defeat, “A ghost cannot do romance! A ghost cannot do much of-- of anything! No matter how I felt, I couldn't keep you here, you deserve to be free, to experience life to the fullest. Not to be shackled to me and this house." You flush, truly surprised by his answer. "But, I don't want anyone else, I like you. . ." Tentatively you take his hands and hold them gently in your own. His expression quivers, looking down before he gently pulls away. His fingers wisping through your skin before reconstructing themselves back together. He puts a hand into his breast pocket before he pulls out an envelope with a flowery wax seal. He looks away from you but hands you the letter, his expression flushing as that same red color is introduced into his normal pale blue complexation. You look up at him searchingly before you gently take the letter. The smooth paper has a fragrance like all the rest of the notes you recieved, like roses and vanilla. You carefully peel back the floral seal, opening the envelope.

You watch Sterling lights the candles at the table in the parlor. It has been a week since the two of you had become a couple, and you cannot remember a happier time, then the hours you have spent together. “Didn't you say, a ghost cannot do romance?” You tease him with a smile, your eyes crinkling as you watch him with a loving gaze. He huffs softly, "That I did, and I wish more than anything I could take you to a fine dinner out of this house. . . " He pinches the wick of one last candle, and when he removes his hand, an enchanting blue fire flickers to life. “I think a candlelit dinner at home is just as lovely.” He looks at you for a moment, before he gives a little smile, “If you say so darling.” “I do.” He bends down to give you a chilly peck on the forehead before he sits down at his piano, flexing his fingers before he begins to play. The blue lights of the candles flickering to the sound of his haunting melody. But the tone has changed, no longer lachrymose. You can hear something happy stirring in the song that projects itself out of the house, and into the starlit sky.

[whumpmatsus]

Hi hi !! So I know you just finished season 2 and I'm glad you loved it!! I have a whump idea I wanted to share with you regarding Totoko's and Oso's talk (the "Am I still Osomatsu?) When I first watched that episode, Totoko's "Oh Osomatsu you'll NEVER be a decent human being" really fucking STUNG and I was like," What a horrible thing to say to someone who obviously wants to try to change."

I was thinking of maybe Oso's inner monologue after her words. Obviously in the anime he just brushed off like "lol you're right" but I headcanon/theorize that he took that shit deeper. he vented out his frustrations to someone, only for them to say," Well youll2 always be a shitty person so :/" It's hard to see him sit there and be like "Yeah, I guess so." And that's it for the conversation.

Obviously you can take your time with this, i know you have quite the backlog rn!! This is just something I wanted to talk about and thought it be a perfect whump idea!!

*cracks knuckles* boi this has been a LONG time coming and it’s a bit on the short side but it’s finally done!!!

super side note but honestly, I think a big part of that talk was Totoko trying to make him feel ‘normal’, trying to make him feel like Osomatsu again, but... I also think that was the wrong way to do it, you know? she did tell him he could decide things for himself and basically decide that he’s still Osomatsu, but there were better ways for that to be done

like I think it’s so fucking sad to see someone who’s trying so hard to change and be the best version of themself they can be, and who’s obviously in a lot of emotional pain and tell them they’re never gonna be a good person, like I believe she meant well but didn’t account for the fact that her trying to make him feel normal means making him feel like the way things used to be, meaning that he’d just get more stuck in wanting everything to go back to how it used to be, instead of trying to figure how to make sure his relationships with his brothers would mature while still carrying the same love they always did

I also think, maybe it wasn’t the right thing for him to respond with, but Osomatsu is the oldest of SIX, he’s used to shoving his feelings down to make sure he’s not an emotional burden on his brothers. he’ll whine and bitch and moan when it’s little things, but if he’s really distressed and hurting, he puts on a happy face and pretends he’s fine, so his little brothers don’t worry about him

and I think he’s used to doing that with other people too, especially Totoko, he knew the response she wanted so he gave it to her, so that she wouldn’t feel like she hadn’t helped or she wouldn’t get upset, because at least if he does that, there won’t be two upset people now

but at the same time, there is no way my boy didn’t internalize that shit, he just feels like he can’t let anyone know how bad he’s hurting and how heavy he feels right now

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF ME BABBLING, HERE’S SOME SAD OSO FOR YOU, AND HONESTLY I VERY MUCH RELATE TO SOME OF HIS FEELINGS AND SHIT SO I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG AND A KISS AND TELL HIM IT’S OK AND THAT HE’S NOT A BAD PERSON <3

-

It’s started to rain again.

Totoko walked Osomatsu home after the downpour stopped the first time, but now he finds himself out here again, farther from the center of the city. There’s a bench and a lamppost and not a whole lot of anything else.

There are no other people around right now, and honestly, that’s the way he thinks he prefers it at the moment.

Part of him doesn’t know why he’s out here. The other part of him knows exactly why.

At least the weather matches his current mood. The best thing about this is that finally, finally he’s feeling something again, even if it’s sad or upset or however the hell he’s feeling. Even though he thought he was happy in the beginning, with his new job and sense of pride in trying to take care of his family, it’s eroded over the last few weeks.

Up until now, he started to feel empty. Lonely. Like he wasn’t anything anymore because he was beginning to be his own person.

Dwelling on it all now, he thinks maybe that scared him, so his brain flipped some kind of switch to shut off all his feelings, including the fear.

Of course, that’s not all he’s dwelling on. As much as some of Totoko’s words helped, her telling him that he could decide things for himself and joking around to make him feel almost normal again, some of them stuck in his mind in a less positive way.

“Oh, Osomatsu, you’ll never be a decent human being!”

He doesn’t know if she was saying that to tease him or make him laugh. Did she mean it for real? Is that what she actually thinks?

He remembers there was a pause after that. A long, drawn-out quiet where neither of them said anything. Time between them froze and it could have so easily shattered in the icy after-rain.

She could have spoken up during that pause, he thinks. If she didn’t mean it, if she was just trying to get a smile out of him, she could have quickly apologized. Done a backpedal and, “Fuck, I’m sorry, that was a dumb joke” or something.

If it was just that she misspoke ― because he gets it, sometimes shit gets mixed up in your brain and you accidentally string together words that weren’t supposed to go together ― she could have said that it came out wrong. There would have been some clarification of what she actually meant; some bullshit about how a job isn’t what makes someone a decent person or even proper. Is that what she meant? He could see that making more sense.

Or maybe it’s just Totoko’s way of saying that he’ll always be Osomatsu no matter what. He’s known her since they were kids, for God’s sake, and she’s always been a little mean, a little manipulative, a little harsh, but… she was never the type to kick him while he’s already down.

He doesn’t even know anymore. Everything’s changing, so maybe she’s changing too? It feels like nothing is the same as it used to be. Not him, not her, not any of his brothers or even his parents or even this fucking town.

Things have changed for him, at least. It feels like the whole world is collapsing in slow-motion around him, so how can anything still be the same at all? Is it really just him?

He sits down on the bench, fishing in his pockets for the handkerchief Totoko gave him earlier. He doesn’t even really know why he kept it, other than that he mopped up his tears with it under the guise of wiping rainwater off his face, and she didn’t ask for it back. It makes him feel a little less jittery to play with it in his hands.

The rain now is heavier than it was earlier. It’s soaking into his hair and clothes, dripping off him like he’s just another fixture on the sidewalk. He’s getting drenched, he’s probably gonna end up with a crappy cold, and he doesn’t even really care.

Does he care about anything anymore…?

… Seriously, Osomatsu, back it up here. Do you care about anything? You’re sitting out in the rain, freezing your balls off. You’re gonna catch a cold. Do you care that you might have to call out sick from work? Do you care that you’re gonna be stuck in bed for a week, coughing and sneezing your brains out? What if you manage to spend five minutes with one of your brothers, and you get them sick too? Would you care about that? Huh? You care about the possibility of getting your baby brothers sick?

Fuck, man. You Goddamn asshole. Is there anything you do care about?

Do you care about Mom and Dad? Mom who’s been running herself ragged cooking and taking care of Dad, who just got out of the hospital a couple months ago because he’s been working too hard?

You care about all that? You care about them? You cared enough to finally get off your ass and get a job, right?

Why didn’t you care before now? Before you were scared that Dad was gonna die? You didn’t care enough to get a job or help around the house or even go to school. All you ever did was sit around the house eating and drinking and pissing your allowance away on pachinko. Before now it wasn’t even your money, it wasn’t your brothers’, it was all whatever Mom and Dad gave you.

You’ve been out of high school for like eight years now, and you didn’t have a job till like three months ago. What changed, huh? Why didn’t you ever do any of this shit before? How come you didn’t care enough then? You know why.

Because you’re a selfish, lazy piece of shit. If you cared at all about anyone other than yourself before now, you did a bad job of showing it.

What kind of shitty big brother and eldest son are you?

Come on. Totoko wasn’t joking. She didn’t pick the wrong words.

All she did was say what everyone else already knows.

You’re never going to be a good person.

He twists the handkerchief in his hands, and hurries to bring it up to his face. There’s no one around, but he feels like he has to hide it anyway. Rub away all the tears, like they were never even there.

Because Matsuno Osomatsu doesn’t cry. He doesn’t have real feelings. He doesn’t care about anything except himself. He doesn’t feel sad or lonely or guilty.

This is just another example, isn’t it? He wants more than anything to see Ichimatsu for more than a couple minutes before he goes back to sleep because he has to work at night, or to hug Choromatsu for more than however long it takes to dry off at the bathhouse because they happened to go on the same night, or to talk to Jyushimatsu instead of staring at him while Osomatsu tries to drift off to sleep because his little brother crashes as soon as he gets home.

And he can’t, and he can’t even really think about asking any of them when they’re free, because that’s so selfish. Missing them is selfish. Whatever free time they have, it’s theirs. They’re all content like this. If they weren’t, one of them would have complained by now.

Karamatsu and Totty are the most sociable of them all, both of them desperate for attention. If they aren’t craving time with their brothers, everyone else must be happy.

It’s just Osomatsu who’s being an egomaniac, wanting everything to be like it used to. Even though he didn’t think it was that bad at first, he supposes it was inevitable.

He was happy with his job. He was happy to be contributing to society in some small way, happy to get paid and grab a beer and some food after work and enjoy the sunset even if it had to be by himself.

His job is still great. A beer and some food is still great. Even the sunset is still great.

It’s the ‘by himself’ part he can’t take anymore.

And there’s the problem. He can’t take that his brothers have their own lives, so cruel that he wants to rip them from their new jobs and friends and hobbies and hold them close to him again. Just so he won’t be alone.

He curls up tighter, throwing his arms around himself. It’s not the same. He wants his little brothers to hug him, and to hug them back, and kiss them on the cheek, and stroke their hair and sing to them when they can’t sleep, and argue with them about who stole something at breakfast, and playfully shove each other as they fight for the TV remote, and just sit there in each other’s company without having to say anything. He wants to have brothers again.

All this effort he’s put into trying to do the right thing, trying to be responsible and proper… has it really all been for nothing? Is he still the same horrible, lazy, selfish person he always has been despite trying so hard not to be?

If nothing has really changed, why is everything so different?

If I’m never going to be a good person no matter what I do…

― Then what the fuck is the point?

He sees cherry blossoms washed into the puddles on the street, helpless and dirty and ruined. Once so beautiful and full of life, still kind of recognizable, torn to hell by the pressure as they float, ready to be drowned, maybe hoping they still have a chance.

But it doesn’t stop raining.

And he still doesn’t feel like Osomatsu.

[liljungie]

$OLD sequel | Kim Taehyung one shot

Pairing: [mafia leader] taehyung x reader

Trigger warnings: angst / mention of guns, blood/ SMUT SMUT SMUT (I advise you to take a bath in holy water after this)

Word count: 2650

Masterlist $OLD part 1

The sequel is Requested by: @taetaeobsessed thank you so much for your support cutie!

A/N: this is the 3 time I write an ACTUAL smutty part so PLEASE don't criticize me I'm still learning any feedback is acceptable but please don't be harsh.

_

The whole ride to taehyung's mansion you felt numb.

Taehyung took you back to your house to grab your things, not that you had anything valuable he insisted that you to grab your stuff, his body guards got out before you and pointed a gun at your mother and Christopher who were shell shocked seeing you walk behind these two men.

Your mother cried calling your name you kept walking to your room trying not to look at her because you knew you were going to break, one of taehyung's men followed you to your room and stood near the doorframe as he eyed you packing a few things.

You took the sweaters you loved to wear and your favourite jeans, you weren't ready to wear luxury clothes that taehyung said he'd buy you so these should be enough for now.

Your hands were shaking trying to compress your sobs, you could hear Christopher cursing and yelling at the body guards you closed your eyes and trembled when you heard one of guards load the gun.

You tried your hardest to block your mother's cries then the guard startled you and told you to hurry up you closed the small bag that had your things in and carried it, the body guard moved to the side letting you walk infront of him and following you his gun still pointing to your head incase you tried to escape.

"Please dont take her please!" Your mother sobbed when she saw you in the hallway, taehyung was leaning on the wall near the door smirking at Christopher "you're a scum! a murder! fuck you!" Christopher spits at taehyung, taehyung only smirks more when his guard hits the old man with the back of his rifle.

You look away not baring to see any of this, it didn't feel real at all, you kept pinching your hand hoping that this was one of your hallucinations when you got drunk but you weren't waking up the pinchs stung your skin and it just upsets you more knowing that this is all real.

"Don't be giving me that face..you brought this on yourself" taehyung says chuckling after he spoke "didn't whoever sent you to me warn you that I'm not a man to be messed with?" He leans closer to your stepfather locking his eyes with him, taehyung's stare was definitely stronger and filled with confidence while your stepfather eyes were filled with sadness.

You can't believe that he actually felt remorse, you can see regret written across his face and that for some reason eased your aching heart, now you know that he actually felt something, you wished it happened sooner way sooner and not like this.

Your mother was almost unconscious from how much she cried you can see how her face was swollen and her eyes seemed lifeless as she looks at taehyung with loathe.

Taehyung stepped away from Christopher and scoffed "you should be thankful that I took her and not your life hmm? Think about that at least, it's not so bad after all you're still breathing" then taehyung started to clap his hands together "I congratulate you my friend, you lasted longer than the other peasants" taehyung smirked and placed his hands back into his pockets "now you have a good life...and try and not miss ____ because she's in my hands now" taehyung leaned closer and whispered into Christopher's ear "she's all mine" he let out a laugh and walked out of the house then the guard lightly shoved you to start walking.

You could feel the tears start in your eyes but you tried to ignore them as you followed taehyung to the car and shortly after the two guards that were holding your parents got in the car and taehyung's driver took off at the speed of light.

You wanted to shout for help from the top of your lungs, you wanted to scream you wanted to kick the door and just run far away from taehyung and your stepfather, but you knew it wouldn't be that easy no one could stand in taehyung's way, you didn't need to know him well enough to know what he's capable of, looks were always deceiving but not when it came to him, you know what you're in for the moment you cross paths with him and boy oh boy your path seems to darken a bit more every inch you're away from your small broken home...

_

Living in taehyung's mansion was...peaceful to say the least.

it's been 5 months you felt like a maid rather than a prisoner, you cooked, cleaned vacuumed.

You had nothing else to do and taehyung left really early in the mornings and came back at midnight, some days you never saw him at all.

Which you were thankful for, he didn't bother you at all nor did he touch you, the minute you walked through these door you and him separated and never talked to him since that night at the bar you used to work at.

Until one night you were in the living room you turned all the lights in the mansion off,you were watching a TV show you found randomly and you started to like it and started watching it ever since even though you missed the first episodes, maybe seasons even but it was the only thing you could do to pass time.

You fell asleep as you were exhausted from cleaning the mansion all by yourself, the loneliness was unbearable no wonder taehyung is messed up, living alone for 5 months almost drove you insane you didn't know how taehyung was doing it since he hit puberty.

_

Taehyung shoulders slumped finally he is home but when his car neared the mansion he felt his heart sink...why were all the lights off?

Did someone break in?

Did you runaway?

Did something bad happen to you?

Where did his guards go?

So many questions raced through his mind and the thought of you being in danger or hurt made him lose his mind even more he stopped the car as soon as he passed the mansion gates and ran to the front door getting his gun out and busted the doors open not knowing where to point the gun at but he was already aiming at something

when you heard the doors open in such away you screamed and jumped from the couch and faced the door and that's when you saw taehyung pointing a gun at you, you raised your arms up surrendering.

"It's me!" You spoke rather loudly.

Both of you had your eyes wide open and your heart was beating uncontrollably.

"_____? What the fuck?" You heard him mutter lowering his gun,you roll your eyes and went to pick up the blanket that was on the floor now from when you jumped.

"I should ask you that..." you spoke while you folded the blanket and then looked at him "you almost ruined your front doors"

He sighs putting the gun away then he rubs his temples "thought someone broke in" you scoff "you live in the middle of nowhere there's no way that that's possible" you start to walk away your shoulder brush against his arm and that's when you feel his grip on your wrist as he turns you to face him.

"I'm sorry if I..." you hear him sigh "scared you" he says licking his lips then looks up at you, you stared at him a bit taken back but then you nod your head "it's okay..." you pull your arm away from his grip and make your way to the bedroom that was now yours.

Your skin burned where he touched and you could feel your insides turn and crunch but you brushed it off, you blamed it on the loneliness and nothing else.

And ever since that night when you woke up you saw taehyung on the dinning table with breakfast prepared and ready for you.

He smiles at you warmly and talks to you while both of you eat then he leaves for work.

Your bond with him slowly was starting to build up and you didn't know how you felt about it, but it's not like you had any other choice.

But talking to him felt...nice, it was comfortable and he never did or said something that rubbed you the wrong way and with time you even started to joke and laugh with each other, you didn't feel as lonely as you used to and you started to like it here.

He told you about his past and the things he did and how sometimes things just went out of his control and that he is a human too and that everyone makes mistakes, you even saw him in a different light and knew that he was doing what he grew up thinking was right and he only did it to please his father who also was cooperating in this business til this day.

...

Taehyung came home one night and blood was dripping from his hands and it was all over his clothes and shoes.

His eyes where empty of emotions it made you worried about him "what happened?" You asked frantic, you never saw him like this before, if you didn't know him you'd be terrified of him.

He didn't answer you, he was shaking slightly and his face was smeared with blood maybe even tears you didn't know but it looks like it.

you ran him a warm bath and told him to sit in the tub while you washed the blood away he was staring at you, you didn't understand the look he had in his eyes but it was warm and it sent shivers down your spine and you could feel the butterflies turn round and round in your stomach.

You were done wipping the blood from his face and you washed his soft dark hair and came to turn to wash his back but that's when he held your hands and stopped you.

"Stay like this with me for a little" he spoke quietly, you're not sure if you heard him or not but you felt like you were in a trance.

The way he was looking at you made it so hard for you to decline so you stayed, your hands were locked together on the edge of the bathtub.

"_____?"

"Hmm?" You hummed as you stare at the water that slowly covers his long legs.

"Get in the bath with me...I'm cold"

Your head shot up and you stared at him

"But the water is warm" you told him he shakes head "no...I want you"

You sigh and come to strip off just from your pajamas but he stops you and tells you to just get in and you oblige he makes you sit in his lap facing him and he cuddles you, resting his head on your chest with his eyes closed.

You run your fingers through his hair smiling, you never saw him like this it sure was amusing "are you okay tae?" You asked after a few moments he nodded you smiled more when you heard him say "now I am"

He pulled away and creased your cheek softly his eyes looking in yours then you see a small smile make it's way onto his beautiful face then his eyes travel lower staring at your lips then back up at you.

You heart was hammering against your ribcage and you wanted to run and hide away from how much you were blushing.

"_____ can I... kiss you?" Taehyung whispered.

You felt something bloom inside of you, you nodded and he moved slowly closer to you capturing your lips between his and kissing you gently.

It felt like it lasted for long but when he pulled away you didn't want him to so you pulled him for another and another until he was gripping your sides and grinding against you he helped you slip off your wet shirt and started to kiss your neck while your fingers tug at his hair moaning with pleasure.

You feel him pick you up and slam you against the wall as he kisses you passionately, both of you were breathing heavily you pulled away from each other to catch your breath, he helped you take off your clothes and his boxers.

You heard him moan when your skin rubbed against his, his fingers slowly started to rub your clit you threw your head back and moaned at the feeling.

He smirked and kissed your neck while he kept moving his finger inside you and added one more, you went insane at the feeling he pulled his fingers out when you were about to climax you whined at the loss, you saw him lick your juices off while holding your gaze it was the most sexist thing you have ever seen looking at him with his fringe wet and messy could get you off right this minute but you didn't "let's go to my room" he told you shutting the faucet off, the tub was overflowing with water now he helped you get out of the tub and kissed you all the way until you reached his bed he threw you over and climbed ontop touching you and squeezing you in the right places and where you needed him most.

You heard him chuckle "so needy" he purrs and you nod "please taehyung please-" you cried he went to the bedside table and pulled out a condom sliding it onto his length, your mouth watered at the sight you wanted to suck him off but he stopped you "not tonight babygirl" he pinned your arms above your head and kissed you slowly moving his dick inside you, it took you a while to adjust from how big he is, your bottom lip was bleeding from how much you were biting it, he kissed your head "shhh it's gonna be okay the pain will go away" you cried and he kept giving you small pecks "you're doing so well princess" your walls clenched around him you were about to burst from how he feels inside you "you're so fucking tight" he grunts throwing his head in the nape of your neck the feeling of your walls clenching around him felt overwhelming his hip thrusts were faster and stronger it hit your soft spot until you screamed at the feeling of your climax taking over, he came soon after while kissing you deeply.

Then he laid next to you holding you close as you both were catching your breaths.

And maybe just maybe you started falling in love with taehyung.

_

Months turned into years and your relationship with taehyung was getting stronger by the days, he let you see and visit your mother when Christopher wasn't home.

You learned that after taehyung took you, Christopher started looking for jobs to support your mother and himself since the only income they had was from you and when you were gone they didn't have it anymore so Christopher finally took matters into his own hands and was becoming a bit better.

You didn't ask about his drug addiction nor do you care you just spent time with your mother and then your body guard drove you home.

Taehyung had a lot of good influence on you he encouraged you to do and try the things you always wanted to try, you're much more happier and confident, taehyung helped you discover who you are and be your own person.

You got your life back on track and started to attend university with taehyung's help of course and you couldn't be happier that you have a healthy relationship built on trust with someone like taehyung and the life you always wanted...

A happier,safer life.