#if you're curious yes I do have pictures for those outfits

[hoshologies]

ALL GREEK LOVE, LEE H.

synopsis — you spent the entire summer telling your family that you weren't going to join a sorority. now not only are you an initiated member of delta eta sigma, but you've been elected to the social chair position for you chapter. that's all well and good until heeseung lee, the newly elected social chairman for lambda rho and well-known in the greek community, reaches out to you to start planning runouts between your respective chapters. and now you're spending a lot more time with the cutest boy you've ever met.

genres &&. warnings — romance, fluff, meet-cute, smut, strangers to friends to lovers!au, college!au, greek life!au &&. underage drinking, afab!reader, tipsy sex, dry humping, oral (f!receiving), fingering, overstimulation.

word count — 15.7k.

from the author — not to be totally sorority girl, but the way i see greek life depicted in college au fics is CRAZY. now that i'm back hardcore into my kpop stan era, i rewatched the drunk-dazed mv and was like hmm... so the ultimate plan here was to write heeseung filth but also portray greek life a little more accurately because even if i'm not a huge fan, one thing about me is i'm gonna make sure y'all KNOW that greek life isn't just parties every weekend.

jokes aside, i really hope you enjoy this fic and my first real return to writing. likes, reblogs, and feedback are always welcome. and honestly, if you have any questions about greek life that you just have to know the answer to, i'm an open book.

if you enjoyed it, feel free to buy me a ko-fi!

the entire summer before starting your freshman year of college, you had told your family that you weren’t going to join a sorority. in your mind, there was a specific mold that one needed to fit into to join a sorority and quite frankly, you checked none of the boxes of those stereotypes. 

yet here you sit, months later, in your sorority’s chapter meeting. and you’ve just been elected to the social chair position of the chi nu chapter of delta eta sigma. 

truthfully, you’re not quite sure how you ended up here. you hadn’t formally rushed the week before school, but a couple of drunk girls at a frat party at the beginning of the semester had told you that you should rush their sorority. maybe you’d been a little desperate to branch out or maybe you were just a little curious of what rushing looked like, but a few days later at the student organization fair, you’d found the booth for the sorority the girls had told you they belonged to, delta eta sigma, and signed up for their informal rush.

by the end of october, you had been extended a bid, assigned a big, and promptly initiated into the chapter in what you jokingly referred to as a cult ritual (how could you describe it any other way? all white outfit? candles? promises to not divulge secrets about rituals that happen behind closed doors?).

and now, just three weeks after officially joining the chapter, you’ve ended up on the programming board somehow. you’d gotten a call from the selection board while sitting in the drive-thru of mcdonalds, waiting impatiently for your order of fries and a sprite as a treat for doing well on your gen psych quiz. the girl who’d called you said you’d made “quite the impression” on the sorority since accepting the bid and that they (including the chapter advisor) thought you’d be the perfect fit for the social chair.

“it’s a solo position, so you won’t have a co-chair like community service does, but given your grades so far this semester and the impact you’ve made on the chapter already, we would really love to see what you can do in this position! would you be interested?”

so really, how could you say anything but yes? you still don’t think you fit all that perfectly into the chapter, but they were giving you an opportunity to get involved and to make yourself fit. your name is announced for the social chair, one of your senior pictures pasted up on the powerpoint, and the girls around you smile and snap their fingers. from the executive board seats up front, your big smiles at you, eyes sparkling with something akin to pride.

a few days later, as you’re getting lunch at the student union, your phone screen lights up with a notification from groupme. a name you vaguely recognize is paired with a message that gets cut off after a few words.

heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho and…

as you sit down with your salad and dr. pepper, you click the notification and read it in full. at the very top of the new message thread is heeseung’s picture and it clicks where you recognize him from. he’s friends with your big and he’s involved in a few of the bigger student organizations on campus, namely the activities board, so you’ve seen him in the student union fairly often.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho! i’m friends with liv and she told me that you just got elected as the new social chair for your sorority. i just got slated into the same position for my frat.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: i know we won’t start running things until next semester, but i just wanted to reach out and touch base with you. i’m really looking forward to planning runouts with you next year :]

[1:37 pm] heeseung lee: sorry. i hope that wasn’t too weird. i guess i’m just a little too excited and want to get a bit of a headstart on things. have a good day!

you laugh to yourself, shaking your head as you set the phone down to take a bite of salad. before getting involved in greek life, you always assumed sorority girls and frat guys were airheaded and mean, people who peaked in high school, trying desperately to drag those glory days out. obviously since then, you’ve come to realize that while it is true in some occasions, most times, greek life members are the opposite.

heeseung, who you’ve never spoken to before, is proving that.

[1:42 pm] hi heeseung! not weird at all, i promise. and i’m really excited to plan events with you next semester too :]

by the beginning of february, you haven’t done much with your position. granted, the semester has only really been in full swing for about a week and a half and you have two full semesters to do plenty of things, but you’re itching to start planning. the binder you were given after the officer transition ritual has so many good ideas, everything from runouts with frats and sororities to both formal and semiformal.

while you’re brainstorming ideas for potential social events late on a tuesday night, your phone lights up from its spot on your nightstand, the short bell sound ringing out. you reach for it absentmindedly as you finish writing down the idea you had (rent out skating rink??? check budget). since the beginning of the school year, you’ve become desensitized to the groupme icon when it appears in your notifications, so much so that you barely register heeseung’s name upon first glance. it takes a second look for you to realize who’s texted you.

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: sorry for texting so late. i just wanted to see if you wanted to meet up some time and start on some ideas for a runout?

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: obviously not now!! but if you’re free some time this week, we could meet somewhere and talk. i spent all of winter break brainstorming stuff, so i’d really like to run it by you if that’s ok.

[9:14 pm] hi again heeseung. i was actually planning on getting lunch tomorrow at the student union after i’m done with class at 11 if you’re free then?

the second you press send, you immediately start second guessing yourself. does it come off like you’re asking him to have lunch with you? because that wasn’t your intention. really, you just meant that you’re going to be on campus proper for a little bit and wanted to offer to meet before you got lunch. not that it would be a bad thing if he asked if you could get lunch together; liv likes heeseung well enough and you’ve seen him around, and he really does seem nothing but nice, so lunch really couldn’t hurt— okay, take a breath. it is not that serious.

you take a deep breath and then let your muscles go lax as you exhale. better. 

it feels like ages pass before he texts back. you’re worried you’ve scared him off, but it really shouldn’t be that stressful. it’s just a text and he’s the one who wanted to meet up in the first place anyways; you just offered a time and location. but finally, your phone dings again and his name lights up your screen.

[9:21 pm] heeseung lee: actually that works perfect!! i get out of class at the same time and usually grab lunch at the u before heading to the activities board office. wanna meet by the dining area next to the office?

[9:21 pm] sounds like a plan!! i’ll see you then!

heeseung, you realize as you set your phone down and put away your binder for the night, is the only social chair of any of the greek organizations who has reached out to you to start getting the ball rolling. he seems to be just as anxious as you are about doing this job well, which makes you feel at least a little validated. nervous and jittery though you may be about meeting him for the first time tomorrow after only having chatted with him over text twice, the idea of him feeling the same as you brings a strange form of comfort. with enough of it, you actually start looking forward to seeing him tomorrow as you lay down to sleep, mind running a mile a minute with what it’ll be like to meet him after all of the things you’ve heard about him from liv. by the time you slip into the embrace of sleep, anxiety has boiled down into anticipation.

at 11:02 the next morning, heeseung nearly scares the hell out of you when he shows up at the designated meeting spot. you’re so invested in your twitter scroll that you don’t notice when he walks up. it’s not until he says a soft “hi” that you jump and almost drop your phone in the process. when you look up, there’s a worried look on his face.

“sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you!” 

after a moment to catch your breath, you shake your head and wave his worry off, though the gesture doesn’t do much to make that worried look on his (undeniably pretty) face. “it’s okay, heeseung. really.”

to really seal the deal, you shoot him a gentle smile, trying to prove that your heart isn’t about ready to give out anymore. you feel blessed when he returns it, all quirked up at the corners and smile lines and soft, plush cheeks. silence falls, the two of you smiling and staring at each other like idiots until heeseung shakes himself out of his stupor.

“anyways…” he clears his throat and moves his gaze towards the food court. “what did you want to get to eat? my treat.”

you look up at him, at the way he’s pointedly not looking at you and instead examining the restaurants just beyond the dining areas. you know, the restaurants that have been the same for the last five years probably and will be here for another five, the ones he’s grabbed food from at least a couple of times since the semester started and even more since the beginning of the school year. 

“you don’t have to buy me lunch, heeseung. it’s-”

he finally turns to look at you again, that same easy smile still pulling his features into a soft form of happiness. “it’s no problem, really. just an act of good faith. all greek love and whatnot, you know?”

you laugh a little at that, conceding but allowing him to choose where he wants to get lunch from since he’s the one paying and you don’t really have a preference. by the time you’re sat opposite each other at a table with meals from the burger stall, your stomach is rumbling. you’re about half of the way through your burger when heeseung looks up from his fries, clearing his throat to get your attention.

“so…” he starts. it’s clear he hadn’t planned what he wanted to say before catching your focus, so an awkward silence settles over him, eyes on you but focused somewhere off behind you like he’s looking through you instead. you tilt your head, lean in close, which snaps him out of the trance and he restarts. “right, ideas for events. i have a binder from the last social chair of my frat with a bunch of things he did during his time.”

“oh! i do, too!” you interject. “there’s a bunch of stuff that the last girl did and then things some of the girls before her did too.”

heeseung’s grin breaks back across his face, bright and warm; you swear, a smile from this boy alone could break up the threatening winter storm currently hanging over campus. “there’s a bunch of good ideas in mine. but i’m not quite sure how well they’d work right now because of the weather.”

“are most of the ideas outside?” you inquire, taking a sip of your soda while he confirms your suspicions. when you put the cup back down, you wave off his concern. “no worries then. almost all of mine are ones that can be inside, so we could go through those if you want!”

heeseung nods and smiles that morning sunlight smile of his, and you can’t move quick enough to pull the thin pink binder out of your tote bag. he clears away some of the trash from the table so you can lay out the binder, intro page on full display. for the next five minutes, the pair of you pore over the pages upon pages of ideas, sleek white cut through with black ink that lists the idea, the locations, how much it costs. 

you’re so invested in going over everything with him that you hardly acknowledge when heeseung stands and moves into the open seat beside you so neither one of you is craning your neck. you simply adjust the binder so you can read through the pages comfortably. it isn’t until heeseung points one out excitedly and you look up in startle that you finally notice that he isn’t a foot away but inches, noses just centimeters apart.

right now, this is the most compromising position you could possibly be in with a boy you hardly know and you find yourself praying that nobody from either of your chapters decides to walk by. of course, neither of you have anything to hide – this is a simple brainstorming session, of course, absolutely nothing more – but liv and your small group of friends would never let you live this down if they saw it.

heeseung clears his throat after seconds that stretch into years and you break your gaze from his painfully (how can you be blamed for staring? he’s that soft kind of pretty that hypnotizes). “um… so i think rollerskating could be fun…”

it is a good event that your sorority has done with the other frats and sororities in the past, one that you were playing around with as a potential plan to pitch to him. the fact that he picked it out on his own accord makes you bristle with something akin to pride, a feeling so warm and comforting it has you leaning just a little closer to him.

let the girls see me, you think as your sweater-clad shoulder brushes against his own. there are worse things they could catch me doing.

“actually… this was one of the ones i was going to suggest if you didn’t find any that you were really interested in…” you say quietly, voice nearly lost in the din of the dining area of the student union.

heeseung looks at you, blinking slow and round and soft, as if each flutter of his eyelids is a moment of his brain processing your words. “really… maybe it’s a sign…?”

his voice is just as soft, matching your energy in one swift go. you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing as you, if he’s feeling that it seems like you’ve known one another forever despite only knowing each other for fifteen minutes max; it seems like your souls themselves are in complete synergy, so why would it be so farfetched to wonder if maybe you knew each other in a different life to have caused that synchrony?

you laugh a little and shrug, shoulder brushing against his softly; the movement is short and sweet, but your heart rises in you like the high tide, washing through your veins with foam and salt and the kind of breeze only the ocean can bring, chill and warm all at once. “maybe so.”

silence settles over the table like sand stirred on the ocean floor, the both of you lost in your own worlds. heeseung has dragged his soda to this side of the table and sips absentmindedly, gaze focused miles beyond the horizon of the hallway. he’s completely checked out when your consciousness wanders back into your body and you take the moment to study him a little: the even slope of his nose, high cheekbones paired with plush skin, long eyelashes that brush the apex of his cheeks when he blinks, a flutter of dark against light. 

there are worse boys you could be caught staring at.

you’re still thinking about your lunch with heeseung hours later, even when you’re out getting your weekly tuesday night ice cream with your big. liv is going on about how her professor for her linguistics class pissed her off during lecture today, but you’re not absorbing a single word of any of it. you remember vaguely that he openly disagreed with her during the lecture and they got into a debate in front of the whole class, but beyond that, you don’t know much else.

“god, he’s just the worst. i can’t believe– alright, you’re in the stratosphere right now. what’s going on?”

you snap back to reality, eyes wide and goosebumps prickling up under the sleeves of your sweater. you shake your head, trying to brush away the conversation she’s trying to prompt, even though it’ll be futile because liv can’t let things go for the life of her. “nothing! everything’s fine, i swear.”

liv’s eyes narrow and a single dark eyebrow quirks up. “yeah, i’m not buying it.”

you glare playfully at her, eating a spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. when you swallow, you answer with a pointed, “when do you buy anything i say? really, liv. it’s nothing.”

“did someone say something to you? i’m part of panhellenic and on the all-greek council. if someone did something, i can handle it.”

you shake your head earnestly and wave a hand for extra emphasis. “olivia. seriously. nothing happened.”

your big is silent for a few moments, studying you intently. her shady blue eyes, usually wistful and giving the impression of being miles away herself, cut right down to your very bone, as if she’ll find the answer she’s looking for written into your skin or soul, carved into your heart. eventually, she sighs and slumps back against the booth.

“alright, fine. i’ll believe you this time,” she says in a voice that hints at disappointment. “but you’d tell me if someone did say something to you, right? i’m serious about getting things taken care of if someone does something like that to you.”

you smile, reach across the table, rest your hand over her. “yes, liv. i would tell you if somebody treated me badly. you’re the only friend i have who would be willing to go to jail if needed. but i promise the situation doesn’t call for that right now.”

she perks up a little at your words and takes a deep breath, nodding. she’s back to her bubbly self, resuming her rant about her asshole linguistics professor who definitely shouldn’t have tenure. the whiplash her behavior gives you definitely just secured her an award for “most melodramatic” at formal in april (which, fuck you have to start planning that soon too).

you remain checked into liv’s rant, assenting when she asks you for your opinions on this professor who you’ve never met and never plan on meeting, and offering advice when she wants it. but you still find yourself wandering off at times, mind focused on heeseung.

you’re not sure why you don’t want to tell her about meeting with the boy earlier; she’s one of his friends and she’s always spoken so highly about him, so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. in fact, she’s mentioned in passing a couple of times (mostly when she’s undeniably hammered) that she thinks you and heeseung would make a cute couple, even though she’s never seen the two of you interact, let alone exist in the same room.

but there’s something special about the thirty minutes you shared with heeseung. you met in a public place, sure, but something about it felt and still feels so sacred to you. it’s something you want to keep a secret for at least a little while. that soft sunshine smile and the low tide brushes of shoulders are things that, for now, belong solely to you and heeseung. it won’t kill liv to be left out of the loop for a while.

“do you think we should have it closer to midterms?” heeseung’s voice is pure static, like he’s going through a tunnel, even though there’s only half a campus worth of distance between you.

the two of you have graduated from groupme dms to phone calls over the course of three days. heeseung is saved affectionately in your phone as sseung with the deer emoji, one that you picked out as he sat across from you after you’d exchanged numbers; he doesn’t know about it, but he reminds you often of a deer caught in headlights with the way he stares at you all wide-eyed when you try to catch his attention.

“maybe? but people have to study. i’m not sure how often your guys are in the library, but i see at least thirty girls at the library every single night, so i’m not sure how willing they’d be to give up a night of studying, even if it is only for an hour, that close to midterms.”

heeseung’s small, thoughtful hmm is audible over the speaker and you smile to yourself over a basket of clean laundry. you’ve spent maybe three hours max with him over the last couple of days and already you have a pretty decent grasp on his personality and habits. right now, you can picture the way he likely looks up from his phone or planner and stares off past the beige cinderblock wall of his dorm room, turning possibilities over in his head.

“no, you’re right about that. i didn’t even consider it.”

you shrug as though he can see you, folding a pair of sweats and setting them to the side. “i’d definitely like for it to be soonish though. it doesn’t have to be planned super far in advance, you know what i mean? we’ve still got… what? a month until midterms?”

“i think so, yeah.”

you nod to yourself, hanging up one of your shirts. “okay, so what about two weeks from now? that lands us right in between now and midterms, so it’d be a happy medium.”

he’s silent on the other end of the line and you pause in your hanging of another shirt, worried that he’s thinking you’re stupid. of course, heeseung would never think anything like that about anyone because he’s the sweetheart to end all sweethearts. still, you worry because what this boy thinks of you is ridiculously imperative to your day to day functions.

three days, you remind yourself. you’ve known him for three days. there’s no reason for his opinions to hold this much weight.

you wonder if heeseung knows just how easy it is to like him, to be around him; if he knows just how much you want to see him all the time because he’s completely taken over your every waking thought. liv’s comments about him made in passing never could have truly captured just how amazing he is, nice and caring and so so pretty. you’re almost embarrassed to be this head over heels for him, but when he laughs over the phone or focuses all of his attention on you over a table in the food court, that mortification burns away into something soft and sweet and slow.

“i think that’s a great idea. not too soon, so we can make sure our chapters know it’s happening, but not too late that it disrupts any midterm studying.”

you breathe a sigh of relief and smile to yourself, resting your hands against the lip of the laundry basket. the rational part of your brain knew he was going to agree, but the part of you that so desperately craves his approval was disgustingly terrified that you wouldn’t receive it. now that you have, though, a heat rushes through you, pride warm and bright because you offered a good solution to the minuscule obstacle.

“yeah, exactly!”

you can just imagine the grin on heeseung’s face right now, delicate like freshly fallen snow. the image fills you with the giddiness of a high school girl, glad to be the one to have caused such a beautiful sight. “okay, cool. i’ll talk about it with the executive board, get it approved and whatnot, but i think we should be set, besides who’s paying for what.”

“what do you mean?” you question, brows furrowing as you finish up the last of your laundry.

“what do you mean?” there’s a playful, teasing edge in his voice. “someone has to pay to book the rink and the shoes, and don’t you think there should be snacks?”

“oh… yeah, i guess so.”

“so i was thinking we’d cover the booking and you could cover the food… but only if you’re cool with that! obviously, it’s not a big deal or anything, but i figured we should get that in order too so we can a specific date set and everything.”

“no, no! that works fine for me! i honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead, so it’s a good thing you did.” the line falls silent for a few moments, static crackling softly between you. there’s just something about the idea that you’re so close yet so far from each other, physically distant but holding each other close like this over a quiet cellphone line. it’s comforting to have him like this, you find.

“but yeah…” you break the stillness with your voice soft so as to not completely shatter the tranquility you’ve cultivated here. “that’s… that’s good thinking, heeseung.”

“hanks…” his own words mimic the same volume, nearly lost in the haze of the phone. “so… i’ll run it by the exec board and let you know?”

you hum a quick mhmm and tell him that you’ll do the same. there should be no reason that you’ll be denied, but the fact that liv, seeing as she’s vice president of programming, is part of the exec board and will find out that you’ve been, at the very least, talking to heeseung on a semi-regular basis (see: every day this week since tuesday afternoon) is a little nerve wracking, mostly because you’re ninety-nine percent sure she’s been hinting at trying to set the two of you up.

and when you say hinting, you mean pointing him out on campus or at parties and saying something like “really, i think you two would get along so well! you should go and talk to him.”

she was right about that, but the last thing you need right now is her finding out that you are catching feelings, all without her meddling. but you’ll make peace with the fact because you have to.

liv sidles up to you two weeks later on a thursday night, knit-clad arms crossed over her chest. you don’t even have to look at her to know she’s wearing a smug expression right now. “so…”

you don’t even physically react to her presence, instead choosing to gaze out over the rollerskating rink in your little college town. “so… what, liv?”

she nudges you with her shoulder and leans with her back against the wall separating the rink floor from the carpet of the sitting area. “you and heeseung, huh? i’ve been telling you for ages that the two of you would get along!”

you scoff playfully and roll your eyes, finally turning your head to look at her. “can you not start sentences like that?”

“like what?” she asks innocently.

“like heeseung and i have something going on. all we did was plan one runout together. we’ve only met, like, one time in person.”

you regret the words almost as soon as they leave the tip of your tongue because the second she hears the phrase “in person,” she’s already causing a scene. even though her voice is somewhat drowned out by the music blasting over the speakers, the absolute tenacity with which she gestures with her entire body draws more attention than it should. melodramatic as per usual.

“in person? when was this? and why was i not informed?” the questions liv asks a million times come out more like exclamations than anything else, too caught up in melodramatic distress to adjust the tone of her voice correctly.

you shrug absently, turning your head back towards the rink. heeseung is standing on the opposite side, talking to a few of the guys from his frat. he looks nice in his blue and green sweater and loose jeans, brown hair tousled from the winter breeze outside. “a couple weeks ago. and i didn’t tell you because it just wasn’t that important. we literally only had lunch just to talk about ideas for this.”

liv whines your name and stomps a foot like a child throwing a tantrum. “yeah, but i’m your big. i wanna know these things! and i’ve also been trying to set you two up forever! you didn’t think i’d want to know that you’d finally met him, even if it wasn’t because of anything i’d plan? my feelings are hurt.”

“first, this is exactly why one of the awards for formal this semester is going to be most over dramatic and exactly why you’re going to win,” you start, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. “second, i knew you would want to know, but i also knew this is how you’d react. i didn’t think you’d want to know about us setting up an event together, like… there’s no tea to spill or whatever. it’s just boring stuff. i don’t even know him that well.”

a bold-faced lie if you’ve ever told one; you know heeseung down to the cologne he puts on every morning. and maybe there was a little more to the event planning sessions. at least five times over the past two weeks, heeseung has approached you either in the food court or at the library, and taken the seat opposite of you to chat and study a bit. not to mention, you’ve texted every single day since the two of you officially met for the first time.

but again: nothing liv needs to know. heeseung, for now, is just your little secret. the conversations you’ve shared, the little details you know about him, the sweater he’d given you a few days ago when you’d gotten cold at the library and your own sweater had gotten soaking wet due to rain and your lack of an umbrella, those are your things, special and personal and entirely yours.

“ugh. the two of you are so boring,” liv moans dramatically, tipping her head back. “i hope you hang out more after this, but only if you tell me about it.”

you shrug and glance back across the rink. heeseung has shifted positions, his arms crossed over the railing and by some stroke of luck, he’s looking at you, looking otherworldly under the shifting blue and purple lights. he smiles softly, just a quick phantom of a grin, and the only think you can do is return it with that same gentleness and warmth.

“maybe,” you say, glancing over at liv and then back at heeseung. “i guess we’ll just have to see.”

a week later, you’re sitting in your dorm room on a friday night, finalizing edits for a midterm paper, when there’s a banging at your door fifteen minutes before ten.

“heyyy! let me innn!” liv’s voice is airy and slurred through the door, so you can already guess what she’s here for.

with a heavy sigh, you stand and make your way to the door, opening it and finding your big leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. she’s dressed in her usual party attire: ripped jeans, black tank top, dirty shoes reserved specifically for the sticky basement floors of frat houses. she’s holding a metal water bottle in her hands; you can only guess what she’s mixed in it tonight.

“what’s up, liv?” you ask, leaning your shoulder against the doorframe, even though you don’t need an answer. you hadn’t anticipated her being here, so you’re already decked out in your comfy night clothes, prepared for a night in only. 

“lambda is throwing a party and you’re going with me,” she says peppily, practically jumping up and throwing herself into your room.

“liv-“

she whips around on her heels to face you, eyes glowing in the soft gold of your fairy lights. “no fighting me on this. you’ve been working hard and you need a break. so you’re going to dress like the hot bitch you are and then we’re going to lambda.”

liv is rooted to the spot, though she sways a little on her feet, and makes it known without words that she is not moving until you get ready for this dumb frat party. eager to get her drunken glare off of you, you sigh and nod, closing the door behind you, shutting off your desk light, and moving towards your wardrobe, rifling through the hangers to find a proper outfit.

you’ve been to lambda rho’s house before and it is nothing to write home about… unless, of course, you’re talking about how absolutely filthy the basement is; they have the best sized basement out of all of the frats on campus, but you swear they have never done anything to clean the floor. the first time you went, you’d been having a great time drinking well-mixed jungle juice and dancing to the best songs of the 2010s when you noticed that every step you took sounded like velcro. the floor was so sticky that you were literally having to put pressure behind pulling your shoes from the concrete. it totally killed the vibe.

but the jungle juice and occasional jello shots are great, so you persevere. besides, lambda throws the best parties on campus and you’re clearly the person to trust on party hot takes since you only go back to frats you have a good time at (sorry, sigma pi).

plus, heeseung is in lambda rho and he has to be there since he’s the social chair and all, so… you note that out of the maybe five parties you’ve been to there since the beginning of the school year, you’ve never once seen him. granted, he’s only required to be at any parties hosted while he’s the social chairman, so maybe he just didn’t go to any last semester. or maybe he’s a wallflower like you, choosing to stand on the outskirts instead of in the center of attention.

lost in your haze of heeseung thoughts, you don’t really register that you’ve finished dressing and that liv has sat you down at your desk to fix your hair. somehow, while very much drunk, your big has an easy time styling it. she’s focused intensely on the task at hand, but also manages to carry on a one-sided conversation, not realizing that you’re not responding to her. but when she moves her hands from your head and sets them on the back of your chair, you’re amazed; she’s always been good at styling and fashion (hence why she’s been in charge of the homecoming student org dance and cheer competition every fall for the last two years), but you weren’t expecting her skills to be up to par while buzzed to hell and back.

“there we go, ready to wow heeseung,” liv says matter-of-factly, a proud look on her face. when you glare at her through the mirror, she smiles and shrugs lazily, reaching to grab her water bottle and phone from your desk. “what? he’ll be there tonight and i’ve heard through the grape vine that he might have a little crush on you, so…”

you whip around at her words, hands braced against the back of your chair. something like liquid anxiety prickles under your skin, sending goosebumps across your arms. liv is friends with just about everyone in greek life, so “the grape vine” could quite literally mean anybody, but who did she find that out from anyways? when did heeseung say anything like that? did he even actually say that or is she just deadset on shipping the two of you together until it either happens or falls through?

“what?”

she looks back at you over her shoulder, one hand resting on the doorknob and your dorm keys in the other. there’s a mischievous glint in her dark eyes and your heart drops; how did you get such a schemer as a big? “oh, yeah. i was hanging out at the lambda house the other night with yeonjun. you know? heeseung’s big? and he maybe mentioned something about it. why do you wanna know?”

she sidles back up to you, pulling you out of the chair by your shoulders. “do you maybe… i don’t know… like him back? why are you so nervous?”

you shake your head, trying to will the goosebumps on your arms and lightning in your veins away. you’ve claimed a million times over the last few weeks that there is nothing more going on between you and that boy, no matter how pretty or sweet you might think he is. heeseung is just a friend, someone you just so happened to click really well with and just so happened to plan a really fun event with. there’s nothing else to say about it or the way you get excited when his name shows up on your phone or how your day immediately gets better when he walks up to you at the library without texting you first, your favorite snack and coffee in hand and a smile on his face.

there’s nothing there to unpack. you think.

“i’m not nervous. and i bet yeonjun just misheard heeseung. the two of us are just friends. i’ve told you that a million times and i’m sure he’s said the same thing.”

liv just laughs and ushers you towards the door. “okay, okay… sure, sweetheart. let’s get over there before they run out of alcohol.”

jay, the self-appointed dj for every lambda rho party, is blasting year 3000 by the jonas brothers when you and liv arrive in the basement. there’s already a large group of bodies on the dance floor, but the bar area is still pretty crowded and getting worse. liv links her arm with yours so that you won’t get separated, even though there’s no chance of you getting lost or anything.

the two of you make your way towards the bar where yeonjun is “bartending,” a term he insists on using despite the fact that all he does is pour cups of vibrant red jungle juice. blonde hair hangs over his forehead and his skin is glistening with sweat already, looking weirdly ethereal under the colorful lights that fill the room. when he sets eyes on you and liv, he smiles brightly and leans against the bartop.

“hey, you two! glad you finally showed up!” he shouts over the music. “jungle juice?”

liv nods enthusiastically, mimicking his posture and crossing her arms on top of the counter. “yes please! any chances you have jello shots tonight too?”

the boy looks around before he leans in closer to answer. “don’t tell anyone else, but i made some just for you two since you’re my favorite customers.”

liv rolls her eyes and swats at his bicep, but she’s smiling anyways. “we’re not customers, jun. you’re not even getting paid to do this. when are you gonna stop acting like you’re a real bartender, huh?”

he clenches his hand over his heart and stumbles backwards, feigning pain. “you wound me so, liv. i did something nice for you and this is how you repay me. i can’t believe this!”

but in the midst of his monologue, he bends over to open a mini fridge behind the bar and returns with a couple of jello shots. he tells you to take them here while he gets your drinks and hide them the best you can so nobody gets up in arms that he’s providing something outside of the night’s menu. he’s always been especially nice to you, mostly because of liv and his undying love for her (though platonic or romantic, you’ve never been exactly sure about), so it’s all you can do to thank him and listen to his pleads for secrecy regarding the contraband jello shots. when he’s back above bar, you switch off, him discreetly tossing the small cups in the trash.

liv, finally armed with her precious red solo cup, turns to talk to some other friends, leaving you and yeonjun alone. the music is so loud you can hardly keep your thoughts straight, which is great for keeping your mind off of what liv said earlier, but doesn’t last long when yeonjun leans in ever closer, his cologne enveloping you entirely.

“you should thank heeseung for the jello shots, by the way. i honestly hadn’t even thought to make some for you and liv because i was busy with other stuff, but he asked about making some since he knows they’re your favorite.”

your heart clenches a little at the idea that heeseung wanted to make sure that you had things you liked at his frat’s party. it’s nice to have someone looking out for small things like that, even if it means breaking a rule or two. yeonjun rests his hand on top of your head and pats gently, a knowing look in his eyes.

“listen, i know that you swear up and down the wall that you and him are just friends, but for what it’s worth, he likes you a lot. he just won’t say it. you know him. he’s kinda bad with words. it’s not really my place to make his confession for him, but just… you know. give him a chance.”

you nod dumbly and give him a half-baked smile when he pulls his hand off your head. a few girls walk up, vying for their own drinks, so you take that as your cue to walk away, red solo cup cradled in your hands. any hope of not thinking about heeseung lee has been completely undone by both liv and yeonjun. 

suddenly, you are far too sober.

two hours later, you’re five drinks in, only kept track of by the cups you have in your hand, and you’re feeling pleasantly buzzed. the lights are a little brighter, the music a little louder, liv’s arm hot and grounding around your shoulders. she’s completely gone, despite the fact that she’s only had three cups of jungle juice. she’s serenading you with dancing queen by abba, somehow getting every single word wrong. 

“fuck, i’m way too drunk for this,” she says, breaking off a line in the middle of the second verse. “i’ll sing for you next time. promise.”

you laugh and lean against her, shaking your head. “okay, livvie. sounds good.” you’re content to end your sentence there, but you have an increasing awareness of how hot it’s gotten. the amount of people packed into the basement, especially in the center of the dancefloor like this, has contributed greatly to the heat and you need some time to cool down before it makes you sick. “listen, ‘m gonna get some air. ‘t’s getting really hot.”

liv nods and hugs you to her, voice chipper but slurred heavily. “‘kay! i’ll see you in a few.” she lets you go and breaks out into the next song, somehow worse than dancing queen.

you slip out of the crowd, already feeling a little cooler now that you’ve escaped from the hot press of bodies. standing on the outskirts of the dancefloor, you consider your options. there’s the open window that a cool breeze passes through or the door by yeonjun’s bar, which you know leads directly outside with a staircase up to the back deck. while you initially planned to be within arm’s reach for liv’s sake, your ears are starting to ring from the loud music and the choice is made for you.

you wave to yeonjun as you make your way towards the door. he pauses and leans over to ask you if you’re leaving, looking a little concerned, but you shake your head and tell him what you told liv. and then you tack on the information that she’s incredibly drunk, so he should watch out for her because knowing her, she’ll be tapping out sooner rather than later. he nods in understanding and lets you go, turning back to the two frat guys, jake and chan, that are standing at the bar.

the temperature difference between the basement and outside right now is jarring, but welcomed nonetheless. you carefully traverse the stairs, not quite confident in yourself to take them confidently, seeing as your sight is currently swimming a little and your head is light. getting to the top is a feat and you feel immediately better once you’re on the back deck.

you’re so out of it that you don’t realize you aren’t alone as you lean against the railing, reveling in the way the wood digs into your forearms and the chill bites at you through the sheer long sleeves of your black shirt. you’re still very much buzzed, but you feel a little more clear-headed now that you can hear yourself think.

the sound of your name startles you and you swear you jump ten feet in the air before you whip around, hand against your heart. heeseung is halfway out the back door, a cup in his hand and that deer caught in the headlights expression you’ve come to know well over the last month or so. 

“jesus, heeseung. you scared the shit out of me!” you say, catching your breath and leaning back against the railing.

“i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to!” he finishes stepping out of the house and onto the deck with you, the door swinging shut behind him. he’s so earnest in his apology that you can’t help but smile, dropping your hand and instead taking a sip from your drink that you carried out here with you.

“you have a habit of sneaking up on me, huh?”

he joins you at the railing, leaning against it the way you are, and raises his own cup to his lips (perfect and plush and pink… enough of that). he shrugs as he drinks, wincing when it goes down rougher than he expected. the liquid that sloshes against the side is not the same color as yours, so you can only assume that one of the guys gave him something a little stronger than whatever they threw together for the jungle juice.

“i guess so,” he says through a small cough. “i don’t mean to, if that makes it any better.”

you laugh a little, nudging him with your shoulder. “it’s not a big deal, if that makes you feel better. i think it’s kinda funny.”

heeseung smiles at that and nods, keeping his eyes trained on the drink in his cup. it’s only when you’re committing his side profile to drunken memory that you realize the blush that’s crept up the back of his neck onto his cheeks and the tip of his ears. except, that sober voice inside your head argues it could just be from the cold. 

but neither of you have been out long enough for that to be the case. it’s not even that cold out here, just a little bit chilly. drunk you is having sneaking suspicions, ones that sober you would never entertain, and this is the first time you’re seeing heeseung at one of his frat’s parties, so you might as well take advantage of it all as much as you can.

“yeonjun told me what you did… the jello shots for me and liv, i mean,” you clarify the second you realize how the first sentence sounds without context. “thanks. i didn’t think you were really paying attention to that kind of stuff.”

heeseung turns his head to look at you, eyes a little wide but that soft, perfect smile offsets it nicely. he looks a little surprised that you found out about it, but not upset that yeonjun mentioned it.

“well… i mean, of course i do. that’s kinda… what i do, you know?”

he’s beating around the bush. yeonjun was right; heeseung never talks about his feelings and he sure as hell won’t offer you the words you’re waiting to hear right now. so, drunk you reasons, why is the only way to confess through words? he’s shown you how much he cares, he’s been doing it for weeks now. maybe you were suppressing your own feelings to keep liv off your back about it all, but in doing so, you’ve been diminishing heeseung’s own attempts at telling you. 

this whole thing with him has never been simply friends. love at first sight feels a little much, but you certainly have something between you and you have for weeks on end at this point. maybe it’s time to reward this beautiful boy for being so patient with you.

just as he’s beginning to turn his head away to look back towards the house, you set your cup on the railing and capture his face in your hands. there’s no moment for either of you to process what’s happening, just that one minute there’s a platonic amount of distance between you and the next, your lips are on his and it is warm and unpracticed and still unbelievably perfect. heeseung goes pliant and soft under your touch, his free hand resting gently on the small of your back. his fingers curl gently into your shirt, tethering himself to you. his other hand is still grasping his solo cup and you find yourself wishing he’d just drop the damn thing, even if it means the both of your shoes get soaked in whatever he’d been served (whiskey, you’d guess, from the smokey taste on his tongue).

he’s the first to pull away, eyes still closed for moments after. his breaths come shallow and his cheeks have gone impossibly red, his hand still against your back. you study him from this angle, closer than you’ve ever been, and somehow, you’re finding him prettier than ever before. maybe it’s the alcohol talking or the sudden lovesickness for him, but you don’t care because you finally kissed heeseung lee and left him breathless.

“what- um… what was that for?” he asks quietly, eyes fluttering open. his pupils are blown wide and awestruck (you think that’s the right word in your jungle juice induced haze).

you shrug, inching yourself a little closer towards him. he turns to meet you so your bodies run parallel to each other and finally sets his offending cup on the railing next to yours. “got tired waiting for you t’make a move.”

he makes a sound in the back of his throat and turns his head to look elsewhere, as if looking at you might make him drop dead. any doubt you had from earlier in the night that he’d told yeonjun that he liked you is swept away in a single moment; he can deny it all he wants now, but you already know the truth, so what’s the point?

“liv told me that she heard through the grape vine that you liked me…” you say softly, voice trailing off into the muffled sounds of a kesha song blasting in the basement. “is that… true?”

you watch as he draws a deep breath, squeezes his eyes closed, steels himself for whatever answer he’s about to give. with all your liquid courage now, confessing might not have been a big deal, but you know that if you’d been sober, it would be just as hard as this. but you swear you saw him drinking jungle juice down in the basement an hour and a half ago, and now he’s drinking something stronger, so he must be so naturally shy that not even alcohol can wipe it out.

finally, he lets his breath out and focuses his attention on you again, his eyes soft and pleading. don’t break my heart. please.

“yeah… yeah, i got a little drunk last weekend and told yeonjun that i thought i had feelings for you when he got me back to my dorm. i’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable or if it ruins our friendship. i j–”

you kiss him again, hot and heavy and full of longing and words you don’t dare voice because you’ve liked him for a long time too; you were just too afraid to admit it to yourself. but now he’s spilling his heart out and you’d rather walk barefoot through broken glass before you let him go on thinking for a second longer that his feelings aren’t reciprocated tenfold.

you step impossibly closer, your bodies pressed tight and heavy, the seam unbreakable. heeseung’s hands (both thank god) rest on your waist, holding you close. he bristles under your touch as you leave one hand on his shoulder and the other sneaks around to the nape of his neck, fingers curling into the fine, soft hair there. your nails scratch lightly against his scalp and his chest shudders against yours, some small, refined gasp of approval passing from his mouth to yours as he takes his turn to kiss the breath out of you.

it’s a tiny noise, barely noticeable, barely passing as a soft breathy moan. but you hear it and it’s embarrassingly enough to have your knees going a little weak. well, it’s not just that minuscule noise; it’s everything, it’s the way heeseung’s lips move against your own with an uncharacteristic amount of surety, the way his fingers have slipped under your shimmery black top (a “donation” from liv’s closet last homecoming), the way you can feel his body coming alive under your attention. if this is going where you think it’s going, the dreams you’ve been having about him at least once a week since you first met are about to come true.

heeseung is the first to break away again, but he looks less nervous than the first time. no, this time he looks flushed and tousled and so attractive it should be illegal. when he shifts his weight from his left to right foot, his body brushes against you and the heat of him is unmistakable. even if you couldn’t feel it, you can see the way his eyelids flutter and feel the way his chest shudders against yours. you can’t help yourself; you need him.

“come back to my dorm,” you whisper breathlessly, words manifesting physically in a cloud of fog. “please.”

the boy squeezes his eyes shut again, looks up towards the sky, draws that deep breath he’s so fond of right now. you almost back out, almost say it was a joke; he just confessed his feelings and you kissed twice, so maybe it’s all a little much for him. you really like him and you don’t want to scare him off; besides, what you’re feeling right now is nothing you can’t take care of on your own back in your dorm room. just as you’re about to tell him that he can say no, he’s seemingly talked himself up enough because he looks down at you, smiles, kisses you on his own accord, and then takes your hand.

“lead the way,” he says.

you and heeseung stop at least five times on the way back to your dorm room to makeout, giggling into each other’s mouths as he presses you against a tree on the greens or as you pull him into the pools of darkness between streetlamps. every moment has him growing more confident, more certain that this isn’t just a hookup or a dream.

somewhere along the way, you text liv and tell her that you’re heading home because you’re not feeling well. it’s not farfetched, seeing as you’d broken away from her in the first place because you were feeling too hot. what happened between your departure and when the text is sent is entirely irrelevant right now. what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her and she’ll hear about it sooner rather than later anyways. 

it takes you maybe a full twenty minutes to reach your building, a feat considering how drunk you are and how obsessed you’ve been with heeseung for the last half hour. you fully expected it to take longer, but now, you stand under the golden glow of the entry to your dorm building, heeseung unlocking the door for you because you’re a little too gone right now and unwilling to take your hands off him,standing next to him, your arms hugging his free one while you lean your cheek against his shoulder. he fumbles with the key, muttering about how they should change to a keycard system instead, but he gets it eventually and you’re in.

after that, it’s practically a mad dash up to your dorm room on the third floor. your hand is twined tight around heeseung’s as you lead him up the stairs, too impatient to take the elevator right now. somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re glad that you took the time to clean your room today after class; heeseung will see a polished side of you, one that puts laundry away as soon as they’re out of the dryer, one that has glowing golden fairy lights above the window that gild your room in warmth, one that leaves books and binders stacked neatly in the shelf on your desk. not that he’ll be paying attention to any of it anyways, what with the way you can feel his cock pressing incessantly against you as you unlock your bedroom door, hot and straining.

agonizing seconds stretch into what feels like even more agonizing hours, but eventually, you get the door unlocked and guide him inside, stepping into the glow of your string lights that you’d left on before you left. you don’t even have to turn yourself around to look at him because he does it for you, turning you by your waist, pressing you fast against the back of the now-closed door.

his mouth is on yours in an instant, tongue swiping over your bottom lip, no doubt tasting the fruit punch yeonjun had added to tonight’s jungle juice recipe concoction. his hands are on your waist, curling hot into your skin, black mesh of your shirt scratching against you. it’s nice, how respectful he’s being right now, still ever the gentleman he’s been for the last month, but you don’t want nice and respectful right now. you’ve had literal dreams about this since you met him, driving your attraction to him higher with every one; you want mean and messy and rough, and that’s what you’ll get if it’s the last thing you do.

so in a bid to urge him towards where you’re really hoping this night goes, you grab at one of his wrists and drag his hand up to your chest, pressing his palm against your breast. you can feel his breath hitch against you and you smile into the kiss because how can he still be so shy when he’s kissed the breath out of you at least five times in the last forty-five minutes? either way, he gives a tentative squeeze and it feels mind blowingly good; you’ve never been one to really care much about attention focused on your tits, but heeseung makes it feel like maybe you should.

you get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, one of his hands kneading at your chest, the other slowly slipping under your top, rough fingertips drawing up and down the skin of your stomach, so far gone that you don’t notice the thigh he’s slotted between your legs until he grinds it up against you. it’s sudden and so well-earned, some much needed friction that you’ve been craving since that second kiss on the deck in lambda rho’s backyard. he does it a second time, the hard plane of his thigh coming up hard against your clit, and your knees buckle a little, dropping you further onto him. you moan sweetly into his mouth, tilting your head back against the door as the hand on your waist works your hips against him with a scary but uncharacteristic practiced certainty. he takes the absence of your mouth against his to trail kisses on your neck, his teeth dragging along the sensitive skin, nipping and leaving love bites in his wake.

a well aimed grind of your hips, guided singularly by the boy in front of you, has you falling forward against his chest, your forehead pressed into the junction between his shoulder and neck. you keen against him in frustration, the crest rising but not breaking, no matter how hard to try to get it to.

“seung,” you cry against his skin, fingers curling tight into his sweater. “need more please.”

you almost sob in relief when you feel him nod against your neck, more so when you notice his own hips are stuttering against your leg that is bracketed by his. it’s enough to make you moan, the idea of him needing it just as much as you that he’s trying to hold himself back from getting off on your thigh too.

pressing your palms flat against his chest, you guide heeseung backwards in the direction of your bed (which you’re very suddenly glad you haven’t lofted). when the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress, he makes quick work of kicking his shoes off and then scrambling up so that his back rests against the wall. you follow suit, toeing off your party shoes and crawling onto his lap where he’s waiting patiently, his eyes wide and the browns of his eyes drowned out by his pupils. he’s breathing hard, chest heaving.

he looks up at you as you situate yourself, his hands coming to rest on your waist again. the expression on his face is nothing short of worshipful, like you’re a deity here to wrench your well-earned respect from his hands. and he is clearly ready to hand it over without a single fight. he guides you down onto him and you follow his hands willingly, your thighs straddling his and your clothed cunt just barely grazing against his hard-on until you settle down completely in his lap, not a centimeter of distance between you. the friction and pressure have both of you gasping wordlessly and heeseung tugs desperately at your hips. you fall into him, arms around his neck and pulling him to meet you halfway, lips locked once more. you give a tentative roll of your hips and heeseung moans into your mouth, just the reaction you were anticipating.

“fuck,” he moans the second time you do it. “you’re so good.”

you’re already hot, seared through to the bone, but you feel yourself go even warmer under heeseung’s praise. you’ve imagined this a million times over the last few weeks, but nothing could ever compare to the real thing. you kiss him harder, breathe him in deep to prove to yourself that this is real, that heeseung lee is under you right now, bucking his hips up into you and matching your movements, about to make you come just from a little bit of dry humping. it would be embarrassing if you weren’t both half-gone and ridiculously desperate.

you continue to rut against him, panting hot and heavy into his mouth as he swallows every single moan and whimper you let out just to return them tenfold, his hands working you over him with a rushed ease. every roll of your hips is met with his own presses upwards. he’s working you higher and higher with each move, closer to the precipice, and while you’ve never before thought you’d find yourself in a position like this, if heeseung makes you come without taking a single item of clothing off either of you, then so be it.

as if he’s read your thoughts, he presses you back and away from him. you open your eyes for the first time in minutes and take him in: messy hair, flushed cheeks, bruised lips. no wet dream could have ever prepared you for how beautiful he looks right now.

but no matter how pretty you think he is in this moment, the sudden absence of friction has you whining loudly, pitched high and tight. when you speak, your voice trembles out of frustration. “heeseung, why’d you stop?”

he sucks in a breath and moves to push at your shoulders some more. “don’t- fuck- don’t wanna come yet, not like this.”

if you weren’t already so fucked out, you would have giggled, but right now, you just feel exasperated. he’s right; you don’t want to come like this either, but you’d also come to terms with it because it would mean that you would at least be getting the release you’re so desperately craving. and that’s been ripped away from you, at least for the moment. but when he looks up at you again, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes still wide with need, you fold immediately.

“tell me what you want.” he’s practically begging you and it sends a thrill through you, liquid lightning straight to your heart. “please.”

and how can you deny him when he’s asked you so sweetly or when you’re just as needy as he is? at this point, whatever he’d offer, you would take gladly. he’s gazing at you now, waiting anxiously for an answer, not that you have a set one; you want him in any way he wants you, nothing else matters more than that. but you take in his swollen lips and lithe fingers and your mind is off to the races.

“i-” you start, but stumble over your words. you’d been incredibly forward when you’d kissed him first, but you’ve lost all of that fire now. you can’t bring yourself to ask for what you want, even though you’re certain he’d do anything you’d ask of him.

“c’mon,” he coaxes, fingers kneading into your shoulders to ground you. “whatever you want.”

the sound of his voice is earnest, nothing short of honest, and it makes you want to trust him more than anything. so you do. you draw in a steadying breath and curl your hands into his sweater as you work yourself up to it.

“will you-” another breath. “would you eat me ou-”

“yes,” he immediately answers. you don’t even get a chance to finish the question. “fuck. i thought you’d never ask.”

he moves his hands to cup your face and pulls you into him, kissing you sweetly, his nose bumping against yours. the minuscule break in sexual tension, while in most situations would be a mood killer, is nice because it just further cements that this isn’t some random one night stand; you want to see him every day for the rest of your life after this, if he’ll let you.

somewhere between the kiss and when he breaks away from you, he’s maneuvered you so that you’re laying back against your pillows. you’ve also managed to discard your shirt (thank god, the glitter and mesh combo was starting to irritate your skin something fierce) and he’s working to get your pants off, fingers fumbling with the button; it’s as frustrating as it is adorable and he swats your hands out of the way when you reach down to help him, deadset on doing it himself, which he does manage (eventually, after a few incredibly long moments). you help him shimmy down your jeans and panties by lifting your hips a little and then you are inarguably bare in front of him, a position you’d never imagined you would be in.

and maybe heeseung is a little wonderstruck too because for a few long seconds, he sits there and stares at you in all your naked glory (or nearly naked glory, seeing as you haven’t taken your bra off yet, but he doesn’t seem to mind). you’re starting to get a little bashful and have to nudge him with a bent knee to pull him out of his stupor. he’s impossibly red at the tips of his ears as he murmurs a sweet apology that comes accompanied by a “you’re just so pretty.”

before you can muster a reply, he’s situating himself between your legs, hands pressing softly against your inner thighs to draw them apart, set eyes on his real destination. you lift your head just a little bit, watching as his eyes widen as he takes all of you in, his breath hot against your folds. his fingers curl tight into the soft skin of your thighs and you whimper at the sting, equally painful as it is exhilarating. he makes an indistinguishable groan in the back of his throat before he’s completely devouring you.

plenty of your wet dreams about the boy between your legs right now have included this very scenario: his nose bumping carelessly against your clit, a suddenly confident tongue making a show of licking up all of your arousal, your thighs already trembling. but they never could have prepared you for the actual thing because he’s giving you what is quite possibly the best head you’ve ever had.

heeseung is eating you out like a man starved, it’s absolutely obscene. his tongue works you up fast, every little moan he lets out only contributing. somewhere in the midst, he says something that sounds like “you taste s’good,” but his words are drowned out by your own moans and the sound of his mouth working you over. every pass of his tongue over your folds is as close as you’ve ever gotten to heaven, but you’re lacking something to really shove you over that precipice; and now you know heeseung is so whipped he’ll do anything you ask him to.

“seung,” you gasp out breathlessly, untangling one hand from your comforter so you can wind your fingers into his hair. he looks up at you, doe eyes big and wide and glimmering with his eyebrows drawn together, a questioning look without pulling away to speak. you’re about to ask him when his nose bumps hard against your terribly sensitive clit and your word breaks off before the first syllable can even leave your lips. “fuck— seung, can you— can you add your fingers?”

you’re not quite used to asking for what you want, at least verbally; maybe it’s because any previous partners weren’t keen on getting you to verbalize, maybe it’s because they never particularly cared and just did what they thought was good. but heeseung is pliant and willing to please in any way he can, so you feel less embarrassed this time around because he’s made it entirely clear that your pleasure is his main priority.

he doesn’t nod, doesn’t say anything, just closes his eyes again and goes back to work. you almost think he either didn’t hear you or is straight up ignoring you before you feel it. he pulls his hand from your right thigh slowly, letting his fingertips drag lightly against your skin; the menace is teasing you, where did that come from? but you don’t even have much time to internally complain about him holding out on you because he’s suddenly slipping two fingers into you, long, deft limbs that expertly seek out that spot inside you. he presses against it once, twice, three times, each one drawing out a whine from you.

it’s just what you need, the extra friction pushing you up that incline, closer and closer to the dropoff. when your back arches off the bed and your thighs close around his head, boxing him in against your pussy, heeseung knows he’s got you right where you want to be and then he doesn’t let up. it’s an onslaught of pressure, four different points of sensation, and you’re on the verge of tears. he’s making a complete mess of you, utilizing all he can to get you over that edge. you’re whining his name like it’s the only word you know, “yes” and “fuck” and “oh my god” getting lost in your slurred speech; he’d be evil incarnate if he denied you what you’re so beautifully begging for.

he presses incessantly at that spongy place inside you, nose bumping against your little bundle of nerves, moans growing more frequent, all while his tongue tries to catch every single drop of arousal. and then there you go, ecstasy taking over like liquid heat in your veins. his name sounds like pure euphoria on your tongue, mixed with your moans and whines. he thinks he could come just from this alone, your cum in his mouth and your thighs pressed tight around him, but he holds off because there’s only one place he wants to leave his release (if you’ll let him, that is).

“shit.” 

you sound fucked out, completely gone and heeseung swears he’s never heard anything sexier. you tug at his hair a little bit, feeling completely overstimulated but still so good, a shock to your system as he pulls his fingers out of you and lets his tongue work over you just a little bit longer (to make sure you’re clean, he reasons to himself). 

eventually, he does pull away and you have to fight the urge to whine again. his eyes are unfocused and glossed over, his chin practically dripping in your arousal. hell, his tongue darts out to get the last little bit of your cum at the corner of his lips and you nearly orgasm all over again.

“was it good?” he asks softly and you barely hold yourself back from laughing. he just made you come harder than any previous partner ever has, given you the best head in the world, and he’s asking you if it was good? he’s insane for thinking it was anything short of perfect.

but you don’t say that. you reach for his sweater, fingers curling tight into the cotton and tugging him down towards you. he catches himself by his hands, his arms bracketing you easily, before he completely crashes into you. there’s a long moment where he just stares down at you, lovestruck and pretty, before he lowers himself to kiss you. you can taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, and you moan a little bit, feeling a little embarrassed, but one of his hands moves from its place on the mattress to cradle your cheek and that alone drives it away. 

one of your arms sneaks over his shoulder, your fingers tangling into the damp hair at the nape of his neck, while the other sneaks under his sweater, the shirt he wears underneath until the tips of your fingers brush the soft, pliant skin of his stomach. you can feel the gentle ridges of abs and a small piece of you shivers with giddiness. regardless, you enjoy a few seconds of running your fingers over his stomach before you push a little more incessantly at the offending pieces of material. he takes it for what it is: a plea to get rid of the clothes. after all, it’s not fair that you’re almost entirely undressed and he hasn’t taken a single article off.

you watch dazedly as heeseung sits back onto his heels, your eyes following his arms as he crosses them over himself, grasps at the hems, pulling them over his torso, his arms, his head before they land haphazardly on the floor next to your bed. every inch revealed to you makes your mouth water, his skin taut and soft and glowing in your fairy lights. you can’t help but remind yourself that dreams and an overactive imagination could never live up to the real thing because he’s very much the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.

you’re entirely prepared to continue your makeout session, but heeseung seems to have other ideas because once his tops are discarded, he begins making work of his jeans. you make a soft noise in the back of your throat when you realize what he’s doing and he looks up at you, fingers stilling at his belt, his eyes wide.

“is something wrong?”

he sounds so sincere, it kind of makes you want to cry. but you shake your head earnestly, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can look at him better. “no, no! everything is fine. i guess i just wasn’t expecting you to take your pants off so soon.”

he quirks an eyebrow at you and dons that pretty little smile of his, teasing but not really. “well, you’re almost completely undressed. figured it was only right that i do the same, y’know?”

and you laugh a little because it’s true and because he’s just so cute, he laughs too, soft and quiet. you generally think sleeping with someone is fun, but you’ve never had as much fun as you are right now. maybe it’s because it’s with heeseung and you like him so much already, so the playfulness comes easy; it doesn’t feel tense the way it has with others.

so you watch him handle his belt, the button on his jeans, the zipper. you watch, mouth watering once more, as he slips out of them, leaving his boxers, which have a dark wet patch on them. the sight alone would make you groan, but you can see the outline of his cock and you almost lose it completely. so you decide to resume the impatient act because you are still very much so; as cute as the playful routine is, you haven’t forgotten the exhilarating rush of trying to get to your dorm as fast as possible and the unpracticed fumbling that’s followed since then.

you reach for him and he doesn’t hesitate, letting you pull him on top of you by his shoulders, fitting your mouths together in a messy kiss, all teeth and tongues. your hands are in his hair again, his own slide underneath you to make work of your bra, unclasping it and then pulling the straps away from your shoulders, down your arms, making you let go of him for a quick few seconds so that he can pull it off completely and toss it god knows where in your room.

you’re distantly aware that you’re entirely bare to him now, but his mouth is working at your throat, dragging his teeth along the sensitive skin of your neck (he is strangely good at distracting you, you’re learning), so you don’t feel as shy as you did just a handful of minutes ago. either way, he’s sucking hickies into your shoulders, your collarbones, any skin that has a little bit of give to it that lets him leave love bites in his wake. so lost in the haze, you realize a little too late that he’s working his way towards your chest, but it doesn’t even matter, not when he has one hand kneading at one and his mouth at the other, tracing lines over your skin to quell the sting of each pinch, each little nip of teeth. your nipples pebble under his attention and while this never usually does much for you, you still find yourself getting antsy because it’s heeseung. everything he’s done for weeks has gotten you worked up, why would that stop now?

it doesn’t help that he’s grinding against you, his hips canting against your own for any semblance of friction. your arousal is no doubt contributing to the wet patch on his boxers and the idea of it almost has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. his cock feels hot and heavy against your folds, the head bumping against your clit, and all of it feels so delicious that you let out a crisp, high whine, twining your fingers into heeseung’s soft hair and tugging gently.

he pulls himself away from your chest and when you look at him, you almost moan. his lips are swollen, slick with spit, and his gaze has gone misty. he looks at you expectantly, blinking slow and lips pouted as he waits. you’re not even sure what you want from him right now, at least nothing specific because you want everything from him. you’re about to tell him to go back to doing what he was originally because it did feel good, but then he lands a particularly well-timed grind against you and you’re gasping.

“fuck,” you whimper, tossing your head back a little. your fingers tighten in his hair and from somewhere south of you, he laughs a little, light and easy and airy.

“that what you want from me?” he questions, pulling himself up over you, catching your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. in any other situation, it might come off as intimidating and teasing, but heeseung is all doe-eyed and halfway to heaven right now, so it comes off more desperate to please than anything. either way, you nod. “all you had to do was ask. you know that.”

you nod and pull him down to kiss you by the fingers you have twisted in his hair. he groans against you, moving his hand from your chin to your jaw, angling you just so. somewhere in the kiss, you murmur a soft, “seung, i want you,” and he groans a little, nodding against you. he pulls away and you chase after him, but he’s sitting up, moving lightning quick to get his boxers off, abandoned somewhere on the linoleum floor with everything else.

and then it hits you that you’re both completely bare. you lean back on your elbows, looking him over once more, though your focus lingers mostly on the skin newly revealed to you. his thighs are toned and sturdy, the skin plush, and while you’d love to stare at them a little bit more, your attention is quickly drawn to his dick. it’s big, the head an agitated red and leaking precum, and your mouth is watering at the thought of getting him in your position and giving him the best head of his life.

you actually start to move to do so, but heeseung anticipates it and moves quick, pressing you back into your mattress. his dark doe eyes are drowning in desire and you shudder under his gaze. he’s on you again instead, hips melded to yours in your nth kiss tonight. he’s got his weight rested on one elbow beside your head while his other arm is free to move around, his hand tracing from your shoulder, your chest, smoothing across your stomach. 

his fingers eventually land on your thigh, curling into the soft inner flesh, and he hikes it up around his waist before dropping his hand to his cock. his lips trail from your lips to your neck and shoulders, nipping at the skin as he jerks himself off. you toss your head back against your pillows, whimpering at every little graze of his teeth against your skin. 

but what’s really driving you crazy is the heat of him against you. the head of his cock bumps against your clit, this time with no fabric barrier separating them, and you’re not sure if heeseung is even meaning for the touch, but it has you feeling hot all over again, slick leaking out of you again. you’re getting impatient, heel pressing hard into his lower back and your fingernails biting into the flesh of his biceps.

“heeseung,” you whine out, canting your hips up against his; you hear him suck in a breath through clenched teeth, a hiss of air. “need you.”

he shivers against you, a teary whimper of “need you too” granted in return as he pulls his face from your neck so that he can watch you as he finally gets to what you’ve wanted since this whole thing started. on a short teasing streak, he taps the head of his cock against your clit and you whine, turning your head into your pillow and curling your fingers into his arms, which earns a laugh.

“stop playing,” you tell him, rolling your hips upwards and into him.

he hisses again and bites at his bottom lip, nodding. he slips from your clit to your entrance and even just the little shred of pressure you get has you wanting to moan out for him. but then he starts pressing in all the way, slipping into your cunt with ease and you are not prepared for just how full you feel. your back arches and he lets off a tempered moan, stifled through a lip bite. when he bottoms out, his hips flush with your own, you release a breath as you adjust to the size of him, which doesn’t take long.

“seung,” you drawl, grabbing his attention. “move please.”

and he does as you bid, pulling out before he thrusts back in. it takes a few moments for him to find a pace that works, but when he does, it’s perfect. his hips roll against yours delectably, the sounds of skin meeting skin and your shared moans filling the small dorm room. he’s shored up over you, one elbow pressed deep into the thin mattress holding him up, and when your eyes aren’t squeezed tight in ecstasy, you watch the way he bites his lip, furrows his eyebrows, shudders as you clench around him.

“god, you’re s’tight. feels so good,” he whimpers at one point, his head hanging over your own as he tries to keep a steady pace. his words are shattered, breaking off in the middle or slurred together, a verbal manifestation of how you physically feel.

one thrust hits that just right spot inside you and you can’t hold but moan loudly, back arching off the mattress and your head pressing into your pillows. heeseung inhales sharply above you as you clench tight around him and then, with you still keening, you feel him sit up, taking his warmth with him. his hands are on your hips seconds later and he’s angling you, doing everything in his power to replicate it again and again.

“fuck, i’ve wanted this for so long,” he says, one hand on your thigh and the other working deft fingers on your clit. he’s a quick learner it seems because all of it is coming together to whisk your orgasm closer, a wave of white heat washing over you. “saw you at my frat’s halloween party ‘nd thought you were so pretty. woulda come up t’you that night if i knew you felt this good.”

your breath hitches more than it has all night and you cant your hips upwards in an attempt to meet his thrusts. somewhere in the midst of your pleasure, you tell him you’re going to come and he nods fast, fingers going into overtime to get you there. that knot inside you winds up tight and then snaps like a rubber band stretched too thin, hot and fast. your pussy locks around his cock and then he’s there above you, bracing himself with his hand, to swallow the particularly sharp whine of his name you let out and any stray too-loud moans that might slip away and wake the neighbors (as if you haven’t already).

when your vision finally clears and your thighs stop trembling, his hips are still snapping into yours to seek his own release, pushing you into the territory of overstimulation, but any pain you have bleeds into pleasure until you can’t tell which is which; the only thoughts you can manage are that heeseung feels heavenly inside you that it’s almost blinding and you don’t know if you even really want him to stop. 

but his hips begin to stutter, his cock twitching against your fluttering walls, and you faintly register that he’s about to pull out of you. blindly, your hand searches for any part of him to pull him back over you, legs locking around his waist. he protests, some flurry of words about how he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable (not a single one intelligible), while you whine and pull him towards you by his shoulder.

“wanna feel you, seung,” you say, a limp arm winding around him and inching him closer until your noses are brushing and you can feel his breath fanning across you, still smelling faintly of his alcohol from earlier. “don’t worry about it, ‘kay? y’said you’d do anything, so please. i wanna feel you s’bad.”

that seems to be enough to egg him on because he nods and you catch him in a messy kiss before he groans against your lips as he finally comes. he lands a few more sharp thrusts that have you whining, fucking his cum into you, before he finally falls still. his breath is hot on your shoulder as he recovers.

usually, once you’re done, your select partner of the night pulls out, maybe cleans you up, and then leaves. it’s been a while since you’ve had someone who wants to stay (at least, you hope heeseung wants to stay) and you’re not quite sure where to go from here. there hadn’t really been much discussion about where your relationship was going to lead after this, even with all of the lingering glances on campus and your impromptu study sessions at the library, so you’re worrying a little about what comes after.

stuck in your own head, you don’t even notice that heeseung has pulled his head from your shoulder and is looking at you until his thumb works your bottom lip out from beneath your teeth and then wipes away some of the sweat at your hairline. the furrow of his eyebrows carve deep lines into the space between them as he studies you, looking like an angel with the way the fairy lights strung up above him give him a faint golden halo.

“what’re you thinking about?” he asks softly, brushing his fingers across your cheek. it’s a wholly different energy than just a few minutes ago, but the change isn’t unwelcome.

you shrug, blinking up at him and reaching to push some of his hair out of his eyes, the strands matted to his forehead with sweat. “just wondering what we do now, i guess.”

heeseung’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles a little, his shoulders shaking with a breathy little laugh. you almost punch at his shoulder for laughing at you when he cranes his head down to kiss you gently, the first that isn’t rushed in some way. he nudges your nose with his when he pulls back just a little bit.

“can we worry about all the big stuff later?” he questions; you feel the words as much as you hear them, his lips barely brushing your own as he says them. “for now, how about we clean up first and then… i’m hungry. are you?”

it’s your turn to laugh, but you nod. you’re still a little drunk, your however many cups of jungle juice compared to his measly one whiskey.

“so we clean up and then go get taco bell? it’s, like, the only fast food place still open at this hour.”

“you do know that the line is gonna be insane, right? like, half of campus goes there after getting drunk.”

heeseung lets another quiet laugh loose and sits up, pulling you up with him and then into his lap, his dick still snug inside you. the feel of it doesn’t wind you up again like you thought it might, but it’s a nice reminder that he’s here, that this all actually happened. he rests a hand on your thigh and lets his thumb trace lines into the skin there absently.

“then i guess we’ll have time to talk about what you wanna do now,” he says sincerely, the smile on his face soft.

you have so many words you want to say, a million sentences tornadoing in your head right now, all jumbled up and lacking any sense of coherency. so instead, you cup his cheeks in your hands and return the kiss from just a few moments ago. he meets you halfway, all soft and pliant and giving, everything you could have dreamed up.

“wanna shower?” you ask when you pull away, giggling when he chases after you for another kiss. “feel like it might be a little more effective than a rag.”

the boy raises an eyebrow and eyes you suspiciously. “you tryin’ to go for a round two? because that’s what it sounds like right now.”

you push at his shoulders and laugh when he catches your wrists in his hands, pulling you into a third kiss. “wasn’t my intention, but i won’t turn down the idea.”

“i’ll think about it,” he responds as he taps at your hips and lifts you off of him. his seed starts to leak out with his cock no longer there to hold it in and you feel incomplete without him, but when he stands and offers you a hand to help you out of bed, suddenly the feeling of emptiness isn’t as oppressive.

you teeter across your room, opening the wardrobe to pull out the two towels you have and your shower caddy. heeseung accepts the towel you extend to him graciously, wrapping it around his waist. when you’re done securing your own towel, he’s already waiting for you by the door, one hand on the knob and the other reaching out towards you once you get close enough to him. and then you’re two people walking down the hall hand in hand, wrapped in matching pink towels towards the unisex bathroom. it’s a little unconventional, maybe, but you don’t think you’d have it any other way.

liv probably would though, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. heeseung’s your little secret after all.

© hoshologies 2023. do not translate, copy, or repost my work on any site.

[deafsignifcantother]

if music be the food of love chapter 10

♥ here you go lovies, it’s series time |��chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven, chapter eight, chapter nine, chapter eleven ♥ summary: husk has some news that confirms one of your worries, oh how you hate having your worries confirmed. ♥ relationships: aroace Alastor x deaf female reader (now purely romance) ♥ word count: 3.3k ♥ pinterest board ' it has outfit inspo in it now ♥ notes: reader sits on alastor's lap, i'm a bowtie hater, drunk and sad reader

You depart your room after redoing his ascot, and then you both go separate ways. A pair of cockroaches scuttle under your feet, practically running in circles. You stop and watch them. It's as if they're dancing. Their thick bodies rock back and forth against the speed of their tiny legs, and they move so fast that they appear to be vibrating.

To not disturb them, you take a big step forward, lifting your dress and passing them with the politeness of a princess. When you release your puffed dress layers, a gust of air brushes past them. You hope they have a good rest of their day.

The hotel's maze-like habitat has been long memorized; you're used to the desolate hallways, so when somebody grabs your arm, a hand much smaller than Alastor's, your eyes darken when you turn around.

Husk grips onto you with a touch so light it's comparable to a child. He's touching you; has he ever done that? You fight the urge to grimace, the overlord in you clouding your friendliness. He's a friend, he's a friend, he's a friend.

"Can I talk to you?" He slowly withdraws his hand. You look him up and down. When you turn to face him fully, his ears bend back. Nervousness. Fear? No, possibly just pure anxiety.

"It's early Husker, at least fix me a drink first."

He is tentative when he leads you to the elevator. Therefore, he doesn't even look at you when the numbers on the elevator light up and the doors open. All the doors appear the same to you—dark red and under stripped chandeliers. He didn't hold the door for you when he opened the entrance to his room, filled with the pungent smell of sweat and felines. The sun barely penetrated his closed curtains.

"The extermination is in a few weeks," he turns to you. "What are you going to do?"

Your eyebrows raise. You're not going to fight. You never have and never planned on it. The realization of Husk's question hits you quicker than you'd like. You've never second-doubted your decision to leave, but you hum when Husk makes the opposing suggestion. Would Alastor let you go? Does the demon cherish you enough to ensure your safety, or is he curious enough to force you to battle?

"You don't think he'd let me flee, do you?" You ask, hiding the dread growing in your stomach.

He shakes his head. "I don't think he's ever intended to."

"Before," you start, picturing him at the bar and you sitting before him, "You said to me he told you I was coming."

"After Charlie brought up the extermination."

"I thought so," you lied. How many hidden plans did Alastor have? Many. Many.

After finding the abandoned, discreet home amongst the trees, you stayed there throughout every massacre. Angels never bothered you, never even knew you were there. You would remove your speaker, turn the lights off, and wait for it to end. If you looked out your window, you only saw the portal in the sky. In the end, there was a trace of those winged entities that you've been exposed to every year, but you've never thought about what the battle must look like. You step past Husk, sitting on his stiff bed.

"There's a war ahead," Husk signs. "Are you ready for it?"

You look around his room. A heavily worn deck of cards is on his desk, and button-ups are visible in an open wardrobe. Despite your growing nervousness, you try to hold your pose.

"Tell me," you start, ignoring his question. "Yes, somewhere deep in my heart I've considered it, so I know you're the one to tell me the truth. Was he always intending me to fight against the angels?"

At his hesitance, you continue, "To sacrifice me? To see how long I'd last?"

He wouldn't lie to you; with this, he knows the truth is not the easiest thing for you to get. "I ain't gonna claim to know what goes on in Alastor's head... but I do know that when he mentioned you, it wasn't for any good reason. Alastor doesn't do things out of the kindness of his heart."

"I'm more than aware." With the sick pounding of your heart, you focus your energy on maintaining eye contact. "But what do you think? What do you believe?"

He can see the uncertainty in your eyes. He takes a deep breath, standing awkwardly. "Listen, kid." Kid. How rude. "We both know he's a cunning bastard, and I wouldn't put it past him to use even you for... whatever reason he has in mind."

"Might have he changed his mind?"

Once you have sign it, you realize how pathetic you must be.

"Changed his mind? Hell, it's Alastor we're talking about. But for you... I've seen him change his mind as often as he changes his socks. Still, be cautious."

You almost frog-blink. Be cautious? With him? You've spent years being cautious around him enough to trust his hands with your life. But those years away, those cursed years, must have changed him. He would have never done this before then.

You square your shoulders, tilting your head up, robotically signing. "What do you suppose I do about it?"

Oh, how do you wish Zestial had a cellphone. Is it time for another visit? You should tell Alastor he had asked you to come over and never return. That ancient soul will protect you from anything the deer has planned for you.

"If you're able to, figure out what his angle is." Immediately, Husk turns to his desk, opens a drawer, and pulls out an unopened bottle of Buchanan's. "Do you want some?"

"Yes. What a pleasing offer."

"I don't have glasses, so here. It's a gift."

You stand to pull it from him when he offers it.

"A parting one?"

"No," he shakes his head with a furrow of his brows. Your joke does not entertain him. "Don't even think about it."

.

Exiting his room, you are greeted by the fresh smell of what you assume is a usual hotel. Your gaze goes from the ceiling to the elevator ahead. What choice do you have? You wander down, steps slow, treasuring the moment of isolation. There's one plan in mind to play on his affection for you. He must have changed his mind even a little bit. This romantic development is unique to him, that's for sure. It could mean that he decided to do anything but risk your demise. Or possibly not; it could have led him to anticipate your fight even more. The thought of him swooping in to save you from harm is more than charming, unknown.

But angels are different than demons. You can handle your own against one of your kind; it's undeniable that angels could destroy you in a second.

If romance doesn't work, what else do you have? What do you have against him?

You claw at your palm, the other hand still gripping the bottle.

What are his weaknesses? What do you have against the Radio Demon?

Your mind flickers through the years you've spent together. He's never never appeared sad-

No, he has.

Alastor's ears droop when he talks about his mother, when reminisces about their time together when he was alive. But what could that mean for you?

Mother, mother, mother.

A hum leaves your lips. You could play on that, for sure. And it could be unfair, but he started it. Stepping into the elevator, you slowly develop a plan. What are some motherly actions? Reading to him, rubbing his head, gentle touches and lullabies? Could you find a way to play music like that? If it means your life, you'll find a way.

As you step towards the top of the staircase, you look down at the people below. Angel is texting on the couch; Nifty is scurrying and stabbing holes into the carpet.

The angel in the shape of a woman walks across the lobby, noticing your figure before anybody else and looking at you. The stoic look on her face doesn't falter, but she does mutter something, eyes flickering away.

Every day you fight the urge to regard these residents with contempt.

Just a few weeks ago, Alastor came to speak with you about the hotel. You've now started considering his offer as blabbering, but he convinced you nonetheless; you decided to be annoyed he hadn't come by sooner. He had smiled to you and signed; it only hits you now that he remembered the language even after over half a decade of absence.

The bar looks desolate without Husk behind the barrier. 'Congierge', as if he'd partake in that. You run your hand across the structure, placing the bottle down. When you sit, you can only stare at the bronze shelves as you use your nails to pop the drink open. You hold the sour-smelling bottle to your lips, spinning on the stool, eyes dazing over in thought.

Where would you even begin? You should find a way to feed him just as he had fed you, as if he'd let you. But that's the fun of this, isn't it? Seeing what he'll let you do. It's like a masked adventure. You've driven him to sensitivity while he's driving you to sadism. You smile at the thought.

You drink until the bottle is around half empty and push the opened bottle over the counter without being bothered by its loud clattering. Whether it is shattered or not doesn't even cross your mind as you lift yourself, turning to the side before your body does. Alastor isn't here. You expected him to grab you. An empty lobby greets you. Angel is nowhere to be seen, and the only sign that Nifty is even there is the ragged floor.

You grunt. It's not an uncommon circumstance for you. With the flickering of the lights, the isolation quickly becomes charming. The hotel is comforting when so barren. The flavorless sting in your throat clouds every bit of saliva you swallow down. You stumble when the wooden floor turns into carpet—stumble, what are you, 16? Considerably ridiculous. You hold your breath when you step up the stairs. Nothing is worse to you than apparent intoxication, which the V's entertained many decades ago. Valentino would hold your waist and dance; you'd follow his slow footsteps. Velvette must still have the videos. You think about that as you step up the stairs. What you noticed most about the V tower was the posters of themselves they hung up. It's like your living world, where wealthy families hang paintings of themselves over fireplaces. But theirs are marginally less affluent and infinitely more self-absorbed. Though, who are you to talk? Vox gifted you a poster of your own, although an inappropriately funny one (bright red lipstick, kissy marks framing your body, loved wineglass in your hand). Where is it now? A part of you wishes more than anything you can say hello to them again, but alliances are alliances, and enemies are enemies.

Your music traditionally plays familiar sounds that can be repetitive when you lack severe emotions, and with the wooziness of intoxication, the only noticeable difference is glissandos.

Alastor's room seems miles away. There are times when, as impending as the doom can be, you open the door to his absence and get the clue of fear. You wonder if it'll get on his last nerve each time you let yourself in. It doesn't stop you. As you've said before, he'd never hurt you. And as he retorted, "physically."

The rest of the walk proceeded slowly, painfully so. With every step, your brain stood on edge as you grew accustomed to Alastor's sudden appearance. But his presence isn't haunting the hallways. Thankfully, mercifully, his doorknob opens with ease. He often locks it, but Lord knows your hair pins pry it open as easy as slipping in earrings.

Despite the intrusion, you open the door slowly. Alastor sits at his desk, the lamp off but light still illuminating his stacks of papers, the ones hanging from the skeleton on his wall.

He doesn't glance over at you, but his smile does grow, and he drops his pen. You kick your shoes off and close the door behind you.

What now, what now, what now, what now?

You start to chew on the inside of your mouth but stop. There needs to be no sign of nervousness.

When you wrap your arms around his neck, he tilts his head, leaning into you. The side of his head nuzzles into your bicep. Your other hand brushes against a fabric, cotton, not silk. He took the ascot off. A hum leaves you. He kept everything else except the ascot, replacing it with a bowtie. He kisses your sleeve and then grabs your wrist, moving your hand to brush his lips against your knuckles.

His eyes follow you when you lower from his grasp. Pressing one hip against the desk, you swoop his bangs from his face and press a kiss to his forehead, a soft one, a hand cradling his face. With your body this close, he can smell the drunkness. When you try to place another kiss, he tilts his head up; you stop, your eyes meeting each other at an equal level.

You can see your reflection in his monocle.

You sign. "It was the ascot, wasn't it?"

"Oh, my dear, I loved the ascot. Truly, I did! Just thought it didn't suit me."

The banter is familiar, so easy to fall into.

"I quite liked the boys who wore them," you sign, smiling at how his smile tightens; you kiss the corner of his lips, pulling back with an opposite, warm smile. "But I suppose the bow tie is a close second, though they're entirely past my time."

All he knows from your time is museum pieces and infamous paintings.

What you love most about these conversations is how you can distinctly notice when Alastor searches through his memory. His usually stable iris will flicker back and forth just slightly. He shifts his weight, using his foot against the wall to push back his seat. He grabs both your hands with him, leading you into his lap. Your dress cascades down the side as you sit horizontally across his thighs.

"Ah, really now? Perhaps I'll have to wear ascots more often then, just for you, darling." He signs, completely dishonest, the teasing not going past your head.

To someone your age, his outfit is only a few trends before contemporary fashion like Velvette's. From the coat that holds his body to the bowtie he keeps around his neck, what others consider outdated is your modern. And in comparison, you look like a figure of class and an entirely ancient elegance.

"Would you actually?" Your sly smile and signs portray a preppy expression. "I might have to keep you to that."

"You're threatening me." He jokes, a hand reaching to grip your waist as he quickly bounce his heels, boosting your body upwards in one motion. His light tone is a response to your intoxication. You laugh, realizing in a second that you've long forgotten your intent at motherly behavior. You're draped across his lap and giggling like a girl. Holding a mature composure is complicated when he's holding you like this. The idea of The Radio Demon cooing at you leaves you completely vulnerable. And for a deadly, terrifying overlord yourself, he finds you thoroughly adorable.

You tilt your head. "You're the one who offered it, are you not a man of your word?"

He takes a second to admire your expression. Never in his afterlife had he thought that he would end up like this, lovestruck and affectionate. He can barely respond; the sight of him before him is entrancing. Here are two overlords, dangerous and vile, holding each other kindly. The words of your comical conversation dance together like cockroaches.

"Of course I am, my dear. Of course I am."

"Then perhaps we can venture outside together while you wear what you consider the non-suiting ascot."

"Are you simply trying to get me to put it back on? I believe I made it clear that any ascot-"

"Tomorrow, what do you think?" You grab his hands and put them down. Your previous despair toward him is gone, replaced by the adoration you've developed.

His smile drops just a bit, and his eyes widen at the smallest amount. Beyond being willing to merely stroll in public, your wanting to do it by his side brings back decades of memories. Oh, how he's missed watching the citizens avoid the two of you, pointing out his favorite restaurants, and going inside with you. "You want to be seen in public again?"

"I do, I think you should show me around. I want to see what the world has been up to since I've been gone. Since we've been gone. Let's go explore, yes?" Your eyes investigate his expression, trying to decipher if it's hesitance or surprise.

He studies you back. He gives a soft smile, his facade returning as he nods. "It certainly sounds like a lovely idea, dear."

You lift a finger, straightening your spine. "The ascot will be included though." Your other hand rests on his shoulder, a small gesture of approval, a gentle touch.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm starting to think you only want me to wear an ascot, darling!"

"Perhaps, or perhaps not. Who's to say?" You grab one of his hands, put it to your cheek, and rest your head on it. Your smirk comes subconsciously; you hardly notice how loving you're being. He lets out a huff through his nose, letting his thumb brush over the soft skin.

His other hand lifts. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

You hum. "I wonder who I learnt it from."

With a slight turn of your head, you kiss his gloved palm. With strangely unfamiliar softness on his features, you can only match his jesting tone.

"Me?" He laughs in mock surprise, hand twitching as you kiss it. "How dare you, my dearest! I am a bastion of courtesy. Maybe you've become a sassy thing all on your own."

"Sassy? You think I'm sassy? You dare say that, you?" You pipe up. Your eyes widen slightly, and your smile only grows. You kiss his hand again, this time a quick peck, but your lips remain close as you sign. "You're the sassiest man I've ever met."

He gently presses his claws against your cheekbone as he responds. He could taunt you all day and never get tired of it. "You wound me with your words, you're practically bursting with cheeky wit."

"Yes, I am. But tomorrow, yes?" You rewind, sitting up off his lap, releasing his hand.

He gives a slight nod. "Tomorrow, my love! I'll retrieve you sometime in the afternoon, how does that sound? We can start exploring the city."

"Oh, how I adore you more than anything." You lean and softly kiss his cheek. Once you lift, his eyes lock on yours with his usual stare, his strict smile locked onto his face. Your mind wanders to his wretched intentions, forcing you into battle to test your life. It's sobering. You continue, trying not to give away your souring mood, focusing on the good things so your music remains golden. "Thank you for everything, Alastor."

He sits rigid, once again caught off guard by your affection. His thoughts are still momentarily, processing the feeling of your lips on his face. He is thankful you hadn't kissed his lips, despite how much he would've wanted it. It's kind of you to remember his indecision toward direct physical tenderness without his initiation. The kiss on the cheek is a welcomed middle ground, not too overwhelming nor emotionally far away.

"Of course, darling. You're very welcome."

When you step away, one of his hands returns to his desk, signaling an ending conversation. So you give him a small, mostly sarcastic bow, turning to your room to plan your outfit for tomorrow. A day dress, indeed. Should you go lace? That would be funny.

[anyamaris]

Another Us Pt.2

Genre: Angst

Summary: Daily chaos is a norm for you, but with the reemergence of a past memory showing up, as well as a new interest, your life is turned upside down. And your roommates aren't helping.

Angsty angst, past pain, slow burn Seonghwa!au x f!reader

Word Count: 1,200+

Warnings- Vulgarity, references to drinking, lots of angst.

Part 3

Part two cause I can't stop writing. I was just going to get thoughts out but it's turned into a very slow burn. Sorry in advance! I'm having far too much fun with side character San and Woo to cut those out either ahah.

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Well, that wasn't how he'd pictured seeing you again, Seonghwa thinks as he gazes across at you. He'd barely even recognized you. Despite the darkness of the space and the heavy atmosphere, he can see your eyes clearly. And those were not friendly eyes.

Seonghwa lets his gaze sweep briefly over your outfit 'or lack thereof' he thinks, before coming back to your eyes. Quite a drastic change from the oversized hoodies and messy buns he remembered as your style.

He barely registers that you're the girl who almost fell at the bar before he tunes back into the conversation. Yunho and Mingi had asked him to come out tonight after their shoot and he wasn't sure he wanted to stay out long. Clubs weren't really his thing. The momentary tiny pang of happiness from recognizing just WHO you are is smothered by your cold eyes and words that follow his introduction.

"Nice to meet you, Seonghwa." A mild shock then the tiniest twinge of something in the back of his head has him just nodding, gaze leaving yours but not before searching your eyes once more. Hmm...she's definitely much different, much more than just clothes and hair. He thinks. Curious. He knows you haven't spoken in a long time, but for the life of him, he can't really recall why at the moment. Then he drops his eyes as a memory reminds him of exactly why you'd look at him that way. Of course I wouldn't want to remember then, he thinks, sighing.

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Bastard. Showing up here, with MY friends? After all these years, you should feel cold and indifferent looking at his stupid face.

Clearing your throat, you look away and sip your drink, eyes scanning for the two silly boys who had disappeared into the crowd of writhing, sweaty bodies. As the conversation carries on after what feels like an eternity staring into the depths of his eyes (depths of his eyes, what are you even thinking, Y/n??), you smile at your friends and just try to act as if he's just another person, not the person you most wanted to forget in this world. Ah fate, you cruel bitch, you sneer into your drink.

You feel your hair bring pushed behind your shoulder and look up into Woo's concerned face. "Hey babe, you ok? Not gonna dance? Still tired from work? Can I fix your makeup?" After a moment of silence you burst out laughing. Ah god, your friends were so great. "Do you even want an answer or are you just talking to talk, Woo?" "Yes!" He smiles at you, clapping his hands together. You giggle and he grabs your hand and pulls you off to go primp and then drags you out to where San is on the floor, where you can let off some steam and tire yourself out.

'I'm not her anymore, she's another person. and from the looks of it, so is he. We are just meeting, that's all. I don't know him anymore.'

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Stretching and yawning, you peek your head out from beneath your covers. OOF, you think, HEADACHE. As you reach for your water and some Tylenol on the nightstand, you hear giggling from under your covers. "UGH not again, you two!" Without looking, you crank your foot back and kick. "WAHHH!" you hear San squeal and another giggle from Woo can be heard as they both squirm.

"Seriously, San, you LIVE here. Go to your own bed! Why do you both have to always crawl in with me?!" you yell, pulling yourself up and searching for your slippers. "Y/n, you wouldn't let go of Woo, you asked him to take you to bed!" San says, smirking. "Well, doesn't mean you need to come too." you grumble. "But your bed is more comfy...and bigger...and plushies...." You watch them get quiet and look at each other before they both burst out laughing again and tickling each other. Ok, you hide your smile as you think, I can't get mad at that.

"Ok you two weirdos, let me make you some food, I need a cup of coffee for this hangover." You slowly make your way out to the kitchen with the two energizer bunnies circling you like hungry sharks and smother another laugh.

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"Work sucks", you hear behind you and you sigh. "Woo....think of something original, I'm sick of you saying the same whiny statement when you're bored. Don't deja vu me." you mutter, looking up to the same sight you see almost every time you two work together. Wooyoung, touching everything, spinning in circles, doing random dances. It's adorable, but also VERY distracting. "Go like...give someone a makeover." You wave your hand at him to shoo him Woo pouts and puts his head on his hands on the counter in front of you, trying to look cute. I mean, he is cute but still. "It's 8pm, noone wants a makeover on a Thursday at 8pm. Let's gossip!" he exclaims, clapping his hands together. You sigh, smiling despite wanting to discourage him.

"Ok ...let's gossip. What do you want to gossip about?" You ask, side eyeing him. "So....tell me what you think of the guy your roommates brought to the club last week! Dreamy? Sexy? Sexier than me? No way, but he's kinda sexy right? You thought about it?" You close your eyes briefly feeling another headache creeping up. Not really wanting to talk about him, and also being overwhelmed with the barrage of questions you just sigh. "I suppose." you toss out, not really wanting to comment much more. Woo is just going right ahead, and you smirk. He really didn't want your feedback, he just wanted to talk and chatter away. You let him and half listen.

"And then Yunho said we could so we will see that guy Seonghwa this weekend! Aren't you excited?! I'm so glad we have so many reasons to have our little side projects." He sighs and looks off into space, daydreaming. "Wait-what are we doing this weekend?" You'd totally blanked whatever he was talking about but you definitely heard HIS name.

"The makeup gig, babe!" Woo exclaims. "...makeup gig?" You stutter out, looking at him oddly. He just sighs and pats your head. "Ah right, I forgot how drunk you got that night. Man you were a mess! But hey you danced for once! Oh right," he states, looking at your glare, "So Yunho and Mingi were talking about having an upcoming shoot for some new ad and Seonghwa is in charge of it! He works for some kind of studio, I dunno the details." He waves his hands. "Kim Hongjoong is the photographer, I'm so excited!" He dances around. You recognize the name, Woo having a certain love for doing video stuff you didn't understand, but you'd definitely heard him prattle on about that guy before. Some kind of popular photographer for idols and such.

"Oh...cool." You say, trying to smile. We're doing makeup for them? Shit shit shit. Wait, it doesn't mean he's going to be there, right? Well, so what if he is? It's a job. And it's makeup, your love. A past pain that should have been forgotten shouldn't destroy what you've got NOW.

Squaring your shoulders, you brighten your smile, feeling it this time. "Yeah, me too, Woo. Me too." You watch him dance around, thinking about him meeting someone he looked up to and just let your brain fog over the things that don't matter anymore.

"Let me borrow some of that energy so we can finish this day out!" You yell at him as he spins around like a top and you giggle.

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"But moooooom, I don't wanna clean!" you hear San crying behind you. "San, you know we all agreed when we moved in that I wouldn't live with you if you weren't going to keep your end of the chores up unless you were busy, right?" You ask him, and he stops. Looking at you with his puppy eyes and pouting, he looks down and toes the ground. "Not going to work today, pal. Your clothes are everywhere. At the very least, just go pick those up so I can do -" you sigh as he runs off to do exactly what you said. "....laundry." You end on a laugh. How in the world did I end up working and living with the most insane people? You shrug and go about the normal routine. You smile as you remember when you all agreed to move in together after having been friends for so long. It's too bad Josie's parent's don't want her to leave home yet, you think. It'd be nice to not be the only girl amongst all these guys. Apartment with roommates my ass, you think. More like bachelor pad with a live in maid.

Really though, you loved each and every one of them. And it wasn't a bad deal. You didn't pay too much for rent and they footed the bill for groceries and all. You had agreed to do most of the cleaning stuff when they were all so busy. You actually loved this setup a lot, you'd just never admit it to them. It was more fun to give them back some of their attitude.

You turn and finish putting away the dishes in the kitchen when you hear the door open and close. "HEY!" you yell from the kitchen. "I won't harass you guys to clean, since we will be out doing stuff today! You're lucky!"

You hear talking and walk out into the living area but stop. Mingi, Yunho and some man you've never met are discussing something. Yunho looks over and gives you a thumbs up as they continue talking. "Who's that?" you mouth at him, eyes big. He smirks back at you and waggles his eyebrows, making you smile and blush. Hey, who could blame you? The man they brought was stunning. Beautiful black hair, swept back from his forehead, his face looks like the gods sculpted it. As he turns and smiles at you in greeting, you barely suppress a gasp. His eyes are stunning. If this were a comic, you'd be knocked backwards dramatically off your feet, you think and smirk.

Yunho recovers from his teasing and introduces you. "Y/n, this is my costar, Yeosang. Yeosang, Y/n. She's our roommate." He smiles sweetly and gives you a polite bow. "Nice to meet you, Y/n. Thank you for having me." You can't help but smile at his demeanor and manners. "Of course, don't mind the chaos here, it's always like this." You gesture vaguely to the loud singing coming from a room away, sure sign that San has likely gotten distracted by something, while you look around at the explosion of clothes and other random items strewn around. Meanwhile, Mingi is yammering away on the phone to someone, from the sounds of it, it's work related. He gives you an understanding smile and shakes his head. "Ah, yes, Y/n, what are you wearing?" Yunho exclaims, looking you over. Clapping his hands together, he rushes you into your room. "No wearing rags and aprons to the shoot, you gotta look professional!"

Closing the door behind you, you just roll your eyes. Like I'd wear this, you think. You've still got-SHIT!

Your thoughts spin as you realize you have about 30 minutes to get ready before you need to leave to arrive to the shoot on time. "Damnit, SAN!" you mutter as you start throwing clothes around.

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Your hopes are dashed and your stomach hits your feet when you all walk into the studio. Well fuck, you think. So much for HIM not being here. Steeling yourself, you just continue walking with the rest of the group and act like nothing is amiss, your head isn't spinning from catching a whiff of his scent as you walk by without looking at him. "Hey Seonghwa!" "Hi HWA!" everyone exchanges greeting as you inquire where to set up and Woo follows along. "I love being in places like this, makes me feel like I'm doing something important." Woo says calmly and you look over. He's actually not bouncing around for once and you smile. You are always shocked by his professionalism. You know he can be serious but it's still makes your head spin when you watch the switch happen right in front of you. He was practically flying out of his seat in the car ride over. Smiling and knowing how much you trust your coworker, you both begin to work.

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It's going well so far, you think, looking into the mirror. Sighing, you wash your hands and head out of the girls room. You love the feeling of a day well spent, making people look good with your own hands. Woo was eating up the attention to, so it was an all around great day. He was occupied and using his energy for good.

You glimpse over at the beautiful man that you'd met earlier that day and he smiles back and nods at you. You'd done his makeup earlier for the shoot and he'd not spoken much, but when he did, he was super sweet. He'd just stared calmly at you and those eyes... And wow, what a face! You hated having to cover up that beautiful birthmark too. But work was work. Shrugging, you turn towards the hallway to the room they'd said they would have water and refreshments.

Lost in your thoughts, you halt right before you run smack into someone walking towards you. Idiot, you think, stop thinking about random crap and pay attention! You laugh in your head before everything goes silent, as you find yourself face to face with HIM.

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One minute you're standing like a statue staring up into Seonghwa's (stupid) face and the next he's dragging you into the room and shutting the door. "What-" you start and he turns around to you and frowns. Your mouth works and then you look away, wordless, a huff leaving your mouth as you cross your arms.

"What can I help you with, sir?" You manage. His frown stays in place and he mimics your movement, crossing his arms as well. "Sir? I'm not sure what your game is but playing it off like we don't know each other is a bit much, isn't it?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Game? Sorry, I'm just here to work, I'm not here to play games." you hiss back at him, unable to stop the undertone of anger from slipping out.

Seonghwa sighs, uncrossing his arms and running a hand through his hair. "Look, Y/n, it's been a long time and honestly, we were kids when we last talked and hung out. I just wanted to at least get on the same page as you, since we've both ended up here, working together." he says, his eyes trying to look into yours.

You frown at him, feeling childish all of a sudden. How can he be so calm, just standing there, looking at you like he hasn't a clue why you'd have a chip on your shoulder? Shaking your head, you do your best to remember all the steps to calm yourself. Breathe, check. Ground, check. Can I fix this and will anything good come out of lashing out? Nope. Ok, I can control this situation and my emotions so....

"Ok, I admit. I wasn't prepared the other night to see you again after so long and I was drinking. I wasn't thinking when I acted like I didn't know you. But-" You stop him before he can interrupt you, holding up your hand. "BUT, we are going to be adults and work together. We aren't friends. We are nothing more than coworkers, spending time in the same space, two people who know NOTHING about each other anymore."

He takes a step back from you and nods slowly. "I understand. Look, I have no issues with being around you. I know before-" You cut him off before he can address the past. "No." you state, coldly. His eyes stare into yours, searching. "No?" he asks. "No, we aren't talking about anything besides work. I won't go back there. You can if you want but you'll do it alone. Just like you've always done." You can't help but throw that last bit in there and you wince at your pettiness.

Before he can open his mouth again, because you know what a hypocrite you're being, you grab a bottle of water and walk past him. "I'm sorry." You whisper, stopping right next to him, "That was childish of me and....I'm just not going to be able to be a good person around you right now. I know you understand." You turn your head and look up at him, your nerves on edge but knowing you need to look right at him.

It still sucks to look into his big, dark eyes and pretend you feel nothing. You'd spent years doing that when you were both younger, and everything was seemingly easier. When there felt like there was hope. Caring. Before you broke, like the Legos you fell on that day.

Looking him straight in the eye, you say calmly, "I'm no longer the girl who ruins everything. I've worked very hard on killing her off and I never want to see her again."

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Seonghwa watches as you walk past him and out the door. The look in your eyes hadn't left him feeling very good.

Letting out a sigh, he scratches his head. Yeah, he definitely knew. He'd suppressed the memories of back then for so many other reasons, but they were selfish. He'd definitely been a different person back then, for sure. And your comment brought him right back to that night when he'd said that to you. The last time he'd seen you.

"Fffff- fuck." He mutters into his hand. He'd remembered things had been complicated but he'd been a stupid kid. He really hadn't ever thought too hard about you beyond regret at having made you cry. He hadn't wanted to. And then never being able to work up the courage to find you afterwards to explain.

"She's right." He whispers. "We really don't know each other anymore." His insides warring between sadness, regret and a small twinge of hope, he exits through the door you left open behind you.

Doesn't mean we can't know who we both became though, he thinks.

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"Haha! Nerds!" You hear behind you as you and Seonghwa walk down the hall. "Bullshit bullies and their bullshit mouths." You smirk, looking up at him. But, instead of laughing along with you like he normally would, you watch as he stares off into space.

"Hey, what's up? You ok?" you ask, reaching out for him. You hate to see him sad or broody, and you go to push back a strand of hair that's fallen forward in his eyes. You wish he wouldn't cover his face with all that hair, his face was so beautiful to you, you think dreamily.

He swats your hand away and you are slightly taken aback. His pretty brain must be off somewhere odd again, you think and shrug. "Yeah...fine..." he responds half heartedly and you go on to talk about nonsense, not catching the pain or the tear that glimmers in his eyes as you bounce around ahead of him. You can't hear the thoughts in his head, nor would you want to if you could.

He smiles and pushes down the resentment, following you to class.

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@veronicasawyerschainsaw @shinestarhwaa

[nathaliegsblog]

ON DA MAKING…

(still editing)

I met you on a dating site called "Tinder". The only old fashion guy that I talked there, very traditional. No daddy jokes nor flirtation words. Very well mannered guy. Out of all 10,000 guys I matched. You are the only guy I was really curious about. The picture I was really into you was you are in a ski outfit. I sensed that you are adventurous and fun because I'm not. GREEN FLAG! ✅ We exchanged numbers. We talked the whole night about music that we listen to. We both love old songs. However, there's a people noisy in the background. You told me that you were living with bunch of dudes that's why it is very loud. I know after that night we stopped talking. Your name on my message was flooded by other messages on my phone. I thought you sensed I was really weird. The Friday of middle of the month of October, when my friends invited me to go on a Halloween maze. I told Pat "Nope I'm not going there without a Halloween boo". You know how I'm a scary cat, I'm scared of everything. I remember that sunny day in Oceanside beach, me and Pat was sitting on a rock. I contacted five guys, including you. The navy dude, the friend of my friend, the friend of that friend, another navy dude and YOU. I sent the message "do you have plans tonight?". AND YOU are the only one who said "YES". Our first meeting was not that magical like in the fairytale books. It was a crazy night. I cannot forgot the night we saw each other, me and Pat was lost in the parking lot. I called you on the phone to lead us to the right entrance LOL. On a crowded place, I saw you standing beside the entrance sign. I'm 5'4 ft tall on a crowd, you can't barely see me but I saw you, there's no slow motion shit thingy but all I can hear is your voice, on my phone, ON A FUCKING THOUSAND OF PEOPLE AROUND ME. Shit feels like in the movie! While walking towards you, dude I was shaking not because I was shy but I'm scared for the haunted maze. It was an awkward situation while were on the line for the first maze. I know you were out-of-the-place with us. You re the only white guy on a group of filos but you were there standing patiently waiting. You are so manly to be on the front of the filo mafias. The first maze was the ice breaker. The second maze, you were on front of me. A 6'2 ft tall on the front of a 5'4 ft tall (IMAGINE THAT!) I feel secured and safe defending those monsters in the maze LOL GREEN FLAG ✅ After you defending me with those creepy creature, I invited you to go on a bar with us, my friends. And you said YES! We danced the whole night. Your hands on my hips and kissed on the dance floor HA HA HA HA HA HA Went to Tacos El Gordo YUMMMMM Fav! After the party, i invited you to join with us for a lil escape out-of-the-town, a lil border of CA AZ. You said you're gonna check if you can make it.

AND YOU KISSED ME GOOD NIGHT.

that was the first time happened to my entire pathetic existence that someone would respect me on a first date. A gentleman who doesn’t want a naked me LOL

The next day of 01:11PM you said: "Hey good news I can go"

CHAPTER TWO: UNTITLED

Two hours driving out of the city of San Diego, the longest ride I've ever had with a man on a car. It seems like a lil road-trip. Semi escape from busy America's finest city. We always said that travel to escape life but so life doesn't escape you. But it feels like you are now my lil escape. On our second date, you join us with my friends for an adventure trip at Glamis Sand Dunes. We watched the sun goes down, had our first picture together. You’re not a fan of pictures but HA HA HA HA I got you. We just met but it feels safe when I'm with you, I don’t know it feels like we’ve known for so long. We had Mcdickies while on the road. I had my favorite, of course chicken nuggets with medium fries, sprite, ranch and honey mustard YUMMM. You said you're already had Taco Bell, you good to go. You're not a fan of taking pictures but we had the most beautiful pictures. We looked like a couple but this is just our second date. We hold are hands through out our drive and trip. We pulled up into the parking lot of that noodle house in the town of Brawley. We had our first real kiss. We kissed like it's the end of the world. Driving back to deygo was so fast, we didn't noticed it's already on my apartment. It was the best date so far.

and you kissed me GOOD NIGHT!

[the-firebird69]

He's a huge number of things happening here. My son doesn't have a massive appetite for all this old stuff he wasn't there he keep on bothering him about it and keep saying it's an old car Jaguar is not my thing and it's not really that's Hera this is actually Citron and he says it's probably backwards and it's true there's like a sleeper car but it's not really directly his clan... It is not one of their houses and they're looking at stuff that's very old that they kept and some of them are in the pictures yes at least it looked that way and it's not true they're doping with people's blood to look different and to hide and it works. This is one of their bullfighting outfits and it's from the exact era and they were doing it in the USA as an act and Llewellyn it's a town out west and along came them the developing and Garth and his forces were there and they're talking about it because they're saying we're like them and when sophisticated and we have our own gear and we have our own people and equipment and we're wiped out and stuff was taken and had a system too the highest with you and the thing is the same thing or similar and that they're mixed race and the smarter than others and they're trying to prove it all the time it's not really working for him. And they're showing their records are kind of organized in the sun says it's not really that greatly organized no it really isn't. And it's kind of interesting cuz that might be an interesting film but okay and it is about Antarctica and it's after world War I and in between and it's around with a flight of the albatross was and so they looked at it and they couldn't see anything like that and they tried to figure out when and it was when Uncle Paul went there and they're trying to find him and they couldn't find him it's one of their own houses it's like a needle in a haystack looking for it that way but it's probably at one of the houses those schools in Westchester and stuff you have a lot of stuff and they had ideas where he was they knew about it but they're just talking about addict stuff here and these guys are real curious and they find old stuff like this that they're surprised because they have a hard time keeping it because they're forced to move around and they can't store stuff right cuz I don't really know how to store it correctly certain amount of moisture no acid that sounds special machines and noise them as you can see and my son says maybe a vacuum and it might work if you can create a vacuum and put some inert gases in that don't mess with the film and that's how people actually do it you have to know which gases. It's one of the sun's plans and these guys tore through women Tommy F did and they didn't care and their whole world is ending because that there are sophisticated. You better not be spitting on it and stuff and then you said I guess it's past that isn't it you didn't laugh but he decided to look through it he said these are all notes on who's around and they're looking for people and not us they can tell who we are like right away. And we don't like them for what they're doing

It's a huge number of reasons to listen to our son and daughter because her hours we don't tell you how we know and they just do a lot of work that you don't almost all of it's completely different no most of it is

Can't really say is what it is but you're looking through records of people who had brains and you don't really have that Great Brain and you don't really understand what you're missing but it looks interesting and the letters and stuff are part of an intricate system back then and he's trying to systems I'm gone and it left with him and it was about control they have to do his match was actually running it we mentioned him in the writings they want us to do this and we did in this happen and I told them it's so good and we went on and stuff like that. Use the animal skins because the last song and it says right the ink is embedded it's like a tattoo and it is animal it's mostly sheep and they said that because his clan was ingraining stuff into them and Dave knows what it was and says you're doing because of it it's one reason why I finally. She got a son in the past to mention that it's Arnie as it said Northampton as a threat and then they heard Northampton sits right on all and I'm in trouble too cuz so many of these idiots so they just study and they found out the same thing and they sent it out we're sending it and the correct the family famous and they're from the Ringling vitamin Bailey circus and is on they were entombed and they're still into him somewhere and they're trying to figure out where it's like where do they using them they usually entombed them if you said and they're really near that town so he said they're probably in a tomb where they have tombs in the town like underground weather a lot of times to the house. They're not related and they think they struggle and they think they hit gold but really they're all dying cuz they treat people like that. And there are people that know where the people are and they know what they do and they just be these ponds doing the work and we have to watch out for it too and he says it's like osterman weekend and lovely enough the house looks like it and we think it is that house Austin is a big company and it's the company that these people owned an osterman made electronics and her son knows about it

Thor Freya

[minidirk]

https://www.tumblr.com/oscarsbinkie/723390825771515904/oscar-make-agerepetre-ask-game (reblogs are turned off)

🍼 What're your favorite little nicknames?

Dirky, little guy, um um froggy is one I call myself in my head.

🧦 Do you have any clothes/outfits that help you regress/are your favorite to wear while regressed?

I like wearing bigger clothing when I’m small because it makes me feel protected :)

🍦 What're your favorite shows/movies to watch while you're little?

Keroppi, My Little Pony, Race to the Moon, Sesame Street, Word Girl.

🐛 Do you have a cg? Tell us about them! (If you'd like)

YES!!!! I asked him today n he said yes and it made me so so excited!! Jakey is my favorite person/kitty and he is so so sweet!! He is very silly also and he is sooo talented!! They can draw and write and are multilingual computer-wise! He likes to wear big shirts and um usually I like to think that I am the “man” of the relationship or whatever but they make me feel so soft and safe and vulnerable in a good way. I know much about them, and I am so so glad I do!! I have many pictures of him that I like to stare at :) I kind of want to print a few out to put in my schoolbooks but that seems weird hm. He also sleeps with plushies n such and has his own bunny (I have a bunny that I hold and pretend is him) and always sleeps on the right side, which is good for me because I can go on the left side and pretend we are together.

☁️ Where's your favorite place to go while regressed? (ex: aquarium, museum, park!)

I don’t like to go out too much because people can see me and touch me and hurt me when I’m out and I am very scared of that when I’m small, but but um I really like malls because they are fun to walk around and look around even if I don’t buy anything!

🦄 Do you have a favorite stuffie? Show us/tell us all about them!

His name is Kurtis!! He is my best best friend. He is a WeWearCute Build-A-Bear and his name is Kurtis because of the Kurtis Conner series on them. He, like most of my favorite things, was purchased for the humor of it all, but then the night that I got him something really bad and then really good happened and he became my best friend from then on. He used to smell like cotton candy and he has had to go into surgery once at Build-A-Bear because he got hurt very bad :( they fixed him up for free though and I am so so glad!!!! His hair doesn’t brush well and many of my friends have met him because I can’t sleep without him some nights.

🦋 What's your favorite toy to play with while you’re little? / Do you have any gear?

I love love to play with my ponies and my pokemon for stories!! A lot of the time too I’ll play with my dolls (Monster High, Ever After High, and Equestria Girls) by coming up with themed outfits for them. I have the most Monster High dolls of the three, I even have an original (not Creeproduction!!) Draculaura that I got when I was younger. I like to brush their hair and put them in dresses and have them hug and be friends with eachother and sometimes I have them fight other toylines (I have a few McDonald’s Furbies who they have waged war against). Usually though those fights also end with them being friends. I like to have my ponies come in and de escalate conflicts and explain how they can take better care of eachother and create new systems for them to coexist. I’m not sure what is meant by “gear”, but I don’t have any pacifiers or anything :(

📙 Favorite childhood book/book to read while little?

Curious George or Daring Do if I’m up for a big adventure! I have most of the Daring Do books :)

🧸 What're your favorite regressor activities (ex: coloring, dressing up, running around!)

Coloring!!!! I love love coloring. Today I made hand turkeys and wrote things I’m grateful for on them and that made me happy. I don’t like some brands of construction paper at all, though, because they feel gross on my hands :( I really really like sorting things, also, so sometimes I’ll go through my crayons or my Pokémon cards and put those in different orders.

I skipped some but!! I answered the questions from the first “ask game” because umm I wanted to talk about myself.

🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)

Repetitive speech n um stunted too, I kind of type how my thoughts go which means it looks kind of silly when I’m big. I also forget a lot of things I usually know how to do, but luckily I can still drive! Things like cooking and math are hard though :(

🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?

I don’t try because I don’t like to but um recently it’s been happening a lot.

🍬 Do you read agere fanfiction and if so, about who?

No!

🧸 Are you an older sibling who regresses/caregives or a younger sibling who regresses/caregives?

I have no siblings, it’s just Dirk over here!

💚 Were you considered an "old soul" growing up or were you more "childish"?

“Old soul” was used to describe me lots because I learned a lot all the time.

💜 What are you obsessed with right now in your headspace? (sanrio, sharks, bluey, etc)

Stampy and Squid :)!! Rewatching Race to the Moon and the MAC podcasts sonce I’ve been small again a lot.

🧚‍♀️ What is age regression/caregiving to you?

When I get smaller it means that I I can’t do big kid things but I do get to do things I like because I know it is my brains way of telling me to be nicer to myself. Caregiving means um talking to me and listening to me talk about things I like when I am small and also maybe playing games n coloring with me!!

🧃Which animal best represents your headspace?

Oo that is hard!! But I think maybe a frog because I hop away from my problems and I like to play in the mud :)

🐇 Has it been or was it hard for you to find a little/caregiver?

Nope n I am very lucky for that!!!! I’ve only ever had two but Jakey is the best n he was super nice to me when I asked him.

🎮 Do you struggle to play pretend or are you super imaginative?

I do not struggle at all!! I like to play with my stuffies and my ponies and my pokemon especially.

🌈 What mythical creature would you rather be? (Hybrid, Fairy, Dragon, etc)

A jackalope!! I wouldn’t want to BE a pegasus because I want to ride on their wings into the sky. If I were a jackalope, though, I could use my horns for protection, I could still hear very well (I have sensory processing issues), and I would be small and fast enough that I could get away from bad people.

👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?

Having a bad day usually triggers it, and then after that it s usually MLP, Keroppi, Stampy, or coloring.

💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?

Watching cartoons together on a couch and and telling them all the cool things I know about them :)! Like watching Word Girl and leading into Minecraft Story Mode (because Patton Oswald) and talking about my favorite guy Lucas and how ch5 is the best one because ummm Stampy is in it. Or or how The Butcher, Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy, and Dr. Two Brains are all in love and holding hands and Chuck auspitized the other two at first :)

[notsuchasecret]

Trick or treat for Watari/Yachi

Come trick or treating in my inbox! Leave a “Trick or Treat” and a character or ship in an ask, and I’ll treat you to some autumn-themed fluff or trick you with some twisted spooky aus!

Treat

Hitoka was doing pretty well, in recent years, at the whole ‘getting out of her shell’ thing. When Yahaba and Terushima had mentioned a group costume with quick reassurances that she didn’t have to, that no one would think she was weird if she didn’t, that it was okay, she just smiled and asked when the costume party was.

‘Sexy cowboy’ was not a difficult costume to find. ‘Sexy cowgirl’ was even easier. Hitoka was rather proud of herself for the end result, a petticoat and hat and just enough plaid to be cute and fun with just a light tinge of slutty. The perfect balance for a fun night out with her friends.

When Kyoutani’s van pulled up in front of Hitoka’s dorm, she was not surprised at the spectrum of costumes inside. She laughed at their wolf whistles and chided Futakuchi’s inflatable bull and whatever that mess of shiny red vinyl Terushima was wearing was. Yahaba came close to the spirit of the costume, and she didn’t even want to ask what Kyoutani’s motivation was— she could admit he looked pretty good in it, and that duster looked authentic to say the least.

But to say she was a little disappointed wouldn’t be much of a stretch. That is, until they pulled up to the curb in front of Watari’s apartment building.

“Where the fuck is he?” growled Yahaba, already holding his phone to his ear. “Shinji! Get your ass down here now! We have bars to crawl and if I don’t get alcohol and a stanger’s tongue in my mouth in the next five mi— He hung up on me!” Yahaba turned to look for pity from any of the rest of them, but no one offered him any.

“He said he’s just fixing the lacing, he’ll be down in like two seconds,” Shirabu said, then put his phone away. “Your thottery can wait another minute, Yahaba, fucking relax.”

Yahaba muttered something under his breath, sounding suspiciously like ‘this had better be worth it,’ but Hitoka couldn’t ask what he meant. Because the door to Watari’s apartment building was opening and Watari was strutting out with a grin and a swing to his step and Hitoka’s whole world was crashing to a halt.

There was so much skin on display. Watari’s entire chest was bared, along with his lower abdomen and the entirety of his arms and his well-muscled legs. There was, indeed, fringe hanging from the legs of the shorts - denim so short and so tight that it didn’t really classify as shorts, more along the lines of briefs—

Hitoka snapped her eyes back up, not allowing them to stutter across the cinch at his waist and the way it pulled tight, nor at the breadth of his shoulders only emphasized by the skimpy vest-style straps, nor the width of his neck as she met his eyes at last. But they weren’t looking at her. He was grinning at Yahaba who was hollering in the passenger seat, something about Watari stealing his thunder and how dare he be more slutty than Yahaba—

“Shigeru, shut up,” Watari laughed. He climbed into the van, stopping short when he nearly ran into Hitoka. She told herself firmly that she was imagining the faint blush on his cheeks as he settled in to the seat beside her and buckled in. “Hey,” he said. “You look good.”

“You look…” Hitoka worked up a smile. “It’s nice to see someone took the prompt seriously,” she managed.

“Well. Any chance to one-up Shigeru.” Watari’s voice was strange, like it was difficult for him to speak. Hitoka felt like she knew the feeling a little too well.

“All right, bis, guys, and sundry assembled others,” Yahaba crowed. “Let’s get this shit going!”

Kyoutani growled at Yahaba to put his seatbelt back on, and, with just a little more bickering, the night rolled onward. As Kyoutani drove them to the first club of the night, Hitoka hazarded a glace at Watari, only to catch him flushing and trying not to look at her. She chewed at the inside of her cheek, and made a decision.

Two drinks. Two drinks ordered by a sensible person, and not Shirabu. And then she would have just enough liquid courage to find out what that outfit looked like on her bedroom floor.

She nodded to herself, and smiled. The night was just beginning.

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[the-broken-truth]

The Strings That Bind Us ~ Servant of House Beneviento

Summary: Vulcan becomes The Servant of House Beneviento. How will he do?

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Male OC (Vulcan)

[A Few Hours From Sundown]

"And this will be your room." The small puppet said as she pushed open a door that revealed a room. One full-sized bed against the same wall that the door resided in but was placed in the center of the wall. The bed was downed in a blanket with dark grey and blue color schemes with two pillows at the head of the bed in grey pillowcases. Underneath the bed was a decent-sized grey rug that complimented the grey tile floor. On either side of the bed were dark grey hardwood nightstands - the left of which had a lamp and a small alarm clock. Across from the bed - on the other side of the room - was a study workstation with a chair, the dresser was tucked away in the corner, and the main closet was sitting on the adjacent wall of the dresser.

Vulcan walked into the room after Angie stepped away and looked around with a smile on his face, he left his cloak in the entrance hallway where the coatrack was located; revealing the black shirt and jeans he was wearing, along with his black boots and belt - the belt contained two sheathes that held his daggers. Lord Heisenberg wanted so badly to keep them because - in his own words - he was a house servant and house servants are not allowed to keep personal weapons, but Vulcan explained that he crafted those weapons and he was not just going to be one of those house servants that remained at home all the time - he intended to go out and do what he could for his House Mistress and he would need his daggers in case he ran into any...problems. Mother Miranda knew that Vulcan would cause no threat to Donna and demanded Heisenberg return the daggers to their master; which he reluctantly did. After which, Miranda dismissed the meeting and the other lords returned to their lands.

"I'm guessing the room is to your liking?" Angie asked as she levitated to reach Vulcan's eye level. The tall man looked at the possessed doll with a smile.

"It's perfect for me. Thanks for asking, Angie." Vulcan said as he placed his travel back - something else Heisenberg took from him and tried to keep because of the leather and design - against one of the nightstands.

"You're a strange one, ya know? Any sane person who saw a living doll would have run away, screaming for the hills." Angie said with a tilt of her massive head. Vulcan chuckled at those words.

"I may not be a 'sane person' then. Besides, I've spent years looking for you two; there was no way I was going to run away after finding you again." Vulcan said before his gaze turned to the outfit on the bed. "Is this going to be my work outfit?" Vulcan said as he walked over to it.

"Yes. Donna never really expected to have a house servant but just in case she did - she had two outfits said, one for each gender." Angie explained.

"I'm grateful," Vulcan said as he reached out to the suit's upper, his fingers lightly grazing against the House's Crest - The Sun and the Moon. "Angie, do you know what time Donna usually takes her dinner?" Vulcan said, looking back to the doll.

"In an hour or two, I wouldn't try to make too much; it all kinda tastes the same to her." Angie explained.

"What do you mean?" Vulcan asked.

"All the food is just...bland; you know, kinda tasteless but very filling for her." Angie said.

"Oh - don't worry about that. I didn't survive as long as I did on bland food and I refuse to let my mistress eat another bland meal." Vulcan said with a smirk.

"What are you planning to do, Vulcan?" Angie said with a tilt of her head.

"Oh, that would ruin the surprise but I know that she will like it. I need to get to work and you'll know when I'm done with dinner." Vulcan said as he turned back to look at his uniform.

Angie tilted her head again before she left the room, closing the door behind her. Vulcan looked at the black uniform with a smile before he placed the shirt back on the bed and began to undress.

[After Vulcan Got Dressed]

Vulcan looked in the tall mirror with pride in his new uniform - the Beneviento Family Chest proudly resting over his heart. He left his room and walked down the hall, down the stairs until he reached the ground floor; from the tour of the house given by Angie - Vulcan found the kitchen.

The Amber-Eyed Man looked around - there were a few things out of place but that was no challenge. He opened the cabinets and fridge and looked around - there were a few assortments of meats and some grains.

'I can make meat with a bread...Hm...but I need something else to add to it. Does she have any kind of veggie here?' Vulcan wondered as he continued to look around and got lucky when he found some potatoes in a sack. 'Perfect.' The red-haired man smirked as he placed all the items - except for the meat - on a clear table and got cleaning: he washed the few dishes that rested in the sink, swept the floor, wiped down the table and counters, placed any kind of box that wasn't supposed to be out in the open and placed them in a lone closet - that he had the cleanout of cobwebs and dust. Once the kitchen was clean - he jogged back to his room and opened his backpack; digging inside until he found the small wooden box he was looking for and walked back downstairs.

[Around Half An Hour Later]

Donna and Angie were talking in Donna's room - the veiled woman sat on her bed with her hands in her lap as Angie stood on the bed at her creator's right side.

"Mom, you don't have to be so nervous." Angie said as she tried to cheer her mother up.

"It's hard not to be, Angie. I hadn't seen him in years and suddenly he shows up here - he's been looking for you and me for...goodness knows how long and..." She paused for a moment as she wrapped her arms around herself - mimicking Vulcan's hug, still feeling his warmth in her bones. "The way he hugged me - not even Mother Miranda held me like that when she adopted me. It was so...comforting." Donna said in a low voice.

"I'm curious - just what is he to you, Mom?" Angie asked with a head tilt.

"Vulcan...He was the only real person who cared for me, even with the scar. He would stand by my side when others would badmouth or turn away from me; he would hold my hand to keep me grounded when I thought I was going to slip in a sobbing fit. When I introduced him to you - he was just as interested in you as I was. We were like...our own little family." Angie could hear the smile on her mother's lips.

"You loved him, didn't you?" Angie asked.

"Yes, I did." Donna said.

"Do you still love him?" Angie asked.

"I...I believe that I do but it's been so long - I never knew if he felt the same for me and I don't know if he thinks of me as a possible partner for him. I know he cared to me but..." Donna stopped in midsentence when a heavenly scent hit her nose. "Do you smell that?" Donna asked as she rose to her feet and began following the smell.

Donna and Angie followed the smell down the stairs but the longer they descended - they noticed just how clean the house began to look: pictures were dusted and wiped down, the floors appeared to be swept, mopped, and polished, there was even a pleasant smell of pine. When they made it to the ground flood - they entered the dining room and saw the table was...decorated? There was a long black tablecloth on the rectangular table with a candle holder in the center of the table - 3 candles were lit with their flames dancing to their slow beats. On the ends of the table - there were plate mats; when...when did have time to do all this? Where did he get all these items from? Donna and Angie continued to ponder until the kitchen door opened - letting the heavenly smell flood the room - as Vulcan walked out with a serving platter held by his right hand and bottle of wine in his left hand, tucked under his arm.

"Oh, Lady Beneviento and Lady Angie, I was just about to get you both for dinner." Vulcan said as he placed the serving tray, covered by a silver lip, in the center of the table before then retreated to the kitchen and returned with 2 glasses and walked over to Donna. "Please, allow me, Lady Beneviento." Vulcan said as he grabbed Donna's chair and pulled it out, waiting for Donna to sit with a smile on his face. When Donna sat in the chair, he pushed it in for her before walking over to her right and pulled out another chair for Angie; the puppet giggled before taking a seat and was pushed in behind her mother.

"Did...Did you do all of this yourself, Vulcan?" Donna asked in a low voice.

"Of course, Lady Beneviento, as the servant of House Beneviento, I must ensure my ladies and house are taken care of." Vulcan said with a smile of pride - he was happy being the servant of House Beneviento?

"We smelled something incredible on our way down here; just what were you doing in the kitchen?" Angie asked.

"I was prepared dinner for Lady Beneviento. During my travels, I came into some very interesting spices and I did jobs to make sure I had the funds to purchase spices and recipes that I thought Lady Beneviento would love. I would like to think I did this once justice but I would love my lady to tell me if I did." Vulcan said as he moved over to the tray and lifted the tray cover off the food, revealing the tinder-looking steak with toppings of garlic and herbs on top of it with some kind of sauce, a side of mashed potatoes with butter - a touch of pepper with gravy on top, and two bread buns. The smell was enough to get Donna's mouth watering and Angie's - if she had organs to eat.

Vulcan lifted one of the plates and walked over to Donna before setting it down on the plate mat before her; her utensils already on the mat, ready for use. Placing the bottle on the table, he got one of the two glasses he retrieved from the kitchen and placed it near Donna on the mat before opening the bottle of grape wine and poured a good amount for his lady to enjoy with her food. He got his plate and went to his seat before he pours himself a bottle of wine and looked at Donna with a smile.

"Please, tell me what you think, Lady Beneviento." Vulcan's eyes shined with the hopefulness that she would love it. Donna lifted her knife and fork, stabbed the steak with the fork before severing the part she stabbed with her knife. She lifted the meat to her lips, making sure to move her veil as to not touch the meat with the cloth; she took her first bite before she let out a moan of pleasure (NOT THAT KIND, YA NASTIES!).

"This...This is delicious, Vulcan." Donna said as she moved to eat more.

"I'm glad you like it, Lady Beneviento. I have lots of recipes I'm sure you'll love." Vulcan said with a wide toothy smile.

"Enough. When we are here - in House Beneviento - or when I permit you, you are to call me Donna. None of that 'Lady Beneviento' business." Donna said - if her veil was off, Vulcan would have been able to see the light blush on her face.

"As you wish...Donna." Vulcan smiled again before he began to eat his food.

[End]

[eunoiaflow3r]

when worlds collide - h.p. x gn!avenger!reader

a/n: bahahahahaha no one reads harry x reader lmaoo you don’t have to tell me - i know. but still, i thought this was a cute idea and i went with it. hope you enjoy :)

not edited.

also: timelines don’t match up bc i don’t want to do the math so harry is like 20 - 21 and your like 19 - 20 in 2020. Civil War and everything on didn’t happen. Fred didn’t die.

gn = gender neutral

warning(s): “language!” - captain america.

word count: 3.1k

request(ed): no.

summary: stephen sends y/n to a strange new place with...wizards?

��———————————-&—————————————

Never doubt Stephen Strange. That's something that pretty much everyone has accepted. Never second guess the wizard man. Usually you'd agree. Usually you'd just let the man babble about whatever he needed to and then go about your day.

Not now.

The fuckery.

Now you were here (wherever here was) after some flashes of orange and a "be careful." Did he even do the spell right? Is this really where you were supposed to be?

It was dark, and dirty and you just wanted to go home and not talk to anyone so you turned yourself invisible.

You were born with your powers - you think. You were adopted so you wouldn't know where your powers came from. All you know is that one day your parents couldn't find you, even though you were right there. Instead of thinking you were some kind of alien and throwing you out to labs, they helped you control it the best you could.

It was difficult at first, all things considered, but you got through. You discovered you had another power as well. Force fields. Those came in handy during the battles. (You helped where you could), and Tony Stark took you in afterwards as his own. He helped you create your suit, and your name, and discover more about your powers, he was basically a dad to you.

Your parents were a little hesitant letting you join the Avengers, but once they realized this is what you were meant to do, and you had people just like you protecting you, they couldn't keep you from that. They just couldn't.

So here you were, invisible, in some dark and creepy alley. There were doors either side of you, so you got out of the way considering they could open and smack you in the face at any given moment. You heard loud voices and laughing and cheering from both ends of the alley so you walked towards the one in front of you.

The voices were so loud and echoey that you really couldn't focus on anything else. Maybe that's why you didn't hear a boy behind you trip and fall into you from behind.

"I'm so sorry." he said helping you up.

You turned around to help him, he got awfully dirty, and searched for his glasses that fell off his face.

Once standing, he took out a stick, waved it over him, and all of a sudden the dirt and gravel was gone.

"How did you do that?" You were no stranger to magic, but this was something you've never seen before. And why would he do it in front of you? For all he knew, you were an unknowing human.

"What?" He asked eyebrows furrowed together, accent strong.

"With the stick."

He chuckled shoving the stick back in his cloak.

"The stick." He smiled and looked you up and down. "It's a wand. You must not be from around here."

"Yeah, what tipped you off?" You noticed the lightning bolt scar on his head. You wondered how he got it.

"The accent, the clothes, the inability to recognize a simple wand, the ability to be here, not recognizing me, and wait - where is your cloak?"

"Cloak?"

"You were just invisible a moment earlier but I don't see your cloak anywhere."

"I don't have one. I can make myself invisible without a piece of fabric or your fancy stick." You say sarcastically. Were you flirting?

"Handy." He grins. "The name's Harry Potter."

He holds his hand out for you to shake. "Y/N L/N."

He asks you if you want to talk somewhere besides a dark dirty alley. You agreed. It took some convincing though to let him use his stick to clean the clothes you had on, but to change your outfit to something less, standout-ish.

When you felt the witch hat on your head you immediately snatched it off your head and glared at him.

He just laughed.

Once out of the alley, you breathed in the now clean air, and was mesmerized. People were bustling in and out of small shops, animals were flying and chirping around their owners, children were running around with their friends and siblings, and people were waving sticks, or wands, just like Harry used.

"C'mon, this way." He smiled at your awestruck face. It reminded him of when he first arrived with Hagrid all those years ago.

He brought you inside a coffee shop, and sat you at a booth near the window knowing you'd probably want to still look outside at the new scenes.

After ordering, and a few moments of silence as you looked around, you decided to ask some questions.

"Where am I?"

"We're in Diagon Alley. It's like an outside mall."

"I mean like, planet? I guess?"

"Earth."

"Earth?"

"Well, more specifically London. Diagon Alley."

"London?! I'm in London?!"

"You've never been? To Earth? Or London?"

You rolled your eyes silently cursing Strange. "I'm from Earth. The United States, actually. I just wish he'd put me on a fucking plane or something instead of making it seem like I was going to Mars."

"He?" Harry was very curious.

You looked into his green eyes, your mind wandering. The guy in front of you was very attractive. His dark hair complimented his eyes, and his glasses made him even more attractive.

"You guys are wizards right?"

"Really? What gave you that impression?" He asks sarcastically. "The sticks, the pointy hats, or the big bowl with green liquid sitting outside?”

You rolled your eyes. "Very funny. It's not my fault you live into the stereotype of brewing potions in your cauldrons -"

"Oh well I can only assume you're one of those Avengers from the States, yeah?" He grins. "You guys are all over the news."

"Yes, sure -"

"And don't one of you wear capes and another shoot lasers or lightning or whatnot? Sounds very stereotypical to me."

You laugh as the waitress brings over your drinks and muffins. You thank her. "No, well yes, that's Strange and Thor, but that's besides the point -"

"Well of course it's strange." He grins and winks and you over his mug. He was purposely annoying you and found great joy in it.

"Anyway," you sigh getting back to the point. "Do you guys have a Wizard here, like a powerful, trusting, all-knowing kind of guy?"

His eyes dropped slowly and his smile dimmed for a moment before slowly widening once again.

"Had. His name was Dumbledore."

"Our guy is Stephen Strange. Or Dr. Strange. He sent me here, and I'm not sure why."

"Hmmm." He hums setting down his mug. "Are the states in danger? Were you sent here on a secret quest that would put you through tough trials that would risk your life but would ultimately save everyone you've ever loved so you just have to do it?"

You were in a silent shock. "Uhm. No, not that I'm aware of, no."

"Well then perhaps your Wizard Strange is playing matchmaker."

"Matchmaker?"

"Well you were sent here weren't you?" You nod. "Arrived outside the exact place where I was and I just happened to bump into you? Sounds like a set-up to me."

"Or a coincidence."

"I'd like to think it was fate that I bump into the most attractive person I've ever seen and they don't know who I am and won't judge me 'cause of my past." He took a bite of his muffin.

"Should I be worried?"

"I guess you'll have to figure that out yourself." He winks.

You decide to eat your muffin as well. It was a comfortable silence until you looked out of the window and noticed a guy crouching down behind a cauldron...with a camera.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"Why is there a man outside taking pictures of you?"

His eyes widened. "Oh shit." He whispered. "Here." He took out a baseball cap and put it over your head, hiding your face from the camera.

He gets out of his seat quickly pulling you along with him to the back of the shop but before you could say anything he had his wand pulled out.

Next thing you saw was a couch and living room.

"Wow." You panted. "What a way to bring a girl home."

"I apologise Y/N, I block them out so much I forget they're even there and now they've seen you, and have a story and -"

"Wait, wait, wait, are you wanted for murder or something?"

Harry walks over to his bookshelf and pulls out a rather large book. After opening up on the table, he waved his wand over it and beckons you over to read it.

'Boy who lived.'

'Golden boy defeats Voldemort'

'winner of Triwizard tournament'

And there was so much more… 'Harry Potter' in bold just strewn across the pages. His whole life story.

Your eyes widen at everything. "So both and neither. War hero. How come I've never heard of you? Or any of this?"

He smiles at the pages fondly, running his fingers across the letters and reminiscing on his times at Hogwarts.

"Unlike you Avengers, we like to keep our business private and quiet. We don't like prying eyes."

You scoff. "Not our fault we have alien invasions every year."

Harry agreed and for the rest of the night you sat on his couch talking and sometimes arguing, over every little thing. It felt like you two had known each other forever.

You're not sure when, but you fell asleep there and woke with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist. You're not sure how the two of you ended up this way, and you realized you were practically strangers, but you didn't want to move. You just wanted to tangle your fingers through his dark hair.

But you didn't. Instead you stared at his closed eyes, and focused on his long, dark, eyelashes that fluttered a little from time to time. You thought about how you could get used to this. Waking up with his arm wrapped around you.

You told him last night that if he was actually a serial killer, and wanted to kill you that you had a whole team of people who would rip him limb from limb. He had no doubts and looked actually scared of your threat.

You thought about what it'd be like to live here among people like you.

Stomach grumbling, you decided to get up and see if he had anything you could make for him. It's the least you could do. His face turned when you left his arms, but you quickly pulled the blanket over him so he would be able to sleep a little longer.

You found his bathroom, and washed your face. In your backpack was a toothbrush and some toothpaste so you brushed your teeth, fixed your hair, and got dressed.

By the time you got out of the bathroom, you noticed Harry was still sleeping so you went into the kitchen and tried to find anything remotely close to breakfast foods. By the look of his inventory, you could tell he was very good at cooking but hadn’t been to the store in a while. He did have some eggs and toast though so you decided to make that.

In the middle of it, you got a phone call from Strange.

“Strange?”

“Harry Potter.” he says.

“What?” you were so confused as to how Stephen knew ANYTHING.

“You’re in his place, we've been tracking you.”

“So I guess we should probably have a talk about privacy? I don’t know, it just seems like something we should discuss you know? Cause usually people can respect that - especially people who just DUMP you here in the first place -“

“Calm down that’s what the mission was. While you were sleeping, we searched the place with a camera we put on you and he’s not who we thought he was. You completed the mission L/N. Great job.”

“Is he a danger?”

“Not necessarily. Just making sure your fine is all.”

“What -?”

He hung up.

Why wouldn’t Strange tell you his intentions? Why would he let you stay here if he thought Harry might have been a bad guy? Why would he risk that?

Right as you hung up Harry Potter walked into the kitchen with his lenses in between his shirt - he was cleaning his glasses.

His dark hair hung over his eyes but his eyebrows were raised.

“You made breakfast?”

“It was the least I could do. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but thank you for letting me stay.”

He smiled and put his glasses back on. In doing so his gray shirt lifted and you could see his abs. You turned away a blushed.

“It was no big deal. Thank you for making breakfast, love. You didn’t have to.”

You didn’t say anything and instead placed both of your finished plates on the dining room table. He followed you and sat down immediately digging in.

“These are the best eggs i’ve ever eaten Y/N thank you.”

You smiled in response but then frowned remembering your conversation with Strange. You should probably tell Harry.

“So,” you cleared your throat. “You were wrong.”

He gave you a look that meant “about?”

“Dr. Strange - the wizard I work with - he likes to check out potential threats and make sure that ya’know - the earth stays safe and everything. Je can kind of see the future and its propabilities. He did the same thing with Thor and his brother Loki.”

“Okay, go on.”

You cringed. “And so he called me and told me that he sent me here so he could see you? I don’t know I guess he saw you as a threat and wanted to make sure you weren’t.”

You looked at Harry but his face was clear of any and every emotion. He just continued to eat his eggs. It was silent.

You ate a bit at your eggs too until he spoke up which made you look up.

“I can’t say I’m very surprised honestly. With everything you guys manage to fuck up there I’d wanna know if someone else was about to create shit problems too.”

You sighed with relief. He wasn’t mad.

“I’m sorry really Harry, I didn’t even know.”

“No yeah it’s fine. I get it. I still think he sent you specifically for a reason though. There’s just no way we aren’t soul mates or something.”

“Oh shut up Potter.”

He smiled. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Gee your head must hurt.”

He squints at you jokingly. “You should let me take you out. I can show you around today. Y’know, so you can see what wizards are like.”

“Is this a date?”

His face flushes red and he looks down at his plate. “Yeah, yeah it’s a date.”

And a date it was.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Harry! Again?!” You practically screamed. Harry called it aparation but you call it hell. You let it go the first time but damn. He barely even warned you, just took your hand, held it tight, pulled you close, and waved his wand.

It was teleportation. Something you’ve never ever done before.

“Fucking hell Potter I’m going to murder you.”

“And Strange was worried about your safety? This is like your 4th time threatening to end my life and besides, it wasn’t even that bad.”

You rolled your eyes.

Throughout the day Harry showed you all sorts of things you’d never ever seen before. This consisted of every flavor jelly beans (and by every flavor they really meant every flavor), a chocolate frog, and never ending bubble gum. And that was just on the candy side.

He took you inside this joke shop ran by two of his friends from his old school he called hogwarts. They were twins that went by the names of Fred and George. The only twins you had ever met was Wanda and Pietro but telling the story of Pietro’s death seemed to sour Harry’s mood but excite the twins. The fact that he sacrificed himself for a little boy made him a hero in their eyes. They begged you to tell them more stories.

By the end of the day you went back to Harry’s place and you were exhausted. You can’t believe all that you’ve seen and eaten. How was this stuff even possible? How was it all hidden? You were amazed.

Harry was glad to see you had a good day and glad that he had met you. When you got back, he told you that you could stay another night...and perhaps in the bed instead of the couch. He hadn’t meant it in a dirty way but that didn’t stop you from laughing until tears came out of your eyes. He was so awkward at times. Once he had to ask if it was okay to take your hand while you were in the street and it was so cute how he couldn’t really find the words even for something as simple as hand holding.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

You both were laying in his bed facing the other.

“I had a lot of fun today. I feel like i’ve known you forever.”

He grinned from ear to ear and was glad that you couldn’t see him. He would have been beyond embarrassed if you’d seen how unmistakably happy that made him.

“I had fun with you Y/N. You’re great company.”

You were silent for a moment.

And another.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You were scared of his response and your heart was practically beating out of your chest. What if he was just being friendly? What if he just wanted to be friends? You would have made a huge fool of yourself. You were going to turn away embarrassed until his hand came up to your face and slipped onto your cheek. He was so warm. His lips pressed against yours for a moment and then he pulled away.

After a moment he reconnected and moved his lips against yours slowly. Your hand went to the back of his neck and toyed with his hair. He groaned into your mouth. You smiled and scooted even closer to him. All you could hear was the sound of your breathing and kissing. You didn’t want to pull away but you had to.

“Harry.” you said practically breathless.

“Yeah.” he was breathless too.

“I want to show you my world. You should come see New York.”

“Yeah? You wanna show me those alien invasions and robot attacks?”

You laughed and snuggled into Harry. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your neck.

“Mhmm.”

“I’d love to see it.”

Tags:

@romance-geek @gooseyhouse

[catxsnow]

PUPPY LOVE D.W.

Summary: Dogs always know best, you learned that pretty quickly. Little bit Older!Damian x reader

Warning: Nothing, 

A/N: I love Damian but also I feel like I can’t write him to save my life so I’m not really sure what tf this is but oh well. 

Also I expected maybe two or three likes on my tim imagine and the fact I got 20x as many notes as I expected makes my heart 🥺🥺🥺 thank you guys💕

picture not mine

Word count: 3.1k

You met Damian Wayne at the dog park in Gotham.

As first encounters go, that one had to have been at the bottom of your list of being enjoyable. His dog, which you had later discovers his name was Titus, was huge. He was a Great Dane and nothing less of a giant. You were surprised that Damian, as short as he was, was able to hold onto the leash when Titus tugged on it.

It wasn't the fact that Titus was huge, it was that your dog was little. If there was one thing that everyone knew about little dogs, it was that they had to find the biggest dog in the area and pick a fight. That was exactly what your little Terrier did.

You had let him off his leash so that you could play fetch with him but he quickly lost interest in the ball and more interest in the black Dane. Your dog barked and nipped at the legs of his dog until you ran over to snatch him up. What made the matter worse, was that it had to be the son of Bruce Wayne.

Damian pulled his own dog away from yours in hopes to protect him. The two of them were acting very calm about the situation while you were freaking out and struggling to hold you pup. He continued to bark until you finally held him mouth shut and chastised him to be quiet, thankfully he listened.

"I am so sorry," You finally looked over at Damian. He patted the top of his dog's head, who had sat right at his side. The Great Dane looked much more well behaved than your own dog. "Is your dog alright? Terry doesn't usually do this I have no idea where it came from, really."

Damian did a look over of his dog and ordered him to jump and twist. The movement proved that he was perfectly fine. You sighed with relief. "You named your terrier, Terry?" It was the first time that he had spoke to you since the encounter. A slight blush rose to your cheeks as you realized that he was mocking you.

"Yes," you mustered up all the confidence you could get. He didn't say anything but made a small noise that you barely picked up on. You took that as your cue to leave. "I'm sorry about him," you apologized once more and decided that it was time to leave the dog park before another mishap occurred.

You had heard about Damian before, everyone in Gotham had. The son of Bruce Wayne that he didn’t know about until after a decade. You knew that you were the same age as him and you also knew by his pictures in the paper that he was very attractive. Seeing him in person proved that the pictures didn’t do justice. 

Damian watched you walk away with a smile threatening to escape his lips. Terry the Terrier, what a joke. Yet, he thought the name was cute, but he also thought that Terry’s owner, was cuter. 

The moment that you and Terry were in your car, you slumped your head back on the head rest. That was an awful first meeting, especially with someone like him. You looked over at your dog, who was looking up at you with his tongue hanging out and you could swear he was smiling.

"He was cute, wasn't he?" You spoke to Terry. To your surprise, he barked back at you. "As glad as I am that you gave me an excuse to talk to him, you ruined it by attacking his dog so why should I care?"

><

The next time you saw Damian, you were walking through the park with Terry. It was a hot sunny day in Gotham, which didn't happen very often. Jean shorts showed off your legs and sunglasses rested on your nose. It was rare to see days like those and you planned to make the most of the outdoors.

You were in your own world when you heard your dog barking. Terry rarely barked for no reason so there had to have been something that set him off. Unfortunately, as you looked around, you saw a familiar Great Dane. Before Terry could try and pull the leash over to Damian and his dog, you snatched him up under your arm.

There was no way that you were willing to risk embarrassing yourself twice in front of the youngest Wayne. So, trying to avoid another encounter, you kept your head straight and walked along the path. Besides, you doubted that he would even recognize you after your brief meeting all those weeks ago.

That didn't mean that his dog didn't know yours or Terry's scent. Titus let out a loud bark that caught your attention and nearly made you jump. You had just passed by where Damian was sitting on the bench and turned back to see that he was already looking at you. Terry managed to wiggle out of your arms and onto the ground.

"Terry," You scolded.

"No, it's okay," Damian approached you. "Titus was the one to bark, it is not yours, or your dogs, fault." This time, the dogs only sniffed each other rather than attacking. A small break from the aggression that Terry was showing before.

"I don't know why he's so interested in - Titus," you hesitated to repeat the name of his dog, unsure if you heard him correctly. Damian picked up on your pause and nodded to confirm that you were correct. "We go for walks every day and he never gets worked up over seeing another dog."

To be honest, you were glad that Titus had noticed you. You didn’t want to have Terry cause another scene with them or go up to him out of the blue, yet you still wanted to talk to Damian. You were intrigued by him, the son of the richest man in the city and you kept finding him in the same places that you liked to be. 

"TT, Titus never barks," Damian agreed with your guys' dogs behavior. It was unusual. He looked down at your dog, and slowly dragged his gaze up your legs until he finally met your eyes. A faint blush covered his cheeks but in the bright sunlight, you didn’t notice. "I never learned your name last time."

"(Y/N)," You told him, sticking your hand out for him to shake. He paused for a moment before doing so and introducing himself. Of course, you already knew this but didn't say anything. "It's nice to meet you Damian. Sorry to disturb your afternoon, again."

"Nonsense," he told you. To be honest, he was quite glad that Titus grabbed you attention once more. He was curious to learn who you were after your first meeting with him. It was rare for someone to talk to him like a normal human, and as much as you were nervous around him, you tried to be normal.

"Um, I was just headed to get some iced coffee if you wanted to join me," You hesitantly asked. "Not that you have to or anything, but Terry looks like he has a crush on you and I wouldn't want to break his little heart." It was true, your dog had moved on from Titus and to the blood son himself.

However, you didn’t want to tell him that you too, wanted to spend a couple more minutes with him, at least. It wasn’t just your dog that was beginning to crush on him, you were pretty sure that you were too. It was strange, you barely even knew him and yet you couldn’t help but want to spend a few fleeing moments with him. 

Terry had started my sniffing around Damian's ankles, to walking between his legs and getting the leash all wrapped around him. Once he had finally found the perfect spot, he started up at Damian with the same kind of look that he gave you when you were holding a treat.

Damian got out of the maze of rope and knelt down to scratch Terry's belly, who had licked his hand the moment it came near. You swore you saw him smile at the interaction.

While Terry was getting attention from Damian, Titus decided that he wanted you to scratch by his ears. He nudged your hand with his nose and you quickly took the hint.

"It is a beautiful day out to go get iced coffee," Damian agreed. "And you're right, I wouldn't want to break Terry's heart either.

><

You had gotten Damian's number that day. He told you that if you ever wanted to see Titus or have a puppy play date then you should give him a call. Of course, you were surprised to see the son of Bruce Wayne give away his cell phone number so easily to someone that he barely knew.

After getting your drinks, the two of you sat out in the sun and chatter about your dogs, school, and the tiniest bit about family. All you knew was that he had a lot of brothers that often got on his nerves and of course who his father was.

By the time that Terry was wining at you to go home, you both decided that it was time to depart. Damian patted Terry once more and bid goodbye. Titus licked your hand before leaving as well. You walked in opposite direction but you couldn't help but feel a little excited for whenever your next meeting would be.

The contact sat in your phone, untouched and not thought about again for weeks. After the first few days of debating whether or not to text him, you had gotten busy with school work and his number became the least of your worries. It wasn't until you saw Bruce on the TV did you remember that you had his number.

You texted him on Saturday morning asking if he wanted to meet up at the same dog park that you both met. He texted back rather fast agreeing to the plans and that he would see you that afternoon.

Which was why you had gone through seven outfits before deciding on the perfect casual and cute look. This wasn't a date, not even close to one, but this was also Damian Wayne, the same guy that wore expensive cashmere as a causal look. You wanted to look a little bit nice if you were going to be seen with him.

Ten minutes before he was supposed to arrive, you sat in your car talking to Terry. It was a habit that you gained from spending a little too much time by yourself. Then again, was there better company than your dog?

"This isn't a date, Terry. This is two friends meeting up because we both have dogs," you looked over at him. "Damian comes from a completely different world than us anyways, it's never going to happen, as much as you and I would like it to."

Once again, Terry barked at you in response. With a sigh, you left your car and walked over to the entrance of the park. Damian wasn't there yet but your dog was a little to excited to just sit and wait. You settled with letting him off leash and throwing his ball for him to fetch.

Terry came racing past you at such high speeds you didn't think he was going to be able to stop. And he hadn't, he went running past your spot and right towards Damian. You rolled your eyes at your dog. By his attitude, you were starting to think Terry liked Damian more than you. 

"Hello, (Y/N)," Damian joined you. It didn't take long for your dogs to go play together and the two of you stood side by side watching them. You didn't quite trust Terry enough to not keep an eye on him.

He held a small frame in his hand and you wondered what it could be. Damian noticed your eyes it and handed it over to you. "I saw this the other day and thought of Terry."

It was a small framed picture of a hand drawn terrier and painted with water colours. It was beautiful. Damian would never admit to you that he didn’t buy it, but painted it himself. "It's yours."

He pushed the gift a little closer to you until you grabbed it. "Thank you, Damian. It's beautiful."

"You're welcome," he nodded. If there was one thing you quickly noticed about him, it was that he was a man of few words. He choose his words precisely and accurately. "How has school been?"

You were in the same grade as him, but different high schools. While he went to a private school, you weren't quite a privileged and had to go to a public school. It was fine, but university out of the city was calling your name and the time couldn’t pass by any slower.

"Busy," you shrugged. Truth be told you barely had time for anything. This was the first free moment you had in weeks and somehow you managed to spend it with Damian. "How about you?"

"Busy," he raised an eyebrow at you, the hint of a smirk on his lips. He was mocking you, again. "Do you have plans? After graduation?"

"Central City," you told him. "I want to go to school there for -"

You never got to finish your sentence. The two of you had lost track of your dogs and neither of you had noticed Titus barreling towards you. There was no way you could have moved in time or that he was going to stop.

Titus towered over you as he jumped towards you. You braved yourself to hit the grass but it had never come. Instead arms caught you and steadied you back on your feet. Damian managed to keep you from falling with amazing strengthens lightning quick reflexes.

He didn't let go of you like expected. Instead he looked at the growing wonder in your eyes and the realization of how close you were. You swore that he could hear your heart thumping in your chest. 

Both your dogs barked at you and brought you out of the brief moment. Damian dropped his arms and you awkwardly stepped back. You straightened your clothing and tried to tame the bright flush that rose up your neck. Damian cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. 

"Thanks, for the save."

><

You kept the picture that Damian gave you on your desk in your room. Your mother, who always snooped through your room was quick to find it. She asked where you had found such a beautiful painting and after a moment of debating, you chose to tell her the truth. You were friends with Damian Wayne.

Growing up, you always figured that your mother had a little bit of a crush on Bruce Wayne. How could she not? He was rich, attractive, a great business man, he was perfect. You and your mother kept that little secret from your father - who you also suspected the attraction.

So when you told her that you knew his son, she had nearly squealed with excitement. And the fact that he had given you a gift as well? Your mother was already to start planning the wedding.

You were just friends with him, there was no need for her to freak out over this. However, you couldn't stop thinking about that brief moment that the two of you had a couple days before. Damian had the most mesmerizing green eyes that you had ever encountered in your life and you wanted nothing more than to look into them again.

However, you refrained from texting him about plans again. You talked to him daily since your last hang out but didn't want to force another puppy date - or just the two of you - for at least a few more days. He was a good friend, and you didn't want to spook him off before you got the chance to know him better.

Lucky for you, you never needed to worry about plans. Damian texted you the address of what you assumed to be a coffee shop just over a week since you had last seen him. You had to admit that waking up to his text Sunday morning had caused your heart to flutter with excitement.

By the time that you were dressed and on your way to the right place, it was just about ten in the morning. Terry was in your passenger's seat and his head was sticking out the window. As you pulled into the small parking space, you saw Damian waiting alone just outside the door.

His black hair was slicked back - different that it was every other time you saw him. You liked it that way, it showed off all his features and made it easier for you to admire. "Guess you weren't supposed to come, Ter," You looked over at your dog. "Oh well, too late now. Wish me luck, bud," you raised your hand for him to 'high-five', a trick you taught him a while ago.

Terry walked in front of you and was excited the moment that he laid eyes on Damian. He smiled as he saw you, an action you weren't expecting. "Sorry, I mentioned your name this morning and he wouldn't let me leave the house without him."

"You talk to him a lot, you know," Damian pointed out. A faint blush rose up your neck. "I saw you, both times in the car." Your cheeks felt like they were on fire - this could not be happening. He laughed at your embarrassment, the kind of teasing that made you wonder if he was trying to flirt. You desperately hoped that was the case. 

Damian had the tendency to tease you lots when you spend time with him. Most of the time you could tell that he was joking, but the other majority of the time you couldn’t help but feel that there was more too it. A glimmer of something would shine in his eyes - a look that you couldn’t help but melt under. 

"No worries, I talk to Titus all the time. He's the only one that doesn't come up with idiotic responses,” Damian assured, placing his hand on your shoulder. It was the first time that he had even come near to touching you on purpose and the shiver that ran up your spine had to have meant something. 

"Dogs truly are man's best friend," You agreed. Damian retracted his hand and reached down to pat Terry on the head for a brief moment. 

"Wait until you see my pet cow."

"You have a cow?" You didn't know what was more shocking - the fact that he truly owned a cow or that he wished you to come visit him at his home. Damian only nodded, he had many pets.

Terry was aimlessly walked between yours and Damian's legs. You didn't realize how much available leash he had until he had completely wrapped himself around the both of you. You weren't paying any attention to him - which once again had been a mistake on your behalf.

Another dog walked by on the street. Terry wasn't big, or strong, but when he wanted to pull, he could give a vicious tug. This happened just at the wrong time. You were trying to untangle yourself and as Terry tried to attack the passing dog, he had forced you to lose balance.

Once again, Damian had managed to catch up before you landed on the cement. You had gotten your wish of wanting to be close to him again. To smell the sharp cologne he wore and notice all the little imperfections on his face. The faint scars, the freckles on his dark skin. He truly was just as beautiful, if not more, as his father.

"I think our dogs are trying to get us together," You blurted out. First Titus, now Terry. They were the reason that you had met and the reason that you had stumbled into his arms twice now. You hadn't meant to speak you thoughts but it was true. You really thought that the dogs were aware of your feelings and were trying to make you act on them.

"I don't know about you and Terry, but I trust Titus with my life."

[hoshologies]

ALL GREEK LOVE, LEE H. [TEASER]

synopsis — you spent the entire summer telling your family that you weren't going to join a sorority. now not only are you an initiated member of delta eta sigma, but you've been elected to the social chair position for you chapter. that's all well and good until heeseung lee, the newly elected social chairman for lambda rho and well-known in the greek community, reaches out to you to start planning runouts between your respective chapters. and now you're spending a lot more time with the cutest boy you've ever met.

genres &&. warnings — romance, fluff, meet-cute, smut, strangers to friends to lovers!au, college!au, greek life!au &&. underage drinking, more tbd.

teaser word count — 1.4k

expected fic word count — 10.5k+

from the author — this is my first real return to writing in a long time. i've been writing little pieces here and there, but this is the first genuine fic i've written in a while. i'm not done writing it, but what i have written i am so incredibly proud of. this fic is a passion project framed around representing a more accurate version of greek life, seeing as i'm a sorority girl. not everything i've experienced during my time in greek life is depicted in the full fic, but i tried to get a few things i think are way more interesting than just frat parties.

update — all greek love is out now!

the entire summer before starting your freshman year of college, you had told your family that you weren’t going to join a sorority. in your mind, there was a specific mold that one needed to fit into to join a sorority and quite frankly, you checked none of the boxes on those stereotypes. 

yet here you sit, months later, in your sorority’s chapter meeting. and you’ve just been elected to the social chair position of the chi nu chapter of delta eta sigma. 

truthfully, you’re not quite sure how you ended up here. you hadn’t formally rushed the week before school, but a couple of drunk girls at a frat party at the beginning of the semester had told you that you should rush their sorority. maybe you’d been a little desperate to branch out or maybe you were just a little curious of what rushing looked like, but a few days later at the student organization fair, you’d found the booth for the sorority the girls had told you they belonged to, delta eta sigma, and signed up for their informal rush.

by the end of october, you had been extended a bid, assigned a big, and promptly initiated into the chapter in what you jokingly referred to as a cult ritual (how could you describe it any other way? all white outfit? candles? promises to not divulge secrets about rituals that happen behind closed doors?).

and now, just three weeks after officially joining the chapter, you’ve ended up on the programming board somehow. you’d gotten a call from the selection board while sitting in the drive-thru of mcdonalds, waiting impatiently for your order of fries and a sprite as a treat for doing well on your gen psych quiz. the girl who’d called you said you’d made “quite the impression” on the sorority since accepting the bid and that they (including the chapter advisor) thought you’d be the perfect fit for the social chair.

“it’s a solo position, so you won’t have a co-chair like community service does, but given your grades so far this semester and the impact you’ve made on the chapter already, we would really love to see what you can do in this position! would you be interested?”

so really, how could you say anything but yes? you still don’t think you fit all that perfectly into the chapter, but they were giving you an opportunity to get involved and to make yourself fit. your name is announced for the social chair, one of your senior pictures pasted up on the powerpoint, and the girls around you smile and snap their fingers. from the executive board seats up front, your big smiles at you, eyes sparkling with something akin to pride.

a few days later, as you’re getting lunch at the student union, your phone screen lights up with a notification from groupme. a name you vaguely recognize is paired with a message that gets cut off after a few words.

heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho and…

as you sit down with your salad and dr. pepper, you click the notification and read it in full. at the very top of the new message thread is heeseung’s picture and it clicks where you recognize him from. he’s friends with your big and he’s involved in a few of the bigger student organizations on campus, namely the activities board, so you’ve seen him in the student union fairly often.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho! i’m friends with liv and she told me that you just got elected as the new social chair for your sorority. i just got slated into the same position for my frat.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: i know we won’t start running things until next semester, but i just wanted to reach out and touch base with you. i’m really looking forward to planning runouts with you next year :]

[1:37 pm] heeseung lee: sorry. i hope that wasn’t too weird. i guess i’m just a little too excited and want to get a bit of a headstart on things. have a good day!

you laugh to yourself, shaking your head as you set the phone down to take a bite of salad. before getting involved in greek life, you always assumed sorority girls and frat guys were airheaded and mean, people who peaked in high school, trying desperately to drag those glory days out. obviously since then, you’ve come to realize that while it is true in some occasions, most times, greek life members are the opposite.

heeseung, who you’ve never spoken to before, is proving that.

[1:42 pm] hi heeseung! not weird at all, i promise. and i’m really excited to plan events with you next semester too :]

by the beginning of february, you haven’t done much with your position. granted, the semester has only really been in full swing for about a week and a half and you have two full semesters to do plenty of things, but you’re itching to start planning. the binder you were given after the officer transition ritual has so many good ideas, everything from runouts with frats and sororities to both formal and semiformal.

while you’re brainstorming ideas for potential social events late on a tuesday night, your phone lights up from its spot on your nightstand, the short bell sound ringing out. you reach for it absentmindedly as you finish writing down the idea you had (rent out skating rink??? check budget). since the beginning of the school year, you’ve become desensitized to the groupme icon when it appears in your notifications, so much so that you barely register heeseung’s name upon first glance. it takes a second look for you to realize who’s texted you.

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: sorry for texting so late. i just wanted to see if you wanted to meet up some time and start on some ideas for a runout?

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: obviously not now!! but if you’re free some time this week, we could meet somewhere and talk. i spent all of winter break brainstorming stuff, so i’d really like to run it by you if that’s ok.

[9:14 pm] hi again heeseung. i was actually planning on getting lunch tomorrow at the student union after i’m done with class at 11 if you’re free then?

the second you press send, you immediately start second guessing yourself. does it come off like you’re asking him to have lunch with you? because that wasn’t your intention. really, you just meant that you’re going to be on campus proper for a little bit and wanted to offer to meet before you got lunch. not that it would be a bad thing if he asked if you could get lunch together; liv likes heeseung well enough and you’ve seen him around, and he really does seem nothing but nice, so lunch really couldn’t hurt— okay, take a breath. it is not that serious.

you take a deep breath and then let your muscles go lax as you exhale. better. 

it feels like ages pass before he texts back. you’re worried you’ve scared him off, but it really shouldn’t be that stressful. it’s just a text and he’s the one who wanted to meet up in the first place anyways; you just offered a time and location. but finally, your phone dings again and his name lights up your screen.

[9:21 pm] heeseung lee: actually that works perfect!! i get out of class at the same time and usually grab lunch at the u before heading to the activities board office. wanna meet by the dining area next to the office?

[9:21 pm] sounds like a plan!! i’ll see you then!

heeseung, you realize as you set your phone down and put away your binder for the night, is the only social chair of any of the greek organizations who has reached out to you to start getting the ball rolling. he seems to be just as anxious as you are about doing this job well, which makes you feel at least a little validated. nervous and jittery though you may be about meeting him for the first time tomorrow after only having chatted with him over text twice, the idea of him feeling the same as you brings a strange form of comfort. with enough of it, you actually start looking forward to seeing him tomorrow as you lay down to sleep, mind running a mile a minute with what it’ll be like to meet him after all of the things you’ve heard about him from liv. by the time you slip into the embrace of sleep, anxiety has boiled down into anticipation.

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Night Shift

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4,189

Warnings: a few bad language words (sorry Stevie), fluff, I think that’s all

Summary: Your bad day turns worse when you're given the night shift at work. But you find it has more perks than you original thought. 

A/N: Here it is! My first ever posted/published work! This is a bit new for me for quite a few reasons. 1. I usually write OCs. 2. I'm used to writing 3rd POV and past tense. 3. I like writing series and longer fics. 4k is actually pretty mild for me. Also, I'm planning on doing more first date fics with the Avengers, but we'll see if I keep up with that. Thank you and enjoy!

(Pictures not mine but collage is)

Today is not your favorite day. You woke up late, your laundry isn’t done because the machines were all being used when you tried, your roommate didn’t do the dishes so you had to do them before you left, your car broke down - meaning you had to take the Subway - and now you’re working an extra shift because your stupid coworker didn’t show up.

Who even comes in to get coffee at 9 at night? The sky is dark, the stars are out, and everyone should be getting ready for bed - including you. God. You love New York, but sometimes you wish the damn city would just go to sleep for once in it’s goddamn existence.

You’re practically asleep on your feet, getting ready to close in fifteen minutes, when the door opens, the little bell ringing in response. You rub your eyes and turn from where you’re wiping down the back counters to speak to the wackjob who wants coffee at this cursed hour.

You freeze, your eyes meeting stunning azures framed by dark lashes. Thick, soft, chocolate locks fall down past his ears and into those alluring eyes. Lips, perfectly pink and very tempting, pull up in a delicious smile. He’s got a jawline sharp as a knife, only accentuated by the dark scruff covering it. Jesus Christ this man is attractive. He’s also vaguely familiar…

He strolls up to the counter, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans that pulled taunt around his thick thighs. His shirt is pulled tightly across his shoulders, muscles flexing beneath the fabric, threatening to tear the material with every movement.

“Hello.” You thank whatever deity that might be out there that your voice doesn’t shake as you greet the gorgeous god of a man.

“Hi there, doll. Cody’s off today, huh?” Even his voice is breathtaking.

“Yeah. He didn’t show up. Is he a friend of yours?”

The man tilts his head in confusion, before his eyes light up realization. “Oh, no. No. I just come here a lot.”

“At nine at night?”

He shrugs, a small blush rising on his cheeks. “It’s the only time I get to myself really.” It clicks in your head who this man is when he raises his hand to rub the back of his neck. Black metal gleams in place of tanned skin.

“You’re Bucky Barnes!” You blink at him in disbelief. His hand quickly finds its way back to his pocket while he chuckles awkwardly. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. You’re one of my favorite Avengers! After Black Widow, obviously, but-” You stop rambling, feeling heat rise to your face. “God, I’m tired. Uh, what can I get you?” You punch in the order that he gives you and look up shyly. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

He smirks and leans on the counter. “How about a name, darlin'? Yours, specifically.”

You roll your eyes, unable to contain the snort you give. “I’ll be right back with your order, sir.” You start making his drink, avoiding his eyes that you feel watching your every move. Usually you had another worker helping to make drinks, but since there’s only ten minutes until closing, you’re alone to close up the shop tonight.

You also usually only write on the cup when there’s more than one person, but you find yourself writing down your own name on his cup. It is part of his order, after all.

“Here you go.” You repeat his order, handing his cup to him.

He raises an amused eyebrow. “You forgot-” You interrupt him by clicking your tongue and turning the cup in his hands. He looks down at it curiously, before grinning and reading the ink out loud. The way your name falls off his lips has you holding in a shiver. “Thanks, sugar.” You watch him leave the shop, whistling a nameless tune, and wonder if Cody would mind switching shifts more.

Turns out, Cody had been arrested, so your boss had to hire a new kid who, because of school, couldn’t do the night shifts. Which meant your shifts changed. Not that you mind all that much; it gives you more chances to see Bucky.

When he said he comes in often, he wasn’t lying. Occasionally he stays while you clean and lock up and the two of you get lost in conversation under the city lights outside the shop. He usually orders and leaves with a witty comment and a wink, probably off to save the world from aliens or Nazis. He always orders the same thing, but he always asks for a little something extra, different every night.

“The usual?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Anything else?”

“Your phone number would be great.”

~

“I’ll get right on your drink, Buck.”

“Awesome. Can you add your favorite flowers to that, too? Thanks, sugar.”

~

“I’m gonna change it up today, dollface.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll have the usual, but on the side I want to know what your favorite dessert is.”

He’s such a charmer. You aren’t sure if he’s just flirting or if he actually likes you. You think maybe he does that with every girl - waitresses, cashiers, secretaries - and he’s just being friendly. You’re sure after being stuck as a brainwashed assassin for nearly a century, flirting and cracking jokes with people makes him feel more normal. Still, you can’t help but wish that maybe the relationship you have now would become��more.

It’s not until he shows up a few weeks after your first meeting that you finally get an answer to whether or not he really likes you.

The bell rings, signifying a customer coming into the shop. You know it’s Bucky by the watch on your wrist; in the past few weeks of working the night shift, only one other person came in at nine o’clock.

“Good evening, beautiful.” A smile lifts the corners of your mouth at the familiar smooth voice that you could listen to all day. “Whatcha doin’ down there?”

You straighten up and look over the counter. “It’s called inventory. How’s your day been, Buckaroo?”

“Better now that I get to see your pretty face.”

You roll your eyes, face heating up and a small smile gracing your features. “Give me a minute and I’ll have your drink done. Anything extra?”

“This is a bit riskier than normal, but I’ve been wanting to try it for a while. Can I get your schedule?”

You raise an eyebrow in confusion as he smirks confidently. “My schedule?”

“Yeah. I just need to know something.”

“What would that be?”

“You free on Saturday, doll?”

* * * * * * * *

Saturday comes much too slowly for your liking, especially considering he asked you out only two days prior. He didn't tell you what you'd be doing today, so you decide on a casual sundress that you can play off as fancy if you need it to be. The color and style compliments you and your beautiful features perfectly and you can only hope he agrees. Your roommate assured you you looked gorgeous before going out with some of their other friends this morning.

You're just putting the finishing touches on your outfit for the day when a knock on your door sounds throughout your apartment. You check your watch: 10:30 on the dot. Just like he said. You get up too quickly, causing you to trip on your own feet and stumble - but luckily you catch yourself before you fall. Feeling simultaneously embarrassed and relieved he didn't see your clumsy actions, you head to open the door.

A bouquet of your favorite flowers appeared once you open the door, bright cerulean eyes shining at you from behind them. He grins, said eyes scanning your figure. "You look pretty as a picture, doll."

You duck your head bashfully, taking the flowers from him. "Thank you." You not so subtly check him out as you put the flowers in a vase. Like always, Bucky is absolutely stunning: his brown locks frame his face, falling into those mesmerizing blues, which are even more so due to the dark blue t-shirt under the light bIue jean jacket hugging his muscled torso. Dark jeans pull taunt across those thighs, his large hands in his pockets casually. You find yourself frowning when you notice his left hand is covered by a black glove. You want to say something, but decide against it, too anxious to ruin the date with this god of a man.

He clears his throat, which brings your gaze back to his face. You feel yourself heat up at the smirk on his perfectly pink lips. "Uh, I, um, so...what are we doing today?"

"I thought we could have some fun today, since all you ever seem to do is work."

"I don't always work." You quickly defend. He raises a disbelieving eyebrow, making you drop your head again. "Okay. Maybe I don't get out much."

He chuckles. "Good thing. That way I get you to myself." There's that smug smirk again. "As for what we're doing, that's for me to know and you to find out. I'd wear walking shoes if I were you, though."

You give him a curious look, moving over to grab your keys, phone, and wallet, before slipping on your sneakers. "I don't get a hint or anything?"

"And ruin the surprise? Where's the fun in that?" You giggle a bit as the two of you head out your door and down the hall. "I didn't know if you mind motorcycles, so I just borrowed Steve's car." He tells you in the elevator.

You talk about motorcycles and your opinion of them as you walk out your building and into the bright Spring sun. Your eyes widen at the nice Camaro parked in the street that he leads you to. "Wow."

"Yeah." Bucky nods in agreement. "Tony had it custom made for Steve for their anniversary a few months ago."

"And he's allowing you to use it?"

Bucky chuckles, running a hand through his hair as a pink tint dusts his cheeks. "'Allow' is a strong word."

You laugh as he opens the passenger door for you. You thank him, sliding onto the nice brown leather seat. "Does he even know you have it?"

He shrugs, shutting the door and leaning into the open window. "He'll find out soon, I'm sure."

Another laugh escapes you, a smile adorning his lips at the sound. He walks around the car, doing a hood slide to make you chortle again. While you two start driving, you try to convince him to give you a hint, but he's stubborn, denying you answers with that annoyingly charming smirk of his.

You recognize the direction you're going after a while and bounce in your seat as you arrive. "Coney Island?"

"I haven't been here since before the War and I've been meaning to come see how it's changed." He told you with a grin. "Who better to come check it out with than the pretty dame who serves me coffee at nine o'clock without complaining?"

Rolling your eyes to cover how much comments affect you, you smile teasingly in return. "Have you always been such a charmer, Barnes?"

He parks the car before shooting you a wink. "Only to angels, darlin', and you're the first one I've met so far."

You inwardly curse, hating how easily flustered you get around him. He gets out of the car and you're about to follow when he opens your door for you and offers his hand to you like the gentleman he is. You take it, enjoying the feeling of your smaller one against his rough calluses, and he helps you out of the car, shutting the door behind you.

"You ready to have the time of your life, dolIface?"

"As long as you get me a treat." You joke, linking your arm with the one he offers.

"Like I wasn't going to?" He scoffs back. "Who do you think l am, sugar? Now c'mon. Fun's awaitin'."

You laugh, letting him drag you around, loving the child-like wonder in his pretty eyes. Whether or not you enjoy roller coasters, you have a blast: playing carnival games, eating food you both know is terrible for you, but tastes oh so good, and people watching the interesting crowds, all while teasing and playing around with each other. There's nothing better you can think of to do with your free day than goof off with Bucky, no stress or worries plaguing your mind like usual. He even wins you multiple adorable plushies! Being a super soldier wasn't just good for saving the world, evidently.

It was while you're eating lunch that you ask Bucky why he's wearing a glove. "I've already seen your arm. I don't mind."

He hesitates, opening his mouth before licking his lips nervously. "It's not...I know you don't. I just don't...I dunno. I don't wanna freak anyone out."

You frown and put down your food, leaning forwards on your elbows. "First off, I think you're an amazing person. Just throwing that out there. Second, I don't think anyone will mind. You're a hero. An Avenger. Basically a celebrity with a badass arm. And, finally, if anyone does say anything, I'll tell them off. Easy peasy."

He snorts at that, before looking at his gloved hand warily. You reach across the table to give both his hands a squeeze. He meets your eyes and you grin reassuringly back. "If you're not comfortable, that's okay. Just know that other people should never be the reason to hide yourself. Trust me."

"I do." He says genuinely. You give him a questioning look, playing with the tips of his gloved fingers. At his nod, you slowly start taking his glove off, giving him time to say no. He doesn't, letting you tug it all the way off. He blushes when you lift the smooth metal to your lips.

"So, what's next? Wanna win me one of those monkeys with the velcro hands?" He chuckles at your question, telling you he'd win you all of them if you asked. You giggle, tightening your hold on his hand and, after finishing the last bite of food, pulling him to the booth with the monkey prizes.

When it starts getting dark, Bucky convinces you to go on the Ferris Wheel with him, promising to hold your hand the whole time if you're scared of heights (even though you haven't let go of his hand or arm since lunch). It's one of the most stunning scenes you've ever seen. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, a few stars dotting the darkened sky, a rare sight living in New York City. The aforementioned city's lights were turning on, causing the skyline to glow brightly. It's hard to think of anything bad about NYC when she looks like that.

"Wow. " You breath, enchanted by the city you've grown to love as home. "There's something almost...magical about it, don't you think?" You turn to Bucky, still captivated by the view, expecting him to be the same. After all, New York has been his home for over a century and so much has changed. Instead, you find him intently watching you, a small, adoring smile etched on his features. You smile shyly, unable to keep his gaze while he's looking at you like that - like you're the most enthralling thing he's seen, bewitching his heart and soul, even with the magnificent picture before you.

"Yeah...there is." He agrees, grabbing your chin between his left thumb and pointer finger gently, making your eyes meet. His right arm is around your shoulders, pulling you into his warm chest, heating you up from the chill the night is bringing.

Your heart drums hard against your ribs when he glances at your lips and you're sure he could hear it, even without his enhanced hearing. Your eyes lock onto his lips as his tongue darts out to wet them. You're suddenly so much closer, his right hand holding the back of your neck delicately while his left cups the side of your jaw. Your hands are gripping his jacket, noses brushing.

"Can I kiss you?" His voice comes out low and raspy.

"If you didn't, I'd probably smack you."

You feel his deep chuckle reverberate through his chest, which you just notice is pressed solidly against yours. Before you can process anything, his lips are slanted over yours. They're softer than you originally thought and they move expertly against yours. It surprises you, before you remember he's technically over a century old, so of course he has experience.

The kiss is over before you want it to be, but the need for oxygen gets too much and your lungs start to sting, so you pull back reluctantly, your hands now in his hair while he's holding your face tenderly.

"Speaking of magic."

You laugh, rolling your eyes as the Ferris Wheel starts turning again. "Who knew Bucky Barnes is such a sap?"

He smirks, leaning forwards to peck your Iips a couple times. "I prefer the term 'romantic'."

Once you get off, you hold onto his elbow, leaning against his shoulder. "Thank you for bringing me, Buck. I really enjoyed today."

"Well that's good considering we're not done."

Your eyebrows shoot up. "Wait, what?"

Bucky scoffs in amusement. "You didn't think that was all, didya, doll? The day's not over; the night's still young!" His right arm slings around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing your head.

"Okay. What's next?" You ask curiously. He raises an eyebrow, a smirk on those delicious lips. "Another surprise?"

"Hope you're hungry, sweetheart."

"Dinner?"

Giving you a charming grin, he leads you back to the car. "Guess you'll have to wait 'n see, darlin’."

* * * * * * * *

"Buck.” You groan, toeing the ground nervously. The blindfold covering your eyes was keeping you from seeing anything and, to your embarrassment, you've already tripped more times than you care to admit. “Where are we? l feel like we've been walking forever. Can I take this stupid thing off yet?”

Bucky chuckles softly in your ear, holding you steady as you walk on the uneven surface beneath your feet. “We’re almost there, doll. I promise."

Letting out a huff, you let him lead you further along. Finally, after what feels like hours, though you know you're being dramatic and haven't been walking that long, he stops. "Stay right here," he mumbles, his hands that were on your shoulders leaving, along with his warmth behind you, with a kiss to your cheek.

"Haha. You're so funny."

A couple snickers leave his lips and you can just imagine the smile no doubt gracing his features - the one that crinkles the corners of his eyes adorably. You feel wind nip at your bare skin and shiver slightly, wondering where the hell you are.

"Okay. C'mere." His hands are on you again, the contrast of the two adding to the goosebumps the breeze was giving you. "Right here." You can practically feel his excitement and nerves as he positions you. "Alright. Ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be, I suppose."

His nimble fingers are suddenly at the edge of cloth covering your eyes, which he makes quick work of, tugging it off gently. "You can open your eyes, sugar." He chuckles, seeing your eyes tightly clenched shut. You do as he says and blink them open. The sight that meets you takes your breath away.

He brought you to a beach, which you had kind of already guessed due to the sad slipping through your shoes. In front of you, a blanket is spread out, being held at the corners by lanterns, which are connected by a string of fairy lights outlining the blanket. Pillows are scattered on the blanket, a picnic basket to the side while a single red rose is in a small vase in the center with rose petals surrounding the setup. He really is a romantic.

"Bucky. It's beautiful. When did you set this up?"

He rubs the back of his neck, turning red. You smile, enjoying the fact that you can make him just as flustered as he makes you. “Actually, the team helped me out a bit. It was originally just Natasha and Steve. But, uh, then Tony and Wanda found out and then...Sam."

You giggle, knowing his and Sam's brotherly relationship from previous conversation. "I bet he teased the shit out of you when he found out."

"Please," Bucky scoffs. "I'll be the butt of his jokes for at least a month. At least, this part of me will."

"Well, I love this side of you if that's worth anything."

He grins dashingly at you. "Then let the birdbrain tease, because that’s worth everything. Here." Taking your hand, he leads you over to the blanket and sits you down. "All those questions at the coffee shop and I never asked your favorite drink so I brought red, white, beer, Coke, Pepsi, root beer, and," he pulls out the last bottle he brought with a boyish smile. "Apple juice. There's water in 'ere too. And, o' course, the meal and the dessert, which I did ask about because I'm not a complete idiot."

Laughing, you can't help but pull him in for a kiss. "You're so cute."

He clears his throat, his face heating up while he rubs the back of his neck, tying his hair back in a knot. He hands out compliments like candy on Halloween but he can't take them to save his life. How adorable can one man be?

You two eat and talk about everything from hilarious childhood stories to what keeps you up at night. You love listening to his fascinating tales of playing through the 20s, scraping through the 30s, and fighting through the 40s. You especially love the way his face lights up when talking about his family, the Howling Commandos, and America's Golden Boy, both twink and tank stories.

After a couple hours, you find yourself wrapped in his warm jacket - which smelled amazing - leaning against him as he tells you about his new family. You sip on your preferred drink, your eyes fluttering shut, content to simply listen to his soothing voice talking about Clint and Scott's latest prank on Pietro.

"You tired, doll?" You hear him whisper tenderly, his arms around your waist while his thumbs run small circles on your sides.

You hum and look back at him over your shoulder. "Just feeling the moment." He smiles adoringly at you, kissing your temple.

"It's getting late anyways. We should get you home. Don't want your roommate worrying."

You scoff, but agree. You help him clean up and carry things to the car, despite his protests. You nearly fall asleep on the ride back, his big, warm hand resting comfortably on your thigh the whole way. He squeezes gently when you pull up to your building, murmuring lightly to wake you up.

Ever the gentleman, he walks you inside and helps you bring the armful of prizes he got you to your door. Once there, you unlock the door and lean against the frame, facing him.

"Thank you, James. As far as first dates go, this is by far the best one I've had."

He shoots you a smug grin. "Glad to hear that, beautiful. Does that mean if I asked for a second date you'd say yes?"

You give him a smirk back. "I'd say your chances are very good."

"And if asked for a goodnight kiss from the most gorgeous girl I've ever been blessed to be in the presence of?"

You giggle, ducking your head shyly. His hands grip your jaw, pulling your gaze back to him. He nudges your nose with his, whispering against your lips, "is that a yes?" AII you can think to do is nod. He smirks at your reaction, before he's pulling your lips against his. It's more passionate, less hesitant and experimental, than the few previous kisses you shared. He's angling your face to deepen the kiss, his hands tangle in your hair and his tongue prods your lips open, swallowing the little whimper you let out.

When you pull back, you're breathless, panting against his open month. "You workin' tomorrow, darlin'?" He rasps out.

"No." You try to collect yourself enough to answer, although it's hard with all your nerves on fire, his scent fogging up your brain. You manage to move your heavy tongue enough to say, "I have the weekend off."

A broad grin lights up his pretty face. "Great. I'll be over at nine. Have a nice night, sweetheart."

You nod, an airy "goodnight" leaving your lips. You watch him walk off, a pep in his step and his lips turned up. You lean back against your door, hugging all your new plushies to your chest, still wrapped up in his jacket, and let out a sigh.

You'll have to go visit Cody and thank him. After all, that dreadful night shift gave you the best day of your Iife.

[antigoneidk]

Everything I wanted to say:a letter to you|t.h.

a/n: I had this idea in my head for days but I was only able to write it now hehe. I hope you like it and I am sorry for any mistakes💞*gif is not mine*

warnings:fluff, fluff, a lit bit of angst(only if you are like me)

My love, my light, my life.

I have no words to describe how much in love i am with you. How fast my heart beats when i feel you're around. How my butterflies dance inside my stomach whenever you touch me. How I melt right in your hands everytime you squeeze my body, keep me safe in your arms. How the world stops spinning when you kiss me with those lips, that fit mine so perfectly.

I was convinced that true love didn't exist. That my parents kept lying to me through fairytales with princess waiting the prince with the white horse to take them away, show them love and affection. And both of them will fall for each other.

But as I was growing up and looked around me, everything proved them wrong. People are cruel, full of hate, shameless, unaware of how bad they can damage others. I just locked myself in four walls tired of it. Tired of not having someone to talk to. A real friend. An honest person, pure, innocent, loving, caring, kind, generous. The opposite of the majority.

And then you came into my life.

I am not gonna be able to forget the first time that I saw your face. You were smiling bright, the whole street lighting up. Your eyes were a little smaller. Your nose and cheeks had turned to a light red, as you were speaking to some people, fans. I wish I was closer that moment to picture in my head every detail, to paint your face and put it next to me each time you are gone. And you wore that blue sweater, my favourite one which I'm wearing right now, and that pair of black jeans, always looking good at you. Your hair were curly and every ten seconds your fingers were running through.

I heard your laugh from across the street, a sound that was playing in my mind for days. I had stopped there by accident before I searched around me curious from where the sound came from. That was all it took for me to just stand there and watch you, hug and smile to others, joking around, laughing, giving autographs. I wondered how you would smell every time you crossed your arms around somebody. I liked that you were happy, open handed, polite to them. I knew that you were different that day and even though you might not believe it,is the truth.

And then you glanced at me, taking my breath away. It was like the time had stopped, the world paused and the only ones with the power to move and talk were just the two of us. I felt your brown eyes looking at my soul, my life, my choices, my mistakes. I got embarrassed and scared. Scared that the fairytales were based on real life, that I might have found my prince. I know it sounds stupid, and now that I'm thinking of it, yes it is. But for a second I had that fantasy. My brain and heart stopped working, all my senses gave up. It was only you.

Tom then you smiled at me. ME. My walls that I was building for years fell down with that smile making me feel weak, not being able to process this. I've never had someone to look at me the way you did that day, I thought I was dreaming. Maybe it wasn't something special for you, you had people's eyes on you 24/7 but for me, you were the first. That's why I stood still in my place. I tried to enjoy every second.

I smiled back at you shyly and pulled my hair back, such a girly move. You looked down still with your smile at your face, then back at me and I swear I was ready to explode from all my emotions. I wanted to cry from happiness that finally something changed in my life but also from sadness because I knew that was for only a few seconds. Reality hit my face hard when a couple of men started shouting your name and dragging you to a different direction away for me. And that's when I said to myself that "it was too good to be true" and walked with tears in my eyes. If anyone else was at my place maybe they wouldn't care about it but I did.  I lived on the sidelines for so long and I had a chance,  I thought I had a chance but I guessed that i didn't deserved it.

And the time when I felt your hand on my shoulder and I saw you standing in front of me I pushed aside all of my negative thoughts and questioned if I was daydreaming and turning crazy. I felt my skin under my clothes burning from your touch, my heart losing control and my brain not working, only my eyes watching and my nose smelling your fragrance. I wanted to hug you just so I can smell it for the rest of my life. Then you talked to me asking if I was okay, your eyes following a teardrop making it's way down to my cheek and I felt so stupid that a boy, a stranger was seeing me like these. Do you remember that?

"Yes" he whispered to himself and turned the page to the other side wanting to read more.

Fast forward to our first date. I was so anxious all day, spending majority of my time in front of a mirror changing outfits, makeup, hair styles not satisfying with anything. I was turning to that teenage girl I always made fun of. I was making circles around the house practicing how I would act around you, how would I speak and what I would say.

You were the sweetest man I could ask for, such a gentleman. I couldn't get my eyes off of you, so confident and handsome, talking about the most silliest things and making me laugh all night with your jokes and random comments for the topic I was talking about. You held my hand and kept listening to me and laughed at my miserably jokes. I was the luckiest woman that night and to the ride back at my house I remember feeling so sad that I had to say goodbye to you even though i wanted to spent more and more time with you. By surprise you didn't stop and continued to drive.

We got to our favorite place now, yours back in the day. I never knew why you did that and although I want so desperately to know I'll never ask. Let that kind of mystery follow. We sat down and kept a deep conversation starting about our past. Well mine. I was battling with my self if I should had open to you or not and I'm glad I did. You listened carefully to what I was saying and held my hand the entire time, squeezing when I was about to cry. You have no idea how much strength you gave me with that touch and how much courage to keep going. I wanted you to know everything that I had been through. It was the only way to know if you would stay and not leave me alone. I was terrified but prepared to fight this feeling of loneliness again.

You kissed me.

I get butterflies only from thinking of it, of our first kiss.  Your lips covered mine and our tongues met for the first time exploring each other. Your hands held my cheeks and pulled me closer to you, giving me the warmth I was lacking for years. My hands shaking touched yours after a long time not wanting to let them go and the sensation drove me insane. My heart was exploding inside my chest, my blood was running through my veins faster that lightning, my brain was hurting from the situation and was wondering if this was actually true. I pulled away and opened my eyes. I found yours shut your lips pressed to one another. I thought that you regretted this, that it was stupid and that I seduced you to do this. Your half smiled then showed up, my heart skipped a beat, and you said that this was better than your imagination.  My inner child raised from deep down myself. I wanted to jump around, laugh and shout, kiss you again, hold you, hug you, feel you.

Days, months passed away and you stood by my side, making me the happiest person alive. I only had to listen to your voice and everything bad disappeared within a second. It's like you have that superpower to fight the dark inside me so easily. I admired you and still do to this day. I love how you push your problems to the side and listen to mine, it sounds selfish right? I'm always here to listen to you baby not matter what and yes there were times you opened up to me. I wondered if I helped you or not.

"My love.."Tom laughed and grabbed the other piece of paper from the table."..you always do" he mumbled.

But I wish you shared your problems more. I am willing to help you or even just listen to you if you just want to get rid of anything. You are a strong man but sharing your feelings is important, you are not bothering me you know.

Can you recall our first time? Damn I would never forget that, from the way you touched every single inch of my skin to the way I felt at the end. Your kisses and hands got me to placed I had never been before, so dreamy. You whispered to me how much you loved me and how i changed you to becoming a better person. I remember every of your words and I can still your voice clearly next to my ear as our bodies move in sync. You were my first.

If you only knew how much you mean to me. How my view for the world changed because of you. How I met incredible people through you. How I learnt to love, respect, share, laugh, fight, adore, live. How you teached me to finally see the colors around me. How life can be  hard, yet awesome. There are nights that we fight, we say things anger makes us too. But by the end of the day I know that I love you so much and that we can get over this. I try to remind my self every night that there are so many reasons to be happy and not sad for a foolish reason. And that's when I turn to you and open my arms for you to hug me and sleep calmly. But you are already waiting for me to do so.

This is my letter to you. I wish I could say those things to you but we both know that i get caught up by my feelings. We would have been talking for hours.

I am not going to be able to stop loving you and that's my weakness. I don't wanna see you cry or heartbroken and you make me melancholic when you are like that. If I could only make you feel the way you make me. I am not the best but I'm trying to I swear and I'll continue to do so every day till the last one.

I love you.

Sincerely yours,

y/n

He wiped away some tears that escaped his eyes and got himself up from where he was sitting to get to you. You had been waiting for him in your bedroom, with roses all around, food and a movie to watch. It wasn't any special day but you felt the need to spoil him with love. In your own way. But as the time went on you fell asleep, with the food at the bedside table and your body hugging his pillow, feeling safe.

Tom smiled at the sight of you sleeping with his pillow in your hands. His heart beat fast as he kept moving closer to you and left a kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too baby" he said and kissed your lips gently. With slowly moves he tried to laid his body next to yours, hugging your waist and pulling you close to his.

It was at this moment that he realised the power you had over him and he was surprised you couldn't notice it.

"I guess I have to write it to you" he laughed at himself and closed his eyes, falling asleep a few moments later with the thought of you at his mind.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Awaiting' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Awaiting"

'Us...we have really fought together...we have really bled together..."

Chapter Summary : Yirina is filled with pain after her talk with Adler that ended into an fight and more she's staying captive, more she start to feel more broken...but she has to stay strong....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3000

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I couldn't simply resist the urge of making the thing that I should have done more longer at an multiples occasions after my come back in the fight against Perseus. He's not only 'the American Monster' that people describe him but he's also the man who has fucked up my entire life and I have to be gentle with him.....I don't know how this world work but it's strange. The things he has done, it did make people angry...mad at him and instead of realizing his own mistakes, he prefer to laugh about them and that's why punching him was an way to make him suffer like I did.

However, the fact that I wasn't able to finish, that the others came in to separate ourselves...it broke me in the inside. They could have let us fight but they decided to intervene and that, it made me really cry, tears that was real and it wasn't just me that was doing this....Bell was crying in the inside as me, in the outside. Adler broke me but more I will be facing him & talking to him face to face, more I will be sure that he will finish the work. Freya & Sonya saw that by listening to the two.

They quickly left me alone, still sounding shocked of what happened as I was still on that bed, facing the same wall as before and crying all the tears in pain from my body. It was the only thing that I was able to do right now, feeling the entire pain and my left wounded arm, hurting me despite the bandages on it. I don't think that nothing around her could stop the pain that I was enduring, they have Park in an another cell and I'm missing her....I need to....stay strong.

I was back in my old apartment in Moscow, feeling more younger and sounding younger too as I was putting in an frame, an picture of me & Zasha, sitting on an bench near the Moskova, supposing that it was maybe Freya or Dedov who took the picture, the latter seeming more real. Next to the little space I put the now-framed picture, there were an calendar indicating that we were in 1977 in June, giving me an perfect date of that memory for the moment.

An deep breath after I put the framed picture at its place, I decided to move next to an closet in my living room to reach out an bottle of scotch and an empty glass from it before moving to my couch after half-filling my glass with scotch and then, sitting down. But as soon as my lips was coming in contact with the glass that I could hear knocks at my front door, stopping me in my move.

"I'm coming." I started, putting my glass down and sounding an bit annoyed before walking to open the front door and discovering Zasha, dressed in an black suit, black tie & and an white shirt. "Zed !" I spoke up, amazed to see them in that outfit.

"Hey, Yirina." They waved at me, looking an bit disturbed despite the smile on their face.

"You're looking good and not good at the same time." I told them as they bit their lips, their eyes away from me.

"Listen, can I come in ?" They demanded, gesturing with their hands behind me.

"Of course." I said, moving away to let them enter my apartment before I closed the door behind them, wondering what do they have. "So, what's happening ?" I asked them curious, my hands still on the door handle.

"We need to talk about things to be honest." They responded, hesitating to sit on the couch by looking at them before they decided to do so.

"About which particulars things, Zed ?" I precisely questioned as their voice and sudden attitute wasn't helping me to know.

"Well, it's....about me, you, Dedov, the only friends I had in here." They exclaimed, putting their hands to holding their head, placing them under their jaws, their eyes. "I'm feeling to be very alone." They added in an sad voice.

"You're not alone, Zasha !" I expressed, getting to sit next to them, fully worried about them.

"I know but my life, I have like only one person in the world I'm friend here and it's only you." They proclaimed, looking at me, sure of their words, me an bit troubled in the inside. "In my life, I have you & Dedov to hold me."

"Only us ?" I breathed.

"I tried to make friends in the KGB but they aren't nice towards me, I lost an friend when I was an border trooper in the 10th Hichaurskiy Detachment." They continued, sounding like they were lamenting themselves for that life. "I don't think I'm made to have friends."

"No, don't say that." I whispered, joining my hands with theirs to try to recomfort them. "You're wrong because I'm here as your friend." I grinned an little at them. "The most important thing is that it's better to have an friend that will always have your back than an lot that don't know if they are really meaning what they're proclaiming." I told them, giving my thoughts about the situation they were now.

"Yeah, I think that you're maybe right." They expressed, their voice an bit better than before but still not normal. "The most important is that you & Dedov are here."  They affirmed as their eyes fall on our both hands joined.

"Anything wrong ?" I asked them, seeing an curious look on their face.

"I was thinking of something else too...." They started, slowly moving their eyes to met mine. "Do you believe that there's something between us ?" They demanded, curious as me, I was blushing from their words.

"I...." I stopped myself, having an sort of revealation in me, like if it was something I couldn't hide to be honest anymore. "Yes, I think there's more than just an simple friendship." I revealed, my left hand slowly moving to get on Zasha's cheek. "Zed....I love you." I whispered in an very low voice, catching their attention.

"Me too, Yiri." They said, using an nickname that I never thought to be used by them. "It's been days that thought was in my mind, it was something to tell."

"And I'm proud of you."  I snorted before we got our foreheads against each other, smiling before finally, our lips met together, causing an sweet, passionate kiss to happen between us on that couch. "Zasha..." I breathed silently as we broke the kiss an little second before starting again, my arms wrapping around their waist and then, they started to move slowly on their back, finding myself on top of them, looking at them with an big smile.

"You're looking amazing, Yiri." They admitted, their right hand posed on my left cheek and stroking delicately as my hands were posed on their chest, under the black vest and above their white shirt.....

"And you....you're looking really nice in an suit !"

That memory did gave me an peak of my short-lived relationship I had with Zasha in 1977 and it was looking so sweet and tender to live but even if it was nice & also strange to have that memory in my head, I could still feel the pain of the last events. The good feelings slowly fading away to be replaced by those of everything bad that happened to me. I wanted to know more about that moment of my life with Zasha but my bad thoughts was taking over, avoiding me to think clearly and perfectly.

Suddenly, I slowly opened my eyes, finding that I was still sleeping in the same direction my eyes totally feeling dryed after crying for hours, my left arm still hurting me an little and my head feeling heavy like an big headache. I first got up from my bed even if I knew that there were nothing to do in that little cell : having an blank stare on an wall, sitting on the edge of my bed and trying to find an way, there were just nothing to do in that fucking cell.

As I was trying to reason myself, I could see that the sweet plate was still near my bed and feeling hungry, I took this time 3 sweets called Kara-Koum like Freya explained to me as they were probably my favorites before, I didn't know that and I wasn't sure of it to be sure. To change, I decided to move away from the bed before sitting against an wall, just next to the little sink but it was still nothing to do, I did only changed position in that cell.

Then, after some times still sit near that sink, I could hear the door of the cell getting opened, meaning that I was going probably to go out for another of their damn test and it was in fact Sonya themselves but they were alone this time.

"Are you the sleeping beauty or the woman that can't sleep ?" They started to ask me like that, their voice sounding very curious.

"Why are you asking that ?" I raised an eyebrow, not understanding their question at all.

"Well, seems that you didn't see the time." They said, pointing at their own watch on their left hands before realizing that I wasn't wearing one.

"Maybe because I'm not given anything to know the time." I exclaimed in an lazy voice, my voice struggling with the pain inside of me.

"It's 3 AM in the morning, the 5th of June." They revealed to me, making my eyes go wide. It's been 3 days that we were captured and nothing was attempted by the others back in Verdansk but are we in this city or far away from it ? "Guess that you aren't the sleeping type, know." They scoffed around.

"Is that funny ?" I muttered, putting my hands on my face before my eyes went back on them. "Why are you here anyway ?" I asked them directly, wanting to know why they were here at that time of the day. "To tell me to go to sleep ?"

"No, I'm not your mother !" They exclaimed, almost breaking an laugh as I wasn't opened for that type of thing now. "Well, the people that are watching you told us that you awake minutes ago and I volunteered myself to go see you." They explained to me, moving at a few meters from me.

"Seems that it isn't your type to do that, looking by your face." I told them in an clear voice, my left hand holding my head.

"Yeah, it isn't my type to go check the prisoner but...." They started to say before cutting themselves out. "I'm somehow curious by an lot of things."

"It isn't the rude Sonya Kuzmin I know." I expressed in an low voice, releasing an little grin on my face.

"You barely knew before for at least 5 minutes before the CIA showed up in your little hideout." They claimed, right in their words before they walk to get sit on my own bed. "If you want to know how I escaped that day,  let's just say that the CIA wasn't very discreet in West-Berlin and Perseus took advantage of it." They added, giving me infos about how they were able to escape the CIA.

"Always the CIA been like that." I joked, making an laugh as for them, they were mostly looking curious & also worried...an first to say.

"Tell me." They crossed their arms, looking at me fully. "Why did you hit Adler ?" They asked me, not removing their eyes from me.

"I have my reasons." I replied intentionally sounding low and putting my eyes away. "He did things that disgusted me, he send me into an war that I shouldn't have fight."

"I heard that but it was going great until you start to get up." They affirmed, unintentionally revealing that they were looking at the scene when it happens. "And then, you flew over that table to hit him."

"I have my reasons, Sonya !" I repeated, raising my voice to make things clear with them. "I'm not even sure that I can consider him an friend." I sniffed, deciding to get up to lean against the wall. "You wouldn't want to be at my place right now."

"Oh hell, I wouldn't want to !" They spoke up, nodding to me in approval. "It's already trouble to have to keep an eye on you but to be you....never." They continued as I crossed my arms, wondering about who was Sonya more deeper.

"Tell me, when did you join Perseus ?" I demanded to them, an real question that I was asking them.

"Why do you want to know ?" They asked back, raising an eyebrow.

"Just like that, to know who are the persons detaining me & my friend." I told them, telling the truth in an way.

"I did joined Perseus in 1980." They started, going up from my bed to face me, looking dead serious. "It's my brother that kinda lead me to join the ranks of Perseus."

"Stitch ?" They nodded to me even if they were an bit shocked that I was knowing that, despite the family name.

"He was mostly the one who raised me during my youth." They added, taking an deep breath. "Our dad was dead before I was born and our mom, she was always working, causing my brother to raise me." They explained, getting my full attention before an look of disturb appeared on their face. "Wait, why I am talking of this to you ?"

"You thought it was maybe best for you to....."

"No, I wouldn't do that." They cut me in my words, looking away in shame. "We're supposed to be enemies like you said but we're talking like friends." They protested, feeling ashamed of themselves.

"And is that an problem ?" I whispered loudly.

"No but...." They started to say until....

"Sonya !" An voice coming from outside the cell was beginning to be heard for us and then, I could see Stitch himself, alongside Knight before he entered alone in the cell. "Sonya !" He repeated, mixed between looking at me & them. "I heard that you wanted to talk with her."

"Yeah but I have everything right." Sonya said to him, looking disturbed to face their brother as me as an spectator of the scene. "It just that she managed to make me talk about things."

"That was only between us." He made them recall, the tone of his voice more threatening than before, apparently knowing of what we talked about. "We're supposed to made her talk, not let her make us talk."

"Uhm....you know that I'm here ?" I questioned him and my words broke him out of his little discussion he had with Sonya while I was watching.

"Knight, bring Sonya back to their quarters, I'm going to have an discussion with Bell." He ordered to him as he gestured to Sonya to leave.

"And now, I'm an taxi !" I could hear Knight mutter as he was walking away with Sonya out of the cell, leaving me alone with Stitch.

"Bell !" He started with me, moving back to my bed to sit on it. "There's things I want to know."

"You want to know why I hit Adler ?" I guessed right as he nodded to me clearly. "I have my reasons." I repeated again to him this time.

"Come on, why did you punch your friend to almost kill him ?" He asked fully without me guessing.

"If you have heard of what I said before, you should know, right ?" I make him remember of the words he told to Sonya an moment ago. "Frankly, I hate him, end of story !" I added to him, giving him for his great pleasure my real answer.

"Good, I know that Adler wasn't the kind of person to be friendly." He exclaimed, looking at me with his only eye remaining. "We're making progress, little but effective."

"So, this talk was to see how much I'm important, I suppose." I suggested.

"Exactly, more we learned about you, more we can help you." He reaffirmed to me and acting like Bell, I moved around to laid down on the bed, ready to look at the wall again to go to sleep. "You need to understand that your behavior against us isn't in fact helping us."

"Isn't the rules of war ?" I peaked my eyes at him, my hands on my chest. "I suppose to be an prisoner, not one of yours. I'm not an terrorist." I admitted.

"We're fighting for the right ideas and you will soon see it well again." He clenched his right fist towards me either as an threat or to give me his ideas through my head. "For now, you will be awaiting for the next test." He continued, slowly moving towards me, an deadly glare at me. "You're maybe one of us but both of us aren't best friends and I'm not intenting to change." He exclaimed in an clear voice, his hands behind his back.

"Like you wounded me." I pointed at the wound at my left arm as he looked at the knife at his vest.

"It was an mean to make you remember but I did only wounded you so I will leave these options for the moment." He told me as he start to move away to reach the door. "Your next test will start in one day, the 6th of June in the evening." He explained.

"And what it would be ?" I questioned him as he stopped moving to peak his right eye to me.

"You will see soon, Bell !" He only said to me before he could leave the cell, the door closing behind him, alone again in that room, on my bed.....

"I need to stay strong...I need to stay strong for her !"

[miraculousamara]

Adrienette AU:

Part 5a: Valentine's Day

Adrien's POV:

Miss Buster's Classroom.

I'm writing in my notebook a love poem for my... friend. Marinette.😍📝

Marinette walks into the class.

I stare at her, looking at her outfit. She's wearing a pink dress, her hair is down and she has pink shoes. And a small heart clip. 💖

"Don't stare man." Nino says

"Oops." I say 🤭

I continue writing while paying attention to Miss Bustier's lessson.

"Can anyone tell me why in most Fairytales, the prince breaks the dark spell by kissing the princess?"

"Rose." She says calling on her.

"Because love conquers hate!"🤩💖

"Correct Rose." She says

"Actually that reasoning is only exhibited in about 87% of fairytales. And it's-" Max says 🤓

"Thank you Max." Miss Bustier says

"Adrien, can you repeat what I just said?" Miss Bustier says

"Only love conquers hate, so that's why in fairytales the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess." I say

"Okay everyone, remember your homework for the weekend." Miss Bustier says

Marinette's POV:

"You coming girl?" Alya asks

"In a minute." I say

I see Adrien get up and throw away a piece of Notebook paper.

After he starts to leave the classroom, I make my way to the same trashcan.

I see Chloe and Sabrina in the doorway holding a huge poster.

"What is this?" I hear Adrien ask

"I need you to sign down here." She says

I can tell that she's up to something..

"You know that I hate signing autographs Chlo." I hear Adrien say

"That's not what this is. It's a petition. For cruelty to hamsters. Have you seen the ugly sweaters they're forced to wear, It's appalling!" She says

Adrien sighs and signs it, leaving the classroom.🤨

Chloe and Sabrina walk in seeing me grab the crumpled up piece of paper.

"Looking for dinner Dupain-Cheng?" Chloe says rudely

"Maybe she's looking for better clothes!" Sabrina says

Chloe dumps the trashcan on me.😏🗑

"Ew.." I say🤢

They walk away laughing. 😆

I pick up the trashcan remnants off of myself.

"Ew gum.." 🤢

After I pick everything up, I open the note Adrien discarded.

'Your hair is black as night, your pretty bluebell eyes, I wonder who you are underneath that strong disguise. Every day we see each other and I hope that you'll be mine, together our love could be so true, please, will you be my Valentine?"

I wonder who that could be about..

Oh! I better meet Alya out in the courtyard.

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Outside.

"What was holding you?" She asks

"I was curious about what Adrien was writing.." I say shyly 🤫

"Well let's take a look at this poem." Alya says

She reads it.

"Who do you think it's about?" I ask her

"Girl are you blind? It's obviously you." She says

"You really think so? A lot of girls have blue eyes and dark hair." I say

"But Bluebell eyes." Alya says

"You really think it could be me?!" I ask excitedly 😃

"I can't think of anyone else it could be." She says

I hug her happily.

Just then we look over and see Kim holding a beautiful broach.

Alya starts recording and runs over to him and Max.

I follow her.

"Ooh, pretty is that for Moi?" Alya says

"No, the recipient has already been determined, it's-" Max says

"Shush!" Kim says

"What if she doesn't like it?!" Kim says starting to panic 😨

"She's going to love it. She'll be ecstatic Kim!" I say 🙂

Max and Kim look at me shocked. 😲

"We haven't seen this you in at least a year. What happened?" They ask

"I started to let people in." I say not telling that it was all because of Adrien

"Since you're confident in me Marinette, I'll do it!" Kim says

"That's the spirit! No regrets!" I say

"Her route is highlighted here in yellow, yours in red. If you run at ten miles per hour you're going to gain a four and a half minute advance on her. Halt and wait here facing northwest -- the third most romantic spot in Paris." Max says 🤓

"Operation Valentine's Day is a go!"

"I better go, thanks guys!" Says Kim jogging off.

"I know someone who's good at dishing out romantic advice, but can't take it herself." Alya says

"You're right, it's time I told him how I feel." I say

"Say what?!" Alya says 😲

"I'm gonna tell Adrien how I feel.. through card form at least.." I say

"Operation Valentine's Day!"

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

In my room.

"Ugh.. I don't know what to write." I say 😫

"How about you answer his poem?" Alya says

"That's a good idea!" I say

"What do you think he means by strong disguise though?" I ask her

"I think he means behind those walls and borders you put up to protect yourself from pain." Alya says

"Oh.." I say 😢

I start writing 📝

'Your hair shines like the sun, your eyes are gorgeous green, I look at you and wonder your innermost thoughts and dreams. Yes, your Valentine I will be, our love will be so true, together for eternity, my heart belongs to you'

"Okay let's go and give him your letter!" Alya says

We run down to the bakery.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"Here's some Candy Apples girls." My father says handing them to us.

"Thank you Mr. Dupain." She says

"Thank you Papa." I say 💖

We leave and head to the Agreste Mansion.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Adrien's POV:

I continue writing on my letter.📝

"Ugh I don't know what to say." I groan 😫

"Plagg, I don't suppose you know how to write a love letter to the girl of your dreams?" I ask my Cat.

He meows and starts scarfing down some Camembert.

"I didn't think so." I say chuckling a little bit. 😄

"I don't know how to put the way she makes me feel into words.." I say sighing sadly 😢

"What's wrong sweetie?" My mother asks walking into my room.

"I'm trying to write a love letter for m-someone." I say

"It's that girl you met on your first day isn't it?" She asks

"Don't tell anyone, especially father, but yes." I say

"I don't know how to describe the way she makes me feel mom. She's amazing, even under her walls and borders she puts up to protect herself." I say 🥰😍

"You have more than just a crush on her. You're in love with her." My mother says 😀

"Yeah. I am." I say

"You may not know the right words right now. But when the time is right you will know exactly what to say and do." She says

"Thanks mom." I say

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Marinette's POV:

Put the card in the box." Alya says

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" I ask 😥

"There's only one way to find out." Alya says

"You're right, I'm not backing down now." I say putting the card in the overflowing mailbox

Then we get a text message at the same time.

"Since when does Chloe text us?" Alya says

"And even more less me." I say

"Oh no poor Kim!" I say looking at the embarrassing picture of Kim.🥺

"What a witch!" Alya says🤬

"I'm the one who told him to go for it. I didn't know that he was talking about her!" I say 😥

"Oh man, I hope Adrien doesn't do that to you." Alya says

I panic and try to get back my card. 😱

(Part 4 is below)

Credits go to the same people as before.