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[crmediagal]

Unquestionable Love: The Untold Stories - UPDATE!

Unquestionable Love: The Untold Stories

Prompt #62: A Father’s Fear

Synopsis: A suppressed memory reawakened forces Severus to confront horrifying misgivings about the future.

Excerpt:

“NO!” he roared as he came to, trembling and covered in perspiration.  

“Severus!  Severus, STOP!” he heard a familiar, take-charge voice assert over him.  Hermione’s bed-headed, tangled curls came fluttering into view, outlined by a turned-on light that shone from her nightstand on the opposite side of the bed.  A hand was pressed firmly to his chest, the other to his raised arm, gradually easing both back against his pillow.  “Easy.  Easy,” she kept reiterating to him in a soft-spoken, meditative tone, as the events from the suppressed memory—and haunting nightmare—began to recede.  “It’s me, love.  It’s me.  You’re all right.”

Severus blinked several times, caught in a whirlpool of rapid breathing and a petrified, immobile state of mind.  “Wha…?”  He slowly made eye contact with the soothing presence of his wife, whose expression looked troubled and angsty.  “Hermione,” he called out in the dark.  Despite this acknowledgement, he didn’t sound relieved.

Her warm hand switched from his arm to his right cheek, fingertips massaging rattling bone beneath clammy skin.  “Yes, sweetheart.  You’re all right now, do you hear me?”  She paused to give him time to process where he was, though Severus’s eyes remained widened and deathly afraid.  “You had a nightmare just now.”

“No…” he croaked, taking a large gulp of air and scanning the room for something out of his reach.  He quickly started to scramble out of bed and, unfortunately, slipped Hermione’s clutches.  

“Severus, what are you do—?” she pressed, startling.

“Hailey?  Hailey!” he began calling frantically, arms outstretched as he stumbled to stand upright and leave the quiet comfort of their bedroom.  “Hailey!”

“Severus, stop!” Hermione pleaded, unnerved as she, too, threw back the covers and leapt out of bed.  “You’ll wake the girls—”

“No,” he rambled on, speaking with utmost urgency and agitation. He fumbled in the darkness towards the door, reaching for the handle.  “No, no… Hailey!  Must find Hailey…  Hailey!” 

Available to read in its entirety at www.crmediagal.com…

[crmediagal]

To those who may be interested: I’ve resumed posting my WIP fic, Seeds of Redemption, at my personal website: www.crmediagal.com. I had deleted the story on fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own last year due to unnecessary negativity, so I’m happy to share that the story is back, being  revised, and updates are continuing!

* * * If you would like to receive updates and access to the story, please fill out the form on the Contact page and you’ll be granted access! * * *

Story: Seeds of Redemption Chapter 7 -  https://crmediagalhome.wordpress.com/sor-chap7/

Synopsis: The First Order may have fallen, but the Proclamation has   risen in its stead. As the galaxy is threatened by the coming of a   Second Darkness, Ben Solo must painstakingly navigate both sides, the   Dark Side and the Light. Only he is no longer alone in this fight, with far more at stake to lose than he ever would have dreamed. Rated M, AU, Post-TRoS.

Excerpt from Chapter 7:

“Ami,” Ben tried to reach her speedily, speaking in a hushed, urgent tone, “please, don’t be frightened. It’s your father; it’s me. I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

“NO! You – You – You’re him!” Her voice suddenly shattered and it took all of Ben’s willpower not to rush at his eldest and scoop her up in his arms. “All this – this time, you – you were him!” Tears prickled her eyes, which frantically darted back and forth between his distinguishable face—a face she had thought to be warm and wonderful and loving all her life—and the bone-chilling reality that was Kylo Ren, its identity slung beneath his arm. Her mind was scrambling to make sense of how the two men could possibly be the same individual and Ben noted the immense mental struggle, wanting nothing more than to alleviate her pain and confusion.

“Ami, it’s all a cover—”

“BUT IT’S YOU!” she shrilled, pointing at the mask determinedly. “You’re… You’re Kylo Ren!” Her mouth drew open in shock and dismay, and the sore expression that soon took shape left Ben broken. “How could you?”

The question was small, dreadfully quiet and fragile, like a star burning out the last of its light. In that moment, Ben could only stare, observe the silent tears trickling down Amidala’s handsome face; at the stabbing sense of betrayal being projected in her wounded, watery eyes. A combination of reds and blues danced before his sight, playing on his daughter’s anguish and injury at being so horribly deceived.

And she has been betrayed; they all have been, Ben lamented to himself, thinking painfully on his two other children whom he had yet to disclose this identity to.

How was he to go forward from here? It had been absurd, and yet, absolutely crucial to Ben to reveal himself to the children when they were taken hostage. Rey had been reluctant with his decision but supported him, nevertheless; he only wished she could be here now, occupying this cell with him at this very moment instead of being locked up where she was, to help their daughter better understand.

Get them out of here, his conscience reminded him, willing him not to crumble. Get them home. They have to trust you.

Revealing the face behind Kylo Ren hadn’t been in Ben’s plans, but with his wife and children unexpectedly snatched by the Proclamation, a dire situation forced the double agent’s hand. It was the only way to gain their confidence—or so he had told Rey when he had suggested the idea—and he was forced to keep reiterating that end goal to himself before entering Amidala’s cell.

He had thought Amidala might take the news better than the younger ones, though, and if this was the gut-wrenching reaction he was to expect from the littler ones he so loved as well, how could he possibly tell Han and Astrid, too?

Ben clenched his jaw and finally replied, his voice strained and subdued, “I… I did what I had to do, Ami.”

Amidala’s brow furrowed, not following. “So…you became this – this monster? You became Commander of the Proclamation? You joined the Dark Side? How could you, Dad?”

“Ami—”

“They’re evil! YOU‘RE EVIL!”

Brought up short by that acid remark, Ben saw no point in contending it. His daughter may be young and naïve about most things, but she was correct on this one: he was evil. Well, Kylo Ren was epitome of everything worth despising.

“I…” Ben started to explain, but the words he needed were nowhere to be found. He struggled to keep his gaze steady and on Amidala; to keep his mind on the intent. “You’re right, little star,” he bemoaned and slightly slumped his shoulders, “Kylo Ren is evil but… But I’m not. I promise you, I’m not…”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” she choked, pushing her back farther into the corner.

“Ami, what I do I do to protect you, your sister, your brother, and your mother—”

“Protect me?” Amidala startled Ben by cracking up. The laughter was crazed rather than whimsical and childlike, unlike the sound that normally made the reformed Jedi’s heart lighter to hear. “By plotting Darkness and destroying planets and—”

“Ami, listen—”

“—and killing any of those who stand in the Proclamation’s path?” she screamed over him. “Kylo Ren is an enemy of the Resistance and a murderer! YOU‘RE A MURDERER!”

“I’m not that person, Ami!” Ben beseeched before going abruptly silent, barely able to utter a soft-pleading, “Not… Not anymore.” He lowered his gaze at last, unable to bear the hate and resentment swarming in Amidala’s judgmental eyes.

Available to read in its entirety at www.crmediagal.com