#if you’re a guy and you wash dishes at Olive Garden you are still a scullery maid

[sassmill]

Let’s all start applying Victorian domestic service job titles to our modern positions. Like. Tell me that “assistant manager” is not fundamentally the same as “maid of all work.”

[beautifulbuckys]

Cleaning week

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N

A/N: This is for the wonderful @stanclub‘s 3k celebration! Congrats to Amanda, she deserves it!

With every movement of your arms, the sweater covering your torso grew itchier. The olive green dyed wool rubbed upon your arm, causing red patches to litter your arms. Despite the uncomfortable factors of your sweater, you loved it. The crisp fall air ventilated the heavy sweater. It was warm, yet cool simultaneously. The sweater's color was unique, and fun to wear. The best part about it, however, was that it was a Christmas gift from Bucky.

Your boyfriend was currently inside washing the dishes from your breakfast. You could still taste the lingering cinnamon on your tongue. From where you were standing, it wasn't hard to notice how rough Bucky was being while scrubbing off cooked on dough. The cinnamon rolls Bucky made were always your favorite. It was a morning surprise for you.

"Baby," Bucky whispered as he kissed your temples. "I need you to wake up before breakfast gets cold,"

"Okay," You mumbled, opening your eyes slowly. You saw his gorgeous face hovering over yours. Strands of brown hair fell from his face, framing it perfectly. His blue eyes shone in the morning light. You saw the strands of dark blue pop from the light blue. His eyes were an ocean, like ones you'd visit in the summer. The oceans on the beaches Tony would bring you to. They were the eyes that reminded you of team bonding at the poolside. Those eyes were the eyes you'd look into when you were scared. They were the eyes that loved you.

You eventually got up. It felt like forever to you, sluggishly arising from your soft bed. Your feet landed on the chilly wood floors. You didn't feel like getting dressed, walking into the kitchen as you were. As soon as you entered the room, delicious sents flooded your senses. The perfect balance of sweet and spicy was engulfing the room.

Over breakfast, the two of you discussed chores. You family was coming down for the weekend to visit. They were meeting Bucky for the first time, it was a big deal. They were a little weary when you told them you were moving in with Bucky, reasonably. They'd never met him, so they were scared for your safety. So ever since the week prior, Bucky has been in cleaning mode. He vacuumed once a day, which was typically a weekly chore. Bucky cleaned out the fridge, something you hadn't done in months. The countertops were clean after every meal. Every shelf was dusted and rearranged.

You tasked yourself to rake the leaves, desiring to be done before the weekend. Your Dad was a garden guy. He took good care of his lawn and garden. You figured you'd spare Bucky the stress, assigning yourself the chore. You understand gardening, for the most part.  It was a menial task, but not the worst. The bright orange and bold gold of the leaves surrounding you was calming. The small crunch they made when you stepped on them was entertaining. However, it was more alarming when you heard the 'entertaining' crunch approaching behind you.

"Surprise!" Bucky shouted, throwing leaves at you when you turned around. The leaves fluttered to the floor, a number of them sticking to your sweater.

"Bucky! I just raked this whole area," You scolded. You weren't genuinely upset. It was more of an 'I'm annoyed with you but you're too cute to be mad at' type of scold. It was a type of scold that Bucky earned a lot. You'd make sure he heard you playfully scoff when he brought Sam in the house after 10. Bucky felt the eye roll if he ever left his dirty clothes in the bathroom. He was used to it, but it was still effective in proving your annoyance.

Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your nose. You could smell the spice in his breath, not that it's a bad thing.

"Sorry hon', didn't mean to. Need help?" Bucky asked with a grin on his face, placing another kiss on your forehead. He must've gotten a leaf in your hair, you felt his metal hand move from your waist and pluck something off your head.

You shook your head, denying Bucky's help. The bags under his eyes signified to you he was tired. He'd been tuckering himself out the past week. Bucky denied himself breaks while cleaning around the house. You couldn't remember a time he sat down for more than three minutes.

Bucky tilted his head at your denial. "Mmm, too bad," Bucky stated, departing you to find another rake in your shed. You giggled, getting back to work.

He soon returned with a taller rake than the one you had, a worn-down red handle to match some of the leaves. He whistled, raking leaves into one big pile. You two would talk every once in a while, making small talk. You guys didn't mind the silence, but small talk helped get the job done faster.

"If you could only have one color apple, which one would it be?" Bucky asked, raking around a small tree in your backyard.

"By color, do you mean like red, green and yellow?"  You shouted, being about fifty feet away from him, closer to the house.

"Yeah!" He replied, pushing a mixture of dead grass, twigs and orange leaves into his pile.

"Hm, probably yellow. They're sweet but not too sweet. They're not sour either, which is perfect!" You added, plucking a few leaves that found their way on your sweater, off. There were a few on your jeans too. You bent over, taking two off the knees of your distressed jeans.

Bucky made a disgusted face. His nose scrunched up, his eyebrows furrowing.  "Yellow? Seriously? Is it too late to move out?! Those are the grossest ones, Y/N! Green is the way to go, I'm a sour apple kind of guy,"

You chuckled, resuming raking the spacious yard.

This apple conversation later evolved. Who knew?

"Okay, Buck, if you like green apples so much, do you think green apple candy is good?" You ask, relatively closer to the brunette.

"Green apple candy is the worst, Y/N!" Bucky responded, with a playful mock of disgust. "It's too sweet. A green apple is sour, it should stay sour!"

"Bucky, it's sweet because it's candy!" You suggested. You knew that Bucky knew that's why it was sweet, but it's all for the sake of conversation.

Bucky shook his head, circling the tree to rid of the leaves at the base.

Other conversations arose, he questioned you about modern technology. You quizzed him about 40's music, a thing you loved to talk about. Bucky smiled every time you asked if he heard a specific song. He loved how infatuated you were with his time and pop culture. It was something admirable about you.

"Did you hear the song 'Rum and Coca-Cola', Buck?"

"Who was it by?" Bucky questioned. Maybe if he heard the artist name, it would ring a bell.

"The Andrews Sisters," You replied, picking up a few larger sticks and adding them to a nearby pile. It was in your head that you could have a small fire when your parents arrive.

Bucky shook his head with a small smile. "No, I don't think so. I might need to hear it to see if I know it. You can't rely on my old brain to remember something like that,"

"Whatever old man," You laugh, throwing some leaves at Bucky. He rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at you. He threw leaves back, which was a bad idea. You two had ditched the rakes and were now chucking small piles of leaves at each other. The you in ten minutes will be so mad.

Raking took hours. It's closer to three o-clock when you step back to admire your work. The yard was essentially barren! Bucky was going around, picking up a few strays from the ground and placing them in a plastic bag. You guys made three big piles. One was near the shed, and it was slightly larger than the third step of your patio. Another was near the small tree in the back of your yard. The last pile was in the dead center of your yard. Bucky held the plastic bag in his hand, waving when he noticed you were watching him. You grinned, returning the wave and walking up the patio steps.

"Where 'ya going, dollface?" Bucky asked, sneaking up behind you and placing the bag on your grill.

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I was wishing to go inside for a minute. Why do you ask, my love?" He beamed at the pet name.

"You're missing out on the best part of leave raking, Y/N!" Bucky sighed, planting his hands on your hips. "The only thing more fun than raking leaves is jumping in them once you're finished ranking 'em!" He let go of you, finishing his sentence. He pulled himself away from your arms. Bucky stood still waiting for your response.

"James," You warned. This provoked Bucky to depart from the old, wooden patio. Watching Bucky sprint to one of the piles was entertaining. His hair was flying behind him, the brown locks blending in with the dying grass surrounding you. You observed him barreling towards the pile near the tree. He jumped in, making leaves float above the pile, and settle on the ground and back in the pile. Your jaw dropped, he had the nerve to do that. "Bucky, what the hell?!" You watched Bucky's face. He had the widest grin on his face, he looked happy.

You sauntered over to the pile. You weren't angry, more amused than anything else. "You've got some balls to do that. We've been out here since nine!" You laughed, with a bit of annoyance and a smidge of happiness.

"Dollface, I pinky promise on Steve's life that after we're done, we'll clean it up. Hell, I'll clean it up!" Bucky mused.

You had an idea. You're gonna scare the shit out of Bucky Barnes. You shook your head no, turning on your heel. You walked about 10 steps towards the house until you turned back around and booked it towards the pile. You leaped into the bundle of leaves, making a small flurry of leaves float around the two of you. Bucky smirked, realizing you hopped on top of his chest. You giggled, leaning down and placing a kiss on the lips.

"Wanna get off of me, babe? I wanna show you the coolest thing ever." Bucky said, looking at you with admiration. His smile was wide. His white teeth popped out from the warm colors surrounding his face. The ocean that was his eyes stuck out from the oranges and reds underneath him. Everything about this moment was perfect, but you had to get up.

You lifted yourself off of Bucky, laughing as you did so. You wiped a few golden leaves that stuck to your sweater. Bucky made a hand motion for you to get out of the way, so you took a few steps backward.

Right before your eyes, you saw Bucky Barnes, your boyfriend, no a backflip into the pile of leaves.

"Holy shit!" You shouted, immediately covering your mouth in case any neighbors heard. It was too late if they did hear, though. You felt your eyes widen at the sight of Bucky's trick. He got up from the leaves, chuckling. His hair was full of orange, yellow and red leaves, it was like a wig.

"You're going to be the death of me, babe," You deadpan, plucking the leaves out of Bucky's hair. He mumbles something about you loving it while you take the remaining leaves.

"You, mister," You point to Bucky, "Are going to rake this up. I, Y/N am going to go make us some glasses of tea so we can relax" You check your watch. "I'll probably get a start on dinner too,"

It was nearing five now, by the time he finishes and dinner was done it would probably be six. If you add a shower into the equation, you two would be dressed in PJs and watching a Halloween movie at eight-thirty. Better start now.

Bucky nods, understanding what you're saying. He made the mess, he's going to pick it up. "What's for dinner?"

You start walking away, pulling a leaf from underneath your belt. "You'll find out when you come inside, leaf boy,"

Bucky shook his head as you walk away, chuckling at himself. You're going to be a tough cookie after all he made you deal with today. For all he knows, you probably have leaves in your sweater. What he'd give to find out.

Bucky was almost done when you hung out of the kitchen window.

"Dinner time!" You cheer out from the warmth of your house.

Bucky came running in, stomping off his boots in case they got mud in them. You giggled at the simple act, he'd been doing that ever since you educated him on mud tracks. He untied them and arrived in the kitchen, sliding a bit on the floor due to his mix and matched socks. He reached over you to grab two paper plates from a shelf and placed them on the counter. Did he smell the lovely smell of tomato and cheese, plus an interesting vegetable smell? It was pizza night.

"Looks amazing, babe," Bucky says as he kisses a kiss to your shoulder. You mutter a thank you while cutting out pieces for the two of you. They weren't perfect slices, some of the triangles being smaller than others. Though, it was hard to deny that it looked terrible.

The pizza was a hit. Bucky had almost all of it. He would've eaten all of it if you'd let him. However, you needed food to eat. The night concluded in watching a movie on the couch. Tonight was your choice, and you wanted to watch something spooky. 25 minutes into 'Beetlejuice' and your pajama-clad boyfriend was passed out. You heard the wind blowing when realization hit you like a truck.

You never put the leaves in the bag.

It was windy.

You'd need to do this all over again tomorrow.

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

Romano’s Little Mix-up

Main Characters: Romano/Crimson, Veneziano, Lorelye (OC) Mentioned: Germany/Midsommer, Andromeda (OC), Annalise (OC), England

Synopsis: Romano makes a mess in the kitchen, and Veneziano is very worried for his brother’s sanity. 

The Southern Italian mindlessly tossed and stirred the sauce in the pot, humming a tune to himself. He was with his brother today, working on cleaning the house since their boss would be visiting at some point this week and they didn’t want everything to be a mess.  Romano hadn’t even thought about the meeting with his boss honestly. It didn’t bother him how his boss saw him.. If he was honest, he only really cared about how one person saw him right now. Not that he’d give that information away to anyone. He was honestly having a bit of fun being quiet about it.. Like a secret getaway between the two, despite some annoying loud pushy thick eyed moths trying to fly in and ruin their garden--

……. 

Wait.. where had he been going with that thought? He had a point… 

“I thought it was a nice little metaphor, Crimson!” he heard a cheer over his shoulder. Ah right, Annalise was away today so she had sent a small quieter fae in her place. He believed she had introduced herself as Loralye. She was smaller, buried in layers of soft pink petals with long peach colored hair. A small pair of glasses on the brim of her nose.. How did she get them so small, he couldn’t help but to wonder. She was a gentle one that had taken to Germany’s company he’d noticed, or since they had met in the dream, would she be closer to---

He shook his head, shaking away his thoughts. “Thank you.” 

“What was that?” he heard from across the room. Romano turned, seeing his brother had come in, seemingly finished with other room. “Did you say something?”

“Huh? Oh! No, just thinking out loud.” The Southern Italian said, turning back to his cooking. 

“Okay…” Veneziano said with a worried look before moving to slice up some bread for lunch. 

Veneziano had noticed his brother had been acting strange lately, strange in ways he couldn’t fully articulate. Strange in ways no one else would understand except perhaps Spain since he had lived with the Italian as well so he would know how the man acts when he’s most relaxed. But this? Something about this was just wrong. And it had been wrong for some time now. 

His brother just tended to leave without saying anything, only to come back in the later hours or the next day or not at all. And when he tried to inquire on where his brother had gone, the man would dodge the question until Veneziano gave in. 

He seemed giddier, he snapped less at people and tended to just smile more. He just seemed more at ease. He was taking more siestas, which wasn’t surprising but he had found Romano tangled in one of the garden’s bushes one morning after he apparently had sleep walked out to the garden! And he was always muttering to himself! Veneziano could never pick up on what he was saying, only a few words on occasion but it was like he was being followed by someone or something-- he never stopped talking to them. 

And it didn’t help that his brother and England seemed to be almost at one another’s throats… especially with this strangeness that had been going around as of late. Maybe that had something to do with Romano’s behavior..? He didn’t know.

Veneziano was worried, really worried about his brother. He should be happy that his brother seemed more open and relaxed but where was he running off to? Who is he whispering to? Was he going crazy?

Romano’s humming brought the northern Italian out of his thoughts. His brother seemed distant again, acting on autopilot as he cooked. Something about his eyes seemed off.. wrong. He couldn’t put his finger on it but from here they almost looked like they were tinted… But before he could investigate that any further he noticed his brother grab something by mistake. The Italian must have been reaching for the olive oil but grabbed the dish soap instead without paying attention. He expected his brother to see the mistake and correct it, but that didn’t seem to be the case. 

“Romano!”

The Southern Italian snapped up, having been engrossed in a conversation with Loralye about what the lady liked to do when his brother had shouted. He paused, turning back to him. What was up his ass-- he wasn’t being too loud was he-?

“Si?”

“What are you doing?”

“Making Chicken Cacciatore? Did I not tell you I was making dinner?”

“Not that..” Veneziano sighed. “Look at what’s in your hand right now.”

Romano gave his brother a confused look before turning back to look at the dish and the bottle in his hand, which was not what he intended to grab. The tomato red cacciatore he had been making was now an off blue becoming faintly purple as he realized he had grabbed the dish soap instead. 

“Oh… shit.” he paused, sitting the bottle down. “I didn’t realize.”

Romano felt a vague sense of embarrassment, and it didn’t help as he could feel the tight grip on his shirt from the small fae on his shoulders and her profuse apologies in his ear. Veneziano frowned deeply, his worry only getting stronger as his brother looked more shocked than he should have been. Normally his brother would have tried to cover for his embarrassment, but he was silent after his realization, not a single excuse or angry cuss. 

“Fratello are you okay? You’re not one to not pay attention while you cook.”

“Si, si, I’m fine.” he sighed, turning off the stove and moving to take the pan to the trash. Welp, there goes that idea. “Just had a lot on my mind, it’s alright, I think we still have some things left in the fridge. I’ll just make something else.”

He could hear soft apologies in his ear and his rambles to his brother were cut off by soft reassurances to the fae on his shoulder. His brother frowned as Romano went to dump the ruined food.

“Are you sure okay?” 

“I’m fine Vene really I just wasn’t paying attention--”

Romano’s half-assed excuses were cut off by a hollow slam near the window, causing both of the Italians to scream and cuss, the southern Italian dropping the pan in the process. The two’s eyes whipped to the window, and Romano could swear he almost thought he saw a flash of red.. Or was it blue? Orange? It was a blend of color that seemed to be gone as quick as it came. 

“Wha-What was that!?” Veneciano cried, having ducked under the table and was now just barely peeking over the edge. 

“I don’t know, maybe a bird?” Romano said, reaching down to pick up the pan, sighing at the soapy sauce that had splattered on the floor. 

“That must have been a huge bird!” 

“I don’t know fratello- maybe the neighbors were playing ball or with their frisbees again?”

“And it didn’t shatter the glass?”

“We do have stronger glass in our windows remember?”

The northern Italian finally felt comfortable enough to come out from under the table, sighing as he did. 

“I guess you’re right.” 

“Hey, let’s focus on dinner for now, si?” Romano chuckled. “The cacciatore's a bust but maybe we can go out? Or we can go raid Germany’s house, that guy makes enough for an army.”

Veneziano almost agreed on instinct, before he stopped, turning toward his brother who had moved to the sink, filling the pan with water so he could wash it when it had cooled down. Romano’s eyes were zoned out a bit, and almost seemed darker again. And Veneziano got-- a bad feeling slowly crawling up his back.. 

“Romano?”

“Si?”

“You want to go to Germany’s?”

“That’s…  what I said?” The southern Italian looked up from the dishes, giving his brother a confused look. The confusion in the Italian only rose as at the shocked expression Veneziano was giving him, Romano couldn’t help but crack a but of a smirk. He laughed a little, drying his hands before moving to the hall, patting his brother on the shoulder as he went out of the kitchen. His brother was think way too hard about this. It was just a visit, it wasn’t the end of the world or anything. Veneziano quickly followed after his brother down the hall to the front door. 

“I know that’s what you said but since when were you on talking terms with Germany? I thought you hated him?!” He didn't receive a response as the southern Italian went to slip on his coat.

“We talked some things out, he’s actually kind of fun to talk to you know?” He tossed his brother his coat, who almost didn’t catch it. “I can see why you’re friends.” 

Veneciano was speechless, and Romano continued. “You’d be surprised we get along pretty well-- I was an ass about it at first but I really shouldn’t have been you know?  But he can be surprisingly patient…”

Veneciano was in shock- he couldn’t respond. He just stared. Romano pocketed his house keys, one of the keys with a blue star keychain seeming new. He leaned on the door frame, looking toward his brother who had only half of his coat on one shoulder. Veneziano was staring at him like a fish out of water.

“Are you coming or not?” He got no response. Romano gave his brother a confused look before shrugging. “Uh, catch up if you want then, I guess.”

Romano walked out the door, double checking his pockets for his keys, since he had a habit of doing that as of late. He was sure his brother would catch up eventually, neither of them were the type to skip out on free food.

Veneziano stood there in shock, eventually stumbling back a bit before catching himself. This- couldn’t be his brother right? He was so happy to hear that Romano and Germany were getting along but-- WHEN had this happened!? What did he miss!? Surely Germany would have talked to him about this but neither of them had mentioned it!? Not even once!?

He knew he hasn’t been talking to them as much as usual but just how much had he missed--!? Did Germany have something to do with where Romano had been disappearing to in the evenings? Why had neither of them said anything? It didn’t make any sense! Why was all of this happening now? Did this have something to do with why his brother had been in such a good mood??

Meanwhile Romano had decided to take his dear sweet time on his walk, his brother would surely catch up. He leaned back and forth, humming a song to himself he had heard in a dream. It had been quite an earworm to him really, he just couldn’t get it out of his mind. 

“He sure seems surprised.” the small fushia fae remarked, Romano rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms, folding them behind his head as the fae fluttered beside him. At least she could see it too-- It was honestly making him feel self conscious with all the gawking Vene had been doing at him. It wasn’t that crazy right?

“You can say that again, the guy gets on my case about not getting along with Germany for so long but when I say I’m getting on better footing with him he acts like I’ve grown a second head or something!” He complained, the fae tilted her head in confusion. 

“Germany?” 

“Ah, Midsommer.” he corrected. He had noticed Loralye didn’t seem to know their names out here and so he was constantly correcting himself on which one he needed to use. It was confusing- it was so much easier to just go by one in his opinion. But he was stuck with two for most of them right now. She seemed to light up in recognition, which makes sense seeing as she really seemed to favor the German. But she still seemed confused, but much more chipper. 

“Oooh! But why wouldn’t you get along?” She asked. Romano threw his hands up in the air in annoyance. 

“Exactly what I was thinking!” the Italian remarked, sighing. His brother just didn’t get it. It wasn’t anything crazy. Him and Germany were just getting along that was all. It wasn’t the end of the world. He and Germany had gotten along for years and years and he hadn’t made it some headline to gawk at. Sure, he had disapproved, but hey he can admit he was a bit quick to judge. He could only imagine what others would say if this got out. Just thinking about all the drama made him roll his eyes. He was exhausted at just the thought. Man, he wanted a nap right now-- and some wine. 

“This is why me and him want to keep this to ourselves…” Romano muttered. “We don’t want everyone making a big deal out of this. It’s not a big deal…”

Just as he was about to change the subject and let Lorelye finish her engaging story she had been telling earlier about another fae in their group named Andromeda and a prank she had played on one named Olimpia, he heard a whine and a cry of his name from over his shoulder. Looks like his brother finally decided to catch up. 

“Fratello! Wait uuuup!” Romano couldn’t help but to crack a smirk again. 

“You’re coming?” he called over his shoulder. Part of him was huffy, it would have been nice to be able to dine with just the two of them, but he had offered. So he set himself up for that. Maybe another night…. Or maybe he could convince his brother to go home early and just stay the night. He wouldn’t mind either option honestly. 

“Si! And you both have a lot of explaining to do!”

The southern Italian groaned in frustration, slapping himself in the forehead. Of course he wanted an explanation. Everyone seemed to want that no adays.

 “Great, you sound like the caterpillar fuckface..” he muttered bitterly. 

This was going to be a long evening...

[uschi-the-listener]

Smoke Alarm Stories

During the day, it’s a quiet place, even though it’s a huge apartment complex, with buildings from A to G, all surrounding courtyards, and surrounded by parking lots and carports. When the kids are in school and the parents are at work or out shopping or doing whatever they do from dawn to sunset, it’s quiet.

Until the smoke alarm starts.

Every day, sometime between early morning and late afternoon, and occasionally in the evening, a smoke alarm goes off. Nobody stops it. It’s annoying, and once in a while, somebody can be heard yelling insanely at it, but it goes off once or twice a day, and it seems to be coming from the same place. An upstairs apartment, in building E.

The maintenance guys and the gardeners shake their heads and laugh. The apartment manager worries, when she hears it, but hesitates to intrude. Nobody smells any smoke. No flames are visible. Everything seems to be okay, but the manager worries. It’s part of the job.

)0(

Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter One

The sofa will never be the same again, and the smoke alarm was no help at all.

Fatima Aziz shuffles from the kitchen to the living room, to the bathroom, to the bedroom, all the time carrying on a conversation with herself about her plans for the day. She is 97 years old and has seen more of the world than anyone she knows. She is entitled to talk to herself while she carries out her routine chores and decides what to make for the momentous occasion coming up.

Her relatives are coming for a visit day after tomorrow, at least the ones living in the area. She lives a block from the madrassa and two blocks (“Uphill! It’s why I’m so old”,) from the mosque. Three of her sons, with their wives, live within a few miles. Her grandchildren live in the city, but that’s only about 40 miles away, and they will bring her (“Beautiful! And smart! Every one of them a Grade-A student and a hard worker!”)Great-grandchildren with them. Her daughter lives in New York City and has plans to visit by herself next winter, but she will not be here for the party.

So all the cooking is for Fatima; she would never ask her daughters-in-law to help, though they will probably bring along sweets or some sort of American food. They said not to bother, but Fatima knows what that means. (“Don’t bother! I bother. I will bother. I feed my guests; I am a good woman and I always will be while there is breath in my body and I have my hands and feet. Don’t bother…humph.”) She wants to make a lot of food, and she’s always been an excellent cook, but she is aware that she isn’t as strong as she used to be, that she tends to be a bit forgetful (“There’s a lot to forget! Insha’Allah, you should live so long in my head!”) so she’s thinking a few really good dishes that everybody loves, in large quantities.

Fatima made a huge bowl of Khyar bi Laban the night before, with her own homemade yogurt and the sweet little Persian cucumbers from the Arabic market around the corner. The hardest part of that project was getting down the steps and back up them again with the groceries. She also made enough taboule for about 50 people and started making maḥshī waraq ‘inab, with as many grape leaves as she could get on short notice. The olive oil and rice had been gifts from her oldest son, so she used minced lamb meat instead of the rather fatty hamburger meat from the local supermarket because he loves lamb and isn’t fond of beef. The pita breads she would make at the last minute, as many as she could in the stupid electric oven in the tiny apartment kitchen. They would wait until tomorrow.

Today, Fatima is making the baba ganoush: she has four large eggplants and plenty of garlic and olive oil and tahini, and everything else she needs to make a large quantity. The only problem is the stupid electric stove. You can bake an eggplant in the oven, or roast it on top of the nasty little burners on top, but it never turns out right and doesn’t get the smoky flavor grilling gives it; plus, those burners make it stick like glue and are hard to clean, and a lot of the best part gets wasted. These American stoves are for children and newlywed wives who know nothing about real cooking.

But Fatima has a little secret weapon: a tiny oil lamp filled with good olive oil that she can set on the table to cook the eggplants, one by one, each stuck on a long fork. After the skin is a little charred, the babyish oven can be put to use, finishing the job. It’s preheating now, and the heat feels good in the tiny kitchen. Fatima rolls up her sleeves and leans next to the oven for a moment to feel the heat in her bones, then reaches deep into the little cupboard under the sink for her oil lamp and a box of wooden matches.

To be safe, Fatima removed the linen cloth from her living room table, then set the little oil lamp on it near the edge. She knelt next to it, lit it with a match, and then began holding the first eggplant in the flame. It was going to take a long time, but some things just do. She held it there, supporting one arm with the other propped under her wrist, and slowly turned every part of the eggplant she could reach in the flame. As it started to char, the eggplant began to smell lovely, and Fatima was pulled back into her childhood, watching her mother char the eggplants on her own flame, on a grill in the courtyard, and smelling that delicious, smoky, fruity eggplant smell. When the first one was done, she set it on a hot tray in the oven and started the next one.

Halfway finished with the fourth eggplant, Fatima’s arms begin to wobble a little. Her muscles are tired. The eggplant dips a little too close to the little lamp, and when she jerks it back up, her sleeve bumps the lamp and it falls over, spilling flaming olive oil onto the table. A few large drops splatter onto the sofa cushions where they ignite instantly.

Fatima quickly squashes out and mops up the flaming oil on the table with the linen scarf she had moved earlier, then she leaps up, as well as a 97-year-old woman can leap, and pulls the afghan from the back of the sofa. She begins to beat at the flames on the sofa cushions with the afghan, effectively fanning the flames higher.

The smoke alarm begins to scream as black smoke belches from the synthetic fabric and foam rubber. Fatima steps back, finds a tall floor vase full of flowers and water—and douses the lowest part of the flame, which puts it out. She stands, shaking, and notes that the party will likely have to be based in the kitchen and dining room. She glares at the smoke alarm, which is on the ceiling, and too far away to be easily deactivated.

Muttering curses at the useless alarm, Fatima looks around the room, and then picks up the eggplant, which lies forgotten on her ruined table. Thankfully, the final eggplant appears to be done, unharmed by the disaster that took place over the course of only a few minutes.

Fatima carries it into the kitchen, places it with its brothers, turns off the oven, and collapses into the armchair at the head of the dining room table. As the alarm continues to screech, Fatima’s head nods, and she falls asleep with her head back and her mouth open.

It’s been a rough day so far.

 )0(

Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter Two

One minute, I’m looking at what was supposed to be a box full of free kittens—but turned out to be 3 or 4 grubby little stuffed animals with an iPod playing kitten noises: What A Rip-Off!—in the back of the van of a fat old guy who works in the basement of the school, and the next, I’m waking up on a dirty carpet, staring at an eye with running mascara, smushed eye shadow, and maybe a bruise above the eyebrow. I can’t move much. My hands are behind me, and when I pull on them, my feet move. It’s weird and I wiggle to see how far I can move. Not far at all.

I can’t breathe through my nose, and I can hear some kind of clogged drain or something, only with a beat, like, skraaaaz, honk, skraaaaz, and honk. It dawns on me that the eye is mine, reflected on some kind of flat metal thing, and the sound is the fat guy, snoring. I’m not allowed to wear eye makeup, but oh well. I thought I’d have time to wash it off before Mom got home. I don’t even care now. I don’t have any clothes on, and my body feels all dirty and sticky and I hurt all over and my stomach feels all woozy.

People are always telling you never to walk home from school by yourself, but nobody ever tells you what you’re supposed to do when you have a serious argument with your friends almost before you’re off the campus, and you have to walk home alone. We only live 6 ½ blocks from the school, which is why I don’t have a carpool or a bus or some kind of parent pick-up time. This is perfectly normal. It’s a suburb, not like New York or L.A. or anything.

I think if it ever happens again, I’m going to just stay at the school and call somebody. I am never getting into this kind of trouble again. Cross my heart. Never.

So, I’m looking and listening and trying to move, and trying to sort out what exactly is going on, when I stretch back and feel what I’m tied up with. It’s zip-ties. I read a thing last week on Pinterest about escaping from them by wiggling a certain way and pinching my hands together. I’m trying to look backwards into my brain for the videos on the website, so I can do it. The guy on the video made it look so easy! Trust me, it isn’t. And it hurts.

Fortunately for me, my hands were crossed. It’s easier to get out if you can squeeze your top thumb out first, then the rest of your hand will follow, then the other one just sits there with an ugly bracelet on. It hurts, and I have some sore spots from doing it, but it got me out. That video maybe saved my life, so I want to advertise for that guy. His website is here: http://www.itstactical.com/skillcom/lock-picking/how-to-escape-from-zip-ties/. I looked it up. It’s only fair.

So, anyway, I get my hands out, then my feet out, and that guy is still asleep on the couch in his socks and grey old holey underwear. It’s disgusting and I almost gag. I discover that I’ve been lying under a glass and chrome coffee table with my nose up against the table leg. But there isn’t any time to think about that, and I want my stuff and I want to leave right now. I can see my backpack in the corner behind the front door, but I don’t see my clothes anywhere. I don’t want to look around, because it’s gross and I feel like screaming and panicking and crying. I think I’m crying, but I don’t have time for that, so I tiptoe into the hallway toward the bedroom and see some of my clothes on the messy, dirty bed. I snatch up my jeans and tee shirt and I can’t find any of my underwear or my socks, but my shoes are half under the bed, so I resign myself to putting them on without socks and not wearing underwear.

I hurt. It hurts to zip up the jeans and I feel like my legs aren’t working right. But I get dressed fast and stumble silently (I hope) to the front door which is not only locked, there is a hasp thingy and a padlock down by the floor. I go to the patio door: same thing. The windows are closed and locked. I go back to the bedroom and see the ugly old fat guy’s ugly old dirty jeans and there is a big ring of keys attached to the belt. I yank them loose and sneak, fast as I can, back to the door. I’m trying not to jingle the keys, but they have to make some noise while I’m trying to find the right key, and there are a lot of them, most of them looking exactly the same, with MASTER printed on them, and my hands are shaking like I’m diseased or something.

I hear the honking stop and the guy shift on the couch. I freeze. The snoring starts up again, even louder. I let my breath out. I’m thinking this guy has some kind of sleeping sickness, or maybe he’s drunk or on drugs or something. Anyway, I have to GET OUT! I consider banging on the door and yelling for help, but I can see how that could go very, very wrong. So I fumble with the keys some more for a minute while I think about what else I can do.

I’m looking around while I think, and I see the smoke alarm. If I set something on fire, maybe the firemen will come and let me out! I look around, and there isn’t much that burns. Lots of beer cans and vodka bottles. A plastic pretzel bag. Some dirty dishes and a leather-looking overnight bag. Some crappy plastic-and-metal furniture.

Suddenly I remember that one of the reasons my friends wouldn’t walk with me is I bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. They said I was disgusting and immoral and that I might as well be buying heroin. I was mad because a few days before they were talking about having boyfriends some day and if they smoked, it would be okay with them. I wanted to try them because my dad was a smoker, according to my mom, and I thought maybe I would grow up to be like him. So I wanted to try them. But now, I just had this unopened pack of Disgusting Immoral Heroin sticks in my backpack, and an evil lighter to light them with. If I could blow a bunch of smoke at the smoke alarm, maybe somebody would come! I didn’t care if I got caught with the cigarettes; I just wanted to be OUT OF THERE before that nasty old guy woke up.

I unzipped the backpack as quietly as I could, and dug down deep where the pack of cigarettes was hiding. My hands were sweaty, so they slipped away from me for a minute, but I got them and tore them open with my teeth, and instantly dropped them. The lighter was there, too, and I grabbed it and held the cigarette the way I saw the lady outside by the pool at our apartment hold hers, then tried to light it. It charred a little, but eventually a wisp of smoke came out. I went over by the kitchen, where the alarm was high up on the wall, and held the cigarette up as high as I could, standing on tiptoe, almost to where it would have touched the plastic of the alarm case, if I were about 3 inches taller.

Nothing happened.

I sucked on the cigarette, but coughed, and blew a big cloud of smoke at the alarm. It didn’t help. I felt woozy and sick, and I had to hold my breath and swallow until the cough went away. My eyes were already watering, and they watered some more. Normally, I would have given up right there, but then I thought, well, it’s smoke. Just not enough smoke.

So I lit another and held them both up. Nothing. And another, and another. Finally, I had the whole pack lit and clenched in one hand while I steadied myself on the wall with the other.

At long last, the stupid alarm got the hint and started beeping, almost too loud to stand next to it, but I had to stand next to it if this was going to work!

And nobody came. Nobody knocked. No firemen. No neighbors. I heard some guy yelling SHUT IT OFF ASSHOLE and banging from below, but when I yelled back, HELP ME!, he didn’t answer and probably didn’t hear me. The next thing that happened, the fat old kidnapper guy was staggering right at me and yelling something, too! He wasn’t too steady, and his eyes looked really bad, like maybe he couldn’t see, and he kept putting his hands over his ears.

I stooped down and got his keys again, and threw them, really hard, at his head, and threw the cigarettes at him, too. I know they connected, but I wasn’t waiting around to see what he was going to do, or if I killed him or something, though I was pretty sure I didn’t. I grabbed my backpack and ran to the bathroom. I got out my cell phone and texted mom, MOM HELP! SOME GUY HAS ME AT HIS APT AND I CAN’T GET OUT! HELP! Then I called 911. The door on the bathroom was locked, but sort of thin, and the guy was yelling over the alarm and banging on the door like he was going to break it down. I yelled into the phone that I was kidnapped by a guy that worked at my school, that my name was Chelsea Fingle, that I was in fifth grade, and what school I went to, and that my mom’s name was Susan McHale, and gave her cell phone number. The door was starting to bulge around the knob and make splintery sounds, so I looked around for something I could hit the guy with when he broke through.

There was a toilet brush, which would have worked on me, but the guy was pretty gross and probably wouldn’t even notice. I looked in the medicine cabinet and there was something with a homemade label that said Chloroform which smelled really horrible and sickening and oddly familiar, and some drugs in those little brown bottles, plastic disposable razors, and shaving cream.

I picked up the shaving cream and the Chloroform bottle and braced myself. I could tell the door was about to go. Sure enough, the door stretched in more than I thought wood could stretch, and splinters and chunks of thin wood blasted into the bathroom all over me. I had already put my arm over my face, and as soon as the guy was in, I aimed and squirted Barbasol all in his eyes. He grunted, then screamed, probably more mad than hurt. He was already sort of falling into the room, and now he lost his balance and fell against the sink. I dumped the whole bottle of Chloroform over his head and threw the bottle—hard–and jumped on his back and ran out to the living room.

I picked up one of his cheesy chairs and started banging on the glass patio door. A big crack ran right up it, so I banged on the crack, and the whole door fell in little pieces all over the little balcony outside the door. It was a relief to get out there and get away from the stupid, noisy smoke alarm. I could hear sirens coming nearer and I started to look around for a way to get down from the second floor without killing myself. There were hedges down below, so I just rolled over the edge onto the hedges, which were prickly and tore my shirt in a few places, but I didn’t mind. I bounced off and fell on some grass, then took off running, waving and yelling at the police car pulling into the parking lot past the gates.

My makeup was ruined, and so was my tee shirt, and I had no socks or underwear, but I had my backpack and my phone.

And my life.

 )0(

  Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter Three

 If you wait long enough, a smoke alarm turns itself off, though not without adding to any ambient chaos already in place.

For once, the whole family is at home; nobody has soccer practice, nobody stayed late at work, the air conditioning isn’t working at the mall, so nobody went there after school, and everybody else is home from day care. So the family is having dinner together tonight, and Mom is busy making a huge meal of cheeseburgers, green salad, potato salad, and popsicles for dessert. Everything is done and waiting in the ‘fridge or freezer except the burgers, and all the buns are dressed to order for each family member.

Mom has nine burgers on the griddle at once: one for Liz, the oldest, two each for Oscar and Omar, the 8-year-old twins, one for little Kathy, the 5-year-old, and one for herself and two for her husband. The baby, Randall, in the playpen, doesn’t have enough teeth yet to have one, so he will be enjoying a Junior Meal, which is heating up separately. That’s a lot of burgers.

Unfortunately, when dinner is almost done, the smoke alarm goes off, shrilly announcing that it disapproves of so much cooking being done all at once. It has its limits. Mom yells into the living room, “Could somebody get that, please?! It’s driving me crazy! I can’t leave this!”

Dad looks up from his paper and shouts for Liz to turn off the smoke alarm. Liz rolls her eyes, says, “In a minute…” and continues working on her homework at the dining room table, where the twins are tossing dishes and flatware back and forth while setting the table for dinner. Liz tells them to “Cut it out, Apes! Turn off that stupid alarm! The broom is behind the door!”

The twins ignore Liz and continue their juggling act/table-setting routine. The baby starts to cry, so Kathy climbs into the playpen with him, pulls him onto her lap, and rocks him while she whispers into his ear, “It’s okay; the smoke alarm thinks it’s a fire, but it isn’t. It’s just like the fire trucks telling everybody to get out of the way. It’s just trying to help, but it isn’t very smart. I don’t think it likes cheeseburgers.” The baby stops crying, shudders a little, then cuddles closer to his big sister, who continues to rock him and begins singing a little made-up song about fire trucks and smoke alarms in his ear, using the shrill beeping as rhythmic back-up.

Mom is still cooking, and calls out, “Please! Somebody! Turn it off!” Dad throws down his newspaper, heaves an exasperated sigh and says, “Liz–!” then stalks out of the room. Oscar and Omar begin meticulously aligning every plate, fork, and glass, not raising their eyes for anything.

Kathy sighs heavily, kisses her tiny brother on the top of his head, and hands him his favorite jingly elephant toy. She climbs out of the playpen and runs over to where Liz had said the broom was; it isn’t there. Kathy trots around the house looking in corners, and finally locates it on the patio. She drags the heavy door open, grabs the broom, then closes the door with a mighty shove.

Then Kathy goes over to the noisy smoke alarm. Holding the broom by the bristles, she tries to poke the alarm, high over her head, with the broom’s handle, succeeding only in knocking a picture off the wall, whacking herself in the head, and making herself skip backward a few steps.

Patiently, she tries again. She manages to poke the alarm, but not in the right place, and it continues to sound its useless and annoying shrieks. Kathy backs up, tries again, pokes the alarm, but with no effect once again.

Mom is just coming into the room to deal with it herself, when the alarm spontaneously quits. Kathy drops the broom on the floor, climbs back into the playpen with her brother and pops her right thumb into her mouth. Randall crawls over to her lap and falls asleep draped across her legs.

Mom goes back to the kitchen, calling, “Dinner, everybody!” and begins bringing food to the table.

Dinner is served.

 )0(

  Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter Four

 A smoke alarm is supposed to be a lifesaving tool, not a tiny, daily weapon of attrition. Yet, it is admirably suited for such a purpose. Beware oppression; it creates implacable enemies who will have no conscience when it comes to avenging themselves upon the oppressor.

Suzannah wakes up just before dawn, when the first birds are beginning their daily territorial squabble. The alarm still has about half an hour to go, so she quietly slips from under the covers, careful not to jostle the bed too much and disturb her snoring husband. Tiptoeing to the kitchen, she puts her apron on over her nightie and begins gathering a few breakfast items: she set out a few eggs, sausage patties, white bread, coffee beans, half a dozen oranges, and a single grapefruit. She takes the milk from the refrigerator and noticing that there is about half the quart left; she quickly adds a teaspoon of vinegar to it, holds it shut, and shakes it vigorously.

Looking at the clock, Suzannah notes that it is about 12 minutes before the alarm will go off. Immediately, she grabs the electric coffee grinder and the coffee beans and begins grinding as she walks toward the bedroom. The snoring is still loud and clear, like she imagines a ramshackle chain saw, or an engine running out of oil, would sound. She frowns thoughtfully and shakes the grinder a little before giving up and continuing with his breakfast.

Suzannah trudges back toward the kitchen and begins juicing the oranges and the grapefruit into a large juice glass, careful to include a few seeds from each piece of fruit, and some of the webbing from between the sections. She discards the rinds, careful to conceal the grapefruit peel beneath the rest of the garbage in the pail. Turning to the stove, Suzannah grabs an iron skillet, raises it to shoulder height, and drops it into the sink, where it breaks a wine glass from the night before, and makes a godawful clatter amongst the silverware and small plastic snack plates.

After a snort, a gasp, and a pause, the alarm clock begins playing a Sousa march. There is a great deal of rustling , and the snooze alarm is activated for another 15 minutes of sleep. More snoring ensues, if anything, louder and more repulsively than before. Suzannah pulls the skillet from the sink and places a huge spoonful of lard into it, turning the temperature of the front burner to HI. She smiles grimly, thinking of the term, “burner,” and stirs the fat in the pan, breaking it up so it will melt faster. She turns and drops the bread into the toaster and pushes the lever down, then adjusts the setting to the furthest reaches of DARK.

By this time, the lard has melted. Suzannah drops the pork sausage patties into it with a sizzle, then immediately breaks 3 eggs next to them, making sure to break each yolk and hide a few fragments of shell under each. The edges of the egg whites begin to turn into a black, lacy trim as the yolks spread, then harden in their greasy bath. When the toast pops up, she shoves it back down again and it begins to smoke.

Suzannah takes the butter from the refrigerator, and then turns the hot water on as far as it will go and lets it run down the garbage disposal, which she turns on. It crunches at food particles from last night’s dinner and the broken wine glass. She winces at the noise, turns off the disposal, but leaves the water running.

When the snooze alarm begins playing its ironically cheery tune, Suzannah turns off the hot water and begins setting the table. She runs a little cold water into a pitcher, quickly steps outside, and douses the newspaper on the stoop with the water. She picks up the paper, shakes it, and places it carefully, aligning it on the table next to the knife and spoon.

The shower starts running.

Quickly, Suzannah turns the hot water off, waits a moment, then turns it on again, then off again. Hearing a gasp and a grunt from the bathroom, she turns the hot water on and off for a final time. After a few minutes, the shower quits, she hears the rings of the shower curtain slide along the rod, and the heavy clump of her husband’s feet hitting the bathmat.

She turns back to the stove, where the sausage patties and eggs look as horrible as such foods can look: burnt, greasy, and beginning to smoke. Suzannah’s husband emerges from the bedroom, a tall, portly, grey-haired man in a light grey suit.

Suzannah quickly takes the burnt toast from the toaster and begins scraping it directly over the brown-and green-patterned upholstery of the dining room chair at the head of the table. When her husband enters the kitchen, she places the toast on his plate and begins buttering it with the cold, hard butter before he can see what she had been doing with it.

As he enters the kitchen, the lard in the frying pan bursts into flames and black smoke. The smoke alarm shrieks its warning, too late, as usual, to do anything about the problem. Suzannah smacks the lid on the pan, which stifles the flames, but smoke still churns around the edges of the lid.

Her husband steps toward her, raising his arm above his opposite shoulder in “backhand” position. Suzannah flinches, shoulders hunched and rising to her ears, her head to the side, her hands clenched at her waist. They stand in this tableau of violence for a full minute before he wordlessly lowers his arm and strides to the table, where he sits down and reaches for the paper.

The smoke alarm screams on and on. With a grunt of frustration, the husband lifts his coffee cup and bangs it on the table. Suzannah scurries over and fills it, bringing the milk carton from the refrigerator. When she pours from it into his cup, curdled lumps and whey drop out. He turns in his chair, looks her up and down, and starts screaming over the smoke alarm, “You stupid, useless bitch! I swear! You are getting worse! You fucking useless piece of shit! Get out of my sight!”

He rises from his chair, drops the soaked newspaper in the trash, shoves Suzannah, hard, into the counter, where she trips and falls to the floor. He lurches past her, black crumbs clinging to the back of his pants. He slams out of the house, yelling over his shoulder, “I’ll get a decent breakfast someplace else! Anywhere but here! I’ll be home at five and I want my dinner hot and ready and on the table! Stupid bitch…” and continues down the stairs, cursing to himself and receding into the distance.

Suzannah pulls herself to her feet, brushes herself off, and then dumps the toast, coffee, and the contents of the frying pan, into the trash. He hadn’t even tried his juice, which Suzannah strains and drinks. She gets the whole wheat bread from the breadbox, takes fresh eggs from the refrigerator, and makes two poached eggs on perfect toast with a side of sliced tomatoes from the Farmer’s Market. She begins completing the crossword puzzle from yesterday’s paper while she drinks her coffee and eats her breakfast.

The smoke alarm stops. The apartment is blessedly silent, except for the sound of a small child singing Row-row-row-you-boat, off-key but happily, from somewhere outside.

 )0(

  Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter Five

Not everybody hates the sound of a smoke alarm, but you would have to travel pretty far to find two who love it.

Yancey awakens abruptly, raising his head from Mommy’s pillow, where he’s been napping for most of the morning. He listens; hearing nothing but the usual clock-ticking and refrigerator-humming sounds, he prepares to go back to sleep. But then—the knocking starts up again. Someone is knocking on the door, despite having received no answer and clearly not about to receive one.

Yancey calls out, loudly, in Siamese, “Go Away. She isn’t home yet.” The knocking starts again. Yancey grunts in annoyance, stands up, walks around in a circle, and lies down again, curled up on the pillow. His tail twitches, eyes wide open, ears beginning to flatten in frustration.

Two men in dark suits stand patiently on the doormat, waiting for someone to come to the door. They look at each other, and the one on the left begins to knock again. They can hear the cat complaining inside, but knock again all the same. The one on the left says to his companion, “Nobody home. Here, hold this.” He leans into the other man, and then goes limp. His friend puts his arm around his waist and holds him up. The limp man tilts his head back and opens his mouth.

Slowly, a curling, foggy, gel-like substance begins to float out and form above the man’s face. It keeps coming. Grey-blue, swirled with lavender, sparkling faintly in the sun, the translucent but fairly substantial haze bunches together, and then swoops in a stream toward the man’s shoes, where it begins to seep over the mat and under the door, which is quite a tight squeeze.

When the entire mass has entered under the door, the doorknob begins to rattle and turn. The door swings open and the man on the right steps in, half-carrying, half-dragging the limp figure of his friend. He kicks the door shut with one foot, reaching out behind him. He pulls his friend’s limp body onto the living room couch and sits down next to it. He looks at the gel-fog hovering halfway to the ceiling and says, “I’m so tired.” He smiles, sleepily, leans back, and opens his own mouth.

As a grey-blue foggy gel seeps from his mouth, the man’s body goes limp and flops back over his friend’s supine body. Pinkish sparks light up in the gel-fog as it joins its compatriot, hovering over the couch. They swirl together briefly, and the pink sparks brighten. The two entities swoop quickly around the room, pausing over all electronic and some mechanical devices. A tiny clock under a dome chimes eleven times, and the entities are visibly joyous, swirling in frilly arcs over the dome in quick, dancing movements.

By this time, Yancey has awakened and decided to check out whoever has come into his domain. He is the man of the house, and Master of All He Surveys, and feels responsible for the safety of such valuable objects as the cat tree, the food dishes, and several tattered catnip mice and feathered balls scattered throughout his apartment. His property seems undisturbed, so he jumps onto the back of the couch, sniffs the limp men, then leaps and scrambles up to his favorite observation tower on top of the tallest bookcase, which takes him to about 10 inches from the ceiling. So far, the show is fascinating, except for the supersonic emanations emitting from the creatures floating and swooping through the room. They hurt his ears and he can feel the fur of his tail and the nape of his neck beginning to rise. He is assuming they are speaking whatever unearthly language they speak and doesn’t approve. They’re being rude.

Meanwhile, B’ViViVi and Cheeesri’peet continue to feel for electronic vibrations around the room, looking for a quick and easy meal. They hover over the television, which they turn on. The deep tones of a program featuring noisy trucks and explosions offends their sensibilities, so they turn off the sound and simply suck electricity from the cable attached to the television. Cheeesri’peet enters the kitchen and drinks from the microwave as it cooks nothing for a few minutes, humming busily as it turns its empty turntable. The refrigerator also provides a hearty side-dish. B’ViViVi enters the bathroom and finds the electric shaver, the electric toothbrush, and a vibrating appliance hidden in the bottom drawer of the dresser in the bedroom. He sets them all to their highest speeds and flows from one to the other to the other as he drains different-flavored energy from each.

The two visitors re-enter the living room, taking note of the cat on top of the bookcase, who glares warily at them. B’ViViVi teases the hair on the cat, which crackles and sparks. Cheeesri’peet winds a tentacle of his substance around his friend and pulls him away from the annoyed feline, who huffily resettles himself on his haunches and refuses to look. His ears are flattened in discomfort as the two uninvited guests chitter supersonically back and forth to each other.

Suddenly, B’ViViVi spots a circular appliance, high up on the wall, and feels around for its vibration. This item is battery-run only, but tasty all the same. Cheeesri’peet activates it and springs back in sudden delight as it begins playing something very similar to the classical music of his people, with rhythmic bass notes throbbing at the lowest frequency in tune with a little flashing red light, not unlike the light show accompanying the popular music of their home planet. The supersonic trills and arabesques delight the two gel-fog beings, who begin to flutter, swoop, and swirl throughout the apartment, singing along with the superb composition coming from the tiny appliance.

Yancey’s ears flatten lower than they’ve ever gone, and he can’t stop himself from growling in pain, though he recognizes that what they are doing is a sort of music; he admires their virtuosity while condemning the performance for the squeaking misery it causes him. He can hear, up and down the complex, dogs beginning to howl in agony. The pug twins next door are squealing miserably, and the Doberman two doors down sounds like it will have a seizure if the “music” doesn’t stop pretty quickly.

The alien visitors continue to dance and sing, paying no attention to Yancey’s discomfort or the howling of the local canine community. Their joy is brief enough on this strange planet and they have no intention of abbreviating it. This will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for most of those dogs and cats within earshot. Besides, B’ViViVi and Cheeesri’peet knew from past encounters that the four-legged of this planet tend to have short memories.

Sadly, the impromptu concert is interrupted by the sound of a key in the front door lock. B’ViViVi and Cheeesri’peet swoop back into the bodies on the couch, then rise with renewed energy, and wait by the door. The moment it opens, they rush out, pushing past a woman in a tan business suit and black pumps, whose mouth drops open in astonishment.

The men leap to the railing, then to the roof, and then join hands and leap into the sky, where they float away like escaping balloons. As they grow smaller in the distance, Yancey leaps down from his perch onto the couch, thence to the door, where he also attempts to push past Mommy and jump to the railing. Mommy shakes herself, closes her mouth, then gently picks Yancey up, absently stroking him from ears to tail, and steps into the living room.

The smoke alarm quits, just as she begins dialing 911 on her cell phone.

 )0(

  Smoke Alarm Stories: Chapter Six

 Sometimes the smoke alarm just isn’t important enough to sidetrack the tenant.

 “Hi, Mom—did you get my email?” ……….

“Yes, yesterday. I guess you didn’t get it yet.” ………..

“Okay, just excited about a little development I thought you’d like to hear about….”

“Exactly! And she’s coming for dinner tonight for the first time” ………….

“Yes, here.” …………………………

“I was thinking steak and rice pilaf and asparagus.” ……………………………

“I know, and I have that wonderful griddle you sent me last year for Christmas…” …………………….

“Cherries Jubilee” ……….…

“Yeah, everybody likes a flambé-type dessert” ………………

“Mmmm hmmm…mmm hmmm…” …….

” I think I can pull it off.” ……..…

“Yes, Dad sent me a fire extinguisher” ………………………

” Yup, fully charged” ……………..

“It’s not that old and I don’t expect I’ll need it” ………………

“I know, nobody expects to need one, but I…” …….

“Okay, I promise.” ……

“I gotta go now, Mom.” ……………………

“I know, but I have a lot to do before tonight.” …………………..

“Yes, I’ll tell you all about it, but I gotta go now.” …………….

“Okay, I’ll call you back later…” ……………………….

“Okay, bye! Love you! Tell Dad I said hi…bye bye— “

(Jacob heaves a deep sigh, then hits a number on his speed-dial.)

“Hello, Edward?” ………

“Yes, it’s me.” ……………..

“I know, I missed you, too.” ……………………

“Yeah, tonight around seven; can you still make it?” ……………….

“No, you don’t have to bring anything unless you want wine.” …………..

“Red. Something like a merlot.” ……………..

“You eat meat, right?” ……………….

“Hahaha, yeah, I know, but I was thinking steaks; I have this griddle I’ve never used…” …………………….

“Mmmm hmmm, dessert and everything” ………….

“No, I’m just not ready.” …………….…

“She thinks I have a girlfriend.” ………………..

“What do you mean?” …………….…

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you, I was just hoping to get through school before I…” ……………….…

“No, I know, I know. But look what happened to Jesse, and Geoffrey, and…” …………………..

“I know, that’s what I’m trying to avoid…” …………………….

“I think I’d better do it by myself.” ……………….

“Maybe they can meet you first in another context, like on Family Day or something.” ……………………..

“Yes, but I don’t feel ready.” ………….

“It’s too soon.” …………….

“No, I’m not waiting for conditions to be right.” …………………….

“Well, sort of, I guess, but it’s not like that.” …………………..

“I don’t think it’s wrong, because they offered, and I accepted, and there weren’t any conditions except that I not flunk out. It’s not dishonest if they didn’t say anything about it.” ………..…

“I don’t know, we never talked about it, but they don’t say anything when there are those horrible jokes on sitcoms…” ……….…

“I realize that, but I still need help paying for school, plus I’m on their insurance.” ……………………

“No, they never said anything about that.” ……………..…

“Mom always says she just wants me to be happy, but…” ………….…

“Wait a minute; I think my toast is burning!” ……………..

“Yes.” ………………

“Yeah.” …………….

“But I’ve been up for a while, just didn’t have breakfast yet—hold on— “

(Smoke Alarm screams indignantly and won’t shut up…)

“Of course I love you!” ………………

“It’s just…” ……………

“No, it’s burnt black; I’ll make new.” …………….

“Wait a minute, Mom is on the other line” ………………………

” Hold on—“

(Jacob distractedly punches buttons on his phone.)

“Mom? I was going to call you back; give me a minute—she’s on the other line— “

(More distracted button-punching…)

“Hi, Edward, honey? We’ll talk about this tonight and maybe you can help me make a plan. I totally want them to know about us. I have to hang up and kill that fucking smoke alarm. It’s driving me crazy!” ………………..

(Silence.)

“Oh…” ……………………….

“Mom, I thought you were on the other line.” ……………….

“Yes, we need to talk. There’s something important I need you to know about me.” ………………….

“His name is Edward, and I am in love with him.” ………………………

“No, Mom, we’re the same age. He’s actually two months younger. He’s in a couple of my classes.” ……………….

“I was going to tell you and Dad in person.” …………………….

“No, I don’t know when; I hadn’t planned that far ahead. It’s going to be okay, Mom. I’m the same person I was when I was in high school. I’m still the same person.” ……………………

“Well, I’m grown up now.” ……………..

“Of course, I love you. I want you in my life, but I can’t stop being who I really am just to make you happy. This is important. It’s more about me than it is about you and Dad.” ………………

“You can tell him if you want, but I think it would be better if you let me do it. I don’t want you taking the heat for me, and it’s really up to me.” ………..

“Yes, dinner tonight. At around seven. We were going to talk about telling you then.” ………………..

“I know you’d like him. He’s wonderful, Mom, a dream come true. You’ll see.” ……………..

“Okay, I’ll call you in the morning and let you know how it went. Remember, I want to be there when Dad gets the news, but if you can’t deal with that, I won’t be mad at you.” ………………..

“No, I mean it. I’ll always love you, no matter what.” ……………..

“Yes, Mom, I know. But now I have to clean up and turn off the smoke alarm and do a tiny bit of shopping before tonight. The cooking will be a breeze. You know you taught me very well. I can handle this.” ………..

“I love you, Mama. Now let me go. I’ll call around 10 tomorrow morning.” …….

“Love you, too. Bye-bye. I promise.”

(The phone rings again, just as the smoke alarm spontaneously goes silent.)

“Hello? Edward?” …………………..

“Oh My God, you’ll ever guess what just happened…!” ………………………

[arplis]

Arplis - News: 15 decor items to spruce up your home for spring

— Recommendations are independently chosen by Reviewed’s editors. Purchases you make through our links may earn us a commission. Spring is all about blossoming, new beginnings, and opening up the windows to let fresh air in. I look forward to a deep clean with a fresh playlist around this time every year, and things feel a bit more hopeful when the sun seems to be shining more—at least here in the Midwest. But, even if spring hasn’t quite gotten to your home yet, there are plenty of ways to spruce up your space with spring home decor. From fresh-smelling candles to a new doormat, these home decor items are a surefire way to make your space anew. So toss your blankets in the wash, grab an extra bag of soil, pour some tea, and get ready to freshen up your home for the upcoming season. 1. A candle to set the mood for the season Credit: Boy Smells Start by making your home smell like fresh fruits and veggies. Boy Smells candles have a cult following, and with good reason—they smell so good. I gifted one to my roommate and it brings a smile to my face every time she lights it. It’s still burning now several months later. To get your bedroom or living area ready for spring, I recommend pickup the Gardener scent. This candle is made of coconut wax and beeswax and combines notes of orange tree bark, tomato juice, honeysuckle nectar, petitgrain, and white tea to make the perfect aroma for those early spring days. Get the Boy Smells Gardner Candle from Nordstrom for $32 2. A doormat that matches your personality Credit: Olive Creative Co. Show your guests what to expect with a sassy or sweet doormat. With vaccines becoming readily available, we might be able to flex our hosting and entertaining muscles soon. So, now is the time to make sure your doormat is ready to welcome people into your home or make anyone passing by crack a smile. I’m a big fan of the “You Better Have Pizza” mat from Olive Creative Co. It’s humorous and lighthearted, and it’s perfect for a sleepover or getting pizza delivered. If that one isn’t your speed, check out other options like doormats that say “Homebody” or “Hey Sunshine.” Get the Olive Creative Co. “You Better Have Pizza” doormat from Esty for $45 3. Fresh foliage in the shower Credit: CAFlowerGrowers Make your shower feel like a spa. Whether you like to shower in the morning or take a late-night bath, a fresh bunch of eucalyptus in the bathroom will make your home feel like a spa. I love seeing the burst of green hanging in the shower, and the steam from hot water helps release the calming eucalyptus scent. Adding a bunch of the plant to your shower will help you start the day refreshed and unwind after a long day. Get the CA Flower Growers Large Fresh Shower Eucalyptus Bunch from Etsy for $23.49 4. Adventure-inspired candles Credit: Paddywax Match your itinerary with a new scent. While you’re planning your upcoming road trips, camping outings, and travel plans, consider getting inspired with a candle formulated after National Parks. The candle collection from Paddywax is earthy, textured, naturally fragrant, and a perfect aesthetic fit for your next visit. You can even strike anywhere-matches right on the vessel to make the candle feel like a blazing campfire. Pick your favorite park from some of the best sights and smells our nation has to offer: Glacier, Acadia, Yellowstone, Yosemite, Grand Canyon, Olympic, and the Great Smoky Mountains. Get the Parks Candles from Paddywax for $34 5. Fresh towels Credit: Nordstrom Few things are as refreshing as plush, new towels. Springtime means spring cleaning, and for some people that includes getting rid of their old, crusty bathroom towels and replacing them with fresh ones. The Hydrocotton towels from Nordstrom are the perfect replacement or can be added to your current rotation. The 100-percent cotton material is ultra-soft and ultra-absorbent providing gentle and thorough drying. Get both the bath towel and the hand towel to give your body and your hands the VIP drying experience. Get the Nordstrom Hydrocotton Bath Sheet from Nordstrom for $55 Get the Nordstrom Hydrocotton Hand Towel from Nordstrom for $19 6. Wicker baskets Credit: QVC Store your blankets, toys, or plants in these gorgeous baskets. With spring comes warmer weather, meaning it's time to put away all the excess pillows and blankets you brought out for the colder months. These wicker baskets are the perfect combination of stylish and functional, allowing you to store those blankets close by when you do get chilly instead of searching for the plastic bin in your basement stuffed them in. There’s also something about the wicker material that's reminiscent of spending time outside. Get the Wicker Basket Set from QVC for $48 7. A countertop compost bin Credit: Bamboozle Keep your scraps out of sight with this bamboo bin. I recently tested a range of compost bins on the market for both indoor collection and outdoor spaces. This indoor bin from Bamboozle was one of my favorites, and it was runner-up for the indoor bins. I loved that the materials (mostly bamboo) and shipping materials were plastic-free and recyclable. I now keep this bin on my countertop or hang it on a hook in my kitchen when the counter is a bit crowded. If you’re looking to reduce food waste and ready to start composting, this sleek bin is wonderful. I do recommend getting it in the darker color though since the cream color stains easily from fruit and veggies. Get the Bamboozle Compost Bin from Amazon for $39.99 8. Plants for a pop of green Credit: FloridaPlantsGardens These ferns are light, airy, and quick to take up space! A new plant is the perfect thing to welcome in the spring for obvious reasons. This asparagus fern is a great addition to your indoor plant collection or a good one to start with for beginners, especially since it is relatively easy to take care of. Despite its name, it is not related to vegetable and is more pleasing to the eye than the stomach. Based on my experience these little guys grow pretty rapidly, adding plenty of green to your home. Get the Florida Plants Gardens Asparagus Sprengeri Fern from Etsy for $12.97 9. A textured throw Credit: Urban Outfitters Doesn't this texture make you want to stay on the couch? Spring is a bit of an in-between season. My roommate and I have been debating whether 40-degree weather is winter or spring—but we do agree that blankets, especially cute and cozy ones, will keep us at the right temperature until we can open the windows and let fresh air in. This tufted-throw blanket from Urban Outfitter is the perfect size for wrapping yourself up on the couch or adding on top of your duvet for another layer of warmth. The throw comes in natural colors that will complement midcentury, bohemian, industrial, and minimalist decor. Get the Aden Tufted Throw Blanket from Urban Outfitters for $69 10. A hammock chair Credit: Highwild Add this comfy chair to your porch or backyard. Warmer weather means more opportunities to sit outside on your front porch or in your backyard. When the time comes, you’ll want to be prepared with a comfortable place to sit like this personal hammock chair swing. This is the perfect spot to bask in the sun and let time pass you buy as you read and sip on an iced tea or write in your journal. If you don’t have any porch or yard space, don't worry. You can still enjoy this hammock. It’s easy to move and can be hung from a tree in a park or indoors to turn your room into a zen oasis. Get the Hanging Rope Hammock Chair from Amazon for $42.99 11. Bright, versatile dishcloths Credit: Anthropologie Add some color to your picnic basket. I love kitchen items, especially multi-purpose ones. I don’t use paper towels in order to reduce waste and be more sustainable, so I have a large collection of tea towels and dishcloths for cleaning, eating, and cooking. This six-pack of dishcloths is bright and charming. You can use them to dry dishes, wipe down counters, dust surfaces, and keep your hands clean during picnics. I can’t recommend these enough, and reviewers agree that they are of great quality and just as vibrant as the photos show. Get the Woven Geo Dishcloths, 6 Pack from Anthropologie for $24 12. A whimsical recipe card tin Credit: Rifle Paper Co. Keep your recipes in one place. Though I have an extensive Pinterest board of recipes, nothing compares to a handwritten recipe card. I have a few from my grandma and mom’s collection, and I’ve started to write my go-to recipes out on large index cards as well. The cards are easier to keep on the counter than my laptop or a cookbook, and you can laminate them to make them last. But you’ll need a place to store your recipes, and no tin is better than the floral ones from Rifle Paper Co. The tins are practical and whimsical, and if you’re a fan of the pattern you can match it with other accessories like your apron, phone case, and more. Get the Recipe Tin from Rifle Paper Co. for $34 13. Air plants Credit: The Sill You can display air plants any way you like. Air plants are little pops of life that you can display in a variety of ways. You can place them in glass globes on the wall, in a basket or tray on your coffee table, or add them as accents to your bookshelves. They don’t take much work, just a weekly soak to keep them perky. They’re a great alternative to potted plants if you don’t have much space or have pets who dig in the soil. This pack of six air plants is only $30, and the plants range in size so you can mix and match them as you decorate. Get the Air Plant Assortment from The Sill for $30 14. A bag for pretty much everything Credit: Urban Outfitters Keep this bag right by the door. Market bags are pretty popular and you’ve probably seen your favorite influencers carrying one as a purse or grocery bag. They’re common in zero-waste bundles as well, and for good reason. A good market bag can be used to carry fresh produce, flowers, or your daily essentials like your water bottle, purse, and phone. In addition to being transporting your goods, you can use it to store produce once you get home by hanging it a nail or hook or store it in the fridge. This bag can also be folded up to fit into a tiny purse so you’re prepared for any shopping emergency. Get the To-Go Market Bag from Urban Outfitters for $9 15. A tray to improve your baths Credit: Royal Craft Wood Take longer baths with a tray for your wine and books. I love taking a bath to wind down, especially since Daylight Saving Time has me a bit off my routine. Though I love relaxing, I tend to get bored and prop up my laptop to watch a TV show or awkwardly hunch to read a book. If you’re in the same boat, upgrade your baths with a tray that’s made to hold all your things. A mug of tea or glass of wine can sit in the coaster area. You can place a candle, lotions, face masks, essential oils, a vase of flowers, or bath salts to keep everything you use within reach. And the tray has several ridges to keep your phone, book, or tablet in place (and dry). Get the Bathtub Caddy Tray from Amazon for $49.97 The product experts at Reviewed have all your shopping needs covered. Follow Reviewed on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for the latest deals, product reviews, and more. Prices were accurate at the time this article was published but may change over time.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/15-decor-items-to-spruce-up-your-home-for-spring

[cumonbucky]

Joint Custody

Summary: Reader and Bucky broke up, having to share time with their kid which ultimately brings them back together.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: just fluff (maybe a lil bit of arguing) but just fluff

A/N: I was just sitting down, doing my school work when this cute/funny idea popped in my head and I immediately wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget. Hope ya like it :) I’ll edit later my dudes.

It had been about 4 months since you and Bucky had broken up from a three year long relationship. It was a nasty argument about him not being home enough due to all the missions he’d been going on with the rest of the team. Then, the argument shifted from one problem to the next. You told him you hated when he didn’t wash a dish after using it, he told you he hated how you weren’t affectionate with him anymore to which you responded with “how am I supposed to be affectionate with you when you’re never home?”. The argument went on, touching different subjects until you called it off, Bucky agreeing and storming out.

The next day he came by and gathered his things, leaving to the Avengers Tower where he lives till this day. You two somehow agreed to joint custody with your son, Zeppelin. You would have him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and Bucky had him Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Today was Saturday and you were headed to the Tower to hand over some paperwork to Steve and Tony. You knew you’d see Bucky there and you weren’t too thrilled at the thought.

You make it to the Tower and go straight into the conference room where you knew Tony and Steve would be. “Hey guys.” you smile.

The two men look up at the doorway and smile when seeing you.

“Hey Y/N.” Steve says, walking around the table and hugging you.

“Hi.”

“Wow, you look great.” Tony comments and you chuckle.

“It’s from sucking the souls out from my enemies.” you flip your hair over your shoulder, causing the two to laugh. “Anyways, I brought over the files you asked for. They were a little tricky to get ahold of but I got ‘em.”

“You’re a life saver.” Tony says, taking the folder from you and opening it.

“Mhm. I expect food as a token of your gratitude. Chinese is always good, or if you really wanna seal the deal, Olive Garden.” you say. “You both know where I live.”

And with that, you turn to the door, Tony and Steve saying goodbye. While making your way to the elevator, you pass the conjoined living room and kitchen, seeing Sam, Wanda, Nat and Clint. You make a U-turn and enter the room, smiling when Wanda spots you first.

“Y/N!” she shouts, rushing over to you and engulfing you in a hug.

“Hey Wanda.” you giggle.

“I haven’t seen you here in forever! Nat and I were just talking about going out for lunch today. Do you want to come?” she asked. You look over her shoulder and wave at Nat who got up and hugged you tightly.

“Uh.. Sure, why not. I’ve got nothing else to do.” you shrug. The girls cheer at your acceptance and you look over at Sam and Clint. “Hey guys.”

They greet you back and you were about to talk with them when you heard that all too familiar voice. Spinning around you see Bucky standing at the counter with Zeppelin standing next to him.

“Here you go buddy.” he murmurs, scooping some food onto a plate and placing it on the floor for Zeppelin to eat.

“What are you feeding my son, Bucky?” you spoke, walking closer to the two.

Bucky’s gaze shifts from Zeppelin to you and he pursed his lips. “Food and he’s our son, Y/N. Not just yours.”

“I sent over food with him.”

“Yeah and he didn’t like it.” the brunette argued.

“Bullshit. He eats it at home.” you respond. “Have you been feeding him human food every time he comes here?”

“He likes it.” Bucky folds his arms.

“Wait,” Clint whispers amongst Sam and the girls. “They have a son?”

“Mhm.” Sam nods.

“Zeppelin.” Nat confirms.

Clint quirks an eyebrow. “Zeppelin.. The dog?”

“Yep.” Wanda nods.

“They got a dog two years into their relationship and four months ago, when they broke up they decided on this joint custody thing.” Sam explained, all their eyes on you and Bucky.

“Y/N gets him Monday through Thursday and Bucky gets him Friday through Sunday.” Wanda adds.

Clint scoffed. “I really need to come visit more often.”

“I can’t believe you would do this.” you shake your head.

“It’s just human food Y/N, sorry that he doesn’t like the shitty dog food you buy him.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“He’s gonna get used to that and soon he’s not going to want the dog food anymore.” you sigh. “They make dog food for a reason - so that dogs can eat it.”

Bucky gasps. “Are you calling our son a dog?”

“He is a dog you gigantic idiot.”

Bucky kneels down to be leveled with Zeppelin who was done eating the food from the plate. “It’s okay, Z. Mommy’s just being a big meanie.” he says as he hugs the dog.

You sit on the floor. “And daddy’s being a dumbass because he’s feeding you junk food and you can get sick.”

Zeppelin pulls away from Bucky and turns to you, nudging your shoulder with his nose. He always did this when he wanted you to pet him. So you did.

Bucky glared at you. “I don’t always feed him junk food.”

“Oh really? Then please tell me what other foods you feed him that are healthy!” you respond.

“He likes carrots!”

“Oh! Thank god the only healthy food you give him is carrots!” you say in a sarcastic tone.

“He likes broccoli too - and raw eggs!” Bucky moves to a sitting position.

You look at him as if he’s gone mad. “Raw eggs!? Are you crazy Bucky? Zeppelin could get salmonella or E. coli!”

Bucky makes a face. “What the fuck is E. coli?”

You hug the dog. “It’s a bacterium that can cause serious infections.”

“Oh shit.” the soldier breathed. “Well good thing I’ve only given him eggs twice.”

“Today?” you snap and he glares at you even more. You look at Zeppelin a frown. “My poor baby. Maybe I should just take you home today.”

Zeppelin licks your face and barks happily.

“What? No! It’s my day to have him, you can’t just take him from me!” Bucky shouts and you roll your eyes, ignoring him.

Without you or Bucky noticing, Wanda, Nat, Sam and Clint left the kitchen, informing Steve and Tony who they bumped into, to not go in the kitchen because the two parents were arguing.

“I wouldn’t have to take him from you if we were still together.” you comment, keeping your eyes on Zeppelin as you spoke.

Bucky scoffed. “And who’s fault is that?”

“Shut up.” you hissed. There was a small moment of silence between the two of you as you sat on the floor with Zeppelin. You keep your eyes glued to the floor as you break that silence. “You didn’t even fight it. You just agreed and left.”

Bucky sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought that was what you wanted.”

“Obviously not. I still wanted to be with you.” you mutter, playing with Zeppelin’s fur.

Bucky exhales. “I miss you.”

“Oh really?” your eyes snap up at him. “Cause last time I checked you were using my son to pick up chicks.”

“Our son.” he corrected for the second time. “And it was one time. The chick turned out to be boring as hell.”

You roll your eyes. “Because that makes the situation so much better.”

“Listen,” he sighs. “I know some of the things that I said were out of line and I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t talking about Zeppelin anymore.

“I’m sorry too.” you say. “I was being stupid. We fought over you not being home enough then it turned into more. The break up was my fault.”

“It was.” Bucky agrees, causing a sharp look from you. “But these past four months have made me realize that I really miss you. I miss you yelling at me for not washing dishes after I use them. I miss us folding clothes with each other.”

A smile finds its way to your lips. “We never got that done. We’d end up throwing the clothes at each other.”

Bucky laughs, remembering the moments. “I miss when we’d dance around the apartment in just our underwear.”

“We probably looked like idiots.” you giggle.

“Probably.” he nods. “But cute idiots.”

You smile - and there was that god damn moment of silence again. You think back to all the good times you’ve had with Bucky, remembering when you two first adopted Zeppelin and how happy the two of you were.

You knew Bucky tried his best to be home when he could. He loved coming home to you and Zeppelin. But sometimes missions didn’t go as planned and you knew that.

“And I know that Zeppelin misses us being together.” Bucky broke the silence.

“Yeah.” you say. “He still waits by the door for you to come home.”

“When he starts missing you I have to show him pictures of you.” Bucky spoke, scratching behind Zeppelin’s ear - his favorite spot.

You smirk. “You still have pictures of me?”

“Well yeah I-” he lets out a chuckle. “I don’t even have a reason to support that.”

The two of you watch as Zeppelin lays down in front of you on his side, whimpering and nudging you with his nose. You and Bucky laugh, scratching his side.

“Do you think Z wants his parents back together?” you question, looking at Zeppelin with a smile.

“I’d like to think he does.” Bucky nods.

“So we should.. You know.. Maybe get back together? For Zeppelin’s sake.” you look over at Bucky. He’s already looking at you.

“Yeah. No kid - or dog should grow up with their parents separated.” he nods.

You both stare at each other, eyes drifting down to each others lips a couple of times. You guys stop scratching Zeppelin, much to his dismay, and Bucky lunges at you. You fall back on the floor with him on top of you, lips attached to each others in a longing kiss. Your hands find their way to his hair and you thread your fingers through the silky locks.

Bucky lets out a groan. Oh how he missed kissing you. It was interrupted all too soon by Zeppelin who tried squeezing his way between the two of you, thinking that you guys were playing around. You and Bucky pull away and turn to Zeppelin who licked your face then Bucky’s before barking. Laughing, Bucky ruffled his fur before standing up, helping you as well.

“So.. Are we back together?” he breathed out.

“Yeah.. Are you going to move back in with me?”

“I think it would be best. For Zeppelin.” Bucky nodded.

“For Zeppelin.” you repeat.

Again, you two stare at each other before your lips were on his in another kiss and again Zeppelin got excited and jumped up, barking. The two of you pull away and Bucky scoffed.

“This damn dog is a cock block.” he huffed.

You laugh and look down at Zeppelin who stared up at you and Bucky.

“Did you just call our son a dog?” you gasp.

Bucky playfully rolls his eyes. “Shut up.” he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Lets go home.”

“What about your stuff?” you question.

“We’ll get it tomorrow. I just wanna be with you tonight.” he hummed, kissing your cheek. Zeppelin barked. “And Zeppelin too.”

A/N: Why am I so bad at endings?? Anyways, tell me what ya think! :)

Tags:

@your-puddin @heismyhunter @buchananbarnestrash @live-in-the-now10 @jcb2k16 @plumqueenbucky @thefandomplace @chocolatereignz @blueberry-pens @professionally-crazed @idk-something-amazing-i-guess @almondbuttercup @janetgenea @buckysmetallicstump @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @rvb-and-marvel-shit @ouatalways @winterboobaer @thyotakukimkim @hattnco @millaraysuyai @themercurialmadhatter @miss-jessi29 @snakesgoethe @helloitsgrc @welcometothecasmofsar @aboxinthestars @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @fandommaniacx @hatterripper31 @coffeeismylife28 @bunchofandoms @bobabucky @under-dah-sea @amrita31199 @sebstanthemanxo @mrs-brxghtside @erinvanlyssel @amistillmyself @buckyandsebsinbin @ballerinafairyprincess @spnhybrid @marvel-fanfiction @queen--valeskaxx @bucky-with-the-metal-arm

[wiremagazine]

A CHAT WITH TED ALLEN: THE 18TH ANNUAL FOOD NETWORK & COOKING CHANNEL SOUTH BEACH WINE & FOOD FESTIVAL, LIFE ON TV, FOOD, COOKING & MORE

By Rafa Carvajal 

Many Wire Magazine readers will remember Emmy-award winning author and television personality Ted Allen as the food and wine specialist on the very popular television series Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. Ted is the host of three shows on Food Network, including the long-running hit series Chopped, the guide to classic foods across America Best. Ever, and the competition for amateurs All-Star Academy. Ted was also a judge on the first four seasons of Bravo's Top Chef and Food Network's Iron Chef America. 

Besides his TV career, Ted also works with several charitable organizations, including the James Beard Foundation. He hosted the Taste America fundraising event in Miami back in 2013, as well as the 2014 Beard Awards at Lincoln Center. This year will be Ted's seventh as spokesperson for Dining Out For Life, an annual national fundraiser in which restaurants across the U.S. that donate a portion of their proceeds to HIV/AIDS service groups – raising more than $4 million in a single day. He also supports the Point Foundation, Share Our Strength/No Kid Hungry, the Food Bank for New York City, and the Washington D.C. Central Kitchen, and serves on the Food Council for City Harvest, which rescues unused products from New York restaurants and provides them to families in need. Ted lives in Brooklyn with his husband, interior designer Barry Rice. 

Ted's academic credentials include an M.A. in journalism from New York University, with an advanced certificate in the school's Science and Environmental Reporting Program, and a B.A. in psychology from Purdue University.

Ted Allen will be coming to Miami for the 18th annual Food Network & Cooking Channel South Beach Wine & Food Festival (SOBEWFF) to join 400 celebrity chefs, culinary personalities, winemakers and spirits producers. He will be hosting the Art of Tiki Cocktail Showdown on Friday, February 22 at 10 p.m., which is presented by Bacardi Rums. Visit sobewff.org to purchase tickets for this event and all other SOBEWFF events. This year's Festival will take place February 20-24, 2019, and will include over 100 events spanning Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties. "With a variety of new offerings and the return of the specially-curated CRAVE Greater Fort Lauderdale Series, the 18th annual edition of the Festival is our most robust event line up yet," explained SOBEWFF founder and director Lee Brian Schrager. To date, the five-day Festival has raised more than $28 million in support of its mission to "EAT. DRINK. EDUCATE."

Wire Magazine sat down with Ted Allen to talk about his career and preview this year's SOBEWFF.

Rafa Carvajal: Why did you decide to pursue a career in the culinary industry? Ted Allen: I've loved cooking since I was a kid, but never got farther professionally than washing dishes in a French bistro, and making baked potatoes and fries at Ponderosa. In my early 30s, I got a job as an editor at Chicago magazine, which, like most city magazines, devoted a great deal of attention to the city's restaurants. Reading that coverage taught me a lot, and, eventually, I joined the critics' team myself. I find it so, so interesting to think honestly and critically about whether a chef is delivering what he or she is promising, whether it's the finest of fine dining, or a hamburger. 

RC: Why did you choose to go into television media as part of your culinary career? TA: After Chicago magazine, while still based in that great city, I got a contract as a writer for Esquire. When you're working for an NYC-based magazine and you don't live in NYC, it's a good idea to get face time with the boss whenever you can. Meanwhile, I had heard about a casting call for this Queer Eye show, and thought, what the hell? I remember the first day of the casting sessions, in a steamy conference room on 7th Ave., near Madison Square Garden. Lots of recognizable gay faces were in that room. I also remember the moment Carson walked into the room in a blousy pirate shirt, hibiscus-printed linen pants and Gucci slides. He threw his duffel on the conference table and announced, "I think it's hilarious that any of you bitches think you're gonna get my part." He wasn't wrong. We later learned that Carson and I were the first two people chosen for the pilot. We went on to shoot either 99 or 100 episodes, depending on who you ask. And we won an Emmy! 

RC: How did your background as a journalist/writer prepare you for your TV hosting jobs? TA: Journalism is a lot like teaching, which is what we did on Queer Eye. As far as doing TV, I had zero experience, other than appearing on Chicago news shows to promote the magazine. The great thing about my job is that I'm really not performing. I'm just being my dorky self. 

RC: What are you most looking forward to during the South Beach Wine & Food Festival? TA: I don't hate the weather, have to admit – it's 26 degrees outside my window right now. The beach, tasty food, getting to hang with other Food Network folks, and to hang with fans, is always fun. 

RC: What is it like hosting three shows on Food Network and what do you enjoy the most about doing so? TA: The best thing about my job is the tight relationships I have with my fellow Chopped cast members, and with other Food Network pros like Sunny Anderson and Jeff Mauro. We've worked together for a long, long time now. We really enjoy each other's' company – which is a good thing; our shooting days are about 12 hours long. That's one episode. 

RC: What was it like being a judge on Food Network's Iron Chef America? TA: That is a job I would definitely recommend! You have spectacular chefs, who are given only one mystery ingredient, never anything gross, and who also have two sous chefs assisting them. Then, they make five courses or so, all of it kept nice and hot. Such creativity and excitement – and then, you have to make an often-difficult decision about which chef's career arc is about to dramatically improve. I loved it. 

RC: How did being the food and wine specialist on the Queer Eye help pave the way for your continued career on television? TA: Well, QE made me well-known enough for Food Network and Top Chef to want me as a judge; I became a regular on both shows. I like to say that every job I've ever had was necessary for the job I have now – it's really true. I don't write the scripts, but I edit them every morning. I interview the chefs much more than you see in the final edit. Along with the judges, I'm explaining cooking techniques and ingredients to the audience. It's not exactly journalism, but working as a journalist is where I learned to do all of those things. 

RC: What did you enjoy the most about being on Queer Eye? TA: I have never laughed so hard in my life as I did when we were shooting QE – much of it from material far too filthy to be usable in the show, or even printed in a magazine! I love those bastards. 

RC: You'll be hosting a tiki-inspired cocktail competition at SOBEWFF. What's your favorite cocktail to enjoy while sitting on a sandy beach? TA: I like simple drinks. Say, Tanqueray, on the rocks with lime and a high-quality tonic. 

RC: Tell our readers about your two cookbooks, The Food You Want to Eat: 100 Smart, Simple Recipes, and In My Kitchen: 100 Recipes and Discoveries for Passionate Cooks. TA: They're both about approachable cooking, using tons of herbs and good olive oil, roasting meats, a little slow-and-low barbecue, some nice cocktails and great sweets. My husband, Barry Rice, developed the dessert sections! 

RC: What motivated you to write them and what was the most fun part of writing a cookbook? TA: For me, writing a cookbook is telling a story about a distinct period in your life, via the food that excited you then – it's a tremendously fun thing to build. It's also really hard – a ton of work – and it's really tough on kitchens, especially dishwashers. The most fun part is when you finally get a copy of it into your hot little hands.

RC: Why is Dining Out For Life such an important cause to help people with HIV/AIDS and what is your involvement with this national fundraiser? TA: DOFL is such a win/win/win for me. Most important, it raises funds for HIV/AIDS organizations right in your own city. It also encourages people to try a new restaurant, which is great for my friends in chef's coats. And it gives regular people who are living busy lives a chance to make a meaningful contribution to the fight, just by doing something you'd have to do anyway – have dinner. 

RC: What advice would you give to a young person thinking about going into a career in the culinary industry and having dreams of being on television someday? TA: Mainly that you shouldn't get into cooking because you want to be on TV; very, very few people ever get the opportunity to do that (and we're very grateful). You should cook because you love cooking, because you have something to say with food, a talent to share with the dining public. 

RC: Is there anything else you would like to share with Wire Magazine's readers? TA: Yes. Come see us at SOBEWFF! 

This was originally published in Wire Magazine Issue 3.2019

[jeremystrele]

Flinders and Surrounds with Eve Wilson

Flinders and Surrounds with Eve Wilson

Travel

Eve Wilson

Our Flinders and surrounds tour guide, photographer Eve Wilson, pictured at the Flinders’ foreshore. Photo – courtesy of Eve Wilson.

My parents moved to Flinders in the 70s, seeking a quiet beach-side lifestyle. My Dad went on to open a surf shop, Balin, with friends, and my Mum worked at the local school camp. It was a pretty idyllic place to grow up; we really felt like we had the run of the town, exploring the creeks, beaches and paddocks on a regular basis. It was a tiny town in the 80s, and only a handful of kids were around the same age as me, so we were all friends and spent weekends riding from one house to the other. We’d pick blackberries in summer and sell them to the local restaurant, then spend the earnings on lollies at the general store!

Nowadays, I try and get down to Flinders as often as possible. My family are still there, and now that I am living in the inner city, that’s where I go when I feel that I need to get some country air and slow down every once in a while. I also want to give my daughter the opportunity to enjoy the country, go to the beach and just get dirty!

I am sure that time slows down to at least half-speed as soon as you pass Red Hill, and I always feel instantly relaxed as soon as we arrive in Flinders. You can get a bit of everything here – amazing local food and wine, rolling hills, beautiful beaches – all within a few kilometres.

This time of year, I’m alway stopping for big tubs of cherries at Red Hill Cherry Farm (or a close second: strawberries and the strawberry ice cream from Sunnyridge Strawberry Farm) en route. Of non-edible pickings, there’s also garden blooms from the Main Ridge Rose Farm. Of course, you can’t beat summer snorkelling at the Flinders Back Beach, and at low tide you’re almost always guaranteed to see a stingray, and also get a chance to walk out on the rocks at mushroom reef. Showing my daughter the crabs and sea life that I used to hunt for as a child here is pretty special. In autumn, the wineries are beautiful, with the vines all yellow and red, plus it’s not too hot nor cold to be sitting outside and enjoying a glass (or two). Even in winter, the area has its charms. We often take the dog on walks along the dog beach, then it’s home to sit by the cosy fire. Although it can get a lot busier than it used to be, Flinders still manages to feel small and remote most of the time.

I love the memories that each place holds for me and while shooting this story, I had the chance to have lovely conversations with new and old friends. These chats always led back to a connection with my family, friends and my husband – it’s such a nice community and everyone is connected in some way. Ahhh… it really tugged at my heart strings, pulling me back. Maybe one day!

Inside Cook & Norman Trattoria in Flinders. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Eve’s order at the trattoria: Scallop Risi e Bisi. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The owners, Rowan (also the head chef) and Janine, are lovely and it’s a friendly place to have dinner. Photo – Eve Wilson.

EATERY • Cook & Norman Trattoria

The building that houses this amazing restaurant has a history for me, although from before I was even born. My Dad and his business partner operated their surf shop, Balin, from here in the 70s!

Flinders is a bit of a sleepy town in terms of night-life, and new restaurants don’t pop up very often so it’s nice to see a something like Cook & Norman settle in. The owners, Rowan (also the head chef) and Janine, are lovely and it’s a friendly place to have dinner. The pasta here is always great, and on my recent visit I sampled the Scallop Risi e Bisi (rice with peas), which is a traditional dish of Veneto, the region from which Janine’s family hails – it’s a must-try!

These guys also run an adjoining café, Sirollena, which is open on weekends and has the best pastries and cakes, all made in-house. I’ll always find a way to get something sweet there when I’m in town.

1/52 Cook St, Flinders VIC 3929 Closed Mondays and Tuesdays

The gardens at Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove. Photo – Eve Wilson.

A quiet spot at Montalto vineyard. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Montalto Picnic and Sculpture Garden. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Montalto Picnic and Sculpture Garden. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Montalto Picnic and Sculpture Garden. Photo – Eve Wilson.

 EXPERIENCE • Montalto Vineyard and Olive Grove

I have been enjoying Montalto for years. This usually includes sitting out in the piazza with friends and a few bottles of wine, enjoying the vegetable garden and views of the wonderful sculpture gardens.

They also offer beautiful picnics, and have gorgeous tables overlooking different parts of the winery. Stop buy the cellar door to grab a bottle of wine and wander through the sculptures to your secluded table!

33 Red Hill-Shoreham Rd, Red Hill South VIC 3937

Merricks General Wine Store. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Merricks General Wine Store. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Merricks General Wine Store. Photo – Eve Wilson.

 COFFEE • Merricks General Wine Store

I really like that The Merricks General Wine Store still reminds me of the original general store. My favourite things about this place would have to be the little coffee window and the attached gallery, showcasing local and Australian artists. There’s always something on, from Mirka Mora to local Peninsula artists.

When I was visiting they had an exhibition by a young local artists Baden Croft and Jess Milne. Baden’s large, textured oil paintings really caught my eye.

In summer, it’s so nice to sit amongst the big trees and green vines. I’m mainly there for the coffee!! But the food is also lovely, as are all the staff.

3460 Frankston-Flinders Rd, Merricks VIC 3916

Doot Doot Doot restaurant with it’s jaw-dropping 10,000 globe chandelier, at Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The view from the vineyard-facing rooms at Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

On the terrace at Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The Vineyard room at Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

The incredible grounds of Jackalope Hotel. Photo – Eve Wilson.

STAY • Jackalope Hotel

Jackalope is the perfect luxury getaway. My husband Jonny and I got married here in 2010, when it was Willow Creek Winery, so coming back was a real treat. It’s changed a lot, but it still has the old charm that we loved.

The interiors are spectacular (especially THAT expansive chandelier in the restaurant, Doot Doot Doot) and the renovated homestead now hosts the bar, which is a great touch.

I also love the fact that if you didn’t want to, you’d have no need to leave while staying here; from your room to a drink at the bar then dinner at Doot Doot Doot, it’s the total package.

I recommend running the giant Japanese bath half way through your meal (it takes 45mins), so that it’s ready when you get back to your room. The bath salts are even scented with grapes from the vineyard!

If you do decide to take a drive down the road, you’ve got an abundance of wineries, beaches and cafes close by to enjoy.

166 Balnarring Rd, Merricks North VIC 3926

Michael ‘Harry’ Harris sells mussels at Flinders Pier. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Mussels at Flinders Pier. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Mussels at Flinders Pier. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Mussels at Flinders Pier. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Mussels at Flinders Pier. Photo – Eve Wilson.

SAMPLE • Mussels at Flinders Pier

Michael ‘Harry’ Harris has been around for as long as I can remember; my Dad had a mussel plot that Harry tended to for a long time. He supplies many of the great restaurants on the Peninsula, but best of all, he’s at the Flinders Pier every summer selling mussels straight from his boat. You can’t get much fresher than that! Pop down to the pier for a snorkel or to jump off it, then take home some fresh mussels for dinner.

These days you can get them, cooked by the man himself, from his mussel truck Conchilla, which operates from the carpark at the end of the pier in the summer months. There’s no need for getting your hands dirty!

The Esplanade, Flinders VIC 3929

Bushranger’s Bay Walk. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Bushranger’s Bay Walk. Photo – Eve Wilson.

Bushranger’s Bay Walk. Photo – Eve Wilson.

 ACTIVITY • Bushranger’s Bay Walk

A spectacular walk to hidden landscape gems, this is my 2nd favourite spot along the area’s coast line (the first I’m sorry I’m not allowed to share).

You start inland and walk along a tea tree-lined path and then, before long, that coastal views open up and the bay is right beneath you! It’s the perfect mix between green, rolling hills and wild, ocean views.

From Cape Schanck to Flinders, there are stunning rugged cliffs and small beaches, some of which are only rocks. It’s wild and not really the best swimming destination, which means it doesn’t get over-crowded, even in summer – making for a very peaceful walk. A stroll along the edge of the tide line can reveal lots of washed up treasures, like sea urchin shells, shark eggs and ever cowrie shells if you’re lucky. *All just for looking at, please don’t remove them from the beach*

The best time to go is at sunrise in summer, it’s early, but you’re well and truly rewarded with a cool walk, dappled light and lots of wild life – kangaroos cross the track every morning and evening so you very likely to meet a few along the way!

Cape Schanck Lighthouse, 20 Cape Schanck Rd, Cape Schanck, 3939.

[janerchambers88]

15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There

According to travel reviewers on FlipKey, these US spots have the top-rated vacation rentals for hosting a girls’ weekend getaway. 

USA’s Top Girls’ Weekend Getaway Ideas

Millions of travelers have written about their bachelorette weekends and annual girlfriend getaways, so we dove into their reviews to identify the most popular girls’ trip ideas in the country. Put simply, our algorithm analyzed every property review on FlipKey* to identify the destinations with the highest-rated rental homes for hosting a girls’ trip. Whether you’re looking to head to the beach, visit a spa, or dance the night away in the city, we’ve spotlighted 15 of our favorite places (and their must-visit spas!) that are sure to offer an unforgettable girls’ weekend.

Once you’ve chosen your destination, use FlipKey to find the right rental for the right price. Booking a vacation home will score you extra bedrooms and bathrooms, while many also offer fun extras like private hot tubs, fire pits, beach gear, and more. Whether you’re searching for an urban oasis or waterfront condo, you’ll find plenty to choose from for your girls’ weekend getaway.

So, what are you waiting for? Call up your girlfriends and pack your weekend bag—we bet it won’t take much convincing once they see our list of top spots for a girls’ trip.

Savannah, Georgia

“This house is beautiful and impeccably kept! We will be returning next year for another girlfriends weekend—hopefully for many more birthday celebrations!” – FlipKey Traveler

Relaxing on vast verandas, sipping mint juleps, and touring historic antebellum mansions—Savannah is the picture of the ultimate girls’ weekend getaway. Known for its Southern charm and abundant hospitality, it’s one of the oldest cities in Georgia and a popular spot for travelers, young and old. Explore Savannah on foot, pose for a photo in Forsyth Park, or dine on fresh seafood and creamy grits. No matter what you choose to do during your stay, everyone in your group will agree that Savannah is the ideal spot for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Bleu

See all Savannah rentals on FlipKey!

Saratoga Springs, New York

Grand old Victorians, natural springs spas, spirited nightlife, and thrilling horse races: Saratoga Springs has everything a girl needs for a one-of-a-kind weekend with the girls. The Upstate New York destination’s bubbling mineral springs put it on the map, and today city’s the waters are still touted for their healing powers. Spoil yourself at the Roosevelt Baths and Spa after the adrenaline rush of betting on horses at the Saratoga Race Course. Use your down time to sweat it out on a jog around Congress Park or unwind in the comfort of your vacation rental. With so many things to do in Saratoga Springs, you might need two trips!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Complexions

See all Saratoga Springs rentals on FlipKey!

Wilmington, North Carolina

There’s no better way to relax and recharge than by spending 48 hours at the beach in Wilmington with your best girlfriends. Tucked away on the picturesque coast of North Carolina, this spot offers countless things to do. When you arrive, head to the Riverwalk, a central location for checking out the local shops and restaurants, and explore this scenic mile of boardwalk. Later, pamper yourself at the spa or acquaint yourself with the local history at Bellamy Mansion. Whether you choose to rent a spacious home in the historic district or a coastal retreat on the water, you’re sure to enjoy a carefree weekend getaway in Wilmington!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Coastal Massage & Bodywork

See all Wilmington rentals on FlipKey!

Fredericksburg, Texas

“Myself and a few of my girlfriends rented The Painted Buffalo for my bachelorette party in Fredericksburg, and it was over the top spectacular!” – FlipKey Traveler

Situated in the heart of Texas Hill Country, Fredericksburg is a small city with big-time charm. It’s known for its authentic German heritage, which is celebrated by the town’s music, architecture, festivals, and more. Kick off your girls’ weekend getaway with a stroll down Main Street, browsing the boutiques and sampling German pastries at bakeries along the way. The surrounding region is home to renowned vineyards where you and your girlfriends can tour wineries and taste the local blends. Wrap up your trip with a visit to the spa for luxurious treatments that will leave you positively refreshed.

Our Top Spot to Relax: European Day Spa of Fredericksburg

See all Fredericksburg rentals on FlipKey!

West Palm Beach, Florida

Planning a girls-only weekend in West Palm Beach? You’re in for a treat! With nearly perfect year-round weather, trips to the beach are a must during your girls weekend here. Lather on the sunscreen and bask in the Florida warmth. When you need a break from the sun, saunter down the palm-lined streets of downtown West Palm Beach where you’ll find a treasure trove of designer stores and unique boutiques. Make sure you save some energy for a night out on the town, thought—the nightlife in West Palm Beach is unrivalled!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Kaffee’s Garden Spa

See all West Palm Beach rentals on FlipKey!

Newport, Rhode Island

“Perfect place for a weekend with friends. Would love to come back again.” – FlipKey Traveler

Whether you live in New England or it’s been on your travel bucket list for years, Newport is an idyllic setting for your next girls’ trip. From touring the town’s opulent mansions nestled along the Rhode Island coastline to wine tasting at a local vineyard, there’s no shortage of things to do. Rent an apartment near the cobblestone streets of downtown Newport to be close to restaurants and shopping, or book a home near the ocean and fall asleep to the sound of waves lapping the shore—you can’t go wrong!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Lockstar Salon & Spa

See all Newport rentals on FlipKey!

Paso Robles, California

“It was the perfect location for a weekend with the girls and wine tasting!” – FlipKey Traveler

Sip, relax, repeat: experience the most perfect weekend getaway with your girlfriends in Paso Robles. Located just north of San Luis Obispo, this destination is known for its exquisite wineries and thriving olive groves. Whether you spend the weekend exploring the local vineyards or soaking up the California sun from your rental’s backyard patio, Paso Robles doesn’t disappoint. This burgeoning new wine country is just the place for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Roux

See all Paso Robles rentals on FlipKey!

Sag Harbor, New York

Located on beautiful Long Island and nestled within the prestigious Hamptons, Sag Harbor should be on everyone’s list for a girls’ trip. The area is legendary for its wealthy enclaves and celebrity sightings, but you don’t have to be a superstar to vacation here. Plan your trip for the summertime and experience the town bustling with activity, or visit during the offseason when the crowds are gone and vacation rental prices drop.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Xavier

See all Sag Harbor rentals on FlipKey!

Charleston, South Carolina

“I pulled into the driveway and just said ‘WOW!’ We spent hours on the back porch and enjoyed the very inviting pool area. My high school girlfriends and I enjoyed this lovely home!” – FlipKey Traveler

It’s no surprise that Charleston makes our list of the best girlfriend getaways in the U.S. Bursting with Southern charm and home to a flourishing food scene, historic landmarks, and much more, girls and guys alike flock to this coastal city from all over the country. Snap a group photo in front of Rainbow Row, shop the stalls at Charleston City Market, or relax along the water’s edge at Riley Waterfront Park. Your trip to Charleston can be as relaxing or action-packed as you and your girlfriends want it to be!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Sweet 185

See all Charleston rentals on FlipKey!

San Antonio, Texas

Looking to let loose with the girls? Then consider San Antonio, a vibrant city in central Texas. Famous for being home of the Alamo (it’s a must-visit while you’re in town!), San Antonio also boasts award-winning chili (its signature dish), historic landmarks, and thrilling nightlife. When you’re not exploring the city, relax at a spacious home just minutes away. Book a girls’ weekend getaway in San Antonio, and you might end up staying longer than planned!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Loma de Vida Spa & Wellness

See all San Antonio rentals on FlipKey!

Nashville, Tennessee

“Pictures live up to the real thing!! Will definitely return in the near future, this time with family, so that they can get the great experience the girls and I had!” – FlipKey Traveler

Plan a girls weekend getaway like never before—from spirited honky tonks and historic music venues to five-star dining, Nashville offers non-stop fun for everyone. Tap your toes to live music at the Bluebird Cafe or explore the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum to learn about country music’s greatest artists. When you get hungry, hop from barbecue joint to barbecue joint along Broadway downtown. Now all you need to do is find the perfect Nashville rental for your girls’ weekend.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Escape

See all Nashville rentals on FlipKey!

York, Maine

With your besties by your side, step onto the sandy beaches of York, and let your worries wash away during your girls weekend getaway. Grab coffee at a cafe downtown then explore the beautiful coastline on foot. Scenic cliff walks and beachfront paths provide spectacular views of rippling waves, endless blues skies, and Cape Neddick Light, an authentic Maine lighthouse still in use today. If that’s not relaxing enough, head home for a lobster feast (Maine is famous for its lobster!), and unwind in the comfort of your cozy beach cottage.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Euphoria Salon and Spa

See all York rentals on FlipKey!

Aspen, Colorado

No matter what brings you to Aspen—whether it’s the scenic mountain setting, thrilling outdoor adventures, or the cozy taverns—this destination is the ideal place for girls’ weekend getaways. Often thought of as a winter wonderland, Aspen has plenty to do all year long. Visit before the snow arrives and take a horseback tour of the iconic Maroon Bells, a favorite spot for wildlife-watchers. Planning a winter escape? Rent a lodge near the slopes and take advantage of fresh powder daily.

Our Top Spot to Relax: O2 Aspen

See all Aspen rentals on FlipKey!

Asheville, North Carolina

“Relaxation and fun all in one place! I stayed at this cabin with five of my BEST girlfriends and we had the BEST time ever!” – FlipKey Traveler

From hiking and mountain biking to shopping and dining, Asheville boasts something for everyone in your group. When planning the itinerary for your girls’ trip, leave time to visit the city’s thriving microbreweries (New Belgium Brewing Company is a must!). You’ll also want to climb Black Balsam Knob and watch the sunset while sipping a glass of wine at the Biltmore Estate, George Vanderbilt’s historic country estate. Whether you choose a cabin with a view near the Blue Ridge Parkway or a hip apartment downtown, you’ll make memories that will last a lifetime during your Asheville stay.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Theology

See all Asheville rentals on FlipKey!

Laguna Beach, California

With its beautiful beaches and laid-back vibe, Laguna Beach serves as a fabulous girls’ trip idea for those seeking fun in the sun. Take a dip in the dazzling Pacific Ocean then enjoy a picnic lunch at Heisler Park. The town’s spectacular clifftop setting provides the perfect backdrop for outdoor exploration and ample group photo-ops. When you’re not basking in the California sun, pamper yourself at the spa or unwind by the firepit at your rental for a sweet dose of relaxation!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa

See all Laguna Beach rentals on FlipKey!

America’s Top Girls’ Trip Ideas

Savannah, Georgia

Saratoga Springs, New York

Wilmington, North Carolina

Fredericksburg, Texas

West Palm Beach, Florida

Newport, Rhode Island

Paso Robles, California

Sag Harbor, New York

Charleston, South Carolina

San Antonio, Texas

Nashville, Tennessee

York, Maine

Aspen, Colorado

Asheville, North Carolina

Laguna Beach, California

*FlipKey is a TripAdvisor company. Our algorithm analyzed all vacation rental reviews on TripAdvisor—which includes FlipKey’s properties—to identify the top-rated destinations. 

The post 15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

[kevingbakeruk]

15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There

According to travel reviewers on FlipKey, these US spots have the top-rated vacation rentals for hosting a girls’ weekend getaway. 

USA’s Top Girls’ Weekend Getaway Ideas

Millions of travelers have written about their bachelorette weekends and annual girlfriend getaways, so we dove into their reviews to identify the most popular girls’ trip ideas in the country. Put simply, our algorithm analyzed every property review on FlipKey* to identify the destinations with the highest-rated rental homes for hosting a girls’ trip. Whether you’re looking to head to the beach, visit a spa, or dance the night away in the city, we’ve spotlighted 15 of our favorite places (and their must-visit spas!) that are sure to offer an unforgettable girls’ weekend.

Once you’ve chosen your destination, use FlipKey to find the right rental for the right price. Booking a vacation home will score you extra bedrooms and bathrooms, while many also offer fun extras like private hot tubs, fire pits, beach gear, and more. Whether you’re searching for an urban oasis or waterfront condo, you’ll find plenty to choose from for your girls’ weekend getaway.

So, what are you waiting for? Call up your girlfriends and pack your weekend bag—we bet it won’t take much convincing once they see our list of top spots for a girls’ trip.

Savannah, Georgia

“This house is beautiful and impeccably kept! We will be returning next year for another girlfriends weekend—hopefully for many more birthday celebrations!” – FlipKey Traveler

Relaxing on vast verandas, sipping mint juleps, and touring historic antebellum mansions—Savannah is the picture of the ultimate girls’ weekend getaway. Known for its Southern charm and abundant hospitality, it’s one of the oldest cities in Georgia and a popular spot for travelers, young and old. Explore Savannah on foot, pose for a photo in Forsyth Park, or dine on fresh seafood and creamy grits. No matter what you choose to do during your stay, everyone in your group will agree that Savannah is the ideal spot for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Bleu

See all Savannah rentals on FlipKey!

Saratoga Springs, New York

Grand old Victorians, natural springs spas, spirited nightlife, and thrilling horse races: Saratoga Springs has everything a girl needs for a one-of-a-kind weekend with the girls. The Upstate New York destination’s bubbling mineral springs put it on the map, and today city’s the waters are still touted for their healing powers. Spoil yourself at the Roosevelt Baths and Spa after the adrenaline rush of betting on horses at the Saratoga Race Course. Use your down time to sweat it out on a jog around Congress Park or unwind in the comfort of your vacation rental. With so many things to do in Saratoga Springs, you might need two trips!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Complexions

See all Saratoga Springs rentals on FlipKey!

Wilmington, North Carolina

There’s no better way to relax and recharge than by spending 48 hours at the beach in Wilmington with your best girlfriends. Tucked away on the picturesque coast of North Carolina, this spot offers countless things to do. When you arrive, head to the Riverwalk, a central location for checking out the local shops and restaurants, and explore this scenic mile of boardwalk. Later, pamper yourself at the spa or acquaint yourself with the local history at Bellamy Mansion. Whether you choose to rent a spacious home in the historic district or a coastal retreat on the water, you’re sure to enjoy a carefree weekend getaway in Wilmington!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Coastal Massage & Bodywork

See all Wilmington rentals on FlipKey!

Fredericksburg, Texas

“Myself and a few of my girlfriends rented The Painted Buffalo for my bachelorette party in Fredericksburg, and it was over the top spectacular!” – FlipKey Traveler

Situated in the heart of Texas Hill Country, Fredericksburg is a small city with big-time charm. It’s known for its authentic German heritage, which is celebrated by the town’s music, architecture, festivals, and more. Kick off your girls’ weekend getaway with a stroll down Main Street, browsing the boutiques and sampling German pastries at bakeries along the way. The surrounding region is home to renowned vineyards where you and your girlfriends can tour wineries and taste the local blends. Wrap up your trip with a visit to the spa for luxurious treatments that will leave you positively refreshed.

Our Top Spot to Relax: European Day Spa of Fredericksburg

See all Fredericksburg rentals on FlipKey!

West Palm Beach, Florida

Planning a girls-only weekend in West Palm Beach? You’re in for a treat! With nearly perfect year-round weather, trips to the beach are a must during your girls weekend here. Lather on the sunscreen and bask in the Florida warmth. When you need a break from the sun, saunter down the palm-lined streets of downtown West Palm Beach where you’ll find a treasure trove of designer stores and unique boutiques. Make sure you save some energy for a night out on the town, thought—the nightlife in West Palm Beach is unrivalled!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Kaffee’s Garden Spa

See all West Palm Beach rentals on FlipKey!

Newport, Rhode Island

“Perfect place for a weekend with friends. Would love to come back again.” – FlipKey Traveler

Whether you live in New England or it’s been on your travel bucket list for years, Newport is an idyllic setting for your next girls’ trip. From touring the town’s opulent mansions nestled along the Rhode Island coastline to wine tasting at a local vineyard, there’s no shortage of things to do. Rent an apartment near the cobblestone streets of downtown Newport to be close to restaurants and shopping, or book a home near the ocean and fall asleep to the sound of waves lapping the shore—you can’t go wrong!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Lockstar Salon & Spa

See all Newport rentals on FlipKey!

Paso Robles, California

“It was the perfect location for a weekend with the girls and wine tasting!” – FlipKey Traveler

Sip, relax, repeat: experience the most perfect weekend getaway with your girlfriends in Paso Robles. Located just north of San Luis Obispo, this destination is known for its exquisite wineries and thriving olive groves. Whether you spend the weekend exploring the local vineyards or soaking up the California sun from your rental’s backyard patio, Paso Robles doesn’t disappoint. This burgeoning new wine country is just the place for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Roux

See all Paso Robles rentals on FlipKey!

Sag Harbor, New York

Located on beautiful Long Island and nestled within the prestigious Hamptons, Sag Harbor should be on everyone’s list for a girls’ trip. The area is legendary for its wealthy enclaves and celebrity sightings, but you don’t have to be a superstar to vacation here. Plan your trip for the summertime and experience the town bustling with activity, or visit during the offseason when the crowds are gone and vacation rental prices drop.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Xavier

See all Sag Harbor rentals on FlipKey!

Charleston, South Carolina

“I pulled into the driveway and just said ‘WOW!’ We spent hours on the back porch and enjoyed the very inviting pool area. My high school girlfriends and I enjoyed this lovely home!” – FlipKey Traveler

It’s no surprise that Charleston makes our list of the best girlfriend getaways in the U.S. Bursting with Southern charm and home to a flourishing food scene, historic landmarks, and much more, girls and guys alike flock to this coastal city from all over the country. Snap a group photo in front of Rainbow Row, shop the stalls at Charleston City Market, or relax along the water’s edge at Riley Waterfront Park. Your trip to Charleston can be as relaxing or action-packed as you and your girlfriends want it to be!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Sweet 185

See all Charleston rentals on FlipKey!

San Antonio, Texas

Looking to let loose with the girls? Then consider San Antonio, a vibrant city in central Texas. Famous for being home of the Alamo (it’s a must-visit while you’re in town!), San Antonio also boasts award-winning chili (its signature dish), historic landmarks, and thrilling nightlife. When you’re not exploring the city, relax at a spacious home just minutes away. Book a girls’ weekend getaway in San Antonio, and you might end up staying longer than planned!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Loma de Vida Spa & Wellness

See all San Antonio rentals on FlipKey!

Nashville, Tennessee

“Pictures live up to the real thing!! Will definitely return in the near future, this time with family, so that they can get the great experience the girls and I had!” – FlipKey Traveler

Plan a girls weekend getaway like never before—from spirited honky tonks and historic music venues to five-star dining, Nashville offers non-stop fun for everyone. Tap your toes to live music at the Bluebird Cafe or explore the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum to learn about country music’s greatest artists. When you get hungry, hop from barbecue joint to barbecue joint along Broadway downtown. Now all you need to do is find the perfect Nashville rental for your girls’ weekend.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Escape

See all Nashville rentals on FlipKey!

York, Maine

With your besties by your side, step onto the sandy beaches of York, and let your worries wash away during your girls weekend getaway. Grab coffee at a cafe downtown then explore the beautiful coastline on foot. Scenic cliff walks and beachfront paths provide spectacular views of rippling waves, endless blues skies, and Cape Neddick Light, an authentic Maine lighthouse still in use today. If that’s not relaxing enough, head home for a lobster feast (Maine is famous for its lobster!), and unwind in the comfort of your cozy beach cottage.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Euphoria Salon and Spa

See all York rentals on FlipKey!

Aspen, Colorado

No matter what brings you to Aspen—whether it’s the scenic mountain setting, thrilling outdoor adventures, or the cozy taverns—this destination is the ideal place for girls’ weekend getaways. Often thought of as a winter wonderland, Aspen has plenty to do all year long. Visit before the snow arrives and take a horseback tour of the iconic Maroon Bells, a favorite spot for wildlife-watchers. Planning a winter escape? Rent a lodge near the slopes and take advantage of fresh powder daily.

Our Top Spot to Relax: O2 Aspen

See all Aspen rentals on FlipKey!

Asheville, North Carolina

“Relaxation and fun all in one place! I stayed at this cabin with five of my BEST girlfriends and we had the BEST time ever!” – FlipKey Traveler

From hiking and mountain biking to shopping and dining, Asheville boasts something for everyone in your group. When planning the itinerary for your girls’ trip, leave time to visit the city’s thriving microbreweries (New Belgium Brewing Company is a must!). You’ll also want to climb Black Balsam Knob and watch the sunset while sipping a glass of wine at the Biltmore Estate, George Vanderbilt’s historic country estate. Whether you choose a cabin with a view near the Blue Ridge Parkway or a hip apartment downtown, you’ll make memories that will last a lifetime during your Asheville stay.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Theology

See all Asheville rentals on FlipKey!

Laguna Beach, California

With its beautiful beaches and laid-back vibe, Laguna Beach serves as a fabulous girls’ trip idea for those seeking fun in the sun. Take a dip in the dazzling Pacific Ocean then enjoy a picnic lunch at Heisler Park. The town’s spectacular clifftop setting provides the perfect backdrop for outdoor exploration and ample group photo-ops. When you’re not basking in the California sun, pamper yourself at the spa or unwind by the firepit at your rental for a sweet dose of relaxation!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa

See all Laguna Beach rentals on FlipKey!

America’s Top Girls’ Trip Ideas

Savannah, Georgia

Saratoga Springs, New York

Wilmington, North Carolina

Fredericksburg, Texas

West Palm Beach, Florida

Newport, Rhode Island

Paso Robles, California

Sag Harbor, New York

Charleston, South Carolina

San Antonio, Texas

Nashville, Tennessee

York, Maine

Aspen, Colorado

Asheville, North Carolina

Laguna Beach, California

*FlipKey is a TripAdvisor company. Our algorithm analyzed all vacation rental reviews on TripAdvisor—which includes FlipKey’s properties—to identify the top-rated destinations. 

The post 15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2017/10/28/best-weekend-getaways-girls-trips/

[mrrolandtfranco]

15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There

According to travel reviewers on FlipKey, these US spots have the top-rated vacation rentals for hosting a girls’ weekend getaway. 

USA’s Top Girls’ Weekend Getaway Ideas

Millions of travelers have written about their bachelorette weekends and annual girlfriend getaways, so we dove into their reviews to identify the most popular girls’ trip ideas in the country. Put simply, our algorithm analyzed every property review on FlipKey* to identify the destinations with the highest-rated rental homes for hosting a girls’ trip. Whether you’re looking to head to the beach, visit a spa, or dance the night away in the city, we’ve spotlighted 15 of our favorite places (and their must-visit spas!) that are sure to offer an unforgettable girls’ weekend.

Once you’ve chosen your destination, use FlipKey to find the right rental for the right price. Booking a vacation home will score you extra bedrooms and bathrooms, while many also offer fun extras like private hot tubs, fire pits, beach gear, and more. Whether you’re searching for an urban oasis or waterfront condo, you’ll find plenty to choose from for your girls’ weekend getaway.

So, what are you waiting for? Call up your girlfriends and pack your weekend bag—we bet it won’t take much convincing once they see our list of top spots for a girls’ trip.

Savannah, Georgia

“This house is beautiful and impeccably kept! We will be returning next year for another girlfriends weekend—hopefully for many more birthday celebrations!” – FlipKey Traveler

Relaxing on vast verandas, sipping mint juleps, and touring historic antebellum mansions—Savannah is the picture of the ultimate girls’ weekend getaway. Known for its Southern charm and abundant hospitality, it’s one of the oldest cities in Georgia and a popular spot for travelers, young and old. Explore Savannah on foot, pose for a photo in Forsyth Park, or dine on fresh seafood and creamy grits. No matter what you choose to do during your stay, everyone in your group will agree that Savannah is the ideal spot for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Bleu

See all Savannah rentals on FlipKey!

Saratoga Springs, New York

Grand old Victorians, natural springs spas, spirited nightlife, and thrilling horse races: Saratoga Springs has everything a girl needs for a one-of-a-kind weekend with the girls. The Upstate New York destination’s bubbling mineral springs put it on the map, and today city’s the waters are still touted for their healing powers. Spoil yourself at the Roosevelt Baths and Spa after the adrenaline rush of betting on horses at the Saratoga Race Course. Use your down time to sweat it out on a jog around Congress Park or unwind in the comfort of your vacation rental. With so many things to do in Saratoga Springs, you might need two trips!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Complexions

See all Saratoga Springs rentals on FlipKey!

Wilmington, North Carolina

There’s no better way to relax and recharge than by spending 48 hours at the beach in Wilmington with your best girlfriends. Tucked away on the picturesque coast of North Carolina, this spot offers countless things to do. When you arrive, head to the Riverwalk, a central location for checking out the local shops and restaurants, and explore this scenic mile of boardwalk. Later, pamper yourself at the spa or acquaint yourself with the local history at Bellamy Mansion. Whether you choose to rent a spacious home in the historic district or a coastal retreat on the water, you’re sure to enjoy a carefree weekend getaway in Wilmington!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Coastal Massage & Bodywork

See all Wilmington rentals on FlipKey!

Fredericksburg, Texas

“Myself and a few of my girlfriends rented The Painted Buffalo for my bachelorette party in Fredericksburg, and it was over the top spectacular!” – FlipKey Traveler

Situated in the heart of Texas Hill Country, Fredericksburg is a small city with big-time charm. It’s known for its authentic German heritage, which is celebrated by the town’s music, architecture, festivals, and more. Kick off your girls’ weekend getaway with a stroll down Main Street, browsing the boutiques and sampling German pastries at bakeries along the way. The surrounding region is home to renowned vineyards where you and your girlfriends can tour wineries and taste the local blends. Wrap up your trip with a visit to the spa for luxurious treatments that will leave you positively refreshed.

Our Top Spot to Relax: European Day Spa of Fredericksburg

See all Fredericksburg rentals on FlipKey!

West Palm Beach, Florida

Planning a girls-only weekend in West Palm Beach? You’re in for a treat! With nearly perfect year-round weather, trips to the beach are a must during your girls weekend here. Lather on the sunscreen and bask in the Florida warmth. When you need a break from the sun, saunter down the palm-lined streets of downtown West Palm Beach where you’ll find a treasure trove of designer stores and unique boutiques. Make sure you save some energy for a night out on the town, thought—the nightlife in West Palm Beach is unrivalled!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Kaffee’s Garden Spa

See all West Palm Beach rentals on FlipKey!

Newport, Rhode Island

“Perfect place for a weekend with friends. Would love to come back again.” – FlipKey Traveler

Whether you live in New England or it’s been on your travel bucket list for years, Newport is an idyllic setting for your next girls’ trip. From touring the town’s opulent mansions nestled along the Rhode Island coastline to wine tasting at a local vineyard, there’s no shortage of things to do. Rent an apartment near the cobblestone streets of downtown Newport to be close to restaurants and shopping, or book a home near the ocean and fall asleep to the sound of waves lapping the shore—you can’t go wrong!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Lockstar Salon & Spa

See all Newport rentals on FlipKey!

Paso Robles, California

“It was the perfect location for a weekend with the girls and wine tasting!” – FlipKey Traveler

Sip, relax, repeat: experience the most perfect weekend getaway with your girlfriends in Paso Robles. Located just north of San Luis Obispo, this destination is known for its exquisite wineries and thriving olive groves. Whether you spend the weekend exploring the local vineyards or soaking up the California sun from your rental’s backyard patio, Paso Robles doesn’t disappoint. This burgeoning new wine country is just the place for your next girls’ trip!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Roux

See all Paso Robles rentals on FlipKey!

Sag Harbor, New York

Located on beautiful Long Island and nestled within the prestigious Hamptons, Sag Harbor should be on everyone’s list for a girls’ trip. The area is legendary for its wealthy enclaves and celebrity sightings, but you don’t have to be a superstar to vacation here. Plan your trip for the summertime and experience the town bustling with activity, or visit during the offseason when the crowds are gone and vacation rental prices drop.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Salon Xavier

See all Sag Harbor rentals on FlipKey!

Charleston, South Carolina

“I pulled into the driveway and just said ‘WOW!’ We spent hours on the back porch and enjoyed the very inviting pool area. My high school girlfriends and I enjoyed this lovely home!” – FlipKey Traveler

It’s no surprise that Charleston makes our list of the best girlfriend getaways in the U.S. Bursting with Southern charm and home to a flourishing food scene, historic landmarks, and much more, girls and guys alike flock to this coastal city from all over the country. Snap a group photo in front of Rainbow Row, shop the stalls at Charleston City Market, or relax along the water’s edge at Riley Waterfront Park. Your trip to Charleston can be as relaxing or action-packed as you and your girlfriends want it to be!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Sweet 185

See all Charleston rentals on FlipKey!

San Antonio, Texas

Looking to let loose with the girls? Then consider San Antonio, a vibrant city in central Texas. Famous for being home of the Alamo (it’s a must-visit while you’re in town!), San Antonio also boasts award-winning chili (its signature dish), historic landmarks, and thrilling nightlife. When you’re not exploring the city, relax at a spacious home just minutes away. Book a girls’ weekend getaway in San Antonio, and you might end up staying longer than planned!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Loma de Vida Spa & Wellness

See all San Antonio rentals on FlipKey!

Nashville, Tennessee

“Pictures live up to the real thing!! Will definitely return in the near future, this time with family, so that they can get the great experience the girls and I had!” – FlipKey Traveler

Plan a girls weekend getaway like never before—from spirited honky tonks and historic music venues to five-star dining, Nashville offers non-stop fun for everyone. Tap your toes to live music at the Bluebird Cafe or explore the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum to learn about country music’s greatest artists. When you get hungry, hop from barbecue joint to barbecue joint along Broadway downtown. Now all you need to do is find the perfect Nashville rental for your girls’ weekend.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Escape

See all Nashville rentals on FlipKey!

York, Maine

With your besties by your side, step onto the sandy beaches of York, and let your worries wash away during your girls weekend getaway. Grab coffee at a cafe downtown then explore the beautiful coastline on foot. Scenic cliff walks and beachfront paths provide spectacular views of rippling waves, endless blues skies, and Cape Neddick Light, an authentic Maine lighthouse still in use today. If that’s not relaxing enough, head home for a lobster feast (Maine is famous for its lobster!), and unwind in the comfort of your cozy beach cottage.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Euphoria Salon and Spa

See all York rentals on FlipKey!

Aspen, Colorado

No matter what brings you to Aspen—whether it’s the scenic mountain setting, thrilling outdoor adventures, or the cozy taverns—this destination is the ideal place for girls’ weekend getaways. Often thought of as a winter wonderland, Aspen has plenty to do all year long. Visit before the snow arrives and take a horseback tour of the iconic Maroon Bells, a favorite spot for wildlife-watchers. Planning a winter escape? Rent a lodge near the slopes and take advantage of fresh powder daily.

Our Top Spot to Relax: O2 Aspen

See all Aspen rentals on FlipKey!

Asheville, North Carolina

“Relaxation and fun all in one place! I stayed at this cabin with five of my BEST girlfriends and we had the BEST time ever!” – FlipKey Traveler

From hiking and mountain biking to shopping and dining, Asheville boasts something for everyone in your group. When planning the itinerary for your girls’ trip, leave time to visit the city’s thriving microbreweries (New Belgium Brewing Company is a must!). You’ll also want to climb Black Balsam Knob and watch the sunset while sipping a glass of wine at the Biltmore Estate, George Vanderbilt’s historic country estate. Whether you choose a cabin with a view near the Blue Ridge Parkway or a hip apartment downtown, you’ll make memories that will last a lifetime during your Asheville stay.

Our Top Spot to Relax: Spa Theology

See all Asheville rentals on FlipKey!

Laguna Beach, California

With its beautiful beaches and laid-back vibe, Laguna Beach serves as a fabulous girls’ trip idea for those seeking fun in the sun. Take a dip in the dazzling Pacific Ocean then enjoy a picnic lunch at Heisler Park. The town’s spectacular clifftop setting provides the perfect backdrop for outdoor exploration and ample group photo-ops. When you’re not basking in the California sun, pamper yourself at the spa or unwind by the firepit at your rental for a sweet dose of relaxation!

Our Top Spot to Relax: Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa

See all Laguna Beach rentals on FlipKey!

America’s Top Girls’ Trip Ideas

Savannah, Georgia

Saratoga Springs, New York

Wilmington, North Carolina

Fredericksburg, Texas

West Palm Beach, Florida

Newport, Rhode Island

Paso Robles, California

Sag Harbor, New York

Charleston, South Carolina

San Antonio, Texas

Nashville, Tennessee

York, Maine

Aspen, Colorado

Asheville, North Carolina

Laguna Beach, California

*FlipKey is a TripAdvisor company. Our algorithm analyzed all vacation rental reviews on TripAdvisor—which includes FlipKey’s properties—to identify the top-rated destinations. 

The post 15 Best Girls’ Weekend Getaways Across America—And Where to Relax While You’re There appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from The FlipKey Blog http://ift.tt/2i9QY2A

[livingcorner]

The 13 Best Ways to Utilize Chili Peppers • The Chili Life

In this post, you will learn what to do with chili peppers! For many chili growers, it’s the end of the season! And I don’t know about you, but I’ve been rather successful growing my peppers indoors!

This year I got so much chili fruits, ranging from mild to super hot. Don’t misunderstand me, It’s not like I think that getting a lot of peppers is a bad thing. We are growing chili peppers because we want to have a lot of nice chilies, right?!

You're reading: The 13 Best Ways to Utilize Chili Peppers • The Chili Life

Yes, the season is over, and for many, it ended one month or two ago. For me, it is soon over but I keep picking one or two peppers out of a few of my plants.

Some gardeners, both cultivating peppers indoors and outdoors, end up with more than a dozen or two of ripening pods. Especially if you are using a good soil mix (see my soil mix recipe, for instance).  It may be Poblanos, Jalapeños, Habaneros, or Carolina reapers.

What to Do with Hot Peppers

Maybe you were like me, more successful than you anticipated, and you can’t help wondering…

What are the uses of Peppers?

There are of course many uses of peppers: you can dry them, freeze them, make chili powder, a chili stew, a hot sauce, chili jam, salsa, guacamole, and chili poppers. If you ended up with a lot of chili peppers, read this post to learn about 13 uses of hot peppers.

What can I Cook with Chilies?

I’d say that you can cook anything using hot chili peppers but you can make fresh and cooked salsa, chili stew, soups, pulled pork, and many more. Read this post for more inspiration.

Thus, this section is dedicated to exploring what you can do with your hot peppers!

1. Pickled chilies

One of the first thing I like to do with hot peppers is to pickle them! It’s very easy to pickle vegetables and chilies are no exception. A pickled jalapeño on your tacos add a bit of extra hotness to it. I typically slice a bunch of chilies 1-2 cm thick and soak them in salted water (i.e., brine). Add whatever spices you like.

For example, I’ve used coriander seeds and garlic. Make sure you put the seeds and garlic in the bottom of the jar!

Pickled peppers the “wrong” way.

2. Dry your peppers

Now, the second thing on the list of what to do with hot peppers is to dry them! Now, one awesome thing with dried peppers is that they will still have full of flavor! Furthermore, they can be stored for a long time and it’s not that hard to dry them.

Read more: How to Pick the Best Type of Mulch for Your Landscape

I typically take a needle and thread, pull the thread through the pods, and hang it in the window. You can also use your oven to dry the pods. Finally, you can, of course, use a food dehydrator (see here, for an overview).

3. Chili powder

In this section, you are going to learn what we can do with dried chili peppers.

This is, of course, connected with drying your chilies. After you have dried your peppers you can make chili powder of some of them. Everything you need is probably right in your pantry!

You can use it in your favorite chili, a delicious meatloaf, and pasta dishes. In fact, you can use it to warm your feet now when the winter is coming (see number 13).

A basic pepper powder recipe:

Remove the stem, cut your chilies in halves and remove all seeds. Wear gloves if you are using hot peppers!

Toast the dried pods in the oven (170 C) until they smell toasted and are pliable. Make sure you turn them once in a while.

Throw your peppers in a spice grinder or a blender. Mix until you have a powder.

Put in a glass jar and use it in your dishes later.

4. Freeze your chili fruits

One thing you can do with your peppers is to freeze them for later use. In fact, freezing your fruits is a very good way to store them. The peppers can be put in the freezer whole or cut in halves. I have sometimes minced the peppers also.

Will freezing the pods make the flavor die? Well, in my experience they are almost as good as fresh. But, of course, nothing beats eating using fresh chili.

5. Make a hot sauce!

Who doesn’t enjoy a hot sauce?! I certainly love adding some Tabasco sauce or sriracha to many of my meals. There are many ways to cook up a hot sauce! I like fermented stuff. A lot! So I have experimented with fermenting a mash of peppers, garlic, onion, and spices.

In my latest hot sauce, I used a banana! It’s still going through the fermentation process so we’ll see how it tastes!

See my Carolina Reaper Banana Sauce for some inspiration!

6. Create a chili jam

I love a good jam together with a delicious cheese! When I got 50-60 Jamaican Bell (Bishop’s Crown) peppers and wondered what to do with all of them I realized something. They were quite mild and had a nice taste so why don’t make a tomato chili jam?! Said and done, my vegetarian tomato chili jam was a success when I brought it to my job.

Tomato Chili Jam

7. Fresh salsa

A delicious Mexican dish is something I rarely say no to. A good fish taco served with fresh salsa is really something I can’t resist.

There’s something about the fresh ingredients in uncooked salsa that makes it make my taste buds just explode. Sometimes I also grow tomatoes and making use of your homegrown chilies and tomatoes is never wrong. 

Here are two recipes for you:

Pico de Gallo

4 Minute Restaurant Salsa

8. Cooked salsa

I do prefer a freshly made salsa but if you have a lot of chilies and/or tomatoes you may want to be able to enjoy a good salsa all year round.

This makes canning your own salsa is a great way to preserve your chilies and have quality salsa also during the winter.

Here are two recipes for you:

Canned salsa

Canned Tomato Salsa

9. Guacamole

Fish tacos with salsa AND guacamole?! I’d never say no to that either. Buy 2 fresh organic avocados, one lime, and use your homegrown tomatoes and cilantro (or buy organic). Remove the skin of 2 tomatoes, chop them finely, and mash them together with the avocado.

Add lime juice, a pinch of cilantro, cumin, olive oil, and salt. Don’t forget to use one or two of your nice peppers. It all depends on how hot you want your guacamole. Yummy! If you are lazy, like me sometimes, you can put everything together in a blender and just mix it!

Here are some guacamole recipes for your inspiration:

Guacamole

Chunky Guacamole recipe

10. Chili poppers

Now, this is an excellent way to answer the question about what to do with hot peppers? Why? Well, because I love cheese. And I love peppers. One of the most delightful, and easy, ways to use chilies is to make chili poppers! Buy your favorite cheeses like Parmesan, and cream cheese.

Read more: Common Spider Controls: Remedies For Spiders In Gardens

Grate the hard cheese, if you use it, and mix together with cream cheese, minced garlic, and bread crumbs.

Cut your peppers in halves and fill them with cheese. Put them in the oven at 190 C (preheat the oven, of course) and bake for 20-25 minutes. Delicious!

11. Make a delicious chili!

I think that Mexican food is delightful! This may be very obvious for many of you guys. Dried, frozen, or fresh, your peppers are a great addition to a hot chili stew.

I typically grow Poblanos and dry them. A chili is a great way to make use of your dried chilies: soak them in water for some time before cooking.

See this recipe, for example, making use of dried chilies. You should also try my delicious vegan chili recipe using a fresh Habanero pepper. Flavor, depth, and heat! Yummy!

That was the 11 different uses for chili peppers that I have tried. The next two 2 bonus uses I find very interesting. I have not yet tried them, however.

12. Heat your freezing feet during the winter.

Here’s a quite weird use for chili peppers that I have read about. Use your homemade powder to make your feet warm in the cold times during winter. Just put the powder in your socks and it’s suppose to warm your feet. I have yet to try this out but I sure will. It will soon be cold where I am!

13. Pain-relieving cream.

I have read a lot about the potential health benefits of eating chili peppers. The chemical that makes peppers hot, capsaicin, can apparently be used to relieve pain. Among many other things, of course, but that is a different story (or blog post).

To make a capsaicin cream, all you need is a tablespoon of your homemade chili powder and 5 tablespoons of coconut oil. Blend the oil and cayenne into a cream.

This cream should be massaged on the areas you’re experiencing pain. If you made Just be sure to wash your hands afterward. You don’t want to get hot pepper into your nose or eyes! It hurts, trust me!

That was the 13 best ways to use your chili peppers! If you are using very hot peppers, make sure you use plastic gloves. I made that mistake once when chopping up Apocalypse Scorpion Chocolate pods and will never forget to wear gloves again…

Now it’s your turn. What are your favorite use of all the beautiful and flavorful chilies you grow?! Leave a comment below!

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Garden

source https://livingcorner.com.au/the-13-best-ways-to-utilize-chili-peppers-the-chili-life/

[arplis]

Arplis - News: 2020-04-26

As we all watch this incredible scenario play out, it’s safe to say that no one can really believe the far-reaching effects of this pandemic. Loss of life and livelihood are everywhere. It’s up to all of us to help stop the spread of Covid-19. People like those in the healthcare industry are doing an incredible job, putting themselves in harm’s way to help others. My sister is one of those. She is an endoscopy specialist in London usually away from the main part of the hospital. But she is now working as a general nurse with people suffering with Covid-19. Her courage – and the courage of others like her – deserves all of our respect… and whatever we can all do to help control the spread of this disease honours their bravery. For us, Christina and I have decided to self-isolate. We have elderly and at-risk friends and family, and the thought of passing this terrible illness on to them horrifies us.  Remaining isolated and continuing to tell stories and (hopefully) entertain is what we can do to help the situation. So here’s what we’ve been up to in our isolation. And if you’re also on lock-down, we’ve got some tips on how to make the most of your isolation. Stay safe, keep dreaming of distant lands… and keep washing your hands! Cheers – Jim & Christina x The hardest thing about isolating is staying indoors a lot, especially when the day’s as pretty as this. But isolation doesn’t mean you have to live like a hermit.  As long as you’re careful, avoid any close contact and choose places that aren’t busy when you go out, you should be ok.  The worst part of this virus isn’t that you might catch it; it’s that you might pass it on without knowing. That’s the part that scares us. Christina and I are lucky that we have this beautiful garden at our disposal. After a long day of being cooped up inside, we’re enjoying a delicious glass of vino and a few games of backgammon. If you have a favourite board game (not Monopoly), now’s the chance to bring it out.  It looks like Christina and I won’t be travelling again any time soon, so we’re doing some of the things that we’ve wanted to do but haven’t been home long enough to finish. My chilli plants have started pumping out crops and crops of fruit, so I’m drying them to make chilli oil. It’s very easy – find a sunny window and just hang the chillies up by their stems. I’ve used a length of picture wire. They take between three days to a week to dry completely. Then you chop them up and put them in a jar of oil. After a week or so, you should have a tasty spicy dressing. Tonight, I’ve cooked up an Indian curry for dinner. Just melting a blob of butter into the saag tarka dhal with my blowtorch. Nothing like a bit of food theatre! One thing we’ve changed that’s made a big difference to our days in isolation is we’re eating up to the dinner table more. Rather than eating on the sofa in front of the TV, this change of scenery helps with the tedium of being stuck at home. We’ve also started a new thing where we put on music that represents the food of the country. Spotify has playlists specifically for international food! Tonight is obviously Indian music, but other nights we’ve played Italian classics (That’s Amore!) for our risotto and French cafe style tunes to go with our cheese plates. It’s fun and a way to travel without leaving the house. I love getting into the kitchen and this isolation is creating the perfect opportunity.  Christina’s about to tuck into one of my signature sausage rolls for lunch. These are super easy by the way. Frozen pre-rolled puff pastry sheets and sausages with the skins removed.  Lay the sausage meat on the pastry, roll it up and seal it and whack it in the oven (180ºC for about 15 minutes). Before you cook them, these freeze really well too by the way. Cook them from frozen at 160°C for about 25 minutes or until the pastry is golden brown. It’s important to keep doing the things you normally do – especially those that make you happy. Thankfully we have plenty of gin, dry vermouth and olives in the house at the moment for martini o’ clock! Back in the kitchen, I’m baking my weekly loaf of bread. You can use regular flour but strong bread flour is better. Then you can add all the seeds and things in as you go. If you’re interested, I’ll be sharing my recipe and method for baking bread later this week – though if you’re thinking of baking your own, best start hunting for baker’s yeast now – there seems to be a shortage for some weird reason. If there’s one thing I am genuinely happy about it’s my wine club subscription to Cupitt Estate. These guys – with their beautiful cellar door in Ulladulla, NSW – make superb wine and are still sending out their top picks. This is a great way to keep your wine stash topped up and also to help local producers. If you have a favourite winery, why not look into whether they have a club you can join or if they’re still delivering? Tonight, we’re enjoying a bit of cheese with one of our new wines from Cupitt’s – the Slaughterhouse Red – a Shiraz Cabernet blend – while we finish this surreal miniseries on Netflix. If you’re looking for a really weird show to watch, check out the Tiger King.  Travel tips for self-isolation So much of travel and our motivation to see the world is based on creating memories, so why not tap into those memories you’ve already made and revisit some of the incredible places you’ve been to? Whether that’s just looking through old travel photos – or even making them into an album you can have pop up on your TV when it goes on standby, or making a dish that you ate while you we were away (like the taralli from Puglia we made at home) or music that reminds of that time you were away. Here are some other clever ways we’ve found to travel without leaving your house. Visit virtual Chicago Our friends from Choose Chicago tourism board sent an amazing list of things you can see and do just with the aid of wifi. Click here to download the pdf and sit back to explore the Windy City! You can take an architectural tour of Frank Lloyd  Wright’s home, visit the beautiful Art Institute of Chicago, go into the Adler Planetarium, peer into the wildlife of the city’s zoos and aquariums, learn recipes from Chicago’s finest chefs, and even hook into the world-renown music scene here all through the click of a hyperlink. Cook along with Thai chefs and eat like you’re back in Chiang Mai The Thai tourism board – Hug Thailand – is working with Chat Thai, an excellent Thai restaurant in Sydney running live-stream cooking classes on Facebook! Every Friday at 4pm, check out what the kitchen is cooking.  This really reminds me of when we had a cooking lesson in Bangkok recently – the most fun we’ve had on the road! You also get the recipe and can watch the lesson in your own time! Get help with that novel you’ve been thinking about They say there’s a book in everyone, the only problem is never having the time to get it started.  Well, you’re at home now, so why not try your hand? If you’re not sure about where to start, how to get the middle going or what you do to finish, you should check out the online lessons from the Australian Writers’ Centre.  I did a course for feature writers years ago with these guys and it was brilliant. I’m sure their fiction-writing course is just as good. If you can’t go to the places of your dreams, perhaps you can create them.  The AWC also does a course on content creation, which is just about the smoothest segway to my last idea… Start your own blog! One of the main reasons we started Mr & Mrs was so that we could google our own lives! Having a searchable resource online of what you’ve done stops the frustration of trying to remember what you did at Christmas last year. It also started out as a creative outlet for me and a place for Christina to put her beautiful photos.  From that, I’ve turned this into my full-time job and Christina – as well as Hair Romance now runs Photography Romance with her sister Mary. There are so many more reasons to start your own blog too, and if that’s something that interests you, check out our post on how to start your own blog here. It explains the basics of starting up and has advice about hosting (use our special link to BlueHost here), platforms and domains and platforms. We hope you’ve enjoyed this Weekly Edition and that you’re safe and well. Keep your chin up and let’s hope we’ll all be free again soon! Cheers – Jim & Christina xx The post Travel without moving – an isolated lifestyle appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance. #WeeklyEdition #Isolation #Lifestyle #Travel #InstagramDiary

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/2020-04-26