#if you wonder if i use my experiences as inspiration/reference when writing fanfic...yes absolutely lol

[mr-jaybird]

i was talking to my friend recently about a near-death experience i had, and the joke among people who know me well is that i'm "unkillable". to illustrate, a list of many of the dangerous experiences i've had and suffered no longterm physical damage from:

hotel caught fire while i was in it (i was mad i had to evacuate and be interrupted from batman cartoons)

forest fire requiring a several mile evacuation hike with burning ash raining from the sky

scarlet fever as a toddler with a fever of 104 degrees

dropped on my head out of a shopping cart as a baby

nearly drowned in freak rope swing accident on an island in the middle of a lake while swimming without adult supervision

same trip, nearly crushed by a boulder my cousin dislodged while hiking, which came so close to me it scraped some of the skin off my leg

got a staph infection in my chest after a metal bar was surgically implanted in it to break my sternum, am also allergic to penicillin and two other major antibiotics

t-boned by a big truck while driving

attacked by an irish wolfhound

lost a physical fight (multiple times, none of which i started OR finished)

choked on food and had to be given heimlich

fell off a former race horse at a full gallop (this one resulted in whiplash and a broken finger)

kicked in the side by horse that stood over 6 feet at the shoulder and had hooves the size of dinner plates

hit by a car while riding a bicycle (twice...in the same semester)

jumped off the second story of our house, age 3

had large scale fireworks go off around me after being improperly set, shooting rockets directly at us and shattering a glass door

teargassed in a protest turned riot

encountered extremely venomous coral snake, for which antivenin is no longer available, at local park

pack of coyotes appeared while walking from car to vacation house, made it to house before they decided numbers > people size

and finally, got trapped in a concrete pit while lost at college and had to climb out on the rusty set of stairs that were actively in the process of falling off the wall, also having to scale a pointy metal fence at the top of that

how is your life like this??? you ask. i truly honestly have no clue. sometimes i do go looking for trouble, but also, man, trouble just finds me