#if you think theres something defined that truly applies to you it would benefit you to do your own personal research and archiving anyway

[yuwuta]

What is enmeshment?? Plss I don't have tiktok

Also, what the anon said about loving your opinions i agree!! I'm always nodding my head in agreement too. I wad about to send an ask just saying wow I wish I was well articulated like you :')

How can I be só eloquent help

first omfg thank you? i don’t know if i would say i’m well articulated, i often feel like my words and thoughts are mushy and repetitive so i don’t have any real advice other than to do what i do: hate passionately and ramble to who will listen 😭 it serves a cathartic purpose, but over time, you’ll also be able to pinpoint why you feel the need to say what you’re saying, and how to get people to understand you

in short, enmeshment is the concept where a family has no personal or emotional boundaries, and often the emotions of one person (usually a parent/caregiver) overwhelms the emotional and autonomous development/expression of the others. colloquially, you might see it as people who talk about “emotionally incestuous” caregivers or nightmare MILs. on tiktok, a woman shared her experience with her relationship and marriage, and how it ultimately ended because she believed her husband’s family was enmeshed and their involvement/intervening into their personal lives/marriage ultimately pushed them to get divorced

it’s a real thing that happens, but people have been taking that one woman’s story and chiming in about their experiences with their in-laws who might not be so pleasant, and blanketing it as enmeshment, too; but—and i don’t mean to sound like i’m invalidating other people’s experiences—more often that not, what people are describing is either a general lack of boundaries (NOT developmentally enmeshed) from the in-laws, the general inability of the storyteller to set boundaries and/or permanent external locus of control, or just plain bigotry from the in-laws. the latter two points are really what’s annoying me because way too often people hear about a term or an experience, and apply it to themselves and share with/influence others on social media without fully understanding the label they’re applying, or just misuing it all together. your bigoted in-laws aren’t hard to deal with because your husband’s family is enmeshed; it’s because they’re bigots 😭 application of psychotherapeutic concepts isn’t going to erase that