#if you think I'm not in tears over this tiny interaction you are wrong because i absolutely am

[tuttle-did-it]

Was in a zoom meeting and had my pronouns (they/them) listed. Got a private message from I'm guessing someone (let's use the name Harry, not real name) in early-mid 70s, asking what that meant. Briefly explained why I use them and what it means to me.

Harry replied 'okay.'

A few minutes later, Harry asked if that also included wearing clothes of the opposite gender. I replied that some people do, and some people don't, but I don't think of it as 'opposite gender,' as I don't really fit either binary. So I'm both and neither. That it didn't have to be a yes or no.

Harry replied 'okay.'

I continued working for another twenty minutes or so before Harry wrote back asking if anyone can be a they/them or not because the things I said resonated and felt true, or if there were requirements to meet.

I told Harry there were no real rules on this and if anyone wanted to, that was okay.

Harry said 'okay.'

Went back to writing. Put everything on mute, worked for a while, head down. When I came back, Harry had exited the group, and returned with they/them pronouns in their zoom name.

Harry, wherever you are (probably not on tumblr), I wish you all the best. May your journey continue.

[lovebugism]

AH HI!! so... i love the way you write ditzy!reader, and especially with steve idk it just warms my heart yk? The way they interact 😭 it's so lovely

Since I'm an angsty girly at heart, I thought about a situation where steve gets a teeny tiny bit frustrated with ditzy!reader, but it's just seconds, even less than that but it's enough to make her upset for making him upset but also a super fluffy moment between both of them and steve being mesmerized by her and just so much in love

ahh thank u lovie! pls enjoy!! — steve gets frustrated with his sensitive gf and makes up with her accordingly (hurt/comfort, established relationship, 2.7k)

fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

You keep Steve company during the last half of his shift like you always do. 

He’s grumpier than usual, though — all pouty and visibly brooding. 

You plop yourself on the front counter of Family Video and ask him what’s wrong, and he tells you that the day’s been hell and he’s just tired. There is no “but I feel better now��� like there usually is when he’s upset but doesn’t want you to think it’s your fault. 

The “because you’re here” is typically implied. 

Not so much now.

You’re having the complete opposite day of your sulking boyfriend. Yours had been dreadfully boring, or at least you say it had been, but you find a million different things to tell him. You’re too excited after having spent so many hours without him, like a dog with a wagging tail. You’ve got the zoomies of the mouth, if you could even call it that.

“—And then I saw the cutest dog on the way over here. His name was Cappy, and he was huge, and the owner was so nice. He even let me pet him, and he literally felt like a cloud— the dog, not the owner.”

Steve is used to this. The whole rambling about nothing thing. He loves it about you, actually. It took him ages to coax you out of that shell after your asshole ex told you that you talked too much, convinced you that no one cared about what you had to say.

You’re more comfortable now, and Steve loves that you are, but right now he just can’t concentrate.

Keith’s been on his ass about inventory all day, and he just learned how to do it on the old, bulky computer this morning — but only after Robin made him an hour late to his shift. Everything’s just too much now. He’s overwhelmed to the point of spontaneous combustion. 

For the first time ever, you’re not helping.

“—And, like, I know when we move into our apartment, we’re technically not allowed to have pets, but like… What about a fish? Or a turtle?” you wonder aloud but don’t stop to let him answer. Sitting on the edge of the counter, you kick your feet and flit your eyes to the spotted ceiling. “What if I start feeding the deer in the woods, and they just start showing up at our backdoor? ‘Cause technically—”

“Babe, please,” Steve snaps suddenly when your sneaker knocks his chair. He’s buzzing with anger, and even though it’s not because of you, he doesn’t know where else to put it.

Your eyes go wide at the newfound bite in his tone. He’s not shouting at you, but it makes your heart stop like he is. You feel like a kid again, getting scolded for being “too much.”

“…What?” you squeak.

Steve sighs. A deep, heavy sigh. It doesn’t remove the leaden weight from his chest, though. 

“I’m… I’m really trying to concentrate here, and you’re just— you’re making it really hard,” he tells you through gritted teeth, trying hard to keep his composure.

You deflate like a popped balloon. “Oh…”

He can hear the waver in your tone, the way your voice sounds wet with unshed tears. But he’s too overwhelmed — internally raging and selfish with it. His sweltering temper makes his woe feel more important than yours.

“Yeah, so… Can you just— go bother someone else for, like, five minutes?” he asks, fists clenched on either side of the clunky keyboard, his gaze concentrated on the pixelated screen. “Robin’s probably sulking in a corner somewhere. Go find her.”

Your face crumbles like a balled-up piece of paper. Your chest gets all tight, and your eyes start to burn when tears gather behind them.

You’d always been a flower of melodrama — blooming eternally and constantly sensitive. So when Steve cut you off as you fantasized about a family of deer living in the backyard of an apartment you were supposed to share together, it felt like a knife in your chest. 

The irrational thought that he no longer wanted any of that with you was fleeting and vivid and burning. Irrational, still.

But now you’re annoying him. He’s told you as much, with an unusual harshness he’s never spat at you before. And now your fears feel much more real.

“I’m bothering you?” you ask him, barely intelligible through the whimper in your throat.

Steve huffs again. His elbows thunk against the desk when he puts his head in his palms, swiping his fingers through his hair like he always does when he’s antsy. 

“I just really need to get this done,” he tells you, softer now. He makes himself mad all over again, though, and gets sharper once more. “I need to finish this before I get fired, and then we have no apartment to move into because we have no money, alright?”

There it is. The root of all his anger. A lingering feeling of inadequacy. 

He wants a life with you, but all he’s got is a measly Family Video salary — which he’s lucky to have apparently, because he can’t seem to do anything right. It stirs like a fire in the pit of his stomach.

After another deep breath, he finally turns to look up at you. His honey eyes are wet and stern. The chiseled edges of his features are sharp. Gently, he pleads. “I really need to work here, babe.”

You nod, understanding and internally weeping. “Okay. I’m— I’m sorry, I was just— I’ve been missing you all day, and I got too excited, I think,” you confess, wringing your clammy hands in your lap like a scolded child.

“Don’t apologize,” Steve says with a huff, leaning back against the squeaking swivel chair. It’s old and has lost all its cushion. His stiff back aches all the more. There’s no relief, to any of it. 

He sits back up again and puts his unsure hands back on the keyboard. “Just— Just go, okay? Let me finish this.”

He leaves little room for argument.

You wouldn’t, though, even if you wanted to. Which you do. You’re just not strong enough.

—————

Steve tells you to go, but you end up in the kiddie corner across the store. 

Mr. Rogers puts on a bright red cardigan and sings a tune that makes you feel like crying. You sit on the color-blocked carpet, surrounded by block toys, and clutch a stuffed bunny to your chest. You can’t tell if the vintage VHS is making the screen blurry or if it’s the tears gathering heavy at your waterline.

Robin walks by you, does a double-take, and immediately reports to Steve.

“What did you do?” she interrogates with narrowed eyes, strolling up to the counter with a cart full of tapes to put away.

The hearty tap, tap, taping of the keyboard fills the silence. 

Steve doesn’t look at her until he’s finished up the last of his work. Only when it’s fully and finally complete does his hardened gaze dart to her. “What are you talking about?”

“Your girlfriend. She’s upset.”

“What do you mean she’s upset?”

Robin rolls her eyes at his obliviousness. “I don’t know. She’s singing the Mister Roger’s theme song and, like, crying. It’s weird.”

Steve’s brows pinch. His heart does, too. “Crying?”

“Well— not crying, exactly. It’s this really weird blubbering thing.” She fails to explain it so she tries to imitate it. A sobbing, sniffling sort of noise. She fails at that, too. Her scrunched face goes back to normal. “Like that.”

Deadpanned, Steve nods. “Wow, Robin. That was really helpful. Thank you.”

“Just go comfort your girlfriend, dingus.”

Steve still thinks she’s joking. Robin doesn’t lie, but she does have a tendency to overemphasize the mundane. 

He goes to see you anyway, though, and doesn’t think twice about any of it — about what Robin said or what he had said to you before that.

He finds you in the kid’s section, in front of the tiny television, surrounded by brightly colored toys. He smiles at the sight of you, exhaling a sharp laugh through his nose.

“What are you doing all the way over here, huh?” he questions to announce his arrival, which you seemingly hadn’t noticed. “This area is usually for kids, ya know? Well, kids and Dustin Henderson.”

He doesn’t sound as annoyed with you anymore. You’re grateful for that much, but you still feel a bit sick about the whole thing.

Your nervous hands pick the cotton of the fuzzy bunny in your arms. You keep your gaze on the television in front of you, but you aren’t really watching it anymore. “I used to watch this stuff a lot growing up. The nostalgia sorta makes me wanna puke. But, like, in a good way.”

Steve scoffs. “Well, maybe we should turn it off then, ‘cause if I have to clean up vomit after the day I’ve had, I might actually go insane.”

He’s kidding. Mostly. The universe tends to be cruel like that, but he’d clean up all your messes a thousand times over if he had to.

He laughs at his own joke as he crouches to sit down next to you. He bends his knees, props his arms on top of them, and looks over at you. You don’t crack a smile for him, which is weird because you always laugh at his jokes. Even the ones that aren’t funny. Especially the ones that aren’t funny.

His smile ebbs to a wavering half-smirk as he knocks his shoulder with yours. “You okay?”

You think for a moment, jutting your lips out, unblinking at the television screen. “No,” you answer after a few seconds of silence. “But I’ll get over it. I think.”

Your honesty makes his heart wrench — like you’ve wrapped both your tiny hands around the beating organ and squeezed. It knocks the breath out of his lungs, a fish so ruthlessly pulled from the water. He tries to speak through the sudden lack of air. “Wh—What happened? Was it… Did I do something? Did you—”

“No,” you cut off his stammering with a firm shake of your head. “I did something.”

“Oh,” is all he says, pink lips pouting and wide eyes darting. “What does… What does that mean? Did you, like, step on a rogue VHS or something? ‘Cause I do that all the time, and technically, that’s Rob’s fault for leaving them out, so—”

You shake your head again, digging your nails into the delicate cotton of the well-loved stuffy in your arms. “No. I was just— I was botheringyou, and now I feel bad,” you confess, all quiet like a meek child who’s learning what it means to be sorry.

Steve — your oh, so oblivious one — goes aflame with embarrassment. He’d been too clouded by his own anger to recognize the venom spilling from his mouth; to understand that it would inevitably hurt you.

With chiseled features twisted in confusion, he shakes his head and stammers. “What? No! You weren’t— You weren’t bothering me!”

You turn to look at him, for the first time since he sat down beside you. Your eyes are glassy and swimming with hurt. You try to keep your trembling features stoic. You don’t want to seem as hurt by it all as you really are. 

You feel like you should, anyway. What right do you have to be sad when you were the one being a bother?

“You said I was,” you remind him, still soft but sterner now. “You told me to go bother someone else—”

“Oh, babe…” Steve says, deflating just as you had. 

He knows how sensitive you are, how deeply you feel things. You’re vulnerable, raw — it makes everything feel more personal than it really is. It makes grumpy jabs from your dumbass boyfriend hurt like a lemon on a weeping wound.

He tries to apologize, knowing that he hurt you and that it’s not up to him to decide that he didn’t. 

“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to, babe,” he murmurs, swiping a tense hand through his hair and then gesticulating wildly with it. “I was just being a dick, you know? I’ve been super stressed all day and—”

“Don’t apologize. I was being annoying.”

Steve blinks at you with wide, wet eyes — like you’ve hurt him by talking so cruelly about yourself. 

“Baby, no. No,” he urges, ducking down to meet your gaze when you look away from him. “I’m just an idiot, okay? I put off inventory until the last second, and Keith’s been on my ass all day about it, and I just— I took that out on you, and that’s not fair, and I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, pursing your bitten lips to the side and twisting the long ear of the bunny between your fingers. “It’s not your fault, Steve…” you murmur, almost inaudibly.

He scoffs. It sounds like a bitter laugh. “Well, actually, it kinda is.”

“I just… I don’t really understand what’s going on sometimes. Or, like, a lot of the time,” you admit with a distracted gaze, eyes flitting everywhere but to the boy beside you. You’re too ashamed to look at him now. “And it’s harder for me to know when I’m talking too much, you know? Or if I’m being super annoying.”

“I know…” Steve nods, trying his best to be sympathetic of you. He loves how soft you are — too much to understand you completely. He loves how gently you treat the rest of the world, how unusually giddy you get in your gentleness. 

You swallow through a tightening throat and shrug to pretend your world doesn’t feel like it’s crumbling around you. “And I don’t care about annoying other people— well, I do, but it’s different with you, you know? Other people can’t break up with me for being too much.”

“The idiot that told you you were too much had exactly zero personality,” Steve tells you, mostly because he means it but also to see you smile. 

You do, just barely. A grin so soft only someone deathly in love with you could see. 

“You’re never annoying me, okay? Ever. I love hearing you talk. I love having you around.”

“Yeah?” you ask him, blinking back burning tears.

“Hell yeah! You’re, like, the best part of my day! The only good part of my day, now that I think about it.”

Biting back a grin, you tease, “Well, what about Robin?”

“Robin made me late today, so we’re kinda not friends right now.”

“That’s mean,” you scold despite the growing smile on your face.

Steve shrugs. “We’ll make up before I clock out. No big deal.”

You go suddenly shy, smiling sheepish and tilting your chin to your chest to peek at him through your lashes. “Are we gonna make up before you clock out?” you wonder quietly.

“Only if you’re willing to forgive me for being an insufferable douchebag,” Steve answers, only half-joking. He very seldomly feels worthy of your softness.

You look at him with it, anyway. 

Full on beaming now, you reach across the short distance to wrap him in a firm embrace. The position is only slightly awkward. Sitting side by side with your asses on the hard carpet, your arms wound tightly around his neck — a bit like a snake smothering its prey. 

Steve feels grateful to be held so ardently. 

His nose smushes into your neck. The sweet scent of your perfume entwines with the warm scent of your sweater. He smiles into your shoulder when it makes you giggle. You pull back from him then, just to steal a quick peck a moment later. Your lips smack audibly against his grin.

“Can we make out before you clock out?” you lilt with a shy smirk.

“…That is the single best idea I’ve heard all day.”

Your giggle fills the empty store when Steve rises suddenly and pulls you with him. He leads you toward the back, tugging you by the hand down the short corridor and rambling all the way. “Keith left for the day, so his office is empty, which means it’s fair game—”

“I am not making out with you in Keith’s office!”

“But his desk chair is crazy comfortable, and also, he’s a dick, so… who cares?”

[myechoecho]

The Double, Ep 15-16

I loved these two episodes!

Of course they met at the brothel. What's interesting here is that Li is the one to instigate the bit of flirting because she thinks he's here to see her. Which yes, he thought he'd see her in Luyang just not at a brothel. When the Wu Lan interrupts them and deliberately gives Li the wrong impression, Li is hurt and yes, jealous, that he's really there on business and not explicitly there to see her.

The Duke does not know how handle the mess Wu Lan deliberately created and desperately wants to fix it with Li. But the Wu Lan takes pity on him and tells him that Li is jealous. Which gives him pause and hope that Li does have feelings for him.

One thing I love the most about the Duke is how much he believes in Li and respects her intelligence. He chastises his underling when he thinks he is underestimating Li. "You never learn your lesson. Why do you still dare to underestimate her?". He doesn't know what Li will do, but he does trust her to do it.

The Duke knows why Mr Li invites him to watch the "play"at Lizheng Hall. He sees Li there and just waits. Once Li finally makes her move, he really sits up and pays attention. When Mr Li expresses surprise that Li would stand up for the Ye family, he basically tells him in his Duke way to shut up and pay attention. Li hasn't even started yet.

He loves watching her display her intelligence; he's turned on by it. Look at his face when she stats to tear the official apart:

I love their little interaction after the play. Neither want to give an inch. And while the Duke does get tiny, slight upper hand, he relents and asks her "Can you just let me let me win for once?". Which essentially acknowledges the power she has over him. Still, he does explain who Wu Lan is, as much as he's able to. Judging from Li's smile, she is happy with this explanation and that he wasn't at the brothel for carnal reasons.

At the same time, she refuses to let him know that she understood his message so he's left wondering.

I love the drinking scene! The Duke drops everything, though his investigation is coming to a critical point, to go to Li. He at first was going to let her do her thing, but then she asks him to drink for her. He started to reply that she should beg him and before he can finish, she does beg. He's surprised by this. Once he confirms that it won't be on her tab (which lets be real there is no tab where she is concerned despite what he says), she agrees to let him take over the drinking.

I like how the under lord cannot figure out if the Duke is her saviour or enemy. Even more, the under lord has a tie to the Duke's father. Li and the Duke's differing agendas are getting more and more intertwined.

Despite being drunk, Li still has enough sense to realize that she'll need to do something. It did not escape my notice that in her inner monologue she refers to the Duke by his name, Xiao Heng. I'm not even sure knows she did this. She comes up with the plan to use the fireworks and gets the Duke to shake the dice.

He immediately knows that she's has a plan and does it without hesitation. Once he understands what she's doing he's again turned on and proud of her. I think he likes seeing this side of her, the one that is more free. He also takes the time to ask what is most important on his mind - is she still upset with him?

I am so excited for the next episodes.

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

(Opinions Guys Idk)

Bruce Wayne has been a father for over ten years.

He's delt with any issue children vomiting on his shoes runny noses tears he's got you.

He's also buried his children been covered in their blood helped calm down panic attacks. He might not be the best but he's always tried.

There is however one tiny thing that he can say he's never prepared for no amount of contingencies ever can make him ready.

Any form of high society interaction with Tim.

Watching his third son with a smirk that's deadly convincing the richest to give practically all they have to him.

Manipulating board members, blackmailing politicians.

He looks so much like his mother.

Bruce sees his other children they look uncomfortable he once watched Stephanie yell at Tim that she doesn't understand him that he's horrible for doing it.

Jason calling him a rich prick which he was grounded for not that it has ever stopped his second son.

Another gala happened tonight the entire family was present and now watching once again all of his children even sweet Dickie lecturing Tim.

"Seriously Timmy it's just a little much don't you think"

"Boy Wonder that was disgusting who taught you to act like that"

"Timbers I'm all for fucking with people but what the fuck"

He sees the heartbreak painting Red Robin's face he can feel his own reflect it.

His tiny little sweetheart who learned at his mothers knee, his baby boy who works so hard for the company. Who's done tremendous things the only one of them to actually get the respect of the people of Gotham he can't watch it.

"That's enough," Growls out of him.

All of his children freeze looking at him Damian who has remained quiet looking at his brother with nothing but respect turns hurt masked.

"Your brother did amazing tonight, in a way this was an oversight on my part none of you were specifically trained how to act around the Gotham elite. Tim was raised by Janet Drake who was known as the dragon of Gotham".

They start to shift confusion practically pouring out of them.

He looks straight at Tim as he walks forward placing his hand on his shoulder.

" I might not alway agree with how your mother raised you I wish she did a lot differently sweetheart."

A sharp smile begins to paint both Tim's and Damian's faces.

They understand that he is speaking to both of them the only two to really understand.

"But she raised you to know that power that you hold to be able to rule which isn't something I could your siblings are wrong." He turns to glare especially at Stephanie and Jason.

"I'm not saying what you did is right morally it can be questionable however you both know what to do in situations like that experience that none of your siblings could ever have."

He breathes knowing he might anger his children throwing in their faces that they weren't born with silver spoons they have to fight and claw to be where they are.

"This is both Damian and Tim's territory neither are going into crime alley or the narrows and telling you what to do. You don't get to complain about how they were raised or how they handle situations you have no prior knowledge of." He sees that at least Dick is understanding a light entering his eyes

----------------

So this is the beggining of a story kinda talking about the difference between how Damian and Tim were raised compared to everyone else.

This was something me and a mutual have been working on but we are disagreeing about it.

They think it's fine I don't know.

Could I get opinions because I personally think it is fascinating how Tim is raised versus others not in a negative or positive.

However I think the way we have done some of it mind you this is almost a twenty chapter fanfiction. Might be slightly not good.

I wanted to explain how Tim and Damian would have an advantage their mother raised badass sons who know how powerful they can be.

They were raised rich and with the world at their fingertips but I think we made it sounds very bashy I need thoughts please let me know.

This is only not even a chapter but I wanted to give something of reference.

I think the privilege is slightly too heavy handed and it makes it sounds like the Rich are better idk. 

[jiminiecrickets]

How about a drabble (seven days a week) where jk thinks oc is cheating on him but it is a misunderstanding?

sfw.

jungkook is going fucking insane.

who's he? who's she? why are you looking at your phone during movie time? whose blond fucking hair is on your jacket?

after bottling it up for almost three weeks, he thinks he can handle it. you'll tell him why you're so distracted, why you're rescheduling date night so often. he'd paced a hole into his bedroom floor and unnerved jimin so badly he had to leave and find comfort in hoseok, who popped his head in later to ask him softly if he needed a drink of water or someone to talk to.

no, he'd said, all scoffs and waving hands. that's ridiculous, why would he need someone to talk to? there was nothing to talk about!

then he goes over to yours – without letting you know – and finds more pale blond hairs on the black suit jacket thrown carelessly on the edge of the couch. he hears you scuffling about in the bedroom.

"no, baby. that's my boyfriend's. don't touch that."

you chuckle softly, and jungkook inches closer. his heart pounds. "come back to the bed. right here." you pat your thighs.

he squeezes his eyes shut and exhales shakily. abruptly, he rounds the corner. "what the fuck, hyung!"

"shit!" you startle, head whipping in jungkook's direction. on your lap, a small round furball yaps and one paw slips off your lap, nearly sending it tumbling down. you catch it in your arms and pull it to your chest.

a dog. a fluffy, cream-coloured puppy.

"a-ah – hey, baby! you didn't message me, did you? crap, did i miss it?" you pat your pockets. your phone's in the kitchen. "i can explain... wait, kook – baby, why're you crying? what's wrong?"

you wrap him in your arms and he melts into your tight embrace, hot tears gathering along his lashes and streaming down his cheeks. he squeezes you, palms flat against your back, and lets out a tiny sob.

"it's okay, baby. it's okay. whatever it is, we can get through it, alright? you're okay. you can tell me."

"n-no," he hiccups, balling your shirt in his fists. "it's stupid."

"are you hearing yourself? your feelings are never stupid. c'mon – spit it out, yeah?"

he covers his face and lets out a particularly embarrassed wail, half-sobbed with a flood of relief. "i thought you were cheating on me!"

"you thought i was – wait – darling, why?" you realise something. "oh, shit, it was because of date night, right? i'm so sorry. i had to go to the shelter to adopt her because they were running out of space and she would've been sent somewhere else or put down if they couldn't find a home."

"i-it's a girl?" he sniffles, rubbing his eyes.

you smile softly and hold him tight, stroking his hair. "yeah. her name's missy, but if you want, we can train her to another name."

he shakes his head into your shoulder, burying his fingers in your skin. "missy... is it short for anything? is she a little lady?"

"whatever you want. i haven't registered her with the council yet because she's not quite three months."

"missile launcher."

you pause.

you blink.

"jungkook?"

"hm?" he gazes up at you, and you wipe the remnants of his tears with the pad of your thumb.

"you want to name our dog... missile launcher?"

"well, i was also thinking jav, since it's got harder sounds and might be easier for her to recognise, but i like missy. it's cuter."

"jav... as in javelin?" you say, deadpan. "the javelin rocket launcher?"

"mhm!"

"i think we should stick with just missile launcher."

"okay," he says happily, and bobs down to the little puppy's height. she'd been hanging around your ankles for some time, staring up at him with a wagging tail and round dark eyes. he offers a hand for her to sniff and giggles when she nudges her forehead under his palm, demanding pets.

you take a seat on the floor of your bedroom as jungkook interacts with the tiny floppy-eared sweetheart, watching with warmth in your chest. jungkook beams as she clambers into his lap and over his knees, using him like a playground.

"while this turn of events makes me very, very pleased, i'm still a little upset you didn't tell me earlier," he says, scratching the puppy behind the ears. "promise me you'll tell me if you adopt any more dogs?"

"i promise."

"pinky promise?" he leans over and lifts his pinky. you smile and lean in, hooking your pinky around his and shaking solemnly on it.

"pinky promise."

[fragileizywriting]

it's very very believable that hawkmoth would probably go after therapists at some point, right? like, surely lady noire's got issues. he sees it in fights how she holds back punches but just crackles with heat. she legit looks like she'll wring his neck the moment they come into contact with one another.

some poor therapist must know about this, right? like, even hawkmoth knows that mental health is all the craze of these youngsters (at his age of course, no one believes in therapy. maybe nathalie does? but she's twenty years younger than him and doesn't count? probably why he's like this. regardless.)

so he goes after therapists.

akumatizes them over and over all across the city, trying to get the therapist that would probably know who lady noire is. he doesn't think he'll get mister bug's therapist because the man doesn't look like he has all that many problems, so he keeps pushing. from his brief interactions with lady noire, maybe she has anger issues. he remembers mister bug asking if she took her meds because she's scatter-brained, so maybe ADHD-specific.

she corners hawkmoth one day. he's never felt more fear in his life than at the edge of her bo staff. though she's tiny, and small, and he really doesn't remember just how much of a mini-menace she is until they're standing right in front of each other and she's two-thirds his height.

"i know what you're doing," she starts, so calmly and so plainly that he doesn't understand at first. the noise of her fist tightening ever so slowly on her staff will ring in his ears for years to come. "but it's not going to work."

he manages a grin, trying not to look thrown. "you sound so sure."

she smiles. her gaze alone is peeling him apart, layer by layer; nothing about his hexleather is keeping him safe from her, and that's nothing compared to the serrated glass she keeps hidden away as her teeth. he knows better than to assume those fangs are normal. "unfortunately for you and everyone in this city, i'm not getting help."

what?

what?

"does mister bug know?" he blurts out.

"i think he's always known."

"you don't see anyone for this?"

"does that disappoint you?" her voice is so obnoxiously dry. "your grand plan to go after health-care workers until one of them coughed up a patient policy you'll use to find out our identities?"

"why don't you see anyone for this? you're getting more violent," he tries again.

"no thanks to you."

"you've been more frustrated."

"anything else you want to tell me that's already obvious?"

"i can help."

though she makes no move to lower her hand, the amusement on her face is a good sign. humoring him, even if it's briefly, is enough for him. "hawkmoth is actually a therapist?"

okay. he can work with this. "don't you want to channel this anger into something more productive?" he tries, attempting to get closer. "you could be destroying anything and anyone you want, no questions asked; anyone who's ever wronged you could finally be put in their place, and i know that you have gripes with people. the entire city knows. i've seen your anger get worse and worse whenever you fight lila. you could be—"

"—it'll be productive enough to rip your throat out."

back to square one. on instinct, he takes a step back, getting closer to the brick wall.

"it'd be so easy," she continues, taking a step forward. cornering him like prey. "you wouldn't feel much. i'd make it clean-cut, or maybe i'd just do it with my teeth instead of my hands. tear you open..." like she's tasting the scent of blood in the air, she breathes in slowly. "you were smart to keep your collar high on your suit, but it won't be of any use against me, and you know that already. just like children hide behind blankets so that monsters don't get them."

his heart is racing, adoring the way she sounds so deranged. that soft voice of hers, corded in her very own hexleather and steel, sharp and aching like she'd just gotten out of a very good cry.

what was she crying about?

how come he hadn't heard it when he was searching for someone to akumatize?

was it something so heavy that it was completely off his radar? negative feelings are nothing but parasitic thoughts stuck in the spider-web string he casts across the city, looking for someone to infect and multiply those terrible thoughts— are lady noire's feelings so deep and so horrible that she's incapable of getting stuck in the silk threads he has all around Paris?

how... interesting.

how... marvelous.

maybe it's time to see just how hard he can push.

"you're here right now." with a gesture, hawkmoth throws his cane down on the floor. it rolls into a puddle made of sludge and grease, but he's more focused in the way her eyes track it. "i'm vulnerable. i'm here. you haven't used cataclysm so you don't need to leave, and i'm not interested in chasing someone who escapes out of my reach no matter how hard i try to follow. why don't you give in and do it now? why don't you give in?"

"i don't because mister bug tells me not to."

"oh," he laughs. "i see. he's holding you back, you know."

"and isn't that a blessing?"

"you should give into temptation, lady noire."

a split-second movement and he thinks she's about to. though her shoulders are tense and that fist of hers is undoubtedly whitening over that bo staff underneath her suit, she lowers it back to her side. heart racing, nearly bursting out of his chest, he gasps on instinct and flinches; completely backed up against the wall, he's frozen in place.

she hides her bo staff behind her back and turns, facing away. "the day i do is the day you lose and die. it'll be the happiest day in my life, and i can't wait for it." in the silence, though he's breathing hard enough for the two of them to hear those haggard breaths, she smiles. "and i have very good reasons to keep you alive. mister bug is rather fond of you."

"what?"

"who would've guessed someone would have that much empathy?" she shrugs. "just another reason why he's the owner of that miraculous, not me. sleep well, hawkmoth."

[almostfancywombat]

Amias Story 2

(still no title)

Turning around, Amias was met by a horrendous sight. With her red tracksuit, Lucinda all but blended with the horrendous drapes, dressed like a middle-aged aunt who claimed only wine as her personality. Spurring the Tia Agenda, she was relatively wealthy, dull, and would probably spend her later years yelling at managers and carrying a tiny chihuahua in an expensive purse. Behind her stood Lucian, staring down at his phone. He brought up a hand to wave, then ruffled his crinkle-cut hair. Amias flinched, expecting a scolding. Lucian wasn’t prone to it, but he did do something to invoke the worst of even the calmest of people. 

Much to his relief, Lucian merely frowned, holding a hand out to silence the excuses. "Practice got canceled, but come next time. We need to practice with you as the coxswain." 

With that solved, there was no need to pry. He moved on to greet Lucinda, who was on the verge of tears. "Are you blaming me because she called you names?" 

"No," Lucian cut in. "We came to look for you. I'm texting your mom that you’re with us." He shrugged then contributed nothing else. 

Amias was unbothered by the information, but unappreciative of being ignored. "Tell me, which Molly is Wig Molly? Hernandez or Cleveland? I can never remember." 

"Your Molly," Lucinda said unsurely. 

"No, not her," Pan dismissed with a wave. She moved to finish her rant, journal set in her lap with her feet propped up on the table. "She's in choir, and Smith-Molly left on a cruise." 

"Then it has to be the one from homeroom." 

Amias shrugged, making a noise of indifference. "Either way, I’ll only talk to Smith." 

Lucinda looked as if she'd like to drown him in her tears. "Why can't you be normal?" She sighed. “You dated and broke up. Stop making things so weird." 

Now it was Amias's turn to act frustrated. "Again, wrong Molly. But do tell, why should I have to interact with her or anyone for that matter? I don't love theatre, so I don't see why you’re so insistent on getting me involved with things." 

"No matter what you're passionate about, she loaned, you ruined. Being civil is basic human decency." Lucinda instantly fired through gritted teeth. She clutched the doorknob, knuckles turning white. "Would it kill you to at least act sorry?" 

"I think my true passion is cruise ship entertainment." Amias stared off dreamily. He could stand to become an entertainer. Or so he thought until he remembered snotty-nosed children and how they would give him the urge to go overboard. That, along with the possibility of an unfortunate death with no leads—he would be murdered—set his mind back in the present. 

Lucinda glared as she stomped over to a booth, dropping her bag into his lap. He flinched from the weight and wondered if her back would ever improve. "Only get the cards because I won't hesitate to call your mom if you mess with my stuff again." 

"Alright, I promise I— Wait, why do any of you have her number?" 

She glared, displaying the contact on speed dial. Hands raised in defeat, Amias smirked and moved to sit atop a table. Lucian followed his sister and offered Pan no greeting. Being a relatively recent addition to the group, they were still awkward. The trio swiftly turned to text in their group chat, the one without Amias. 

"Where's Wren?" Amias asked once they settled, struggling to sound non-accusatory. 

“We were going to bring her,” said Lucian with hints of annoyance. 

Amias felt like a distraught panda handler. Because Wren did little, he had to defend her when the stupidity of others forced her into unfortunate situations. “But?” 

"She ended up staying back with Parker to clean. Some kid threw up in a tuba." 

Amias shook his head, kissing his teeth simultaneously. "I don’t like him being around her." He indeed did not, although it was only due to how terrible of a grudge he held. Tugging Lucinda's bag off the table and into his lap, Amias opened the small flap on the front and fished around. He debated toying with the lighter but slipped it into his pocket before grabbing the stack of cards. He dug around, this time moving to the larger pouch. 

"The design here is nice." 

Lucian, still glued to his phone, said, "I thought she said not to touch her stuff." 

Amias rolled his eyes. "I'm sure I said I'm keeping this. Or does your mother need to know why you have a lighter in the first place?" Because they were apparently racking up brownie points with each other's. 

"Stop." Pan's forehead creased in a frown. Directed at Lucinda, her gaze became pitying. "No offense, but we all know you do it just to look cool around that one senior." 

Amias coughed. Removing the neon pink rubber band, he sent it flying their way. He shuffled the deck, cards passing with incredible speed. Much to his displeasure, they were worn, covered in ink and bent at the edges. He recalled spending a chemistry class decorating them with Lucinda. He wondered why she'd kept this particular set. Did she value his doodles? The thought nearly touched his emotionally inept heart. 

Already disinterested, Amias sat idle. How Lucinda, with her rough sense of vulnerability, had the patience to deal with him was astounding. With only slight doubt, he could say that while his personality was, his looks weren't half-bad. If anything, he was interesting to stare at with his sharp nose and upwards-slanting eyes. The thing Amias didn’t like was how his eyes—paired with his resting smile—gave the impression of kindness, but he supposed people appreciated nice things. 

A loud crash caught his attention, causing him to jolt yet again. The cards in his hands went flying in an arc. He turned to face the commotion as an apology sounded. The amused smile adorning his face only turned to a grimace when he saw the sight set before the entirety of the room. It was Wren, who’d appeared in typical fashion, mumbling apologies. Parker all but deadlifted Wren to her feet before moving to pick lint from her braids, causing them to become frizzy. Amias audibly gasped, scandalized. Wren never allowed anyone besides him to touch her hair! Seeing the ginger handle it so carelessly put him in a rage. 

"Careful," Parker hissed, rubbing his elbow with a string of mom-sanctioned curses. “We don’t need you injuring your hands.” 

"Sorry, sorry," Wren mumbled, barely audible as she scrambled into a seat beside Amias. He released a drawn-out sigh, relieved everyone was too busy to have caught the mishap. 

He was about to greet her when she pulled something out of her cardigan pocket. "Is that a pack of Twinkies?" Amias's tone was firm against his wishes, and he hoped she would pick up that he wasn't mad, only concerned. She pulled away as he reached, tutting at the act of treason. "Give," he demanded. Gluten intolerance was no joke. Though, his inability to stomach dairy was a mere inconvenience. 

"You’re greedy." 

Amias held out his palm once more. "This is defamation. And you; don't be difficult. I'll call your mother." It was an empty threat, as he respected Mrs. Tesarkee to the point of fear. But, despite that, he received a desirous reaction. 

"Since you earned it, I’ll let it pass, but only if you tell me the name of your supplier. I'd like to have a word with them." 

"It's Ms. O,” Wren huffed. “You can't just—” Her already loud voice raised in volume when someone suddenly grabbed her. Parker roughly tore the package from her grasp. Wren squirmed, screeching as she scratched at the pale hands wrapped tightly around her wrist. Then, without looking, Amias leaned over and pried Parker off. 

The ginger smirked as he tore the package open with his teeth, tearing one in half. A sudden wave of anger overcame Amias's calm, but he made no move. If he intervened, it wouldn't end well. Because in the weeks he'd been resisting the urge to fight Parker, he had barely managed to remain indifferent. Internally, he told himself that if he had managed to last this far, then there wouldn't be any weakening wills over junk food. No, this event would add fuel to the fire later. 

He shoved the remainder of the Twinkies into his mouth, grossly mumbling through a mouthful of it. "Oops, none for you." 

Wren sighed, opting to run her fingers over the sequins on her bag. "Parker already ate his, that jerk." She made an odd noise before wiping it away, beginning anew. Then, murmuring to herself, she pulled it closer, her other hand tapping on her thigh. 

Amias immediately knew something was wrong. Lecture forgotten, his focus redirected. "Wren." Names were grounding. "Are you alright, Wren?" He itched to embrace her but knew otherwise. Wren stiffly nodded, flattening down the image as she began to trace out another. Amias prompted the ginger to apologize, eyebrows raised. 

"Not cool," Lucian said, voicing his disappointment in a tame manner. Hesitantly, Amias relaxed. Maybe together, the twins could force an apology out of him. They were probably more than willing to resort to mental torture since no one liked Parker anyway. "You're lucky your aunt's the director, or else I'd tell." 

Parker scowled. "We're just messing around." 

Lucinda's eyes widened in astonishment. "Sure, you were. And Lucian, nothing is stopping you except your cowardice." 

"Then you do it!" 

"If I say anything, Ms. Moore will think I'm the one bullying and make me drop the play. Idiot move when I'm the only one who’s willing to come on Sundays.” 

“You should do it, though." Pan said. It seemed as if they'd forgot she was present. "We have other attractive girls to play tumbleweed number three." 

"I'm a step above your supporting cast role." 

"I run publicity. And, not to be mean, but you overact a lot." 

Displeased with the sudden turn, Amias stepped in to act as a referee. If they wanted to argue, they’d have to do it on their own time. "Enough of this. Girl Bosses shouldn’t be pitted against one another, so I'll be the one informing." Such an eagerness would come at more risk; he had been removed from productions before for the same reason. Nepotism was something terrible in his quest to torment Parker. 

Before anyone could offer a counterpoint, Wren sternly said "No," to which he shot a questioning look. "That'll be the third time he's been reported, and with all his absences, he'll get suspended, and then I won't have anyone I like in band." 

The explanation was a fine reminder of why he should go on with it, but he paused to size her determination. Amias was confident in his gaze, but hers was steadfast. He'd forgotten that she didn't feel embarrassed with prolonged eye contact, which was his only weak point. Deciding to let her think she'd won for now—the counselors would surely hear of it—he shook his head, laughing as the intense look in her eyes faded. 

"Tell me, Wren, what made you late?" Amias asked, changing the subject. 

Wren moved to his side, feet hanging off the edge as she swung them. He adored how close she sat despite the open space. "We helped Ms. O clean up since the janitor left early. She gave me a Twinkie on the way out, and Parker already ate his. Oh, and Molly was there to ask about you and Lucinda. They have beef now, apparently." 

"Wig-Molly?" He asked but already knew and dreaded it. 

"Ex-Molly. We argued and she tried to slap me, but Parker helped." 

He cut her off, Inner Amias creating a note stating to give Molly a piece of his mind. "But doesn't Ms. O know about Wren's diet?” As expected, Wren grew rigid in her seat. 

"She just felt bad for making me clean puke." 

He humorlessly laughed. Sitting back, he continued to flip through the cards. Wren fixated on her backpack's zippers and sequins.  

"Speaking of feeling bad," began Pan, a false sort of carelessness in her tone. It seemed she was trying to take a casual approach. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" 

Wren's bottom lip quivered as their attention went to her. "Grannie died," she plainly said, smoothing a strand of flyaway hair. "I told Amias because I’d miss Solange’s birthday." 

Pan went quiet, contemplating her friendships. Meanwhile, Parker sensed the growing tension and went to bother Lucinda, who was playing a mobile game. The online fight that commenced was somewhat intriguing, but Amias couldn't bring himself to look, embarrassed for Parker, whose face was as red as his hair. At his loss, Lucian erupted into a burst of laughter. 

Parker scratched his reddened cheek. “What’s so funny?” 

"You're a menace." Amias shrugged, stubborn in offering further explanation. Almost as bad as Bear, Inner Amias compared. 

Parker stood, and Amias raised an eyebrow. That was all he did before shaking his head as if to clear it before plopping down with an audible sigh. Amias frowned. Fighting Parker would only bring a headache, but he was bored, and it would offer short-lived entertainment. However, Amias had slight doubts considering how his smarts and slightness were the only reason he had a position on the rowing team, not muscle mass. 

"Amias," came Wren's voice, cutting through the silence. She peered at him from behind her bag, face slightly illuminated by her phone. The glow was a yellow tint, courtesy her blue-light filter. "Solange texted me. I think it's time to leave." 

Amias playfully rolled his eyes but thought to check the time. He pulled out his phone and saw a slew of missed calls and unread messages from his mother. The latter were in French, their official Diplomatic Language. Coupled with the time, his heart stuttered. Perhaps he had been out for too long. 

He announced, "Wren's right. I'll leave now." He slung his bag over his shoulder and shuffled towards the door. With a hand on the knob, he leaned on it. "I'm probably going to get grounded, so can one of you take her home? I don't want to take any longer than I already have." Apologetic, he looked at her scribble away in her planner. He read the large, sparkly print and laughed. Amias is grounded forever? He hoped not. 

"Let's all just go," Lucian said. "Maybe we can get brownie points with your mom." 

"What is up with you and my mother?" Amias whined, but considered the idea. His mother would probably go easier if Wren was there; she liked the girl more than him anyway. "Sure," he said, a bit too hopeful. 

Amias waited for them to shuffle over before throwing open the door. Instead of facing the sun’s reflection on the buildings, there was only a shadowy version of the city. Overheard, the dead streetlights reached up to an inky black sky. Only the moon—blood-red—peeked out from over the horizon. It bathed the world in red, a filter over their eyes. 

Double-checking, Amias squinted at his phone that still read 6:00, the numbers starkly white before it suddenly shut off. Panicked, he tried turning it back on. No luck; he looked at the others, and when they looked just as perplexed, he slammed the door shut. His heartbeat wildly in his chest. He took a deep breath. 

Alright, Amias. You're going to calm down and do that again. It's probably your mother's genetic disease. 

Don't be stupid, make Parker go first, another Amias in his head said. 

He didn't like that one since it'd make him seem less brave. Decisive, he didn't weigh his options before throwing the door open once more, the same red staining his eyes. 

"Oh my God," Lucinda gasped. Her voice was loud and clear despite her whispering. "I knew it! Mercury's a renegade." She said it with so much sincerity that Amias had to resist the urge to punch her. He hated astrology almost as much as not knowing what was going on. 

"Pendeja," her brother spat, lightly knocking her over the head. "It's reprobate. No wonder you failed the English final." 

Amias would've liked to hit them both had their stupidity been the only issue at hand. A strong sense of foreboding consumed Amias as they stepped out. He reached in his pocket for Lucinda's lighter, fumbling with it before a tiny spark ignited from the tip. They squinted, following Amias. With Wren gripping his sleeve, he brandished the lighter as if it were a longsword, sweeping it around with shaky arms. 

No one else thought to speak, save for Pan, a habitual nervous rambler. "Reminds me of what happened in Australia all those years ago." Then, tentatively stepping, she swept her arm around. For as far as they could see, the world was tinted red. "Could it be a sandstorm? I don't think our geography is right for that, but we practical live in an apocalypse, so it's possible." 

"I think we're finally in the end days," Parker said, squinting at the sky. "My meemaw always said, 'Parker, when them end days come, you need to pray for your sins, and the ones of your friends,' because—" 

"Quiet. Your mamie is the least of our—" A clatter from somewhere made the words catch in Amias' throat. Spinning around, he held the light higher, as redundant as it was. The action brought his attention to a larger, dark mass of swirling clouds over the lampposts. It crept forward, almost like incoming fog. 

"Woah," Lucian said, bug-eyed. Shakily, he brought up his phone to snap a picture. His didn't seem to work either, and he chucked it at the abyss. No sound came from the other end, only a hiss discernable over the thumping of their hearts. 

Impulsively, Amias chucked Lucinda's lighter right at it. When the clouds slithered out to grab it, he squealed and stumbled back. 

"I think we should run," Amias grinned. Then, without waiting for a response, he grabbed Wren’s hand and went scampering. Already a few yards away, he could hear Lucinda calling out, then a multitude of footsteps and labored breath joined. He hadn't realized how silent it was, but at the moment, it became deafening. What was going on? Amias did not want to find out. Pushing forward, he blocked the outside world, focusing on Inner Amias, who screamed profanities and curses inspirationally. 

Lucinda took the lead with Parker close behind. Lucian's running held some humor, but Amias knew it wasn't time for jokes. Additionally, he had to focus on his breathing. The dark cloud followed after, everything behind slowly bathed in black so dark that he was sure it was impenetrable by light. A loud crackling resounded from far above, causing the lot of them to wince. The twins nearly doubled over but Pan hooked an arm around them, dragging them along despite how badly she shook. 

"Come on," she muttered. "Run now, cry later." 

That was oddly reassuring. Amias, believing in his safety, made the mistake of looking up, immediately wishing he hadn't. His eyes watered; what seemed to be a downwards bound firework—gold and fiery streaking across the sky—bounded their way. Screeching, Amias ducked and shielded his head, picking up the pace by what felt like tenfold. He couldn't bring himself to utter a word, gasping for breath with the temperature suddenly skyrocketing. Loud hisses came from behind, a volley of sparks falling. Pan yelped when one fell across her path, quickly maneuvering around it. In her haste, she lost her footing. Parker took her in his arms, running in a teetering manner from there on. 

A moment after, Amias noticed he'd somehow migrated towards the front with Lucinda. Her breath came shallow, face flush and drenched in sweat. Briefly staring, he recalled another less athletic member of their group, one who wouldn't be able to keep pace. 

No, he thought, face draining of all color. Inner Amias had a field day demeaning him. Curse his sense of self-preservation! No, no, no! Please don't let it get Wren; I'd do anything for it not to be! Take Parker instead! Skidding to a stop, he swiveled, Pan yelling in protest as Parker carried her off into infinity ahead, inadvertently slamming into Amias’ shoulder. 

Amias winced, rubbing at his arm as he took shaky steps towards Wren. Behind her, the two mysterious forces were the middle of a battle. Clashing against one another, Amias saw sparks fly, raining down on Wren. So close to the edge of the shadow's reach was she, running as fast as possible. His heart did something awful when he noticed how she was only slowing, how the thing was only growing nearer. 

"Wren! Drop your stuff!" He shouted, a hand held out as if it would reach and drag her to safety. "Please, Wren! You're slowing yourself down!" 

Looking on in horror, he saw the cloud lower to surround her, stretching out across the sky to create an impermeable layer of black. Above, the fire-work-like material slammed against it, causing the ground to rumble. Briefly, flashes of light illuminated the area. The short sprout of visibility allowed Amias to watch in utter confusion as the clouds dropped down, obscuring Wren from view. Her screams cut off, and when the thing picked back up, she was gone. 

Amias—ever the impulsive and foolish mess he was—threw his bag to the ground. Yelling obscenities all the while, he dug, searching through the contents for anything that could be of use. His heart fell to his stomach when nothing remotely so came about. 

Making a last-ditch effort, he scrambled upright, feeling his legs and courage falter. Numbly, he tossed his bag at the void. There was no sound of it hitting against the pavement. When the shadow approached him, he allowed it to engulf him. 

The ground disappeared from beneath him. His limbs flailing about in a desperate gamble to ground himself. Where it touched, his skin stung and blistered. Tears prickle the corner of his eyes, then nothing. Sensation faded as consciousness eluded him, the distant screams of his friends joining his for but a moment before everything faded to black. 

[amothersmagik]

⚠️TW: Loss, TTC After loss, etc⚠️

Excuse me while I whine and vent? I am struggling horribly right now as I come out of a period of numbness (my therapist calls it *"disassociating"* 😅🙃) and I need to get these thoughts out.

"I'm okay.

No really.

I swear I'm okay"

Hiccuping and deep trembling breaths.

"Some days are better than others"

Still true, though right now there is snot and tears pouring down my face.

"I'll be fine. I'm healing"

And I was totally fine that day. Until the sun shone through the trees *just right* and I thought about how bad I wished she were here to see it.

"We haven't given up, it will happen when it's supposed to"

Though right now it feels like never....

"Aw your baby is so adorable! I am so happy for you!"

Still VERY true even though I feel this gut wrenching soul tearing bring me to my knees sharp stabbing ache in my very soul everytime your baby giggles, cries, or breathes.

"I had let it rest at the back of my mind"

Until that advert flashed by my eyes and suddenly the rage and despair overtook me like a hurricane with no warning.

Some days I am okay. Truly. I can talk about it. I can be the advocate I proclaim myself to be and talk about all the hard things. I can smile, and mean it, and talk about *someday*.

I can take the crappy advice and condolences of those who have NEVER been here with a smile that only hints of a grimace rather than the annoyed and pained scowl I've felt on my face before (when faced with the same comments on a different day).

Some days I absolutely look to all the world like a well adjusted, healed, happy Momma who takes joy in that which she HAS instead of despairing over what she has LOST.

And then there are days like today. When I did virtually nothing. It wasn't a Bad day. It was a nothing day. I zoned out. I was numb. I laid around and barely interacted with my loved ones.

And then there are the days like two days ago. When my brain replays every moment from the most recent loss. Compares it to previous losses. I think about what's wrong with me that I can't do the one thing a woman's body was originally designed to do? What have I done that God is punishing me so? What could I have done differently to save her? To save any of them?

I replay that moment when my knees hit the tile and I heard this horrible wailing and it took me a minute to realize it was me. (Later that same evening I was apologizing in semi-numb embarrassment to the nurse because they uncomfortably confirmed what I had belatedly realized - the whole damn hospital heard my pained screams that evening in the ER). I can't get the feeling out of my head - that feeling of WRONG as I walked into that ER and EVERYTHING HURT. And I knew before I was even registered what was happening.

I have bad days SO bad, even I wonder if maybe this is me finally snapping. If I've reached the end of what my soul can handle. I sit and I cry over the wind, because it feels warm and rocking her to sleep in the backyard on a warm summer day would have been perfect. I cry because that butterfly was a beautiful light blue like her eyes would have been. I cry because that baby giggle at the park sounded so much like my son, it could have been one of his siblings, had any of them lived.

I cry because my arms are empty and I really wish they weren't.

And as I sit and cry and can't explain what set me off this time because sometimes I don't even KNOW....

Tiny (but somehow so huge) arms encircle my head. Just my head because thats all they can manage. The sloppy-est kiss lands on my forehead. "I love your heart, Momma. You're okay. You're a good Momma"

The tears fall harder but a smile breaks through.

Days go by and I watch him giggle with his friend and get so dirty I have NO IDEA how he will ever get clean again. So I shake my head and huff a laugh. What else can you do in the face of toddler boys playing outside?

My heart soars and heals a little watching his face light up over whatever bug he just found in the grass.... oh geez, that he bringing over to show me 🤢

I take a deep breath and know I'm going to be okay, even though it hurts so bad....because the love of my son is beautiful.

He asked me a couple days ago why we don't talk about her anymore, the baby in Mommas tummy. I explain that she went to be with the Grandpas and Auntie and the kitties. He says "oh thats sad. I love you mumma" and gives me a forehead kiss (which he most definitely learned from watching Daddy too close lol) and runs back to play in the sand box.

Today he fell asleep sprawled on the couch and my husband held me while we stood in silence and just watched him for a moment. We made quiet comments about how much he has grown. It hurt. Because my angels never will. But it healed. Because he is healthy and beautiful and perfect.

He is so ready to be a big brother. We are so ready for another one. I feel soooo crazy. Flopping back and forth between joyous hope and love, blinding numbness, and agonizing despair. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Then daddy (husband) holds me and reminds me how much he loves me and how we won't give up until I say I'm done.

Things will get better. They will. I know they will. Most days I know this and can cope fine...some days are harder than others. Today is numb. But tomorrow will be better.

*[For context: I lost our baby this past Sunday. She was my 9th pregnancy. Our son is our only shared living child and was my 5th pregnancy.]*

[britswriting]

Devotion (5)

Devotion Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

*Leighton's POV*

Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

"Leighton what the fuck? Are you sure you're pregnant?" Aaliyah asked, both of us staring at my three negative pregnancy tests.

"Well what the hell is wrong with me then?"

"Is it the tests? Do we need to buy the pricey ones?" She suggested, both of us just staring at the cheap dollar store tests on the counter.

"It says these work best" I motioned towards the box, a knock on the bathroom door making me jump.

"Leigh? How many pancakes do you want?" Colby asked, my eyes wide.

"Uh....... Three?" I called back, my heart racing as I stared at the pregnancy tests, forgetting he was just down the hall from us.

I heard the floor creak, telling me he walked away.

"Shit" I hissed, "What do I do?! How do I get rid of these?! Do I tell him?!" I frantically whispered.

"I mean, do what you want" She shrugged, not helping me at all.

"Aaliyah! What do I do?!" I frantically asked again.

"Just throw them away"

"But what if he sees?!"

"If he is going through the bathroom trash, we have bigger questions and concerns. Just throw them away"

"But I feel guilty" I frowned, picking up the three tiny sticks off the counter.

"Why? They're negative"

"Because I just took pregnancy tests behind his back!" I worried.

"Do you really think he'd care?" She pressed and I glared.

"Have you met him? — Yes I think he'd care!"

"Then tell him! Stop bitching to me about it"

"But-"

"Oh my god! I'm going to go eat breakfast before it's cold" She left me stranded in the bathroom alone, the negative pregnancy tests in hand.

I wrapped them in toilet paper and threw them out before destroying and tearing up the box, putting that in the trash as well, thankful for the trash can lid we used.

Colby served me my pancakes, Gemma boasting about how she helped and that she even set the table, which made things start to make more sense at how close the plates were to the edges and the forks being upside down.

"You're such a big helper G!" I encouraged, Gemma climbing up onto the chair next to me, grabbing her big kid fork.

I gave Colby a weird look, knowing I always gave her the small plastic ones.

"She wanted to be a big kid" he shrugged, my heart melting and breaking at the sight of the metal fork looking so big in her small hand.

The four of us sat at the table and everytime I watched Colby interact with Gemma, or Gemma copy his mannerisms, I couldn't help but think about if I really was pregnant with his baby.

"Have you had any luck with jobs?" Colby asked Aaliyah, ignoring the daggers I was shooting him.

She shrugged, her shoulders slimmed a bit as she slowly cut her pancake, swirling it in the syrup. "Applied for the waitress job at Joe's. I'm going to try and look online today. I need to find a cosigner for an apartment though so that was my plan for tomorrow" She mentioned and I sent her a supportive smile.

"You know I'm not kicking you out, right?" I reassured her and she nodded, appearing down which made me frown.

"You'll need the room though" she said and my heart dropped as I narrowed my eyes at her, "You know because—" where was this going? "Colby's going to need to edit again at some point" she finished and I let out a breath of relief.

"The room's yours for as long as you need it" Colby also reassured her, getting me to smile at him.

Colby and I took Gemma to the park that was around the block, watching her play with a few of the kids there, Colby keeping a careful eye on her.

"Do you think you'd want more?" I boldly asked, watching his shoulders tense as he looked over at me before back at Gemma.

"Why?" He asked, sounding alarmed.

Oh.

"Was just curious" I murmured.

"Are you pregnant?" He suddenly asked, my whole body freezing.

"W-what?"

"You are, aren't you?" he said, looking back at me, noticing my state of shock.

"Huh?! No!" I quickly shook my head, Colby's face full of confusion.

"Then.... Why the question?" He asked, looking back at Gemma who was playing in the sandbox with a little boy.

"Was just curious" I mumbled, my eyes becoming watery so I looked away.

Did he not want more kids?

"Leigh?" Colby spoke up, his hand on my knee. "Baby? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, sniffling the emotion back, swallowing the lump in my throat before getting up, letting his touch fall off of my knee as I walked over to Gemma.

"Mama!" She grinned, sand flinging out of her shovel as she waved at me.

"Hi baby" I cooed, "Can I join you?" I asked, offering the little boy a friendly smile.

"Yess!" She cheered and I sat down outside of the sandbox, twisting my body to play with the sand.

"Dis my mama!" Gemma giggled to the boy who sent me a sheepish smile when I waved.

"I'm Leigh, what's your name?" I asked, hoping I didn't scare him.

"Ah-ver!" He said and I smiled, nodding.

"Nice to meet you Oliver"

I played with the kids for a few moments before a man approached us and my breath immediately hitched, thinking the worst.

Instantly my walls went up and I was ready to protect these children with everything I had, until the man said the boy's name.

Skeptical, I stood up, not knowing if he could be trusted.

"Dada!" The boy grinned and my shoulders dropped, my breath falling from my lips as I replaced my defensive walls with a friendly smile.

"Hi buddy, did you make a friend?" He asked and Oliver nodded.

"I Gemma!" Gemma introduced, making me chuckle.

"Leighton, her mom" I introduced myself, the man nodding.

"Hunter" he said and I grinned, falling into small talk with the man, turning my head when I felt a hand on my lower back.

"Hi baby, everything good here?" Colby asked and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Mhm" I hummed, Gemma excited to see Colby.

"Coco! Ill-d castle if me!" She giggled, Colby dropping to his knees.

"Hunter, Colby. Colby, Hunter" I introduced, Colby ignoring me as he began to work with Gemma, Oliver pitching in.

"You guys married?" Hunter asked and before I could reply Colby said "yes", confusing me.

"We're engaged" I corrected, quickly flashing my ring before dropping my hand back down.

"Practically married" Colby held his ground and this time I did roll my eyes.

"Ah, I see" Hunter chuckled, a smug look on his face. "Well... it was nice to meet you, Leighton, Colby" Hunter nodded his head at Colby, "Oliver, ready to go?" He asked to which the boy shook his head, a chuckle leaving the man's lips. "Come on bud. We gotta go get your sister"

Oliver reluctantly obeyed, waving at us as he and his dad left.

"You were jealous" I said the second Hunter was out of ear shot, sitting back down with my little family.

"You're mine" Colby shrugged, looking up from the bucket he just flipped, his eyes meeting mine.

"You had no reason to be jealous"

"He was looking at your chest"

"So let him look" I shrugged, Colby glaring at me.

"No. You're mine"

"Colby, it was harmless and I didn't notice so clearly he was subtle about it"

"No you're oblivious, which is fine, but you're also mine" he corrected, my brow furrowing.

"I am not oblivious"

"Baby, I love you, but you are" he disagreed, Gemma off in her own world as she scooped sand into a bucket.

"Whatever" I scoffed, "So what if he was looking at me. I'm a spoken for woman" I grinned, hoping to lighten the mood, but it didn't work.

"I don't want him going home and having mental material for his pleasure" He said and I rolled my eyes, dusting the sand off of my hands before pushing myself off the ground, wiping off my pants at my knees.

I walked away, sitting down on the bench to collect my thoughts, not wanting to argue at the park in front of her.

We walked back home, Gemma stopping every few feet to pick up a rock, showing the both of us, giving it to Colby for safekeeping as we walked.

By the time we got to the apartment, she forgot about the rocks and Colby tossed them into the pebbled sidewalk by the entrance, Gemma excitedly climbing the stairs, her little legs taking big steps which made me smile.

I gave Gemma a bag of goldfish and sent her on her way, Colby grabbing a juice from the fridge, popping it open.

"Are we not going to talk about what happened at the park?" I asked, leaning against the wall between the fridge and island.

Colby ignored me, walking to the living room.

Huffing, I followed him, Colby flipping the TV on.

My jaw clenched, my lips pursed as he channel surfed.

"Are you for real right now?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Cole?! — oh my god! You're unbelievable" I scoffed, turning on my heel towards my bedroom, my brain spiraling with why he was acting like a dick enough.

I sat down on my bedroom floor, leaning against the footboard of our bed, my hands resting against the carpet, pulling slightly at the shaggy feeling.

I sat there for a minute until my stomach cramped, sending an alarm bell to my head, causing me to shoot up off the floor and book it to the bathroom.

I immediately checked to see if I was bleeding heavier, knowing I did when I would cramp, but nothing.

"What the fuck?" I whispered out loud, my finger rubbing against the tender area, coming out clean.

I took a deep breath and washed my hands, thrusting open the door, Colby's back to me as he scrolled through his phone, the TV on as apparent noise.

I joined Gemma in her room where she had a baby doll and her stuffed cow from when we went to the farm.

"Can I play with you baby?" I asked, sitting down on her carpet.

"Pay wif Gem?" She asked and I nodded, Gemma quickly handing me her baby doll.

I listened to her babble on about whatever she was playing, finding it fascinating how her brain was processing her make believe play.

"Do you like baby dolls?" I asked, Gemma having just the one.

She quickly nodded, fishing out a fake baby bottle, handing it to me.

"For bay-bee!" She gestured and I smiled, cradling the baby doll, propping the fake bottle up toit's both, finding myself instantly rocking back and forth which freaked me out when I noticed.

I handed her the doll, "You do it Gem" I encouraged, Gemma sitting down on the floor with the baby doll and I handed her the bottle, smiling at how big the items looked in her hold. "Good job Gemma!" I boasted; a cheesy smile on her face when she looked up.

"Eh've bay-bee food!" She grinned, lifting up the doll to show me, the baby dolls eyelids falling open, sending shivers down my spine.

"You do such a good job caring for your baby Gemma" I complimented, Gemma carefully setting the doll down.

"Tea-ah say I ave to.. to be.. be careful! No.. no hurt bay-bee!" Gemma said and I grinned, my nose wrinkling at how cute she was.

"What are you girls doing?" Colby spoke up and I froze, Gemma grinning up at him.

"Pay bay-bees Coco!" She grabbed the doll off the ground, running up to him.

"Gemma's such a good momma to her baby" I told him, Colby smiling down at her, walking further into the room.

He sat down so our knees touched, Gemma stepping over some toys as she went back to where her dolls' things were.

"Coco? Change bay-bee peas" Gemma asked, holding up a different pair of clothes for the doll.

He nodded, starting to undress the doll, Gemma intently watching.

"Geesh" I chuckled, "I hope you weren't that hasty when Gemma was little" I teased, watching him roughly flip the doll, stuffing the arms through the correct holes.

I saw his cheeks blush which made my heart flutter, a stupid smile on my face when I saw him handle the doll with more care.

The longer we hung out with Gemma, the more future kids were on my mind.

I listened to Gemma sing in the bathroom as Colby gave her a bath, the two of us switching off on nightly chores, and I couldn't help but think about Gemma as a big sister.

She screamed big sister energy to me, and just watching her with the baby doll, and how she interacts with kids even her own age... I knew it was something that not only I wanted, but something I wanted for her.

We both said goodnight to Gemma and walked back out to the living room, Colby plopping down on the chair with his MacBook, when I cleared my throat, catching his attention.

"You good?" he snickered, watching me reach for my water bottle, nodding.

I stayed quiet, unsure how to even start this conversation, when Colby set the laptop on the coffee table.

"I want to apologize" he said, giving me his full attention. "I shouldn't have said the things I said about you, and I'm sorry for not listening to you, and for accusing that you were pregnant" he said and I nodded slowly, flashes of the negative pregnancy tests going through my head. "I am trying to get better at communicating, and not just listening... even if it isn't showing. I was a dick earlier, and I apologize" He said, sounding sincere.

"You were a dick earlier" I nodded, holding back a laugh, Colby's lips tugging upwards. "And I uh.. I have something to tell you" I spoke up, the nerves evident in my tone.

"You're pregnant aren't you?!" He accused again before his chest shook, muttering "Sorry" with a chuckle.

"I mean.." I dragged out, his eyes widening.

"SHUT UP! Leighton Rae!" He moved to the edge of his chair, leaning forward in disbelief.

"I took pregnancy tests earlier-"

"You're pregnant?!"

"They were negative" I finished, watching his face contort into different emotions in the matter of seconds, Colby leaning back against the chair.

"What?"

"I mean, the same way I'm sure as to why you keep accusing me of it, is why I took one... well, three.." I chewed on my lower lip before deciding I needed to be honest with him. He deserved that. "I took them with Aaliyah whilst you were making pancakes. All three came back negative. I just.. I wanted to be honest with you..... Colby?" I questioned, not sure how to take his silence.

"Thank you for telling me" he nodded, appearing to be processing and choosing his words carefully. 

"How do you feel about it?" I asked, snatching the throw blanket from behind me, tossing it out over my legs.

"Don't take this the wrong way" Great. Here we go. "But I thought you were on top of your birth control?" He asked and I mentally groaned.

"I am"

"Then..?"

"I don't know. I mean, they came back negative"

"Wait, is this why you brought it up at the park?" He asked and I froze. "Leigh.."

"What? Can't a girl innocently ask questions!" I protested.

"There was intent behind it!" He pointed at me, chuckling as he lifted his left leg onto his right knee.

"Would you want more kids?" I asked quietly, genuinely afraid of his answer.

"I thought you wanted to be married first, and you seem to be avoiding that topic so.." He shrugged and I audibly groaned, shifting to face him better, leaning against the armrest of the couch.

"Is marriage for us?" I asked, his eyes narrowing. 

"What? You've wanted this!" 

I pursed my lips, looking away.

"Leigh? You can't seriously be telling me a year into our engagement that you don't want to get married!" 

"I don't not want to get married... I just.. I don't want to get married right now" I further explained, hating the way he was looking at me right now.

He looked like I just dropped the biggest bomb on him ever, like his whole world was just flipped upside down.

"What the fuck do you mean? I proposed to you because you wanted this!" He exclaimed, my eyes widening, his matching, "Shit! That's not what I meant!" He quickly spat out and I glared.

"Then what did you mean? You better start talking quick Brock or I swear to god"

"I do want this! That isn't at all what I meant! I just.. I'm in because you're in. Does that make sense? So you not being in.. makes me feel like... like I read it all wrong. Like I was played, or like... like the kid who got pantsed in front of his crush"

"Me not wanting to get married right now.. is not me rejecting the proposal. I want a future with you.. but the idea of trying to plan a wedding right now with a toddler sounds like my worst nightmare.. and if I am pregnant.. if for some reason it was wrong.. how could I possibly find a dress? I can't watch my weight when I'm growing a fucking baby, Colby!"

"Hold on! Wait! — Are you pregnant?" he asked and I groaned, running my hand through my hair.

"I don't know!" 

"How do you not know?!" His voice raised and I could feel my eyes harden and my jaw tighten.

"Because my pregnancy test said I wasn't, but I haven't gotten my period! So I don't fucking know Colby, okay?! You don't think this hasn't been stressing me out? Sorry to inconvenience you with not knowing a definite answer but clearly something is wrong. All I fucking know is I have pregnancy symptoms and no period! So maybe!" I exclaimed, frustration taking over my body as my eyes began to water, pissing me off.

"What do we need to do to find out?" He asked softer this time, his eyes locked on me as I wiped under my eyes, not wanting to cry right now.

My own emotions were really getting on my nerves. 

"I mean.. I can make a doctor appointment, but I don't know if anything will come from it" I explained and he nodded, his hand running along his chin and jaw.

"Okay.. let's start there. For all we know, it could be nothing. Isn't stress and hormones a factor in girls' periods?" he asked and I shrugged, nodding. "Can you call tomorrow and make an appointment? Let's just make sure you're in good health, okay? If everything is good, we will revisit this whole pregnancy thing... but let's not get too worked up over it. We can't do anything about it right now. Are you able to call tomorrow?" he asked and I nodded, sniffling. "Let's start there. I'm sorry for whatever just happened. You really caught me off guard by saying you took a test" 

"Sorry for snapping at you" I muttered, embarrassed by how quick it elevated. "I do want to get married.." My voice wavered, Colby's head cocking to a slight tilt. "I just don't want to intently plan it right now. I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't want to have a future with you like that. I love you"

"I love you too. Let's just make sure you're okay, okay?" He said and I nodded, Colby getting up and walking over to me, leaning down to kiss me. "Just for the record, I'd love to grow our family with you, even if we aren't married. If you are pregnant, I don't want you think I wouldn't be excited. Nervous, yes.. but it would just be an adjustment period" He reassured me and I nodded, running my fingers through the thin hair near his neck.

That next morning I sat on hold as I got ready for work, finally making my appointment for next week, texting Colby to tell him I made the appointment.

Colby joined me for my appointment and I giggled to myself as I watched his leg bounce.

"Nervous huh?" I teased, Colby looking over at me, his leg immediately stopping.

"Sorry. Just worried" 

"What are you thinking about?" I questioned, offering him my hand, letting our fingers intertwined.

"It's nothing" he shook his head, his leg starting to bounce again.

"Talk to me" I encouraged, unsure why he was the one that was so antsy.

"It's nothing Leighton, please drop it" 

I frowned but respected his request, pulling out my phone, replying to a few texts from Cynthia and Landon when my name was called.

"Do you want to go in on your own?" Colby asked and I shook my head, pulling him with me.

"We're going to start first with getting your weight" the nurse said and I nodded, stepping on the scale, facing Colby so I didn't see the number. 

Thankfully she didn't announce it out loud and told me we could go to the exam room.

She took my vitals and asked me a few questions before having me follow her to the hallway, giving me the cup to pee in.

I handed her the cup, flashbacks to when Gabe questioned if I was on drugs going through my head, my chest tightening at the memory.

I tried to hold small talk with Colby as we waited, but he was strangely quiet, seeming to be stuck in his own head.

"Are you okay?" I tried again and he just nodded, offering me a forced small smile, his nose twitching as he adjusted his position in the chair.

We eventually were grabbed for my blood draw, my head starting to hurt from the fluorescent lights.

"Nervous?" He asked and I grinned, shaking my head.

"You sure are though. Do you mind blood draws?" I asked, the nurse leading us down a hallway.

"I don't love them, but they're alright. Just want you to be okay" He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest.

"Take a seat" She instructed, pushing a curtain to the side.

I giggled when Colby looked away as she inserted the needle, relaxing my body as it dripped through the clear tube into a vile.

"Something tells me you don't like blood" I teased, Colby rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms, shaking his head at me, the nurse snickering.

~

There was a soft knock on the door, both of us straightening our posture as a woman in dark blue scrubs entered the room. She gave a quick hello, announcing who she was and her role in the hospital before saying, "I have your results" Colby squeezing my hand. I have the blood and urine results"

"You are in fact pregnant" She said and I could feel the air get knocked out of my lungs, Colby quickly looking over at me. "Both came back positive"

"But.. the at home one was negative?" I asked, feeling extremely conflicted.

"You could just be so early on the hCG couldn't be detected"

I just nodded and she proceeded to explain the extent of the results as Colby wrapped his arms around me from the side, kissing the side of my head.

All I could hear in my head was

You are in fact pregnant.

I was pregnant.

I'm having another baby.

She said she would give us a moment and grab someone from OBGYN, leaving Colby and I alone for the first time since having the news confirmed.

"What are you thinking? You look like you're reeling" Colby asked, shifting to get a better look at my face.

"I'm pregnant" I stated and he nodded, his hand being offered in front of me, but I just stared at his hand. "What are you thinking?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around the new information.

"I mean.. I don't know. I feel excited yet confused. I guess I just... I'm relieved" He said, my head cocking to the side.

"Relieved?"

"Yeah.."

"Why?"

"Well I.. I mean.. it crossed my mind that something could be wrong. I mean, with your mom having cancer and all.. just thought the worst for a while" He had a sheepish look on his face, and I pulled him into a hug.

"I'm okay. Just hormonal and about to get fat as fuck" I laughed, Colby's face brightening up.

"You're pregnant. Impregnated you. It was me, right?" He joked, but I didn't find it very funny, which he quickly realized when I glared at him.

"You're not funny"

"I lovvee youuu" He said in a sing song tone.

"Shut up. I haven't slept with anyone else"

"I know baby, it was a joke. I'm sorry. This pregnancy is going to be a blast, isn't it?" he teased again and I just pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. "I'm just going to stop whilst I'm ahead" He chuckled.

"You're not allowed to make that joke anymore. It's not funny" I quickly created a boundary, not liking the feeling in my chest.

"Okay. I apologize" 

I nodded, letting out a huff of air.

"Sorry" I murmured, standing on my tiptoes to reach him, pursing my lips to ask for a kiss, Colby happily obliging 

"It's okay. I don't know about you, but I'm kind of in a state of shock, so I apologize for the jokes I have and or will make. I love you" He grinned and I felt my heart start to race as I held eye contact with him.

"I love you too" My cheeks tugged into a tight grin, beginning to feel giddy. "We're having a baby" I exhaled, my eyes widening.

"We're having a baby" He grinned, nodding at me.

"Holy shit" I giggled, taking an inhale as I looked away, running my hand through the top of my hair, shaking some of the waves before cupping my face with my hands.

"I impregnated you" He smirked, closing the distance between us, his hands finding my hips.

"You did. You put a baby in me. My moodiness is your fault!" I pointed at him, my finger grazing his chest.

"Dammit! You're right!" He laughed.

A knock on the door separated us, Colby swooping my hand into his, a stupid smile on his face as two women entered the room.

"I'm going to take it by the look on his face they're we're happy about the news?" The new woman asked, Colby immediately nodded which made me laugh.

"Shocked, but happy" I corrected; the woman smiling at us.

"Well congrats you guys! I guess we won't be needing these" She set a few pamphlets down.

"What are those?" Colby asked.

"They're about abortions. Didn't know the vibe of the room so.." She explained, both of us nodding.  

We listened to her talk for a few minutes before she told us to make an official OBGYN appointment at the front desk, sending us on our way.

"Where is the front desk? I'm turned around" Colby did a 360, making me snicker.

"To the right"

"Ohhh"

"You're cute" I teased, "I love you"

"I love you too"

~

"You know what I'm looking forward to?"

"Hm?"

"Snacks. I'm going to eat so much shit oh my god! You get to be my snack bitch. This is great. We should've gotten pregnant sooner! I'm going to get so fucking fat. I've missed being able to snack whilst breastfeeding and now I've got a whole pregnancy!"

"I love this for you" he laughed, pulling into the café we went to last week.

"You better get fat with me. I refuse to be the only whale in this relationship. You put a baby in me, this is your doing" I reminded him, hopping out of the car.

Colby held the door open for me, a teenage girl telling us she'll be right there.

We both slide into a boot, opposite of each other.

"Dude I'm so fucking excited for that milkshake" I danced in my seat, Colby pulling out his phone.

"I can't believe you're pregnant. We're going to have two kids" He reeled, his thumb swiping up on his phone before he looked up at me.

"Are you worried?"

He shook his head, "Honestly? I'm kind of excited to do this again.. properly. Like, from the start" 

"It's going to be weird doing this shit with someone. Plus, you already know how I am pregnant" 

"Yeah a moody, demanding-" He started and I raised an eyebrow, "beautiful woman" he finished making me laugh.

We got our food ordered and awaited our milkshakes, Colby spinning his phone around to show me something.

"I'm buying you this"

"Cole!" I hissed, Colby cackling.

"What? It's true!" He laughed and I just shook my head, Colby scrolling through his phone again.

"Are you just looking at pregnancy shirts? I'm not even showing yet!"

"You just said you planned on getting fat. I gotta be prepared!"

"Fine then I'm buying you dumb shirts" 

We spent the next few minutes showing each other funny shirts before our milkshakes were placed in front of us. 

"I could totally orgasm eating this" I groaned, plopping the spoon in my mouth.

"God the noises- Leighton!" Colby hissed and I just giggled, happy dancing in my seat.

"It's so good!" I moaned and I watched Colby shift.

"Leighton Rae I can not leave this family establishment with a boner!" He whisper yelled.

"I'm just eating ice cream! Get your mind out of the gutter" 

Our food got placed in front of us and we immediately dug in as I googled what to expect with the second pregnancy.

"You apparently show quicker with the second kid" I murmured, scrolling through a few search results.

"How far along do you think you are?"

"Um.. here there is a calculator for it.." I quickly put in the last day of my period, waiting for it to load. "Late march" I replied, Colby nodding.

"That makes them what?"

"Hm?"

"I'm a Capricorn. What would they be?"

"Are you asking me what our baby's zodiac sign is?" I chuckled and he nodded.

"Um... Aries" I read off, Colby nodding.

"Well let's look into Aries and see what we have to look forward to"

"All I know is they're crazy"

~

"I'm literally itching to tell Sam" Colby chuckled, placing the clean plate in the cupboard.

"We literally just found out" 

"What, you're telling me you're not itching to tell people?" He accused me and I shrugged. "Why not? It's exciting, Leighton!"

"It is exciting... I'm just nervous. The reason you don't tell people in the first trimester is because the more people you tell, the more people you have to tell if you lose it. The first trimester is the scariest because that's when your miscarriage rate is higher"

"Babe, it's going to be okay" He reassured me but I quickly turned him down.

"Don't make promises. I don't want to live on a promise"

"Leighton.. it's going to be okay. Even if we do lose the baby, we'll be okay"

"You don't know that. I'm not talking about this right now or I will cry"

Colby leaned against the counter, watching me. "We've got to tell Gemma"

I immediately smiled at the name of my daughter, "I know! I was just thinking about how she'd be as a big sister. I can't wait to watch her be the best big sister!" 

"Do you think she'll get jealous?" He asked, taking the wet bowl to dry.

I shrugged, "She shares thus far. As long as we continue to try and teach her that, I think we'll be okay. If I'm going to be honest, I think our biggest problem will be sharing you. You've always put all your attention on her"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. You know what I'm excited for besides actually meeting the baby?"

"Hm?"

"Your tits are going to grow" He smirked, making me immediately roll my eyes, chuckling out of disbelief.

"Typical boy. You do realize that my tits growing will be painful for me, right? Like I get it's hot or whatever, and people have lactation kinks.. but that shit gets sore. Imagine your pecs growing and then storing milk in them. They hurt like a bitch. Oh my god, with Gemma, that shit, oh I'd commit a murder for sure! Oh my god I feel like I'm getting trauma flashbacks! Or like, OH MY GOD! My feet! Oh god the feet! Yeah I'm not getting off the couch are you fucking kidding me?! Absolutely not! The feet, the boobs, THE BACK?! OH THE BACK! Nah, maybe we do need an abortion. I don't know if I can do the back again" I playfully panicked.

"Hey, you got through it once, you can do it again. And, you're not alone. Not that you were alone the first time.. but I promise I'll be there. The late night food runs just like last time, the absurd stretching we did." He brought back up making me laugh "We're doing this together baby, all the way" He reassured, a smile reappearing on his face, his eyes crinkling.

"Yeah? We're going to get greasy hangover food again at 3am? Oh my god, Denny's at 3am?! Broooooo we're so doing that!"

"Who did you just become?!" He cackled, "I don't think I've ever heard you use the word bro a day in your life! And Denny's? Since when have you ever wanted Denny's?" He laughed.

"Denny's eggs right now? Oh my god" I moaned, Colby laughing at me. "You don't understand!" I fake cried, listening to him laugh at my pain.

"You're not even that far in and you're already having unordinary cravings? Dear god help us all" He teased. "My banker is going to see so many weird charges at fast food places, I can see it now" He laughed which made me chuckle, nodding.

"But now we have Gemma, so we can't go together anymore" I frowned, Colby clasping my hands into his towel, drying them off before tossing the towel onto the counter, pulling me into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I can't wait to do this all over again. I know there are shitty aspects.. but we get to do this again. We get to raise another beautiful baby, and if they're anything like Gemma.. I can't fucking wait. I know pregnancy is hard, but you carry it so beautifully"

I cackled, "I looked horrible pregnant, are you for real?"

"You were gorgeous, are you for real?!" He exclaimed, pulling away from me.

"I looked like a hippo. If I'm bigger this pregnancy I will simply stay in bed"

"Your bump wasn't even that big"

"Welp great. I simply will demand to be pushed around for nine months" I exaggerated, getting back at the task to hand, only having a few things left.

~

"I can't believe you were serious about us going to Denny's" He laughed, the waiter placing our shitty breakfast food in front of us.

"Gemma's with Gabe, we have no responsibilities. Why not get pancakes at 11pm?"

"This is your second milkshake today. You're lucky you're not lactose intolerant" He joked, passing me ketchup.

"This baby will be made up of milkshakes if I have anything to say about it. I really liked milkshakes with Gemma too"

"Maybe you're just a milkshake gal in general" he shrugged, making me grin, attempting to hold back a laugh which made a smile tug at his lips.

"Are we on drugs? I'm using bro, you're using gal, what's happening to us?!" 

"It's the baby hormones" 

"We found out what?, 12 hours ago I'm pregnant and all of a sudden that's the excuse for everything?"

"We've got to milk it baby! We've got nine months of this, gotta use every drop"

I just stared for a second, Colby busying himself with his food.

We've got nine months of this.

We're pregnant.

I'm pregnant.

I'm doing this again.

I'm twenty five and I'm pregnant again.

Things are different. I'm in a relationship. I'm clean and sober. I have family and friends.

I'm doing this again, and things are different.

This will be different.

"Leighton, are you okay?" Colby asked, making me jump.

"W-what? I'm okay"

"You sure?"

"Yeah..." I exhaled, looking up from my plate, Colby's worrying gaze making my heart begin to race. "I'm sure" I smiled softly.

I'm okay. Things will be different.

We'll be okay.

* * * *

Written on: February 16th, 17th, 18th, 19th 2023

Published on: February 20th 2023

Word Count: 5910

Part Six

[poptod]

I have an Ahkmenrah x reader request! The reader usually goes to the museum at night to see Ahk and the rest but this one night they can’t because they have to go with their horrible parents for a dinner or something but Larry calls them telling them that Ahk’s sarcophagus lid is stick and he doesn’t know what to do and ofc Ahk is freaking out and having flashbacks to when no one would open it for him so the reader quickly leaves their parents and runs over to the museum, and the readers trying to comfort him until eventually someone figures out how to open it without breaking his sarcophagus and then the reader spends the rest of the night trying to comfort him bc he’s a lil scared of going back in now but they figure something out. Thank you if you decide to write this! I’m in an Ahkmenrah brainrot (again).

Notes: welcome to the brainrot. i have a few other fics im working on so this may seem a little short but i hope you like it anyway! WC: 993

+

"Listen to me, you'll be alright," you said, your panicked tone betraying you.

You managed to sneak away from your parents with the common excuse of bathroom time, and you were now hurriedly and quietly calling Larry's phone. He held it up to the tiny crack between the sarcophagus and its' lid. You prayed it was enough for Ahk to hear you.

"I'm so sorry," you continued in a shaky voice. "I'll be there as soon as I can, alright?"

"Fuck," you heard on the other end of the line, weak and high-pitched. "Hurry. Please."

Larry's voice was the one you heard next.

"I tried to get Attila to open it but he tried smashing it with an axe. I think he's gonna try again if you don't get here," he said.

"Fuck, okay." you groaned, rubbing your face. "I don't know what to tell my parents."

"Just say it's your job, they need you."

"I work at a fucking coffee shop, Larry, they won't need me at 11 at night."

"I don't know! Tell them your friend's committing suicide, I don't know. Just get here, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm.. if I leave now it'll be about fifteen minutes, I'm not too far."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Alright."

You hung up and stuffed your phone back in your pocket. Before you left the bathroom you flushed the toilet, just in case, and only then returned to your parents, who still sat at the table.

You blurted out a quick excuse, not even bothering to sit back down. Whatever guilt you might've carried for blowing them off was disintegrated by their stiff and stern expressions; they didn't want you here anyway. They were just traditional, and believed it was important to interact in their child's life. Otherwise they didn't enjoy your company.

It was all a blur––grabbing your jacket, running down the apartment building's stairs, rushing to the subway, dashing from the station to the museum's front doors. Your whole body shook as you ran up the many stairs. Sacagawea waited for you at the door, and opened it when you arrived panting heavily.

"Larry is upstairs, with the Pharaoh," she said quietly, following you as you speed-walked across the room.

"No luck yet with the sarcophagus?" You asked, your eyes locked forward.

"No, I don't think so. Attila and Teddy are with them, though."

You ran up yet another flight of stairs, and after speeding through the entrance chamber guarded by the Anubis statues, you found them waiting around the sarcophagus, whose lid was still shut tight.

"Thank God," Larry breathed out, his shoulders releasing the tension within them. "Attila is – literally so close to breaking this thing."

"Fuck's sake," you groaned.

You knelt down beside the coffin, pushing aside the boundary markers set in place for the public.

"Ahk?" You asked, pressing your hand to the golden markings. "Ahk, I'm here."

"(Y/N)," he said, and pounded against the lid that rattled against its lock. "Gods, there's something wrong."

You could hear him stifling his tears, these quiet sobs he didn't want to show.

"I'm right here. Don't worry," you said softly, nearly pressing your lips to the space beneath the lid.

Despite your day job being a barista in a coffee shop, you studied Egyptology in university, earning a bachelor's in archaeology centered around Egypt and specifically the language. Your own studies continued even after you stopped going to school, ranging from the architecture of palaces to the religious interactions between Sumer, Babylonia, and Egypt.

"Alright," you muttered to yourself. "Looks like the lock has seized up. Not surprising… was the, uh, humidity of this room changed?"

Larry, Teddy, and Sacagawea stared at you blankly.

"… never-mind. There should be a key somewhere but I doubt it'll actually work at this point," you sighed. "Anyone have a hammer or something?"

Those gathered turned to Attila. He had no way of knowing what you asked, but he got the point, and handed you a large, scythian battle axe.

Using the blunt end of the weapon, you pounded against the rusted and swollen lock, abusing it till the lock snapped and broke, falling to the ground with a clatter. Instantly you and Larry were pushing at the sarcophagus lid, forcing it aside with a puff of dust. Ahkmenrah attempted to help by scratching at it till it let open the light, and he sat up abruptly, gasping for fresh air.

"Ahk!" You cried, though the instant you did you were cut off by the air in your lungs being abruptly forced out.

Ahk's arms were around you, squeezing you so tight it cut your breath off. It didn't bother you too terribly, as long as he let you breathe in another minute, so you wrapped your arms back around him and tangled your fingers in his hair.

"Oh Gods, that was the worst," he groaned, shifting so he hid his face in the crook of your neck. "I never want to go in there again."

"I know, I know," you murmured. "You won't have to for a while."

"No." He shook his head. "Never again."

You sighed as he melted into you, both of you falling to your knees in your embrace.

"We could wrap you up in a bag and keep you in the archives downstairs for the day," you suggested, still combing his hair. "If that makes you feel better."

"Yes, please."

"Okay," you whispered, and kissed his temple.

For the rest of the evening, you held him in your arms, kissing his fingers and his head whenever you felt he needed it. Each time he hummed contentedly, and hid himself further in your touch. He breathed in deeply, intaking your scent, before melting into you.

In the morning, you wrapped him up in an easily-escapable bag, and held his hand through the linen till the sun rose. No one would notice if the sarcophagus didn't have its' mummy.

[gretavanfleetposts]

Valence: Chapter Three

Summary: The daughter of a drug lord, you're ready to take over the family business. Your father's only stipulation? You must marry the man he has picked out for you instead of the man you love in order to claim your kingdom.

TW: penetrative sex, thigh riding, slight cock-warming (18+ minors do not interact), swearing, themes of death and dying

Word Count: 8k

Chapter Two Masterlist Chapter Four

This wasn't how your wedding was supposed to look. It certainly wasn't what you had been dreaming of, or what you and Danny had been fantasizing about. No, this was all wrong.

You sat at your vanity in your room, fingers laced around the stem of a champagne glass that was on its nth refill, too many to count by this hour of the morning. Lily stood behind you brushing through your hair and humming to herself, either choosing to ignore your palpable misery or blissfully unaware of the crisis you were having as you watched her prepare you for a man you didn't want.

You emptied your glass and opted for an open bottle instead.

"You'd better go easy on those. You don't want to be drunk going down the aisle," Lily started in.

"I think I might," you muttered under your breath before taking another swig and disrupting her brushing once again.

"It's your wedding day, why are you so miserable?"

God, maybe she really was just blissfully unaware. Somehow that felt worse.

"I know you and Danny had a childhood fling," she began.

And not without a sting, either. A sharp beginning to a sentiment that was likely to have a sharp end as well.

"But you're an adult now. It's time to move on to someone more suitable."

And there was the sharp end.

"Not to mention, Jake is beautiful so I'd say you're lucky to have found him."

"I didn't find him, Lily. Our father did."

"Then you should thank him."

Your anger and frustration snapped with her words and you stood abruptly from your stool, pushing her off and crossing the room to your bed where a pair of white stockings with tiny white flowers woven into them rested, waiting to be adorned.

"I think the hair is brushed now."

"You're really going to be so sour on your wedding day. The least you could do is put on a happy face and be somewhat pleasant today of all days."

She was standing by the vanity still, holding the hairbrush and looking like a lost puppy, unassuming if she hadn't said what she'd said. And it fueled your anger, regardless of how small and innocent she made herself look, sending you into a spin facing her, your anger preceding you.

"You're helping me primp to be sold off to another man. Which part of that exactly would you like me to be pleasant about?"

But she only dropped her head, tears spilling from her eyes almost instantly and dripping down to hit the cool wooden floor.

"You know you're always so nasty to me," she choked out.

She was infuriating, the way she turned the waterworks on and off so quickly. She had used it as a guilt tactic ever since you were kids, mostly because it always worked on you, being the youngest and being afraid to upset your older sister. But it no longer worked in the same way. Now you bit back your anger, did your best to swallow it down, even if it was truly still there. Now you held your tongue for her sake, even if it was just a ploy.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Lily, I didn't mean it."

You crossed the room to her, taking her face in your hands with a deep sigh.

"I look beautiful thanks to you. Mom would be proud."

Her tears dried almost immediately as her face lit up like a Christmas tree, eyes suddenly glowing at the mention of your mother.

"She would be," she agreed.

Pulling you into a hug, she rocked you both back and forth as she squeezed you tightly, not unlike your first encounter with Jake's twin although the two interactions were nothing alike. One had comforted you, the other had not.

"I'll go get your bouquet!" she squealed as she let go and skipped off to find the florist, leaving you alone for the first time that morning since you had barely woken up.

In her absence, you couldn't avoid your appearance in the full length mirror you had been trying your best not to catch a glimpse of. But now, being alone, you stood before it to take yourself in. A cream, long sleeved dress with a neckline that dipped low to mimic the v of the back, sewn out of thin, delicate silk that flowed with your every movement. Your mother would be proud.

It's how you might have wanted to look on your wedding day with Danny.

But it wasn't Danny standing at the end of the aisle. In fact, as you found yourself an hour later marching to the tune of a dusty organ, you couldn’t bring yourself to look up towards the end of the aisle as you walked, or else you might have run away. Danny was folded into one of the many pews that surrounded you, that much you knew, but you couldn't bring yourself to search through the eyes now staring, watching you, just to find his.

You weren't even really sure how you had gotten there, perhaps thanks to the inordinate amount of champagne you had consumed during the getting ready process. But you were there now, eyes fixated on the bundle of lavender between your fingers as the small piano in the corner of the tiny cathedral did its best to persuade you down the aisle.

Actually, the only comfort you found in the situation was knowing that Sam and Josh were somewhere in the pews as well, probably smiling brightly in support despite knowing how this had all come to be.

As you reached the end, you finally lifted your eyes to the man standing before you. There was Jake, wrapped in a deep maroon suit, his hair down and flowing over his shoulders, setting a soft contrast between his brown hair and the deep, almost blood-like color of the suit. His chest was uncharacteristically covered by the matching shirt and vest he wore underneath the jacket, but there was still no tie in sight, in true Jake fashion. And as you came upon the small step up to greet him on the platform, he offered you a hand, letting you delicately rest your fingers in his palm as you stepped up.

He had a soft smile on his face but his eyes held remorse, plentiful, some unspoken apology that you were glad he wasn’t voicing. You couldn’t bear to hear it, even as you swayed under the weight of alcohol.

It was a blur after that, the words spoken by the minister while you stared at the flowers in your hand, the “I do’s” spoken by you and Jake as you reluctantly lifted your eyes to face him again. Even the kiss blurred past you, a quick moment of silence where Jake leaned in and pecked you lightly on the lips, his own hardly even touching yours. You only stared up at him as the wedding guests folded into tiny pews all around you stood and clapped. Jake had to take your hand to remind you to turn toward the audience though you couldn’t even remember if you had smiled or not.

And then suddenly it was over and the two of you left the cathedral the way you had entered. It was a dizzying whirlwind and you fought back tears on your way out. You couldn’t even remember seeing your father.

A black SUV whisked you away from the church, you and Jake sitting on the far ends of the backseat, each looking out your respective windows. What he saw on his side, you weren’t sure. On your side, dense trees zooming past in a blur, you watched your life blow by you in an instant, Danny somewhere far behind you. You felt the tears in your throat before they even streamed down your face like the droplets of water cascading from the sky and slipping down the sleek tinted windows of the armored car.

“What can I do?” you heard Jake whisper, the sound somehow reaching you despite the miles that separated you there.

But you said nothing back, despite the concern you heard in his voice, real and raw and like nothing you had heard from him yet. Instead you shook your head, like perhaps words would follow, only it was tears, falling harder now as you slumped further against the window, arms pulled tight against your chest as you felt it, felt the physical distance between you and Danny and all of the things you imagined for your life.

There was nothing he could do. He had already done it.

He didn’t even touch you, didn’t even offer a soothing caress as you tried and failed to hide your grief from him. Perhaps he knew he couldn’t reach you. Maybe he knew you were too far away in that moment. Maybe he was watching his life surge past him too, wondering how he had gotten there, where he had gone wrong.

‘Was it worth it?’ you heard Danny asking you, distant but clear.

‘Are you sorry? Did it hurt the way you thought it would? Do you want to know if I watched?’

There was nothing to touch, even if Jake had reached out for you. You were a pile of broken pieces disintegrating on the floor.

—

Your cheeks were stiff with dried emotions that you had let flow more freely than you usually did on your ride to the reception. It hardened your face into a stoic, glassy expression as you sat next to Jake, looking upon the party below. The festivities didn’t reach you, couldn’t reach you seated high above everyone else in the large open courtyard cut out of the middle of your home. Even the toasts rested at your feet despite you being more than happy to drink. And your father was more than displeased watching you shirk off attempts at niceties and pleasantries, Jake fielding them all dutifully.

He had said nothing to you since his one question uttered to you in near silence in the car. He hadn’t even met your eyes as he offered a hand to you, helping you out of the SUV and into your home where the reception now droned on. Even his brothers had mostly stayed away, mingling with the warmer guests and avoiding your icy stare.

And Danny was nowhere to be found.

But at some point in the night, it was Josh who braved your side of the table, offering you a hand with a toothy grin and warm eyes that only looked slightly terrified.

“Dance with me?” he asked.

You said nothing, simply stood and took his hand, leading him to the dance floor and leaving Jake behind where Lily finally pounced and greeted him, asking him to a dance which he accepted with a smile and, if you listened closely, you could have sworn a sigh of relief.

Josh pulled you tighter against him than you had been expecting, pulling you from your miserable daze just enough to catch the disappointed look in his eyes. You preferred the hint of terror.

“You should save me whatever lecture you have prepared on outward appearances,” you said without looking him in the eyes. “My father will be more than happy to give it before the night is over. If you’re lucky, it may even be given in a quiet corner of this very room and then I can be even more of a spectacle for you all.”

It was scalding, unfairly so for the boy who had braved your table with sunshine still in his features, more than you deserved. But he didn’t even acknowledge it, to your surprise, drawing your eyes back to his face suddenly with his question that seemingly appeared out of thin air.

“How old were you when your mother died?”

You stared at him a moment, perplexed, brows furrowing as he continued swaying you both like the question hadn’t stumbled from his mouth unprompted.

“Lily said it was hard on you,” he continued in lieu of an answer.

“She died five years ago,” you answered slowly, brows still furrowed in confusion.

He hugged you tighter to him and nodded. “I’m sure it feels like it happened just yesterday. That’s how I feel about my father’s death anyway.”

You were tense in his arms but his warmth, and his honesty, did a lot to let your guard down, forget your anger even.

“Yes,” you voiced barely above the music. “It does feel that way.”

The grief of losing your mother had never really gone away. Immediately after, it had choked you. Now, it waited until the oddest moments to resurface, to tear open wounds you thought had healed or were healing. Some nights you still found yourself paralyzed by it, gasping for breath between broken sobs. But most nights, it was still the anger that took you by its hold. That was your cardinal sin, at the end of the day: anger.

You felt Josh’s hand grip yours tighter, one arm each held off to the side with his other draped along your back, fingers splayed flat to keep you there while your free arm slung around his neck, holding onto him a bit tighter as you felt the conversation shift.

“Jake didn’t stay at the reception after the funeral. Didn’t even make an appearance, actually. Just spent all day in his room. Sam and I didn’t see him for weeks. The distance between all of us after our father’s death felt enormous but it was different for Jake. It was like he practically disappeared.”

You tried to picture the Jake you knew, cool and calm, being so distant and so hurt. Maybe you could see him folding in on himself. He did, after all, have a great ability to avoid your questions. But the thought of him turning from his own brothers to grieve? That was something you really couldn’t imagine.

“At a certain point, I worried I would never wade through the distance and find him again.” You could see the hurt behind his eyes even as he spoke about it so long after. “I worried that maybe he had swam so far away because he didn’t even want to be found at the end of it.”

You suddenly felt bad for Josh, having to worry about his brother so deeply. Perhaps that was the way Lily had worried for you after your mother. Maybe that was the way your father worried for you now.

“It got bad. Felt like it was just getting worse and worse. Until finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I dragged him out of the dark all the way to Italy, just to tell him that he couldn’t hide from me anymore and that he didn’t have to grieve by himself.”

“Why Italy?”

“He needed to be reminded that there was still beauty in the world and that he was still capable of seeing it. And he had always wanted to go,” he smiled.

“Did it get better after that?”

“It did,” he reminisced with a soft smile touching his rosy lips. “We had a nice trip. And I left knowing he would never drift that far away again.”

You dropped your eyes to some spot on his chest although you weren’t exactly seeing anything. Josh’s words had sent you a million miles away, ironically enough, lost in an entanglement of thoughts that he had only helped to tangle further.

“So if you’re thinking of swimming far away,” he continued, dipping his face down so he could whisper next to your ear, “don’t forget to grab a rope. Makes it easier for the people you leave behind to reel you back in when you need it.”

He straightened, returning your gaze as he did so, but before you had a chance to voice your speechlessness, as it were, Lily was suddenly at your side, propositioning Josh away as Jake moved to take his place with his hand at your back and his fingers laced between yours, holding you the same way Josh had but admittedly not quite as close as Josh had.

Your eyes followed Josh as he swirled into a more upbeat dance with Lily who was all smiles at his charm, charm that had left you with a look of puzzlement still resting on your face, while Jake cleared his throat.

“Hate to let Josh look like the brave one in the family,” he joked, the jape landing on a silent audience as you struggled to pull yourself out of your conversation with Josh.

Did Josh see it? Did he see you drifting? Did he worry that you would swim far from Jake before you even gave him a chance to hold you up in the water?

“He didn’t upset you, did he?” Jake asked more seriously then, trying to get a read on your face. But you shook your head, having heard his question but still somewhat lost in thought.

‘Don’t forget to grab a rope. Makes it easier for the people you leave behind to reel you back in when you need it.’

“Your brother talks like an ent,” you mumbled absentmindedly as you finally turned toward the boy in front of you, letting your eyes go unfocused fixated on the lapel of his suit.

He pulled you in closer as he chuckled, seemingly warmed by your comment, approachable finally for the first time that day.

“Yeah, he’s just like that. Stature of a hobbit though.”

‘Don’t forget to grab a rope.’

Was Jake your lifeline? Is that what he was implying?

If you laughed at his remark, it was hardly audible, sounds still mostly going in one ear and out the other. But you had caught it.

“You read too then,” he continued, vying for your attention.

“I watched the movies.”

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t say that.”

A real chuckle that time fell from your lips as Jake’s remark pulled you mostly from your thoughts. And more present with him, he held you closer and you found yourself wrapping your arm tightly around his neck, the thought of him shutting himself away with grief not far behind you.

“I haven’t really had much time for reading, between rarely leaving my father’s side during the day and Danny…” You let yourself trail off at the admission, eyes dropping at the audible mention of his name, the elephant in the room it seemed.

But Jake pressed on, not letting it linger and dampen the mood, admittedly welcome in your sorry state.

"So you're a workaholic who needs to learn to have fun. Got it."

You gave him a coy smile, cocking your head to the side at what he was implying. No doubt trying to get that reaction from you.

"I know how to have fun," you corrected him.

"Then why don't you have any?"

You squinted at him inquisitively. One might have even called it playful, as playful as you knew how to be.

"Says the brooding guitarist who locks himself in his room with his music every night," you accused.

A wide smile crossed his face.

"You think I'm brooding?"

"Out of you you and your brothers, I do. You all practically wear your personalities like clothes."

"Ah, well then you should know that I'm the romantic one."

You ignored both his comment and his look, suggestive as they were, sending him a quick eye roll before you changed the subject entirely.

"Exactly how many instruments do you play?".

"I don't really keep track," he shrugged, apparently happy to let his previous remark die although he did look quite amused. "Anything with strings."

You hummed lightly. "Must have a lot of free time."

He smiled and nodded once, taking your comment for what it was, a subtle jab. But the smile never left his eyes as he retorted, "Well my destiny, it would seem, is to be someone's husband."

You eyed him carefully as the two of you still swayed to music you were hardly listening to.

"You never had a desire to take things over from Josh?" you implored with more sincerity, genuinely curious as to why he had no interest in it all, even though it was his birthright.

He shook his head, his brows furrowing in thoughtfulness.

"I like the quiet," he remarked softly, his eyes landing on yours immediately after.

It felt purposeful though you couldn't really decipher the look on his face.

"I don’t think I’ll ever understand you Kiszka’s," you resigned instead with a sigh.

He smiled again, wider this time. "Maybe you’ll find us easier to understand now that you are one."

You didn't need the reminder really. It wasn't something you were particularly happy about. Not that sharing the family name was so bad. Shirking the one you wanted, though, was bad and you furrowed your brows at him in displeasure, displeasure he seemed perfectly happy to ignore as he quickly added, "Your father is looking," before dipping his head down to capture your lips with his, startling you with his actions as your eyes blew open wide even with his mouth on yours.

But his lips were warm and soft and his smell was inviting. And his hands, his fucking hands, one moving to cradle the back of your head as the other clung to the small of your back like he was the only force holding you to the earth.

And Danny wasn't there.

So slowly, your eyes fluttered closed and for a brief moment, you found yourself kissing him back, losing time against his mouth.

He pulled away slowly, his eyes fixed to you as your own slowly opened to face him, a bit more breathless than you wanted to be, exacerbated by the smirk very thinly veiled on his face. It wasn't like the kiss in the church, a soft peck that you hardly even remembered even so soon after. There was an intensity there, the same intensity he always held behind his eyes. You wondered, for just a fraction of a second, what it would feel like to really be kissed by him, not in the presence of other eyes, not for any dynastic purpose, just because he wanted to taste you on his lips.

You desperately needed a drink.

“That should appease him for the night,” he asserted, looking over his shoulder to make sure your father was satisfied and moved his gaze elsewhere.

You felt like you were in a daze until the end of the reception, in a weird limbo between asleep and awake. And by the end, Jake was practically holding you up himself as you melted further and further into his arms, your strength all but evading you by the end of the night. You had done your crying in the car on the way to the reception. Now you desperately needed a moment away from the dwindling crowd. Sleep too.

“I can walk you back,” Jake whispered against your ear, your temple pressed to his shoulder and your face turned into his neck, allowing you to successfully hide your face from the shrinking crowd of wedding guests around you while you drifted through a chasm of thoughts.

It at least looked intimate, quite convincing too, despite the fact that you felt with each passing moment further and further out of touch with your own sanity, like at any moment you might plummet through the floor and never see the light of day again.

Maybe Jake would be kind enough to crawl through the floor and pull you back up.

You lifted your head off his shoulder to nod silently, catching a glimpse of Sam dancing with a now drunk Lily wrapped around the slender frame of the lanky brother not far from where you and Jake stood on the dance floor. You were envious of her inebriation. Josh, on the other hand, was nowhere in the immediate vicinity as Jake took your hand and turned to walk you out of the courtyard and back into the privacy of your home.

Jake was mostly silent, matching your own silence as you walked down the long hall toward your bedroom, having dropped your hand once safely out of view of the wedding guests. Though the absence of any touch left you feeling dizzyingly cold. Not that it was Jake’s touch that you really wanted.

It was nice not being alone though, as the dark walls of the hallway practically crowded in around you, threatening to suffocate you before you finally reached the safety of your bedroom door, cool walnut beneath your touch. You pushed the door open behind you, turning to face Jake as he stood watching you intently.

You were silent as you stared at him, not entirely sure what to say. He was your husband now, after all. But what was there to say to the boy when you hadn’t even gotten through the ceremony sober? What was there to say now? There weren’t even words spoken in the silence, no hidden meaning behind your eyes or his. All there was was silence and the two of you, maybe seeing each other for who the other was for the first time, nothing hidden.

Just the two of you.

"Josh is waiting for me," he finally broke the silence with his raspy voice, soft and alluring, a sound that was doing more and more to alleviate the tension in your shoulders every time you heard it, no matter the situation.

You couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of Jake sending Josh a signal that they were leaving the party, a signal to wait for him while he dropped off his wife at her doorstep.

"Sneaking off to sleep in your own house," you shook your head, staring at your feet as you shuffled before raising your eyes back up to his.

You didn't want him to stay, truthfully. But you didn't exactly want him to leave either.

But he gave you no opportunity to ask for either as he nodded past you, pointing with his eyes into your room with a low, "Someone's waiting for you," before he disappeared into the darkness of the hall without another word.

You turned into your room then, looking for a figure in the dark only to find Danny, standing near the doors to your balcony, wringing his wrists in his hands and looking somehow impossibly small. You ran to him in an instant, breathing out his name like a sigh of relief and forcing yourself into his arms with a hug that he reciprocated immediately, holding you tightly to his chest.

Danny felt nothing like Jake. He smelled nothing like Jake. He was warm, too, but entirely different to the touch, to the senses. He was taller, sure, but it was more than that. He touched you differently, held you differently. It was absurd to be making any comparisons really.

"I was worried he'd be staying," he whispered without pulling away, his words muffled by his lips against your shoulder.

It was you who pulled away, holding his shoulders at arms length so you could give him an inquisitive look.

"Why would he be staying?" you asked, not masking any of the concern in your voice at his remark.

He cast his eyes downward as he answered with uncertainty.

"You are…newlyweds…"

You moved your hands to spread over his chest, trying to memorize the way his body felt beneath your fingers.

"His brother is taking him home," you reassured him with a whisper, watching the movement of your own hands over him. Well, maybe it was more reassurance for yourself.

But he only shuffled in his place, eyes still fixed to his feet.

"Will there be a honeymoon?"

Your hands dropped almost instantly as your demeanor fell at the unfairness of his question.

No, not unfair, actually. Just unwanted.

"Of course not, Danny. Is that really what you came here to talk about?"

Finally he lifted his eyes back to your face and you saw clearly the hurt behind them, the pain. And the apology before he even gave it.

"No, I'm sorry, it's not. I just wanted to see you." He shook his head, looking lost, more than you had ever seen him. "I couldn’t let my last image of you today be you walking down the aisle with him."

The memory felt distant, even as you closed your eyes to recall it with almost a wince. It didn’t feel real yet and you were dreading the moment that it did.

"I’m sorry," you whispered, your eyes still closed as you tried to shove the memory to the back of your mind where maybe you’d be able to forget about it for good. It wasn’t until you felt Danny’s hands take your face gently between them that you abandoned the thought of your husband standing at the altar as you walked down the aisle altogether.

"We can make it right," Danny whispered, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek. “I’ll make it right,” punctuated with a kiss to your other cheek.

And then suddenly his lips were on yours, kissing you deeply, fervently, like all of his pent up frustration and sorrow was being expelled into the atmosphere as he held you there, his hands desperately clinging to your body and his lips desperately clinging to yours.

If hugging him had felt like a sigh of relief, feeling him now pulling your hips into his own with a grip that would probably leave bruises on your skin while his mouth commanded yours and sought for some type of solace, it was practically euphoric, even given the emotion it threatened to stir up inside of you.

But you didn’t want to cry more than you already had that day. You just wanted him.

As his tongue pushed past your lips, your fingers moved to the jacket he still wore, pushing it off his shoulders and letting it land uncaught with a soft thud against your bedroom floor. Your fingers moved to his shirt next, making quick work of the buttons, all while he fought to keep his mouth pressed to yours while leaving space for your hands to undress him between your bodies.

As his shirt followed his jacket to the floor, his hands began working at the zipper of the delicate silk still wrapped around your form.

Your wedding dress. It hit you harder than a truck. He was taking off your wedding dress.

Suddenly it was guilt wracking your body instead of heat and you pulled away abruptly, taking a few unsteady steps backward as your mind moved a million miles an hour.

Danny wasn’t your husband. But you weren’t exactly in love with your husband. Besides, Jake had already given you consent to see Danny after your wedding. Why it suddenly felt so…wrong, you weren’t sure. But that was exactly how it felt: wrong.

“Are you okay? Did I do something?” Danny looked beside himself with concern and you couldn’t really blame him. You had never pried yourself from his hands that quickly before.

It wasn’t that you wanted Jake to be the one to strip you of your wedding dress on your wedding night. It was the thought of the man you now called your husband sneaking off with his brother, likely to lie in his own bed with a guitar alone, while you spent your first night married committing infidelity.

‘He told you you don’t owe him anything,’ you tried to remind yourself. ‘He said this was fine.’

You blinked back guilt, realizing you hadn’t said anything to Danny as you stood there breathlessly in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed quickly, stepping toward him and trying to mask the messy feelings that were growing ever messier in the pit of your stomach.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated in a near whisper as you stepped closer, reaching out to place a hand against his bare chest, something you hadn’t felt in what seemed like ages.

He was hot to the touch, the way he always was, and smooth, mouthwateringly inviting on your good days, and on your bad? The only thing you needed. You could have melted back into his skin as you placed your other hand on his chest, moving them both up to his strong shoulders, slowly, before wrapping around his neck as your mouth found his again, pulling him into a slow kiss that jolted your body awake from its contrite slumber.

Cautiously, hesitantly, Danny kissed you back, his hands timidly finding their place at your hips again before creeping back up to the zipper of your dress.

He wasn’t your husband, no. But slowly, you let the man you loved strip you of your wedding dress.

The silk fell to the floor silently the moment Danny’s hands pulled the straps from the ridges of your shoulders, leaving you standing there in nothing but your ridiculous wedding night attire, entirely Lily’s doing. You had fought about it early that morning. She had promised you more champagne if you agreed to put it on.

“I think Jake will love it,” she had said.

You had rolled your eyes as you poured yourself another glass of bubbling booze.

But instead of Jake being the one to feel his way around your wedding night lingerie, it was Danny. Only, the moment his fingers felt the material, he was pulling away with a few steps backward, an unreadable look on his face.

“All of this for him,” he whispered, his eyes trailing down your body once and back up once more.

You suddenly felt vulnerable standing there before him that way, wearing lingerie that was meant for another man.

“It was Lily,” you promised in a quiet voice, unsure if he would believe you though he had no reason not to. “I never intended to…”

You trailed off, unable to speak the sentiment out loud. But he nodded, thankfully, his eyes soft rather than the holes you deserved bore into your skull.

“It’s okay,” he reassured you as he took a step closer to you. “I’ll just be thankful it’s me here and not him.”

And then his lips and hands were on you again, kisses being pressed to your jaw as his hands spread flat over your abdomen, his thumbs running under the band just under your bust.

“I have no idea how to get this off of you though,” he mumbled against your neck, still trailing his lips down lower and lower.

“You can just cut me out of it if need be,” you answered breathlessly before weaving your fingers into his hair and pulling his mouth back up to yours, swallowing down the sound that escaped his lips like you were starved, hungry for more.

His hands fiddled with the numerous straps adding no real structural support to the garments you wore while you worked his belt through the loops of his pants, discarding it on the floor without a care for the clang it made against the hardwood, turning your focus to the button and zipper of his pants immediately after, all the while pulling him toward your bed.

“On second thought,” he whispered, his breath hot as he dropped his lips to your jaw again, “maybe I’ll just leave it on. Push it to the side.”

You didn’t so much as nod before he turned you quickly and pushed you back onto your plush mattress. You didn’t mind the sense of urgency behind his movements now, feeling that same sense of urgency, like the longer you went without, the more uncertain you might become. The more guilt you might feel.

You said nothing as Danny moved to hover over you, positioning himself between your legs and allowing you to kick his pants down his legs, along with his boxers, until they both confined his ankles and he dipped to pull them the rest of the way off. And as he moved back up your body, his erection dragging tantalizingly across your skin all while his lips lead the way, along your thigh and then your stomach and then your chest, finally reaching the crook of your neck, he sunk his teeth lightly into the flesh there as he wedged his thigh between your legs.

“Tell me you want me,” he whispered against your neck, sending heat flushing across your face and chest as you almost immediately gave in to your urge to grind down on his thigh, thick and muscular and hot even through the material still keeping you from him.

You could feel the arousal growing between your legs as you rode his thigh, shamelessly searching for relief from the ache, from the need he had reminded you of.

"I want you, Danny," you huffed as you continued the grinding motion of your hips. "Only you."

He pressed his leg harder between your own, earning a light gasp from you at the dizzying friction of his skin and muscle against your clothed clit.

You were making a mess against his leg, spreading your arousal along his thigh as you rode him in desperate movements, though you didn't much care. And by the dark look in his eyes and the flush of his cheeks, he didn't look like he much cared either.

"Gonna make a mess on my thigh, beautiful?" he asked in a near breathless voice, his eyes struggling to choose between watching your face turned up in pleasure and watching your movements along his thigh.

"Yes, fuck yes, Danny," you gasped as you felt yourself ride closer and closer to the edge of bliss. "I'm so fucking close."

"Here, let me help you with that," he smiled, an unusually smug smile for Danny that sent butterflies flitting about your chest as your orgasm fast approached.

Reaching down between your legs, Danny hooked two fingers around the crotch of your lingerie, tugging the material to the side and freeing your swollen bundle of nerves, allowing you more friction against his thigh as you moaned loudly at the sudden contact.

He watched in almost a trance-like state holding your panties to the side while you rubbed yourself on his thigh, his name becoming a chant on your tongue as your hips practically moved without being told to.

"Go ahead, sweetheart. Come on my thigh, just like that."

You didn't even notice his hand reaching down to wrap around himself, stroking lazily up and down while he watched you come undone. You were too far gone to see the way his eyes fixed to your body, practically gulping you down, the way you writhed against him, whispered his name as you finally rode his thigh through your orgasm. But you did see the hungry look in his eyes as you slowed the movements of your hips, coming down off your high to realize you were aching for him to be inside of you.

You pulled him down by the shoulders, pulling his mouth to yours before you whimpered against him, "Please, Danny."

"You want more already?" he teased lightly although he was moving to give you what you wanted without much fight.

You felt like you were gasping for breath, fighting to stay near him, to feel him. You wanted all of him, everywhere.

"Yes, I want you. I need you inside of me," you begged, hoping he wouldn't leave you wanting for long.

And thankfully, he didn't. In one swift movement, he adjusted between your thighs, pulled the material between your legs even further to the side with one hand, and with the other, guided the head of his cock through your folds, pushing into you in one languid thrust.

“Shit, Danny,” you gasped, clinging to his muscular shoulders like he was your only grounding force, even as he undid you.

“I know, beautiful,” he whispered before covering your mouth with his and pulling his hips back slightly, only to thrust back into you until he reached the hilt, earning a moan that time from both of you, muffled by lips intermingling.

He mumbled a curse against your lips as he pushed another languid thrust into you, slow and deep, filling you so thoroughly that it made your eyes roll back as you arched up into him. He never failed to stretch you, even though you had grown used to his size. It still took your breath away how he felt inside of you.

You watched as he lifted himself up onto his elbow, taking your face in his free hand and admiring you as his thumb swiped across your cheek.

“You feel so good,” he mumbled under his breath, like you weren't meant to hear it. Like it was something he was filing away for himself. “I wish I could stay here forever.”

Another deep thrust to contrast the softness with which he gazed upon you and you bit back a heavy moan, doing your best to keep your eyes open and fixed to him.

You didn't like to close your eyes when you were with Danny. He was too beautiful a sight to miss any expression, any drifting of his own eyes closed at the feeling of bliss. And now, with the way things were, you didn't want to miss a thing.

“You look so beautiful with me inside of you,” he whispered, punctuating it with another thrust, this time building into a steady rhythm, one that made your toes curl while you did your very best to stay somewhat quiet to preserve your dignity.

It felt like the first time all over again. It reminded you of what you had missed so desperately: Danny. Feeling close to him.

“This is the way we were meant to be,” he whispered again before catching your mouth with his, this time keeping your lips connected as he picked up his pace, angling a bit deeper to nudge that spot inside of you that made your eyes roll and had you moaning expletives against his mouth.

Your hands found his hair again as you deepened the kiss, turning from romantic passion into something much more depraved as you willed his hips to continue their movements with your heels hooked around his waist, the tip of his cock grazing your g-spot with each inward thrust.

And as he lifted your leg higher, pressing the top of your thigh against your chest and bringing your ankle up over his shoulder to push even deeper inside of you, it was only stars in your vision, your breath almost failing you altogether.

“Fuck, Danny, you're going to make me come again,” you breathed out in desperation, hardly comprehensible against the weight of pleasure crashing over your body and threatening to spill over.

“Do you want to come with me, y/n?” he smiled, a smile that looked almost like normal Danny, no hint of sadness behind the eyes for the first time since you had been promised to another man.

It was the Danny you had been really missing that you saw above you now, wrapping himself around you to cradle you against him as the first few waves of pleasure began to roll through your body.

“Yes, please don't stop. Make me come with you,” you whispered against his neck as you turned your face into him, gripping his hair probably a bit too hard as your legs brushed up against his biceps now searching for as much of a hold on you as they could manage, pulling you into him with no light force as his face pressed into your neck.

He did nothing to stifle his sounds any longer and neither did you, letting yourself go completely with one last desperate plea of his name. You came hard around him, clinging to him, just as he came deep inside of you, his breathing labored with exertion and his hands still holding you with desperation.

You stayed like that for a moment, Danny still buried inside of you, holding you tightly as your breathing evened out, still fanning across his neck. It felt like an eternity that you stayed that way, feeling each other, breathing each other in, before he moved to pull out of you.

“Let me clean you up,” he sighed as he began lifting himself before you stopped him with a hand around the back of his neck.

“No, no I-I want to stay just like this,” you practically plead with the curly haired boy hovering over you. “Please.”

You couldn’t face the cold of his absence, even if it was just to lie his head on the pillow next to you. You weren’t ready to let him go.

“Just like this?” he questioned as he lowered himself back into his previous position.

The weight of Danny on top of you was better than anything you had felt in two weeks and you hummed in satisfaction.

“Yes, just like this.”

He nodded breathlessly and curled his arms around your frame again, one gripping your waist while the other wrapped around your shoulders and held the back of your head, keeping your face pressed close.

And you fell asleep that way, wrapped tightly in his arms.

—

You helped Danny sneak out early, before the light of dawn broke across the horizon and strolled lazily in through the curtains. Another hour after he left, you dressed and headed to the dining room for breakfast, only to find your father already sitting at the dining table.

You were surprised to see Jake already there as well, sitting across from him, eating nothing but rather watching your father eat while he simultaneously read the newspaper, seemingly ignoring Jake’s presence.

You entered the room hesitantly, wondering if your father would question why you and Jake were both up and about at vastly different times, but instead, as you made your way into the room, the topic of discussion that arose from your father’s lips was not one you had been prepared to discuss, having nothing to do with your’s and Jake’s arrival times to the breakfast table.

"Sit. We need to talk about your honeymoon," your father requested, or rather, demanded, without ever looking up from his newspaper.

You were taken aback by the word. 'Honeymoon'. That wasn't something you had agreed to.

You glanced quickly over at Jake who gave you a look just as quick as you took a precarious seat next to him, waiting for your father to elaborate. To make any sense, really.

"I don't want you putting this off. You will leave for your honeymoon in a week's time."

"A honeymoon?" you asked incredulously. "We're already married, isn't that enough?”

He only shook his head.

“No, it isn’t. People need to see the two of you together to understand the relationship that has been built between our families."

You couldn't help but glance quickly over to Jake who seemed far too cool and calm compared to you, compared to the news. You eyed him suspiciously as he kept his eyes fixed to your father.

"It'll take time to plan," you turned back to face him too.

He only shook his head again.

"Jake has already planned it."

'Jake has already planned it.'

Suddenly you were turned toward Jake again, rage already seeping through your pores at the betrayal.

He had never even told you.

"When?" you asked incredulously, tone sharp and demanding. But your father answered instead.

"He has done his duty as your husband, you will do yours now as his wife," he said plainly before rising from his seat, throwing down his newspaper, and leaving the room, all seemingly without a care for the fury you were about to bring down on your husband.

"When?" you asked more sternly a second time, your jaw clenching as the word escaped.

You watched as his eyes screwed shut and he rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment before inhaling deeply. You couldn't wait to hear it.

"Your father asked me to have something prepared when he initially made the deal."

You thought about it, the fact that you had been to Jake's home, waltzing around his bedroom trying to get a feel for who he was, all the while he had already planned your honeymoon, knowing nothing about you, not even knowing if you'd say yes to the whole thing in the first place. Truly, the thought made you so angry, you didn't even know how to express it, other than an exasperated laugh.

"My own fucking honeymoon has been planned for months without me knowing," you breathed out, practically to yourself although not so quietly that Jake couldn’t hear it.

"I’m sorry, y/n," he started softly. "That wasn't exactly how I planned to tell you.”

You wanted to scream, wanted to lay into him and tear him a new one. You wanted to hurt him. But none of it mattered. There wasn't anything to say really. It had already been done. You already had the metal wrapped around your finger, what was one lousy trip?

After a moment of silence you stood from your chair, shoving the wood back scraping against the floor in an unholy sound, storming out the way you came without so much as another word to Jake. But on your way through the door, you swore you could hear the boy sigh out a curse.

Taglist: @lvnterninthenight @gretasmokerising @jordierama @allthatyouneedisinyoursoul

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Kamomedai's Manager

And Secretly Dating Izuru Nozawa

Izuru Nozawa featuring Kamomedai x GN!Manager

Warnings: light kissing, me getting to bully Hoshiumi, Manga spoilers, potential anime spoilers (spoilers are just details about the teams)

A/N: This is an Anon request and my first Kamomedai request! Currently reading the Manga so I'm not as familiar with Kamomedai as the rest of the teams BUT I have successfully stalked researched and I think I have a decent idea of their personalities so please bare with me!

Ok so from what I understand, Kamomedai is kind of like Date Tech but like more extreme??

Honestly I can tell I'm already going to adore them 🥺

Personally, they kind of give me Shiratorizawa 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 vibes

So I'm going to go with a mix of the two for these headcanons

You become Kamomedai's Manager during your second year

Let's say you were besties with Hirugami

Because seriously, what an angel 😍

By default, you become friends with Hoshiumi and let's just say you have a love/ hate relationship with our tiny seagull bby

"YN seriously must you be so happy all the time?!?"- Hoshiumi says glaring at you 😑

"It's not my fault I have friends Hoshiumi, maybe you should try not being such a stick in the mud"- you 🤪🤸‍♂️

"KORAI KNOCK IT OFF!"- Hirugami growls

Hoshiumi 👉🏻👁👄👁 WHY DIDNT YOU YELL AT YN?!?!

You 👉🏻😜 sUcK iT KoRai 😜

Honestly the maturity YN 😅

It's actually Hirugami that brings up the idea of joining Kamomedai as a manager

He decides to talk to his seniors and they love the idea

So he brings you to practice one day

Suwa, Norikura, Hakuba, Bessho, Tokura and Kanbayashi are all so nice to you

Hoshiumi just looks at Hirugami, eyes widening and says "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?? REALLY?? YN??"

"You know you love me Korai"- you say sweetly 🙃

Meanwhile, a certain winged spiker is observing your interaction with Hoshi 👀

That's right, third year Izuru Nozawa is watching you 👀

Observing from a distance you might say

He thinks you are super cute and the way you handle the team, well let's just say the man is sold 😍

He's seems like the kind of guy who is cocky but self conscious when it comes to crushing on someone

Luckily, you don't have that problem

"Hi!! My name is YN!! What's yours?" You say, bubbly as ever as you introduce yourself to Izuru

"Im- uh- I'm-" Nozawa says stumbling iver his words

If you don't think the team noticed his stumbling, you could be completely wrong 😏

Please they are eating this up!

Suwa comes up behind him, smacking Nozawa on the back making his jump

"This is Izuru Nozawa YN. He's one of our third year winged spikers. Isn't that right Nozawa"- Suwa says 🙃

Nozawa 👉🏻😳 uh yeah- that's me 😅

You're smile beams at Nozawa as he watches you

"I'm so excited to work with you guys"- you say, literally ecstatic

"Nobody said you were hired yet YN"- Hoshiumi grumbles

🙄 😒

Please ✋🏻 all these boys just GLARE at Hoshiumi because HOW DARE HE CHASE YOU AWAY

You just giggle and leap at Hoshiumi, hugging him

His eyes widen and he blushes, stuttering over his own words as the guys all watch in astonishment

Kamomedai 👉🏻😲😲😲

Hoshiumi 👉🏻😠😳☺️

You 👉🏻🥰🥰🥰

"Ugh fine get off me"- Hoshiumi says pushing you off

Unfortunately for you, you're balance isn't the best

Big SAME

You stumble back, falling in slowmotion

Luckily for you, Nozawa acts quickly, catching you

You look up to him, blushing as he awkwardly smiles 🥺

Please this is so wholesome

"Umm thanks Izuru"- you say, your blush turning into a smile

Please Hakuba is probably wiping a tear away because how romantic 🥲

He gives me big, loving himbo vibes!

Like Bokuto but maybe without the emo modes

From that day forward, you begin your journey as Kamomedai's Manager

You provide a kind of softness to the once rough team

Literally before you, practices were so rigorous and hard

Their coach believes in working them hard

But you believe in love and nurturing your boys 🥰

So let's just say they are very surprised when they come into practice one day to see personalized treat bags made for each of them

They all stare at them, look at each other and then look to you

You 👉🏻🥰🙌🏻

Them 👉🏻👁👄👁

You 👉🏻😍💙🤍

Them 👉🏻👁💧👄💧👁

You are exactly what they needed YN

You are an amazing encouragement to all of them

You help Hirugami when he struggles with his feelings towards volleyball

You help Hakuba with his receives and blocks

You help Suwa keep track of the guys progress and where they need to improve

And most importantly, you develop a close friendship with Nozawa

Mans literally follows you everywhere YN

He loves when you cheer for him and help him practice

He also gets very jealous when you do the same for his teammates

He knows you're the teams manager and that it's your job

But seriously, he's so jealous YN 😫

He desperately wants to ask you out but he's not entirely sure how to go about it

You aren't the same as all the others YN

You are so special to him and the team

He can't mess this up!

Kamomedai prides themselves on results

They don't believe in momentum

They believe in results 👏🏻

So in his mind, of he can't ask you out the way you deserve, then he won't ask you out at all

Unfortunately, he thinks you deserve the absolute world YN 🥺 so this man will push himself to give you the best

After a particularly rough practice, Nozawa stays late to practice his serves

He struggled today, missing about 25% of his targeted goal

He knew what was messing him up, but he couldn't let it bother him

However, seeing him struggling, you decided to stay back to make sure he was ok

Hirugami and Hoshiumi left you after you said you had a few things to finish, leaving you alone with Nozawa

You stood outside the door, listening to the balls slam on the floor

"Damnit Izuru! You can't even make a serve inbounds! How do you expect YN to even considering going out with you?"- Izuru says, putting his hands on his knees and scolding himself

Your hand goes to your mouth in shock

Izuru liked you? And he thought he wasn't good enough for you 😡

Oh no no no, you weren't going to listen to Izuru put himself down

Without even thinking, you make your way into the gym, crossing the floor in only a few strides

Izuru looked up at you, eyes widening as you kneel in front of him, grab his cheeks and pull him into a kiss

His eyes wide, he watches you pull away, a small smile creeping on your face

"Izuru, you are perfect just the way you are and I'd love to go out with you"- you say, now smiling widely

Izuru just stared at you 😳

Pls YN, he's in shock say something!

"Izuru are you ok?"- You say, studying his face

Suddently, Izuru reaches his hand over, pinching himself and whincing

You just look at him, confused 🤨

"Just making sure I'm not dreaming"- he says, as he leans in, kissing your lips again making you giggle

After that, Izuru and you started a sort of secret relationship

Why secret 👀

It's because I 1000% believe this team is just as nosey as the other ones 🙄

Literally, high school kids live for gossip and what better gossip is there?

However, it's unfortunate for you and Izuru that you can't have nice things

Because one day, you are getting volleyball from the back room

Izuru comes in, asking for a small kiss before practice

You oblidge, of course 😏

Too bad a certain 6'8" winged spiker just happens to barge in

🎶 when he looks at me, and I look at him and he looks at me and I LOOK AT HIMMMM 🎶

Hakuba rn 👉🏻😐😳😱

"HOLY CRAP NOZAWA WAS JUST MAKING OUT WITH YN!!"

everyone stops ✋🏻

Izuru is still holding on to you and you to him

Hoshiumi comes running 🏃‍♂️ over to you

"Nozawa are you ok??? Yn did force you did they!!"- Hoshiumi 😨

You 👉🏻😐😑 why you little-

Hirugami comes over, grabbing Hoshiumi and moving him back

Honestly, he saving Hoshi if you asked me ✋🏻

Izuru and you are still standing there 🧍‍♂️

Suwa comes up, shaking his head at everyone

"Seriously? We are suppose to be practicing"- Suwa shouts

"How can we?? YN is literally ruining it"- Hoshi yells

You 👉🏻😠 istg-

Please Nozawa is holding you back from murdering Hoshiumi

"Just one swing Izuru..." you say, glaring

"Well practice sure is interesting"- Bessho's comments

Suwa is rolling his eyes so hard rn

"Ok ok, Nozawa are you and YN together?"- Suwa

Izuku nodds, still holding you back from committing murder

"Ok, well as long as you two are happy"- Suwa says, shrugging and turning to leave

Please Hoshiumi is all worked up

"WHAT THE HECK?? YN IS A TOTAL LIABILITY"- Hoshiumi yells

Somehow you managed to squeeze from Izuru's hold, grabbing a volleyball and channeling Sir Iwaizumi Hajime

The ball hits Hoshiumi right in the face as he falls back, cursing at you and swearing your end

You 👉🏻 BRING IT 👊🏻

Izuru and the entire team rn 👉🏻😐🙄

After that, you no longer had to hide your relationship with Izuru

However, that doesn't mean it was easy 👀

Because you see, Nationals is pretty stressful

And I totally believe Nozawa is a jealous and possessive boi

So while the boys warm up for their first game, you sneak away to use the rest room

On your way back, you accidently bump into a tower of yellow jackets 💛

Namely ONE jacket in particular 🙃

"Oh my, I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going"- you say, excusing yourself

"Oh its no problem, I'll never complain about a beautiful person running into me"- Iizuna Tsukasa, captain of Itachiyama says 😏

Just me throwing all the names out there 🤪

You blush at the compliment, looking at the tall blonde setter as he smirks at you

"HEY-" you hear a low growling shout from behind you as you turn to see Izuru, Hoshiumi, Hakuba and Hirugami standing

You turn to walk towards your boyfriend as he pulls you close, kissing your forehead

"Ahh Nozawa, good to see you"- Iizuna says, smirking

"Iizuna, what were you doing with MY YN?" Izuru responds, eyes narrowed

"I accidently bumped into him Izu, it's ok"- you say caressing his cheek

Nozawa still glares at Iizuna as he leans his head down, giving you a small peck on the lips

Hoshiumi groans from behind you "Seriously get a room!"

Nozawa doesn't hear as he's still locked in a heated glare with Iizuna

"Let's go YN, we have a game to win"- Izuru says

"Good luck Nozawa, you're going to need it"- Iizuna says

"Not as much as you'll need"- Izuru growls, pulling you away as you wave cutesy to Iizuna

Please YN, do less ✋🏻

Needless to say, Izuru and Kamomedai didn't need to luck 🙃

They crushed their first opponents with ease, securing their place in the next round

You cheered as your boys won their match, Izuru running towards you and twirling you around, giving you a small kiss

"Ugh seriously??"- Hoshiumi moans

You glare at him as Izuru hands you a volleyball

"You know me so well"- you say as you canon the ball towards Hoshiumi 🥰

That he does YN, that he does!

[kitasfox]

ok you’re so cool i was a little scared to ask hehe

but really…i want mattsun to bully me pls 😩😩 that gunplay thirst wow i really want to gag on his dick while he spits in my face what is wrong with me he has no screen time and is still hot as fuck

BRUH FRATBOY MATTSUN WAIT THIS GAVE ME THE IDEA OKAY WAIt

pls no nothing cool here 😫 but thank you qhejqje (I wrote this twice man, pray for my poor heart) i love thirst like these don't be shy send me the kinkiest shit I have so many issues 🥴🥴

PLEASE you don't understand, as I personally proclaimed him as haikyuu's biggest sadist (okay maybe after sakusa), and since all my thoughts are canon 😋 lemme bless you with what I have in mind babe-

THIS POST IS NSFW! Minors do not interact or I'll bite.

warnings: taking pictures, on your pretty face he nut on :3 spitting, slapping (soft), oral (male receiving), fingering, size kink hehe, this is heavy yall, idk what else uhh, calling names?? Tell me if I missed smtn

here's gunplay w mattsun because I'm a whore and here's the taglist form if you wanna be tagged when I post!

You don't like parties.

The way your short skirt and tiny top feels awkward on your body, the air heavy and feels dirty, cigarette smoke hanging in the air making your eyes and throat burn.

It all feels too much, you don't even like to drink, you know you don't fit in this place, but you just wanted to live your life for once.

Even saying that leaves a weird, foreign taste in your mouth, it's not something you'd say, after all, not something you'd you'd think, really, it's just you trying to calm yourself using your friend's words.

"Please- just come with me babe," she had begged and begged, "I finally have a chance with Matsukawa please don't let me go alone!"

For some reason, she was so damn obsessed with the guy lately, texting him so damn often, squealing with happiness whenever he texted back 8 hours later (earliest and dry: ok 👍), doing everything she could to get his attention- so there was no way you could say no when she asked you to be there for her.

But you just couldn't have known it would turn out this way.

"What a fucking slut," his breath fans on your neck, lips tracing the shell of your ear, you can feel his lazy smile, your back flush against his chest. "Getting fingered by her friend's crush."

He's obsessive as his touch never once leaves you room to breathe, large hands groping and pulling on your tits spilling from your blouse ripped open, fingers planted in your panties under the skirt your friend had gave to you (maybe you'll get lucky, she had winked.)

"She's your best friend, too, no?" His fingers circle your clit making you whine loudly, "how much of a whore do you have to be to fuck your best friend's crush?"

"-'m not!" You whine but your body betrays you by bucking your hips on his fingers, knees shaking as you fall deeper into his heavy touch. "I'm not a whore!"

"Sure you aren't sweet girl," Matsukawa's lazy gaze lingers on your face contracting with pleasure as his fingers start thrusting in and out of you, laughing at the sounds your pussy makes, "and this pretty little pussy isn't yours, either, making the sluttiest fucking sounds- fuck, do you fucking hear yourself, darlin'?" He groans behind you, grinding his hard cock on your ass, his huffs of short pants and moans making you feel dizzy.

"Please-!" Your hand closes around the wrist of his hand fingering you into oblivion. "Mattsun, please!"

His fingers are so long and so big- two of them barely fit inside you and he still pushes a third in, his cock twitching at the way how you can't even take three of his fingers, wondering how you'll manage to take his cock, grinding his hips and moaning so sinfully at the tears welling in your eyes.

Your body shakes so much against his, you're so small compared to him, Matsukawa wonders if he can even fit the tip of his cock in this tight pussy- even if he could, you're so damn sensitive, already crying, already drooling, all over yourself like a stupid fucking whore.

You're close, he can tell. Your body starts squirming even more, you can't stay still as his fingers keep going in and out of you and-

"I'm cumming!" You scream as your whole body shakes uncontrollably, "imcummingimcumming-"

The way you clamp down on his fingers as you do is nothing but exciting for him, thinking how it'll feel around his cock if you're this tight just around his fingers. When you finally come down of your high, your limp body is ushered onto your knees before you even know what's happening, your head lolling around, eyes shut close, you're about to sleep.

"Wake up," Matsukawa furrows his brows, his hand grips your jaw and shakes your head around, watching the way your mouth opens to suck on his digits, "fucking wake up, slut."

His large fingers tap on your damp cheeks, large hand landing a "soft" slap on your damp cheeks to jerk you back awake when shaking you doesn't work.

(you look pretty like this. fingered unconscious, head lolling around like a doll, your tits all for his gaze to see and enjoy.)

He grins when you moan.

You open your eyes only to find a huge cock against your lips, Matsukawa grinning down at you, his fingers trying to dip in your mouth and give his cock access at your pretty tongue.

He rubs the tip of his cock on your lips, the salty precum making you flutter close your eyes, the sheer size of him causing panic to start welling up.

"Spit on it, pretty thing," he orders as his hand slowly pumps his cock, still rubbing it on your face, now on your eyes and brows, humiliating- but has you clenching in your panties nonetheless.

You do, a trickle of spit falling on his cock, but it's just too big and you're small- it can't even lather the upper half.

The moment your spit touches his cock, Matsukawa's large hand flies into your hair, pulling on the locks so mercilessly, making you cry out a scream, your face forcefully being turned up, your neck aching.

"You call that spitting?" He snarls at your face, lips curled in pain, and suddenly his lazy demeanor is lost to a cold, dangerous one. "I'll show you what spitting is."

It's not a second after you feel something wet on your face, foreign and disturbing, trickling down to the left corner of your mouth. Matsukawa's fingers start spreading the fluid even more on your face, they dip into your mouth and make you taste him.

"Ooh, fuck-" he groans at how pathetic of a bitch you are, taking his spit so good, the guy that your best friend has such a desperate crush on. "Fuck, you little bitch, suck my fucking cock, already. Bet you can do it much better than your stupid friend, show me how good you suck a cock, baby."

He's huge, he's huge in your mouth, almost impossible to fit, but you somehow stuff that little mouth with his cock, and even do a good job about it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He groans, hands still pulling on your skin, your hair, however he can hurt you as you suck his cock. "So damn good!"

As he finally pulls out, so close to cumming, he starts pumping himself vigorously before your eyes, staring into your awaiting mouth and his cock twitching even more.

You look ruined, your pretty face wet with his and your spit, your tears caused by the way he had fucked your mouth and now-

"Fuck, I'm cumming." He groans, and you feel the hot, sticky fluid all over your face, running down your face, some you can catch in your mouth.

It feels awful, to have someone's cum on your face, especially someone who cumms buckets of it, you almost can't breathe by just how much cum he has.

your phone rings.

you hear the ring of a text.

"I think Matsukawa's fucking some other bitch tonight, where are you? I just wanna go home."

You can't read it as you're busy trying to taste as much of his cum as you can- but Matsukawa sees it, and he has a pretty idea.

With his cock still half hard, Matsukawa reaches for his phone, opening your friends contacts, and the camera.

"Hey, sweetheart," he calls for you, your face still covered with his cum, you look more beautiful than you ever did. "Smile for me."

snap, and send.

[qsphyxias]

𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

if you read yaoi/bl as a straight (cis) woman, do not interact! i am serious, i have blocked so many people, and am very uncomfortable at this point! leave me alone!

synopsis ; reader always felt like he was always the second priority and unimportant to people, but kirishima proves him wrong

warnings ; male (he/him) reader, angst, short and a bit rushed because i was crying while writing this and it was just random inspiration so kinda no plot, hurt/comfort fic, idk what to describe what s/o is feeling? maybe like- feelings of unworthiness or something? idk reader is just sad, fluff at the end, mention of marriage.

note; no one's ever thought about me, this realization hit me today. no one ever cared, no matter what i did for them or what i did for myself, it was never enough. but that out of the way, this goes out to all those sad hoes out there that feel the same!

words ; 0.6k +

⊱ ───── {⋅𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗹 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲 - 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗲𝘀𝗲⋅} ───── ⊰

"oh! s/o! i forgot to show you something, i saw this meme a week ago, and it totally reminded me of you! all i could think about all week, was showing you! god, it sucks that exams took us apart for so long."

"but at least i get to hang out with you now!" kirishima smooched you quick on the lips before pulling away and scrolling his album for the meme he saved, taking tiny peaks at your facial expression to make sure you were still invested. he giggled, murmuring something about how the cat looked just like you when you were eating those fire noodles— before he paused, phone slipping out of his limp hands unknowingly as he noticed your distracted expression.

he crawled over to your side, grasping your hand with his rough one to try and bring you back to earth. "why do you look so sad, s/o? did i do something wrong?"

turns out you had zoned out the moment you realized what his words meant. "no. it's just that- well, i didn't think i was the type of person you'd think about." you laughed weakly, swiping the tears that broke your smile.

"what? of course i think about you, you're my boyfriend! and even if you weren't—which i don't think either of us should even think about because we are such a great couple and that would be a tragedy— you're still someone who would definitely occupy my brain 24/7, i mean, look at you! you're a straight-up hottie!"

"c'mere you." kirishima spoke, tone softening as he saw your features break.

you crawled over to him, pushing your head into his stomach as you made an absurd noise. "i'm sorry, 'm not usually like this." you sniffled, eyelashes uncomfortably pushing against your eyelids as you burrowed further into kirishima's torso.

draping his arms on your back, he relaxed and fell back onto the pillows behind him, bringing you down with him.

he craned his neck down to kiss your hair, "pup, you have no idea how much i think about you every single day." he emphasized, words as strong as his resolve.

"you're my motivation to literally do anything ever. whenever i'm having a bad day, i think about you. when i'm not? i'm still thinking about you. the real challenge is thinking about anything else." he grinned as you made the effort to peak up from your spot on his chest.

suddenly though, his smile fell in realization, and he dramatically draped an arm over his eyes, sighing loudly from his lips that curved into a small goofy smile—an indication he was joking. "damn it, s/o. i was saving these for my vows!"

he whined and huffed, blowing air straight into your forehead. "great, now i'm going to have to find new stuff to say when we get totally hitched." kirishima rubbed his hands up and down your back as he pretended to be in thought. "eh, shouldn't be that hard; since you're constantly giving me more things to love about you everyday."

you rolled your eyes at his cheesy remark, a small smile shining through your gloominess.

"like how you even look cute when you cry! there! that's one!" kirishima excitedly pointed at your face, genuinely proud of himself for spotting that one out so quickly.

you laughed, as your cheekbones got a little redder—and this time, not from crying.

"kiri, god- you always know what to say. i fucking love you."

kirishima let out a weird, high-pitched giggle before laughing even harder at his own laugh, reaching down to cradle your face and kiss your lips, so he'd muffle his own horse-like laughter.

"nah, that's not it, you're the one that makes it so easy to love you."

⊱───── ❝ thank you for reading! ❞ ─────⊰

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙺𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚎𝚘𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚐

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging, promoting nor trying to romanticize yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, stalking, kidnapping, hostage holding, sexual scenes, brief mentions of narcotics use, violence, voyeurism, somnophilia and other yandere behavior are contained within this post. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙺𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝚈𝚎𝚘𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚐

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟻𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟹 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟾 𝙵𝚃

𝙰𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■□□60%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

•𝙳𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚟𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚖 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜.

•𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚖'𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎.

•𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚍𝚞𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚖.

•𝙸𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚛.

•𝚄𝚗𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢.

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Yeosang always hid in the shadows. Never coming out of them.

He hated society, hated people and honestly couldn't care if they all died.

He just kept to himself, only going out of his house when he really needed to.

Like to get groceries, get his car fixed or anything of the like.

He even had a steady online job that allowed him the privilege of interacting as little as possible with the outside world.

That's how he liked it.

This way, nobody bothers him or annoys him.

One day, he went to a nearby convenience store to buy a few sweet snacks for himself.

He was walking out of the store, not really paying attention where he was going.

When someone bumped into him, which pissed him off.

But the angry glare he had quickly vanished when he saw you.

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't see you." You apologized to him.

You went your way, thinking you'd never see the handsome stranger in your life again, that he'd just be another casualty in your life.

But you were wrong.

The moment Kang Yeosang laid eyes on you, was the moment he became obsessed with you.

He stood there, immobile, watching as you walked away, out of his life, possibly forever....

And that's when he realized he needed to bring you back into it.

He went out every day to the same convenience store, hoping to see you again.

He would walk around the surrounding streets, gazing at the people passing around, hoping to see your face again.

But he never did, and he was growing desperate.

Just when he thought he'd go insane from not seeing you, you appeared once again.

This time he made sure not to let you out of his sight.

Silently and without you suspecting, he followed you to your home.

Even after you went inside, he stood outside your window for hours, wondering what you were doing.

He only went home when you turned off the lights and went to sleep.

But now he knows where you live, and watching you would be easier than ever.

The next day you went to work as you usually did, not suspecting anything at all.

Yeosang had other plans though.

Taking advantage of the fact you weren't home, he managed to break into your house.

He looked around the place, looking through every picture, cabinet and drawer you had.

It was inevitable for him to find out as much information about you as possible.

He was definitely satisfied with the fact that it appeared you lived alone and as far as he could tell, you had no boyfriend.

He also knew he had to get to work.

So he prepared a bunch of tiny cameras to install around various places of your house:

In the kitchen, living room, front door, backyard, several in your bedroom and even in your bathroom.

They were really small and almost invisible to the human eye.

While installing some of them in your room, he came across your lingerie drawer.

He turned a pretty shade of pink as he sorted through the different articles of clothing.

He began to imagine you wearing them and then imagine himself tearing them off of you.

Picking out a cute lacy red and black panty, he held it up to his nose and inhaled the subtle scent of you.

He ended up jerking himself off in your bedroom with it, completely staining it with his hot cum.

It was one of the very few things he took from you, along with other trinkets that he ended up putting up as a mini shrine to you.

From then on, he began to watch you through all the cameras.

From the moment you got up and left the house, to when you came back and went to bed, his eyes were fixed on you, watching and observing your every move.

He did not look away whenever you got changed, took a shower or even during those times where you felt needy and decided to pleasure yourself.

Those were the times Yeosang had his eyes wide open, along with his pants so his hand could easily rub his cock.

For a while, he thought he could live the rest of his life like this: watching you through a screen.

After all, every time you watched tv, you were watching it with him, right?

You started to wear more clothing in the shade of red because you knew it was his favorite color, right?

And every time your fingers rubbed your clit and threw you over the edge, it was Yeosang you were imagining.......right?

In Yeosang's mind, every smile, every blink, every breath you did......it was all for him, it had to be.

That's why he was coursing with rage when you went out with your friends one time and came back late.

It wasn't the fact that you came late and he'd been worried about you.

It was the fact you came stumbling back in your house, kinda tipsy....

With another man all over you.

He watched in disbelief as you guided him to your room and let him undress you.

You let someone else put his filthy, disgusting hands all over your holy body, let him touch you in places only Yeosang could..

And he absolutely lost it when you allowed him to penetrate and stain you.

How could you? You were his and his only. You're not supposed to be begging and crying out for anyone that isn't him.

That's when Yeosang decided to take action. Living with you through a screen wasn't enough anymore...

He had to physically have you.

So he immediately began packing whatever he deemed necessary to bring you back.

He patiently waited until the bastard came out your house, and as soon as he got the opportunity.....

He came up behind him and wrapped a rope around his throat, strangling him with pure rage and disgust at the thought that he touched you.

He left his lifeless body in the yard and went inside for you.

Creeping up behind you, he got out a cloth that was drenched in nitrous oxide, and placed it over your nose and mouth.

"Shhh, ssssh. It's ok baby, I won't hurt you." He cooed at you softly.

He carefully layed your unconscious body on a couch.

He couldn't believe that he finally had you, see you, touch you, it was all surreal.

His hands began to caress and draw out each of your beautiful features.

Then they trailed down and began to caress other parts of your body.

He couldn't help himself as he fumbled to rid you of your clothes and of his own.

He entered you slowly, gasping at the wonder he felt at finally being inside you

He kept a slow and steady pace at first, wanting to savior the precious moment.

And then he remembered how just a few hours before, you had been tainted by some filthy asshole.

Then he began going rougher on your sleeping body, slapping your chest, thighs and face occasionally.

"How could you let some bastard touch you? Hmm? You're not some filthy whore for any man to take."

His hand gripped your neck and pulled you up to him.

"You're mine....you're all fucking mine. Only I can cum inside this pretty little hole." He growled as he fucked himself inside you, painting your walls as he always wanted to.

"And now it's time to go home."

You woke up in a strange room, tucked in a strange bed and with a burning ache in between your legs.

You tried to get up, but you were still dizzy from the gas attack from before.

When your eyes adjusted to the light, you gasped when you caught a pair of large brown eyes looking at you intensely.

"H- hi.." Yeosang waved at you cutely.

You just looked at him in confusion as he creeped up closer to you and smiled.

"Who...who are you? What am I doing here?" You asked.

He merely chuckled. "Silly girl. I'm Yeosang of course!" He stated as if it was a universally known fact.

He pouted when you didn't react.

"You know? Your soulmate? The love of your life?"

You actually let out a laugh at his words, which not only made him get embarrassed but also angry.

"First off all, I don't even know who the fuck you creep are. Second, I'm leaving whatever this nasty place is."

Before you could even move though, Yeosang was already pining you down on the bed.

It seemed you underestimated him, thinking because he looked lean he wouldn't be hard to take down...

But you were wrong...

Yeosang was incredibly strong and in one particular move where you tried to slap him, he retaliated by smacking you across your face.

You were left stunned by the force of it, which led to your nose bleeding and cheek burning.

Yeosang didn't stop there, he tilted your chin up and proceeded to give the same treatment to your other cheek, a nasty bruise would eventually form on that one.

"I really suggest you stop denying our love...for your sake and mine."

Yeosang's cold, emotionless eyes and icy voice sent shivers down your spine.

He looked absolutely insane, completely void of any feeling or rationality and that was extremely terrifying.

Yeosang only had 2 rules while you were with him: "Always love me and never leave me."

But it was so hard because he'd talk to you as if he knew you all your life, while he barely find out his last name.

Sometimes you were so uncomfortable or ended up spacing out, and he'd get upset so much that he'd either slap you or shove you to the floor.

"Tell me that you love me! I want you to say that you love me!" He cried out as his hands squeezed your neck tightly, barely letting you mutter out the words for him to finally let go of you and let you gasp for air.

You decided to play along then as best as you could to his little game.

Obviously it worked, he was happy and loving towards you, your behavior only feeding into his sick twisted illusion of a perfect relationship.

You hated it, hated playing into his delusional fantasy, hated having him touch you, feel you, caress you and love you in the bedroom.

You had to keep reminding yourself that it was only temporary, until you gained his trust enough to find a way to break free.

But time was passing by too fast and one day, during one of his many pregnancy tests you did, because Yeosang really wanted to have a baby with you, you nearly died.

It came out positive and you panicked.

You quickly disposed of the test, praying he'd never find it and began to search for anything to help you break open a door, a window.

You realized then that Yeosang never actually bolted the doors like he often told you, he'd just say that so you wouldn't even try it.

You opened the door, not caring that the alarm started going off, all you had to do was run to the next door house and ask for help.....

Except there was no next door house, nor was there a neighborhood....

There was nothing but a gate surrounding the house, and all around it was a dense forest, absolutely no sign of civilization.

You had no idea where you were and you were completely trapped. You started walking backwards and inhaled when your back pressed onto someone's chest.

Strong hands gripped your arms and one of them held up the pregnancy test that you desperately tried to get rid off.

You began crying, feeling utterly hopeless as a familiar and deep voice said:

"There's no escape......you won't ever leave..."

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[sweetescapeartist]

MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 70 REVIEW

We learn in the last chapter that the Cerealian Dragon's name is Toronbo when Granolah speaks Namekian. Toronbo grants Granolah's wish but can't make Granolah stronger than the gods.

Here's the confusion I have... Goku is a mortal beyond GoDs so making Granolah the strongest mortal is making him stronger than gods. If you wanna say Beerus has been training and is now stronger than Goku, there's still a problem. It was said that Goku and Vegeta were stronger than some GoDs right before the ToP (but that might be anime only, so maybe it doesn't apply here). So Granolah is stronger than GoDs no matter what. If the gods that Toronbo is speaking of are the Angels, then that means Granolah is Ultra Instinct level of power since Goku is the lowest in Angel tier. But whatever. Bottom line is Granolah is temporarily stronger than Goku who may or may not be stronger than Beerus.

Granolah gets his wish granted and the cost is shortening his life... cool. Not much to say except let's see how its executed.

(I recently read that in DBXV2, during the Infinite History Saga, Videl is enchanted with Towa's Dark Magic spell by Dabura shaving off her life but granting her greater power. So granting power at the cost of lifespan has been done in DB before. Not in canon but in the games.)

Also, Granolah's life being shortened to 3 yrs got me thinking... Currently it's almost AGE 781 in the DBS manga timeline. Goku leaves to train Uub in AGE 784. We got 3 yrs left. The original manga shows Bulma said she hadn't seen Goku in 5 yrs. How I see DBS is that it is an alternate timeline that just happens to have a similar outcome to the EoZ.

So... why is Vegeta learing from Beerus again if Beerus isn't that strong now? Is Vegeta being like Krillin and continuing his learning from a master weaker than him, but gaining wisdom & knowledge? I-is Vegeta becoming Krillin 2.0?! (More like dollar-store Krillin)

I do think beerus got stronger tho. He seems very confident that Vegeta can get stronger from learning from him. Beerus probably saw Goku get UI then decide to train aftet the ToP

Anyways, Beerus is teaching us about hakai/destruction energy. Its erasing something from existence, not just destroying it (we already knew that). But, Vegeta quickly figures out how to do it anyways. By destroying a tiny pebble...

A tangent again but I personally think Piccolo is capable of easily learning Hakai energy. Think about it. Piccolo can create clothing out of nothing, why could he not do the reverse?

Goku is uninterested in what Beerus & Vegeta are doing. I dont know about you, but it sounds like Goku thinks that he's above Beerus in strength. Beerus & Vegeta aren't considered a challenge to him in any way. Goku sees UI as more important & better than anything Beerus has to teach, and Goku is right. Plus Goku learned Hakai on his own while Vegeta needs Beerus to teach him. It's a waste of Goku's time to learn it again.

(God Comics is funny. I imagine Toribot writes them)

Goku says "Let's see which one of us can be the strongest in the universe!" Really, Goku...? At present time, Goku is the strongest mortal in the universe already. He should know that. Then Vegeta for some reason thinks he will become the strongest in the universe. The last time manga Vegeta was the strongest mortal in the universe was... never. He's always behind Goku or whatever new opponent arises. This scene is meant to be comedic that they're arguing over who will be the greatest but it's not funny to me. And yet Vegeta fans still hold on for hope.

But why is Goku concerned about being the strongest between him & Vegeta? Goku is far above Vegeta. They're not rivals at this point. Also, Goku was the strongest in the universe until just a few moments ago. Goku should be saying "I knew bein' the strongest wouldn't last for too long. Roshi did tell me there will always be somebody stronger out there. Hehe! This is gettin' me excited! I can't wait to meet 'em!" (This would alsp parallel Monaito giving Granolah the same advice Goku already knows.)

Also, I guess Broly isn't that strong after all. Bye Broly, you served your purpose. And to think that Goku had said that he thinks Broly is stronger than Beerus...

Oh yeah. So Vegeta destroys a pebble. Impressive? Goku kinda gives a compliment or he is practically saying "Good job Vegeta! You're doing great following in my footsteps!" Seriously, this would be so much better and cooler if this seperate paths of training began right after the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament. That would be the perfect spot to have them train under Beerus & Whis. [Vegeta using Hakai against Merged Zamasu, Goku able to fight Merged Zamasu temporarily because he is getting better at letting his body move on its own, Toppo & Vegeta using Hakai against each other as Goku & Jiren use power above GoDs. That would work so much better.]

Then Vegeta says he's gonna destroy bigger things soon... is that supposed to be more impressive? Its not. But this it to build up Vegeta even though there is nothing amazing about anything he is doing at the moment. Maybe later tho.

So Cerealians can't grow beards. Also I guess Granolah's race don't age? His hair grew when his lifespan was shortened but he has no wrinkles. It seems that they age more gracefully than Saiyans. If he has some wrinkles he would have looked cooler imo. Or those lines under the eyes at the very least. If the wish shortened his life & made his hair grow, it should have also showed that he aged. (Here's an edit I made of "Grampa Granolah." You're welcome)

And remember Vegeta destroying a pebble? Granolah can suddenly destroy big rocks! Cool right?! No? Its not cool? Showing Granolah destroy a much larger object right afterwards kinda belittles Vegeta's accomplishment.

Oatmil is surprised by a boulder exploding. This means one of 2 things. Oatmil is stupid & never saw an Granolah explode a boulder. Or it's implying that the boulder exploding is some technique Oatmil doesn't know of. Idk how he can tell its any different from just blowing up a rock with ki. I think it's supposed to be destruction energy. If it is then, ok. If getting his wish was so easy, then why can't he suddenly learn destruction as well?

Yay! Monaito! (This really should be a Namekian focused arc)

Granolah reminds me of Zamasu with his attitude a bit. Monaito tells him somebody stronger will definetly appear. Granolah has become like Vegeta and is over confident, so he is destined to get humbled. And think about this. Goku can probably train a bit and surpass Granolah within a week.

Granolah can now sense ki. Meaning he can have the destruction technique or UI, because why not?

Monaito blames himself for Granolah's actions. Its not your fault Monaito! You did nothing wrong! Dont be so hard on yourself.

Whis being a creep and peeping on people lol.

Granolah's hair growing was pointless because he cuts it off soon after. Nothing changed visually. This kinda reminds me of how Moro lost his arm. Goku gave him a senzu, Moro grew it back, & then Moro broke his arm when attacking Goku. Then Moro tore his arm off & reattached his old one. There was no need for Moro to grow his arm back then tear it off. Similarly, there is no need for Granolah to have grown long hair then cut it off.

Maki still brings a smile to my face. She & Gas stand out the most out of the Heeters. Maki's personality is kinda like Zangya combined with a teasing Bulma. Gas reminds me of a Krillin/Piccolo fusion with dreadlocks. I also ship Maki x Gas cause they're short and look cute together. (please don't be siblings so I can draw them together🤞)

Granolah fights Oil & Maki. I'm not impressed. They seem like they could be defeated by Chaoitzu (he's stronger than Raditz and probably Nappa now too). Granolah's movements could be seen as UI. If it is or isn't UI, it doesn't matter. Showing off that kind of power is like Goku using Ultra Instinct during a rematch with Nam or King Chappa. Its not effective storytelling. There had to be a better way of showing Granolah's new strength than making him fight opponents that give him zero challenge.

The art is good as usual and the panel flow is nice. Toyotaro is improving at creating the illusion of motion. The environment being used in the fight was smart and a good visual. Toyo still uses a ton of panels almost every page tho. But he's still a better artist than I am.

Granolah appears to have used Hakai again. Not the explosive variant but the sand variant (yes I think there are 2 ways of using Hakai).

The "Sand Variant" that Beerus & Goku (& maybe Granolah) have used.

The "Explosive Variant" Beerus & Vegeta (& maybe Granolah) have used.

Maki thinks the "Hakai" is magic so that's interesting. I would say I'd like for the next enemy to be a magic user but, we know how Moro turned out... 😓

Maki has "ki claws" & I like the idea but it would be better if she had used it against an enemy she can defeat. It doesn't make her look useful in this fight. Gas seems confident when he is about to fight Granolah, but Elec stops him. Gas would've gotten beaten but it make ya wonder what Gas can do.

Granolah appears to be a person that is easily manipulated and persuaded. He even gave information they weren't even asking for. He'll probably be easily convinced and manipulated by Freeza/the Hedters or quickly have a truce with Goku.

The Heeters plan to go to Planet Cereal to get the Dragon Balls. As I suspected, the Cerealian Dragon Balls were created so that it would be easy for wishes to be granted. Gathering 2 Dragon Balls on a nearby planet instead of gathering 7 on New Namek or Earth. Plus these new Dragon Balls ensures no interaction between Earthlings & Granolah/the Heeters. A perfect way to write Gohan & company out of the story... *sigh* 😔😒

We learn Cerealians live for 2 centuries. How's that compare to other races in Universe 7? Freeza & King Cold apparently can live more than 200 yrs, But that may be because they are mutants. Namekians can live for like 500 yrs & its possible for them to reincarnate themselves too. So in a way, Namekians can live forever. Saiyans stay youthful & live to be in their 80's, but rapidly age when they reach their 60's or 70's. Average Earthlings appear live to be in their 80's or 90's but some are over 100 yrs old (Dr. Briefs, Panchy, & Ox King are in their 90's in GT) and others can increase their lifespan through elixers or the Paradise Herb. Just some thoughts of mine.

Maki says "If he ices Freeza..." Ha, an ice pun. Elec wants to defeat Freeza so he can control his army. Its revealed they wanna kill Granolah & that they worked with Freeza to destroy his planet & race. Well... that more than likely means they're gonna die by Granolah's hand or Freeza's. This info is also an attempt to make the reader more sympathetic for Granolah. Granolah is too bland (pun intended) so I don't feel any more sympathy than I already had for him. Elec plans to make Goku & Vegeta fight Granolah since Granolah hates Saiyans. Smart but we all kinda expected it. Not bad writing tho.

The final panel talks about fate bringing the 3 (Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah) together. Sounds like a repeat of the Broly movie.

We've had 4 chapters in this arc & not 1 panel of Freeza... If Freeza doesnt appear & do something in the next chapter then I will be disappointed in the writing. Showing Freeza here and there would give tension and build up until we get the encounter with him. We also have no idea who Oatmil is. Is he an A.I. or a person? Not that big of a deal yet, but I would like to find out soon. Either show Freeza or tell us more about Oatmil next chapter pleaae

This chapter was like oatmeal (the food not the character) without butter, brown sugar, milk, & honey or raisins. Not bad, but not very good either. 

So here's my thoughts on the things that could or could not happen in this arc.

Goku vs Granolah. I don't care for the fight because the power is at a point that it doesnt make sense for enemies to get to without cheating somehow. The fight will look cool but I have no interest in it.

Vegeta vs Granolah will have Vegeta being stomped as always and Vegeta fans will make excuses & complain how it's not fair. A lot of Vegeta fans often make fun of Yamcha & Krillin for getting beat up even though those 2 bravely fight opponents leagues stronger than they are. Vegeta has gotten stomped by opponents more times than Krillin & Yamcha combined but the fans gotta deflect somehow. I don't care to hear or see the complaining again.

The interaction and dialogue between Granolah & Vegeta is going to be more interesting than their fight. But I worry because Toyo isn't the best at writing dialogue.

I have no reason to care about power growth, certain interactions, or Goku & Vegeta's training.

What I am curious about/want to see?

Monaito's well being. I want him to reunite with other Namekians. But I think he's been set up to die.

Lore about the dragon gods & Namekian lore we probably wont get.

I want Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, & others will be involved. Piccolo because of the Namekian & wosh granting dragon lore. Gohan because his interaction with Granolah eould be interesting since Gohan is half Saiyan & views himself as an Earthling. Krillin & other Earthlings because they can bring tensions where characters like Goku & Vegeta can't. Those 2 are too strong for there to be any real tension. However Earthlings aren't all powerful so them using wits to survive is more exciting. But I doubt any of their involvement.

How long a Cerealian year is? Is it shorter than a Namekian year? How much time will pass for the Cerealian Dragon Balls to be active? How much stronger than Granolah will Goku get? Hopefully the answers aren't lazy...

Will Beerus finally fight somebody? There are 6 mortals that are near or above his power (Goku, Granolah, Vegeta, Broly, Freeza, Gohan).

Who's the villian of the next arc & what explanation is going to be given for them having power on the level of Angels? Angel tier fights don't sound interesting to me anymore. After those kinds of battles, Goku will have no challengers left.

Will Goku disappear to train or something so the story can TRY to match up with the EoZ?

Will Goten, Trunks, & Marron hit their growth spurts within 3 yrs?

Will we get spin-off manga about other characters? PLEASE!? 🙏

Also DBS moved too quickly when it comes to power. Now we're at the point that Goku & Vegeta need to stop being involved in fights for there to be any actual threat or tension. The Buu saga took place in AGE  774. After training for 4 years of peace, Goku thought SS3 & fusion was his limits as a Saiyan and he was right. Well, kinda... Goku was introduced to god ki near the end of AGE 778. Then in AGE 781, Goku masters Ultra Instinct... He mastered an Angel technique in 2 year or 2.5 yrs. That was waaaay too fast. As a result the storytelling & writing are suffering from this rushed progress. Now we're gonna have an Angel tier opponent? According to the pattern of DBS, Goku's gonna end up surpassing the Angels within 2 or 3 yrs after learning god ki. Thats not impressive for Goku, that's terrible writing. And no, Goku getting this strong so fast is not a benefit to Saiyans either. It just shows us that without god ki, Saiyans ain't all that powerful unless they're the legendary Saiyan like Broly. Saiyans didn't even have a concept of training until Goku was trained by Earthlings. Gohan, Freeza, 17, & I'm pretty sure Piccolo as well have all surpassed SS3 without the help of god ki. God ki makes Saiyans look like they have limits. With god ki, the writing is broken....

I got off topic again... Anyways that's the end of my review.