#if you rebagel ill gut you like a fish<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

im putting my emotions in this little void instead of talking to a real human being<3 

ughhhhhhh blah blah blah man im SAD. im fucking DOWN lately. just full on miserable. its been like this for a couple weeks and like, i dont even know what it is. or. i dont know. maybe i do. im having trouble readjusting to being a person again. which is fucking stupid. all i wanted for fifteen months was to be a person again. guess what bitch, heres your opportunity!! lifes back!!! go live it!!! and instead im ignoring my friends texts and just going to work and coming home and Sitting Around Being Sad. but like, even when i DO go out with my friends i feel bummed out and so i dont want to go out with them because i feel like a debward downer you know?? but also like - and listen, i love my friends so very very much like So Much Like Oh My God - but sometimes i feel like i cant be the sad one because everybody else has too much going on and if EYE dont have my shit in check then we’re all fucking doomed. somebody has to keep rowing this sad fucking boat, you know? so im rowing it. so im going to work. so im occasionally checking the group chat and not replying. so my laundry is sitting undone in the corner and i need a shower something fierce and everyday i keep waking up and putting shit off and being fucking pathetic. ugh. its just like ... what am i supposed to do, now? i could do anything. thats a trick question. but what do i DOOOOOOOO. im overwhelmed and underwhelmed and scared shitless and fucking lonely as shit. i dont feel like i belong in the real world anymore. but now im expected to rejoin it. or, i have rejoined it, and im not having a good time. or something. i dont know. thats the problem!!! i just dont know!!!!! maybe i need to see a therapist again. except i dont know how i would broach that without my mother getting SOOOOOOO weird. like she knows ive been in therapy previously but i feel like if i told her i wanted to go back she would put me on psuedo sui-watch and it would b miserable. jesus. jesus jesus jesus. i dont know. ive downloaded like three different dating apps because i just wanna be in love except everytime i open them i am filled with a deep disgust for their whole deal. theyre so stupid and shallow and impossible to navigate and anytime anybody messages me i wanna be like I DONT KNOW YOU LEAVE ME ALONE. but i also cant go out and meet people because ive forgotten how to be alive. ugh. everybody leave me alone except dont. dont do that at all. whatever. WHAT EV EVER.