#if you read this sry but also thanks that was nice of you 💀

[ratwars]

Fyodor self ship hcs

Taking him to the bar I used to be a regular at.

He likes the basement more than the upstairs. It's cramped and dark with low ceilings it reminds him of some of his various hideouts and there are less people.

He is horrified by the communal popcorn machine. He thinks it's unsanitary and doesn't understand why they can't legally serve food but can have *that*. He reluctantly tries the popcorn (read: I force a piece in his mouth when his defenses are down and he gets huffy about it) and actually likes it but does not want anymore because drunk ppl scooping out bar popcorn from a janky machine still is not his cup of tea. Did someone just use their hands? They absolutely did. "Just don't think about it" "No."

He appreciates the fact it is cash only and no one IDs him when he comes in with someone the doorman knows (of course he has fake IDs because of his shady occupation but it is nice to not have to use them)

He is amused by the cigarette vending machine "what year is it?" 💀

Speaking of tea, he is shocked to learn that despite the fact this is absolutely a dive bar the downstairs bartender keeps a kettle and a coffee maker and he can have hot drinks if he wants (he does. It is colder in the basement).

He falls under the impression that tea and coffee are free and that the drinks are much cheaper than upstairs. It takes coming back a few times to realize the guy downstairs just gives me and anyone i bring with me free things constantly and never charges me correctly.

He hacks the digital jukebox from his phone discretely to give me unlimited plays and also pushes my songs up the queue in front of everyone else's.

He is okay at darts but since it is very small and cramped and there is only one dart board shoved under the stairs and one pool table we don't get to play unless we come back other times.

Since it is so laid back and close knit with the downstairs crowd (and he has a silver tongue) he makes friends easily. He quickly realizes while he is going to spin tales about who he actually is he doesn't need to very often. He isn't the only strange person in this room and no one is going to ask him for personal information if he doesn't volunteer it himself. He definitely would come back with me again 😌

I am bad at pool but he assures me he barely knows how to play so I agree. He wants to wager on it 20 a set which is suspicious but I agree to that as well.

He lied. He is great at pool and he wipes the floor with me and takes me for at least 100 because I'm pissed and keep insisting on another set since no one else is waiting to use the table and I think I can at least win once. I don't. I just played right into his hand but he knows he can only use that trick once so next time he teaches me how to play better (no gambling involved)

[shiftingparadise]

ooh do u think u can do a modern aspiring classical(?) musicians eren & reader enemies to lovers, childhood lover, mutual pining but unknown to ea/o type story? (absolutely no rush tho😊) been competing against ea/o since kids, eren has a crush on reader & thinks teasing/picking at them is flirting💀 but also kinda sad cuz he knew he sorta already messed up his chances w reader from how he's "treated" them by accidentally one-upping them as kids most the time, so he keeps them close by teasing/bickering often just for any interaction. he does have a soft spot for reader but they get weirded out/confused(?) by his softness at times when eren's genuinely being nice instead of the usual teasing. maybe eren could get caught by reader playing his own lil rendition he made of all of reader's fav pieces into one that he was planning to keep to himself but know that u heard, u ask to play the whole thing & savor moment of u two alone unaware of how intimate the situation is, then confession✨ sry i always make up artistic/musical/ballet scenarios of person getting caught or oblivious to someone admiring their art😭🥺

Hi, I'm sorry you had to wait so long! I hope you like what I've done with it!:) Enjoy reading! 🤍✨

I really loved your request btw, it pushed me out of my comfort zone a little bit (so I'm really sorry if it's not that good) but I love being pushed out of my comfort zone, so thank you!

Word count 4.200

You’ve known Eren since you were kids. You ended up in the same music class after school, both playing the piano. For some reason, there was a fierce rivalry between the two of you. You both wanted to outdo the other, to make sure everyone knew who was better. To be honest, you didn’t know when it started exactly, but you could remember everything as if it happened yesterday. 

--- 

‘No, I’m way better than you! My mom got me a teacher ever since I was 5’, you looked at the brunette who was sitting next to you in your music class, ‘Watch and learn’, you could see a smug look appearing on his face. 

You and Eren had been in the same music class for over a year now. You both were on top of the class, and now it was time to decide who got the first solo. 

‘Miss Lucy, can I try?’, Eren quickly raised his hand, waving it in the air, ‘Of course Eren’, you could see the teacher kindly smiling at him. You narrowed your eyes, wishing Eren would make some kind of mistake. ‘Watch closely Y/N’, Eren cracked his fingers, smiling at you, ‘This is how it’s done’. You could see the brunette walking towards the piano, the smug smile never left his face. 

In the next following minutes, Eren played the complete solo with not a single mistake. You wanted that part more than anything, and you knew he knew that. He just wanted to outdo you, to be better than you. 

‘Wow, that was amazing Eren!’, Miss Lucy started clapping, smiling at your rival, ‘I can’t believe you’re only 10 when I hear you play. Your rhythm, the feeling you put behind it… It’s amazing!’, ‘That’s because you teach us so well Miss Lucy’, Eren smiled at his teacher before glancing at you, making sure you were hearing the conversation between the two. ‘Tch, kiss-ass’, you whispered under your breath while rolling your eyes. ‘Okay, so that’s it for today’s class, make sure to practice as much as you can! I’ll announce who gets the solo next week, oh, and don’t worry if you don’t get it! There’ll be plenty of chances in the future’, you could see her waving at everyone. 

You quickly grabbed your music sheets and put them in your backpack. 

‘Hm, I wonder who’ll get the solo’, you could see Eren standing in front of you, ‘Leave me alone Eren’, you stood up from your chair, brushing your shoulder against him. ‘What? Aren’t you happy for me?’, Eren’s hand grabbed your shoulder, ‘Don’t touch me!’, you turned around to him, ‘You knew how badly I wanted that solo’. ‘So?’, the brunette folded his arms, ‘I can’t help it that you’re not as good as me!’. 

‘Eren, Y/N, be nice to each other’, you could hear your mother’s voice, ‘Eren, is that true? Did you do that?’, you could see Eren’s mother looking sternly at him. ‘I-I did not!’, ‘Yes you did!’, you balled your hands, hoping your mother would intervene. ‘Don’t worry Y/N, you’ll get it next time’, your mother smiled before kindly placing her hand on the back of your head, ‘But mom! He doesn’t even care about the solo!’, you fiercely protested, but your mother raised her hand, as to say that she didn’t want to hear it. 

You looked over your shoulder at Eren. You could see his mom was angry with him, probably because he was screaming at her, like he always did. 

--- 

Another year passed, and it was once again time for the teacher to pick someone for the solo.

‘Hey’, ‘What?’, you sighed while entering the classroom, ‘Are you going to try and get the solo this year?’, ‘I’m not trying, I will get it this year’, you turned around to Eren, ‘I won’t let you take it from me!’, you narrowed your eyes. ‘Tch’, Eren started to laugh, ‘You can try all you want loser, I’m sure Miss Lucy will be over the moon once she hears me play’. You could feel Eren’s shoulder brushing yours, pushing you. You closed your eyes, trying your best not to throw your backpack against his head. 

‘So, who wants to try?’, Miss Lucy smiled while letting her gaze wander over her students, ‘I do! I do!’, you quickly raised your hand, hoping you got to go first, ‘Okay, go on Y/N, show us what you got’, Miss Lucy opened her arm towards the piano. ‘Yeah’, Eren smirked next to you, ‘Show us what you got loser’, ‘Shut up Eren’, you gritted through your teeth while grabbing your music sheets from your backpack. 

You felt nervous while walking to the piano. Not because you were afraid you were going to mess up but for some reason, you wanted to impress Eren. You wanted him to be jealous of your skills, no, you wanted him to admire you. 

You didn’t understand back then, you didn’t understand it because you were only 11, but now you know why you felt like that. 

‘I’ll show him’, you thought to yourself while sitting down on the piano chair. 

‘Good luck Y/N’, Miss Lucy sat down on her chair behind you. You took a deep breath while closing your eyes for a second, ‘Come on Y/N, you can do this’, you whispered to yourself before gently placing your hands on the keys of the piano. 

You started playing. You could feel every emotion of the song, it felt as if you were breathing it, as if you were the one who wrote it.

‘Amazing!’, you could hear Miss Lucy clapping from behind you, but you didn’t look at her, no, you let your gaze wander towards Eren. You could see him sitting with his eyes wide open, mouth slightly parted. When he noticed you were staring at him, he quickly folded his arms, looking towards the ground with frowned eyebrows. You couldn’t help but smirk, you knew he didn’t expect you to play this good. ‘So, do you want to try too Eren? After all, you two are at the top of the class’, Lucy smiled at him. 

You stood up from the piano chair, walking towards your seat. 

‘Good luck ‘Ren’, you whispered to him with a smug face, ‘Shut up loser’. 

‘Huh?’, you frowned your brows, looking confused at the brunette. For some reason, he made more mistakes than he’d ever done. Didn’t he practice? No, you knew him. You knew he’d been practicing, after all, he wanted nothing more than to outdo you. 

‘Okay everyone, that’s it for today’, Miss Lucy handed everyone new music sheets, ‘Practice this for next time. Oh, and I think it’s clear Y/N will get the solo’, she kindly smiled at you, ‘You’ve done a great job Y/N!’. 

Normally you would’ve jumped with joy, but not this time. You knew Eren had made those mistakes on purpose, you knew if he gave it his all he would’ve got the solo. Eren just had that ‘something’ when he sat behind the piano. It seemed as if he became fused with the instrument, as if he became one with it. Eren had that raw talent, the kind of talent you were just born with. You could practice all you want, but you would never be that talented.

‘Eren’, you quickly ran after him, grabbing his shoulder before he walked out of the door, ‘What loser?’, Eren rolled his eyes. ‘Why did you make those mistakes on purpose?’, you looked at his feet, not wanting him to mistake your words for gratitude. ‘I-i… I did not! W-why would you-‘, ‘Huh?’, you tilted your head. Eren normally never stuttered, and he certainly never blushed when you talked to him. ‘I didn’t make those on purpose!’, Eren smacked your hand from his shoulder, ‘Leave me alone loser’. You could see Eren quickly running towards his mom’s car, leaving you standing there. You never felt so confused in your entire life. 

 --- 

Years passed, and you were now almost 17. Over the years, nothing changed, not really anyway. Eren was still the same cocky boy who teased and made fun of you. The rivalry between you two was as strong as ever; but over the years, you grew to like him. Even though he teased you, even though he made your life difficult at times … You liked him. When he sat down behind the piano and the persona he created fell apart, when he let the music speak, when he became one with that piano… He intrigued you. Sure, Eren was handsome, but that’s not why you developed feelings for him. You fell in love because you knew that underneath his tough and mean exterior, there was more to him. There was this talented, complicated, kind boy. You knew that because (even if it only happened 1 or 2 times) he showed it to you. He showed you that he could be kind and caring.

‘Hey loser’, ‘What Eren’, you sighed while closing your locker, ‘Nothing, I was just wondering if you’d sign up for the Talent Show’. ‘Why would I? I’m sure you’re going to steal the show again, like you always do’, you rolled your eyes. ‘W-wait’, Eren widened his eyes, ‘Aren’t you going to sign up?’, you shook your head in response, looking up into his green eyes. You could see Eren was confused, ‘What’s wrong pretty boy? I thought you would like –‘, ‘It isn’t fun when I don’t get to compete with you’, Eren narrowed his eyes, looking away from you. ‘Well, Amy’s participating, she plays the violin pretty well. There’s your competition’, you gently pushed him away, walking towards your class. ‘W-wait’, you could feel his hand on your wrist. You immediately froze when you felt his fingers resting on your skin, causing goosebumps to appear on your entire arm. ‘You need to participate Y/N, otherwise, it isn’t fun’, you could see the brunette blushing while scratching the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but smile, ‘Fine, but don’t cry when I steal your thunder pretty boy’, you smirked at him before walking towards your class, ‘Don’t worry, you’re only a loser Y/N, always have been, and you always will be one’, Eren smirked from behind you. ‘Fuck you Ren’, you sighed without looking back at him, holding your middle finger up in the air. 

--- 

Another year passed, and you were now studying for your finals. You and Eren both applied for the same college. It’s not like you planned it, but you wanted to major in classical music, and when you heard Eren wanted the same thing, well… You kind of asked him where he wanted to go and based your decision on his. 

‘H-huh?’, you widened your eyes when you could see a note sticking on your locker: 

‘Good luck Y/N, even though I hate you, I don’t want you to fail – Ren’.

‘This can’t be from him’, you carefully took the note from your locker, inspecting every inch of it. ‘What?’, you could hear his voice coming from behind you, ‘It’s mine’, he chuckled while holding his hand behind his back. ‘Really?’, you raised an eyebrow, ‘I’m a loser, failing is what I do’, you shrugged your shoulders. ‘Shut up loser’, Eren was gently massaging the back of his neck, looking at his feet, ‘H-here’, he took his hand from behind his back ‘H-huh? A-are those for me?’, you pointed towards the flowers he was holding. ‘Of course dumbass’, Eren pushed the flowers on your chest, waiting for you to hold them, ‘Even though I hate you, I still want you to go to the same college as me… And not because I like you! Like I said… You’re a loser b-but.. Well, you’re my only competition so… Good look with your finals’, Eren gritted through his teeth. You could see that his cheeks were burning red. To be honest, you didn’t know what to say or what to do, you felt confused. ‘What? Do you want them or not?’, Eren widened his eyes, still pressing the flowers on your chest, ‘O-of course’, you quickly shook yourself out of the trance you were in, grabbing the flowers from the brunette, ‘T-thanks Ren’, you whispered while looking at the ground. ‘Don’t thank me, I’m only doing this for myself. I need you to pass, otherwise, I won’t have a reason to give everything I got’, ‘Yeah yeah, don’t ruin it Ren’, you smiled before walking away from him. You didn’t want him to see the smile on your face, to see how happy he made you. 

--- 

‘I don’t know Armin’, Eren sighed to the blonde whom he shared his dorm with, ‘I’m sure I’ve ruined every chance I got with Y/N’. Eren was laying down on his bed, looking at the ceiling. ‘Don’t say that’, the blonde boy responded, ‘She probably feels the same, I’ve seen the way she looks at you’. ‘No, I’ve always teased her, taking things away from her. I’ve been calling her a loser and dumbass my entire life… She hates me’, Eren placed both of his hand on his face, hating the way he acted towards you, ‘You should see her behind that piano Armin… She’s so fucking beautiful, so smart, so kind… I don’t know why I’ve always treated her like that’. ‘You know her better than anyone, right?’, Armin sat up straight, worried about his depressed roommate, ‘Probably’, Eren turned his head while looking through his fingers at the blonde. ‘Why don’t you write a composition of all of her favorite songs? You can play it for her when you’re done, or you can record it and give it to he-‘, ‘No, are you crazy? I would look like a fool!’, Eren sat up straight, frowning at his roommate. ‘Eren, believe me’, Armin smiled at Eren, ‘Girls really like things like that’, ‘Whatever Armin’, Eren stood up, ‘I’m getting coffee, want anything?’. 

At first, Eren hated Armin’s idea, but the longer he thought about it, the more sense it made. I mean, it would show you how much he cared about you, how much attention he paid to the things you said, or even didn’t say. It would show you how much you meant to him. So for the next month or so, Eren worked on a piece for you, but somehow it felt like he couldn’t play the piano anymore. Nothing was good enough for you. The piece had to be perfect, he didn’t want to miss a single beat, a single note, he needed it to be perfect, like you. 

--- 

‘Hey loser’, you could feel Eren’s hand on your shoulder, ‘Want to hang out after Music History?’, ‘No’, you said coldly, ‘W-why not?’, Eren tilted his head. ‘Because I’m going on a date’, you looked at him with a sparkle in your eyes. 

Eren could feel his heart aching, his stomach turning. 

‘A-a date?’, Eren chuckled, ‘You? I wonder who would want to go out with a loser like you’, ‘Eren really? We’re almost 20 years old… How long are you going to bully me’, you sighed while lowering your eyes, ‘I know we’ve been doing this since we were kids but… You’re the only one who really knows me… Please just… Just leave me alone if you can’t say anything nice’, you turned your back towards him, not waiting for a response. 

You were tired of his bullying, you were tired of being insecure, of loving someone who didn’t love you back. 

‘Hey Y/N!’, Eren could see a boy calling out your name, ‘Ready for our date tonight?’. ‘N-no way’, Eren widened his eyes, balling his fists, ‘What the hell is Jean doing with her? Out of all the boys, she picks that jerk, the one who sleeps with every girl on campus’. ‘Of course, Jean, can’t wait’, Eren could see you smiling at him, wanting nothing more than for you to look at him as you did at Jean. 

---

‘No, I’m not going to play it for her now’, Eren sighed to Armin, ‘She’s happy with fucking Jean’, ‘Maybe if you-‘, ‘No Armin, shit’, Eren grunted out, ‘I’m never going to play it for her, it’s obvious she doesn’t like me. She told me to keep away from her if I…’, Eren paused, he could hear his voice breaking. ‘I’m going for a walk’, Eren sighed while walking out of the room he and Armin shared. ‘Eren wait –‘, but Eren already slammed the door behind him. 

--- 

A couple of months passed, and you and Jean were dating. Honestly, it felt like it was going great. You were happy with Jean. 

‘Y/N, have you heard?’, you could hear Sasha running towards you, ‘What?’, you smiled at your friend. ‘Well…’, she was nervously scratching her shoulder, ‘J-jean… H-he.. Here, look’, Sasha held out her phone, ‘I thought you should know...’. 

It felt as if your heart was shattered into a million pieces. Sasha was showing you a video of your boyfriend, he was kissing some girl at a party, and his hands were moving across her body, feeling every inch of it. 

‘Y/N?’, Sasha whispered to you, noticing the tears in your eyes, ‘I-I’m so sorry… I just… I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.. You know, since I’m your best friend. I thought-‘, ‘No it’s fine Sasha’, you forced a smile on your face, ‘I have class, I’ll see you tonight, okay?’, you blurted out, trying to hold back your tears. ‘Y/N, wait!’, you could hear her calling out for you, but you didn’t turn around, you wanted to be left alone. 

You almost ran towards your room, hoping your roommate wouldn’t be there. You really needed to be alone right now. 

‘Y/N?’, you could hear Eren’s voice while opening your door, ‘What’s wrong? I can see you’re going to cry’. ‘N-nothing’s wrong’, you tried to keep your hands steady, wanting nothing more than to open the door of your room, but for some reason, you couldn’t find the right key. ‘Shit’, you grunted when you dropped the keys, quickly picking them up. ‘Here’, you could hear Eren’s soft voice, 

You noticed he wanted to pick up the keys at the same time as you did, causing you to bump your head against his.  

 ‘S-shit I’m sorry’, you grunted out while placing your hand against your forehead, ‘N-no I’m sorry’, Eren quickly helped you up, ‘Y/N what’s wrong? I can see something’s wrong’, his green eyes were looking worried into yours. ‘I-it’s nothing, I just saw a video of Jean kissing another girl’, you pressed your lips together, trying to ignore the singing sensation in your eyes. 

‘Stay calm Eren, don’t say or do anything stupid, even though you want nothing more than to punch Jean. Try to stay calm’, Eren thought to himself, trying to ignore the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins. 

‘Jean’s a low-life Y/N, don’t worry about a guy like him’, Eren replied coldly. ‘Really Eren?’, you sighed with tears in your eyes, ‘That’s all you got to say?’, ‘What do you want me to say Y/N? You’re the one who dated someone like him! You’re the one who decided to date the guy who’s fucked every girl on campus’. 

You widened your eyes, trying to grasp what Eren just said. 

‘So it’s my fault? That’s what you’re saying, right?’, ‘Well, it’s not my fault’, Eren replied, his voice was shaking. ‘I can’t believe I expected you to be nice for once’, you chuckled while shaking your head towards the ground, ‘You know what Eren? Fuck you, I don’t want to see you again. You’re nothing to me’, you could feel your hands shaking. ‘Y/N-‘, Eren widened his eyes, hating himself for not having any control over his emotions. ‘No, I’m serious Eren, stay away from me. You’ve never said anything nice to me, not once. I’ve known you for almost 10 years!’, you pushed him before quickly opening the door to your dorm, ‘Next time you see me, don’t bother to say anything to me. I don’t want to hear your ‘Hey Loser’ or I swear to God’, you looked at your shaking hands, closing your eyes before entering your dorm, hoping he got the message. 

--- 

You couldn’t sleep that night, so you decided to go to the music room. You knew it would be empty now, and you could really use some distraction. After all, playing the piano was always a coping mechanism for you. You could let out all of your emotions, all of your anger, sadness, frustration… 

‘W-wait’, you smiled when you heard someone playing Nuvole Bianche from Ludovico Einaudi, your favorite musician, ‘W-who’s playing the piano right now? It’s 4 in the morning’, you frowned while walking towards the classroom. 

‘W-what? That’s Moonlight Sonata from Beethoven’, you stopped walking, wondering which song would play after the next transition. 

Whoever was playing didn’t just play the original versions of the songs, no, they made it their own. You couldn’t help but notice it would be how Eren would play them. They were edgier, less ‘fragile’. Eren always did that to songs. 

‘No way’, you smiled when you heard your favorite song after the Moonlight Sonate, ‘T-that’s Gymnopédie No.1’, you started running towards the room. You needed to know who was playing. 

‘N-no’, you whispered to yourself when you could see the familiar face behind the piano. You were right, it was Eren. But why was he playing all of your favorite songs? It’s not like he knew that they were your favorite, right? You never told him anything like that… You decided to wait for him to stop playing, you wanted to hear more. Your heart was racing at the sight of him. He looked so perfect, so sweet, so kind… The way he touched the keys of the piano during Gymnopédie… As if he was grazing the keys, as if he was caressing them. It hypnotized you. 

‘Shit’, you whispered when you dropped your phone to the ground.  You quickly stood up from one of the chairs, embarrassed when you could see him looking at you. He must think you were some kind of stalker, fearing he was even going to bully you even more. ‘Y-Y/N?’, Eren quickly stood up from the piano, ‘P-please don’t stop’, you whispered, 'I-it was beautiful'. 'W-why are you here?', his voice sounded different from usual, maybe because he was tired. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt, but y-you were playing my favorite songs’, you looked at the ground, ‘I’m sorry Ren, goodnight’, you walked towards the door. ‘I knew they were your favorites’, Eren’s voice was now shaking, ‘T-that’s why I played them’. ‘H-huh?’, you looked over your shoulder at him, you could see his eyes were hanging low, letting them wander across the keys. ‘I knew they were your favorites because… because I know you’, Eren walked towards you while scratching the back of his head. ‘I know you know me’, you whispered while turning back around, ‘But I never told you they were my favorites’. ‘N-no but… You always carried a copy of them with you… and I noticed you were always practicing them, trying to make them your own’, Eren softly grabbed your wrist, ‘I know that you struggle with the sharp notes in Gymnopédie, just like I know you struggle with the flats in the songs of Debussy’. ‘W-wait’, you turned around at him, trying to keep your voice steady, ‘H-how do you know?’. ‘I watch you play… At night, when you can’t sleep’, you could see he felt embarrassed. 

Unable to speak, you just looked at him, wondering why he would do something like that. 

‘I know it sounds wrong, but I can’t keep my eyes off you Y/N… I like you, I’ve always liked you. The only reason I called you names and teased you was because I like you and I…’, you could see him doubting for a second, ‘I love you Y/N, ever since we were kids. I don’t know why I acted the way I did, probably because I wanted to keep you close without you noticing that I liked you, but-‘. 

You didn’t let him finish. He told you all you needed to know. Eren cared about you, just like you cared about him. You swung your arms around him, pressing your lips against his. 

‘I told you… You’re the loser’, you whispered in between kisses, ‘W-what?’, Eren looked confused at you. ‘You confessed first’, you smirked at him, ‘So you’re the loser’. ‘I can’t believe you’re making a competition out of this’, Eren chuckled while pulling you closer again, ‘Fine, you win. I don’t mind if that means you’re mine’.