#if you read this im so sorry. i take no responsibility for the psychic damage im causing

[ferrocyan]

not to be a weeb but i do think about tarts personal pronoun changing over the years

in arr its アタシ (atashi, its girly and kinda childish) then changed to ワタシ (watashi, technically proper except being written in katakana suggests shes a bit awkward w it) in hvw except when she avoided using that around edmont or the other high house members (even francel tbh, haurchefant and emmanellain are the only exceptions) then in stb zenos made her slip back to オレ(ore, the masculine pronoun which is rude to use irl but its normal for anime boys. in katakana its more casual) its just one time though tart mumbling to herself abt thinking of zenos as her friend.. best friend... (ominous) or it was until he killed himself and tart fully became an ore girl around the alliance soldiers. she didnt rly like this abt herself tbh... so after falling at the ghymlit dark she told aymeric "うちに帰らせてありがとう" (thanks for bringing me home) うち(uchi) taking on a double meaning as both home and a feminine personal pronoun so it also means "thanks for bringing me back to myself" oh im crazy i dont even speak japanese ignore what i say this probably doesnt work lmaooo [if aymeric ever brings this up again tart will absolutely murder him] anyway so in shb and edw she uses ワタシ again except around reeq she would use オレ tbh but its fine this time its different trust me. anyway the big bombshell is when tart the catboy calls the scions to introduce himself after his "fantasia" and uses 私 (watashi. the normal way you write it) in this context i mean it to say that tart has shed his awkwardness and despite the complicated Circumstances around his gender change he is comfortable in his own skin. so even just from that its easy for the scions to accept who he is now. but then. when the rite of succession is over and tart rejects wuk lamats offer to stay as her companion, he starts to use 自分 (jibun, meaning oneself) why, oh dont worry ab--(a page from the website japanesewithanime dot com falls out of my pocket) "The pronoun jibun 自分 is associated with military officers, police men, detectives, professions that follow a strict rules, and where knowing your place in the hierarchy is fundamental." ahem i said dont worry about it hes not a clear reflection of zoraal ja or anything, definitely not someone feeling like hes losing his place in life bc he doesnt know how to exist as his own person and not a weapon for the military. definitely not a problem so bad that sphene cant stand to see him denying his own personhood and she kills him about it. yeah no its all good. so tart as souleater definitely uses オレさま(oresama, the most pompous male pronoun in existence. however not in kanji like 俺様 bc his ass is faking that pomposity) onstage. in fact he should call himself このオレさま(same thing but with emphasis. you want to smack this brat upside the head so so bad) once it would be so funny. hearing tart say jibun outside the arena gives yaana whiplash but honeyb is just like "okay repressed catholic i know what you are 😒" okay thats all i have to say thanks

[meatriarchived]

[boss music plays as a hp bar appears above my head] hi renee (: i just wanted to say i'm super thankful that i met you this year, and that we literally hit it off and have been vibing ever since. you're such a chill person to hang out with, and i am thankful to have unlocked the frienship dlc with you where we're silly goofy in video games.

i'm sorry but also never sorry for when we start goin back and forth doing critical psychic damage to each other with our unhinged aus and offshoot narratives. you have such a talent and range, and all the muses you have written are ones that feel truly built from the ground up by you. and like, they really are!! i love watching you take a character with little to no lore, and specifically ms maria wronged-by-the-narrative flores, and how you give them the love and care that their creators never will frankly-- danny-alejo osorio > danny gaines every day, mama luda our mom, thomas im scared of you. birdie ur humour and final girl swag. even when hoyt jumpscares us all and dunks on my son im like damn i respect that renee you were so brave and wrote that demon. and ofc maria written as the heart of the narrative doomed or not.

i love building dynamics with you, i love peeking into your creative mind through all your metas, you legit have a garden growing in ur brain. i love that you're willing to get on the insanity level w me w our sad little meowmeows and weave together a story that hurts my feelings every time. i love reading your horror especially, explorations of trauma and the difficult nuances behind it. it inspires me to get a little braver with it and i'm constantly trying to pick up things from your writing! you are funny and kind and a creative powerhouse and i am often simply like damn renee's mind for this…. u know?

anyway all this 2 say ily and i'm glad we're pals, and i hope the new year is kind to you <3!!!

didya enjoy the uno reverse i gave ya for this kels :)) hows that hp bar of yours huh?- FBNJk

you already got all my sappiness in my message to you but do know i so appreciate everything that you said here and in the lil response to the ask as well <3 truly means the world to me how much you guys enjoy where ive been taking my lil texas band of misfits esp with how little they have to go on so most of its my own unhinged nonsense and also just. my writing and characterizations and all of that. esp coming from my hiatus and truthfully feeling rather down and unimpressed with my own writing - knowing you guys not only enjoy it but even pull any little bits of inspiration at all from it warms my heart like you wouldnt believe. so infinitely thank you for that <3

im keeping this saved on here as my last lil posts before this blogs officially archived <3 ilu and thank you again and cannot wait for more of our texas nonsense this year!!! :))

KISSES TO THE SKY TO YOU & OUR FAVORITE JOCK <3