#if you rb with your favorite line i WILL fall in love with you that's how it works

[xythlia]

𓏲 ࣪₊ ʟᴏꜱɪɴ' ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ

♡⃕ ࣪ nsfw. minors do not interact ⸝⸝ fem reader, mention of biting, cowgirl, creampie, kinda subby levi, praise, mostly soft smut

♡⃕ ࣪ ft. lucifer, mammon, levi

a/n | I was kinda surprised how much ppl liked this little blurb in response to an ask about the characters crying bc mc is too tight & I had many requests to do drabbles for everyone but I'll split them up into parts so it's easier for me, so this is eldest only younger brothers are next then dateables ^⁠_⁠^ pt2 is here!

feedback / rbs are appreciated ♡

› 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑

He enjoys placing restrictions on himself, no matter crazy with want he is Lucifer's movements remain slow. Every slow push inside your cunt makes his head spin, leaving him nearly gasping at how snug you are around him. No matter how badly part of him wants to simply hike your legs up and set a pace that would leave you sobbing beneath him the larger part of himself refuses to give this up.

Your breathing hitches as his hips pull back, leaving just the swollen tip of his cock inside you before pushing back inside against your muscles in a noticeably gentle thrust. His lips mark a path from your jaw down to the side of your neck as the lewd sounds of skin on skin fill the air. Your nails dig into his shoulders and as one of his hands slides down to gingerly circle your clit your pussy clenches around him, making him bite his bottom lip. His own breathing quickly becomes ragged, but his pace remains steady.

He's a demon of discretion, knowing when it's more apt to savor every second spent inside you.

› 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍

The confirmation that you want this, that you want him, is enough to nearly bring him to tears. Mammons every touch is reverent, laced with love and each kiss drips adoration down your throat. His hands shake lining up his flushed, precum slicked cock with your entrance. The drag of your warm, slick cunt makes him whimper, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

He forgets himself easily, too caught up in how you squeeze his cock; the push and pull of your body bringing him back in, both of you begging the other for more. Mammon needs to be as close to you as possible, there's no space between your bodies and he rests his forehead against yours and laces your fingers together.

As your legs lock around his hips his teeth nip your skin, begging wordlessly for it to never end.

› 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈

He loses his head too easily, but how could you blame him when you whine and squeeze around him so tight it makes him feel lightheaded? He may be overzealous but it comes from a place of pure need, grabbing onto your hips and bringing you to bend down while he bucks his hips into you. When he feels close, he completely falls apart beneath you, a babbling mess of praises for how good you feel, how badly he wants to cum inside you.

Once he's on the threshold you lean back, hands splayed against his chest to enjoy how full he makes you feel. As you raise your hips, letting his cock slip out just enough before sliding back down you enjoy your favorite view: hells admiral moaning beneath you, fingers digging into the fat of your ass as his hips push up and his cock kisses that sweet spot inside you.

After you feel that thick warmth spread inside you he pulls you down once more, just enjoying the feeling of you still pulsing around him.

[sofs16]

𝗦𝗢𝗙’𝗦 𝗙𝗜𝗖 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗦⋆｡°✩

all such talented writers 💌🫧

— 𝟏𝟔 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐑��

• karma is my boyfriend - @writtenfangirl

• (not so) happy birthday - @filmze

• three’s a crowd - @poetsblvd

• exposed - @livin4mybabes

• miss americana and the heartbreak prince - @imthebadguyyy

• back home - @leclercinstagram

• edits - @norizzandpia

• main thing - @lecsainz

• home sweet home - @lecsainz

• insta file - @libraryofloveletters

• ocean eyes couple - @boiohboii

• how normal people date - @lenoraah

• partially right time, right person - @lenoraah

• how you get the girl - @monzabee

• i got 99 problems and ferrari is all of them - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• im a young man after all - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• kumquats and oranges - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• piano prince - @sebscore

• heart eyes - @chrisevansonly

• hope it’s nice where you are - @norris-lando

• under the influence - @pucksandpower

• is this considered a hard launch? - @charlesluvr

• tom holland’s school of manifestation - @gasstationlady

• it’s called love - @racinggirl

• say don't go - @holllandtrash

• daydream - @pucksandpower

• fairytale - @pucksandpower

• uni to paddock

• kiss with a fist

• sink or swim

• resting mean face

• going once, going twice

• my brother’s father

• pick me up?

• birds of a feather

• ideal weekend

• exchanged glances

— 𝟏 𝐌𝐀𝐗 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍

• pen pals - @astonmartinii

• finish line - @norris55s

• sweat, baby, sweat - @vivwritesfics

• heartbreak girl - @auggieblogs

• born for red

• rb admin

• what the fuck is that

• need me

— 𝟒 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑��𝐈𝐒

• after the rain - @chrisevansonly

• it’s not your fault - @chrisevansonly

• i can’t help falling in love with you - @norizzandpia

• reckless driving - @norizzandpia

• all mine - @toms-gf

• tolerate it - @toms-gf

• drunk girls do cry - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• hoodies - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• little lando norris - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• on my mind - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• not such a mystery - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• teach you how to love - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• fan favorite - @uglyducklingofthe2000s

• how does insta work - @flyclaren

• summer boy - @leclercloml

• masterpiece - @httpiastri

• in the middle of nowhere

• overnight

• on stream

• not how we are

• so daddy

• are you jealous?

• from the day i met you

• your hand please

•hail to the chief

• little spoon

• big spoon

• drinks and jackets

• thirsty boy • silly goof gamer

•while it lasts

• i’m not jealous! • delayed train

• just getting by

•wagnifesting

• not a chance

• my distraction

• the alchemy

• london boy

• two wheel drive

• south of france

• do you miss me??

• lipstick kisses

others !!!

—14 FERNANDO ALONSO

• something you paid for

— 55 CARLOS SAINZ • has yet to pass

• to be loved

— 81 OSCAR PIASTRI

• be brave

•beached

• the princess and the piastri

•perfect storm

•two lonely friends

• pretty in pink

• expect the unexpected

— 00 TOTO WOLFF

• clickbait

[almayver]

hi alma!!!!! i see you often rb phumpeem fics. do you have any personal favorites that you would like to recommend?

HI Anon!!!! OH BOY. Do you know who you sent this ask to? OF COURSE, I have personal favorites, and I'm very, very happy to gush about them, thank you dear anon.

So first I did a mini smut rec a couple of weeks ago (A MONTH AGO?? Time flies, damn) and I stand by all of those so here. All of them are very, very beautiful, and fun and have a lovely grasp on the characters and their relationship (Also if you are not reading Cole's omegaverse fic I urge you to fix that right now. I breathe for that fic)

Also, this has to be obvious by now, but I'm very biased, and I think that @thunder-point @alan-apologist and @therethatstar are gifts of the universe to fill our world with great writing. So yeah.

Muse - Very sweet take of phumpeem after the kiss. Love the imagery and the flow of it. Just really nice.

Around the sun - Different first meeting AU featuring absolutely smitten Phum!

reach for me a bit (this loop is infinite) - HYBRID AU MY BELOVED. Cole rewrote my brain chemistry with this one folks. I keep thinking about them. Its very sweet and lovely, with Peem being very protective and caring!

Now and forever - This one is just a very beautiful introspective look from Phum about his relationship with Peem and the group, and its sweet and a little smutty and just very beautiful and soft.

Tiny moments everyday - I'm fully cheating here because this is a TanFang fic, but you don't understand the emotions this fic made me feel. I'm always here for soulmates AU, people we need more We Are soulmates AUs. And Phumpeem are cute in the background

pretty in blue - GLORIOUS SMUT, courtesy of Alan of course no one is surprised. But also, OH MAN, this one is very sneaky and it's actually POETRY. You are like yay smut and then a line comes that makes you clutch at your chest and process the emotions. Once again its Alan so really we shouldn't be surprised.

I hope it's not the kind of rain that only soaks you for a little while - This one is a soft little hurt/comfort that took my heart. Very soft and sweet and beautiful.

your back beneath the sun, wishing i could write my name on it - Star wrote this “Phum thinks they are FWB” that was very beautiful and also had me cackling

Counting stars - and then @danonenen was inspired by that one to write a “Phum thinks they are FWB” that actually had me very emotional and feeling a lot for my sweet insecure boy.

Wild geese - A very cute short different first meeting AU with some lovely ruminations about love

My dog really digs you - This one is an ongoing multichapter that I'm so invested in! A bit of magic and curses and loneliness. So fun!

hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better - Star makes you feel like you are in this house party watching two strangers fall in love in real time and you will have the time of your life

in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you - A fic about soulmates. In the most beautiful way possible. This fic has my heart and soul and if you want my thoughts on it I keep leaving my ramblings on the comments. So go read it, weep, leave your own comment and read mine.

i got an appetite (you too, just maybe) - The famous and beloved lap sitting fic. Really really cool exploration about feelings, and desire. Just fun!!!

Not without you - I see this as a tribute to Peem. And its a truly beautiful one. Featuring insecure Phum and the friendship group being lovely as always

Take my self-control - Short fun different first meeting au (Yes i like different first meetings im aware).

When I look at you - A bit of a canon divergent fic about Peem drawing Phum. Very fluffy and fun.

Every day's a memory - This one to me is a classic. Just a collection of drabbles, not all of them phumpeem but all of them very lovely and sweet.

There are SO MANY more, and as always go to the AO3 phumpeem tag and have a look around because oh gods so many good fics! These are just the ones that stuck with me a bit. Also I will say some of the best fics are the ones that are being written here through a weird form of exquisite cadaver through asks and tags (like the hanahaki fic Cole is threatening my sanity with (yes i made the og post but she escalated the situation)). So def check the tag here and try to catch some of those because oh gods they are glorious.

Thanks for giving me the chance to rant about phumpeem fics because i do love to do it!

[oikawa-tooru]

Hello.....if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks...

ooo this is such a great question anon! thanks for asking, bud, i've never got this before! Since this question was sent to my animanga blog, i'm going to just answer about couples in fandoms i rb on here!

Even though it seems like I go hard for non-canon couples (which believe me I do), there are so many canon couples that I actually love with my entire heart:

hak/yona (akatsuki no yona)

even though i still have to catch up to this manga, this couple has owned my heart since the moment they appeared on page. they are the definition of a true power couple who will go to the ends of the world to save one another. they throw themselves into danger just so the other can have the chance of safety. they've got one another's back through everything and anything. they will yell at one another but hold hands together side by side as they stand staring down their enemies. i just love how hak inspires yona to stand on her own and yona inspires hak to see the value in himself.

sakura/syaoran (cardcaptor sakura)

they're one of my top three childhood couples. they are just adorable and precious and they deserve only good things ever. they are just children who don't deserve to shoulder so much on their shoulders and yet they do it with minimal complaining. they are there for one another, especially through the hardest moments. he's her pillar and she's his heart. also they jumpstarted my pink x green shipping and i will always love them so much.

inuyasha/kagome (inuyasha)

they are also one of my top three childhood couples. they are everything. inuyasha sees the strength in kagome's compassion when she doesn't see it herself and kagome sees the softness in inuyasha's toughness that he doesn't let others see. they are one of the it couples. they fight, push one another to the edge, and bring one another back without another word. inuyasha's unwavering belief in kagome allows her to grow into a fucking warrior of a girl because his strength keeps her going and growing. kagome accepts all of inuyasha, which is huge for him because he's been accepted by neither world because he's never been enough for either world. but there comes kagome, not giving a shit about the worlds beliefs and going with what she believes in and that's him. it's beautiful.

lan wangji/wei wuxian (mo dao zu shi)

i'm going to cheat here because i haven't finished watching the anime but i have read the novel and watched the live-action show. i have been shipping them ever since i watched the show first because anyone who knows me knows that i love the red x blue ship aesthetic. i love how they went from strangers to friends to enemies (but not really) to lovers. it's a classic trope and i will always love it. the fact that lwj recognized wwx when he came back?? that's true love. lwj is there to support wwx when he doesn't want anyone to see him falling and wwx is there to break down lwj's world, to show that there's more to the world than just blindly following rules. the fact that they went from star-crossed lovers to being married is just the best thing ever. they are filled with all the angst AND they get their happy ending.

On to my non-canon couples (they are kept alive in my heart thanks to ao3):

dabihawks (boku no hero academia)

i will say that i have dropped bnha for now (unless two characters die, in which case i'll definitely pick it back up) but that being said, the fact that dabi grew up the child of a hero and turned to villainy while hawks grew up the child of a criminal and turned to heroism? this shit is so poetic. they are parallel lines moving in the opposite direction, ships in the night, opposites attract in such a hellish way. not only is their aesthetic red vs. blue but it's also angel vs. devil - the hero with the wings bathed in the colour of blood vs. the villain with the flames bathed in the colour of the sky. they've got an apollo/icarus vibe that i love so much. there's so much mutual destruction and they had so much potential to be even more insane than they already are.

soukoku (bungou stray dogs)

they are probably my otp of otp's right now, the ones that really kicked the whole red/blue shipping out of control for me. they are idiotic strangers to idiotic frenemies to idiotic enemies to idiotic partners forever. it's so poetic to me that dazai's ability is named no longer human and yet he's the one to bring back chuuya's humanity to him. i just really love that chuuya, who feels so brutally human so much of the time, hosts a god of calamity and can only be brought back to himself by dazai's touch. like point me to a better lvoe story than that? you can't because they are the epitome of catastrophic love. they don't judge one another's actions because they understand one another better than anyone else can. they are each other's weakness and each other's strength. they will destroy one another before anyone else can get the chance.

[sungbeam]

wanted to ask literally all of them but i had to stop myself somewhere so.

1, 3, 9, 12, 14, 21 for the ask game :p

my beloved bar, tysm for sending these in !!! :'))) 💖

end of the year ff asks!

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

hands down, night terrors has to be my favorite 🤧 i think it's this blog's pièce de résistance LOL and i really don't think i will be able to top it, but i hope to write more things like it in the near future!!

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

oh gosh,,, what a hard question TT but i really like a few of the lines from moon river:

— "Like this wouldn't lead to his heart getting broken again when all that was left of you in the morning was your perfume on his clothes and bandaid wrappers in the trash."

— "'I love you. You can break my heart when you leave in the morning, but let me have this at least.'"

and def many other scenes from other fics of course!!! on of the notable ones that come to mind is the scene from swing my way where yn's friends/coworkers are watching hers and eric's date from the golf cart LMAO

9. longest wip of the year

OKAY WAIT DOES NIGHT TERRORS COUNT???? if it doesn't 💔 then i think it's still bird hunt at 22k :0

12. favorite character to write about this year

but ofc it's night terrors changmin 😚😚😚 my muse forever and ever, i think i fall asleep thinking about him......... literally whenever i hear certain songs, my brain immediately flips to thinking abt him like turning on a light switch 💀 i have. Problems

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

i actually didn't expect to write flight risk! i wrote the initial drabble that inspired it randomly too, but i never even expected to expand the party people universe, especially this much haha flight risk was never something i expected to write, but i'm glad i did it :'))

21. most memorable comment/review

bro,, i always go back to the night terrors rbs and read ur reblog bar <///3 like im convinced we understand each other on such a deep creative level like ksnckdnf and it just makes me have a greater appreciation for my own fic?? like thank u??? for always supporting me?? and being so cool??? anyways 💖😚 kisses

[forhyune]

hello bae. i started crying (real) (not clickbait).

i remember exactly where i was and what i was doing and what time of day it was when i got this notif. i stopped everything i was doing and read through this like three separate times bc i was just in a state of pure, ecstatic disbelief that u took the time to write such a comprehensive, complimentary thought piece about my favorite fic i've ever written :') i do not deserve you and i never will. THANK YOU so much. though those words cannot even begin to encompass my feelings for u and this rb. let me respond to your comments line by line...

you took this character in ‘crying lightning’ (the song) and completely fleshed out her personality in your fic. the reader is not just a fill-in, or an idea, she really does personify the song. I think I could believe she inspired the song, and not vice versa.

seriously i think u and i were meant to be. and that this fic was written for you before i ever knew you existed. to hear ur perspective on how the song and the mc built off each other is so, so validating bc u know both of them so well; what an honor it is that the reader personified the song for u, to the degree that she might've inspired the song and not vice versa. one of the craziest and most impactful things anyone's said about my writing. thank you so much.

(if i can take a moment to rant about the song bc you've done a wonderful thing and given me the opportunity to do so. but i really do love the song so much and moreover i love the woman that he's singing about. because alex turner always has a way with words but he seemed so especially enraptured by this beautiful, unattainable mess of a human that these lyrics in particular wound their way straight to my soul. "Said, "You're mistaken if you're thinking that I haven't been called "cold" before" / As you bit into your strawberry lace" / "And how you like to aggravate the ice-cream man on rainy afternoons" / "you knew I was approaching your throne" / "With folded arms you occupied the bench like toothache" / "Stood and puffed your chest out like you never lost a war" and of course: "Uninviting / But not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are / Crying lightning" like aren't these absolutely INSANE? the stories that these words hold. just ignited something within me i suppose)

the characterization in this fic is phenomenal, not just for the reader character but for hyunjin as well...timeskipping can get confusing very easily and you kept it linear, so it was very easy to follow. and exciting to read, because we see the little ways their relationship progresses instead of the jarring difference between their introduction and the end of the fic. 

thank you for enjoying the characterization and the way the fic's timing was formatted <333 i had a lot of fun taking them around the world over the course of a year and YES exactly that, showing their relationship progress little by little because hyunjin's goal of "melting" her was never going to happen overnight and, conversely, mc was only going to let him in in due time. u get me!!!

I really enjoyed ‘the game’ we saw being played out between hyunjin and the reader as well...I really like how hyunjin is always looking at mc, and truly seeing her as well...and in the rare moments he’s not observing her she is studying him back. and I loved this dynamic of slowly falling for each other more and more with everything they learn about the other. it’s also funny how in the opening scene they’re so comfortable together, and you see them mostly understanding each other with little effort while the cab driver doesn’t understand them at all. two complex people making a complex relationship, but it makes perfect sense to them.

this whole paragraph lowkey had me tearing up because it's crazy to hear the crying lightning couple deconstructed and laid out in your words; you expressed them so, so beautifully, like "in the rare moments he's not observing her she is studying him back" / "two complex people making a complex relationship, but it makes sense to them" like a thousand times yes that's exactly what i was trying to go for and you have no idea how happy it makes me that this is how they came off to you.

also i loved the way you analyzed the presence of the cab driver as representative of them being difficult for other people to read because nobody will ever reach the level of understanding they have for each other; i didn't think about him that way, more wrote him in as an avenue for comedic relief, but i think you're absolutely right. i adore your insights so much. you are always showing me new sides to my own writing, not unlike crying lightning mc shows hyun new sides of himself with every look she puts him in :')

their dynamic was just perfect too. I loved their hot and cold; hyunjin being immediately smitten and mc having a cold reputation that she’s sort of resigned herself too...I love the opposites attract we see with them, because I think in some ways they’re very similar and that’s why they understand each other...she really doesn’t open up easily and tries to freeze people out when they warm up to her. but we know even though she tries to keep her distance, we can see hyunjin rubbing off on her when she brings him the towel.

i admit i am a big sucker for "hyun falls first" trope because that's so fucking HIM ... our romantic, imaginative, kindhearted man who only need catch one (1) glimpse of someone to theorize they were made for him. he's also said outright, way after i wrote crying lightning funnily enough, that his type is someone who seems cold at first but has a gentle interior, so i feel as though that speaks volumes to his capacity for patience and protection, that he'd be so prepared to return his love interest's coldness with unconditional warmth no matter how long it took for them to start accepting it or, in this mc's case, to start feeling as though they deserved it. that sort of push-and-pull was exactly the kind of dynamic i wanted to write into their characters, so once again i'm so glad that you perceived them exactly that way. see what i mean? this whole fic was written for you

and finally: the hotel room scene. my favorite part of this fic, where we see the total clash of their opposing traits. mc finally cracks and crumbles...hyunjin finally shelves his own passion to calm down for her. like he is still very much in love and has an emotional response, but for once he’s not having this dramatic display of emotions or throwing himself at her. he takes the more careful approach because he can see that she’s finally lost her composure and she needs a level head to bring her back and reassure her. and at the end of it all, all the games they have been playing with each other, he is still there to admire the strength of her vulnerability. they’ve been dancing around these walls and opportunities, but hyunjin shows that he really is serious about her. and in turn, he gets to truly see her for the first time as a result of all the quiet studying and (overt) pining he has been doing.

YOU. YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

i truly almost cried again. idk throughout this entire rb i've been asking myself if this is really about something i wrote but that sentiment was especially strong during this segment. u don't understand this was so. trippy. i didn't have any actual thematic thought processes while writing this scene—i tend not to think at all while i write—so for you to describe the scene like this and strip their conversation down to their most important tenets while also encapsulating those tenets so concisely and accurately is LIFE-CHANGING.

i really loved your notion that this convo was the conclusion of their games at long last; a last round, if you will, because now everyone's cards are on the table. they're all in now. i also really loved your juxtaposition of strength and vulnerability in the same sentence bc at the end of the day that's what this whole fucking fic is about. not hyunjin or mc or how they fall in love but the idea that vulnerability should be admired and cherished and considered as sacred as strength, if not considered a kind of strength, or even its prerequisite.

like i've said time and time again, i feel as though you see straight through this fic and its characters and everything that happens to them, and i will never have the words to express how meaningful it is to a silly college student who word-vomits into a google doc every now and then how incredible of an honor it is to have someone like you to read and see my creations. i love you so much

I love this pairing and as I’ve already said before, I am a ‘crying lightning’ enjoyer lol the love you get on this fic is very well deserved. it was a pleasure to read it, and I’m so happy about the extended content that goes with it. also ‘ace’ is def on my tbr. I love seeing the different ways you write hyunjin and I know it will be a treat to see your next portrayal...thank you for waiting on my feedback and if you ever want to ramble about this masterpiece, you know where to find me 🫶🏻

well. in terms of rambling about cl i fear you've had enough to last a lifetime 😭 dw i will be releasing you from the chains of my yapfest shortly. BUT i would be very curious to know your feelings thoughts on ace hyun because i have mentioned before that that couple's dynamic feels vaguely reminiscent of cl's (albeit much happier overall. mc is not quite as depressed and hyun is a little more of a fool). i hope you enjoy the fic as well if/when u get around to reading it.

thank you, again. i love you, again. i cannot say it enough.

𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠・h.h.

— you're uninviting, there's no doubt about that, your resolve like unpolished diamond and tongue like broken glass. but hyunjin finds you're not half as impossible as everyone assumes you are.

words・11.1k

pairing・idol!hyunjin x female stylist!reader (inspired by this)

genres・fluff, angst, eventual smut so MDNI, some hurt/comfort, some humor, mc is a bad bitch and hyunjin is a #simp, enemies? to lovers, sexual tension, workplace relationship, mutual pining, slow burn, nonlinear narrative, alternating perspectives

warnings・cunnilingus, overstimulation, creampie (practice safe sex!!), mild dacryphilia. again, MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS THAT INTERACT WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED.

warnings (cont'd.)・reader vividly remembers an anxiety attack. alcohol is consumed. lots of compartmentalization and imperfect communication. latter half is just kind of sad in general tbh but what do u expect from a fic based off alex turner lyrics

playlist・farewell, neverland by txt・like crazy by jimin・black friday by tom odell・collide by justine skye・crying lightning by arctic monkeys

a/n・call me victor frankenstein bc i've given birth to a MONSTER (except i actually love and care for mine ofc). this was easily the greatest challenge of my fanfiction-writing career and it feels like my magnum opus; i hope it's worth the wait! also a huge shoutout to sahar for being my voice of reason and my biggest supporter :’) i don’t deserve u i love u

Present day. Cannes, France. 5:54 P.M.

You’ve long made peace with the fact that Hwang Hyunjin is incapable of shutting up for more than five minutes.

As it is, the man has a mouth that runs like a cross-country marathon; then throw in his uncanny aptitude for annoying you, and what do you get? A nonstop slew of terrible jokes and teasing quips, tailored according to his thorough mental manual of what gets under your skin hardest and fastest.

This is the reality you live in, presumably because you were evil in your past life, and you’ve steeled yourself to see it through.

But twenty minutes have passed since you and Hyunjin ducked into the back of a cab and gave the driver the show’s address—and, as stunning as the red rooftops and lazuline coastline of Cannes are, you find you’re more interested in Hyunjin’s peculiar silence.

You move your gaze to his face. He’s looking outside, his chin resting upon the palm of his hand, the afternoon sunlight dusting over his chiseled features like polish on pottery; his complexion an exuberant gold against the cream-colored linen that makes up his clothing.

Maybe it’s because you opted for a simpler makeup look today, leaving the most telling contours of his face warm and bare, or maybe it’s because you’ve spent the last year committing his every mannerism and expression to memory. Nevertheless, you see through his pursed lips and tight brow right away.

“Nervous?” 

Hyunjin’s head swivels towards you with a small snap, like he’s forgotten you’re here. His lips fall open, their glossy peach color glinting with the small shift.

“No,” he replies reflexively, but then his facade flickers. “Fuck, maybe a little. It’s just hard to believe, you know?”

You do know. It was a huge honor for both of you when Hyunjin was named the newest global ambassador of Versace. For you to be attending the brand’s pop-up show in one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, among some of the world’s most prolific creatives, is truly incomprehensible. Even you’ve been feeling antsy since you landed; you can only imagine Hyunjin’s anxiety.

You have never been good at consolation. You think your mouth is too coarse, your propensity for honesty too strong. But you’ve always known just what to say when it comes to him.

“Just remember who you are.”

Hyunjin takes a few seconds to process your words, but his understanding washes over his whole body; straightens his back; hardens his gaze. You don’t see this change in posture, though. You’re too busy looking anywhere else, all of a sudden feeling quite embarrassed.

Nor do you see the private smile that disperses across Hyunjin’s lips; his eyes softening so, so marginally when they peer at your profile; his hand twitching where it rests on his knee, as if contemplating reaching for you with a mind of its own.

Thirty seconds. That is the amount of time you have left to bask in this otherworldly tranquility. And then he speaks.

“I want you to meet my parents.”

Your arm reacts before your mind can. Without having to turn your head an inch, you smack him squarely in the bicep, sending him crumpling against his door with a bark of a laugh; “please,” he adds, and you’re biting back a smile as you hit him again, with less conviction this time.

The cab driver nearly misses an exit, too busy wondering about the peculiar pair in his backseat and the nature of your relationship. He can’t tell if you hate each other or if you’re married.

One year ago. Seoul, South Korea. 8:42 A.M.

“I still can’t believe you’re abandoning me.”

“For my newborn daughter.”

“Yeah, okay. I still can’t believe you’re abandoning me for your newborn daughter. What does that brat have that I don’t?”

“My genes, to begin with.”

“That’s unfair. She’s using—”

An important-looking pair of women step out of the nearest elevators, the clacking of their heels ricocheting sharply off the lobby walls. Hyunjin straightens his back so quickly he thinks he pulls a muscle. He and Seojun incline their heads in perfect sync, their “good morning”s prim and professional.

“She’s using cheats,” Hyunjin hisses the second the women are out of earshot again, and this wrests a laugh from the older man at last.

Around one month prior, Seojun confided in Hyunjin that he and his partner were expecting their first child soon, and that he would be putting his career on indefinite hiatus to welcome her into the world.

Hyunjin had never felt so conflicted in his life. On one hand, he’d grown closer to his stylist over the last two years than he’d thought possible, and he knew it was stupid to be anything but delighted for him and his expanding family. On the other hand, it was precisely because they’d become so close that he wanted to grab the man by the ankles and shake the decision clean out of his body. He couldn’t imagine a dressing room or tour bus without him.

Today is a Saturday, but it’s also Seojun’s last day with the company. Hyunjin dragged himself to the JYP building at half past eight with much less reluctance than he let on. He wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

“Fourth floor,” Seojun instructs after the pair enter the elevator, and Hyunjin presses a knuckle to the according number. “Thanks.”

The doors slide shut; the floor numbers tick upwards.

“What was her name again?” Hyunjin asks.

“Y/N,” Seojun returns. “Y/L/N.”

“Is she here already?”

“No, she’ll be here at nine.”

There’s a small pause. 

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“I feel like I’m being married off to another family for political reasons.”

“God, I can’t wait to be free of your theatrics.”

At this, the two men make eye contact; exchange smiles. The elevator announces their arrival to the fourth floor, and they step through the doors.

“You’ll be in good hands,” Seojun reassures. “She’s the best of the best. I hear she’s basically running the industry these days. I’m surprised she agreed to take you on.”

“I’m surprised an old fry like you knows someone like her,” Hyunjin replies, and the look Seojun gives him is so withering that he thinks he pulls a muscle again with his apologetic bow.

“You’re not wrong, though,” Seojun concedes. “We happened to work on the same project back when she was still a small name, and we’ve kept in touch ever since. She’s a great kid. Ambitious, hardworking, strong as hell—”

They arrive outside their destination, and Hyunjin holds open the door to the conference room. Only to find that Seojun has stopped in his footsteps, temporarily stunned by a new realization.

She reminds me of him.

“He’s forgotten how to walk,” the him in question whispers like he’s narrating a nature documentary, and the moment is over. “Is this what fatherhood does to a man?”

Seojun kicks Hyunjin into the room by the seat of his pants.

The minutes pass slowly. Seojun moves his eyes between the door and his phone every few seconds, visibly antsy about the imminent meeting. In the meantime, Hyunjin makes the groundbreaking discovery that these office chairs are absurdly and almost suspiciously comfortable. All it takes is a chin upon his palm and a few seconds of shut-eye, and he’s suddenly slumped over the table, snoring softly into the crook of his elbow.

At 8:57, Seojun’s phone lights up with a new notification. At 8:58, he notices that Hyunjin is asleep, and closes his hand around the crumpled receipt in his pocket. At 8:59, he scrunches said receipt into a ball and launches it in Hyunjin’s direction. It hits him squarely on the head, and the boy is nearly knocked to the floor like a bowling pin.

“For that,” Hyunjin sputters, “I’m the godfather.”

“Absolutely the hell not.”

Then, it is 9:00.

When the door of the conference room opens, Hyunjin is still trying to gather his wits, wondering if the bastard is leaving the makeup industry to secretly pursue a career in professional basketball. He just barely notices the unfamiliar figure who steps into his line of vision.

“There she is,” Seojun greets warmly, rising to his feet right away. “God, how long has it been? Two, three years now?”

You’re not doing anything remarkable when Hyunjin sees you for the first time, simply walking across the room and bowing graciously in Seojun’s direction, but he is immediately under the vague impression that you’re cutting through space as you move, scorching the particles of air that dare obstruct your path. 

With his head cocked slightly to the left, like a fascinated puppy, Hyunjin watches the stunning smile that forms on your lips when you take Seojun’s hand; your finger as it tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear with the elegance of rippling silk. His mind feels impossibly slow, like you’ve tapped open his skull and robbed him of his ability to think.

Then, you toss Hyunjin a look over your shoulder, and he’s reminded of lightning forking towards the earth. Terrifying, volatile, beautiful.

“Something like that,” you say, turning back to Seojun, and time starts to move again. “It’s great to see you again, Mr. Lee. Congratulations on the baby.”

“Please, Seojun is fine,” he answers hastily. “And thank you. Thank you for all of this, actually. I can’t tell you how excited we are to have you.” 

“You’re too kind—I’m excited too.”

Upon uttering the word “we,” Seojun delivers Hyunjin a fleeting side-eye; he takes the hint and pushes himself to his feet, feeling uncharacteristically clumsy as he moves towards you.

The second time he meets your gaze, it feels wrong, almost, for him to hold it for as long as he does. Like he’s approaching your throne with his chin held high and eyes fixed forward instead of his head sweeping the ground.

Except he swears he senses a strange warmth within the rings of your irises, and he spends every second of eye contact following, chasing it, almost craning his neck with how badly he wants to get a closer look. Until he’s as close to you as is socially acceptable for a first meeting and comes to a halt.

He ends up losing its trail, but he won’t forget that it’s there. 

“My client, I’m guessing?” You say, extending your hand. “Y/N. It’s a pleasure.”

Your fingers are freezing cold where they meet his, and Hyunjin already knows that melting the permafrost that coats your flesh and guards your soul will be the tallest task of his life.

But he finds his next words accompanied by an involuntary smirk; he’s nothing, if not tenacious.

“Hyunjin,” he returns. “Pleasure’s all mine.”

Nine months ago. Paris, France. 6:16 P.M.

Hyunjin isn’t sure why—maybe you forget that he can still steal glances at your reflection over your shoulder or through the gaps of your fingers—but he’s learned over the last four weeks that you’re different, gentler, when you’re doing his makeup.

Your cold hands request instead of demand that he angle his head a certain way or suck in his cheeks. Your syllables are rounder somehow, your voice never traveling above a murmur. Even your eyes mellow out when you move in really close, your pupils dilating as you detail the final touches to the fresco you’ve painted upon him.

Your expression doesn’t give you away (it never does), but his hunch is that there’s a sprinkle of doting somewhere among the intense focus. That would explain why he feels like a flower in the moments when your fingertips and gaze move so carefully over his skin, like you’re touching his petals, trying not to tear them.

Too bad you never let him daydream for long.

“Close.”

“Huh?”

“Your eyes. Close them.”

His lashes have hardly brushed his lower lids when you begin to empty what feels like an entire bottle of setting spray on him. At the moist surprise, Hyunjin’s features scrunch up around his nose and he lets out a distraught hack like an old man.

A few seconds later, the barrage stops, and he cracks open a wary eye to scope out his surroundings. You wait until he does this to give his face one last spurt.

“Witch,” Hyunjin mutters, clawing back up the vanity chair.

“Thank you,” you reply, completely earnestly.

And whatever Hyunjin was going to say next suspends instantly on his tongue when you bring the pad of your thumb to the very edge of his lower lip and drag it across the soft flesh. He wonders if you know how hard he tries not to look at your mouth whenever you tend to his. He wonders if there’s anything you don’t know.

“You smudged your lipstick already.” There’s a small streak of coral pink on your hand when it falls back to your side. “See? That’s why we need the setting spray.”

“Uh huh.” And Hyunjin spots a ghost of a smile flit across your face, gone nearly as soon as it appears. The only evidence of it ever existing is the quickened heartbeat it leaves behind within him.

“You’re done, by the way,” you say, stepping aside. “Take a look.”

He slips out of his seat and moves closer to the vanity, peering at his reflection as curiously as if he’s never seen it before. But that’s how he’s felt since he started working with you.

Seojun was right: you are the best that the makeup industry has to offer. Hyunjin has come to understand this for multiple reasons. Your phone screen is incessantly illuminated by new notifications and incoming calls. The other stylists heed your advice like it’s the law. Brushes and pencils move like water when it’s you maneuvering them. And then some.

He would call what you have “talent,” but he knows it’s more than that. You show him a new version of himself every time you turn a mirror in his direction, like there are facets of him that are visible to you and you only. As much as he delights in the notion that you have such intimate knowledge of him, it should be impossible, considering you’ve only known him for two months. So no, it’s not just talent that you possess. It’s some combination of talent, hawkish perception, and raw artistry that is utterly inhuman—and sexy as fuck.

Speaking of sexy. Hyunjin’s look is relatively rudimentary tonight, the makeup light, the outfit a simple black tank top beneath a jacket and pants made of bright red velvet. But it’s the details that tie the whole thing together: the wide, loose sleeves causing the jacket to slip continually off his shoulders; the inner layer tight in all the right places. His face doesn’t look half bad either, with the sultry carmine powder that fringes his eyes and the intentionally mussed state of his hair. He pushes a hand through the dark locks, regarding himself with thorough appreciation.

You appear in his periphery as you start cleaning up your work station. “You can just take the jacket off when your sweat glands start malfunctioning, by the way. I thought you’d appreciate that detail.”

At this, his smize cracks into a laugh, the sound loud and uninhibited and uniquely yours to hear. “You suck.”

He looks away from his reflection just in time to glimpse another of your phantom smiles, and he thinks it’s so painfully on brand that the two times it’s appeared tonight have both been from you making yourself laugh. You might be the most insufferable person he’s ever met. He might be obsessed with you anyways.

“Well?” You implore. “What do you think?”

“No notes.” 

It’s the answer you’re expecting. You survey him from head to toe one last time, decide that you, too, are satisfied, and slip your makeup into your bag; hike its strap over your shoulder.

“I’ll see you after the show, then.”

You have an important conference call to attend before tonight’s concert, hence why Hyunjin had to come in early for hair and makeup. This is also the reason why the two of you have been the only people in the dressing room for the better part of an hour. 

It’s rare that he ever gets you alone, and he doesn’t want it to end. Not just yet.

“I lied, actually,” he calls. “I do have notes.”

You already have one foot out the door when you hear this, and you turn around so slowly and in such disbelief that he has to fight to constrain his laugh—the concept of imperfection is truly unthinkable to you. Insufferable, like he said.

“Do tell,” you say, dropping your bag back onto the floor.

“You have any jewelry for me?”

You chew on this for a moment. You did have a selection of necklaces prepared for tonight, but they were heavy and numerous, not exactly the best-suited for the group’s dynamic sets. You still like them, granted, and you know Hyunjin would as well.

You articulate all of this to him, and he asks if he can take a look at them anyways. “Come here, then,” you say, the words so tantalizing when they fall from your lips that nearly trips over himself trying to obey.

You take out a flat rectangular box from your bag and set it down in front of the lightbulb-studded mirrors. Hyunjin observes quietly as you show him its contents: three thick, gold chains with varying lengths and boasting different pendants, plus a beaded bracelet and an assembly of rings of the same material. His devious plan aside, he does love the selection.

“You’re sure you won’t be uncomfortable?”

He nods, and you pick up the longest of the three chains; turn to him expectedly. He takes this as his cue to move closer to you, except he overshoots a little, and he feels the tips of his shoes accidentally bump into the ends of yours; discerns the warmth emanating from your body against his own. He expects a withering glare, a kick in the shin, maybe, but you don’t seem bothered by the proximity at all, unblinking as you bring your hands around the either side of his neck and fasten the first necklace with a soft tap. Your fingers then brush over his collarbones to adjust the pendant, and he thinks your hands would have to be numb not to perceive the frantic heartbeat threatening to burst straight out of his skin.

Entire minutes pass before Hyunjin musters the courage to actually look at you. By then, you’re already working on the third and final necklace. It’s not a surprise that your face is mere inches away from his; he’s been watching your reflections out of the corner of his eye; he knows you’re closer to each other than you’ve ever been. But there are parts of you that the mirror doesn’t show—the soft curve of your lashes, the concentrated narrow of your eyes, the shapely protrusion of your pursed lips—and these surprise him so thoroughly that he slips and slides out of his right mind.

You are the type of beautiful that’s been around longer than humans have, the same as that of the true blue color of forget-me-nots. And Hyunjin feels enveloped, intoxicated by you from this minuscule distance. The idea forms numbly in his head that maybe, just maybe, he was put on this earth to admire you.

In this inebriated state, he makes a venturesome decision.

When you finish centering the last pendant upon the his chest, you are about to take a step back and review the updated look, but you’re debilitated by the feeling of fingers grazing over your hip—lightly, so lightly that you mistake them for a gust of wind at first, but the contact is enough to push the small of your back against the edge of the counter. Then, both of Hyunjin’s hands reach behind you, pressing flat against the marble surface, and, just like that, he has you right where he wants you, ensnared between cold stone and hot flesh.

And so begins an equilibrium so fragile that it’ll shatter if one of you so much as blinks the wrong way, your rattled breath fluttering against his lips, his eyes dark and hooded and out of focus as they survey the fine lines of your expression. It still doesn’t give you away (it never does), but he finds that in this moment he just doesn’t care.

“Let me take you out,” he murmurs. “One date.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You reply under your breath.

“You know what I’m talking about, beautiful.”

Upon uttering that last word, he angles his head almost imperceptibly, the movement challenging, daring you to say something about it. But you don’t. You merely hiss out a whetted “you’re fucking crazy,” and that’s his opening to drag this on a little longer; push your limits a little more.

“About you? Damn straight.”

At this, finally, fucking finally, there is a semblance of something in your face that isn’t just your usual mildly-irritated nonchalance. Instead, he detects surprise in the whites of your eyes as you widen them; as you part your lips with a response that only comes much later.

And he’s surprised by your surprise. Surely, with your skills of observation, you would’ve noticed long ago how his world shrinks down to only you and your gorgeous voice and your confident glare and your shitty sense of humor whenever he’s been granted the privilege of your presence.

This might be the first time he’s admitted it out loud, but he hasn’t tried—hasn’t been able—to hide how he feels about you, not now, not ever. It’s been that way since the moment the sole of your shoe met the carpet of that conference room on the fourth floor of the JYP building.

 “Hwang—” You begin.

“Hyung!”

At the sound of a third, new voice, your arms tense like you’re about to shove Hyunjin off of you, but he only leans in further, so that his lips almost graze your jaw and your hands have nowhere to go except the taut surface of his chest. The surprise is gone; now you’re just pissed. He can feel the heat of your furious eyes and the tremor in your hands as you form fists around the fabric of his top. But he takes his sweet time in scooping up the bracelet and rings, and only afterwards does he pull away from you and straighten to his full height.

“Hey, Innie!” Hyunjin chirps, and Jeongin materializes in the doorway, looking thoroughly perturbed by the older boy’s sunny tone. “What’s up?” 

In the meantime, you turn around to snap the lid of your jewelry box shut, and it takes a singular glance in the mirror for a truly horrible realization to settle upon your shoulders. You don’t think anybody would be able to tell even if you announced it outright, but you know yourself and the little nuances of your face all too well.

You’re flustered.

You feel like a horror movie heroine breaking the fourth wall. 

“Nothing, weirdo. I was just announcing my arrival,” Jeongin says. Thank fuck you did, Hyunjin thinks to himself, completely unaware of the epiphany you’re having behind him. “Chan-hyung mentioned you were here already? Why?”

“She’s in high demand.” Hyunjin points out the she in question by jutting his chin in your direction. “The usual.”

“Ah.”

Jeongin inclines his head towards you in polite greeting. You return his hello, but your expression starts to feel tight when his eyes dart between the strange smile on Hyunjin’s face and your awkward stance (still glued to the edge of the counter) as he drops his duffel by the couch. The boy isn’t stupid, unlike his older counterpart.

“I saw a vending machine on my way here,” Jeongin says, turning to leave the room again. “You want anything, hyung? Noona?”

“I’m okay, thank you,” you say.

“I’ll have whatever you have,” Hyunjin says.

Jeongin flashes a thumbs-up and dips out of the room, perhaps a little more hastily than he intends to come across. And then there are two. Again.

You wait until you can’t hear his footsteps anymore, and then you turn to glower at Hyunjin so intensely that he thinks you’re about to place a curse on his whole bloodline.

Then, your phone starts vibrating, and he knows he’ll live to see another day.

“You still owe me an answer,” Hyunjin calls as you turn around and leave the room.

“Don’t hold your breath,” you reply.

One day, I’ll break her, is the predominant thought that resides in Hyunjin’s head as he slips on the remaining jewelry; watches your figure disappear around a corner. One day, I’ll break his face, is the predominant thought that resides in yours as you stalk away. That’s the two of you, in a nutshell.

Six months ago. Osaka, Japan. 3:03 P.M.

When you walk into the dressing room, you find Haeun hunched over an overflowing photo album with her hands forming fists in her hair, muttering to nobody in particular, “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”

There’s an amused look in your eye as you set your bag down by Hyunjin’s empty vanity chair. She hasn’t noticed your presence yet; approximately three hallways down, the members are rehearsing for tonight’s performance on the main stage of the Kyocera Dome, and the music is so loud that you think you actually saw the walls vibrating while you were in the hallway moments ago.

You rise to your tiptoes and encroach upon her, waiting until she’s within reach to tickle the back of her neck. She nearly flies out of her seat with a shriek that can be heard over the heavy bass.

“Never gets old.” You hand her the photo album that went soaring also, and Haeun snatches it back with an affronted flourish.

“I can’t remember the last time you said hi to me normally, unnie.”

“Me neither, now that you mention it.”

Haeun and Han are your favorite stylist-idol duo in the world because they’re so eerily similar—and it’s adorable. They both illuminate every room they walk into; they both have grins too big for their faces, laughs too loud for their lungs. You always regret leaving your sunglasses at home when you catch sight of the effulgent pair.

But today you cannot detect the usual radiance in Haeun’s voice, nor so much as a hint of her easy grin. Then again, that’s another quality that she and her client share; they’re both well acquainted with the burdens that come with unwavering passion.

Every stylist has their own modus operandi. Haeun’s is a scrapbook of images that she cuts out and saves from catalogs, advertisements, newspapers, et cetera. You’ve seen it many times before, but never in such a state: messy handwriting stuffing the margins to their very brims, numbers and symbols like clusters of rainclouds over a sea of different outfits, arrows and circles and squares highlighting pant cuffs and cascade collars and dangling earrings. Telltale signs that Haeun hasn’t a clue as to what Han will be wearing tonight.

You gnaw on your lower lip, deliberating your next move. You end up placing a firm hand against the album’s cover and pushing it closed.

“Come with me,” you say. “We’re gonna try a new approach.”

Haeun opens her mouth to protest, but unfortunately you have an extensive track record of being right.

“What do you have in mind?” She sighs instead.

“You’ll see.”

With that, you stand up, tuck a small towel under your arm, and angle your head in the direction of the music.

The two of you make your way through the labyrinth of hallways that comprise the venue’s backstage. Eventually, the color of the floor changes from speckled white to solid black, and you step onto the part of the stage that is concealed from the audience by drawn curtains and heavy equipment. You say a quick hello to the group’s manager as you dip past him, and eventually reach the edge of the curtains, where you and Haeun have a good view of the eight members as they run through their setlist for tonight’s concert.

Haeun settles into the spot beside you, still confused as she follows your gaze. 

“Let me ask you this,” you say, just audible over the din. “Can you style a performer if you don’t know how he performs?”

And understanding seeps over her features like poured tea.

“I want you to watch him,” you continue. “Tell me how he performs.”

Han’s part begins, as if on cue. His voice rings out through the empty stadium as he ducks to the front of the formation, a microphone held loosely to his lips, his face taut with focus. Haeun stares at him for some time, silently trying to fathom her observations, but she sees you shaking your head in the corner of her eye.

“Don’t think, Haeun. Just speak.”

She blows out a deep breath before obliging. “It’s hard to picture Han doing anything but laughing or making other people laugh, he’s so goofy and lighthearted most of the time. But he’s like a different person on stage. He’s so intense, it’s almost intimidating. Not intimidating in a douchey way, though—you just get the impression that he’s very confident in himself and his music.

You don’t say another word, but don’t need to. She’s hit her stride.

“His voice and enunciation are so clear. It’s crazy how he sounds exactly like the studio recording. Plus, his delivery feels genuine; he’s not just reciting lyrics, but speaking straight from his heart.

“And this is gonna sound bad, but I didn’t know Han could dance. Like, yeah, I knew that he could dance, but not like this. His movements are so sharp that I feel like my attention is being—”

Right there.

She cuts herself off, reaching the same conclusion.

“It’s his turn to talk, and he wants you to cling to his every word," Haeun articulates slowly. "He’s demanding your attention. He needs you to listen. That’s how he performs.”

A satisfied smile bolts across your face like lightning. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Haeun pictures her scrapbook again, and there are now only a few articles of clothing and accessories that fit the framework you’ve helped her forge. She’s almost dizzy with disbelief, tearing her eyes from Han to look at you instead.

“You’re brilliant, you know that?”

“I do, but I appreciate the reminder.”

She can’t help but giggle. It’s a you answer if she’s ever heard one. “Do you do that with all of your clients?”

Haeun asks the question arbitrarily, without thinking. But you respond in a way that she doesn’t think she’s ever witnessed before, and she’s momentarily baffled by the sight: you hesitate.

As the song’s final chorus approaches, Hyunjin is the one folding himself into the center of the eight-person throng. You can only see his back from this angle, but even then it’s palpable how expertly and effortlessly he molds his body to the modulations of the music; how much fervor and feeling he expresses with every jerk of his spine and flex of his hands.

Within a few short seconds, innumerable descriptors and sensations skim the surface of your mind—but one word knocks the rest clean out of the water, the way it always does when you watch Hwang Hyunjin perform.

Artistry.

“No,” you reply. “Not all of them.”

And where better to find inspiration than inspiration himself?

Haeun furrows a brow, understandably puzzled by this response, but you don’t elaborate. Partially because you feel like being coy, but mostly because you know that any explanation you offer will sound like a confession.

The song ends, leaving your ears ringing with the abrupt absence of sound. The members hold their poses with heaving shoulders, staring out into the empty stands until the stage manager’s voice comes through the monitors.

“And that’s a wrap! We’re all set for tonight. Good work, everyone.”

There is a ripple of movement around the stage as the boys relax. Jeongin jogs over to Minho, hoping to review a particularly challenging dance break; the manager asks Chan if he has a second to discuss travel logistics; Seungmin plops onto the edge of the stage and downs the rest of his water; Hyunjin beelines toward you the second he sees you, because of course he does.

You get a good look at him as he skips closer. Stray blonde locks plastered against his damp skin, tank top dyed several shades darker by the perspiration rolling down his neck, the muscles of his arms actually rippling as he swings them around stupidly, a shit-eating smile plastered across his stunning face.

You’re annoyed before he says a word.

“I didn’t know they were letting fans backstage now,” he hums happily. “Want an autograph, gorgeous?”

“Put a sock in it.” You whisk the towel you’ve been holding in his direction. “Wet freak.”

But he catches and tosses it over his shoulder straightaway, and your heart sinks to your fucking ankle. You’ve seen this movie before. You know how it ends.

“No.” You take a shaky step back. “No, nope, don’t even think about—”

The next thing you know, Hyunjin is lunging towards you and winding his arms around your waist, nearly sweeping you clean off your feet as he pulls you into his sweaty embrace. To your complete dismay, your face presses flat against the clammy plane of his chest. “Call me a wet freak again, go on,” he manages to say through his laughter. 

In response, one of your hands wriggles free of its slippery prison and snatches the cuff of Hyunjin’s ear with impressive accuracy. He yelps and loosens his hold on you, but doesn’t relent completely, not even when he catches sight of the murderous expression on your face and cackles so forcefully his whole head is thrown back.

You tighten your grip. “Wet,” you seethe, “freak.”

“Ow—okay, don’t make it hot, what’s wrong with you?”

“Wha—what’s wrong with YOU?!”

As the two of you dissolve into your fatuous arguing, Haeun is no longer sure that she’s still standing here. She’s not even sure if she’s in her right mind anymore. She thinks she might be hallucinating the way everything about Hyunjin softens next to you, or the way your biting tone only seems to nibble when it’s him on the receiving end.

“Psst. We’ve been placing bets on them. You want in?”

Han suddenly materializes next to Haeun, and she would have been jumpscared into a different dimension if she wasn’t so fixated upon the bizarre occurrence before her.

But what if she’s not hallucinating?

No, not all of them, you’d said, like you were disclosing a forbidden secret.

“Yes,” she says, and Han beams. “Absolutely.”

Three months ago. Seoul, South Korea. 2:26 A.M.

On a tranquil Saturday night, you’re sitting at your desk, your knees tucked to your chest, the newest episode of your drama playing quietly on your laptop, a half-empty glass of rosé and open sketchbook laid before you. This is your happy place—a safe haven that the trials and tribulations of the real world can’t reach. But you think you’ve really gone and lost your mind when you find yourself thinking about your job.

Well, not your job, exactly. More like the man who makes your job feel fucking Sisyphean.

You know your way around fabric and foundation better than anyone, but you have never struggled with anything as much as you have trying to navigate Hyunjin. You show up to work every day ready to just put some makeup on the man; instead, you wind up stumbling around the potholes of his dimples and the hills of the veins that run over his forearms and hands like a hopeless drunkard. Scouring the creases of his smile and the oscillations of his voice like they’re topographical maps. Mentally replaying your interactions with him time and time again like you’re monitoring security footage, trying to detect illicit activity in every casual touch he leaves on your shoulder or waist; every babe or gorgeous he throws your way, seemingly without a second thought.

You’ve been trying to understand him and his intentions for seven months now, and your efforts have yielded no fruit whatsoever, save for a few theories that you feel insane for even humoring.

You down the rest of the blush-colored liquid, and as you set down your empty glass you notice your fingers itch with a familiar urge. The pen that you’ve been twirling over your knuckles stills, then swivels; its tip hovers over the last free corner of the sheet of cartridge paper below you. And then it presses upon the surface and starts to move, as naturally as if on its own.

When you were little, you came across a children’s book that you no longer remember the name of, about a little girl with a magical pen that brought her every drawing to life. You decided then that you would one day be that girl.

At some point, the subjects of your incessant sketching became almost exclusively runway models and makeup advertisements. You cemented that you wanted to work in fashion as early as your high school graduation, and by then you already possessed the conviction and charisma of the industry’s most experienced members. Your portfolio was stellar; your personality prophesied of wild success. So your career took off, propelled by the neverending positions and projects that various companies continually laid before your feet.

You stand and pad to your kitchen to refill your glass, only to bring the entire bottle of wine back to your room instead. With one hand, you flick the cap off and lift the whole thing to your lips; with the other, you seize your pen again, not wanting to lose momentum.

For the year or so after you joined the industry, you basked in your idyllic prosperity. Even the doodles you scrawled on random napkins during banal business lunches would appear on some of the world’s most renowned faces the next week. You had indubitably become the little girl from your story; made a career out of giving your imagination tangible form. And what a fruitful career it was going to be.

If only you knew how it would strengthen you in ways you never wanted.

The first time someone called you cold, it took you a while to realize that they were talking about you. The phrase was said so casually and lightheartedly that it sounded at first like a piece of unimportant small talk. But the whisper of cold bitch was then followed by a bout of stifled laughter and what was undoubtedly your name. Your heart stopped along with your footsteps, and you looked towards the source: two interns whose names you had yet to learn, while yours was already in their mouths.

You felt nothing until you were three stops away from your apartment, and then the bottom of the subway gave out beneath you and suddenly you were feeling everything. Only confusion, hurt, and rage at first, but then the other emotions that you’d been smothering tirelessly for who-knows-how-long tore free of their cerebral shackles too, and together they formed an amalgamation of anxiety that closed up your throat within seconds. 

As your pen studs details into a shapely jawline, you remember how you’d shoved your way off the subway and made a mad dash into the night air. You remember how you collapsed against a utility pole in an unfamiliar neighborhood, how your knuckles paled around the ashen wood, how your tears tumbled over your lips and salted your tongue. You remember wanting to go home so badly that you thought your ribcage would cave in on itself with the weight of it. You remember begging for air, for you.

By the time the oxygen had returned to your lungs, the streets were empty save for you, crouched on the curb, your face buried in your arms, spent, shattered, and alone. You were only nineteen at the time.

You are now twenty-two, and the word “cold” has become a regular guest in the lodgings of your heart. You never invite it over, but you’re no longer surprised to find it at your door. It’s a thief, swiping pieces of you when it thinks you’re not looking—a fragment above the fireplace, a scrap from the cracks between the couch—and you know whenever you’re being robbed, know that you lose parts of yourself upon its every visit. But better that than acknowledging what you lose.

You allow it to walk away with full pockets every time.

Hyunjin does not.

“Three words to describe yourself. Go,” he said a few days ago, the two of you heading back to the tour bus after a filming session. 

You were so used to these irrational inquiries of his that you didn’t bother trying to dodge this one. “You first.”

“Smart, sexy, suave,” he said immediately, but burst into a sheepish laugh at the sight of your weary glare. “Fine, fine, let me think. Ambitious, for one. Introspective, definitely—maybe overly so. And artistic. I’d like to think so, at least. Satisfied?”

The most creative person you knew doubting his own ingenuity was absurd to you, but you nodded begrudgingly. It was a good answer, for the most part.

“Now you.”

Honestly, the thief had surfaced the moment you heard the question, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to inform Hyunjin of its existence. Not because you didn’t trust him—you did, more than you had anyone in years—but because you didn’t know what you’d do with yourself if he agreed. You weren’t sure your heart would be able to take it.

When you met the boy’s gaze, though, the carob brown of his eyes was so curious and so comforting that you suspected that was never a possibility.

“Cold,” you mumbled. “I’ve been called cold before.”

There was a pregnant pause. You found yourself holding your breath. And then—

“That’s a joke, right?”

Hyunjin began to count off his fingers.

“Mean. So mean. Impossibly, infuriatingly confident. Talented, stubborn, strong. Funny, sometimes, I guess, though I’d rather you hit me with a metal pipe than admit that ever again.”

At this, you caved; a laugh erupted from your lips, leaving a genuine smile in its wake.

“Determined. Eloquent. Bossy. Some kind of evil, twisted genius. Contemplative, caring, compassionate. Fearless,” he went on. “You get my point. You’re a lot of things, Y/N, but cold isn’t one—”

He was about to say something mind-numbingly stupid. You could sense it in the air.

“—and not just because you’re hot.”

You smacked his bicep, the smile on your face now an uninhibited, helpless grin. And as he vanished into a fit of high-pitched laughter, you thought you sensed him crack open your door and slip your missing artifacts back to their rightful places.

Hyunjin began to climb into the bus, and you caught the cuff of his sleeve, your feet still planted on the pavement.

“Thank you,” you said.

The tremors of his fond chuckle traveled to your very core.

“Idiot,” he sighed softly.

Idiot, you write, and the drawings are complete. 

When you stand up, the bottle is mostly gone—and so are you. You splash some water on your face in lieu of your skincare routine and prod the inside of your mouth a few times using a dry toothbrush, and then you dive beneath your duvet and are dead asleep in minutes. Your slumber is interrupted only by dreams of a world where your theories about Hyunjin aren’t just theories.

If you’d had even one mouthful less of rosé, you might’ve remembered that you picked up your phone and opened your most recent conversation somewhere between steps two and three.

[3:10 A.M.] To: Hwang Hyunjin (Stray Kids, JYP) Audio Message.wav

Hi. I’m drunk and I’m going to regret this tomorrow. But that’s tomorrow’s business. There’s something I need to tell you tonight.

After I moved to Seoul, I used to get these bouts of homesickness. Not in a standard ‘I wanna go home’ kind of way, but in a way that felt like a hole had opened up in the ground below me. I was always ready for it to swallow me alive. I would’ve been happy for it to.

But I haven’t felt that way since I met you. I realized this not too long ago, and it threw me for a fucking loop. I’ve never felt seen the way you see me. I’ve never been known the way you know me. Every time I look at you or hear your voice, it feels so much like returning home that I don’t have to dream of it anymore.

You called me fearless the other day, but you’re wrong. I’m terrified. I’m terrified that history is going to repeat itself, that another home will slip through the cracks between my fingers and there will be nothing I can do to stop it. And that’s why I’m so hesitant towards you, towards whatever this is, because I don’t want to go through that ever again.

So the thing I need to tell you is that I care about you. I care so much that I’m scared speaking it into existence will make it real and vulnerable to all the worst parts of the world. But it’s not speaking it into existence if I’m drunk, right? Maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ll never even hear this. So it doesn’t count. That’s how that works, surely.

Sorry if this was totally nonsensical. And sorry that I’m so bad at feelings. You must think I’m impossible, and I don’t blame you.

Good night, Hyunjin. Thank you, again.

One month ago. Los Angeles, United States. 12:37 A.M.

When Hyunjin steps out of the hotel’s tall glass double doors, he’s wearing a teatree facemask, and his bags are draped over the crooks of his elbows like he’s an upper-echelon socialite on his way back from a lavish shopping spree. And then he sees you standing next to the curb, and the situation dawns on him in bits and pieces.

You’re the only one here. The vans that were supposed to take you to the airport are nowhere to be seen. Boarding begins in four minutes.

A soft flinch crimps his features. Oops.

“Tomorrow night,” you’re saying into your receiver, but your attention is on him only, your penetrative gaze putting the dead in deadpan. “The absolute earliest. You’re sure?”

When you finish listening to the manager’s response, you heave a sigh that sags your shoulders and end the call with a jab that should’ve splintered your screen protector.

Then, you start walking towards him.

“Hi,” Hyunjin says, his eyes pleading for mercy. “You are so talented and beautiful. I don’t tell you that often enough, do I?”

He expects you to grab him by the cuff of his ear again, to throw him a retort that’s twice as mean as it is witty, something along those lines. But you merely push your suitcase in his direction, and it is then when he notices that your face is hard enough to chip enamel; that your eyes are eerily, entirely empty. The tendril of warmth that’s always dancing among the subtleties of your expressions, that he’s always pursuing to the very borders of his dreamscapes, is nowhere to be seen.

A shiver travels down Hyunjin’s spine as he curls his fingers around the plastic handle.

Something’s not right.

“We’re gonna have to stay here another day,” you say. “Can you check us in? I have some calls to make.”

“Us?” Hyunjin repeats.

“Junghan could only reserve one room,” you reply, your phone already glued back to your ear. “The hotel is fully booked for the next few months.”

With that, you’re already preoccupied with the next thing, turning to the side to reschedule a meeting. But Hyunjin can only stare blankly at your profile, trying and failing to grasp that he’s going to spend a night with the subject of his every daydream. Though you might be leaning more towards the nightmare end of the spectrum at the moment, considering the way your head snaps back in his direction like a woman possessed.

Go, you mouth, and he obliges.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin is in the elevator by himself. He speculates it’s an ingenious, intentional choice that the lights are turned off, so that whoever’s inside can watch the psychedelic lights of Los Angeles sprawl further and wider the higher they go. But he can’t think of anything except for the subzero nothingness where your irises should’ve been.

Hyunjin’s initial guess was that he crossed a line with this missed plane, but the more he thinks about it the clearer it becomes that this isn’t an isolated issue. It’s the culmination of something bigger. Something continuous.

You have become as familiar to him as the lines of his eyes or the ridges of his knuckles. He’s learned where to look for your feelings when he can’t find them in your face; studied your words and the undertones of your voice like they’re verses of scripture. Yet, it was around two months ago when Hyunjin looked at your side profile and couldn’t recognize you. He’d blinked, startled, and then you’d asked why he was looking at you so strangely, and everything returned to normal. He wrote it off as a side effect of sleep deprivation and paid it no more mind that day.

Except it happened again a few days later; again, not too long after, and Hyunjin began to suspect that he was losing his mind. You didn’t seem all that different—a bit more taciturn than usual, maybe, but you’d been busier than usual, too, your workspace always full of empty coffee cups by the end of the day, the pages of your planner more colorful and crammed than ever. The minor variances never struck him as a reason for worry.

“Stupid,” Hyunjin whispers bitterly.

He replays your interaction one more time. You, shoving your suitcase against his palm, telling him to go check in. Him, fastening his hand around the handle, sensing the bottomless void within you, feeling like he’d been dismissed from before your throne.

As he steps off the elevator and walks towards your designated room, he doesn’t understand how or why—but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s failed you.

Nearly an hour passes. The room only has one bed, so Hyunjin turns off the lights, folds himself onto the armchair by the floor-to-ceiling window, drapes a complimentary robe over his shoulders, and tries to sleep. He doesn’t know why he even tries. He’s exhausted, but he knows damn well there’s no hope of him getting any rest until he has you in his proximity again.

He doesn’t look at the door when he finally hears it open, but the knot of tension in his chest comes undone as soon as your silhouette appears in the hallway. He takes out his first real breath since leaving you at the hotel’s entrance.

You hear the sound it makes. You fall still.

“Hyunjin?”

His heart physically aches at how tired you sound. “Yeah?”

“Oh, you’re awake,” you answer. “Move to the bed. You’re not sleeping on that thing.”

He remains where he is, his chin resting on the side of his fist, his eyes glued to the flickering panorama of neon lights below him. You crouch to unzip something, and there’s a heavy thud of metal meeting cloth, presumably your laptop being tossed onto the bed’s mattress.

“Hello? Did you—”

“Is everything okay?”

A short pause follows his interruption.

“I still have a few emails to write, but everything’s been rescheduled, so as long as you don’t miss tomorrow’s flight, too, we should be—”

The robe slides off his lap as he pushes himself to his feet. “That’s not what I mean.”

The only source of light in the room is the lone light above the entrance, but it’s enough for him to see your face and the surprise etched upon it. You open your mouth, utter one syllable, and stop yourself immediately after, stunned into silence by the sobriety in Hyunjin’s expression.

“Enlighten me, then,” you say finally.

“You really don’t know?”

“What is there to know? That you missed a flight and pissed me the fuck off? Trust me, I’m aware.”

“No, that’s not—”

“So what are you talking about, then? Why are you talking in riddles? Fuck, what is it that you want from me?”

There’s real frustration in your voice, and it’s the first time you’ve shown him any emotion in pure, unadulterated form. With this, Hyunjin understands that he was right; this conversation is heading towards a culmination of some kind, and so are you, with the devastating force of a natural phenomenon.

He wonders if you’re prepared to destroy yourself, too.

“I know how you are around me,” you whisper. “You’re always acting like you’re trying to unearth something, and I figure this ‘something’ must be wonderful, because you look at me like I’m made of stars; you speak to me like you’re serenading a lover. But I am constantly, ceaselessly haunted by the possibility that this ‘something’ doesn’t exist, that you’re looking for the wrong thing in the wrong person. 

“I know it’s selfish to ask for anything more than what you’ve already given me—you’re so kind, Hyunjin, and you’ve been nothing but since the day we met. But grant me one more wish, even if it is the last time you ever do.

“Tell me what you see in me,” you plead. “Otherwise, I will spend the rest of my life mourning the months of yours that you wasted on me.”

With that, it occurs to Hyunjin, falls upon and cracks open his mind like a piece of firewood, that you have never been aware of—never asked for—the throne you sit upon.

For an indeterminate amount of time, the two of you stay there, standing in silence on opposite sides of your dark hotel room. You haven’t felt anything like this in a long time, your chest heaving with your heavy breaths, your vision muddied by both the lack of light and the desperation searing through your windpipe. 

When Hyunjin finally begins to speak, his words wrest the oxygen from your lungs.

“After you moved to Seoul, you used to get these bouts of homesickness.”

Your mind careens; your heart reels. 

“They came in a way that felt like a hole had opened up in the ground below you.” He takes a tentative step towards you. “You thought it was going to swallow you alive. You would’ve been happy for it to.”

You never got to listen to your voice note. You were blacked out when you recorded it and horrified when you discovered it in your chat logs the next morning; the wretched thing was unsent so quickly that you couldn’t check for a read receipt.

But there’s not a doubt in your mind that these are your words falling from Hyunjin’s lips.

“You haven’t felt that way since you met me, though.” He is only a few feet away from you now, and getting closer still. “You’ve never felt seen the way I see you. You’ve never been known the way I know you.”

God, you said that? Did you propose to him too?

“You’re terrified that another home will slip through the cracks between your fingers and there will be nothing you can do to stop it.” Hyunjin flattens his left hand upon the drywall next to your ear; pushes you back ever-so-gently against the hard surface. “I must think you’re impossible.”

And he brings his face so, so close to yours; looks at you with so much adoration, so much tenderness, that you feel the final bulwark around your heart fracture—

“I don’t,” Hyunjin breathes, cradling your cheek, “because you’re not. And I want to prove it to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life. That’s what I see in you.”

—and crumble.

You form fists in the lining of his hoodie. Hyunjin’s hand tightens where it lays over the curve of your jaw.

When you crash your lips upon his, he tastes the metallic sheen of electricity and the salt of tearwater both; he witnesses crying lightning, for the first time in human history.

Present day. Cannes, France. 9:15 P.M.

Hyunjin never thinks when he fucks you. 

One part of it is that he physically can’t; his cognitive facilities shut down when he has you quivering beneath him, like his desire to pleasure you is too overwhelming for his mind to bear. The other part is that he doesn’t want to. He’s afraid that the voices of cynicism and trepidation that plague his mind every waking moment will taint the actualization of his wildest dreams.

Lucky for him, you manage to erase his mind on a daily basis with only one accidental touch or an apparition of a smile, so he doesn’t stand a chance whenever you let him between your legs.

“Trust me?” He whispers, imprinting the words upon the inside of your thigh.

“More than anyone,” you breathe, and just this has him tenting against his satin slacks.

Hyunjin used to see you scolding managers or moving racks twice your weight and think that was you in your element—tonight, he learned otherwise. You were so confident that even just the way you puffed your chest out prompted heads to turn and low voices to ask for your name; so charming that even by the end of your self-introduction you had every guest you spoke to eating out the palm of your hand. 

Eating out your pussy, though, is Hyunjin’s privilege alone.

He wraps his fingers around the hem of your dress and pushes it upwards, creating a halo of red fabric around your midriff; slides your panties off your legs and tosses them over his shoulder. All obstacles out of the way, Hyunjin winds his arms around your thighs and pins your hips to the mattress, slotting himself between your knees as they fall apart. Your ankles fold over the top of his head, and you’re about to ask if he’s okay like this, but then you feel the hot muscle of his tongue trace over your dripping folds—and every word of every language you’ve ever known is dispelled from your brain and your mouth in the form of a stuttered, euphoric moan.

He teases you first, drags his mouth over you so that he’s lapped up all of your slick, and just when you feel your patience thinning he pulls you apart with reverent hands and begins to suckle on your clit, as attentive to your every solicitation as always. You arch your back so high off the bed that your ankles knock Hyunjin’s head down a few inches, but the new angle is even better; grants him access to more of you.

He reinforces his grip around you, presses his torso right up against the side of the mattress, and gorges: sluices your labia until you’re spilling from his chin onto the sheets; flicks against your bundle of nerves until it’s pulsating and swollen on his mouth; fucks his tongue against your favorite spot until you’re curling your toes, seeing the whole solar system. 

“Coming,” you blabber after some time. Tell me something I don’t know, he thinks to himself. “Coming, Hyune. I’m—fuck—”

Hyunjin is aware of the way you clench so hard around nothing that your pelvis hurts. He is aware of the way you’re so dilapidated from pleasure that you’re genuinely struggling to breathe. He doesn’t care. He wants to get the cadences of your climax tattooed into the gray matter of his brain, and there can’t be rests in the sheet music, can there?

He presses a hand flat on your stomach in preparation for your body’s protest, then returns his face to its place between your thighs; starts to leave kitten licks around the edges of your puffy folds before you can finish riding out your high. You press your tongue against the back of your front teeth, emitting a pained hiss as you draw a sharp breath, tears stinging at your eyes.

“Son of a bitch—”

“Trust me?” He asks again, his voice vibrating against your sore cunt, and your complaints quiet into whimpers as you bring a hand over your quivering mouth, and nod. 

At least Hyunjin bridles his thirst the second time he eats your pussy open, his lips smacking openly and slowly over your every inch except the one that would be truly unbearable for you right now. He’s so rough and so fucking careful at once like he can’t decide between obliterating and worshipping your cunt.

He’ll end up doing both.

Within a few minutes, your legs have gone slack on either side of Hyunjin once again, and another coil has begun to tighten behind your bellybutton, equal parts pain and pleasure—but he knows your pussy just as well as he does your person by now, and it’s not long before the former is compounding with the latter.

Round two has a faster ascent and a steeper drop. He finds your spot again with the precision and ease of a trained marksman and fixates upon it like a man starved. It has your cries devolving to incoherent profanities and, to his unfettered delight, your foot actually shaking, your heel tapping against the back of his neck every time it comes down.

As if referencing a metronome, Hyunjin matches the rhythm of his tongue to your accelerando. Only when your leg is nearly convulsing does he wrap his lips back around your clit; slide two fingers into the place he leaves empty and pumps them into you until you are liquifying, igniting around him, your mewls lamenting the second orgasm he plucks from your core.

After your body has stilled, Hyunjin lifts his head, his face drenched in perspiration and saliva and you. His eyes travel over the slopes of your arms and the hills of your breasts, over the tears streaming from your eyes and staining the pillow you lie on. It is this last bit that has him shrugging off his shirt and undoing his dress pants with one hand, palming his throbbing cock with the other.

He clambers over you, and the kiss that follows is filthy, your mouth falling apart when he rolls your nipples between his fingers, strands of spit suspending between your tongues before dripping down onto your collarbone. You can sense what he wants in his craving lips, his pleading tongue—and you know he won’t ask for it. He’s tested you enough tonight; he’d rather your comfort than his pleasure.

But you guide his leaking head to your entrance, returning his stupefied look with a watery smile.

“Love me?” You ask this time, for the first time.

There is not even a nanosecond of hesitation when he answers, “with everything in me.”

He comes inside you the moment he bottoms out, your name leaving his lips in breathless, desperate repetition like a broken prayer as he topples off the same cliff he’d dropped you from moments ago. You curl a hand in his hair as he stutters against you, bring your lips flush against his ear, and whisper that you love him too—and the sight of you beneath him blurs he also starts to tear up.

This is the reality Hyunjin lives in, presumably because he was a saint in his past life, and it would be his utmost pleasure to see it through.

Two years later. Milan, Italy. 11:28 A.M.

For the last half hour, a ray of sunlight has repeatedly struck the diamond that sits between the second and third knuckle of your ring finger, and the Vogue journalist on the other side of your desk thinks he is slowly losing his vision. But when he asks his final question, your hand comes to a much-appreciated stop, the fountain pen you’ve been twirling around clattering to your tabletop.

“Where do you find your inspiration?” 

As the journalist blinks the phosphenes from his eyes, he finally manages to get a good look at the face of Versace’s newest designer, and he detects something ineffable and warm in your expression.

“My inspiration, hm?” You fall silent for a short time, thinking. “If you asked me this at the start of my career, I’d have said ‘people.’ Their postures, their expressions, their wardrobes. I knew I was a goner when I watched a fashion show for the first time and noticed how the models’ attire helped them harness their innate power and grace—I wanted to orchestrate that kind of symbiosis, too. In that aspect, nothing has changed, actually. I still find wonder in human beings, and not just the ones on the runway. I think it would be difficult not to, don’t you?

“Some time ago, a good friend of mine was having trouble with an outfit for her client. She asked me a similar question, and only then did I realize that it was no longer just people that inspired me most, but a singular person. I had always been skeptical of the idea of a ‘muse’ until I met him. But I could only spend so long denying how he ventured closer to my soul than anything ever had, how he knew me and saw me like nobody ever could. He understood my art. He was my art, so—”

Your eyes dart over your ring, and the journalist would’ve flinched out of habit if he wasn’t so mesmerized by your eloquence.

“—where better to find inspiration than inspiration himself?”

A few seconds elapse, and then you clear your throat and straighten your back, returning to your office from your trip down memory lane. 

“That’s the long answer, anyways. The short answer would be my fiancé.”

The journalist laughs, and he doubts you’ll give him this next piece of information—but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try.

“And who would that be?”

He’s right. You don’t answer the question. But you do flash him an enigmatic smile, and for some reason it reminds him of lightning.

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[thatfoolsophie]

word count: 1000 summary: once, the witch of the waste and mrs. pentstemmon were girls. they did not grow old together.

i. doubt thou the stars are fire It was a clear night after a blustering autumn storm. The stiff wind that had parted the clouds now ran through the grass and shook down stars from the sky like fruit from heavy-laden branches. Agatha Pentstemmon and Desdemona Brenner did not hold hands as they watched stars fall. Agatha was acutely aware that between grand gestures, Desdemona’s hand kept alighting in the grass, bird-like, inches from her own. “I’m going to catch a star,” Desdemona said. “One day.”

“Desdemona,” Agatha said, watching the dark horizon and not, determinedly not, Desdemona’s hand in the grass beside hers. She could have said That isn’t possible. She could have said By the time a star falls, it’s too late. She could have said You know it as well as I do. It would have been no use; Desdemona did not believe in the impossible. “Agatha,” Desdemona mimicked. Up leapt her hand once more, painted nails glinting dark as she pointed. “I’ll catch one for you too.” Agatha did not want a falling star. But she could listen to her talk for hours under skies like these. In spite of herself, and her empty hands, she asked, “And what would we do with our stars?” Desdemona hesitated only long enough to draw Agatha’s gaze, then flashed a ferocious smile. “Swallow them whole.” A clever girl, but a little wild, their teachers said of her. They were wrong. She was incandescent. Agatha’s chest felt split open, wordless wishes spilling out like the pearls of a pomegranate. That was when she knew that she shouldn’t love her as she did. That was when she knew how a star felt as it fell.

ii. doubt thou the sun doth move The candle by Agatha’s desk guttered as Desdemona blew in. “It worked, you brilliant creature,” she said. The winter wind that gusted in after her put high color in her cheeks and sent her dark hair flying like lightning. The room was suddenly full of her. “What are you talking about?” asked Agatha. “Your treatise. About old magics, about blood and passion and stars.” The memory stung. Agatha spent ten years distilling magic to its simplest rules, trying to understand its heart. She had written a volume on her findings; it was met with only laughter. Brilliant was not what others called it. “That was nonsense. It was just theory.” “It was right,” said Desdemona. “I didn’t understand. The first magic is fire. It’s this,” she said, and kissed Agatha with burning lips. Everything uncertain was seared to ashes. One of Agatha’s hands grasped for the edge of her desk, knocking into her inkwell; the other had found the curve of Desdemona’s jaw, her feverish cheek. Agatha pulled away breathless. “You did it. You caught a star.” She could sense it now: new magic pulsing through her, or perhaps it was the pounding of her own blood. “And now the world is ours,” Desdemona said.

iii. doubt truth to be a liar It was spring, and the eastern sky was golden. Desdemona only ever came by night. Maybe that was why it had taken so long for Agatha to notice the hardness of her eyes. There was disdain in the arch of her eyebrows as Agatha described the young enchanter she taught. “How much longer are you going to go on with this?” she asked. Agatha’s jaw tightened. “I want to teach.” “No, you don’t,” Desdemona said impatiently. “You’re too clever to be stuck here. You could do anything, you could–” “Be like you,” Agatha guessed. Desdemona stilled. Every time, it was the same silent request; go and catch a falling star. You’ll see. You’ll see. You’ll understand what I’ve become. But unease had taken root in her chest. “They say you’re burning the prairies, terrorizing towns, cutting down anyone who stands before you. They say you’ve killed.” “But you don’t believe that,” she said. “I don’t want to believe it,” Agatha said. In her heart, she pleaded, Tell me it’s not true. If you tell me I’ll believe you. Make everything simple again. Morning shadows melted from the garden where they sat; the gentle breeze smelled of jasmine and Desdemona. As silence bloomed and withered, Agatha exhaled, allowing herself one more moment of softness. Over the years she had developed a reputation of her own: fierce, formidable, brilliant. She felt none of these now. But she straightened like her spine was steel, and said, “You shouldn’t come back.”

iv. but never doubt I love Agatha Pentstemmon had known death dogged her for some time now; she didn’t think she would recognize the tread. It had been decades, and still the sound of her footsteps was as familiar as her own heartbeat. She would know her by night. She would know her blind. “Desdemona,” Mrs Pentstemmon said, rising slowly in the sweltering summer heat. The Witch of the Waste’s lip curled. “You’ve grown old.” She still looked the same. Same hard eyes, same dark hair, same clever hands. She cared as little for the passage of time as the concept of impossibility. “You made a contract with a fire demon,” said Mrs. Pentstemmon. “It was that star you caught, wasn’t it?” “Who told you?” Her gaze sharpened. “Howl. You’ve seen him.” Her tone was hungry, and hateful. It wasn’t Desdemona’s voice. Agatha looked pityingly at the thing that wore the face of the woman she’d loved. I wish I had gotten to mourn you. The Witch of the Waste would not grieve for her. “I know you’ve seen him,” she hissed, flames licking her fingers. “Tell me where he is.” To her own surprise and the Witch’s, Mrs. Pentstemmon laughed. As if she would betray her student. As if she was so easily cowed. As if she would give an inch to this cruel creature. “Over my dead body,” Mrs. Pentstemmon said. It seemed fitting that it all would end in fire. With a flash of magnesium-white, she fell.

(names invented by @born-to-strange-sights :))

[demon-girl-2004]

SPOILING YOU

Requested by @hellbornediamonddreams

Gender not specified

Romantic

Nezha reborn monkey king

When I tell you this man has MONEY! I shit you not I mean homie has a whole water fall in his house and a Damn slot machine for liquor!!! Abs he gives the best gifts because their always the gifts he knows you want- like when you think he’s not listening or paying attention- which he always is- and it’s just a sweet surprise

Monkey king RB

I don’t know why but i can see him going both way in he “spoils” you by giving his love and “affection” because he really doesn’t understand spoiling you but on other hand i can see him being smug and giving you lavish gifts just to see your face go red or to see you smile. I guess it can go both way depending on who he's with

DOTA 2 Wukong

I am so sorry but this man is the literal definition of “ I am gonna spoil the hell out of you” and he does it all with a smug look on his face why? Because he KNOWS no one can match him when it comes to spoiling you and that makes him happy as hell. Oh you were staring at a necklace? Consider it yours! Your clothes ripped? He’ll get you the best he can find!

SMITE Wukong

While he is wise in this universe and far more king like he is still su wukong and he still has a huge ego and he is a rash so yeah he’s gonna spoil you! It strokes his ego when he gives you something you thought you would never be able to have especially if you're from a poorer background. Don't get me wrong! He doesn’t just do it for his ego he genuinely loves spoiling you!

LEAGUE OF LEGENDS wukong

He TRIES to spoil you with his affection and fruit! He’ll warp you in his arms for hours and bring you your favorite fruits and foods and meditate with you! I don’t think this version of wukong is very materialistic so things like expensive gifts or lavish things are saved for important dates.

LEGO wukong

He spoils you with affection and a few gifts from time to time but his gifts mean something! Like when he’s spoiling you with gifts they're always things you need or things you have been talking about for a while! Wukong doesn’t like giving meaningless gifts, he thinks you;ll take it as he’s not listening

LEGO macaque

Yes. just yes. He spoils you because he can’t always be around with his line of work. But be warned most of his gifts are stolen! I am serious! This dude pays for things, yes but half the time while he’s paying he’s using his shadow to pick up a few things for you on his way out!

————————————-

Masterlist

I hope you enjoyed this!

[yoichichi]

JJK when they want attention

warning(s): none !

a/n: just smth sweet rq by my mf baby 🥳!! Hope you guys like hehehehe

characters: yuuji, megumi, gojo, nanami, inumaki, nobara, & maki

Yuuji

Has literally no problem being bold faced about it I PROMISE. If he’s feeling cuddly and clingy and you guys are alone he’s whining and clinging onto you, doing any and everything in his power to convince you to come nap with him or cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. If you’re in public he has a ~method (which he definitely thinks is a total secret and he’s a genius mastermind but you’re 100% onto him and just thinks he’s so cute so you give in most of the time).

He’ll come up behind you, even if you’re taller than him, and hug you super tight around your midsection, mumbling about how tired he is and, oh gosh, how warm it would probably be under the covers if the two of you were cuddling right now. And, man, I don’t know, napping? When you giggle and give in he gets so giddy and holds your hand super tight all the way home.

Sometimes though he just wants your attention and praise so he’ll talk about things he did that day that he thinks you might be proud of him for 😭 and every time you say anything along the lines of “good job” or show your interest he gets so happy and lights up :)

Megumi

Megumi is a starer sorry not sorry LOL. You’ll even be alone, in your own shared home, and you’ll feel a pair of eyes staring at you from the other end of the couch and when you turn your head to ask what’s up he’s looking away super fast hoping you didn’t notice, as if him not so secretly turning his head away from you doesn’t give it away. He just feels so weird asking for your attention - and not just cause he’s shy but he gets all in his head about it.

He doesn’t want to seem weird asking you for attention, maybe you’re not in the mood. What if it makes you uncomfortable? What if you feel like you have to say yes? Or what if you say no and it’s awkward? How would he even ask for attention? He’s just generally an over thinker and slightly embarrassed over how much he just wants you to pay attention to him.

Over the course of your relationship though you’ve picked up on his little signs and have learned how to coerce him into letting you know what he wants, as well as giving him attention when he needs it.

Ask him a few questions about anything and through the course of the conversation you’ve somehow brought his head to your lap and are now playing with his hair until he passes out, and he’s in heaven <3

He’s very lucky to have such an attentive s/o :)!

Gojo

A WHINER. A LOUD BABY WHINER. He’ll often opt for making inappropriate comments too - even if you’re in public - to make it seem like ~that’s the reason he wants you in bed, but then he’s suddenly “super tired” and thinks cuddling is a better idea instead. Why he just can’t tell you he’s in the mood for cuddling you never know

He will blow your notifs up and not give af 😭 texting you endlessly like

(y/n)

(y/n)

(y/n)

(y/n)

I miss you :(

(y/n)

HELLOOOOO

[1 photo attachment]

it’s my penis 😜

14 missed FaceTime calls from “gojo.”

I’m sorry I’m joking it’s not my penis don’t be mad :(

It’s actually not his penis

If you do answer one of his spontaneous calls though it’s just him smiling at the phone like “whatcha doingggg?” Cause he misses you and your face

He also is constantly sending you things while he’s away with work, postcards, gifts, treats, you name it. You cant blame him for missing you sm :(

And when he does get home from a trip he’s actually a bit quieter, looking forward to just wrapping you up in his arms and cuddling with you until you fall asleep. But he makes sure to stay awake so he can look at your face and think about how cute you look sleeping and probably drooling a little <3

Nanami

No words, just sighs and hands. This was particularly common when he still had his boring office job - although now with gojo he just has to give you a look when he gets home that says, “this man is gonna kill me, please just hold me.”

He’s most clingy and cuddly when he’s tired/fatigued. It’s so easy for you to coerce him to bed or to relax when he’s visibly drained cause all it takes is some quick work of your hands on his sore muscles or running through his hair, or better yet undoing his tie for him, and he’s putty in your hands. He always watches so intently too when you take the time to take off his suit jacket and tie for him, even going so far as to unbutton his shirt. You know it’s been a long day when he lets you do this and after he’s decided he’s stared at you and basked in you long enough, he grabs your cheeks and leaves you a sweet sensual kiss. He always sighs deeply and then pulls you into a hug, every once in a while you even hear him mumble about how lucky he is.

If he ever just wants your attention though he kind of makes a fussy show about it 🤭 I’m talking sighing periodically and staring at you and once you look at him like ,, yes? He starts asking you random questions about your day or just in general. He just wants you to look at him and talk to him ok?

Inumaki

Ok he’s a very different person depending on whether you’re in public or in private:

In public it’s a lot more subtle cues. Like fidgeting with your hands a lot, tugging on your clothes even or sometimes staring at you really trying to work up the puppy dog act like :( cuddles please?? Or if you’re sitting down somewhere maybe he’ll rest his head on his shoulder to really signal to you he’s feeling cuddly. There was only one time where he had to take drastic measures and text you cause you just were NOT taking the hint.

You were busy listening to Yuuji and rambling back and forth with him when your phone suddenly went off and it was a text from Toge that just said “🤨 give me 10 reasons why I don’t have you in bed right now cuddling with me.😐 since when did yuuji talking about dogs suddenly become so interesting 🧐?” LIKE ABSJAJSJAA

In private it’s a very similar attitude at times he’s just physically more bold. Like he’s not above picking you up and carrying you somewhere he can hold you and kiss all over your cheeks <3 he’s a little less bratty about it when it comes to you two cause he knows you want affection just as much as he does at those times :) although he thinks making a show of things is very funny to him

Nobara

Her favorite form of affection and attention from you is lowkey head pats or when you ruffle her hair. It all started when she did some trivial thing and as a joke you reached your hand over to ruffle her hair and tell her how good of a job she did, and sure it was funny but man what she wouldn’t give to have you do that again.

So now she often finds herself babbling on to you about all the things she’s done recently that she’s proud of when she wants your attention, hoping you’ll praise her again in any way. She especially loves when it’s unexpected though, when she’s not fishing for praise and she just gets it. Or rather any kind of compliment really. Something about it makes her heart soar <3

She also really likes when you do her makeup so she’ll often ask you to try things on her or to even do your makeup <3 even if you’re just playing around, it feels so soothing and she loves getting to stare at you so close I love her I gtg

Maki

She likes to pester when she’s feeling clingy. Checks in with you and any responsibilities you may have so she can immerse herself in them with you and just work on things with you :) like no matter what it is she’ll find a way to get herself involved 😭 she really just wants extra quality time with you and will find any way to do it without seeming too ~mushy, mushy just isn’t really her thing

When she wants to cuddle though she’ll try to trick you into thinking you need rest HSKJJAJA

“You seem tired, why don’t you rest. I’ll help you fall asleep.”

Or

“Hmm you look pretty sore. I’ll go run you a bath, sit and wait here.”

Acts of service anyone?

Also, praise is actually kind of important from you, she never really received it much growing up having dealt with her family, and doesn’t feel like she needs it to feel proud of herself. But something about hearing you praise her over even the tiniest things has her feeling some type of way every single time.

Y’all just love and cherish each other what can I say <3

Pls leave comments, flood my inbox, Rb, whatever u prefer I just love hearing your kind words :D love and miss these fools 😪 and as always I really hope you guys enjoyed my first jjk piece :)!

taglist: @plutowrites @aracynthos

if you wanna be added to any taglist just ask!

[ftmeriwether]

thank you for the tag! I'm gonna rb on my writing blog though

Rules: Share your OC's favourite colour, shoe choice, season, animal, pastime. I'm going to use Beela from a novel I have not titled yet

Color: I want Beela to like purple like me, but I think their color is more blue.

Shoe choice: They don't wear anything if they're inside. Outside it's canvas sneakers (converse low-top knockoffs)

Season: probably fall. They don't like winter due to the holidays and their birthday and they don't like summer clothes, which leaves spring and fall. I'm sure they like Halloween, though.

Animal: Oh man, I don't know. I have a throwaway line about them having a duck painting in their apartment, but they're afraid of geese. They also adore their cat, but I'm not sure that's their favorite. Knowing them, it's probably some weird animal no one has considered for a favorite, like an elk or a minnow.

Pastime: reading. This kid reads any time they can so they don't have to think about being miserable. They're the kid that can't buy books because they go through them too fast. Librarians love them

I'm not really sure who wants to do this, so I'll tag @stesierra and if anyone else wants to join, I'd love it

OC Favourites Tag

Yay my first tag game! Thanks for tagging me, @talesofsorrowandofruin! :)

Rules: Share your OC's favourite colour, shoe choice, season, animal, pastime. For Andi from the fic I just released, The Diver:

Colour: She lives loves yellow. Her wife Emily often has yellow flowers in her hair.

Shoe choice: usually a durable work boot for farming, carpentry, and any other work Andi needs to complete around the farm. For lounging, a comfortable sandal in the spring and summer.

Season: Spring. It’s a lot of work but she likes it that way. The early flowers like dandelions start to come up and she loves the smell of spring after a rain.

Animal: She raises chickens on the farm, they provide eggs and sometimes companionship when they’re not doing chicken things. They’re simple, sometimes silly animals and she loves caring for them.

Pastime: Even though she looses nearly every time, playing cards with Emily. Emily’s a card shark, and Andi’s only had a handful of lucky victories against her. Sometimes they have neighbours over for cards, and the pair of them work together to dominate the game.

Tagging @incandescent-creativity, @cwritesfiction, and @cheadarchesse if any of you feel like doing this! (No obligation of course!)

[aimfall]

please share any jeansara thoughts you have, i am so curious after seeing your post 👀

ohohoho you’re in for a ride (also thank you so much for the ask I love them so much)

might be missing a bit (been a while since I’ve talked about them at all) but hopefully I got everything

ok so I first thought of them because they’re both my favorite characters and when I was reading their stories, they reminded me a lot of each other. they both:

1. have shitty families who raised them like that to uphold/bring honor to the family name

2. are self-sacrificial, don’t take care of themselves, and don’t let themselves relax because of how said shitty families raised them (basically everything else is above their own needs) & devotion

3. everything they do is for their city & they’re willing to give their life to protect it

4. have strict scheduling and routine

5. are devoted to someone (Vanessa & Raiden); also they both fall back on them for comfort and go to the tree related to them to think (Windrise tree & Sacred Sakura)

6. long/longed for people to love them (Jean longing for a romantic relationship and someone to trust (check More About Jean: V) & Sara longing for friends & Takayuki to treat her like his biological children)

7. are strong and fight but don’t like violence and prefer to settle things peacefully

8. and they’re both just tall strong women (amen to buff & scar hcs <3) who are good people! what’s not to love?

and I think they have neat contrast too!

1. Jean is the best swordsman in Mondstadt, but she would rather be a shield to protect it, and Sara is more like a sword to fight to protect Inazuma.

2. Jean has a lot of friends; Sara doesn’t (but she wants them! so a lot of my thoughts just go along the lines of “what if. she went to Mondstadt with a clean slate and healed and made friends”)

so basically, I thought of them being together because they both overwork themselves and deserve to take a break! and I love seeing self recognition through the other in works, so I just think maybe they could take care of each other and themselves.

I want them to meet and realize that what the other person is doing is destructive to themself, and they’re doing the exact same thing. I want them to allow themselves to be selfish and love and let themselves be loved for once!

I think they’re hesitant and nervous at first, but then they get the hang of things and become more affectionate towards each other. I think Sara is like a big cat

tl;dr: I just love them and I want them to be happy!

I’m always up to talk more about them if you’d like! just feel free to rb this, send another ask, send a message, etc. 👍

(and I’m so sorry about the long post haha)

[tsukishumai]

Hearing You Sing for the First Time

feat. ; Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa

genre ; fluff, established relationship

a/n: i know it’s been forever since I’ve done an hc sorry haha. aged up characters bc I’m an aged up character <33 ty anon for the idea ilysm

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Kuroo Tetsuro

accidentally hears you singing in the shower

literally drops whatever he’s doing, runs to the bathroom, and stands there with his ear to the door

you let out the most ungodly scream when you opened the door and his six foot two rooster head was the first thing you see

immediately starts teasing you

“i didn’t know i was dating my own personal miki matsubara”

“Tetsuro, you need to start listening to new music”

will blast your favorite songs in the car on purpose, then turn off the radio when you start singing

says he does it because it’s hilarious when you get so upset, but secretly does it so he gets to hear your singing voice

always makes remarks like “Wow! You should audition for NHK Nodo Jiman!*” or “And you’re doing this for free? Should I book you an agent?”

You roll your eyes at his incessant teasing, but he thinks you don’t notice the dopey smile on his face when you serenade him with the Yarichin Bitch Club theme song.

Has an album on his phone purely of videos of him recording you singing and dancing when you thought you were alone.

(Every single video ended with you jumping and screaming when you finally noticed him. The videos are his most prized possessions.)

Bokuto Koutaro

You thought it would be a good idea to sing for Bokuto at his birthday party. You imagined he would smile, and laugh, and give you a kiss for gratitude

You did not expect him to start crying

not just a little tear that happened to slip past his lash line

no, he was full on sobbing — red faced, snot dripping down his nose sobbing.

You literally had to hold him to calm him down

(no one is allowed to speak of this incident)

He doesn’t ask you to sing for him, because he considers it a special gift, one that he wants you to do for him willingly

and sometimes after dinner, you might end up drinking a bit too much wine, and start singing to him softly in the car ride home

he’s always dead silent when you sing, and you start to wonder if he even likes it, but then you glance over, his face is always scrunched up and he’s trying not to let the tears fall

“if you’re going to cry every time I sing, I’m gonn sto—“ “DONT YOU DARE.”

sometimes, you’d be at home singing a tune while you’re cooking and suddenly you’ll just feel a strong pair of arms slip around your waist from behind.

you’ll stop and freeze for a moment, but Bokuto just rests his head on your shoulder before gently requesting, “Keep going.”

So Bokuto stands there, eyes closed and holding the love of his life while they sing and make him dinner.

and he knows his life is perfect

Oikawa Tooru

the first time he heard you sing was the first time he took you to meet his best friends.

they all decided to go karaoke — a reminder of their more youthful days

admittedly, oikawa didn’t expect much. He just handed you the microphone and let you pick your favorite song

as soon as the first note leaves your mouth — Jaws? Dropped. Eyes? Widened. Breath? Stolen.

Actually gets irrationally upset. “You could sing like that this entire time?? Why the hell haven’t you told me?!”

“It’s… never come up?”

Is completely enamored with your voice

Literally starts bragging to anyone that would listen

“Hey, did you know that Y/n can sing? They’re really good.” “You’ve only told us, like, ten times Oikawa.”

Begs you to sing for him all the time, but honestly, it’s a little embarrassing so you make him work for it

“Babe, show them you can sing.” “Sure, if you show them that you can put your foot behind your head.” “I— that was supposed to be between me and you.”

Now, takes you to karaoke every chance he gets so you literally have no choice.

But honestly, you just like giving him a hard time. You would sing every song ever written for Oikawa Tooru, if he asked.

Specially because every time a melody comes from your lips, he looks at you like you’ve personally hung ever star up in the sky.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

* = NHK Nodo Jiman is a Japanese amateur singing contest 😊

rbs appreciated <3

[hollyhomburg]

Sweet like Honey (Break like Glass) (KTH)

Summary: Taehyung knows there’s something wrong with his girlfriend; the way she can’t look at herself in the mirror sometimes or the countless other bad days. He makes it his mission to make her feel as beautiful as possible.

Tags: mentions of body dysmorphia, Self-esteem issues, Dysphoria, internalized self-hate, picnic dates, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, barely referenced eating disorder, angst over Taehyung being an idol, mentions of weddings, proposals, and wedding dresses, mentions of nudity and sexual scenes/themes. 

A/n: This was mostly inspired by Taehyung in his green suit and my own experiences with my body. This is a relatively short and less descriptive than my usual au’s. don’t forget to comment and RB if you liked it! also my grammarly kinda crashed while writing this! so i apologize for more grammatical errors that usual. 

Song rec: Electric love~ Pravi cover

W/c: 6.7k 

- There is something wrong with Taehyung's girlfriend. With you- and Taehyung just can’t figure out what it is. 

- Taehyung and you have been dating for a few years, though it was a little on and off in the beginning because of a few world tours. Now you live together, and every day Taehyung lives the fantasy of coming home to someone who loves him. You standing in his kitchen with Yeontan running around your feet begging for little bits of food. 

- But The small things are always there; the way you look at yourself in the mirror with a hint of hate. The way you are always so particular about how clothing fits you and won't wear anything that properly shows off your curves. 

- Sometimes you barely react when Taehyung puts his arms around your waist, bunching up his extra-large shirt that you sleep in. Taehyung loves the feeling of getting his hands on you, his palms so wide on your form. You have The kind of soft cuteness that makes him want to take you and hold you close and never let go. Sometimes in the mornings- he actually does pull you back into bed with him.

- But Sometimes, when Taehyung puts his hands on your waist you do freeze, he feels the way your body is taut and stiff like you’re trying to suck in or something. But when he looks at your face- he doesn't see any of the strain or anything else unpleasant or unhappy in your smiling face.

- Taehyung wishes you felt as comfortable with him as he feels with you.

- Tae would say that you’re both completely happy. Would say it- if he didn’t notice your insecurity sometimes. More than once He sees you excitedly set out an outfit on the bed. Getting dressed for something a little more interesting than sitting on your couch, only to see your expression fall the second that you see yourself in the mirror. 

- Whatever's going on in your head- it hurts you, hurts that you don’t see yourself in the mirror the way that he does. other days you know before you get dressed, You’ll avoid looking at yourself in the mirror and instead ask him if you look okay. 

- “Just turn around and see for yourself” he says- unthinking. More worried about getting to your destination on time. This time it’s a dinner with the rest of bts, a private room in a restaurant to celebrate the end of their last comeback. You aren’t going to be the only s/o or guest in attendance and you just wanted to make a good impression. 

- Taehyung is more excited for a few days of break that will proceed the dinner than the dinner itself. Days that he will probably spend catching up on the sleep that he’s lost over the past few weeks and spending quality time with you. He realizes a moment too late when he looks back at you. A hand suspiciously rubbing at your cheek, a little damp. That dark- unhappy look fitting your face like a glove. 

- You put a very baggy jacket over your dress and call it a day. During dinner you bunch it up in your lap like it will help cover you and say that your legs are just cold when Taehyung asks. But he isn’t fooled- though he was, a little, at the beginning of your relationship.

- When Taehyung first meets you he barely thinks that there’s something off about the way you view yourself. That revelation comes later once he gets to know you better. Taehyung dreams of a time when he’d known from the beginning, if only so that he could have started helping you with your body image sooner. 

- When you and Taehyung first met you were both a little broken, both a little too lonely for words. Your type of loneliness that was left for rotten nights, the kind where you bunch up a blanket or a pillow just to have something to hold onto. 

- When Taehyung first bumps into you at a bookstore You don’t outwardly look like the insecure type. Your cute glasses on your nose and your ankle length knit dress chic and oversized. You’d sat on opposites sides of a very long velvet couch to enjoy a coffee and a book in Taehyung’s favorite bookstore. A hair too close at your separate tables to be completely accidental. 

- You look at the handsome stranger, (or at least you think he’s handsome- most of him is covered by a facemask) thinking that just maybe There was only one reason why he didn’t take the table by the window; that reason being a desire to be close to you. “Is that one any good?” you’d asked, voice rough and quiet in the empty cafe. 

- When Tae looks over it’s to see your legs have been pulled up and underneath you- your shoes off and hidden under the table. Your stocking legs bare for him to look at and drink in. It feels too intimate for a stranger, but all at once in a moment, Taehyung daydreams of what your legs might feel like in his hands. And a little stirring in his gut says ‘oh- you like this- you like this one.” 

- “The coffee or the book?” he asks, perplexed and trying not to lose his cool. all the stadiums in the world couldn’t unnerve him and yet- one pretty girl in a coffee shop has him worried, holding on to his coffee and book like it will anchor him. You smile like his response is some sort of secret. “Either is fine.”

- Running into each other at the bookstore turned into sitting close on one of the many velvet couches. Which turned into Tae inviting you to a different coffee shop with better coffee and fewer books so you could openly talk without fear of getting scolded. 

- This leads to dinner dates and kisses and your back against his sheets in his apartments. Looking up at him like he’s still trying to tell you some sort of secret. You’re a secret that Taehyung just can’t figure out but wants too. And Tae has a feeling he could spend years getting to know you and still want you just as much as he did then- as he does now. Hovering on the edge of a relationship with you. 

- What had started out as coffee dates, turned into hooking up and then when his life got busy again- late night booty calls where he was barely awake enough to properly reciprocate. Those nights ending when you woke up to his empty bed and a text on your phone thanking you for coming over so late. It’s kind, but it’s so formal you read between the lines. Assuming deep down- that Taehyung doesn't want any more than a late night booty call and an occasional friendship from you.

- Taehyung had just assumed you wouldn’t want a relationship with him if it had to be this way, every six months or so when he gets so busy he can barely find time to take a proper break let alone go on a date. You’d assumed he just didn’t want a relationship with you but you where already desperately in love with him and unwilling to let go of the little bit you had of his time. Even if you knew it was a little toxic. 

- He still remembers looks back on that night often. Just after the comeback-  he’d been strung out on that restless energy he often gets after they’ve finished. another cycle of their career. All keyed up with nowhere for his energy to go. It had been late into the night and nearly morning when you’d finished enjoying each others company. Taehyung leaning back against the pillows, so deeply stated that he felt the ache in his bones. Eyes already fluttering closed he’d reached out to touch you, only to find you not there already pulling up your pants by the door. 

- And Tae’s serotonin and oxytocin high brain hadn’t been able to look past much more than your jiggling ass for a moment before he realized that fuck- you’re not staying. “What are you doing?” he’d asked, a little scathed, and you turned around like you were trying not to get your hopes up.

- “Going home to sleep? like i usually do?” Taehyung feels the stinging in his chest like a wound. Dreams of sleeping with his arm thrown over your waist, holding you close and trying to fit you into the lonely space in his chest- extinguished in a violent moment. (Tae had a feeling you’d fit there perfectly- and now to have you snatched out of reach feels like disappointment) “aren’t you just going to sleep here?”  

-“Nah im kinda hungry” you lie. He shrugs not getting it “I could always make you breakfast in the morning,” his words are interrupted by a yawn, “or now?” 

- “You don’t need too” “but what if I want to” all at once you’re frustrated. “Tae- what are we doing here?” you throw your jacked down with an upset humf, “we both know you’re not going to date a girl like me so why- why are you making this harder than you need too-”  

- “hold on-hold on” he jumps out of bed, suddenly so awake that his heart is pounding. “who the fuck told you that i don’t want to date you?” Your hand hovers on the doorknob an inch away from your relationship being nothing, and Taehyung is brazen and unshy, nearly proving your point when he just gets out of bed all of himself on display. At least he has the good grace to pull on a pair of boxer shorts. “you mean? you do?” 

- “Of course i want to date you!” he’s an inch away, and his large hands just barely brushes yours “you like all the same things as me, i love talking about books with you and cuddling with you and having you here when i get home- things have just been so busy lately- i didn’t want to make it feel rushed. but i do- i do want you to be mine unless you don’t want-”

- You’d hated how unsure he looked in that moment. Most of the time- you’re so unsure yourself that you forget how it must look to Taehyung. But in that moment you can see your own expression on his face, and you hate it there just as much as he hates it when it’s on your face. 

- That night had ended with you soft in Taehyung's clothing, smelling like him. talking it through with him until the sun actually had come up. “I guess I just got so caught up in giving you what you wanted because I thought that was all I could get.”

- He touches you so delicately, his fingers stroking down the line of your throat as you talk so that he can feel the words in his fingertips as you say them. “tell me how I can be better- please, I want to be a good-” taehyung swallows against the hope in his throat. “I want to be a good boyfriend for you.” 

- Your more giving nature didn’t stop there, and you were always determined to give taehyung more than you took in your relationship. Like your very presence in his life was enough of a gift in itself. But it’s something that Taehyung has always been able to see through. In the same way that you feel like you’re not enough for him. The same way he feels that he can’t give you everything you want or need. Like a date out in public or Anonymity if you were ever to take your relationship public.

- You’ve been mobbed more than once just because you came out of the same apartment complex he lived in. And even though no one knows you’re dating Tae besides those who know you personally, Taehyung fears that one day you’re going to want something he can’t give you.

- Like others he’d dated in the past. The girls (and one boy) who had all told him after a few months “either go public or we’re through” or gotten tired of not being able to partake in the same things all their friends did, like getting walked home or going out for dinner on a Thursday without making an expensive reservation. You were never like that.

- At the beginning, you’d just smiled when Tae had told you he couldn’t be seen with you out in public. You’d just given him a soft but understanding smile and volunteered your apartment as long as he brought his most comfortable pajamas to stay the night incase he got too drunk to drive home.

- Those nights, you’d often ended up drunk on the floor of your bedroom and Taehyung remembers looking down at you from above, his hand unintentionally wound in your hair. Somehow you’d ended up in his pajamas and he didn’t mind at all.  

- “You know- I can’t give you a lot” it had taken Tae a long time to open up to you after his last break up, but then he’d felt the dizzying smoothness of your skin against his- more intoxicating that the alcohol. You’d giggled up at him, equally as drunk. “Just give me you, Tae, and that will be enough.”

- it was around then that Taehyung had made a promise to himself. He may not be able to give you everything a boyfriend should be able to give you. but he’d give you himself fully, and anything else he could give without endangering his career.

- Sometimes you can’t believe that you’re dating an idol- let alone someone as genuinely beautiful as Taehyung. Sure- knows one knows you’re dating him. But only someone who didn’t know your relationship would think he was just a status symbol or something. You don’t need to show each other off to know your love is real.

- Though you do partake in couple items fairly often- Taehyung has a certain love for things expensive. And he does like to spoil you in the small ways- accessories are the best for you- Taehyung knows they don’t trigger your body dysmorphia in the same way clothes do. He still has the first couple item you ever got- a beat-up scarf in coordinating colors, the edge of yours torn- hanging over the doorway that leads to your walk in closet. The fabric too worn to wear out normally.

- Early on- he’d fucked up and gotten you a skirt that was a size to small. He’d tried to help you into it, and helped you try and zip it up. But after a moment when it was clear the zipper wasn’t going to go over your hips (one of Taehyung’s favorite parts of you and the whole reason why he’d bought you the skirt)

- You’d slapped his hand away, and Taehyung had looked up- miffed for a moment but knowing he’d fucked up when he saw your eyes fill with tears. He’d apologized again and again, And you were careful to make sure he knew it wasn’t his fault but the skirt had ended up thrown to the back of the closet and shoved in a bag meant for donations.

 - Now Taehyung knows Some days your body genuinely doesn’t bother you, but others you live a much more dire reality that you try to hide from Tae. he also knows that you don’t like talking about it. He might enjoy telling you the minute details of just exactly why Namjoon pissed him off today during practice and hashing it out again later when his temper has dissipated. But you don’t like to talk about your insecurities in so many words. 

- Sometimes the words hover on the edge of his tongue because he should tell you that It genuinely doesn’t bother him when you flip flop between needing to spend hours of your time on your makeup and being okay with your face as it is. And if hours are what you need to feel okay then fuck- Taehyung will learn everything about how you like to do your hair. 

- The other days when you change 5 times before it becomes clear that it’s not the clothes That's making you feel so distressed. your side of the closet torn apart. When you can’t meet Tae’s eyes when it feels like nothing fits you anymore. More than once you’ve decided that you don’t really want to leave the apartment if the only thing you feel comfortable in is a pair of his sweatpants and a baggy tee-shirt. Tae only wants to make sure you get what you need. You don’t need to hide your bad days from Tae.

- but Taehyung hates those unhappy days when there's not more that he can do than let you hide your body underneath the baggiest blanket possible on your couch. Calling to cancel your plans, and then join you there. You tell him he should go hang out with your friends without you but if you don’t go with him- there’s really no point. 

- He knows it's just a little unhealthy- but he’d miss you the whole time and want to text you through all of it. And your friends would end up annoyed that Tae was on his cellphone. Better to spend the night here, even if you flinch when he touches you later that night. 

- And really- he doesn’t mind at all, all of that stuff, it only makes him worried about you. The person he loves more than anything. And he tries to help you through the little things. Complimenting you whenever he can (and do it while being genuine so they don’t feel hollow to you) and feeding you from his own chopsticks at dinnertime. Gently gripping your chin in his hand and murmuring “it’s my job to keep you healthy.” 

- for what it’s worth when Taehyung does have more free time than usual- he keeps track. More than once he’s had to worry and wonder if you’re actually eating anything when he’s not around. He looks for the evidence of a lie on your face and in the kitchen to see if it takes the form of untouched or spoiled food. gone before you could convince yourself to eat it.

-  And even though he can’t find any evidence of this- the threat still lingers on the edge of his mind. He’s had his experience with unhealthy behaviors and he knows the starting signs.  

- But it comes to a head one night when he sees you looking through a bunch of catalogs. You might struggle to find things that you feel comfortable in on your worst days but you do like to help Taehyung shop. It’s a game that you play. Competing to see which one of you can find the weirdest outfit or the strangest prints. Though you win more often then he does. Leaning over your computer to laugh and say “okay- but actually, it’s terrible and I want it and I don’t know why.” 

- For as hard as your relationship can be- there are also countless moments of happiness, more than taehyung could ever properly appreciate. but god if he’s not going to try to treasure this love he has with you. The kind of love that's sweet like honey regardless of the broken glass mixed in. 

- It’s one of your lazy day activities. Both of you sit on the couch under a fluffy duvet with matching glasses of wine. A drama playing in the back round. His hand alternating between hovering on your knee and reaching for his wine glass.  

- Tae gets wrapped up in looking at a strange line of weird art neveauy Dress shirts and when he looks over he sees to his surprise- that you’re looking at dresses. These dresses are the long kind- the kinds that are white and flowy with beaded sleeves or shear mermaid designs, most in blush and cream tones.  

- You notice him looking and quickly tilt your screen- but it’s too late he’s already asking to see. You’re shy but eventually, tae wrestles it away from you with a kiss and a chuckle- you complain that he almost made you spill wine on the couch. His eyes widen more as he clicks through your tabs of which there are eight. And he commits the name of the designer to memory Because these...these are almost like wedding dresses and you’ve never expressed much interest in Dresses like these. 

- As if the drama you’re watching seems to fortel this conversation; this episode is the wedding episode. taehyung watches you as he checks through the tabs and you watch the bride and groom with a far away look in your eyes. As the characters go through the antics of losing their rings and the evil stepmother spilling wine onto the bride's white dress.

- When you do speak, it’s so soft that Taehyung has to lean in to hear it. your secret whispered into open air. “Sometimes it’s easy to think- that I’ll never get married. Get to wear a dress like that. It’s not that I don’t think you love me,” you’re quick to reassure him. his stricken expression melting away as his words die in his throat. “-or that you wouldn’t- won’t ever propose. And this isn’t me trying to guilt trip you into it either but-” 

-Taehyung rubs a reassuring stroke down your arm. Your eyes locked on the dress on the screen, eyes so hungry and wanting but sad too like you know it’s futile to want something so simple. It’s so ordinary to taehyung but to you it feels unreachable. “Dresses like that- princess dresses and wedding dresses- are things that other girls get. Girls that have the perfect body and the perfect hair- the perfect everything. Things that I don’t see when i look in the mirror.”

- Taehyung is soft when he touches you, guiding you to set your wine and your computer away, closing the screen too so that the picture of the dress goes away too. Leading you to sit across his lap. Touching your face gently like you’re the most beautiful thing that’s ever graced his fingertips. 

- “That’s what they get and i-” you rest a hand on your chest and for a moment- Taehyung can see how much it just aches. Whatever hole has been left in your heart by your trauma, Tae feels it as keenly as you do. “I get to feel like this all the time.” 

- Feelings of powerlessness fill him up. He wishes he could make you feel as beautiful as he views you- but he knows that the words of another only do so much. But he can’t say nothing He feels so tongue tied. he’s so painfully aware that he might say something that just makes you feel worse. he swallows through the lump in his throat. “I know this won’t make it any better, but I think you’re beautiful, and you deserve the world- and all the pretty dresses you want.” 

- He bites his lower lip, mindful of not making promises he Doesn’t know if he’ll be able to keep. He’d propose to you right now if he thought it would magically make you feel better but he doubts that would fix the issue. Your self-esteem issues run deeper than that. through wounds that are older than your relationship and too deep for Taehyung to heal with a few words.  He touches your face softly “let me try- to make you feel as beautiful as you are to me” his kisses get hotter and you return them “let me try” he promises. 

- That night you make love on your couch and for that moment of ecstasy you let yourself believe you’re worth the touch of Kim Taehyung. That alone is something that’s hard for you to believe every day. And you try to compensate for the ways that you feel lacking sometimes in the worst ways. he still doesn't like to think of the beginning of your relationship for that reason. 

- but Something about that day with the wedding dresses weighs on him though, bothers him in a way he just can’t articulate. And it’s not until he confesses to Jungkook about what happened and how he feels strangely futile about the whole thing, that Jungkook gives him the simplest answer. 

- “If she wants to feel beautiful in a wedding dress hyung, why don’t you just buy her the dress?” Taehyung starts to try and backtrack but Jungkook shakes his head. “I didn’t say marry her- just dress her up like you are and take her out on a date- make sure she knows beforehand. But there’s no reason why you can’t make her feel like a princess.” 

- So Taehyung does just that- picks out a dress not unlike one of the ones that you mentioned you liked. Layers of lace and delicate tulle, perfect for you. Yes it’s from a wedding line but it is more of a light dust pink. A dainty and dreamy color perfect for the day that he aims to create. He double and triple checks your measurements because the dress is made to fit and he doesn’t want to repeat the skirt experience. 

- Your actual date is a picnic set out on a thick knit blanket on a hill overlooking the ocean. He gets the picnic basket made for you by a restaurant. Delicate pastries filled with sweet meats, freshly cut figs and sweet berries and fruits. More than you could logically both eat in a sitting but sue him- Taehyung likes going a little overboard. All paired with your favorite bottle of wine. Wildflowers and delicate blooms too- all set out on the blanket. 

- He Gets you booked for a private appointment at a hair stylist and makeup artists and surprises you. Tells you to keep your Saturday open for him, you level him with a look over dinner. “What are you planning kim Taehyung?” he smiles into his glass. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see princess?” you raise your eyebrow at the unintended and unusual term of endearment and let it slide as he pales at the unintended slip up. 

- At first you’re a little skeptical- this isn’t the first surprise date he’s planned (and it probably won’t be the last). So you humor him with a small smile when he sits you down in the stylist’s chair late Saturday. You face away from the mirror, the stylists under orders to keep your look hidden from you until they’re done. 

- before you start, He puts his hand on the back of your chair and leans in to press a quick kiss to your forehead “are you okay here while I go and get things ready?” the stylists buzz around you spoiling you with mimosas and fruit too, making sure you’re comfortable before they start. Tae really did bring out all the stops for this. 

- You are okay with this, or at least you think you are until you finish with your hair and makeup- you can feel it, the layer of the expensive products on your skin and the faint burning in your hair as they set your hair in delicate fairy like curls, small pins with little flowers that you see out of the corner of your eyes, you see the swatch of red on the lip brush when they paint your mouth- and it starts to feel like too much when they lead you to a changing room- and you see the dress hanging on the hook. 

- “She won’t come out Mr. Kim.” one of the assistants informs him when Taehyung comes back to get you. Everything is set up, the weather is perfect, the flowers in the field blooming when Taehyung stopped by to make sure that everything was all set out. Jungkook is in place too- ready to be your private photographer.

- That’s the little surprise- since Taehyung hopes you won't see him if he manages to hide well in the bushes and snap photos while you have lunch and lounge in the grass. Jungkook promised to leave if it looks like things where about to get steamy. And thinking about the dress- Taehyung can't say that’s not a possibility. 

- There is something incredibly alluring about the idea, hiking up your delicate skirt. The way it might just look if Taehyung had you pull the thin straps down. Getting you out of it just enough to slip close to your warmth. you could even rollplay it- Taehyung some night who had no business touching someone as beautiful and you; a princess so sweet and ethereal hidden in some forgotten stretch of palace garden.  Like something out of the stories you used to both read when you were just inches away in a coffee shop. 

- But right now all he wants to do is make sure you’re okay as he barely calls your name before he rushes through the satin curtain in to see you. Sitting on the velvet poof in nothing more than a silk robe, leaning your head on your hand as you look at the dress with more than a little apprehension. 

- He’s polished himself up since he saw you- his dark green suit the perfect color swatch against the dusty pink of the dress. you turn to see him and tae- oh Tae is in love with the way that they’ve outlined your lips like two petals of a perfect rose. The faint sparkle that dusts your cheeks. Taehyung’s whole body thrums as he looks at you. 

- “Taehyung” even the way you say his name is a question, “why did you get me all dressed up like this?” 

- Taehyung lets out a deep shaking breath, taking your hands in his, “im not proposing to you today,” is the first thing he says, and he can tell the words shock you a little- that can’t have been a thought far from your mind. But he presses on before he can get too nervous to continue. 

- “But the other day- when you talked about never getting to feel pretty- like a princess. I wanted to give you that. Even if we never get married- or at least can’t for a while- you deserve to feel as beautiful as a bride on her wedding day every day and I guess-“ he stumbles forward over the edge of a carpet and you catch him a little. His large fingers tumbling through your small ones. tangling and untangling. “I guess I just wanted to be your groom for a day too.” 

- “So you thought you’d take me out on a date and get me all dolled up for what?” Taehyung can tell you got the idea of what he’s going for now, a small smile tugging at your lips and Taehyung feels like he’s won a prize. He nudges your shoulder with his; leaning close like it’s a secret, “I even have a picnic basket.”

- You giggle at his wink and Tae directs you to the dress. But you kick him out. The stylists give him a look, shuffling around with their things and cleaning up. But he holds up his hands. “Apparently I’m not supposed to see her until the grad reveal” they nod- like this is some sort of unspoken rule but sue him- Taehyung wants to see you look pretty in the dress he picked out. 

- Taehyung thinks he’s prepared to see you in the not-wedding- wedding dress- but he’s not. You knock the breath out of him. The shade of your lipstick the same tone as your dress just more saturated. It fists you better than Taehyung dreamed it would. And truly- you look like a princess at a ball- or at the very least a fairy. 

- Taehyung holds out his hand, The picture of a gentleman. You still look unsure, but you take his hand anyway. You stop when you see yourself in the mirror. Unable to believe that really you look this different in makeup, but the makeup artists really are talented. You look ethereal. The blush on your cheeks just enough to feel like a natural flush. Your lashes long and pillowy and thick, your lips bitten looking and buttery red pink. 

- You walk up to the glass and touch the surface, certain for a moment that this really is a fairytale and you have fallen down the rabbit hole like Alice. You don’t say anything, and neither does Tae- he just takes your hand and spins you under his arm, your dress flares out around you- swishing with the heavy weight of many layers of fabric and tulle. And you let yourself fall into his arms like some damsel and tae your knight in his swept back golden hair. 

- “I’m going to buy you every dress like this in the world if it makes you smile like this my love” normally he wouldn’t refer to you as my love- but today- when everything is a fairytale- it almost feels fitting. You are smiling, and you give yourself another long look in the mirror before you turn on him. Dimly aware that some of the makeup artists are swooning at the picture you paint. 

- for once, you have to admit- you look well matched. 

- “I was promised a date Kim Taehyung” you say, a smile toying at the edge of your lips. Taehyung holds out his hand, bowing at the waist. “It would be my honor of having you accompany me Ms. Y/l/n.” 

- “That’s ‘your highness’ to you” and both of you can’t help but let out a giggle at the ridiculous farce. Your ‘chariot’ is nothing more than Taehyung’s car. The one you’re used to taking. And the drive isn’t all that far away. an hour at most. 

- Far below- the ocean turns the sea spray and distant rumbling the only clue to the shore below you. You almost want to swoon at the picture that Taehyung had set up, flowers laid out on the white blanket, food and other things, a Bluetooth speaker set up playing soft music. Taehyung makes sure to lay out the food. And feed you mouthfuls of sweet figs that taste sweeter when he licks the juice off of your tongue. 

- After lunch Taehyung takes a few polaroid’s of you. Because even if Jungkook is doing what he promised, Taehyung still wants ones that are taken from his hands. He gets a few of you, stretched out against the white blanket, your arched enticingly without your shoes on, discarded in the grass. It could be a boudoir photo-shoot with the way it makes Taehyung’s mouth go dry, if not for the way the lace clings to your body. Covering the bits Tae wants to see. His hands hot and heavy on your calf, and sliding up.  

- He thinks of actually doing a boudoir photo-shoot with you, considers the likelihood of you agreeing to it. he imagines your body bare against heavenly silks, hips hiked up to show off the curve of your ass. one day- Taehyung will convince you to model for him that way. Even if he suffers through the whole thing feeling as strung out as he does now.

- After lunch you take the stairs down to the water's edge and take your shoes off. Running in the sea spray, Taehyung gets a few more photos of you like that. Laughing at a joke he’s said, holding your dress up and out of the water. Collecting little shells that you shove into the pocket of his suit. 

- All in all- by the time you get back up the rocky staircase and back to clean things up- your lipstick is kissed off your mouth, you have sand in the bottom of your shoes, and you smell more like sea spray than expensive perfume. But you feel pretty and delicate in a way that you’ve never felt before. And you’re certain that it’s all because of Tae. Taehyung’s used up all of the rolls of film that he brought- and he’s sure jungkook has too. between the two of them they’ve probably taken over 300 photos of you. 

- “Did I do a good job today?” Taehyung asks on the drive home, always a good sucker for some good old words of affirmation. Stopping for fast food because- what his princess wants- his princess gets. “The best” you say. Head tipped back against the seat, already looking sleepy, Taehyung’s suit jacket pulled across your shoulders. “You really are my prince charming Tae.

- And he is- even if the dragon that needs slaying in one firmly locked inside of your head. Taehyung will help you defeat it, even if it takes 100 days and 100 different dresses. 

- Taehyung ends up buying you more dresses. Every color. And your new game becomes finding more of them. taehyung collects pointlessly pretty things to make you feel more beautiful, and he loves every moment of it. 

- When the photos come back from Jungkook (a secret they had actually managed to keep) your eyes go wide as you take in the photos, so much clearer than the ones that tae had taken on his polaroid camera. You paint a gorgeous picture together, him in his green that matches the grass and you- as delicate as the flowers around you. 

- But your favorite thing about the photos- isn’t how you look (though you have to admit for once- that you did look beautiful) it’s the way Taehyung is looking at you. He’s looking at you like he’s aching, like It hurts to be parted from you even an inch. 

- There is one series of three photos that you like the most. Where you’ve closed your eyes and are leaning back in the sun and his hair is shining, one moment he’s not holding your hand and he’s frowning, looking so jaggedly honest and thoughtful, and then next your hand is in his and he’s smiling brighter than the sun. 

- You hang the photos in your living room. And next to the other photos you have, you don’t look nearly as happy as you do in those. It’s your smile that's different. When you look at the polaroids that tae’s taken of you. You’re smiling at him behind the camera, and you think even if it weren’t for the makeup and the dress- you still think you’d look beautiful in the photos. 

- happiness- the kind that comes unburdened by insecurity- looks good on you, and if you can get that by love- by being in love and being loved with your pain instead of despite it, then it’s all the more beautiful. 

- you go on more ‘pretty dates’ as you like to call them. and Taehyung watches you change slowly- but it’s for the better. As you don’t shy away from your reflection, wear longer dresses and prettier things without thinking. Wear that shade of lipstick again, and even go out wearing nothing at all on your face and seem not to feel anything. Taehyung knows it’s a struggle some days still- and yet you make it look so effortless. 

- it's the worst when tae comes home and he finds whatever outfit you picked out for yourself already hung back up- and he’ll whine and beg you to put it on again until you eventually concede. Capturing them in black and white, in technicolor, in isolated swatches of red and blue. he loves taking pictures- especially if theyre of you.  

- The picture wall gets added to in the future, until there is no more space in your living room. You call taehyung an obsessive flirt when he insists on hanging them up and he calls you his muse. You go on more not wedding wedding dates. And it’s no surprise to either of you when one-day someone- a fan spots and you soon pictures of you are plastered all over the internet- stories about a secret wedding between taehyung and a mystery girl. 

-  And in the end- it doesn't feel like you give up much with the unintended outing of your relationship. Taehyung couldn’t take it back even if he wanted to and he doesn't. now he gets to hold your hand and go out in public. “No- we’re not married yet. But we have been dating for a while so please respect our privacy.” He tells the reporters when he gets ambushed. And after a few stressful months where you lean into each other more than ever, things calm down. 

- You have to be a little more secretive after that, careful when and where you plan your ‘pretty dates’ or so Taehyung has liked to call them. A sudden rush of seaside weddings this season makes that difficult and is entirely due to you and your pictures. it seems that you have become an unintended trend setter. the dress you wore selling out too. 

- The hits of his love are always there, in every photograph, in every dress that appears in your closet, in ever tender moments. other hits are there too- hints of more love to come. when Taehyung asks you out for another pretty date, careful to make sure you get your hair done and your nails too. His nervousness written all over his face and his actions. 

- And when you find a ring box, hidden in the pocket of one of Taehyung’s sweatpants the morning you’re supposed to go on your date, You’re not surprised in the slightest. 

- You keep your discovery a secret. After all you only have a few hours to wait.  

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Please Reblog and Comment, Likes are nice, but they do little to support content creators! 

Kofi 

[uweiy]

Omg thank you so much for the tag @omarandjohnny ! I already had a recommendation post in my drafts about shows featuring mlm relationships so this is like, the perfect opportunity

Therefore I'm gonna start with Number 6. Your top 5 and answer the rest of them in a rb :)

To My Star

The summary did them dirty tbh. It didn't really make me want to watch it but I did anyway and boyy I don't regret it, so I'll try to make a better one.

Summary : When actor Kang Seo Joon gets involved in a scandal, he ends up living with Han Jiwoo, a young chef working in a restaurant. Jiwoo is a man of habit and does not really enjoy his daily routines being messed with, but SeoJoon with his outgoing and forthright personnality might just manage to worm his way into Jiwoo's life.

This show features cooking as a love language, has incredible acting and aesthetically pleasing shots. Engaging plot, believable characters you are 100% invested in, tension but no unnecessary drama. Did I mention amazing acting ?

Anyway cannot recommend this one enough.

Where your Eyes Linger

Summary : Han Tae Joo is the son of the chairman of a huge conglomerate, blessed with a wealthy family, good looks and popularity. Kang Gook is his bodyguard, and also his only friend. Tension erupts between them when a new female student, Hye Mi, shows interest in Kang Gook. As the two go on a date, Han Tae Joo becomes irritated, and soon after, long-suppressed emotions start surfacing. Could there be more to their platonic friendship?

©: Based on Shannon0l0 at MyDramaList

What's with Korea and great acting. More dramatic than the previous one imo but I mean, it's called drama for a reason. I'm just gonna do this ao3 style : bodyguard, high school, feelings realization, friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending.

History 2: Crossing the Line

Summary : School 'bad boy' Xia Yu Hao gets pestered to join the volleyball club, where he finds himself falling for Qiu Zi Xuan, retirer player and dedicated manager of the team.

I've talked about this one already but. It just. Makes me happy. So far it's still my favorite from the HIStory series. Pretty lighthearted, and the acting is just... So damn good.

The Untamed

I like how there's no in between in this list. It's either relatively simple mini dramas or, like this one, full blown 30+ plot-heavy-episode costume dramas. I'm not sure if I have to summarize this one but still, here goes.

Summary : Wei Wuxian goes to study at Gusu Lan, and cannot for the life of him resist bothering the renowned second jade of Lan, Lan Wanji. Life happens and 16 years later, when Wei Wuxian has become feared by the whole world as the Yiling Patriarch, Lan Wangji is the only one still standing by his side.

It's about the ✨👌pining👌✨. and the profound love, and the pretty costumes and the musics and reincarnation – basically, lots and lots of angst, and so much more than just a 'romance' drama.

Word of Honor

Another if-you've-been-following-me-this is probably-not-unknown-to-you kind of thing. Still.

Summary : Zhou Zishu, renowned assassin has all but given up on life and decides to spend his last 3 years drinking in the sun. He meets Wen Kexing, a mysterious man who keeps following him, and Cheng Ling a boy who lost his family, and somehow they teach each other the things that matter in life.

Anyway. This one is about the married life, and standing by your partner no matter what. Enjoy the ride, but get ready for p a i n 🙃

Honorable mention : Love is science

Well. I kinda have to mention this one since it's my current obession lol.

Summary : Between clients dumping water on Ou Wen and Mark's knee jerk reaction when he finds out Ou Wen is gay, their first meetings are kinda disastrous. However through a series of encounters where they more or less begrudgingly help each other, they end up enjoying each other's presence more than each of them would have thought ?

It's definitely about the "oh shit I caught feelings". Yes it's a side couple, but honestly it's rather refreshing that they have an existence outside of their developing bond, relationship thingie. The acting is great, their chemistry is on point and hilarious, and each character has their own life. I cannot wait to see how this will develop.

[wannabcool-blr]

Hello and welcome to my Tumblr! I mainly rb memes and things related to my interests

I appreciate your interest in the chaos that is my blog! I figured there should be an intro so you have an idea of who I am and what I will post. So, first things first….

I am a cliche “basic christian girl” [yes I’m saying it]- I love Jesus, Chick-fil-a, Starbucks and Target. Despite the controversy surrounding the topic, I LOVE pineapple on pizza. If that’s a deal breaker that’s ok. I know that religious memes or posts can be triggering to some, so I will post them with a trigger warning (TW) BUT I will still post them. I have been hesitant to be my authentic self because I fear others will hate me due to my beliefs. I shouldn’t be ashamed about what I believe so I will no longer allow myself to fall into that line of thinking. I strongly feel that all individuals deserve to be treated with dignity and respect despite our differences. I will avoid discussion of politics because honestly, I’m sick to death of everyone fighting. I will not tolerate individuals mistreating my mutuals either. I’ve developed some amazing friendships and that aint gonna fly y’all.

ALSO: my ask box is always open! If you have prayer requests or need a meme or something sent your way LET ME KNOW! I am more than happy to answer any asks and send y’all some love if you need it.

Expect posts about the following:

Marvel (MCU)

- Moon Knight (I LOVE Steven Grant)

- Spider man

- Andrew Garfield

- Tom Holland

- Captain America

- Loki

Favorite Movie: Captain America Winter Soldier

Favorite Series thus far: Moon Knight

I’d recommend: Moon Knight, Hawkeye, Wandavision and Loki

Star Wars

- Din Djarin (Mando)

- Grogu

- Obi-Wan Kenobi

- Ahsoka

Favorite Movie: Rouge One

Favorite Series thus far: The Mandalorian

I’d recommend: The Mandalorian and Clone Wars Series

Twenty One Pilots

Favorite Album: Trench

Current Favorite Song: Saturday

Tyler Joseph is awesome and the best [totally a Tyler stan ]

Fun Fact: I know the entire discography by heart [I can even rap Ode to Sleep] *big flex lol

I watch a lot of television [when I’m not doing an enormous amount of homework] and I’ve decided to rate some of the things I watch. I have watched several horrible movies and I’d love to save you the hours I spent watching. There really is no sugar coating if it is bad… so my ratings are as follows:

⭐️Awful (up to) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Fantastic

Context: I primarily watch movies related to Marvel or Star Wars [I’m biased ok?]

I am not a huge fan of DC but I’ve watched all the movies. Ex: I enjoyed Suicide Squad (2016) and Wonder Woman (2017). In my personal opinion, Micheal Keaton is the best Batman [no debate]. * and no I haven’t seen the new one yet

I appreciate you following my blog and I hope we can become well acquainted :)

[dingyuxi]

z anon again also i agree w yamh!! it's always so refreshing to see no love triangles!!!! also DID YOU SEEEEEE YUMI'S CELLS 2 IS GETTING RELEASEDDDD IN JUNEEEEEEEE. like i was emo over why her being released late but to think that two of my most anticipated dramas are going to be airing the same time *melts* also plus and minus is the first taiwanese bl ive seen but im soooo in love w it!! i swear good bls keep coming out, maybe it's because i'm watching based on what i see you rb/create hehe. also sooo tru, kinnporsche is full of eye candy but i also enjoy the banter and action scenes. like i think it's my favorite thai drama overall so far, altho i'm not too exposed to thai media!! also thank u for validating that i dont need to finish it because it is... definitely not worth it imo. like the more i sit w the fact that they used the slur sm the more i'm like :/// not for me....also i don't mind xu kai but a mutual literally hates him so going into falling into your smile i was expecting like full blown terrible 발연기 but it wasn't bad at all kdgjnkjn. shooting stars is v mediocre which is a shame, and since i'm part black the problematic elements of the drama have caused me to drop it. the only reason i'll watch the drama r cameos since ik we're getting a find me in your memory cameo/reunion!!!!! i hated our blues tbh but i'm enjoying the highschoolers' plot and look forward to han jimin and kim woobin. i feel like han jimin can do no wrong, she could be a murderer for a role and i'd be like "ykno, maybe they deserved it..." also thank u!! i will add these to my watchlist for more dramas! this week and next are my wrapping up as well so it is hectic but then we have summer to relax!! at least i do since i'm not doing an internship this yr!! hang in there and i hope you receive the grades you desire!! also i've been seeing your gifsets for going to you at 493km/h and I LOVE THIS DRAMA SM!!! i think the two leads have great chem and are really underrated actors so hopefully the ratings get better :( also jo hanchul always delivers w whichever role he chooses!! ALSO since my last message i've been watching miss crow and mr lizard and i'm alr on ep 18.. IT'S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! - z

hiiii this is very late but here I am!! Finally responding 💕💕💕I SAW THE POSTERS YES. i admit I didn’t watch season one but jinyoung is lead this time so!! i might just have to watch now. what’s your other most anticipated drama? the BLs are really stepping up their game recently. it’s great to see. i can’t wait for to my star 2 to drop because we need that natural chemistry back in our screens again and hwang da seul beloved we can always trust her to deliver. I’ve still only gotten a chance to watch the first ep of plus and minus but!!! i really like their dynamic so I’ll probably just binge it eventually. “maybe it’s because I’m watching based on what you rb/create” 🥺🥺 now the pressure is on! hopefully I don’t lead you astray fjsks. LOLLL why does she hate xukai spill the tea. i don’t really have any opinion on him except he had that one set is photos and I was like oh? He’s kinda hot here. I’ll be honest I dropped shooting stars I watched the first episode and then never continued it just didn’t grab me enough I guess. oof yeah I can see how that would hit too close to home, I support you dropping it, you gotta do what’s best for you! i also dropped our blues lmfaoo it was too depressing and also the women keep getting the short end of the stick. i was watching mostly for the high schoolers too but even then the writers chose the messiest plot lines I swear. also the anti-abortion propaganda was going full force. LAP is cute, ngl I was getting a little annoyed at everyone being as*es to taeyang tho and the continuous circling around the big “secret” but at least this week we got some progression in the right direction! MISS CROW AND MR LIZRAD!! Ugh I loved the otp there sm (the ending was annoyingly rushed tho 😔 but other than that! loved them) I’ve been in the mood for crime/investigation dramas recently so that’s what I’ve been watching most recently. Congrats on finishing your semester and I hope you get to spend a really fun a relaxing summer vacation! You deserve it ^^