#if you need to solve a murder just get your local murder expert

[balis77]

Dante: *On the radio* "<I don't know, I'm not really sure about who Vergilius chose to come with me.>"

Gregor: "Manager bud... you have Ryoshu."

Sinclair: "Yeah, that should be enough."

Dante: "<Really? I mean, she's not usually the analytical type...>"

Ishmael: "Dante, what is the one thing she is analytical about?"

Ryoshu, in the background: "Looks like he was strangled with a long length of cord, slowly over the course of several minutes. A decent amount of struggle, meaning middling body strength considering his build. Little blood, but I can see his body is looking drained, so there must've been a cleanup afterwards. Wasteful, in my opinion. L.A.S.S."

Dante: "<...Oh yeah. Murder. I forgot how much she likes murder.>"

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

I Think He Knows | Spencer Reid

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: JJ invites her best friend, a linguistics professor, to help out on a couple of cases. When she and Spencer work together, something sparks between them.

Warnings: Your usual Criminal Minds murders and gore, inappropriate thoughts and conversations about coworkers, making out, plot holes (read author's note),

Author's note: I know Season 4, Episode 12 is without JJ, but let's pretend JJ is there anyway and Jordan has never been there, okay? Okay. Thank yew.

Words: 4.3K

“I think he knows.” 

JJ’s brows furrowed as she looked at her best friend, back pressed against the shut door of her office. It took her one look at the wide-eyed, worry-filled girl to know just what the hell she was even talking about. 

Everything had started when JJ introduced her to the team. 

JJ and y/n had been childhood best friends and kept in contact, even when both of them moved away from Pennsylvania. While JJ moved to Washington DC to join the FBI, y/n was making her career as a linguistics professor in New York City. So, when they needed a linguistic expert, y/n was the first one JJ called for her expertise. 

“Thank you so much for coming,” JJ said as she embraced her oldest friend. 

A smile resided on her face. “Of course, Jayj. Anything for you.”

“Come, meet the team!” 

JJ grabbed y/n’s hand and dragged her towards the bullpen. Everyone seemed to be gathered around one particular desk, hunched over a case file. 

“Guys, I want you to meet y/n, she’s gonna help us with linguistics,” JJ said, capturing everyone’s attention. “y/n/n, these are Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Penelope Garcia and Spencer Reid.” She introduced them, pointing at each member of the team as their name was called. 

Y/N simply offered all of them an awkward wave, suddenly self-conscious about the attention she was getting. “Luckily, I’m good with names,” she chuckled, which made the others laugh too. 

The eight of them filed into the briefing room where JJ explained the case to everyone. Luckily – if you could use that word in this field – it was a local case, meaning y/n could stay with JJ for the time being. The two women were actually quite excited about that. 

This one seemed to be a pretty open-and-shut case. An abduction of a politician's daughter with a ransom note that led the team straight to the Unsub. Spencer and y/n worked on the note together, both of them quickly noticing some outstanding quirks of the guy’s personality. 

“First and foremost, I can tell you that the guy you’re looking for is actually a guy,” y/n started explaining to the team when they had regrouped. “He uses a lot of articles, prepositions and big words. So, we are looking in the right direction.” 

Spencer nodded his head in agreement. “He’s also very precise in his choice of words, so he’s most likely an introvert. He tells us exactly where to be and at what time, something an extrovert wouldn’t do.” 

“He’s also using ‘I’ and ‘mine’, which further proves the introverted side of this UnSub. Normally, higher rates of ‘I’ words correspond with feelings of insecurity, threat and defensiveness. Closer inspection of his ‘I’ use in context tends to confirm this,” y/n continued, seamlessly flowing with Spencer in their debrief. 

“Not only that, but the number of words such as ‘except’, ‘but’, and ‘however’ changed. These are all ways to encourage dialogue or thinking and indicate higher cognitive processes. They also signify a willingness to tell the truth,” said Spencer. 

The two of them glanced at each other and offered a smile before turning to the rest of the team, who were looking at them as though they had just witnessed a talking dog. 

“It’s like they’re copy-pasted,” Emily muttered. 

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up and when she looked over at her partner-in-solving-linguistics-psyche, his cheeks had a dust of rouge. Before either of them could add anything else, Hotch nodded his head before scraping his chair back. 

“We’re ready to give a profile. Let’s head down to the Metropolitan Police Department,” he ordered and everyone quickly followed. Even y/n. With the research she and Spencer had done, they were their best options to go over the profile with the detectives. 

It felt great to be doing such important work, especially when her analysis helped catch the guy in the end. Even better when JJ had asked her to come back on another case, needing her language expertise again. 

Every time, she and Spencer worked closely together to try and analyze any sort of text that had been brought up during the case. Whether it was newspaper ads, ransom notes or blog posts. Nothing was too hard for the duo. 

The fifth time they asked her, it was a bit more of a difficult case. 

When she had walked into the BAU that morning of the fifth case, her breath had hitched in her throat. She couldn’t deny that she found the young doctor very attractive, but there was something about him that morning with his hair slicked back and the patterned button-down and his perpetually crooked tie. 

“Morning,” Spencer greeted with a beautiful smile that had her knees buckle. 

She grimaced, trying to keep herself composed, but it was proving to be a lot more difficult that day. “Good morning,” she greeted back. Her brain decided she needed him to feel the same way she did. “You look good this morning, Doc.” 

When the resident genius blushed furiously, she knew she had succeeded. He awkwardly coughed whilst his lips quirked up into a shy smile. “Th-thank you, y/n. So–so do you.” 

“Thanks.” Her eyes stayed glued on his, something unspoken passing between the two when the rest of the team entered the bullpen. 

JJ, being y/n’s best friend, immediately caught onto what was happening between the two. But, with the task at hand, she decided not to say anything. Yet.

Though y/n knew that she knew.

JJ always knew. 

For this case, the team flew to Sarasota in Florida and y/n was allowed to come along. Once everyone was briefed about the case, they all piled onto the jet where y/n took her trusty spot next to JJ. While she was reading over the case file again, she couldn’t help but sneak glances at Spencer, who was sitting on the other side of the plane. 

Sometimes, their gazes would meet and they’d turn away quickly, like two teenagers who were crushing on one another. 

“Okay, what’s going on between you two?” JJ asked softly, not wanting the coworker in question to hear her. 

Y/N furrowed her brows, barely taking her eyes off the file, even though they involuntarily flitted back towards the youngest on the team. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jayj.” 

“You and Spence. You can’t lie to me, y/n/n. You’re acting the exact same way  you did when you had that crush on Landon during our senior year.” 

A soft gasp left y/n’s mouth. “I forgot about Landon,” she whispered, giggling at the memory of her constant gushing over the boy. It took her a good four months of swooning over him before he finally asked her out. 

JJ’s eyebrows rose in question, impatiently so. 

“Okay, I’m not gonna lie that I find him attractive,” y/n admitted, but it wasn’t enough for her best friend. “Fine,” she grumbled, then sighed, admitting defeat. “I–” but before she got go off on a tirade, Penelope appeared on the laptop screen, wanting to let them know what she had found. 

“This is not over,” JJ warned as the team descended the jet afterwards. 

The Sarasota Police Department had a suspect in custody, but not enough evidence to keep him for more than forty-eight hours, so they were on a clock. The team worked tirelessly, trying to piece together the evidence. While the others went to the crime scenes, the suspect’s house or the ME, Garcia had found a blog post on the guy’s computer, which Spencer and y/n were now decoding together.

“Look,” y/n said, pointing to a paragraph on the printed copy of the blog post. “He switches between the words ‘soda’ and ‘pop’.” 

His shoulder brushed against hers as he leaned over to look at the paper she was pointing at. The feeling of his body being so close to hers caused her to heat up from the inside out. Her bodily reaction told her she wanted more of him. She wanted him to be this close at all times. 

“This is not just one person,” he mumbled, then pointed to another paragraph. “Not one person ever uses dashes and ellipses in the same text, right?” 

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “Ellipses and dashes are not interchangeable, but the misuse of either and both is common. A dash is a highlighter. An ellipsis takes the place of missing words. Not one person ever uses both in texts.” 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Morgan’s voice interrupted them, even startling y/n a little. 

She had been too wrapped up in her own world, she hadn’t even noticed Morgan and Rossi walking in with the Sheriff by their side. 

“You found anything?” asked Rossi, unable to hide the smirk underneath his mustache. 

Spencer nodded his head before taking a step back from y/n. “Garcia’s been digging through William’s computer. She found an encrypted link to a web page.” 

“Where’d it take you?” Derek questioned. 

Y/N put the lid back on her red Sharpie before sticking it in her ponytail, wedging it between the hairband and the crown of her head. “An unsearchable, untraceable blog with tons of journal entries. It’s like some sort of diary.” 

“You find anything incriminating?” Rossi asked. 

“We were able to differentiate between two distinct voices. Two authors,” Spencer started explaining and y/n couldn’t but gawk at him, intrigued by what he was saying even though she already knew. “We found various idiosyncratic words, phrases, punctuation and orthography within the blog entries, consistent with each separate person.”

“Words like “soda” and “pop”,” y/n added. 

Nodding, Spencer added with a smile, “One guy uses dashes while the other uses ellipses.” The giggle at the end of his sentence made y/n’s stomach flutter. 

Spencer being so interested in the English language had to have been the cutest thing she had ever seen. It made her heart skip a beat and her spine tingle all the way to her toes. “That was hot,” she muttered, her eyes widening upon realizing the words didn’t stay in her mind. 

Luckily, Spencer had already returned to the board and Rossi was too busy talking to the Sheriff to have heard it. The only person, much to y/n’s dismay, that did hear it, was Derek Morgan. With that devilish smirk of his plastered on his face he was looking down at her. 

She coughed and turned back to the rest of the team. “One side of the discourse made reference to the “devil’s strip”,” she explained before Derek could start his relentless teasing. 

“What the hell’s that?” asked the Sheriff. 

At that moment, Spencer turned around again, not realizing y/n had moved and nearly bumped into her. Instead of stepping back, though, he remained in his spot with his chest pressed against her back. It sent yet another shiver down her spine, which required y/n to breathe in deep before she lost control and jumped his bones then and there. 

“It’s a small patch of grass that separates the sidewalk from the street. Now, that term is only used in central Ohio. William lived in Atlanta for twenty years, but he grew up in Columbus,” Spencer explained. 

In agreement, y/n hummed. “The other guy uses words like “turnpike” and “filling the gas tank”, both specific regionalisms for Florida,” she continued just as one of the deputies passed by with William in handcuffs. 

Derek looked back at the suspect before turning to the linguistics duo. “Kid, you sure about this?” he asked Spencer, which merely earned him a slight tilt of the head and a deadpanned glare that said ‘seriously?’.

Of course Spencer and y/n were sure about this and Derek knew better than to doubt that. 

While Morgan and Rossi went to question William about what they found, Spencer and y/n continued working on the blog. After a good hour, y/n decided to go and get them both some coffee, needing the pick-me-up to keep herself going. 

“Here,” she muttered, handing the cup to him. “With three spoonfuls of sugar.” She then pouted, “They didn’t have almond milk.” 

Spencer chuckled before reaching in his satchel and handing her a carton of almond milk. Surprised, y/n added a cloud of the milk into her coffee, ignoring how her heart was soaring. 

She smiled a thankful smile and took a sip of the hot beverage as the two of them turned back to the splayed out blog posts on the board in front of them.

“Wait,” he then mumbled with his brows furrowed. “Where’s the–” he stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on the item he was looking for. 

Gazing up at him, y/n’s heart quickened when he reached for her head and fished the red Sharpie out of her hair. “Right, sorry,” she whispered, nearly swooning at the soft smile on his face. 

She watched as Spencer started adding lines and annotating a paragraph of the blog post. As she followed what he was doing, her brain started to form theories and analytics. “Faith should never be broken,” she read aloud, then wiggled her nose in thought. “The longer they got away with it, the stronger their relationship,” she pointed out. 

Within the next few hours, Derek came to check on the two of them, wanting to know if they had gotten any further into finding out who William’s partner was. Then, later, the whole team had gathered again to brief one another on their findings. 

“Connie Mayers described an Anger Excitation Rapist, just like William,” Emily told them. 

“So, we’re looking at two dominant personalities?” asked Derek. 

 Y/N nodded her head as the words registered in her brain. “That makes sense,” she said. “They have a similar discourse.” Spencer nodded his head as well, agreeingly. 

“They’re equally well-written,” he added. 

“That’s a big deal?” the Sheriff wanted to know. 

Spencer’s eyes skidded from the Sheriff to y/n and back as he said, “It’s rare in criminal partnerships.” 

“If their personalities are the same, their lives probably mirror one another’s as well,” Emily clarified. 

As the Sheriff spoke, y/n went to sit on the desk in front of Spencer, needing to give her feet a rest. “Harris goes to church, on the board of the PTA, coaches his daughter’s soccer team, rarely drinks.” 

“Sounds like a saint,” JJ commented with a roll of her eyes. 

“With a dark side,” Hotch offered. “It’s what he connected to in the partner.” He then nodded to Emily. “Prentiss and I will go talk to the family, see if they know who it might be.” Hotch and Emily exited the precinct, leaving the rest of the team to their own projects. 

Derek sighed as he moved closer towards the board. “Two alpha males won’t be easy to break,” he pointed out. 

“The partner is definitely following the investigation,” JJ added with a determined nod. 

“Let’s do the talking for them,” Rossi suggested. 

“You want me to put this out in the public?” asked the blonde. 

Rossi held up the bundle of papers that contained the blog posts. “We’ve got something better.” 

“Why would he read it?” the Sheriff wanted to know. “He knows William won’t be writing.” 

“These men are addicted to each other,” Derek argued. “Right now, he needs a fix, and the words they’ve shared are all he has to cling to.” 

Y/N climbed off the desk again as an idea popped into her head. “His partner wrote “Faith should never be broken”. A betrayal could devastate him.” 

“All we have to say is that William’s cooperating, and then hope he takes the bait,” Derek said. 

Nodding their heads in agreement, Spencer and y/n gathered in front of the laptop. “You should do the typing,” he said. “You’re probably our best shot at tricking him.” 

With a smile, y/n took a seat. “Why, thank you, gentleman,” she cooed, earning those flustered rosy cheeks from him. Together, the two of them came up with a pretty convincing blog post that would get the UnSub to reach out. 

“What do we got so far?” Derek asked. 

“We were surprised that you injected yourself into the investigation. You risked a lot in order to help William.” Y/N and Spencer read it aloud at the same time, their voices mixing together smoothly like a perfect harmony in a song. 

Deciding not to comment on how blatantly obvious the two had been, Derek turned back to the task at hand. “And killing Missy tells us how close you really are.” Y/N quickly typed it up into the computer. “It must be devastating to learn that William is here with us.” 

“He’s not gonna like that, it sounds like William is cooperating,” Spencer mumbled as he placed one hand on the desk, the other on the back of y/n’s chair to lean in closer to read the words on screen. 

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as she felt his breath fan against her cheek. “Well,” she coughed to try and keep her composure. “That’s exactly what we want him to believe, so he’ll doubt their alliance.” 

Once the blog post was sent, all the team could do was wait for the partner’s response. While they did that, Morgan, Spencer and y/n continued working to try and find something else, just in case their first plan fell through. 

It took them a while. A lot of back and forth between Morgan and William, a lot of trying to decipher the blog posts. But in the end, the entire team managed to find William’s partner and save Andrea from her neighbor’s claws. Once they had both of them arrested, the BAU could finally breathe again. 

Spencer and y/n were cleaning up the mess they had made with analyzing the blog entries. The both of them kept to themselves in silence, trying to calm their overheated brains. Out of the five cases she assisted on, this one had to have been the hardest. 

As y/n absentmindedly reached for a pile of paper, Spencer did the same, causing their hands to bump. “Oh,” y/n giggled, a chuckle rolling off Spencer's lips as well. “Sorry,” they both apologized before he retracted his hand, allowing her to grab the pile. 

“I, uh, I enjoyed working with you – a-again,” he stammered nervously. 

A smile curved her lips. “As did I with you, Spence.” 

The smile he gave her made her knees buckle. Anything this man did would make her weak. She had all these feelings bubbling up inside her the second she merely looked at him and it was driving her absolutely nuts. 

But there was nothing she could do about it. After this case, she’d be going back to New York City without even knowing when she’d be seeing the Behavioral Analysis Unit again. For all she knew, she was never going to see Dr. Spencer Reid again. 

“Penelope?” y/n knocked on the tech’s door when she was back at Quantico. There was a file she needed to grab to complete her after-action report Hotch made her write. She was part of the team for that case after all. 

“Come in, girly pop!” Penelope exclaimed as she opened the door, her ever-chirpy attitude beaming off the walls as soon as she appeared in front of her. “I’ve got the file right here…” she trailed off whilst walking over to her desk to retrieve said file. When y/n reached for the manila folder, the blonde held it just out of reach. 

“Pen–”

“First, you gotta tell me what’s going on between you and Reid,” she almost sounded threatening. As soon as y/n opened her mouth to lie, Penelope cut her off. “And don’t lie to me!” 

She could feel her heart overflowing, needing to spill her deepest, darkest thoughts she had been locking inside. With a sigh, y/n plopped down on Garcia’s chair. Sensing the upcoming spilling-of-beans, Penelope perked herself on the corner of her desk. 

“He’s got my heart… skipping down sixteenth Avenue,” she started, earning a gasp from the blonde. “H-he’s got that…” she moaned out a sound that had to resemble how she was feeling, “I mean… I just wanna see what’s under all that intelligence, you know?” 

“Y/N! You dirty dog!” Penelope giggled, hitting the girl in front of her with the manila folder. 

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh too, but then sighed. “But there’s nothing going to happen there. I’ll be off to New York later tonight and then who knows when I’ll see all of you again. It’s better that nothing happened.” She shrugged and got up from the chair, grabbing the file from Penelope’s hands. 

As Penelope protested, y/n turned around towards the door, only halting with widening eyes when she saw who was standing in the doorway. Her mind raised, trying to think of what he could’ve heard and debating whether or not he had heard it. Before she could embarrass herself even more, she quickly bid her goodbyes and sneaked past him, rushing towards JJ’s office. 

She hid inside, shutting the door behind her before leaning her back against it. Her eyes were still widened as they landed on JJ in a panic. “I think he knows,” she told her best friend. 

“What do you mean?” JJ asked, chuckling, dropping the file she was working on. 

Y/N took a seat in one of the chairs in front of JJ’s desk. “I was talking to Penelope about how–” she sighed. “About how I wanted to see what was under that intelligence…” 

“Y/N!” JJ scolded, though her lips curled up in a bemused smirk. 

“Worst of all is, when I got up to leave, he was standing in the doorway…” 

JJ’s jaw dropped. “Do you think he heard?” 

“I don’t know! I was too embarrassed to stay and ask, I just left!” Her voice came out squeaky from embarrassment alone. She didn’t quite know what to do with herself. She was hoping her best friend would know what to do. 

“I think you should go talk to him,” JJ suggested the one thing she didn’t want to do. 

Shaking her head, y/n protested. “Nuh-uh, Jayj, I’m leaving for New York tonight. Who knows if I’ll ever see him again!” 

“I do,” JJ told her. “You’re my best friend, I might hope you come and visit me often,” she joked and y/n did laugh, but it was a half-hearted one. The dilemma seemed to be eating her alive. “Go talk to him.” The order was so sweet, yet stern enough that y/n obeyed and exited the office. 

In the breakroom, she found the one she was looking for. He was making himself a cup of tea to keep him awake enough to finish his report. As he blew on the hot beverage, he glanced over the mug towards y/n, shooting a bolt of lightning through her heart with the intensity of his gaze. 

“Hi,” she greeted awkwardly. 

Spencer offered her a smile. “Hi.” 

“You, uh…” Her brain almost short-circuited, not knowing what to say. “You wanna get out of here? Go for a walk to clear our heads before continuing on our reports?” She needed the fresh air. Maybe that would clear the fog that clouded her judgment. 

“Sure,” he agreed and set his mug down before following after her. 

As soon as they stepped outside, Spencer turned to y/n. “I heard you, by the way–” Her eyes shut tight. “I-I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I just needed to ask Penelope about something and then I heard you and–” 

“It’s fine, Spence. I-I shouldn’t have–” She cut herself short, noticing the look on Spencer’s face. His eyes sparkled in the dim streetlight, his smile almost lyrical. “What?” 

He shook his head with a giggle. “I’ve had a crush on you ever since we were going back-and-forth about that first ransom note.” 

Y/N’s heart was nearly beating out of her chest at his confession. This had to be a dream. 

“And when I noticed how flustered you were when Emily insisted we were copy-pasted, I was a goner. It sounds so weird, but I’ve never met someone who met my level of intelligence.”

“Barely,” y/n scoffed, but Spencer either ignored her quip or he didn’t hear it. 

“I love how your eyes light up whenever you deduct how someone’s been using ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ or when the intent of the sentence dawns on you. I love how you stick your pens in your ponytail when you don’t have your hands free and how you wiggle your nose when you’re thinking. I love how you know my coffee order and how you’d get upset when no one has almond milk for yours.” 

She was absolutely soaring. Her heart was skipping, her eyes nearly tearing up at the sweetest of words rolling off his lips.

Before he could add anything that would send her into hysterical sobbing, she leaned in and kissed his lips sweetly. It was a quick kiss, more like a peck. Just to gauge his reaction. When his hands came up to cup her face, a soft smile landed on her lips before he kissed it away. 

This time around, it was deep and passionate; like he had been waiting to do this for the past five weeks, the same way she had been waiting to do this. She reeled at the feeling of his warm tongue slipping past her tingling lips. 

All of it reminded her of being seventeen again, no one understanding what she was feeling. 

But he understood. 

He knew. 

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty @littlemissaddict @n0wornever @wanniiieeee @unnowhatthisistbh

Criminal Minds Taglist: 

@boimlers-gonna-boim @samsbirks @tinaasthings @dysphoricsanity @love4lando @elenamoncada-ibarra @r-3dlips @magstheslayer @astess 

[readitreviewit]

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[tonkimaple]

Eye of the beholder consignment

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[rarepears]

Ask game, title: Just another ordinary day (I lie to myself)

If Obi Wan was assigned a mission to go undercover - even if the orders came from Palpatine, there had to be enough justification to have Obi Wan, of all people, to take it instead of some Jedi Shadow - then Obi Wan should either 1) have experience going undercover for long periods of time or 2) a proven track record of being a good actor.

Options 2 is far more fun to play around with.

Obi Wan won a couple Oscar equivalent roles for his acting. He didn't exactly chose to do act, but he and his master were stranded on a planet and their usual method of making cash (betting and card games) weren't available because gambling was not just illegal but thoroughly enforced by the local police force. And modeling was out of the question because fashion brands don't exactly really like the Pawadan haircut, but there was this local holofilm production that was filming a movie about the Jedi Order and oh look! We got some Jedi experts AND Obi Wan has volunteered to act in one of the main roles - which will save the holofilm production crew a lot of money on special effects!

So that was the start of Obi Wan's filming career.

And when your acting career starts blossoming enough... you wouldn't be surprised at how much easier it is to get into places that are pretty much always off limits; fans sure are more than happy to help break rules for you.

Naturally Obi Wan does all of this with a stage name, but still.

And maybe he enjoys acting a little more than he lets on considering how he volunteers to act in student director's films every now and then.

(And surprisingly a couple of them went on to win big awards. And by "them" I mean both the director and the student film project.)

Anyways, so his big acting career might be the reason why Obi Wan keeps pushing Anakin to star in more propaganda films instead. He doesn't need his (rapid) fans catching onto the fact that the big name actor Ben K. is actually a Jedi or one of the top generals in this war.

But unfortunately for Obi Wan, there's a conspiracy theory that's quickly gathering steam connecting the two...

And that theory explodes when Obi Wan's death just so happens to line up with a leaked BTS holovid showing Obi Wan in a holofilm crew solving a murder case for the police in his capacity of Jedi Knight while also clearly in costume and makeup for the film...

Dex is naturally Obi Wan's agent who negotiates all the contracts.

[More in #the many ways to make obiwan's rako hardeen episode 100X harder au]

[check out other fic ideas in the #made up fic title ask game]

[ragsy]

Please tell me who Puppykicker McGee is

The Tale of Puppykicker McGee is a saga involving bad choices, bad rolls, amputation(s), cannibalism, puppy kicking, and what happens when tabletop RPG players learn that their actions have consequences. Content warning for… all of the things I just listed.

THAT SAID. First, some context.

I run a Monster of the Week game for some friends of mine, set in modern day UP Michigan. For those unfamiliar with MOTW, players work together to hunt monsters, solve mysteries, and uncover conspiracies by means of roleplay and dice rolling. The main difference between MOTW (or other games on the Powered by the Apocalypse TTRPG engine) and D&D is that D&D operates on a binary success system. You roll the die and you either hit the monster or you don't. It's a yes or a no.

MOTW, however, has three possible outcomes for every dice roll: Success, mixed success, and failure. When a roll is successful, your action happens as intended. When you roll a failure, your action not only doesn't work out for you, but it more often than not completely backfires in your face. If you roll to wrestle the monster and you fail, it kicks YOUR ass instead.

But the mixed success…? OOoooohoHOHOhhohoh, the mixed success is what makes me rub my little gamer hands together like an excited raccoon!! The player's action still happens as intended, but there's always a tradeoff. They might have to make a hard choice, or the effect isn't as strong as they needed it to be, or maybe someone else gets caught in the crossfire. It turns a hard "no" into a "no, but" or a "yes, and" and it makes me SO excited.

So you can imagine my joy when player character Madame Irena, Local Psychic (from the Spooky playbook) got a mixed success on her magic roll to lift a 40ft wide concrete slab over her head. The spell didn't last as long as she needed it to, and she lost her grip on the slab. I had her roll to dodge out of the way as it fell. Mixed success again. She gets most of her body out of the way, but the slab lands on her foot and just COMPLETELY obliterates it.

One thing leads to another, she gets rushed to the hospital and has her foot amputated. She's incapacitated for days, but after a daring hospital breakout involving a wheelchair, a Siberian husky, and the world's most put-upon medical intern, she decides she wants to use magic to grow herself a new foot. But that kind of magic in MOTW always has a cost, and it always has risks. For this particular spell, she's gonna need to transmute herself a new foot out of something else's flesh. But let's put a pin in that for a second.

Let's go on a side tangent about the Dogman. This is not Puppykicker McGee, but we ARE getting there, I promise.

So anyway. Player character Tatara (from the Wronged playbook) has been on a revenge quest to kill the Dogman, who is a human vessel possessed by an evil spirit that turns the vessel into a murderous, rage-fueled, man-eating dogmonster whenever they get overwhelmed by strong negative emotions. The Dogman can only transform back into their human form after eating freshly killed human flesh. It also turns out that the current vessel was an NPC on her monster hunting team the whole time! His name is Mark. He did not know he was the Dogman until very recently.

So Tatara, Mark, and player character Pip (from the Crooked playbook) just got back from a harrowing trip through the Backrooms and are all extremely high strung. This is very shortly after Irena went to the hospital.

One thing leads to another, the group gets into an argument, and Mark begins to get angry. Tatara, being the Dogman expert, sees the potential danger and decides to take preventative matters into her own hands. By which I mean a baseball bat to the side of Mark's head.

Dice roll. Failure! Uh oh!!!

Mark catches the bat, turns into the Dogman, and the Dogman goes fucking berserk. Player character Art (from the Monstrous playbook) manages to restrain and contain the Dogman in somebody's basement, but now the party has a problem: they need to turn Dogman back into Mark, but that requires feeding somebody to the Dogman. It also happens that Irena wants to use part of that somebody's body to transmute their flesh into a new foot for herself. The party has ruled out stealing a corpse from the morgue, so in a unanimous decision that would make my freshman ethics professor shit himself, they decide to find the worst person in town and kill him.

Enter: Puppykicker McGee.

Now, anyone who's ever run a TTRPG game knows that sometimes players will get murder in their hearts and there's nothing you can do about it. You can play up the morality angle, you can dangle a treat over their head to guide them elsewhere, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes you just have to play along and invent a guy from scratch who nobody will feel bad about feeding to the Dogman.

Puppykicker McGee hangs outside the local dive bar, harassing customers and kicking puppies. His legal name is actually Puppykicker McGee, but he picked up the puppy kicking thing separately. This is where his character complexity ends. The monster hunting party (minus Irena and Mark) jumps him in an alleyway and knocks him out in the first fully successful rolls in AGES.

But here's the thing: They get cold feet. They decide they don't actually want to kill him, they just want his leg.

At this point, I am NOT prepared to have this guy be a part of the continuing canon of this game. Puppykicker McGee was built to be disposable and I WILL dispose of him. I say yes, that's fine, they can have his leg, but they have to leave the rest of him with the one person they know who will remove the leg for them, and that person is shady as fuck.

Somehow, they're suspicious of this. This group of people who were super duper chill with homicide a few minutes ago are now a little worried of leaving Puppykicker behind with a woman who has a collection of human souls. I tell them tough nuggets, you made your decision. They say "yeah sure that's probably fine actually" and leave with a plastic garbage bag full of Human Leg Meat.

They go back home, feed the thigh to Dogman, and use everything else below the knee to transmute Irena a new foot. Irena is still a little nervous about doing magic since the last time she did it was the whole reason she lost her foot. She's worried that if she fails, she's going to have to just graft the foot onto her own leg. This leads to the single greatest sentence I've ever heard out of context in my life:

"Hey, quick question, how big are Puppykicker McGee's feet?"

[wingletblackbird]

Hi. I've been a long time fan of your meta posts. I've been wondering from a purely legally perspective if, as a senator, Padme had the authority to pardon Anakin following his confession in AotC?

Thanks for the compliment!

I'm pretty sure Padme does not have the authority to forgive Anakin's actions on Tatooine from a legal perspective. This isn't just because she is a senator though, and I don't think senators unilaterally have that authority. Even if she did have that kind of authority, and had it on a planet not in the Chommell Sector, she would lack jurisdiction on two counts.

The first is that Tatooine is really only nominally a part of the Republic. It is ruled by the Hutts. Padme has no authority here whatsoever. On top of that, there is no local law enforcement on Tatooine. There are Jabba's enforcers, and your blaster. There is no real law at all. This is the Wild West at it's worst. That is why when Shmi is kidnapped, Cliegg gathers up his farming buddies, and they go after the Tuskens. They can't call in the police, or the military, or any one else to do it. It's a harsh world, and it is just them to do what is necessary. That is why, from a Tatooinian legal perspective, Anakin has not violated the law. On Tatooine justice=vengeance. It is hard to break the law when there isn't one. Sure people will think what he did was excessive, but everyone hates the Tuskens, (you could even call it speciesism), so no one will do anything about it.

The second reason Padme has no say is because Anakin is a Jedi. The Jedi, as seen in Ahsoka's trial, handle all legal matters concerning violations by the Jedi, if not all Force-Sensitives. Now, this system does have room for abuse. However, there is good reason for this system to exist. Force-sensitive beings can choke you from afar, mind trick you etc. The Jedi are the only ones who can ensure a sound judgement, and/or minimal chance of an escaped convict.

Not only do the Jedi need to be in charge in this case for security, they are also the only one's who can truly appreciate how difficult the Force is to handle. What I mean by this is that there is a difference between falling to the Dark Side, and brushing against the Dark. The former is a choice you can be condemned for, the latter is more like manslaughter. Think in ANH when Obi-Wan tells Luke, essentially, that the Force can also control you. You need to be careful how you draw upon the Force. What might be murder for a non-Forceful, could be manslaughter for Forceful if they are overwhelmed by a Force they cannot control, but controls them.

Taking all of this into context then. When Anakin finds his mother, he is grief-stricken, guilt-stricken, furious, horrified, terrified etc. He decides someone needs to die for this, and fair enough. His mother has been tortured to death over several weeks. He gets out his lightsaber and kills the guards. After that, Tuskens come running up to him, he swings his lightsaber. Fade to black. The fade to black symbolizes his brush with the Dark Side. Anakin intended to kill the guards. This is not against the law. This is justice on Tatooine. However, Anakin is also Force-sensitive, and extremely off-balance. He draws on the Force wrong, gets overwhelmed by the Force, and more and more Tuskens, and next thing you know, he's gone and killed the whole village. This was not intentional at all. (As an aside, I think drawing on the Light Side the wrong way can be just as bad, even if not as obviously destructive, but that is a meta for another day.)

Anakin is shocked, horrified, sickened. We can see him struggle to come to terms with it when Padme comes to find him. When he was using the Dark Side he was on a high of power, all the justifications whispered in his head he remembers, now he's awake and trying to cope with what he has done, and why, and how it felt. He has no clue how to handle this. He is a trainwreck. Now, if he'd been bragging about it, I think Padme would have noped out and reported him. He wasn't though. He felt bad. He should be better than this. She forgives him. This is not on a legal level, just a personal one. Padme's gift and flaw is that she always looks for the best in people. Anakin has committed no wrong on Tatooine, and the other wrongs are a Jedi matter she has nothing to do with. In the same way she likely assumed the Jedi would handle Shmi, she thought Anakin would go to the Jedi. Then the war broke out, and there were other things to worry about.

As for Anakin, he was horrified about what he did, and knew he would have to tell someone. He was scared to tell Obi-Wan/the Jedi though. He had never quite fit in. He didn't want to let them down. He didn't expect them to understand how losing his mother affected them. How could they? What should he do? So, he goes to Palpatine first for advice. Palpatine will tell him what he should do. Had Palpatine been a decent man, he would have been sympathetic, but still would have told Anakin that this was beyond his area, and Anakin clearly needs the Jedi's help. Anakin would have gone to the Jedi. Palpatine is not a good man though, and wants Anakin to feel miserable and dark and dependent only on him, so he isolates Anakin further. Of course, the Jedi would never understand, my dear boy. And, besides, it's not like what you did was really all that bad, right? After all, they killed your mother. All water under the bridge! Anakin may not believe this, but it is permission for him to not face his fears, so he doesn't. He vows to do better, and leaves it at that. If Padme brings it up, he tells her he got help. He legitimately thinks he did. Even if he mentioned it was Palpatine he went to, at this point in time, Palpatine is an old friend/mentor of Padme's. She trusts him too. Problem solved.

Now, had Anakin (or Padme) actually told the Jedi what happened. I do not think they would have risked expelling Anakin outright. First of all, they could not have condemned the murder of the Tusken guards, as that could be considered justice under Tatoonian law. However, the rest is manslaughter, arguably even involuntary manslaughter. (Anakin definitely would not have killed kids at this point in time intentionally. He could barely do it even when he chose to fall.) Given Anakin's remorse, he is not beyond hope, and they do not want to expel a man who still could be a danger to himself and others, (and they want to keep track of “The Chosen One”), so he is punished and offered extra meditative training.

I think generally 1-5 years is the typical penalty for involuntary manslaughter? Up to a maximum of 8-10? I don't know. I'm no expert, but I reckon it is pretty similar for Jedi. I imagine the council would suspend him from all further duties, place him in confinement for a year for meditation, counselling, therapy is that too much to ask for?, after that, they would let him out for remedial training under a watchful eye. If improvement was seen, he would eventually be allowed to return to active duty. His knighthood would be put off for quite some time. Alas, this does not happen.

Even if it had though, I don't picture Anakin ever being knighted. Honestly, the increased supervision would have also meant he couldn't see Palpatine or Padme. I think the latter would be the breaking point. Anakin would insist on seeing her and he would get expelled. He would still be expected to do his time, of course, but after that he would leave and never look back.

[sigmaleph]

The persistence of torture to get confessions is weird to me. Did they really not understand that people are willing to do or any things under threat? Did they assume mugging victims wanted to hand over their money and the dagger to their throat was an afterthought? And if they did realize this, why not simply lie about them confessing or go “They’re just so obviously guilty we don’t even need evidence!!”

(necessary disclaimer: i'm not an expert on this or indeed anything, this is my opinion mixed with things other more qualified people have said and that might be wrong or i might be misremembering)

So, here's a basic problem that every criminal justice system is faced with:

Sometimes people do things against the law, and it is your job to find out who did the thing and punish them. But knowing who did something can be very hard. Sometimes people say they saw them do it, but they could be lying or mistaken. Sometimes you have physical evidence, but this is not guaranteed to be reliable and we fuck it up even today with all our Science. So, sometimes something bad happened and you might have a guess at who did it (or not), but you're not really sure.

If you don't punish someone, your local community can get very angry, because you're not doing the thing that is nominally your job, and also they might decide they know who did it and they go punish them themselves.

If you do punish someone, you want it to be the right person. But... if you punish the wrong person, it's very hard to tell. Because for the same reason you don't know for certain who did it, nobody else knows for certain the guy you picked isn't it.

This means you end up in a situation where doing nothing is bad for you, and punishing someone who obviously didn't do it is also bad for you, but punishing someone who you can plausibly claim is guilty is good for you. And if you don't have someone you know did it, then your incentives are to pick your best candidate and make it look more certain that they are guilty.

And so you end up with a lot of, essentially, laundering methods. Ways to make it look more certain than you justifiably are that someone is guilty. Since, as established, determining actual guilt is very difficult, it's unlikely someone's gonna prove you wrong (it can happen, obviously, sometimes someone invents DNA evidence and people look back on past cases and discover a lot of false convictions). And then you end up with torture for confessions, and forensic bite mark analysis, and such things.

Now, there's a lot of caveats I can add here. At least sometimes, there were safeguards around e.g. not just having a naked confession of guilt but having the accused voice details that can be verified later like where they hid the murder weapon, make sure the confession is repeated when not under torture. People understood the basic problem that you can totally get people to confess to whatever if you torture them for long enough, and wanted to protect people against it. But those safeguards were insufficient or ignored, and innocent people got tortured and convicted, because the fundamental problem of the criminal justice system.

And of course this still happens today. Police routinely extract false confessions from suspects, and prosecutors do too via plea bargaining. I mentioned bite mark analysis in passing above, but bullshit "forensic science" disciplines abound. We have not solved the basic problem of the criminal justice system; society hires people to get convictions and they do exactly that, and if they can't convict the guilty they will convict the innocent.

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

ZOOted | group chatzy

TIMING: Midday, August 29, 2021. LOCATION: The Main Street of Downtown. SUMMARY: What’s black and white and silent all over? The creatures at the zoo make their grand escape. TRIGGERS: Brief vomit (marked in chatzy), animal death.

Anara Kingston was just getting ready to open up her family bistro for the day, hands propped on her hips as she admired the storefront that multiple generations had made thrive on the corner of Main Street in Downtown White Crest. There was your usual display of signage, an eye-catching banner that advertised a meatball sandwich special, and a small paper in the lower left corner of the front window that proudly read ‘127 days since last accident’. The notice was actually one of the larger draws of the establishment in a town such as White Crest, where oddities and danger seemed to lurk around every dark corner. People wanted to feel safe while they ate, munching on overpriced meals while they tarried the day away. Anara leaned forward to polish the glass in front of the advertisement of their sanctity, only to stiffen when she heard a foreign braying of...was that a donkey? No. She’d been around enough of the farms that peppered White Crest to know it wasn’t the sound of such a creature. 

A clopping of hooves was quick to follow the strange barking, and to the shop owner’s amazement, none other than a genuine zebra had begun to parade down Main Street, children and adults laughing and pointing alike as the escaped creature began to graze on the flowerbeds of a plant shop. 

Nell stared for a solid minute at the zebra that had waltzed down Main Street as if he owned the place, already trying to figure out whether this was some bullshit she was willing to deal with today, or if she should simply call Kaden at Animal Control and make this his problem. Unfortunately her decision was made for her as a swarm of pixies, seemingly also escaped from the zoo, buzzed after the zebra to tug at anything they could get their grimy little hands around. With a deep sigh, Nell made her way over to the swarm that was doing their best to scalp a woman by yanking at her hair. This was now officially a problem she needed to solve.

Sai huffed as he ran down the sidewalk after a black horned Scapegoat that had gleefully decided to aid some oddly silent goats on their break towards glorious freedom. “No Ibulba! They live in the zoo!”

Keys rattled as Metzli strode towards their gallery, deciding to walk through Main Street. Yuca was leashed and in tow, picking up her pace in excitement. She always loved walking about the gallery. All the pets and enrichment she could ask for, making for a very happy cat. That was until, a swarm of sprites zoomed past the two and made the vampire stumble and trip, dropping their umbrella. Yuca mewled terribly, angry and shocked by the sudden interruption. 

Metzli barely had enough time to react as they saw the swarm circling back around. Eyes widened and they reached for a door, any door to  swiftly let Yuca inside, but it was no use. The sun made their skin sting and bones ache, but getting their cat to safety was the top priority. Leaping into an alleyway, only a few of the sprites managed to find them and picked and prodded at their skin. “What the fuck!” They yelled, hoping they could catch someone’s attention as they wrapped their arms around Yuca. 

It had been drizzling on and off all day, leaving the pavement tiles slightly slicker than Chloe liked as she navigated her trolley along the road. Her mind was fractured in several place - thinking about the strange flower order she’d processed for a funeral this morning that for some reason wanted tree roots in the bouquet as well as flowers, about the grocery shop she’d just finished, and the painting of Lydia’s face that stuck with her. She didn’t notice the rumbling of animals at first, until something pig-sized, black, and white cantered past her. Chloe screamed, jumping back as she waved her umbrella at the mime-like creature, her eyes wide. After a second, her hand clutching her chest, Chloe realised it wasn’t another evil type of mime, but just a… an anteater? No, what were they called… The ones with the longer noses that looked a little like pie-bald pigs…. The word would come to her in a moment, but it didn’t look too threatening. 

Unfortunately, most things in White Crest didn’t. 

Bly had spent the morning in a coffee shop with Nas and overall it had been a really freaking good time. Nas had to meet up with his girlfriend so he had left them alone in the shop until they had finished their coffee. Leaving with the shop, overpacked backpack slung over their shoulder, they stopped short. Was there like a fair and they had missed the advertisements? It didn’t really seem like a fair, but White Crest was weird like that. “So, uh, is this like an event? I didn’t buy a ticket so I’m not sure if I’m allowed to be here?” They looked over to a person nearby, hands splayed out in front of them. “I don’t have cash on me either, so I can’t even buy a ticket!”

White Crest’s one and only white Bengal tiger prowled around, looking at all of the strange and new sights that one never gets to see from behind a cage. However, she only had one thing on her mind. Where, oh where, was that zebra?

Alcher didn’t often go into town, but something had piqued her interest today. She could smell the animals crowding the streets, free from their cells at the local zoo. It was something she knew would be fun to watch, if not join in on. Unfortunately, being a wolf in this commotion might end up with her being chased by the humans who thought animals belonged in cages as well, so it was in her human guise that she showed up downtown, arms folded as she watched. Someone spoke up nearby, and Alcher shrugged. An event, not that would be funny. A smile curled her lips. “I can not say, but I can say I am enjoying this, are you?”

Nell didn’t necessarily want to kill the sprites. After all, as far as murderous pint-sized things went, they were decently harmless for the most part. And perhaps she could relate with being so angry at a world while being so little. Not that she’d ever admit that. So instead of burning them to bits with some form of iron, she looked around for any sort of box, container, something to hold the creature within. Seeing the person struggling with their umbrella nearby she yelled out to them. “You got a box or something? A bag? Anything?”

Morgan couldn’t remember how she’d convinced herself that taking Sundew along her usual weekend walk/leisurely shopping trip would be relaxing. On their way, the smug pixie delighted in reading every sign, front page, and logo they passed. When Morgan said Sundew didn’t have to, she knew how smart she was, she seriously didn’t have to, the pixie only cackled and circled higher to see more things, and then spoke of her ambition to market something to humans as ‘natural and organic’ and fill it with cat droppings. And this was before Morgan went from giving Bex a look of apology one next and starting a zebra eyeball-to-eyeball the next.

If Morgan had ever learned anything useful about zebras, it vanished in that moment. All she could process were its stripes, its beady, wicked little black eyes, and the tension freezing her cold muscles. 

“That's a dummy looking horsey,” Sundew giggled. “It’s hair is almost as funny looking as yours!”

Morgan ached to take the pixie and squeeze her quiet, but it dawned on her, just in time, that there were a lot of people she recognized just beyond her (at least one she never wanted to see) and stare-down with a zebra was going to be the least of her concerns. 

“Sai!” Morgan called. “You’re proficient in animal handling, right??”

Things in White Crest had been pretty mild, all things considered, which to experts like Leah meant that mischief was right around the corner.  She had been thinking it all morning, and the thoughts continued to plague her as she sat for a quick lunch in the park.  No sooner had the thought crossed her mind again than she heard a rumbling close by- literally around the corner.  She stood up suddenly, confusion lacing her features, and walked toward Main street where she saw the contents of the zoo quite literally spilling out into town.  A couple of lemurs hung from a tree nearby and suddenly, a dalmatian soared past her, running in the direction of a pet supply shop.  Did the zoo hold dalmations now, too?

“Uhhh, I mean, I am trying to enjoy it but, like, there’s a tiger here now.” Bly said etched the animal began to look around looking like it was trying to find prey. “I’m pretty sure it would probably try to eat me if it had a chance. I don’t want to be eaten today?” There was a lemur somewhere nearby, Bly could hear it and they were starting to think this wasn’t an event. “Do you think we should like call the government or something?”

Sai ran up to one of the zoo employees that’d been rather nonchalantly pursuing the escaping animals, recognizing their striped uniform and panda hat. “I’m sorry… sir did you ..” he panted hands on his knees. “See which …way…the …goats..went?” 

The Quiet Panda Fan regarded Sai expressionlessly for a time. Eyes with strange white pupils and black irises, contacts no doubt, seemed to bore into some deep place inside of the wizard. The Panda Fan turned and walked into an alley out of sight. 

“Oh thanks!” Sai followed after, thinking Ibulba and the goat exodus had run into a dead end. He walked into the alley only to watch the Panda fan be torn apart by some unseen force, sinews, sin, and fuzzy panda kitsch unraveling into a haze of hair-thin black and white strands. The pale and dark flesh-ribbons swirled around Sai like a school of curious Koi fish before slithering onto the walls of the alley. Black and white murals of zebras, penguins, pandas danced beneath a picture of a black sun with white rays all over the alley walls. Above it all were the words “BENEATH THE LOATHSOME NOISE OF LIFE, BLESSED SILENCE WAITS.”

Sai swallowed as he stared, but thankfully Morgan's voice called out from somewhere on the street. “Uh…uh, yes! Yes I can help,” the wizard shouted, running aware from the black and white murals now adorning the alley bricks.

Forming into a ball to protect Yuca and their face, Metzli heard Nell call out her question. They answered in a frustrated huff, “Does it look like a have a fucking box?!” Swatting away with an arm they growled and hit several of the few sprites picking at them, even managing to grab one and bite its head off without a second thought. 

Somewhere, in the distance, screaming could be heard. A waddle of penguins had just stolen a man’s coffee.

“I think it’s cute,” Bex had said when Morgan insisted Sundew didn’t need to read every sign possible as they strolled downtown. She was like a toddler, learning to read for the first time, and eager to show off and prove to people how smart they were. Bex gave Sundew a smile, and a quiet wink when Morgan stopped and Bex nearly ran into her. In the street, a zebra trotted by, and for a moment, Bex wasn’t sure she was seeing things right. She rubbed her eyes, looked between the animal and Morgan, snapping to and realizing it was, in fact, real, when she called out to Sai. What was he doing here? Why was there a zebra downtown? But as she looked around, she noticed more animals roaming the streets and took off in a trot after Morgan. “What’s going on-- what is that?” Wide curious eyes, not sure if she was supposed to panic or be of help somehow.

The anteater? Pig? shaped animal slowed to a trot in front of Chloe, then snuffled at a nearby plant pot full of purple gardenias, its long nose prodding and poking at the flowers. Skeptically, Chloe bristled the umbrella at it, not trusting that anything this innocuous looking could truly be innocuous. Someone yelled at her and she tore away her eyes from the creature for a second to look at the young woman. “Uh!” She yelled back, looking at her trolley full of groceries, before remembering that she’d packed some extra reusable cotton bags in case she bought more. Turning her gaze back to the animal that was now happily monching on the flowers, she pulled out the reusable bags. “Will these do? What is going on??”

Alcher regarded the tiger that was pointed out with a placid expression. “She is beautiful, isn’t she?” The child was complaining, and they smelled so human, it made Alcher’s nose crinkle through the scents of animals free from their prisons. “You do not know that. Not all animals are vicious and want to eat everything.” A shrug, and she was strolling away from them and into the street. “What good can men in suits do? I say enjoy the show, kinder, perhaps it is a free one.” 

Nell growled in frustration as the first person proved useless, though she supposed they were busy protecting their cat. Fine. As always, she’d have to do it herself. But then another woman procured a plastic bag, and there was hope for the people of the world and their abilities to respond to a crisis once again. “It’s gonna have to do!” Nell said while reaching out for the bags, already thinking of a spell she could use to make them stronger, harder to be torn apart by little sprite hands. “Looks like a jail break,” Nell replied dryly, recognizing some of the animals from the zoo.

The tiger could smell her prey in the distance. It was near a group of the two legged creatures, those humans who locked her in behind those bars and watched her. Now, she watched them. Now, they would not separate her from her meal. She moved forward with the confidence of a prisoner released from her cage after too long. Like a prisoner, she wanted a good meal, and she wanted it fresh. One of the humans, a strange smelling one, one that did not seem human at all, regarded her, and so the tiger returned the look only for a moment. She was so hungry. She would eat.

The sprites became preoccupied by Nell’s trapping attempt, giving Metzli enough time to get up and run off with Yuca in their arms. That’s when they saw the rest of the animals roaming about the street. Zebras, tigers, and several others. Supernatural others. “Whoa…” They said, amazed and confused. “What is happ—” They were interrupted by running into someone, and that someone was Morgan. 

“My familiar is criminal,” declared Sai mournfully as he reached Morgan, Bex, and another clumsy person,  face flushed from a long sprint down several streets.

“I guess?” Bly had to admit it did make sense that animals didn’t always want to eat people. Still… They didn’t want to test it. “They might get hurt if we don’t help them though! A tiger or a zebra isn’t going to do well in Maine. It’s cold here.” Then the tiger was looking at them and Bly was pretty thankful they didn’t pee themself. They slowly inched behind the intense lady, “I don’t like this. Making eye contact with a tiger is a bad idea!”

Sundew had never dreamed of a more perfect day. The humans looked so silly with their faces like that and one of them made the funniest sound when a fluffy cloud of sprites swarmed and picked at her nisty-nasty hair. 

Sundew flew out of her hiding spot on Morgan’s shoulder and conjured a mallet just her size between her fingers. She bonked the human running toward them to help, then she flew toward the sprites, cackling, “Yes! Yes! Cage-free chaos!” Then she flew to the nearest human and bit their hand and left the image of a lion paw on their wrist instead. “Woopsie! Better get that checked out! I hope your premiums are good!”

Morgan looked from Sundew, to Sai, to Bex, to the zebra, and back again. There were people losing their coffee, people losing their sanity, Nell and Chloe maybe doing something clever with a plastic bag, and it was all too much. 

“What do you mean criminal?” She cried. “Did Ibulba do this?” Normally this would’ve been outrageous but nothing was outrageous today. The zebra bared his teeth and Morgan jumped back and ran into someone else. 

“Oh, hi. Nice day for a walk, huh? You really might wanna consider going anywhere else right now.” Then she saw Sundew fluttering back their way with a familiar, dangerous look on her face. “Or better yet, get down! This really isn’t safe for anyone!”

Chloe eyed the animal chewing on the plants, itching around it carefully. When she looked up at Nell again, she frowned, finally realising that the ungulate creature wasn’t the only thing running around. All of the animals were black and white, and despite the havoc they were creating, they were much quieter than a normal stampede. “Are you going to use a bag to try and stop-” Chloe gestured at the skunks, snakes and single cow, as well as the terrifying creature beside them. Its nose was too long and flexible. She didn’t trust it.

Bex glanced between Sai and Morgan. Sai seemed breathless and Morgan seemed panicked and Sundew was off making trouble with some small, butterfly-looking creatures that seemed to like her. As far as animal handling went, Bex had rolled low, she’d never been around animals in her life, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know anything about them. The zebra brayed at them and she scooted behind Morgan as well, when someone bumped into them. A familiar someone. 

“Metzli??” she breathed, raising a brow. Why were they here? It was still daytime! “Oh, watchout!” She called, tugging on their arm as Sundew whizzed toward them, ready to spread more antics. “Sundew, no, please!” she tried. The pixie rarely listened to Bex, even though she often let them braid her hair in the garden and laugh about silly pixie things.

Nell shook her head while she mumbled a quick spell under her breath, and the cotton bag stiffened into something much harder. “What?” she asked with vague annoyance on her features while she tried to figure out how to herd the sprites into the bag. “You want me to use the bag on the tapir?” That was the long-nosed thing standing next to Chloe, right? She remembered seeing them in the jungles of South America. “If you wanna keep it as a pet you’re gonna have to use something else. Maybe think of a name for it first. But no- this is for them!” she replied, gesturing towards the swarm of pixies.

“Maybe? I don’t know? She is aiding and abetting it at least, and her unluck is very powerful ,” Sai confessed glumly, as if somehow convinced his magic goat would be put on trial for zoo escapes.

It was too late, Metzli was knocked to the ground and Yuca yelled out in terror. She almost ran off, but they managed to grab her leash and pull her back in as they got to their feet. They were too frantic between the chaos and trying to get into some shade. “Oh. Hi Bex!” They said in a daze and ran under a nearby canopy for protection with Yuca in their arms once again. Her hackles were raised and she was growling. 

Leah watched from across the street as a panda bear chewed on pages from a book, and that was the last straw.  Chaos and carnage she could let go, but book destruction?  Unacceptable.  She stomped across the street toward the bear, taking a deep breath to settle herself as she went.

The tiger and her gorgeous coat stopped to regard Alcher for a moment, and what a sight she was. Alcher simply stood and admired her back, giving a nod. She didn’t need help stalking her prey, but the proud zebra had strutted further down the street and seemed to be oblivious to the chaos it had caused, if maybe proud. Alcher could relate. She would want to kill it, too. Perhaps it would taste sweet, like the smell of fae hanging in the air. Fae blood was a treasure for someone like Alcher, though she did not indulge often-- fae held grudges, fae remembered, fae had magic she didn’t want to mess with. Alcher turned to beckon to the child, whose worry was palpable. “I think they’ll do just fine. Keep up, if you don’t want to be the next meal.”

The lemurs began jumping on people, using their little hands to flip people off. They’d learned things during school field trips.

Sundew would later tell her troop that she’d made fifty humans think they were turning into animals even if it was only more like ten. 

“Can’t catch me!” She giggled, whizzing by Bex. She pulled on the girl’s hair as hard as she could, humans were so silly when they weeble-wobbled, and did several circles in the air to show how much she was enjoying herself. She circled around to where the sprites were clustering and touched her toes to the tops of their heads as she crowed, “Fly my pretties, fly!” Just to get them good and riled up. 

The zebra in front of Morgan pulled its ears back and huffed silently, then, swift as chaos, it reared and lunged at Morgan, knocking her down as it pranced toward freedom. Morgan wheezed, wincing as her chest bent back into the right shape, and looked ahead into the thick cluster of goats and animals. “What I’m hearing, Sai, is that this is only gonna get worse until we find your goat. And so we gotta—“ she gestured vaguely at the mess brewing in front of them. “Find her?”

A tall jogger sighed and scooped up a grizzly bear cub that’d been making excited friendly noises at the bibio-voric panda bear and had begun to imitate to see if human literature was indeed delicious. “No Zeke,” Roy sighed, chiding his youngest sibling. “We can’t play with cousin right now.”

Bly’s mouth was dry, this lady just nodded at the tiger. The tiger who was hunting was nodded at by a Lady who didn’t seem to care. Their fingers drummed a rhythm against their sternum, drowning out the pounding underneath it. “You think it might be hungry after a different meal?” Their voice was reaching a scared squeaking pitch. “Should I call my mom?”

“No! I thought you wanted to use the bag on the tapir! It looks shifty!” Chloe yelled back, eyeing it suspiciously again. “I don’t want it as a pet!” All bickering about the tapir faded away as she saw the sprites twisting around in the air. Chloe froze, shrinking in on herself as she clutched her iron necklace her breath racing. “I- I can’t- I can’t I can’t-” She handed Nell an iron necklace with a long iron chain on it, fingers trembling as she pressed her back against the wall. Please don’t notice me, please don’t notice me, she thought as loud as she could.

Bex recoiled. “See if I ever share my gummies with you again!” she growled at the pixie as she incited a rebellion among the butterfly beings. Her eyes roamed again until she found Metzli under a canopy, cradling their cat. “Maybe you should get out of here? Your cat seems angry and scared and I think it’s just gonna get um--” she glanced back at Morgan, the zebra, wincing at the hit, refraining from calling out to her-- “worse.” She waved her hands a moment. “At least stay here! I’ll be back.” She backed away, then, and made her way over to Sai. “Which way did she go? Can you, like, track her?” She tried to think of a way for herself to be useful, but barring becoming a distraction, she couldn’t think of much. “Maybe we should split up?”

The tiger was close enough, now, her prey nearly in her mouth it was so close. She looked to the human that did not smell like a human, to the cub human next to her. They were not important. One did not smell like prey, and the other was too small to worry with. The tiger had her prey. She looked back at it and let out a silent snarl. Sound had not come out of her, not anymore. Not since she had been locked behind those bars, since the colors in her fur dripped from her like rain water. She lunged, teeth and claws sinking into the hind end of her prey. It, too, could not properly cry out. The tiger finally had her meal.

“She probably wants to take the petting zoo goats to the farm,” Sai said, watching with wide eyes as Morgan went from definitely dead to bodily wholeness in the span of seconds. “Which…would mean I’d be harboring stolen property aw shit noooooo!”

Bea heard the yells before she saw anything out of the ordinary. All she had wanted was to buy a bottle of wine and have a bubble bath tonight. Sighing, the witch cracked open a bottle, screw top, Thank God, and took a sip. She saw her sister doing something and determined it was likely best to go help her. “Hey, Nellie,” She said casually as she offered the bottle to her sister. “Who let the animals out of the zoo?”

The tiger took its prey and Alcher grinned. The young human was panicking and she rolled her eyes. “What good would that do? If you want to survive, you must think smarter.” She didn’t know why she was even bothering with this human child, but she didn’t know how to walk away anymore. She’d grown...soft. Shuddering, Alcher turned away. She could smell them on the air, her cousins. They were traveling together and were getting closer. She had been waiting for this. It was time to make a new home for them. “Come,” she ushered to the child, “I want to show you something.” 

Nell shot the other woman an incredulous look, sparing the black and white tapir once more glance before calling back to her in exasperation. “It’s a vegetarian!” The witch couldn’t remember the fancy name for ‘plant-eater’ right now. She wasn’t sure what to make of the blond’s alarm, but it only took Nell a moment to recognize the iron that had been deposited into her hand. She still didn’t want to kill the things...but maybe she could use this to herd them. It covered more ground than her knife, anyway. Swinging the chain above her head in a wide circle, Nell moved towards the sprites with her bag in the other hand. “Get!” she yelled out of instinct, as if she were wrangling some particularly rowdy cattle. “Into the bag and I won’t singe your wings off!” Bea? What the hell? Where had Bea come from? “I don’t know who let them out. Would you care to help get them back in?”

Miriam had decided to go for a walk, her skin mostly covered as she wore a large sun hat and glasses, looking for a meal before she headed back home. She was drawn to an intense amount of misery and pain, despair coming from a particular area of town. She was curious, this much concentrated agony unusual. “That little fucker waddled away with my cappuccino!” was all Miriam heard as she stumbled upon, well, a herd. All sorts of wildlife ran amok, and she blinked against the sight of it. She should turn around. She was going to turn around. This was just a little much for even her.

Mom always said not to lose your head. She also always said that letting strangers show you things would often end up poorly. Bly had already lost their head, might as well let a stranger show them something. Plus, she wasn’t scared and it was a good idea to be with someone who wasn’t losing their shit. “Uh, yeah sure? Is it another tiger cus I’m not sure if I can deal with that. Especially after witnessing that…” They trailed off looking at the tiger feasting, it made their stomach turn.

Of course Yuca was upset, her predators were roaming about and Metzli could do close to nothing to help as long as the sun was around. People were running and screaming as they glared quietly. They opted to simply threaten, baring their teeth in a predatory show of dominance under the safety of the shadows, petting Yuca and cooing at her every so often. They needed just a little more time before they were able to bolt back home. 

The wine was ignored and Bea let out a little huff through her nose. She wouldn’t offer next time then. Screwing the top back on, she placed the bottle back into her tote bag gingerly. It was a pretty nice wine. “Direct me, Nell. I don’t exactly have experience in this.” If Nell wasn’t here, deep in the fray like she always was, Bea might have considered leaving, but her sister was and so Bea couldn’t leave. “What are you going to do with the bag after you get them?”

The  sprites were only too happy to listen to Sundew. With a cascade of hissing and fluttering they rose, spread and circled the room. When the iron started flying into their cluster, their humming grew louder. Yes, it was going to be a cutting kind of day after all. 

Morgan nodded along to Sai’s words. “Mkay. No one is harboring stolen animals. Petting zoo. We got this. We totally got this.” She stood slowly and staggered forward. But maybe, uh—” Morgan didn’t want to broadcast that she couldn’t remember what Ibulba looked like under these circumstances, but just then, every fluffy goat in the distance looked the same. “A description so we can all be equally aware and prepared would help!” She nodded encouragingly, then stuck her hand into her bag and took out a snack to eat on her way to the goats. 

Alcher walked through the animals as they gave her a wide berth, especially those one might consider prey. Even in this form, they could sense what she was and she moved like a fish through water, smooth and gliding, the child in tow. Good, they’d decided to follow. She made her way down the alley and towards the edge of the streets, where it met fields of grass and eventually grew into trees. She looked back at the child. “Not a tiger, no,” she pointed at the pack of only black and white wolves, stalking the edge of the forest. They, too, had found prey, and Alcher was eager to watch. “Watch how nature truly works. This is what the world makes of those who are weak.” Of those who are prey, like little human children. 

“Everything here is weirdly quiet and mime shaped so the tapir probably eats hearts on the DL!” Chloe yelled back. When she noticed the sprites, her body trembled, remembering the time she’d seen them swarm and slaughter a nearby bird. The other thing she’d learned was that wherever there were sprites, there were pixies lording over them like a bite sized monarch. She shied further back into the street, terrified to get any closer, when suddenly the sprites grew more and more energetic, spreading out and urging into a frenzy. One zipped inches from Chloe’s face as she choked on the kind of scream banned by fae promise, unable to  do so much as swat them away. “Maybe- maybe- maybe something sweet!” Fae were renowned for their sweet tooths, she knew.

Sai shoved a hand in his pocket and grabbed a handful of Parmesan cheese from the baggie in there. He covertly held the Parmesan flat on his hand while moving closer to Morgan to screen the cheese from view. The Tyromancer murmured a few phrases under his breath and the cheese grains shaped themselves into a moving perfect replica of the black horned Scapegoat. “That's her”

Bro, Mom was one hundred percent right. This was a bad idea. A messed up teaching moment. The dizziness wasn’t fading as Bly looked over the scene that this woman had lead them too. “I really, really prefer when I see nature working through a documentary.” Why had they had coffee today? That always made their anxiety spike and their anxiety was already spoke. “I mean this is metal as fuck, like maybe you should write for horror movies, but I’m not a prey animal? I’m not going to be in situations like this very often and a pack of wolves isn’t going to eat me. I’m not weak. Or like I’m not usually weak?”

Bex watched in awe as Sai shaped the cheese, a bit gleeful at the creation of it. She wondered if one day she could do something like that. Maybe not with cheese. Definitely not with cheese. She glanced up and squinted down the street towards where Morgan was headed, the heard of goats far enough away to look like a stripe of cotton on the horizon. “Okay,” she nodded and started off across the street, looking both ways and letting a heard of quick moving raccoons scuttle down the road towards the alleys before turning to head up the sidewalk. She spotted Nell and Bea and another woman dealing with the sprites and decided it was probably better to not disturb them, pulling her own magic to the edge of her fingertips in case she’d need it. “Ibulba!” she called out as she got closer, “I’ve got um-- apples for you!” Goats liked apples, right?

Nell patience was worn thin. She already had so little of it to begin with, especially these days in the wake of everything that had happened over the past few months. Without warning she whipped the iron chain hard and fast enough to slice clean through a swath of the sprites, killing them instantly as their burned halves fell to the ground. “Get in the bag while you still can.” Again it had come to violence. Was this what she was supposed to be doing? Killing sprites and helping people? But the sprites weren’t being helped. The reason she couldn’t be worthy in the way Dave had said— was it because she’d never been able to solve things without adding more violence? Trying to shake her head of the thoughts she spoke again to Bea. “I’m gonna put them in the bag and glue them to the fucking ground. Then I’ll deal with them after.” Bea wanted direction. The biggest threat was the tiger, though she seemed happy now that she’d gotten her meal. “Just herd the animals back towards the zoo. Starting with this guy-” Nell nodded in the tapir’s direction. “A shadow leash or something.” The blond’s continued fear drew Nell’s attention, and she didn’t hesitate to dissect the sprite into two, the necklace swinging inches from the woman’s face. 

Alcher frowned and turned to look back at the child, golden eyes reflecting sunlight in a way human ones could not. “Oh, but you are, child,” was all she said, before she moved forward swiftly and finally ripped free of her human flesh. She wanted to join the pack, the ache of needing one too hard to resist. 

There was finally a chance, a chance to run in the midst of the chaos. Everyone was doing their best to do a multitude of things. Stop the chaos, run from the chaos, and even ensuing more chaos. Normally, Metzli would be excited by their own dangerous plans, but they would never dare risk Yuca’s life like that. And so they ran as fast as they could, inconspicuously. Running past Bex, they pulled her to the side as an ostrich that was running next to them nearly trampled her. “Watch your back!” They yelled as they continued to run, and get the fuck away from the fun. It was fun they were willing to miss out on. “This doesn’t mean I like you though!” Their voice trailed off into the distance as they finally escaped with Yuca. Passing by Bly and taking the chance for a little chaos. “Watch out. There’s a leopard behind you…!” Even yelling “Made you look!” As they continued. 

Ibulba was watching approvingly as the quiet petting zoo goats tore through an upscale clothing store. Stalls and hangers toppled inside the store, the destruction escalating in unlikely domino effects as some unseen force seemed to play havoc with probability. Ibulba and several other goats were munching on a delicious Marie-Chantal Miller wedding dress they’d pulled out from the shattered viewing window. But her ears perked up at her name. 

Ibulba turned to face the familiar she-human who was holding an apple to her. Ibubla turned back to look, and saw the sacking of the silky human-covering place was well in hand. She trotted over to Bex, seeming at home in the surrounding anarchy, and took a prospective bite of the apple.

Bex stumbled when Metzli whizzed by her, yanking her out of the path of a storming ostrich. Scrunching her nose, she shouted back, “Yes you do!” before she reached her destination and found the clothing store in utter disarray. Well...most of the dresses were tacky, anyway. She wondered if expensive clothing tasted better than bargain bin. But Ibulba was happily trotting over to her and she held out the apple she’d had in her bag and reached out to pat her head. “Hey there,” she said casually, smiling at her. “Sai’s kinda worried about you, ya know. Can you go back to him? I think he really needs your help.” From what Bex had seen of her, and knew of her, she was fiercely protective of her spellcaster. It was the bond between familiar and caster Nell had told Bex about, and she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. “Besides, looks like your friends’ve got everything under control here.” 

Shadow leash. Bea could handle that, and she could start gathering a decent amount of animals with her as she went with them. “Alright. I’ll be back when I can okay.” It was good to see Nell take charge. There was energy in her voice, a commanding tone that had been missing. “You’re doing a good job,” She said offhandedly as she subtly made a shadow leash for the tapir. The animal moved uncomfortably as it realized what she had done but she was already walking along, forcing him to follow.

VOMIT TW BEGIN

This was it, this lady was a serial killer and Bly was about to be a victim. Then her skin… changed and there was a wolf in her place and finally that bile that had been working it’s way up erupted, Bly choking on it as they let out a surprised wail. As they spit it up into the grass, someone screamed about a leopard and it took all Bly’s strength to sprint away as fast as they could. They were pretty sure they had screamed, but they were running to fast to know what left them as they reentered the chaos. 

VOMIT TW END

Morgan had just enough calm to take note of the image without choking on her fried brains. “Beautiful,” she deadpanned, and shambled with Bex toward that goat.

Sundew flew somersaults into the air, faster and faster, speeding toward the ground. A big black and white furry creature sneezed and swatted at her and sent her veering off course, into Morgan’s head. 

Morgan caught the pixie in the palm of her hand. She had a few irritated words lined up and ready to go when a hundred little cuts pinged on her head and back. The sprites, scattering from the threat of iron, had landed on her, and had decided to take out their aggression on her body. Morgan lurched away from Bex and Ibulba and fell on her knees.

“What was that for?” Sundew asked. She had fully expected to meet the eternal pixie night after that swipe, but the dummy boob had caught her on purpose and for absolutely no trade at all. 

Morgan was a little occupied with being bitten by angry sprites. She gave Sundew a dirty glare, so clear even the pixie knew what had to be done. She gave a whistle and ordered the sprites to go home. “There, are you happy now, Dummy Boob?” She asked. 

Morgan looked around, dazed and bleary eyed. “You know…maybe yeah,” she said dryly. “Come on. I’ve got a real live bad luck goat for you to meet. And a big ol farm she needs to go home to.”

From an alley, a friend was watching. It was not seen. It was not heard. But it was watching. Perhaps it, too, would one day find a companion to romp through the streets and eat with.

While the sprites rammed into Morgan, Nell saw red. With another uttering of her magic, and a tug on the bond that linked her and the witch’s familiar, Taki was blipping into existence at her side, as easily summoned as breathing air after nearly a decade of doing it. “Roast them,” she told Taki, waiting for the fiery inferno of his breath to make barbecue out of the bothersome pint-sized fae. “Morgan, duck!” A swath of flames erupted from the Ovinikk’s mouth before Nell could realize the sprites were retreating on the orders of Sundew— and the stragglers of the pack screeched as they were set ablaze. 

Ibulba closed her amber eyes and concentrated for a moment. She could feel her partner’s mounting anxiety from here. When Ibubla was still a kid,  she’d been presented with a young he-human. He suffered from convulsions and visions, but Ibulba has souldbounded with him nevertheless, discerning that his gentleness and diligence would provide balance to her chaos. Ibulba reached through the bond and found her human partner. 

Ibulba opened her eyes, munching pensively on the apple while nodding for Bex to follow. Several petting zoo goats looked up questioningly, but Ibulba knew she’d done what she could. They must find their own freedom and delicious silky snacks now. She had a hyperventilating partner to attend to. 

Ibulba wove her way unerringly through the stampedes, seeming to navigate through some superior sense of probability. She occasionally checked to see if Bex was following. Eventually she sprinted straight into her caster’s embrace, allowing him to bury his face and mumble inane worried things into her wooly fur.

Relieved, Bex followed Ibulba back to Sai, who grabbed her and hugged her so gratefully, it was as if they’d been parted for years. Or, perhaps, that their distance had pained him. She heard Nell’s familiar voice, too, and looked up from Sai and Ibulba, watching as Taki opened his mouth and let out a roar of flames. Something heavy fell in Bex’s stomach as she heard the anguished cries of the small butterfly critters. Winced and looked away, deciding that keeping her focus on Sai and Ibulba was the best idea. “C’mon, we should maybe get her back to the farm,” she ushered, looking back over her shoulder at Nell and wondering if she noticed her, too. She looked angry. Bex wished she could reach out with her own magic and help calm her down, but that wasn’t within her grasp yet. She patted Ibulba’s head again and smiled at Sai as best she could. “Maybe invest in a leash, too,” she teased.

There was little left of the tiger’s prey as her stomach became overly full. Still, it was so good, so fresh. She would not waste it. And, as the humans’ sounds grew louder, she would not be caught again. No more cages. No more bars. Only fresh, warm prey. She grabbed what was left by its leg and began dragging it off, away from the noise. She would finish it later, after some peace and quiet and freedom.

“T-t-the tiger,” one of the zoo keepers, scrawny and trembling and a voice that was beginning to fail every few words, managed to say. They were a new hire. They’d find their words eventually. Or perhaps lose them. They pointed in the direction of where the tiger had gone, but it was too late to go after her with all the other chaos on the loose. They would have to follow the blood smears and hope it led them to her. After all, how hard would it be to locate a white tiger?

It was all gloved hands on deck as the rest of the zoo keepers, along with some of White Crest’s finest joined together with tranquilizers and began systematically and, for the most part, silently dispatching animals to get them sent back to the zoo. It would be hard work, but it would be done.

While the tiger wandered off, Anara Kingston took inventory of the wreckage that had been done to the front of her bistro, the lemurs that were still flipping the bird to anyone who so much as glanced in their direction, and the actual birds that were fluttering around with teeth that looked a little too human. Hold on. Birds didn’t have teeth, did they? It didn’t matter anymore. With a resigned sigh she turned back towards the sign she’d been so proud to display, sullenly erasing the number on it, changing it to read ‘0 days since last accident.’

[dealbrekker]

Hey, I'm wondering if you have any good recommendations for books, movies or series? I followed you for soc and you seem to have a lot of other interesting fandoms and interests.

I like fantasy, but I don't want the world to be too different from our world. I like mysteries and paranormal stuff mostly but I can't seem to find any good ones lately. More realistic ones are good and I think that I need to read or watch more stuff like that.

I prefer if it has some of my favourite tropes like found family. Not too much romance or anything else.I read mainly YA but I really need to expand my taste more. I prefer series to be quite long but still bingeable. Movies are always good.

If you want to help me then that would be wonderful and I want to say thank you even before you answer.

Hello! I'd LOVE to give you some recommendations! I went through my goodreads and my own bookshelves to see what I have that match your interests and have compiled the following list!

Books/Series:

The Amelia Peabody mysteries by Elizabeth Peters: these are my most favorite books by my most favorite author. They're historical fiction/mysteries set in the 1880s to the 1920s Egypt. There are 20 books in the series. They're fantastic if you want a brilliant main character who is sassy, fun, smart, and crazy intelligent. There is some romance peppered in throughout, but this is extremely well done and isn't the main point of the books. Nothing explicit in the least either. Along the way more characters are introduced and become part of the found family trope. This series was started in the late 1970s. I highly recommend all of Elizabeth Peters' books, as well as those under her other pen name, Barbara Michaels. The first book in the Amelia mysteries is called Crocodile on the Sandbank. Not YA.

The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs: I'm a couple books behind in this paranormal/suburban fantasy series, but love it so much. There are currently around 11 books or so. Again, there is some romance, but the mysteries and supernatural elements are at the foreground. Werewolves, shapeshifters, vampires, the fae, and more feature. Mercy is a certified badass mechanic and coyote shapeshifter. First book is called Moon Called. Not YA.

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater. Now these you probably know and have possibly already read. Supernatural/paranormal YA series heavily featuring the found family trope. Beautiful and weird and just delicious. These books, for me at least, are more about the characters than the plot. First books is The Raven Boys.

The Constellation Trilogy by Claudia Gray: YA sci-fi! I'm not big on sci-fi but this wonderful trilogy is a fantastic way to dip your toe into the genre. It has one of my favorite characters I've come across in recent years, Abel Mansfield. He is the most darling, socially awkward Android you'll ever meet. First book is called Defy the Stars.

The Flavia de Luce series by Alan Bradley. This isn't YA but the main character is an 11 year old chemistry prodigy. She's fun and whip smart and has a nose for solving murder cases much to the local Inspector's chagrin. I think there are 9 or 10 in this series so far. The first is called The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

The Strange the Dreamer duology by Laini Taylor. Exquisite. Just gorgeous. The books read like a dream. Fantasy but not too fantasy. I'd consider these on the cusp of YA and whatever is above YA. The characters are in their mid to late teens, but it's a bit like SoC where the writing lends itself to an older audience. The first is Strange the Dreamer.

The Red Rising Saga by Pierce Brown. This is also a YA leaning more toward adult. Loosely I'd describe the first book, Red Rising, as Hunger Games on Mars. I've only read the first 3 books, but UGH the characters. UGH the action. Definitely has Found Family going on in it. If memory serves it can be a little graphic in the action and violence but isn't the worst I've ever read. More sci-fi that isn't too sci-fi.

Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. Okay so here is where I deviate. This is higher fantasy than what I've recommended thus far. It's sprawling world building at its finest. That being said, it's still really humans, just on a different world where the plant and animal life is different. These are very long books, but just phenomenal. The cast of characters are incredible, the plots engaging. If you want to read this series, give it the time it deserves. Ive only read the first 2, and there are 4 currently. Sanderson has tons of other books and series that take place in the same universe, if I'm not mistaken, but I've only read the Stormlight Archive books so far. The first one is called The Way of Kings.

The Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss. Same disclaimer as the last one. More high fantasy. Tbh, I havent read these in a long, long time, but very much enjoyed them. A bit more complex as far as the magic, but the plot and characters are amazing so I wanted to mention them. First one is called The Name of the Wind and there are only 2 so far.

Shows:

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (on acorn TV and possibly bbca): 3 seasons of utter delight. Fun and flirty and moving. Takes place in the 1930s I believe, in Australia. Follows Phryne Fisher as she bursts her way into solving murders much to Inspector Jack Robinson's dismay. These two are AMAZING partners, no matter how reluctant. This is also a book series, but I haven't read them and have actually heard many people say they prefer the show

Lucifer (on Netflix.): I'm behind and I'm upset that I'm behind. Follows one cheeky devil as he assists a reluctant Detective Chloe Decker solve crimes (I am starting to see a theme in my own interests 😆). Funny but so emotionally moving as Lucifer navigates his way through his own humanity

Prodigal Son. Season 2 starts in January. It airs on Fox so I'm not sure off the top of my head where you can find season 1 readily available. Highly recommend. Follows Malcolm Bright, a serial killer Profiler for the NYPD. His father is a very famous serial killer, and he often gets tips from dear old dad to aid in his cases. Malcolm has tons of ptsd and trauma to work through, so the show touches upon these themes heavily.

Movies:

To be perfectly honest, I'm not a movie expert of any kind. I just watch what looks interesting to me. But my all time favorite movies are the 1999/2000 The Mummy and The Mummy Returns with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Just pure joy when I watch. Fun and so very quotable.

I also adore the Thin Man series from the 40s starring William Powell and Myrna Loy. Those 2 are absolutely relationship goals. So fun and sassy. A husband and wife crime solving team with a sassy dog named Asta.

This was so fun to put together for you! Let me know if you have anymore questions about anything I listed! Take care and happy reading/viewing!

[dlwritings]

Supernatural Minds | Sam Winchester

general masterlist found here

pairing - Sam x BAU!reader word count - 6,006 (*John Mulaney voice* Holy shit, right?) warnings - language, themes from Supernatural and Criminal Minds

(A/N) - I don’t know wtf happened in my brain but apparently I needed a Supernatural x Criminal Minds crossover

summary - Jody Mills calls her friend at the BAU to help crack a serial killer case. Sam and Dean think it’s impossible to profile a werewolf. So who’s right about the bad guy? The FBI or the hunters?

(Y/N) was sitting on her bed in her pajamas, watching a movie and inhaling popcorn when suddenly, her phone rang. She paused her movie and checked the caller ID, smiling when the name Jody Mills flashed across the screen. “Well hey there, sheriff,” she said. “It’s been too long.”

“I wish I was calling for pleasantries,” Jody said.

“Ah I knew you were just using me for my federal perks,” she teased. “What’s up?”

“My chief of police already sent files to your office,” she said. “We’ve got something pretty messed up over here.”

(Y/N) sat up a little straighter. “What kind of messed up are we talking?”

Jody sighed. “Remember the first case of yours you ever told me about?”

She scoffed. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“The man who used his son to kill women,” she said. “And he’d-”

“Cut out their hearts,” (Y/N) finished, shuddering. “Yeah. I remember.”

Jody sighed again. “It’s sounding a lot like that.” (Y/N) sighed in response and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

“Thanks for the heads up,” she said. “I’m sure JJ’ll brief us tomorrow. So I guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”

“I wish it was under better circumstances,” Jody said.

“Tell you what,” (Y/N) said, “after we solve the case, you can cook me some dinner.”

Jody laughed. “Deal.”

The next day, as (Y/N) expected, JJ called everyone into the conference room to give a rundown of the case Jody had sent. “Sioux Falls, South Dakota,” she said, handing everyone a copy of the file. “They’ve had four murders in the past four weeks. They’ve all been women in their 30s, single.”

“Any connection between the victims?” Morgan asked.

“All classic blonde haired beauties,” JJ said. “They were all last seen entering their homes, but no one noticed them leave. No forced entry into any home indicates they left with the unsub voluntarily.”

“How are we sure it’s the same killer?” Prentiss asked.

“They’ve all been dumped in the exact same spot,” JJ said. “An abandoned salvage yard.”

“Anything else?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah,” JJ said, switching the screen to photos of the bodies. “There’s this too.”

“What is-”

“Every victim was missing their heart,” JJ said, cutting Morgan off.

Everyone sighed, and (Y/N) dropped the file on the table and put her head in her hands. “Alright,” Hotch said. “Wheels up in 30.”

On the plane, (Y/N) sat next to Morgan as she continued looking over the case file. “You’re from Sioux Falls, right?” he asked her.

“Yeah,” she said. “The sheriff who asked for our help’s an old friend. I haven’t been back in a while though.”

“You looking forward to it?” Morgan asked.

“What, to investigating a violent crime scene?” she quipped.

Morgan chuckled. “You know what I mean.”

She shrugged. “Not exactly a lot of happy memories there.” Morgan nodded and dropped the subject.

“Alright, let’s brief,” JJ said. “What have we got?”

“The unsub’s able to coerce the victims into leaving their homes with no force,” (Y/N) said.

“There are no signs that sexual assault takes place before he cuts their hearts out and dumps them at the salvage yard,” Morgan added.

“The precision with which he cuts the hearts out implies he’s some sort of doctor,” Reid said.

“Are we looking at a psychotic break?” Prentiss asked.

“Maybe,” Reid said. “The hearts most likely mean something. They’re his trophies, but he’s trying to make a statement.”

“A brokenhearted man?” (Y/N) offered.

Morgan scoffed. “With a seriously messed up way of coping.”

They landed in South Dakota and made their way to the crime scene. As soon as they arrived, (Y/N) spotted Jody. She excused herself from the rest of the group and jogged over to her. Jody welcomed her with open arms. “It’s been too long,” (Y/N) said.

“You’re telling me,” Jody said. “I hardly recognize you.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. “It hasn’t been that long.”

Jody chuckled and looked over (Y/N)’s shoulder just as the rest of the team joined them. “Jody, these are my colleagues-” She motioned to everyone respectively. “-SSAs Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau, Gideon, and Dr. Reid.” Jody shook everyone’s hands.

“Thank you all for coming out,” she said. “We don’t get a lot of serial killers in this area, so we’re feeling a little in over our heads.” JJ went to speak with the chief of police while Jody showed the rest of them the bodies.

“This is Bobby Singer’s place, right?” (Y/N) asked.

“Was,” Jody said. “Bobby died about, oh, eight years ago now.”

“Who found the bodies?” Gideon asked.

“A local teen boy,” she said. “This place has become a pretty popular smoking site for teens after Bobby left it.”

“What else can you tell us?” Morgan asked.

“Laine-” Jody pointed to the body closest to (Y/N). “-was the first victim. Alyssa went missing the following week, then Rachel, and finally, Tara.” Jody sighed. “None of them older than 35. All real nice girls. They’ve lived in the town their whole lives.”

“Were you able to discern when the bodies were dropped?” Reid asked. “Like what time or what day?”

“The boy who found the bodies is a good boy,” she said. “Charlie Miller. He and his friends come out here to smoke so their parents don’t bust ‘em. Still, like I said, he’s a good boy. He said they were here Thursday night, left around 1:00 in the morning. Charlie realized he left his wallet, so he came back the next morning. He got here about 7:30 on his way to school. That was when he found the body.”

“So this guy’s dumping them in the dead of night,” (Y/N) said.

“Did Charlie and his friends not notice the other bodies every other time they’ve been here?” Morgan asked.

“That’s one of the strange things,” Jody said. “All the other bodies were covered by a tarp. This one wasn’t.”

“So he’s getting sloppy?” Prentiss said. “Maybe he was in a hurry?"

“This kind of unsub doesn’t get sloppy,” Gideon said. “Something scared him. He had to run.”

“You think he almost got caught?” Jody asked.

“I’m thinking we need to talk to Charlie again,” Gideon said. “He might’ve seen more than he let on.”

-

Sam and Dean arrived at the scene, ready to flash their badges. They passed the yellow tape and saw Jody. Sam called her name, and everyone Jody was with turned to look in their direction. “Feds?” Dean asked his brother.

“Real feds,” Sam emphasized.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Dean mumbled. Jody met the boys halfway, leading them away from the group of suits. She greeted them with hugs.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” she asked.

“Claire called,” Dean said. “Heard you got a werewolf.”

Jody sighed. “I told her, it’s not a werewolf.”

“She said the victims are all missing hearts,” Sam said.

“But they weren’t ripped out,” Jody said.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked. Jody huffed and rolled her eyes.

“You see those people over there?” she said. “That’s the real FBI. So who are you guys pretending to be today?” Dean mumbled something Jody didn’t catch. “Don’t mumble,” Jody scolded somewhat playfully.

Dean sighed. “Agents Stark and Banner.”

Jody shook her head in disbelief. “These guys are with the BAU.”

“BAU?” Sam repeated.

“Behavior Analysis Unit,” Jody said. “Their entire job is to profile people. They’ll be able to smell the fake FBI on you.”

“Then who do you want us to be?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know,” Jody said. “I’ll just call you some experts.”

They all walked over to the feds, and Jody introduced them, not bothering with fake names. The boys both crouched down beside the most recent body and examined the wounds. Jody kept the BAU busy. “Maybe she’s right,” Sam said. “Maybe it’s not our thing.”

“Come on, man,” Dean said. “Missing hearts? This is classic werewolf.”

“I’ve never seen a werewolf take the time to carve out the heart,” Sam argued.

“Explain the cattle mutilations,” Dean said. “Those were all missing hearts too.” Sam sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked over at Jody and the BAU. He noticed one of the agents staring in their direction. “What are you thinking?” Dean asked, snapping Sam out of his thoughts. Sam looked at his brother and sighed.

“You’re not gonna like it,” Sam said. Dean just raised his eyebrows. “Hearing what the BAU is thinking would be helpful.”

“You want to work with actual feds?” Dean asked. “They’ve got sticks so far up their asses, they’ll never let us in.”

“If Jody says-”

“Doesn’t matter what Jody says,” Dean said. “If we even utter the word werewolf-”

“Maybe we don’t have to say it,” Sam said. “We can still listen to their profile and figure the rest out on our own.” Dean sighed, looked at Sam for another moment, then looked back over at Jody and called her over. She held up a finger to the people in the BAU and walked back over to the boys. “Is there any way you can convince them to let us in on this?” Sam asked her.

“Suddenly you boys want to hunt serial killers?” Jody asked with raised eyebrows.

“Sam’s always been a sick fan of true crime,” Dean said to which Sam rolled his eyes.

“Dean still thinks it’s a werewolf,” Sam said, “and if he’s right, your agents aren’t going to have a clue what to do once they find him.” Jody looked at both boys before letting out another sigh.

“If this gets me fired,” she said, “it’s on both of your asses.”

When Jody walked back over to the BAU with both of the boys, (Y/N) looked at them carefully. Brothers. The one Jody introduced as Dean was older. The eye contact Sam made with the rest of the team implied his people skills were better than his brother’s. Their hands -visibly rough- meant they frequented hand-to-hand combat, which was somewhat uncommon for agents of any kind. Neither of them had holsters with a gun, so (Y/N) assumed they kept them in the back of their pants, if they were armed at all. Every agent she knew kept it in a holster when they were on the job. To her, and she was sure the rest of the team, these boys didn’t have any federal qualifications. So why the hell was Jody vouching for them? And what kind of experts were they?

While Jody was talking with the men, the team had been talking and creating a profile. “Jody, tell your chief we’re ready to give a profile,” (Y/N) told her. “We’ll regroup at the station.”

Once at the station, the BAU got the attention of the police officers. “Your unsub is a white male in his 30s,” Hotch said.

“He’s handsome,” Prentiss said, “and probably charming.”

“The women go with him willingly,” (Y/N) said. “There are no defense wounds on any of the victims.”

“All of the women were found with midazolam in their system,” Reid said. “That along with the precision of the cuts on the chest indicate he works in some sort of hospital. He has the skills and access to tools and medication.”

“The use of midazolam means his victims are awake while he’s removing their hearts,” Morgan said. “Midazolam is a sedative. It’s used to keep them drowsy, but still awake.”

“There’s no sexual component to these crimes,” Gideon said, “which means it’s more likely he’s trying to make a point. It might just be the sickest way this guy knows to make it.”

“We think he’s suffering from some form of borderline personality disorder,” Reid said. “So he thinks all relationships revolve around him. Looking at him, you wouldn’t notice anything odd about him.”

“Like we said,” Prentiss added, “charming. Only those who know him well would see any of the symptoms: intense bouts of drinking, anger, depression.”

“Sounds like you,” Sam muttered to Dean. Dean elbowed him in the ribs as Jody slapped the back of his head.

“Focus,” Jody said. Hotch dismissed everyone, and (Y/N) kept eyeing Jody and the Winchesters. Winchester. Something about the name wasn’t sitting right with (Y/N). She separated from the rest of the group and found herself calling Penelope.

“She who seeks the Queen of All Knowledge,” Garcia said, “speak and be recognized.”

“Can you keep a secret?” (Y/N) asked.

“Uh, not happily,” she said.

“I need you to look up some names for me,” (Y/N) said.

“And why is that a secret?” she asked.

“It’s not exactly part of the case,” she answered. “I just need you to jog my memory.”

“Alright,” she said. “Who are they?”

“Sam and Dean Winchester.”

“On it,” Garcia said. (Y/N) could hear her clicking away, and before she knew it, she spoke. “Brothers. Um, both died in 2012. Extensive criminal record. They were on our most wanted list when they were alive. Credit card fraud, breaking and entering, grave desecration, arson, grand theft auto, murder, kidnapping, assaulting an officer, and impersonation. Seems like they were bad news.”

“Right,” (Y/N) said with a nod. “Thanks. You’re the best, babe.”

“I know.”

The night came, and (Y/N) decided to leave the hotel the team was staying at to go pay Jody a visit. When she got there, she saw the lights on. She walked up to the door and lightly gripped her gun that was in her holster. She knocked on the door and waited for someone to come. As soon as the door opened and Sam answered, she pulled out her gun and held it up to him. Sam immediately put his hands up. “Step back,” she said. Sam did, and (Y/N) let herself into the house, keeping her gun aimed at Sam. “Jody!” she called.

Jody and Dean both came into the hallway then, and Jody’s eyes grew wide. “Okay, okay,” Jody said, slowly walking towards (Y/N). “Relax. Tell me what’s going on.”

“What’s going on,” she quipped, “is that this is Sam and Dean Winchester, and they died almost eight years ago. So what the hell are they doing in your house?”

“(Y/N), put your gun down,” Jody said. “I can explain everything.” She let her eyes flicker over to Jody before looking back at the giant of a man in front of her. Then she sighed and put her gun back in her holster. Sam put his hands down. “Can I get you a drink?” Jody said to her.

“I’m good,” she said.

“She’s gonna need a drink,” Dean said. She glared at him, but Jody must’ve agreed because she came back into the room and handed (Y/N) the beer.

“Okay,” (Y/N) said after taking a long drink of the beer. “What the hell’s happening?” Jody and Sam sighed, but Dean seemed unaffected.

“Your killer’s a werewolf.”

“Dean,” Sam scolded.

“What?” Dean said. “What better way is there to say it?”

(Y/N) just laughed. “You’re shitting me, right?” She looked at Jody. “Right?”

“Ten years ago, I would’ve said the same thing,” Jody said. “But then my son came back from the dead and killed my husband.”

“Came back from the dead?” (Y/N) repeated.

“Full on zombie action,” Dean said. (Y/N) drank another large gulp of her beer.

“Every monster you’ve ever heard of,” Sam said slowly, “what you were told as a kid? It’s all true. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons, they’re all real.”

“And you think,” (Y/N) said, “that this guy cutting hearts out is a werewolf.”

“We’re not entirely sure,” Sam said. “Werewolves eat hearts, but they don’t usually cut them out so meticulously.”

“Then why do you think it’s a werewolf?” she asked. “I’ve seen killers cut out hearts before, and they weren’t werewolves.”

“There have also been several cattle mutilations in the area,” Sam said. “All found missing their hearts.”

“So?”

“Werewolves can survive on animal hearts,” Dean said. “But they don’t prefer it.”

“So you think a werewolf suddenly lost his taste for cow hearts?” (Y/N) asked. “Caved to his true nature?”

“Could be,” Sam said.

“That still doesn’t explain the precision of the wounds,” she said, standing up from the couch now. She thought better when she paced. “You’re saying werewolves rip hearts out, right?” The boys and Jody nodded. “Then why does this werewolf exhibit so much restraint?”

Everyone was quiet for a moment as (Y/N) muttered softly to herself, thinking through the situation. “You believe us,” Sam observed. She stopped and turned to look at him. They were all studying her, and she sighed and sat back on the couch.

“My parents were murdered when I was 18,” she said. “You remember that, Jody?”

“Yeah,” Jody nodded. “I don’t remember the specifics, but-”

“They had small holes just under their ear,” (Y/N) continued, “and their brains-” She hesitated, drank some beer, and sighed. “Their brains had been sucked dry.” The boys looked at each other while (Y/N) continued to stare into space. “I spent my entire college career and now adult life studying people. Profiling killers and rapists and arsonists and pedophiles and-” She shook her head and finally looked up at the others. “-I have never once come across a person who had the ability to drain the brain out of another human. If you’re telling me monsters exist, then maybe I can make sense of what killed my parents.” Everyone was quiet, and Sam moved from his chair to sit next to her on the couch.

He cleared his throat. “It’s called a wraith.” She looked up at him, feeling tears in her eyes. “It’s, um, it’s a kind of monster that feeds on the liquid of the brain. They have spikes on their wrists that they inject in the victim to, to drain them.” She covered her mouth with her hand, and Sam hesitantly put his hand on her shoulder.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out. “Are you serious?”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. Her breath shook as she tried not to cry.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, putting her head in her hands. “Shit.” Sam hesitantly moved his hand from her shoulder to her back and rubbed it gently. “Shit, this is crazy. This is insane. I can’t-” She tried to catch her breath. She was an agent. She could handle this.

She sat up and looked at everyone. “How do you kill a werewolf?” she asked.

“Okay, we don’t even know for sure that it is a werewolf,” Sam said.

“But if it is,” she said.

“Silver bullet,” Dean said.

“Where do you get a silver bullet?” she said.

“We’ve got a bit of an arsonal,” Dean said. She raised her eyebrows.

“So, is this just what you guys do?” she asked. “You just kill monsters?”

“Pretty much,” Sam said.

“It’s a thankless business,” Dean said, to which Sam rolled his eyes. (Y/N)’s phone rang suddenly, and she jumped and picked it up.

“You got something?” she asked Morgan as soon as she answered.

“Hotch and Reid reinterviewed the kid, Charlie,” Morgan said. “He said he actually saw the unsub dumping the body. He thinks the guy might’ve seen him.”

“So that’s what spooked him into running,” she deducted.

“There’s more,” he said. “We got two more victims.”

“Two?” she repeated, standing up from the couch again.

“Yeah,” he said. “Where are you?”

“With Sherif Mills,” she answered.

“Well, bring her too,” Morgan said. “You’ll want to see this.”

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Where Skunk Creek meets 469th,” he said.

“Be right there.”

(Y/N) hung up the phone with Morgan and looked at Jody, Sam, and Dean. “They found more bodies,” she said.

“Plural?” Jody said.

“That’s what he said,” she said. “Let’s go.” Sam and Dean stood up as well, and (Y/N) held her hand up to stop them. “I’m surprised none of the others have recognized you yet,” she said. “You were on the most wanted list for years. If they’ve caught on by now, you’ll be arrested on sight.”

“So what, you want us to stay here?” Dean asked.

“I don’t want you to,” she said, “I’m telling you to.”

“Listen,” Dean said, taking a step closer to her. She didn’t back down. “I know you think you know everything about killers, but profiling isn’t going to help when your killer is a werewolf.”

“I’m saving you from federal prison,” she said back. “You should be thanking me.” Dean looked like he was going to say something again, but Sam stopped him.

“Thank you,” Sam said. “We’d still like to help however we can.”

“I can send you pictures of the scene,” she said. “Would you be able to tell me if there are any-” She hesitated. “-werewolf signs?” Sam cracked a smile. She took note of his dimples right away and felt her cheeks warm.

“Yeah,” he said. “We can spot werewolf signs.” (Y/N) hadn’t realized she was grinning like an idiot until Jody gently nudged her.

“Let’s go girl,” she said to her.

“Right,” (Y/N) said. “Okay. Let’s go.”

As soon as they both got in the car-

“Don’t say it, Jody,” (Y/N) said.

“No matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other,” she said, “your heart-eyes face has not changed.”

“Oh my god,” (Y/N) said, rolling her eyes as Jody pulled out of the driveway.

“I’m just saying,” she said, smiling. “Sam’s a good guy. A lot of baggage, a bit of a temper, but-”

“You’re sure good at selling him,” she said back.

Jody laughed. “He’s a good guy, (Y/N). You could do a lot worse.”

She sighed. “Let’s just focus on stopping this, this werewolf serial killer.”

The dump site looked completely different than the salvage yard. One victim was a female, heart cut out just like the first. The other-

“Male, 30s,” Morgan said. “It looks like the heart was literally-”

“-ripped out of the chest,” (Y/N) finished. Morgan looked at her as she crouched beside the body, using her gloved hand to move some of the fabric of the guy’s shirt. She gave Jody a look, silently telling her to distract the others. She caught on and moved them away from the bodies so (Y/N) could snap some pictures. She had gotten Sam’s phone number from Jody in the car, so she sent them to Sam with the message, This the kind of thing you’re looking for?

She rejoined the group just as they were discussing the case. “What changed?” Prentiss asked. “Why two victims? And why are they killed so differently?”

“He could be devolving,” Reid offered.

“No,” Gideon said. “There’s no way the same unsub did these two killings.”

“He found a partner,” Hotch said.

“You’re saying there’s two suspects now?” Jody asked.

“Look at this,” Gideon said, walking over to the bodies again. “These attacks, the method is completely different. The original unsub used the same method. He took his time. Carved carefully. He still has a point to make. The new unsub, they’re motivated by rage. They don’t have the same amount of patience.”

“But look,” (Y/N) said, grabbing the arm of the newly mutilated victim, “the man was still injected.”

“The first unsub is still in charge of collecting the victims,” Morgan said. “He drugs them and brings them to the second unsub. They kill together.”

(Y/N)’s phone rang, and she looked and saw it was Sam. She excused herself and stepped away from the group. “What’s up?” she said, answering the phone.

“You have two killers,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said. “We kind of just gathered that.”

“We think you were right with the first guy,” Sam said. “He wasn’t a werewolf. But he was collecting the hearts for the werewolf.”

“It would explain why there were cattle mutilations around town,” Dean added. (Y/N) realized she was on speaker. “The werewolf was getting hearts from cows, but the killer wanted to impress her, so he brought her human hearts.”

“The hearts aren’t trophies,” (Y/N) muttered, suddenly gaining clarity. “They were gifts.”

“Once the werewolf got a taste of human hearts, she couldn’t take cow anymore,” Sam said. “She wanted to join the hunt.”

“But the first unsub couldn’t stop the killing,” she added. “He’s gotten the taste for it. He’s hooked. So now they do it together.”

“We still don’t know who they are though,” Dean said.

“But we have enough,” she said. “Let me talk to my team. I’ll keep you posted.”

She walked back over to her team. “I think it’s a couple,” she said. “Recently divorced. The second unsub is his ex-wife. He got the hearts for her, and now she’s joining him in the hunts.”

“How is she ripping the hearts out?” Morgan asked.

“I’m not sure,” (Y/N) said, not being able to tell the full truth. She looked at Jody. “Can you think of any male physicians in town? Surgeons? Recently divorced, like, right before the killings started. Handsome, charming, but-”

“William,” Jody said. “William Barkley. He and his ex-wife just got divorced. Um, her name’s Bianca.”

“Do you have an address?” Gideon asked.

“Uh, not off the top of my head,” Jody said.

“On it,” Morgan said. He already had his phone pressed to his ear. “Garcia, I need an address for William Barkley in Sioux Falls.” He paused. “Thanks baby girl.” He looked at the rest of the group. “237 Duffron.”

Everyone got in their cars and sped off to the location. (Y/N) opted to ride with Jody. “We’re not equipped to fight a werewolf, Jody,” she said. “What are we doing?”

“Call Sam,” she said. “Give him the address. They can meet us there.”

“If my team recognizes-”

“The other option is we all get attacked by something they don’t understand,” she said. (Y/N) weighed the options quickly and picked up her phone, dialling Sam’s number. She spewed off the address.

“Don’t come in right away,” she said. “The werewolf might not even be there, and the last thing we need is two flannel wearing hillbillies to come in, guns blazing.”

“We’re not hillbillies,” Dean said.

“Do you always put your phone calls on speaker?” she asked.

Sam laughed. “We’ll meet you there.”

They sped off towards the house, and Morgan kicked the door open upon arrival. “William Barkley?” he called. “FBI!” They all made their way through the house, checking and clearing rooms. Suddenly, Prentiss shouted from the basement.

By the time (Y/N) got down there, they already had William in handcuffs. (Y/N) rushed over to help Prentiss release the two most recent victims. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” she said as one of the victims collapsed against her, shaking with sobs. “You’re safe. You’re okay.”

When they got the women into ambulances, (Y/N) jogged over to where they were putting William into a police car. “Where is Bianca?” she asked.

“I was just trying to show her,” he said, “show her I love her no matter what. No matter who she became.”

“Where, is, Bianca?” she pressed.

“I knew hunters were coming,” he said. “I knew they were onto her.”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Morgan asked.

“(Y/N), we have to bring him back to the station,” Hotch said.

“Hang on!” she snapped. “Did you tell her to run?” William nodded. “Where did she go?”

“If she was going to die,” he said, “I wanted her to see something beautiful. One last sunrise. One last happy memory.”

“I got it,” Jody said. “I know where she is.”

“Take (Y/N) with you,” Gideon commanded. (Y/N) and Jody ran back to the car, and (Y/N) called Sam. She put him on speaker so Jody could spew off Bianca’s location.

“Do not do anything until we get there,” Sam said. “Your bullets will do nothing against a werewolf.”

The boys drove fast, because the four arrived at the scene at the same time. “How do you know she’s here?” Dean asked as he and Sam stepped out of the Impala.

“William said something about a final sunrise,” she said. “This is the best spot in town to catch a good sunrise.”

“So you just ran with that?” Dean asked.

“I know my town,” Jody said. “Don’t start-”

“Sam!”

The younger Winchester spun around when (Y/N) called his name. His reflexes weren’t fast enough, and Bianca tackled him to the ground. (Y/N) knew she didn’t have the right kind of bullets to do any good, so she did the only thing she could think to do. She ran up to the pair and tackled Bianca off of Sam. On instinct, she tried to get Bianca on her stomach so she could cuff her, but Bianca was way stronger than she expected. She rolled them over so Bianca was on top, and she let out a growl that made (Y/N)’s stomach turn.

Pain seared through her shoulder and bicep when Bianca dug her claws into her skin. She let out a scream and squeezed her eyes shut. A shot rang out, and Bianca’s body fell off (Y/N). She winced and tried to catch her breath. One look down at her arm had her closing her eyes again. “Shit,” she whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Hey, hey,” Sam said, rushing over to her side. “You’re okay.”

“Did she bite me?” she asked. “Oh my god, can’t you turn into a werewolf from a bite? Oh my god. I don't want to-”

“No, no, hey, you’re good,” Sam said. It almost looked to (Y/N) like he wanted to laugh. “There’s no bite. It’s just a bad scratch. You’ll be okay.”

“Wow,” she breathed out. “This is the craziest day of my whole life.” She looked up at Sam, and he smiled and helped her sit up. “And you do this everyday?”

“We have some days off,” he said. She laughed, then winced at the pain. Jody and Dean jogged over to them. “Can you patch her up at your place?” Sam asked.

“No,” (Y/N) said. “You have to take me to a real hospital. My team’ll get suspicious if Jody does it.”

“What are you going to say?” Dean asked.

“That the unsub was crazy,” she said. “She had some claw-like weapon and that was what she used to rip the hearts out.”

“What happened to the weapon?” Sam asked hypothetically.

“I took it in as evidence,” Jody said. “The team doesn’t need to see it.”

“Glad we got our story straight,” (Y/N) said. “Can I go get stitches now?”

(Y/N) was in and out of surgery rather quickly. The team visited her in the hospital room, even though she knew she’d be released pretty quickly. “Guys, seriously,” she laughed, “I’m fine. Hell, I can meet you back at Quantico.”

“We’re not leaving you in South Dakota,” Morgan said. “We can stick around.”

“There’s not a lot to do in Sioux Falls,” she argued.

“Hey now,” Jody said, suddenly coming into the room, “if memory serves me, you found a lot of things to do when you grew up around here.”

“You knew (Y/N) when she was a kid?” Prentiss asked.

“Oh yeah,” Jody said with a smile.

“I have a lot of questions for you,” Morgan asked with a grin.

“You guys are the worst,” (Y/N) said. There was a soft knock at the frame of the door to (Y/N)’s hospital room, and everyone turned to look and found Sam and Dean. (Y/N)’s eyes grew wide.

If those idiots get busted-

“Hey,” Sam said. “Uh, I just, we just wanted to bring you these.” He handed her a bouquet of flowers, and she felt her cheeks turn warm as everyone looked at her.

“Thank you,” she said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“No, uh, I know,” Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just-”

There were a lot more people in the room than he expected there to be.

JJ cleared her throat. “(Y/N), we’ll be in the waiting room,” she said.

“Uh, no we won’t,” Morgan said. JJ rolled her eyes at him and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the room along with the rest of the team. Jody and Dean must’ve followed, because (Y/N) and Sam were soon alone.

“You seriously didn’t have to bring the flowers,” she told him again.

“No, I know,” he said again. “I just know seeing monsters for the first time can be a lot to handle, not to mention getting attacked by one.”

“When did you see your first monster?” she asked him. He chuckled dryly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I guess I was six months old,” he said.

“Jesus,” she said. “Do you remember it?” He gave a sad smile.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it,” he said.

“So you’ve been hunting your whole life?” she asked.

“Pretty much,” he said. “It’s kind of the family business.”

She nodded. “Do you like it?”

Sam scoffed. “It varies day to day.” He paused. “What about you? You like the BAU?”

She mimicked Sam’s scoff. “It varies day to day.”

“How about today?” he asked.

She smiled. “It’s not so bad.”

“Well, for the record,” he said, “if it ever gets old, you tackled a werewolf today. I think you could easily make it as a hunter.”

“Yeah?” she said. “Good to know.” Sam smiled again and cleared his throat.

“Alright,” he said. “Well, if you ever find yourself on a monster hunt again, give us a call.” He started to turn away, but (Y/N) said his name again.

“You know I read people for a living,” she said. Sam raised his eyebrows. “If you want to kiss me so bad, why don’t you just do it?” Sam’s face raised into a smirk, and he took one step back over to her. He leaned over and kissed her lips softly. She laid her hand on his cheek and smiled, kissing him back. When he pulled away, he hung his head with a slight laugh.

“You’re a pretty good profiler,” he said.

She smiled. “I know.”

(Y/N) bid farewell to Jody the next day, taking a rain check on dinner and promising to visit Sioux Falls again sooner rather than later. On the plane back to Quantico, everyone was pretty quiet, keeping to themselves. Suddenly, Gideon sat in front of (Y/N). “Flowers, huh?” he said. (Y/N) smiled, embarrassed, and looked at the bouquet Sam had given her that she decided to bring back with her. “You know,” he continued, “something about those boys wasn’t sitting right with me. I couldn’t shake the name. Winchester. Why did I know that name?”

Her heart fell to her stomach.

“Sir-”

“Then I realized,” he said, “it must just be those Winchester rifles.”

But (Y/N) was a profiler, and she could see through him. He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and folding his hands.

“I don’t know what happened when you went off with Sheriff Mills,” he said, “but I do know you weren’t alone.” She swallowed nervously. “I also know you came back in one piece,” he continued. He hesitated, looked out the window, then looked at her again. “I also know that some files in the system have inexplicably vanished. So if anyone looks up Winchester, all they’ll find is some history on those rifles.”

Her lips parted slightly, comprehending what he said. “Thank you,” she whispered. Gideon gave her a fraction of a smile.

“For what?”

-

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win” - Stephen King

----- ----- ----- -----

TAGLIST

@bangtan-serendipity | @planetdemon | @the-singing-clown406 | @tomshufflepuff | @bluelalal | @grandloser | @jackiehollanderr | @mindset-jupiter | @bisexual-sk8r | @feel-like-gold | @runaway-apple | @miraclesoflove | @marvelismylifffe| @wonderbyers | @coraz0ndcristal| @lizmarvel | @delicately-important-trash | @superhoorny4daddy​

If you want to be taken off the list (or be put on for only certain people) just message me and let me know!

[readitreviewit]

Are you afraid of the dark? Well, if you're not, you might be after reading Briar Glen by Andrea Krug. This thrilling novel will have you on the edge of your seat, biting your nails down to stubs. Trust me, I know from experience. The story takes place in the small, picturesque town of Briar Glen, which is plagued by a dark history of murders that occur every seven years, but the most recent killings are different from the last ones. Agent Blake Wilder, a young and brilliant FBI agent, is called to investigate the murders in Briar Glen. But, as she spends more time in the town, she realizes that this place is not what it seems. The book opens with a chilling prologue that sets the tone for the rest of the story. It's the retelling of a murder that took place years ago, and it's not a pretty picture. The details are gruesome, and it's the first indication that this book is not for the faint of heart. The character of Blake Wilder is an interesting one. She has a dark past, having witnessed the murder of her parents as a child and the kidnapping of her younger sister. She's determined to find her sister and solve her parents' murder, and her work with the FBI is a means to that end. Blake is smart, tough, and resourceful, but she's also haunted by her past. Her grit and determination to solve the case make her a likable protagonist. The supporting characters are well fleshed-out, and their relationships with each other add depth to the story. There's the local sheriff, Ron, who's torn between his duty to his town and his need to get to the bottom of the murders. There are also the townspeople, who are suspicious of outsiders and have secrets to hide. The plot twist towards the end of the book is a real shocker, and it will leave you reeling. I won't spoil it for you, but trust me, it's a doozy. The ending of the book is satisfying but also leaves room for a sequel, which is always a plus. Krug's writing style is easy to read, and she has a knack for building suspense. The book is a page-turner, and once you start reading, you won't be able to put it down. The descriptions are vivid, and you can practically feel the chill of the sea breeze and see the dark shadows in the alleys. In conclusion, Briar Glen is a fantastic debut novel from Andrea Krug. It's a spine-tingling read that will have you questioning your own sanity at times. The characters are well-drawn, and the plot is well-paced. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a good mystery or thriller. Just be sure to read it with the lights on! "Don't miss out on the transformative insights and thrilling story of [Book Title]! Grab your copy now and discover why readers and critics alike are raving about it. Or, if you prefer to listen on-the-go, sign up for a FREE 30-day trial of Audible and experience the power of the story through expert narration. Don't delay, start your journey today!" Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details)

[nerdpiggy]

Tell us about your ocs!! I'm genuinely curios bc of the tags

[ID: Meme of Hatsune Miku smiling. Top text reads "Thanks for sending me a message". Bottom text reads "You're very cute and I will be replying to you".]

Robin "Robbie" Fuller: The character i play in a DND campaign.

they/them pronouns. they're nonbinary and asexual and don't care to label their romantic attraction.

They're 22 years old and 5'9" (175cm)

Their birthday is November 12th. they're a scorpio

They started off as a Mundane MOTW character and they're now a level 7 warlock in DND. They're a human

They live in a small coastal town in massachusetts called Holyoak and they go to the local college to learn culinary. They live in a single dorm and they have a cute widdle black cat named Chickadee

One day (for various reasons) their life was flip-turned upside down with discovering the existence of monsters, portals, different dimensions, and rifts in spacetime

One of the reasons for them discovering all of this was them meeting a man named Thomas who's a human from a different dimension called the Palisades. He's a well-known Judge over there. (Thomas is @bevtastic 's character)

Robbie gets an offer to join the Interdimensional Defence Agency (IDA), says fuck it and accepts, and Robbie and Thomas stay friends by virtue of their similar jobs.

Robbie is tasked to go to a different dimension (A half-medieval half-wild west desert town called Argyle) to stop a threat that was growing there. Threat turned out to be a massive mind-controlling dragon who wanted revenge for the rest of her dragon species that were killed off by medieval "heroes". Robbie was not cut out for this as their first job. They (with help) subdue the dragon eventually but not before she burned down multiple towns including Argyle to a crisp. Robbie feels very bad about this.

Robbie, Thomas, and the rest of the party receive a mysterious letter leading them to an old abandoned mansion in Holyoak and get roped into a rescue mission to save Thomas's old friend Percy who has apparently been bodysnatched by a bad guy and trapped somewhere for what felt like thousands of years. This is the arc where we switched from Monster of the Week to DND, and Robbie gets connected to a nature deity Adelaide through a purple necklace. They also get a familiar, who is an owl with pitch-black feathers and glowing yellow pupilless eyes that Robbie named Mr. Muffins.

Robbie and Thomas become very good friends :)

Thomas dies.

Robbie goes to the Palisades to find out what happened to him. Turns out he wanted to reveal the secret of interdimensional travel to the public and work to make it open, free, and safe. The people in charge did not allow him to do this by legal means so he aimed to do it illegally, which was when he was murdered by a group of bandits.

On top of that, one of the main reasons why he wanted to reveal the different dimensions is because there is a HUGE interdimensional threat coming our way, and we need to act on it if we want to live.

Percy finds Robbie and asks them to help with this threat, who apparently is a singular person named Siris that has been locked in a prison for thousands of years and somehow got out. Robbie doesn't have much of a choice and accepts.

In the Palisades, there are monsters called Behemoths. they emerge from people who get bitten by a behemoth or who touch the black tar-like substance that runs like rivers in certain areas of the Palisades. During a battle, Robbie gets bitten by a Behemoth, and now they're a candidate for Behemism (aka turning into big giant monster syndrome).

Because Robbie has Behemism and Siris is part of the reason for Behemism existing, they're mind roommates now. Robbie and Siris do not get along very well.

There's more to Robbie but this is their main backstory!!!

[ID: a drawing of Robbie holding a chrysanthemum. They have short pink curly hair, and they're wearing a yellow floral button-up and a purple necklace. They have bandages on their freckled face and they're looking down at the chrysanthemum with a neutral expression.]

Emile Azarel: A character i play in a different campaign that does MOTW.

He/him pronouns, he's trans, demisexual, and demiromantic.

He's 19 and he's 5'3

He doesn't know his actual birthday but the day he celebrates is January 23rd

His MOTW class is The Expert. He's a fire genasi

He was born in central Russia but he doesn't know his parents well because when he was ~8 months old there was a big monster attack that unfortunately killed his parents. A monster hunter named Avery Azarel found Emile, took him in and raised him.

Emile learned to hunt monsters with Avery and the two traveled around together as monster hunters.

Eventually Emile wished to have a solid place to live rather than constantly traveling, because he wanted friends. He found a town in the pacific northwest called Salmon Peak that had everything he wanted: Russian culture, a fairly small easy-to-get-around layout, and some very weird mysteries going on. (Just because Emile wanted to settle didnt mean he wanted to stop monster hunting!)

He moved to Salmon Peak and has met a bunch of new friends! He's also learning more and more about the town, which is turning out to be somehow even weirder than he expected.

Emile is a very sweet, polite boy, but considering the fact that he's only ever been around one person mainly for his entire life, he has a bit of a ways to go when it comes to interacting with people. The monster hunting life means that when there's a monster, you kill it and that usually solves all your problems. Emile has transferred this logic to people as well (if they're a monster, kill em!) and he's learning through friend influence that maybe human lives are a bit more sacred than that.

His favorite color is blue because he loves the sky!

A lot of people underestimate his skills because he's little and looks very young, but he is a very good monster hunter. Because of Avery (the best monster hunter in the biz), his last name has a bit of a reputation.

Emile is blind, autistic, and has vitiligo!

I have much more planned for Emile but I can't say it here because it is MAJOR spoilers!

[ID: a drawing of Emile walking forward. He is wearing a blue shirt with stars on it, blue jeans, a fluffy white jacket, a belt with a star on it, star earrings, a moon necklace, and black shoes. His blue hair is swaying behind him and he's holding a white cane with a red tip. He's smiling slightly.]

Avery Azarel: Emile's parent! I've not played them as a character yet but I've made a character sheet for them.

they/them pronouns. They're agender, aromantic, and pansexual

their age is (???) and their height is 5'7

they have a birthday but nobody knows when it is

Their MOTW class is The Chosen. they appear human

They're widely considered the best monster hunter in the biz. Their name is well-known and they're requested for help all around the world

Because of this, they're constantly traveling and having a house would not make sense. They just pack their things, stay at motels/hotels/etc., camp in the woods and move around to wherever people need them.

Since they've been pretty much everywhere, they always seem to know at least one person from each town. They never seem to get too close to anyone, though

They are fluent in many different languages!

In the past they were paired up with another monster hunter and they made a great duo. That was a couple decades ago; they go solo now.

Years ago, an unexpected and incredibly destructive monster rampaged a small town in Central Russia. Avery came as fast as they could (they were nearby in the area) but they still couldn't finish off the beast before it tore the whole town to shreds. Dozens of homes were crushed, but surprisingly most people survived, with the exception of a couple of people who died under the rubble. Avery felt awful (this was their biggest failure in a while), and as they were searching through the rubble for any more casualties they found little baby Emile, miraculously unscathed. They took him in and raised him from then on.

Nobody, not even Emile, knows very many details about Avery's childhood, their family, their age, or really any information about them. (Emile has been trying to figure out Avery's birthday for AGES so they can celebrate, but Avery has refused to budge)

Their main weapon is 2 pairs of bolas! those are those chains with 2 balls on either end, usually made to be thrown at people's legs to restrain and trip them. they use the bolas both as restraining tools and as their main weapon, because i think weapons where you spin them really fast in front of you are cool

There's a scar over their left eye; whenever someone asks how they got it they always spin a different elaborate tale of an epic monster battle. Nobody knows which (if any) is the true story

there is a WHOLE LOT that I am leaving out if you couldn't tell. There's a huge chunk of their past that I'm leaving out because it's all a big bundle of spoilers. Someday I will be able to elaborate more on Avery!

[ID: a picrew made by djarn of Avery. They're smiling, their head is tilted slightly, and there's a scar over their left eye. Their hair is tied half-up half-down. They're wearing a black shirt with "òwó" on it and a blue jacket with an aromantic flag pin and a pansexual flag pin. the background is an agender flag.]

These are my main OC's! I have more (Orion, Nottwyrm, "Noodlearms", etc.) but these 3 are the main ones that I post about. :3 thank u for asking!!!

If you have any questions about any of my characters I always welcome asks!!! 💖

[officialleehadan]

Three Sparks and a Book

“I need to find someone who’s being hidden under a ward,” Cora said as she stormed into the local Magical Defense Agency with the authority of a senior agent and the outrage of a woman on a mission. Lisette and Rao trailed her, both as angry as she was, but willing to bow to her authority for the sake of finding Callen all the faster. “Get me three good spell-slingers, a scrying bowl, and someone who knows about demon pacts. Move.”

The office as a collective, froze at the sight of her large, definitely-demonic-looking companion and his equally angry but probably-human companion, and then unfroze as Cora’s words cut through their shock. 

It really was gratifying to scatter junior agents like that, but fortunately, the Agency was a well-oiled machine that could move quickly when it had to.

Most major magical issues needed some haste to them. If a senior agent stormed in making demands, it was usually better to give them what they wanted and ask questions later.

“What are we doing here?” Rao asked as Cora led them to one of the workrooms kept aside for whatever spells might need a clear area to work them. “We should be going after Cal.”

“We are,” Cora promised him seriously. “But you told me when we landed that you couldn’t get a bead on him. Whatever Breton’s up to, he’s got a hell of a sorcerer keeping him hidden. Can’t get Cal if we can’t find him.”

“I could probably get through.”

“Faster than three specialists working together?”

His silence was telling. Cora forced a smile that wasn’t very sincere, but he nodded back, and forced his demonic nature a little further under the skin. It didn’t really make him less scary, but at least he looked approximately human. 

Fortunately, the sorcerers of the agency were used to dropping their work and coming at a run when an agent yelled for them. The scrying bowl, which was a wide, shallow silver bowl big enough to bathe in, was only a minute behind them, rolled by someone Cora vaguely recognized from the archives.

“I’m Kelsie. Demonology specialist,” the woman introduced herself, and shoved her glasses up her nose as she stared at Rao with open admiration. “Look at you! Oh, you’re gorgeous. I never thought I would see a real demon in person!”

“I’m only half-demon,” Rao said, uncomfortable with the hungry stare, and actually took a half-step behind Cora. He was immense, even with his demon nature hidden, and Cora stifled a laugh at the thought of her giant boyfriend using her as a shield. “Boots?”

“You find his pact-mate, and I’ll make sure you get an interview with both of them,” Cora said to the demonologist, and turned to the three sorcerer, who were looking moderately confused. “Alright people, here’s the problem. Breton Tor isn’t dead, and has kidnapped his son, Callen Tor, using his sister as leverage. This is Lisette Tor. Yes, she’s the famous model. Ask for selfies after you find her brother. This is Rao Byrn, Callen’s pact-mate. I share a prophesy with him and Callen. Now, there’s a lot of spellcaster genius in this room. Use it to find Callen. The clock is ticking.”

“I assume you tried to track him through the bond already?” One of the sorcerers, who was named Alice, if Cora remembered right. “Good shields to block that. Hey, Jan. you’re good on wards.”

“Not so good at breaking them as putting them up,’” Jan admitted, brow furrowed and fingers twisting her hair into an ornate braid, which was clearly a long-practiced fidget. “But maybe if we can find the ward, we can shoot a dispelling through and break it?”

“Gotta find it first,” the third sorcerer said, and proffered a hand for Cora to shake. “Leo. I’m new. Good call on the scrying pool. Kelsie, demon pacts. They can’t be blocked, right? Byrn, you can still feel your pact-mate, but you can’t find him, am I right?”

“Getting’ emotions, but can’t send anything back an’ can’t get more than a direction on him,” Rao confirmed, calmer now that they had help that knew what they were doing. Lisette’s sharp gaze flew across the room, and she stayed close to Cora’s shoulder, one hand hovering near the gun hidden under layers of floofy skirt,. Cora didn’t envy anyone who tried to hit either of them faster than Lisette could pull that weapon. “He’s not across water, and he’s within a hundred miles. Probably within the city. Breton’s a lot of things but creative ain’t one. He likes to work on familiar ground.”

“Alright,” Cora took command. “Tracing spells. We have a pact, a family member, and a prophesy. Can we use any of those to track him?”

“Follow the Pact,” Kelsie offered, and knelt by the scrying pool as it filled from a handy tap set into the wall for just that purpose. The other sorcerers took her words in, and Cora held her silence. This wasn’t her brand of magic. There was a reason she called for experts. “Use the Pact as a guide. Byrn is connected to one end. Callen Tor is connected to the other. Follow it, and that’ll give us a where.”

“And once we know where he is, we can crack the wards,” Leo said decisively, and looked at Cora. “There’s one problem that we haven’t discussed. Cracking wards is noisy, magically speaking. Breton, or whoever is holding the ward, will know it’s happening.”

“Which puts Cal in danger,” Lisette spoke for the first time, face pale and drawn. “He’s disposable meat. Breton will kill him if he thinks it’ll keep him from getting caught.”

“Gotta be sneaky,” Rao agreed, and edged closer until Lisette could lean into his shoulder. “Hey, Sparky Two. No, not you. The other one. The other other one.”

“Me?” Jan asked dubiously, and Rao nodded. “Uh, sure. What can I do for you?”

“Can a Null turn off a ward?”

“If they get close enough to touch it, probably so. Why?”

Rao turned to Alice and Kelsie. “You. Sparky One. think you can find Cal through our Pact?”

“I think so,” Kelsie said with a shared look at each other. “In theory, it makes sense. You’re bonded. We just have to follow that to the other end of your bond.”

“Good, Sparky Three. You any good at portals?”

“Very good,” Leo answered, correctly guessing that Rao meant him. He was the first to figure out what the half-demon was after. “Oh, that’s clever. Yeah, okay. We can do that.”

“Want to fill in the non-magic user in the room?” Lisette demanded, and pulled a coin out to flip over her fingers. Cora recognized it as the same trick Callen used to calm himself, and wondered which of them started doing it first. “What’s the plan?”

“Alice and Kelsie follow the pact-bond from Byrn to your brother,” Leo explained clearly, much to Cora���s relief. “Jan, you and I use their tracer spell to drop Agent Smoke just outside the ward where she can Null it. Should be much faster than just breaking the ward.”

“And wards that powerful have to be localized,” Jan picked up the explanation. “They take too much power to be big unless you have like, a hundred mages feeding it power the way we do here at the Agency. We all rotate powering it up, or it could never cover the whole building like it does.”

“Right,” Cora said, proud of her Agency. It was a tough problem, and they figured it out faster than she dared hope was possible. “We’ve got the problem solved. Let’s get to work.”

+++

Secondhand Souls:

Solving a murder is rarely easy, but a sorcerer with a vendetta and his half-demon best friend complicate things.

Cora still hasn’t decided whether or not to shoot them both and blame it on whoever happens to be handy.

Partnership of Flames

Barroom Brawl

Lox of Trouble

Attack on Blue

Busted Engine

Dragon Curry

Territory Negotiations (Free on Patreon)

Word Salad

Rumble and Roll (Subscriber-Only!)

Prophesy Burning

Fly Out (Subscriber Only!)

Waver in the Air

Over Troubled Water

+++

More Stories!

+++

[harlot-of-oblivion]

Okay so I’m sitting here outlining the Dante/Detective Reader I wanna get started on soon and I thought I’d share some of my notes with ya’ll: 

-You’re a detective for the Red Grave Police in the middle of a string of odd murder/missing persons investigation.

-Your gut, as well as the obvious signs at the various crime scenes, tells you that the culprit isn’t human. It is Red Grave City after, known for its constant problem with demons. But there just isn’t enough physical evidence to back up your claim. 

-So, you convince your superior that it would be wise to consult with an expert about such matters...the closest one being the notorious mercenary known as Dante at Devil May Cry. 

-And ooooooooh buddy he got quite the colorful profile with the local police in that city. Most of what you glean from it is that he’s a womanizing playboy who shows no concern for the well being of the others and that he’s highly dangerous. 

-But after doing a bit of your own investigation...you decide that he’s more of a flirty troublemaker with a pension of devil hunting. And some damn good successful devil hunting at that. His expertise is exactly what you need to end these violent murders.

-And with that you ride off to find him, Dante the Legendary Devil Hunter, in hopes of finally solving this puzzling case. 

[the--sad--hatter]

Game Of Survival - 9 (Bucky x Reader)

@jsmith509

FANDOM - MARVEL

PAIRING - BUCKY X FEM!READER

WARNINGS - SMUT, VIOLENCE, ANGST, VERY GRAPHIC BLOOD AND GORE, SWEARING, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

DESCRIPTION -

The Executioner - Killer of Killers, the monster that hunts monsters, the bad-guys bogeyman.

It’s a title you earned and one that you cherish. Your goals are justified, your methods are not. But when a simple murder turns into a suicide and you are left clutching a flash drive with a terrible secret on it, you find yourself caught up in a mystery that you can’t solve alone. You turn to the professionals, the experts, the heroes. The Avengers.

With the lives of everyone in the world suddenly at stake, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes have no choice but accept your help and Bucky Barnes quickly finds himself drawn in by you. He never much believed in love, let alone love at first sight so it figures he’d be proven wrong in such a spectacular way.

Masterlist

Chapter Nine

Once you were in the suite you gave it a thorough checking over, looking for anything out of the ordinary. The bedroom/lounge were clean, as was the bathroom and you went about stowing weapons around the room before you set up the laptop that had been in your small go bag.

You quickly identified the local WiFi’s available and decided on one for a bookshop a couple of doors down, clicking on it with the encryption program you were running so the IP would be run through several countries in a longs, convoluted loop. You logged into the cuisine blog you’d set up and clicked on the inbox, scrolling through the messages. No leads yet, but it had only been an hour or so since you’d left your bloody request. With a few strokes of the keyboard you quickly looked through all your assets and made sure everything was in order before you turned the screen to black and grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower.

 You were in the process of rinsing conditioner out of your hair when you heard Bucky come in the room, calling out to let you know it was him.

 “We need to talk.” He said as soon as you walked into the room, dressed in sweatpants and a tanktop and towel drying your hair.

 “They wouldn’t have let me in if I had you with me. Best case scenario they would have thought you were a stranger, worst case scenario they would have recognized you.” You told him coolly.

 He wasn’t thrown by the fact that you automatically knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, both of you knew the conversation was inevitable.

 “Did you know you were going to kill someone before you went in?” He asked, staring you down with unrestrained ire.  

 “Yes.” You said simply.

 “Are you sure that’s not the reason you left me behind?” He challenged.

 “Would you have just stood by and let me do it?” You challenged back teasingly.

 “You think you’re the only killer here? Everyone on The Avengers has blood on our hands, some of us more than others.” He snapped.

 “If you have to kill someone you’ll do it, I know. But you don’t take pleasure in it, I do. You might have let me kill her but you would have drawn the line at me pinning her down and cutting her tongue out and forcing her to choke to death on her own blood. Or am I wrong about you?” You flung the towel down and met his eye, waiting for him to back down.

 “You might take pleasure in what you do but that’s not why you do it. You killed ‘her’ that way for a reason, for a purpose. I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

 “Easy to say that after the fact but you and your merry men are far too uncomfortable with what I do to sanction it.” You told him.

 “It’s not the things you do or even how you do them that makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s the lack of remorse. People love their guilt, they get attached to their demons and then you waltz in, stained with blood and not a trace of regret in your eyes. It’s disconcerting.” He tried to explain, almost desperate to make you understand.

 “Are you attached to your demons Bucky?” You asked him.

 “I’m learning to live with them. The question is doll, where the hell are your demons?” He rebutted.

 “I am my demons.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~Fifteen Years Ago~~~~~~~~~~

 There was an axe hanging over your head and you were waiting for it to drop.

 It wasn’t a metaphor.

 It had been six hours that you’d been stood there, waiting for the rope to be cut and the axe to fall.

 “If you fail this test, you will die. Do not fail.” Your father told you before he left the room.

 As you waited you listened. Voices carried in old houses like these and you could hear most of what was being discussed in your father office next door.

 “You’re too harsh with the girl, you’re going to break her before she even comes of age and then where will we be? It’s not as if you can produce another heir, not one that can unite the clans anyway.” Your uncle warned.

 “She is my only hope for a legacy, I would rather see her die than let my legacy pass to someone unworthy. If you commit to something you must remain unwavering in your resolve. Once you turn down a path there is no turning back. It is dangerous to allow yourself the luxury of changing your mind, it leads to self-doubt and self-doubt leads to mistakes.” Your father replied calmly.

 When he spoke there was an eerie silence that followed and the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end.

 The axe dropped.

 Your father and uncle opened the door between the rooms to see you stood there, holding the axe in your hands.

 “She didn’t move until it fell and she caught it.” One of your fathers goons, the one who had been charged with watching you reported.

 “Well done. You have completed your education, now you are ready to learn from me. From now on, I will teach you. You will learn everything I know.” You father decreed.

  ~~~~~~~~~~Today~~~~~~~~~

 “Where the hell did you come from Ex? What’s your story?” He asked you, advancing on you until you were forced to crane your neck to look up at him.

 “It doesn’t really matter. What I am isn’t a result of how I was raised Bucky. The fact I do what I do so well is because of my upbringing, but what I am was a choice.” You sighed.

 “If it’s a choice, you can change your mind.” He implored.

 “I didn’t say it was my choice.” You laughed humourlessly.

 “Your fathers?” He guessed.

 “No. I wanted to be what you’re trying to make me into, once upon a time. But a very smart man told me I wasn’t a hero and he was right.” You said heavily, something almost close to remorse flitting across your face as you spoke.

 “Who?” He frowned.

 “It doesn’t matter, he’s dead.” You said, clenching your jaw.

 “It matters if he’s still in your head.” Bucky told you softly.

 Your expression went cold and you huffed out disappointedly at him, shaking your head wryly.

 “You claim to be ok with what I do but the second you sensed a weakness, you pounced.” You chastised.

 Bucky stormed away when he realized you’d played him again. Your little moment of sadness for what could have been was a test and he’d failed. Every conversation he had with you solved a little bit more of the puzzle but somehow he always ended up with even more pieces to try and find a place for, more to solve. But the more complicated it got, the more he wanted, the more he needed to figure it out.

 You ignored his inner struggle and typed in the password to unlock your laptop, checking the inbox.

 There was one message there. One important message.

 “Just give me something, anything.” He pleaded.

 “What?” You frowned.

 “Tell me something true, something real about you.”

 “I can tell you The Executioner will kill again, tonight. We have a lead. Are you in or are you ready to admit defeat and go home?”

 “Tell me one thing about you, just one. Prove to me that this isn’t just some game to you and I’ll come with you tonight and I’ll do things your way.” He offered.

 You knew he was changing tactics but you couldn’t quite figure out what his new angle was and that excited you.  

 You smirked as you mulled it over, deciding whether or not to grant his request. You crossed the room to him, noting how he froze the closer you were to him until he was perfectly still as you stretched up, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered a single word to him. His sharp intake of breath was loud in the otherwise silent room as he realized what you had said, what you had told him and he looked down at you with wonder.

 You had just told him your name.

_______________________________________________________

This chapter ended up shorter because the name reveal lost it's impact if I tried to make it longer. The next chapter will be longer and more actioney.

Bucky and Ex are apparently both playing their own games, I wonder how that's going to play out?

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