#if you know me you know i love to 'eat the crackers' and complain

[theoldmixer]

it’s super annoying that when you look at the works in the kinkmeme and sort by kudos it’s just moeexyz, merseydreams and Javelinbk over and over. Why don’t other authors ever get kudos?

Not sure what you want me to say anon. I started the kink meme to help inspire and bring together the fandom, not pull us apart--this seems to be going against the spirit of that.

I will say that I do my best to try and promote all fics in the kink meme, but not everyone submits it so I don’t always see them then. (Hint hint please submit your fics if you filled a prompt so I can help to promote them!)

Someone once submitted something breaking down the stats of the "top" fics in the kink meme and I chose not to post it. I didn’t see much point and I didn’t want to show that that really mattered. I'd rather help people find a new fic or prompt, not to show off how many comments or kudos certain fics get.

I also don’t put too much stock in kudos. Kudos don’t always mean those are the best fics or even a fic you might like. Everyone has their own preferences of fics and everyone has their own reasoning too why they give kudos. It looks like the fic authors you mentioned have a lot of fics and a lot of fics with multi chapters, sometimes thats how it goes. If you have a multi chaptered fic you may get more kudos simply because the likelihood of someone seeing it and giving kudos is higher because it's being updated and at the top frequently. Also if you write a lot of fics people start to recognize your name.

I will read fics if they sound good from the description not by how many kudos they have. I do think how you tag your fics and the summary can help get people to read your fic too. I have been turned off from many a fic because of too many tags or from a description like "this is bad but enjoy."

I don't know what you wanted to hear anon, but I'd rather have an idea of how the kink meme can help promote fics (or maybe help people tag their fics better or give tips on how to write a better summary!). i.e. ways bring the community together and support all fic writers instead of just complaining that some people's fics seem more popular than others. I'm welcome to any ideas!

[fraugwinska]

Since @chefskjssart's artwork that I commissioned was such a BANGER, I felt like I needed to do something to show my gratitude. So, I messaged her and gave her free choice over a little One-Shot I'd gift her. And that's how we ended up here :D Where are my little TV Sluts at? You can thank Chef - and I hope you all have fun ;>

NSFW - Explicit Sexual Content - Minors DNI - 5.7k words

"Gotta say, Val, the revenue of your movies really skyrocketed this quarter, fuck me."

Vox flipped through the quarterly reports, eyebrows raised and a grin on his face while Valentino, very pleased with himself, lounged on the chaise next to Vox's desk, smoking.

"I told you I've made a good investment." He grinned and blew out a puff of smoke. "All the horny bitches out there are eating my movies up."

"It's more than that, you're even making headway into other rings, holy shit! We've even got a foot in the Lust Ring market, which is almost impossible with that kind of competition..."

Valentino hummed approvingly.

"And the best part: I didn't have to do much." He added and let the tip of his cigarette rest against his lips, his grin widening. "My newest author is a kinky little genius."

Vox turned his attention to the papers again, his smile slowly turning into a frown as he scanned the declining sales in Voyeurscopes.

"What are you talking about? All of your authors write pretty much the same shit, what could be so special about-"

Valentino laughed and shook his head. "That one is - believe me, carino. Poor bitch has the mind of a succubus on crack but she can't get off."

Vox looked up, an eyebrow raised in skeptic questioning.

"Can't get off?"

"Can't feel anything. Can't cum for the life of her." He replied, leaning back and spreading his arms. "Numb like a fucking dead fish."

"Or maybe she just hasn't found a good dick." Vox mumbled, returning back to the reports, skimming over the numbers.

"Mh, you be the judge amorcito. Because I tried." Valentino growled, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

Now that got Vox's full attention. The TV demon stared at his partner for a few seconds of silence, then laughed maniacally, almost falling off his chair while Val rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Fucking weird little thing, she is. She can write the craziest shit, the hornier the better. Writes like a damn porn beast, but has no clue what good sex actually feels like."

Vox heaved, wiping his screen as if in tears.

"Ohoho, Christ on a Cracker Val, maybe you've been out of the business too long… are you maybe losing that golden touch?"

Valentino sneered. "Ay, and you think you would've been able to get that bitch to cum? Be my guest, I'll gladly watch you fail."

Vox grinned at the moth, his eyes dangerously teasing. The reports were long forgotten - this was too entertaining, and Vox loved to be challenged, because he loved the feeling of superiority he felt when he succeeded. And that feeling would be so much more satisfying when he'd beat his long time partner and porn prince of pride at his own expertise.

"Wanna up the ante? Make a little wager out of it?"

Valentino scoffed, then chuckled deviously. He took another drag from his long cigarette, his cerise teeth glistening with red saliva as he began to drool in anticipation.

"You know I like to play, Voxxy. Especially if the odds are so much in my favor."

Another script done.

Your best one yet, if anyone asked you. But you knew no one asked ever, so why bother?

You stood up from your desk in your private office - being Val's favorite pen pet had it's perks afterall.

You skipped the stage of employment where you'd be cramped in one of these horrible cubicles together with the other overworked, caffeinated and tired writers, typing another outdated secretary-fuck-fest-plot while the other employees complained about their last bad lay and the shitty pay.

At least you didn't have to deal with any of that. Your room was quiet and peaceful, the door able to be locked shut and the walls soundproof. No distractions, no chit chat, no loud coworkers or malfunctioning printer noises. Just the humming sound of your computer, and the whirring of the A/C Val had granted you - a luxury that most of your colleagues bitched about behind your back.

You stretched, your tired bones popping into place and you sighed. You were done for the day. Finally.

With the deadline looming over you, you had been a bit late with the last part, and the thought of being late with your work made you sick. But Val pressed for another banger (pun intended) like your last one, 'Dante's Infern-Hoe' and you didn't want to risk the benefits you were offered so temptingly by being sloppy.

But the script for 'The Devil wears Nada' sat now, freshly printed, next to your laptop, the file saved locally and in the cloud, with about an hour to spare still. You smiled, content and relieved. An hour of paid slacking off was nice, and you checked with a glance that the electric door still was set on LOCKED before you flopped down at the two-seater by the window, grabbing the remote from the small side table and turned on the TV.

A familiar voice spoke through the speakers, and you relaxed into the pillows with a small sigh, eyes closed.

As shitty as the program in Hell was, one thing it had going for it was Vox. That smooth, hypnotizing voice of the overlord that held pride's media empire in his claws was a delight to your ears, and even the mindless, overplayed commercial jingles were pleasant enough if he was the one narrating them.

For the millionth time, it seemed, your hand wandered under the hem of your pants, fingers rubbing lazily at your cunt, as you listened to him talk, advertising the latest angelic protection device that didn't do what he promised it to do.

It was insanity at this point, doing something over and over again expecting a different outcome. Every night your fingers were cold and wet with your slick and your clit bloody and raw while you felt nothing of even your most violent and feverish touches, trying for minutes to hours to experience a sensation you wrote daily about without the satisfaction of any remarkable buildup or release.

It was no use, you knew it was a fruitless attempt, just like all the others. The most you got out of your endless tries was a slight tingle one time where you were so desperate you fucked yourself with an electric rod on its highest setting, resulting in a power outage in your apartment and a big fat fine from your landlord a few days later.

Still, you craved it. Craved to one day feel at least something. After the disappointing One-Night-cannot-Stand-the-thought-of-it with your boss, the literal porn mogul you were ready to just give up. If the face of pride’s sexdrive couldn’t get you over the edge, was there any chance at all?

Valentino had been the last in a long line of desperate attempts, paartners ranging from incubi, paid whores, porn actors to even sexbots made by Asmodeus, costing you a pretty penny just for the hassle of trying to get through the return hotline to get your money back, explaining No, you don’t know how it was possible that the cock of the ‘Fuckboy 3.0 XXL’ broke into pieces after one time usage. 

You chuckled humorlessly at the memory - It was truly a pathetic time in your eternal existence, filled with you masturbating alone in bed like a sad porn star, yearning to experience sex like you wrote about in your scripts. Maybe this was hells way to punish you for your sins, your personal plan of torture - To never experience the very thing that possessed you on the daily.

The television droned on in the background, Vox advertising his latest technological developments; new features on your phone that you really could not care less about. Despite his unusual appearance, Vox was one of your absolute go-to Stand-in's for your plot protagonists. Charming, suave, depraved when called for and a dominating, thorough lover that took what he wanted, but with so much skill that his partner would cum threefold before he'd even begin to think about finishing. Cocky and yet sensual. Aftercare included. All the things your colleagues were too dumb to include, no wonder their scripts were a bust.

Yes, it was hell and therefore tastes were more... depraved than in the living world, but that didn't mean the populus secret wishes for some sort of common sexual decency was out the window, goddamn.

Your mind wandered away from your depressive ruminations, your hand never stopping its circular pattern around your swollen clit as your thoughts started to wander to its usual place, the only way that came close to what you longed for and what was the source for all of your best-selling porn scripts. Your boundless realm of fantasy.

'Come out, come out, wherever you are...'

Vox is standing in your doorway, his silhouette prominent against the bright white neon light coming from the corridor of the empty floor. His suit, neatly fitted to every curve of his slender body, is showing just how thin his waist really is, but that does not come even remotely close to describe his broad shoulders and firm, wide chest, contrasting it deliciously. His navy blue skin reflects the harsh lighting in the hallway, his screen sharp and clear, digital eyes never leaving you as he closes the door behind him, dipping the room you're in in darkness, the only source of light his brightly illuminated screen where his digital, mismatched eyes are solely fixated on you, hiding behind the long backrest of your couch.

'Found you, babydoll.' he says with that god forsaken sultry voice of his as he reaches for your throat, long fingers wrapping themselves around your neck as your breath hitches and he pulls you up from your crouched position, his long tongue running over your collarbones, the wet trails feeling as cold on your skin as his appendage feels hot. 'Now remember what I said? Ready or not...'

He presses you into a wall, his big, hard erection rubbing teasingly through the layers of fabric on your already wet core as you whimper with want. '... here I cum.'

You moan his name, the imagined feeling so painfully surreal, and you wished once more that your working fingers would elicit some sort of real, bodily response.

A cough makes you freeze in your movements. Your fantasy shatters like a mirror shot with a bullet and your eyes fly open, expecting to see maybe a dumb segment of a rerun of 'Vox2Nite'. Instead, you see the actual, real TV demon overlord, standing live and in color just a few strides away with an expression that was a mixture of confusion, curiosity and slight annoyance.

"I'd ask if I am interrupting, but it seems you already had me on your mind, huh, doll?"

Realizing that you weren't - in fact - hallucinating, you immediately whipped your hand out from under your panties, sitting up, flustered like a child caught with their hands in the cookie jar. How did he get in? Did you forget to lock the door? No. Did he unlock it?! You must have missed his opening and closing of the door over the voice in your fantasy. The same voice that is now echoing in reality. Oh what a shameful ending for a perfectly good fantasy orgasm.

"Um... shit, sorry, Mr. Vox, sir. I was just, you know..." you scrambled, getting nervous under the actual gaze of him as he folded his arms, waiting for you to end that sentence with a pitiful smirk. Jesus Christ, those arms are slender and muscular…

"Thinking! Just thinking, making script... scenarios..."

"Uh-Huh. And how is that coming along?" He asked, seemingly unfazed by the display before him as he took a few steps towards you.

"Oh, uh, haha, I didn't really... finish..."

He stopped directly in front of you, shutting you up with a low chuckle and his hand around your wrist, the one attached to the hand that had been in between your folds just literal seconds ago, lifting them up to look at the still shimmering wet residue on your fingers with a sneer.

"Mhm. Yeah, I've heard you have some problems with that."

Now that was embarrassing as it was alarming, and you ripped your hand out of his grip. Or better, you tried to do so anyway. It was a pointless exercise, his hand had an iron-tight grasp around your wrist as he pulled you up with one swift motion, so fast you stumbled into him, face to chest, breath caught in your throat as you were made suddenly aware how huge he really was compared to you.

"W-wow, my kinda pathetic reputation precedes me it seems. That's..." just great is what you wanted to say, but all words failed you when he lifted the hand in his grasp to his face, his thick, long tongue slithering out of his mouth just to wrap itself around your digits, lapping up the sticky residue of your arousal, watching you as your pupils widen and you squirm in his grip, mortified and turned on at the same time.

"Eh. Not as pathetic as my business partner's failure to provide something he's built his reputation on, sweetheart. Unusually smart of him to get you under contract before you shout it from the rooftops." He hummed as he tasted you, sucking in the pads of your finger hungrily and without hesitation, and all you could think of, frozen stiff like a deer in headlights, was: What the fuck is happening?

"But Val never had the kind of mindset I have... I don't do failure... or better said: I always finish what I start." His low rasp vibrated in the air around him, echoing in your head, and the heat his voice had brought to your skin left your mind racing. You asked yourself panicking if you had written too many dumb porn plots or if he was really implicating what you thought he was implicating.

"So, whaddaya say, doll..." His breath tickled your cheek as he leaned in closer, pulling you flush against him, a soft grunt of content as his hard dick pressed into your soft belly, his mouth right next to your ear, one of his hands running teasingly down your sides as he licked your ear shell. "...care to see if I can end your unlucky streak?"

'Fuck, yeah.' You thought, and almost moaned out loud as you let your head fall back to make room for his waiting mouth, when suddenly you stopped in your tracks. His hands were already groping over you greedily, squeezing your ass, your thighs, your breasts as he looked down on you, surprised to see your conflicted face.

"W...Wait. What's in it... for you?"

"Mh, you're clever. That's a new one." Vox laughed, his hand running up to the side of your face to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing small circles on the corner of your lip. "Me and Val made a little bet, you see, and well... Let's just say: I want this to work out just as much as you do, since my success depends on yours."

"Oh.." So Val was talking about you, that bastard. He had you sign an NDA when he hired you, given that you had been unwilling to make a soul contract with him, but you guessed that that had been naively one-sided. Asshole.

Vox stroked your bottom lip, parting them before you opened them slightly on your own accord, his dark blue tongue languidly tracing the edges, waiting for your decision, coaxing you to decide in his favor. And even though you were kind of pissed at Valentino for running around telling people about your... situation - you couldn't deny it was tempting, turning fantasy into reality. And what was another overlord trying to do the impossible? Worst case - he'd try and fail, just as all the others did before, like the stupid moth pimp. At least you'd have some leverage for maybe another good deal for your silence on it. And in the highly unlikely best case…

With your decision made, you flicked your own tongue against his, humming at the unfamiliar taste and the sizzling static electricity on your tongue. Vox grinned, his sharp teeth pressing onto your lips, nipping at the sensitive flesh and growling with approval when your lips parted.

"Ohoho, baby, this is gonna be fun."

Vox ran his claws through your hair, loosening your already messy bun until your hair fell free with his playful pulls as he explored your mouth, deepening the kiss with every lick, until he could push his whole tongue into your mouth, moaning and grabbing the back of your head tightly as you let him fill you without the slightest hint of protest, fighting a desperate losing battle for air.

"Fuck, don't you need to... breathe?" you whispered after he finally pulled back, a wet trail connecting his tongue to yours, grinning down on you while your lungs burned for oxygen.

"Perks of being state of the art, sweetheart." he watched your swollen, drool covered lips - parted to catch your breath - for a few seconds longer before he inquisitively tilted his head. "Did you feel any of that?"

You contemplated lying, but figured honesty would probably be the best in this situation, shaking your head and giving him your most pitiful attempt at an apologetic smile, already bracing yourself for him to give up or get mad. "My lips tingle a little."

"Mh." He huffed as he pushed you back into the two-seater, your back hitting the cushions with a soft thump, and unceremoniously pulled on your very not-sexy-at-all sweatpants and slightly-more-sexy-but-not-quite panties until they slipped over your legs.

"How about this then?" He pressed his knee in between your legs to nudge them apart. "Can you feel any of this?" He spread your already wet slit open to run a cold claw over your hole, softly dipping first one, then two and lastly three of his fingers inside to stretch you further open and push it back in, repeating the movement slowly while keeping his eye contact trained on your face.

You hummed non-commitally, closing your eyes and pressing yourself into the cushions, trying to feel for any sensation that should come with every slow drag of his digits pumping inside of you, and not finding any of it was so fucking frustrating. You felt like you were not only disappointing yourself, but him, as stupid as that sounded. But with every added finger and still a lack of response, you saw the progression of frustrations in his face that you knew all too well - eyebrows furrowed, irritated twitches of the corners of his lips that turned into a snarl with the third added digit. You frowned, sighing and bit your lip - nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and fucking nothing again, just another wet hole, the clenching of your walls a habit and reflex only, no pleasure whatsoever.

"It's no fucking use..." you whined, pressing your hands to your face in frustration and fear of looking back into his eyes, "I can't feel anything at a-aaAAH...!"

Your back arched at this strange jolt running down your spine, forcing you to grind down on his hand as a strong electric current buzzed from his claw tips right through your cunt, curling in your stomach in a hot wave of wanton need and knocking the wind out of you. Your eyes flew open just in time to see the flash of victorious satisfaction on his screen before his face turned fuzzy as you began to tear up.

"There's some reaction. There we go, sweetheart." He cooed and curled his fingers in that deliciously sinful way again, making your breath catch in your throat. For the first time since you can remember, you FELT. You dropped your hands from your flushed, hot face onto the plush of the couch, fingers desperately digging into the fabric, and stared at Vox with wide eyes. He winked, nudging his head to his buried fingers, and with a shattering gasp you could see neon blue bolts of electric sparks traveling down his slender arm, crackling around the soft flesh inside of your pussy that had never felt so sensitive.

"How are y-aaaa.... aaa-AAah...." he silenced any questions you might have had or possible retort with another shock wave traveling through his hand as he dragged his fingers in and out in an agonizingly slow pace, it had your ears ringing with white noise and your eyes water with unknown, strange pleasure.

You were shaking, and though it should have frightened you a lot more than it did to be electrocuted while doing something that could be considered borderline treason to Valentino (And it still had your cunt dripping on a whim), but there was nothing left for you to think of other than the sharp shocks making every nerve inside of you buzz, your thighs already trembling in anticipation of the possibility of an unknown, but oh-so-wanted climax. Yet it was somehow still out of your reach, out of your range of senses.

"I feel like we are getting closer, babydoll." The TV demon chuckled darkly, his voice over amplified, the electrical buzz reverberating loudly in the soundless room. "How 'bout we kick it up a notch, huh?"

He pulled out his fingers in a quick, cruel movement, making your pussy clench around nothing as you already mourned the feeling. Before you had the time to voice your loss however, he had your thighs already in his hands, pushing them back to almost fold you in half and spread them apart as wide as he could get them without hurting you. With a smirk he stuck out his tongue, inhumanely long, thick on its base and pointed at the end - and let his electric energy visibly spark around it. Holy Shit.

The moment his head dipped down and his appendage swiped through your puffed, red folds, you could feel your insides buzz in sync to his delighted moan. He began eating you out feverously and obscenely, not holding anything back, just like you wrote your most popular protagonists to do - NO, this was so much better than anything you've ever written or fantasized about, his tongue twisting in patterns that felt like nothing you've ever even came close to imagine before. It was like he powered your whole nervous system, overriding every strand of nerve with his own electricity, amplifying any touch, any lick and any suction that would normally not even register a thousand-fold.

"O-Oh my g... F-fffuuuuhhh-ck.. meeee..." you moaned in confusion and amazement, your legs shaking helplessly on either side of Vox's rectangle head as he fucked his tongue into you, switching between the deep, long, thorough thrusts and fast, small, teasing flicks into the wet heat of your cunt, coating his screen in a shining mix of your natural juices and his blue neon saliva. He sucked at the protruding of your swollen bundle of nerves, your sensitive clit twitching under his attention - it was maddeningly unreal. You felt like a complete, utter sham - if this was sex, you've never written it anywhere correctly.

"I'm working on that, sweetheart."

Vox smirked against your pulsing core, humming with satisfaction at your wet, gaping slit begging for him to push back in and fill you up again, making you ache for his tongue deeper and deeper, forcing every shred of sense you had to leave your mind as you bucked into his grip in desperation, chasing another intense jolt he held just out of your reach as he laughed deviously at your hungry reaction to his teasing antics.

You didn't care how pathetic you looked, how undignified or desperate you sounded. This was nothing short of fucking fantastic, this all new, unknown sensation that you deemed impossible to ever experience and an real, tangible orgasm so close you could almost grab it. You felt a violent greed, you needed more of this, more more more, you needed to cum and you knew exactly that only Vox was able to do it - but you needed him inside of you, pushing you into oversensitivity, no matter what was required to get you over the edge. Fuck all dignity, that ship had sailed the moment your back hit the couch.

You shook your head vigorously, choking down sobs of grateful pleasure that racked your body with every curl of his tongue inside of you and a guttural moan, high pitched and broken.

"P-Please... ah, Pl..please..." you panted and Vox felt for your thighs to hold you steady. His claws sank in with such force into the soft meat of your legs he drew blood. "F... Fu..Fuck me.. please." you stammered and he smirked, a look of pure joy in his digital eyes as he stared you down.

"Oh, I will, baby." He smiled against your core, curling the tip of his tongue around your clit with just the right amount of pressure that your entire vision went blank with a broken cry and the strongest wave of static he'd managed to work you up to so far. "Don't worry about that, I'm not nearly done with you."

He fucked his long, slippery tongue back into your quivering pussy, his thumb taking the place on the sensitive bundle of nerves where his pointy tip had been and you cried out again as he found that one spot you've always read (and written) about. You had questioned it's actual existence, believing it to be one of those wishful myths girls dreamt and you by proxy wrote about - Until Vox and his fucking talented mouth and miraculous tongue brushed right up against it with expert accuracy. It made your eyes roll to the back of your skull, mouth open to cry out as your back arched like a bow string.

"Yeah, there? F-Fuuuck..." The overlord growled, watching your blissful face twist with a new kind of overwhelming pleasure. "You gonna cum for me baby? Come on, let go, good girl..."

You knew the reader-pleasing phrase by heart. You used it a hundred times and fantasized about it even more - It shouldn't have that effect on you, but yet it was that comment of his, spoken in a raspy low rumble directly into your cunt that finally pushed you over the edge, leaving you panting helplessly and cumming.

Hard. Harder than you've ever dreamed about. Every nerve ending on overdrive, every hair standing on edge - it felt like getting struck by lightning, the static electricity sizzling through your blood vessels like a thunderstorm as he was still thrusting that goddamn magic tongue into your spasming hole through the clamping of your muscles, taking you through it with small, measured licks to keep you on the edge a little longer, whines and hiccups mixed with breathless laughs leaving your raw throat as you slowly returned to reality.

This was it, what you've always longed for, you realized after your vision came back to you, staring down at the smug looking TV demon who was still settled between your legs, his glowing screen painted with the remains of your climax. You managed to give him an exhausted smile, blowing a stray strand of wild hair from your face with a quick puff before dropping your head back in the pillow, absolutely spent. Vox pressed a toothy kiss on your thigh and pushed himself back to his feet.

"You've got quite the gushy orgasm, doll, damn..." he wiped a thick blotch of your arousal from the corner of his screen, the neon blue stained fingertip disappearing in his mouth as he hummed appreciatively and licked it away. Then he looked over you, slumped lazily on the sofa, your face flushed, your hair all tangled and the exposed pieces of skin covered with a shiny layer of sweat.

"Shit, sweetheart, you look goddamn good when you're all messed up like that..." He eyed you intently and leaned down, his heavy frame caging you in underneath him, one hand trailing a line from your still heaving chest, between your breasts and up to your throat.

"T-That was.. wow. Just... wow." Clearly illiterate and 50 IQ-points dumber post-orgasm, you cleared your throat, trying to compose yourself. While you were a little disappointed that you still hadn't really fucked, he did what he promised to do. Got you off - and how. You were grateful.

Sad that it was over, maybe even sadder that the chances of a repetition were likely zero - Vox was a goddamn overlord, and who were you other than a nobody with a hard-to-please cunt?- but grateful nonetheless. And you felt the need to let him know that.

"I don't know how to than... w-what are you doing?"

You sat yourself up on the elbows with a dumbfounded expression as Vox began to undress himself, his jacket, bow tie and undershirt discarded within seconds onto the ground and he practically pounced you as he began to undo the belt of his slacks, trapping you in between his legs and under the very prominent hard-on he sported.

"What, you really thought that was it? Make you cum once, win my bet and ding-dong-ditch like a fucking amateur?" Vox laughed as he pulled his massive length out of his pants - Words were your bread and butter but they would ever fail you to describe the gloriousness that was his cock.

Almost as thick as your underarm, smooth and almost shiny, glowing with built-in LED lights along the underside of his shaft and practically weeping with precum. He knelt down on the sofa, taking your hand to run it over its full length, smearing the sticky residue along your fingers, his almost bioluminescent cum dripping thick and slowly from the angry swollen tip. "Fuck no, sweetheart. In case you forgot, let me remind you..."

He leaned down to your ear, a violent electric bold jolting from his cock through your hand right into your overwhelmed, disbelieving brain as he guided you to line him up with your still throbbing entrance.

"I always finish what I start."

Vox had never been in a better mood.

His phone - finally surviving for more than just a few days, since his win against Valentino prevented the moth pimp from smashing it, even in one of his many temper tantrums - buzzed again. A notification of another upload into the cloud. He smirked when he saw the name of the user.

The whole conversation after he fucked Val's writing savant into Limbo and back had been a fucking blast for Vox - he reveled in the morbid joy of cashing in his stake while teasing Val that he'd have to wait another eternity for the chance to make Vox star in a double length porn with him - a fantasy of the moth Vox has been always against. Not to mention that Vox had accomplished what Valentino with all his 'mighty dicks and porn mastery'-aura couldn't. Which (rightfully) sent him into his biggest hissy fit yet, so enraged that, in lieu of Vox's phone to throw against the wall, he threw his newest Robo-Assistant Kitty out the window.

Although Vox had been certain he wouldn't lose the little bet against his partner, he still felt a little relief that his ass wasn't on the next new load of crappy porn DVDs. Granted, that would've surely caused sales to skyrocket - but with his revived and improved little star author that was more than just unnecessary.

Val's fears that a good dicking with a Happy End would sort of break the little writers 'Sex-Spell' and her scripts turn into shite like the rest of Val's useless crew produced proved to be the exact opposite. Ever since Vox made her cum - on his fingers, mouth and cock for multiple times that fateful night - her scripts improved even more, resulting in stellar sales reports, a major spike in cashflow and a personal inquiry letter for a meeting from Asmodeus himself (which Vox contemplated to frame and hang over his fucking bed like a medal of honor).

And since Valentino, in his hurt pride and childish, stubborn pettiness refused to speak or fuck with him, Vox had no qualms of paying his little writer a few more visits. Every time he found impish joy in finding new ways to make her cum, and after one shag-date where he actually stayed long enough for an after-sex-cigarette and some smalltalk, he discovered that she wasn't just a kinky, but also an interesting bitch with great taste in whiskey and a crude sense of humor that was just up his alley.

"I'm curious doll." Vox said as he took another drag from the cigarette before he handed her the bud, throwing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her onto his bare chest as he lounged on the new, bigger sofa he got for her office (more space and much more versatility) "What the fuck did you do to end up in hell? You don't seem like the ax-murder type."

She chuckled mischievously. "I was a pretty popular crime author back upstairs. I hit a pretty bad writer's block, and decided to get in some field work to inspire me for more creative ways of murder. No axes, but I did have a fable for knives." She grinned, inhaling the thick smoke as he laughed and the way her tits pressed into his skin had him almost hard again. "You know what's the most ironic part?" She asked, putting the bud out in the ashtray on her side table and glanced back over her naked shoulder to him, a devious glint in her eyes. "I got the electric chair for that." That woke his cock fully up again, and he couldn't help but take her for another round.

His assistant babbled something about his schedule, but Vox didn't listen. Instead, he planned on visiting her office again, maybe he'd even stay after and order sushi for two, who knew? The media Overlord smiled smugly as he opened the database and looked over the newest script you had uploaded to the cloud. It was when he read the title that he burst into ringing laughter.

'Electrocutie - One Big Cock Shock'

[mncxbe]

bsd men and what they do for christmas

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂, 𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊, 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: sfw/nsfw/ severe brainrot♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

can I just start by saying that this man has never celebrated Christmas properly so he's so excited to spend time with you

Dazai prefers to keep things simple: homemade dinner and then watching a movie

you're supposed to open the presents in the morning but he isn't patient enough. the moment he sees them under the tree you so kindly decorated a few days ago he has the biggest smile on his face

"come on bella you don't seriously want to wait until morning. how could you do this to me? you know how curious I am"

you end up opening the gifts that night. he's gonna loves whatever you get him really but his heart literally melts if you knit him a scarf or write him a letter. dazai's a sucker for self-made gifts

the only appropriate way to show his gratitude is to bend you over and fuck you nice and slow, your face mushed in the cushy pillows on your shared bed as he takes you from behind

"there you go pretty girl. my, my I'm starting to think this pretty pussy of yours is my favourite gift so far"

you can bet he wears a santa hat

𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒖𝒚𝒂 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

he'd take you out to the most expensive restaurant in town for a proper meal

after that, if you find a rink that's open on Christmas eve he takes you ice skating (totally not an excuse for him to hold your hand)

once you get home you cuddle on the couch while watching a generic movie like Home Alone. it's always the classics I'm telling you

he has a fireplace!!! and insists on opening the gifts next to it

among other stuff, he gets you Christmas themed lingerie and makes you wear it in bed. cuz after all, you're the best gift he could ask for

forget about baking him sweets, the only dessert he wants is your pretty cunt. he's gonna eat you out for what seems like hours, making you cum on his tongue at least two or three times before he even thinks about fucking you

"shiit baby you look so pretty like this. you like it when I spoil you rotten don't ya? I bet you do- oh fuck yea cum f'me doll"

𝑭𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒊 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

hubby's busy even on holidays

he probably has to attend some obnoxious event and ofc you go as his plus one

he's gonna spend all evening sulking and complaining about how idiotic the whole party is

by the time you two get home he's too exhaused to do anything but you may be able to bribe him to stay awake for an hour or two with some gingerbread

can I just say he'd probably get you the nicest gifts? i'm 100% sure he has a good salary so he can afford whatever you want. expensive jewelery or skincare? sure, no problem. a stack of books with those pretty decorative covers? fine again

he probably gets a bit tipsy on mulled wine so be prepared to hear a silly yet lengthy love confession before bed

falls asleep before midnight but he's gonna make up for it in the morning if you catch my drift

𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒎𝒂 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

sweet baby's so anxious at first

he's never celebrated christmas before so he doesn't really know what to do. this whole idea is so new to him but he can't deny he loves spending time with you decorating the house

Sigma wants to try any tradition you may have; baking winter themed cookies, making crackers, watching a movie marathon

when it comes to gifts he doesn't really know what to get you so he ends up buying multiple things he thinks you'd like and he's so happy when you tell him you like them

cuddles cuddles cuddles all evening under a cushy blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in your hands

he'd look so cute wearing one of those reindeer headbands

if it's snowing, take him slow dancing in the snow or on a walk around town. he's gonna love the pretty christmas lights

[buckyalpine]

Here is a list of things that make me mad in no particular order. Angry ranting. Pls ignore this, I'm just screaming into the void. These example apply to very specific situations I've encountered with people who are perfectly capable of doing better.

People who lack common sense. Social awareness. Common courtesy. Saying "Oh my God, I'd never do that" when they've never been even close to said situation but they're now experts on how they'd act while sitting on their pristine Thoroughbred horse, sipping on English tea with their pink so high it may as well be in their nose.

People who say "Well I wouldn't care if it happened to me" or "I'm just being honest" when you point out something they did/said.

When autocorrect/spellcheck decides it cannot for the life of it figure out what you're trying to spell OR it gives you suggestions for every word under the sun except the one you want. All you did was leave out a single letter with the rest of it spelled perfectly and spellcheck decides to go into a coma. So you fix the mistake and the little squiggly red line goes away. Fuck you.

Gnats. WTF is you're problem. I've Googled this shit cause I want to know why tf you can't just fly straight, why do you have to buzz all over the damn place near my head of all places.

Flies. Same thing as above. Why tf can't you just fly straight. WHY NEAR MY EAR. You have the entire world and you decided my room is the place to be? And now we're both miserable because you keep hitting yourself against the window after noticing your grave mistake. I leave the door wide open but you want to keep body slamming the glass.

Giving me life advice on something you know nothing about.

People who don't love their pets. Yeah, you take care of them but you do it as a chore and then complain about it. Those little fur babies deserve it all, give them the best or don't have pets at all.

Holier than thou attitude.

People who laugh at those who are visibly upset and tell them they're being too sensitive.

Allergies. IDK Why tf my body acts surprised as hell every single spring. It's just fucking pollen. Why are you trying to fight it. Do you understand that in your brilliant plan to try and fight the little evaders you actually make me want to end it all because my nose is itching and my eyes are watering and I can't breathe. Food allergies are another level of bullshit. I'll never forget the day this one girl tells me she wished she had allergies? Like it makes you special, mf what??? She was being serious too.

Thin, straight, fine black hair. Can't do anything with it. It doesn't hold hairstyles, doesn't curly, gets heavy as soon as you use any product and 90% of the time it just looks like Snape cosplay. Ask me how I know

Parents who buy their very young children shoes with laces. This is inconvenient for all of us. why tf would you do this when Velcro exists. Your 4 year old doesn't need laces when they have no clue how to even eat cheese with their crackers, mf why did you buy this shoe for them?!

Bananas. Hate them with a burning passion. The smell. The texture. I hate the peel is left out and about like it isn't making the entire room smell. Don't even get me started on banana breath. (Keep in mind this is not me saying I think they're gross. I wish I liked them because they're a super convenient snack and very healthy)

People who lie and say you can't taste the banana in a smoothie. Yes, I can. You always can. You can have 1000lbs of any fruits and that single banana will still stand out.

People who don't understand mental illness/ act ignorantly to those suffering.

Big companies who ask you to donate to stuff. You're going to use this as a tax write off, stfu.

Inflation.

People who laugh at others for not knowing something. Maybe that thing had 0 relevance to their life. Maybe they learned about that because they were taught something else. Either way, how is it funny.

People who laugh at those learning a new language. You're the fucking worst. They are LEARNING. Let them get used to the pronunciation, let them get accustomed to sentence structures, let them make mistakes without being embarrassed. You're the embarrassing one cackling you're damn ass off while they're trying to do something new. You're discouraging them from wanting to continue because you feel the need to be an asshole.

People who make everything a serious debate/conversation.

People who steal. Not out of necessity but just because they can. I'll never forget overhearing this group of kids in my high school bragging and laughing their asses off over how much candy they stole from other kids. They also stole phones. These were not troubled kids mind you, they were doing this for shits and giggles.

Eczema. So fucking itchy, why can't skin just act right. It feels awful, looks awful and just comes and goes as it pleases.

People who clown you for who you find attractive. Why. If I find this person attractive, what in the ever loving flying fuck does it have to do with you. It's just so unnecessarily rude. I don't even get how its funny or why you find it okay to call someone ugly as if this is something they personally have control over.

I'm going to add more to this list.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Dorm Leaders Meet Villain Counterparts

If my childhood self saw Twst, I feel like she would combust because it's literally two parts of my childhood put together (anime and Disney). But here's something I thought of for Halloween or for some writing in general, hope you enjoy!

Riddle

I feel like he would kind of fangirl, like omg this is literally a Great Seven just standing in front of him!

Is extremely polite, the queen probably likes him because he remembers every rule, every little thing that will get him on his good side.

The two of them probably get along to some extent, though I feel like even if she is kinda bonkers, she would feel a little bad for how he basically had no childhood. Like yeah Riddle's the role-model student and dorm leader, but this kid hasn't had much fun in his life. Might actually be a little more chill with him haha

Overall the two of them are definitely immediate friends and will be a nightmare to Ace and Deuce. I can see these two enjoying tea together while Ace and Deuce have to paint flowers lmaooo

Leona

How does this work? Like a lion meeting a beastman? I feel like Scar would be more confused than Leona like "what is going on this guy's like half me?"

I feel like they wouldn't really have a fangirling moment like Riddle did, but they are definitely chill together. Like Leona might be like "Imma sleep here" and Scar's like "👍" and they don't bother each other. Do I think Scar will try to eat Leona? No. But will he try to eat other students? Maybe

The two totally understand the whole "my-brother-got-all-the-attention" feeling and might bond a bit with that. Not sure what that would look like, but they might complain about how Mufasa/Farena feel too pompous. Oh, and they don't like kids, find them annoying haha

I really have no idea how this would look like since it would look like a lion just standing around in a dorm lobby with a prince just like "yo whattup bro" but I would love to see it!

Azul

Definitely fangirls a little bit, might scare Ursula a tad because he seems to know everything about her? I mean, great at least she's regarding as a "benevolent" person

The two are totally going to plot for someone's demise together and make a fail-proof plan to take over the school. Crowley stops the two from going too far but they have the plan, it might happen any day lol. They definitely talk about their favorite spells and potions for sure

I feel like Ursula would feel kinda bad for Azul too, sort of like Riddle's case. Will remind him to not worry about others since she thinks he's much better than all of the other students. Azul might tear up a bit (the two share a small wholesome moment before going back to business-related stuff)

I feel like it would be kinda fun to see how they would act together. I think they would at first notice each others' scams and then be like "omg great minds think alike" lmaoo

Kalim (feat. Jamil)

Kalim thinks Jafar looks scary, but nonetheless is super hyped to meet him. Will throw a big party and it might cause the sorcerer to be low-key stunned by all of the attention. If Iago's there, he definitely got a biscuit/cracker from Kalim by force

I feel like Jafar will talk more to Jamil than Kalim while he's busy trying to chase Iago down by carpet (please a carpet chase please) mainly because Jafar kinda feels bad for Jamil. Like this guy's had almost the same life as he did, but Jamil is like "nope don't worry I have a plan 😈"

Jamil probably likes Iago because he's always wanted a parrot as a pet, will likely not force a cracker/biscuit which helps Iago warm up to him faster than Kalim.

I think all of these characters could hit it off well, but it's honestly kinda awkward when Jafar's like "I was going to overthrow the sultan" and then Kalim's like "...that lowkey feels familiar but imma let that slide 💀"

Vil

The two are immediately like "you're beautiful queen" "thank you bae" 😭

I literally feel like they would bash their respective rivals while doing skin care together. Like they'll be like "xyz is so annoying" whlie lying down on a couch and the other one is like "fr." Iconic, and definitely all the students can tell the Evil Queen has a regal air about her. Vil doesn't fangirl as much as the others, but he definitely says that he respects her a lot

I think the Evil Queen, as evil as she is, will still feel bad for Vil since she can see how much effort and work he puts into his work. He's a model, an influencer, a dorm leader, all at once and it feels like not a lot of people respect him as much as they should. Definitely tells him that he's doing well

The two of them need to do a collaboration of some kind, and if she happens to help him out on dorm duties one day all of the students are like "oh no it's like 2 Vils at once" lol

Idia

I actually really want to see this, probably will be the funniest interaction because they're almost like polar opposites. Hades is all like "Hades, Lord of the Underworld how'rya doin?" and Idia's like "...eep"

While Hades is around Twisted Wonderland he'll definitely try to raise idia's confidence. Will take him all around campus to get him to talk to people and also to show off his own skills lol. But Hades probably loved watching Idia play video games, like damn why's he so good at rhythm games 💀

Will find Ortho super adorable, but definitely felt really bad about Ortho and Idia's backstory. He may be evil in the Disney version of Greek mythology, but I feel like Hades would still have a bit of a heart to feel bad for Idia, like he's gone through so much in so little time. Probs gave him a hug too

The two of them have definitely tried playing some games together, and whenever the two of them got angry at a boss it was like the room lit up red because of their hair lol. Idia probably thought it was super cool that Hades had similar hair to him, maybe fangirled a little bit about that

Malleus

I feel like the two would have the chillest conversations out of all of them because they just feel like the cool-headed ones. Malleus definitely is respectful towards her, and she is too. Definitely praised him for his magic abilities

The two have bonded over their lack of party invitations, but Malleus is like "oh I've been getting invited to a house tho!" and then boom Yuu has to meet one of the greatest Disney villains of all time while in their pajamas lol

I feel like for sure Maleficent thinks Malleus is a super cool person, might want to meet his mother too just because it might be an interesting interaction. Nonetheless the two of them are super chill. Sebek will want to talk to her too just because she's just so popular

Will Malleus geek out about grotesques and gargoyles to her? Yes. Is it fun for her? Surprisingly so! I feel like even if she's known as the Mistress of Evil, she might like smaller more mundane things like medieval architecture, and it's always fun to hear from Malleus so why not? She has definitely asked Yuu about their life and experiences which might've scared the shit out of them but still haha

[swee7dream]

wayv as agere caregivers ! caregiver!wayv x regressor!reader

genres sfw age regression content, fluff warnings rly sappy nicknames used dni nsfw / kink author's note i need to put this out before anything else otherwise i'll be so lost when i write more vision stuff . this is basically for me to reference in advance . tag list @mystarsohee @cupofwyn @iwontlettheselittlethingsslip @aeriaeri ( comment / ask to join :D or be removed D: )

qian kun (ó㉨ò)

so sweet and so gentle :(

he’s so kind you can’t even THINK of going against his requests

makes mealtimes fun even if his tiny struggles with them for any reason

finds grapes in your ear! how did that happen? who put that there? oh well, you might as well eat it

always holding your hand or pinky

just loves to rest his cheek on top of your head or shoulder and watch as you play with your toys, chuckling softly as he hears you to talk to and as them

he’s a little stiff when it comes to playing but you can tell he’s doing his best so you’re not saying anything!

he accidentally sits on one of your stuffie and he holds it up and away from him in a panic, not knowing what the appropriate reaction is. does he apologize to you? to the toy? what is it called again? oh no…

very old-fashioned kind of caring

prioritizes you getting all your tasks done before doing anything fun

you begin to grumble but quickly stop when you turn to see him going (｡•ˇ‸ˇ•｡) and so you bite your tongue

gives you little pieces of candy throughout the day to reward you for doing chores (and so you don’t complain)

loves feeding you! you can insist all you want but he’s making sure your plate is squeaky clean by the end of lunchtime.

“i know you can do it yourself, baby. but kun-kun wants to. won’t you let him? pretty please?”

calls you little bird and teases you as he wipes your face clean of any applesauce or animal cracker crumbs

big big big helper. helps pack your bag, tie your shoes, pick out an outfit, all with your permission first of course. and how could you deny him when his eyes are sparkling like that?

the inventor of headpats, actually

li yongqin ≽ܫ≼

MEAN.

ok not actually but he’s actually such a tease! the biggest tease in all of nct, i wanna say. there’s johnny, one step up is yuta, and a BIG gap after him is ten

makes everything a competition but makes sure to keep the victories 50/50

who can wash their face the fastest! who can tie their shoes the fastest! who can put away more clothes!

when you first told him he… did not react the best. he thought you were joking :( he made a couple jokes before realizing no, you were 100% serious

immediately apologized while also trying to figure out if you were crazy or not. he decided that you are, but in a cool way so he stuck around

it was a process, but with many (MANY) q&a sessions and research he was chill about it

he was never against it, just confused

but once he gets comfortable in his role as caregiver (read: evil older cousin/uncle) he’s super supportive, a very tough love kind of guy

unlike kun, doesn’t like making your decisions for you. highly encourages you making your own decisions even if, or especially if, it ends up making you look like you just hopped off the first bus out of clownville, silly city

‘silly’ and ‘goof’ are his defaults for you. ur just a silly, goofy baby!

when you’re super uber tiny, he likes breaking ur brain and putting the triangular prism block in the square hole

“how did you do that…” “no one will ever believe you”

dance parties all day, every day, from sunrise to sundown, until you’re both passed out on the floor

sometimes you wake up but when you’re in so deep you sleep through the night, ten’ll make sure to get you in bed, wiping the sticky leftover feeling of sweat off your face and arms with some baby wipes

dong sicheng ⋌(˚͈v˚͈)⋋

be so nice to him

i’m serious!!!

at the beginning he’s so, so nervous. he’ll never ask but the look in his eyes always reads as ‘oh my god am i doing this right please tell me this is right’

he’s kind of quiet. very easygoing

happy to just stay in and do puzzles with you (or maybe just watch if you don’t like sharing) but also okay with having a full-blown princess party where you both get dressed up and you do his makeup

can never say anything mean ever

it’s kind of funny to see all the different ways he avoids saying the word ‘no’

“winnie like it?” ”my eyes are so… scribbly. very avant garde” ”what’s that?” ”…it just means pretty, sweetheart.”

the best for the not-so-good days, even if he says he’s not

holds you in his arms and rocks the two of you as you sit on his lap, sniffling and leaving your tears on his shirt. blows your nose for you (because he loves you, but you’re not getting snot on him) and presses kisses to the top of your head

he doesn’t speak much but when he does it sends you into fits of giggles

he knows his power too! specifically uses it to distract you when you’re eating so he can he steal some of your food :P

when you told him about your regression he just stared at you with a blank stare that got you so nervous you just rambled and rambled for who knows how long until he interrupted you all of sudden, hand out like a crossing guard, and went ‘okay’

that’s it. ‘okay’

you weren’t quite sure what that meant but here you are, playing tea party together in your fairy tent

xiao dejun ٩(ˊᗜˋ )و

he’s like a straitjacket

always has his arms around you and his grip is surprisingly strong. you wriggle and kick around but all you’re gonna get is a whiny xiao peppering kisses into your neck

doesn’t like playing pretend. you always scam him :(

he says he’s never playing grocery store again until you pull out the waterworks and he’s back giving his entire pretend wallet for a pack of gum

likes to take you out on walks with bella, carrying a bug of doggy treats, bags, hand sanitizer, and an extra big bag for you to drop all the pretty stones and flowers you find along your trek

also likes to make crafts out of your nature walk finds, leaf stamps, rock pets, etc etc. makes sure to keep them high up on a shelf so neither leon nor louis nor levi nor coco can knock them over

it still doesn’t work :(

has the time of his life playing photobooth with you. almost losing his lungs laughing so hard at all the different filters where his eyes get big like a bug or you’ve suddenly been turned into yoda

called you baby yoda for a solid week before you told him to stop

he still calls you it sometimes under his breath because he just finds it so funny so many months later

disney karaoke nights are WEEKLY

even if you’re not feeling little he’ll just start poking at you like ‘hey :(’ pokes ‘come on’ pokes ‘let’s watch hercules :(’ pokes ‘and sing along :(’ pokes ‘come on :(’

and honestly you do slip and make him have to deal with a bratty baby for a good ten minutes until he pacifies you in a hug with a surprising bear-like grip

loves having matching items with you. his heart melted when you got matching sleep masks and wears it every single night

he doesn’t know you bought them because you’re tired of nearly screaming every time you’re returning to bed after using the restroom and he’s staring dead at you as he snores

wong kunhang ◉‿◉

pink everything.

pink clothes, pink plates, pink dollhouses, pink books, pink socks, pink nails, pink food

strawberry pink cupcakes with strawberry pink frosting and pink sprinkles and strawberry jam in the middle all made in the easybake oven

you get sick of anything strawberry pretty quick (both literally and figuratively), but don’t have the heart to tell dery about the pink…..

very good at coming up with characters on the spot. the number one person you can turn to for names and personalities of new plushies, bought or gifted by him

“what ‘bout this one, dery?” “hmm, well, how about she’s a detective? from space. from a moon far, far away but crash landed on earth! and now she’s trying to gather money to get back home!” “yeah!!!”

but ask him for advice on irl problems and none of that imagination transfers over.

whenever you’re feeling fussy and tearing up kunhang goes crazy

what do you need !!!!! food ??? tea ??? tv ??? cuddles ??? he doesn’t know !!! HERE !!! all at once !!!

u just had a tummy ache from too much ice cream :>

huge cuddler. nothing can stop him

doesn’t feel hindered in the slightest even if you ask to nap with him PLUS all your pillows and blankies and stuffed animals. calls you two the bread slices of a fluff sandwich

little bit of a klutz but loves cutesy, delicate things like hair clips and pretty nails, not just giving but also receiving the princess treatment he’s always determined to give you

likes to let you take your turn first before he tries anything new out of fear of hurting you or doing something the wrong way

that’s why he likes asking lots of questions when you two play makeover. likes learning about your colors you like on your nails, the colors you don’t, the texture and treatment of your hair, everything ! he thinks you’re the most interesting person in the whole wide world <3

liu yangyang ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

gives the vibes of a fun older brother / younger uncle

full of bad ideas but enough common sense to not go through with them 100% (unlike ten)

very sportsy, very energetic, very aNNOYING

soooo cocky and does not give you an advantage even though you’re literally so tiny !!!! like do u mind …….

he’ll leave u eating dust playing mario kart during the first race of the prix and your urge to bite him only gets WORSE as he calls himself the next hit nascar driver UGH

but after some lighthearted teasing and competition has started, he’ll dial it back a little

sings you lullabies and nursery rhymes in literally any language if you ask.

chinese, english, and german are e-z of course but if your native language is one outside of those three (or maybe you’re learning another one!) he’ll try his best to sing a song in that language just for you <3

probably has a yearly pass to the nearest amusement park so u go often and race eye arr el as well. doesn’t ride the roller coasters, though.

holds your bags and waves at you from the ground when you’re going up on the roller coasters, giggling when he sees ur feet dangling off the ground

just likes trips in general, honestly

keeps beach toys in the trunk during the summer, camping gear during the fall, skiing/snowman building things in the winter, and kites and picnic stuff for the spring !

are you feeling sad? let’s go to the park !

feeling sick? you must go to the beach! the doctors from 1800s were so right to send all those noblewomen to the coast and now it’s your turn

cabin fever is never a thing when ur yangie’s baby

didn’t know how to react when you opened up, just listened carefully and quietly and held tight to your hand the whole time.

it felt like you were rambling for hours, but he made sure to let it be known that he didn’t mind

took a little bit to reach your current dynamic, but he’s so so glad you were comfortable enough to share such an intimate part of yourself with him. he can’t imagine a life without his baby !!!!!

author's note hi !! it's been a while ! sorry . i would use The Situation as an excuse but that would be a lie . i've just been facing writer's block this past month PLUS regression block but yk ! i love to do this so i tried to at least put out something . i know it's not great but i hope it's not too bad .

in other news , i went to this new bakery place in my area and tell me why their cheesecake smelled SPOILED ???????? (｡Ó﹏Ò｡) 1O dollars down the drain T.T

i'm reopening my requests again just for inspo ( no full-length stuff yet ) as my older reqs have priority and i'm a girl of my word despite not punctual ......

[hannahssimblr]

“Come on!” Jen giggles, “Just one! One little eeny-weeny teeny puff!”

“No! Get it away!” 

With one hand locked behind my neck, she tries to slot a joint into my mouth. I gently but firmly peel her hands off me. “This is the textbook definition of peer pressure.”

“Oh, you should tell your parents what’s happening to you. They’ll think I’m evil.”

“They already half think that.”

“Come on!”

“I’ll vomit.”

“You might not this time. It might be different.”

“There’s something deeply insane about that statement.”

“Here!” Shane interjects, holding his hand out for the joint. “Give it to me, sure it’s only wasted on him.” He pops it between his lips, and when he smokes it, the end crackles, a dot of smouldering light in the dark. 

Standing around watching my friends get stoned has been a regular fixture of the summer. We spend most of these long, lazy evenings hanging out in some unkempt corner of the caravan park, where the sun’s warmth lingers on the fractured tarmac and damp beach towels are drying over the wire fence around the tennis court. 

Last night, some man in his thirties complained that our chatting was disturbing his kids’ bedtime and that he could smell the weed smoke inside his caravan. Except he didn’t call it weed. He called in ganja, and when he went back inside, we snickered about it until he hissed out of the window that he was going to phone the police.

So tonight I am standing around watching my friends get stoned in town instead. It took me forty-five minutes to cycle in to meet them, and my reward for that is the ends of the Chinese takeaway that they didn’t finish and a wonky joint being forced into my mouth.

“Fuck, that’s shite,” Shane hacks out a bone-dry cough, and he pushes the joint towards Joe, who has the temerity to look offended. “Hey! My brother sold me that.”

“Did your brother fish it out of that bin at the back of the chipper?”

Joe smokes it to prove a point. “It’s lovely,” he insists, eyes watering, “I think that’s… that’s actually the nicest weed I ever had.”

“It tastes of stale crackers.”

“My brother wouldn’t sell me bad stuff! Don’t say that about-” his eyes bulge and he breaks off into wheezing coughs, doubling over with a hand clutching at his throat, “Okay, right enough,” he manages as we passively watch him struggle, “it’s a bit dry.” 

Kasper is waving in the distance, doing a little half-run across the pedestrian crossing. He’s coming back from the off licence with a school bag packed so full of cans that he hasn’t been able to zip it up all the way. 

“I saw Liam,” He says, eyes dancing as though he has spotted a cryptid in the woods, “And girlfriend eating at restaurant.”

“Just now?” Jen says. 

“Yes, five minutes.”

They must be on a date. I wonder did he ask her to his debs. I wonder if she said yes. I wonder why I am invested. 

“Oh! Cute! Maybe they’ll come and hang out.” She produces her flip phone and begins texting. 

“No,” Shane protests with a waving hand, “Don’t. Don’t invite them.”

“Too late. I’ve asked her.”

“No. It’s weird! I don’t want her to see me stoned.”

“She knows you smoke weed.”

“She doesn’t.”

“Well, she’s about to find out.”

My stomach does strange things at the thought of seeing Evie again. It’s ridiculous and makes little sense because she’s just some random girl who hangs out with Kelly Healy. It would be easier to dismiss this sensation as weird hunger pangs if I hadn’t eaten less than half an hour ago, so instead, I conclude I am experiencing a sudden onset anxiety disorder and concentrate on ignoring it.

When she arrives about fifteen minutes later, I ignore the feeling even harder. She is smiling, but Liam is not. He drags his feet behind her, pointedly miserable, while Evie drifts over and hugs Jen, oblivious to him. 

I’m there too, somehow, holding out my arms to hug her. I make sure it’s brief, because I am still somewhat attempting to be nice to Liam, and suspect he considers my touching or looking at Evie in any way to be bullying. I give him that awkward, closed-lip smile afterwards, and he does the same in return. 

The smell of Evie’s jasmine shampoo lingers in my nose even after she is gone. 

“What happened to your face?” Shane asks her. She goes pink and wipes a knuckle under her eye. “Nothing happened. Kelly did my makeup.”

A laugh bubbles from his lips. “Well, you look mad.”

All I noticed was the dark makeup on her eyes and some lipstick. It’s not exactly shocking stuff.

Jen rolls her eyes as she takes the joint from Joe. “Don’t mind him. You look lovely as usual.” She takes a long, luxurious drag. “You want?” 

“Ah, no. She can’t have any,” Shane pushes Jen’s arm away. “I wouldn’t let Evie do any of this stuff. She’s only a baby.”

Jen doesn’t rest, she just swings her arm to Liam instead. “How about you?” And I wonder if the quality is really so bad that she’s offering it to him. I feel it’s just as good in the rubbish bin. Smirking, I catch eyes with Evie, who is trying her hardest to look serious, and wonder if she is thinking about the story I told her about him at the gallery yesterday. The memory of her guilty laughter makes me feel like I might lose my cool completely.

Liam brushes some curls across his forehead and straightens up haughtily. “No thanks. I’m probably not going to stay for long, anyway. I have to get up at six for work.” He takes his phone out of his jeans. “Actually, I think I’m going to text my dad to come and get me now, so if you want a lift, Evie, you can come.”

“No,” she says, a little too quickly. “I think I’m going to stay.”

His brow furrows. “Will you just get a taxi then or what?”

“We’ll get her home safely,” I say, and a rigidity comes over Liam. He won’t look at me, and a muscle pops in his cheek. 

“Will you? But sure, you’re all stoned.”

“I’m not. She’ll be fine with us.”

“Okay,” he says, though it’s clear it’s not at all, but what does he expect? You can’t exactly force a girl who is so clearly repelled by your presence to hang out with you. In fact, Evie spends the next half hour chit-chatting with Jen and ignoring him while he sulks in the background, waiting for his dad to collect him. When he leaves they exchange awkward goodbyes, and she continues as she was, as though she’s already forgotten he was with her. I should probably feel bad for him, but I am oddly triumphant. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[ryukyuin]

Heyy😭 Idk if this is dumb but idk if you do fanfics! If you do can you do Yandere shaiapouf x reader headcanons! I am a fem but the reader can ofc be gender neutral:3

I DO HELLOOO !! Yandere Shaiapouf is a very silly concept to be because just... ??? Is it just me or is he really barely toeing the line. For the other ants it seemed moreso "devotion" but just. Pouf. POUF... sighhs.

assume pre-established relationship btw this man has to go through all six stages of grief before he accepts he loves a STINKY HUYMAN... this just isn't the place to write allat

WARNINGS: Mentions of blood, "yandere" behaviors/tendencies, unhealthy mindsets, dead animals (non-graphic), Shaiapouf idolizing violence/depictions of him wanting to fucking maul people GFHDSAH

HIS LOVE LANGUAGE IS ACTS OF SERVICE!! despite all the flowery bullshit he might say later on n the relationship, you'll always know how he's really feeling by his body language and what he goes through with.

there's so little shaiapouf content that its soooo fun to just make up stuff for him. little habits and ticks and sounds he makes as he goes about his day....

have you heard abt the orange cracker butterfly? you will now (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01hjJ4EhWtI)

that shit sounds like a TASER and they make that noise to tell other male butterflies to fuck off from their territory.

.........yes shaiapouf makes irritated taser sounds in public. yes you've almost gotten kicked out of places because workers think you're threatening patrons with a taser.

peppering his face in kisses until he calms down....... he starts warbling and chittering and his pupils dilate and he melts. three bajillion s/o points if you cusp his face in your hands and just rest your forehead against his afterward.

i think he'd give you dead animals as gifts, especially if you were too skinny for his liking. youre his monarch, his ruler, his sovereign, of course he'd find the best of the best for you! it's okay if you don't know how to skin them, he can take care of the gore himself, blood shouldn't grace your hands!

the level of dejected he looks when you turn him down is unfair in every sense of the word. you could have kicked a box of puppies and he would have looked less hurt. he probably would have white-knighted for you and said the puppies deserved it, actually

if blood DID grace your hands however,,,, god,,,,,,,,

him grabbing your arm, pressing kisses to the inside of your bloody wrist before lapping up every trace of red marring your skin......

DO NOT ASK ME ABT HOW HE'D BE DURING YOUR CYCLE!!!!! THE WORLD ISN'T READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /silly /nsrs

THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS THIGHHSS MMMMMFF.... i think its less about him being a thighs man and moreso that he'd enjoy just resting his head there. it doesn't matter how much shorter you are than him, he'd still contrort himself just to rest his head there as your hand cards through his hair......

okay time for the actual yandere headcanons, you didn't think he could just be cute and kissable and slutty, did you 🤨🤨🤨🤨

he REALLY likes pressing himself as close as possible to you, to watch the way you squirm in the iron shackle of his grip before he lets you go

because don't get it wrong-- he LET you go. shaiapouf finds it entrancing sometimes, the way he can feel your bones grinding together in your hand when he squeezes it too tightly, letting go the moment you yelp and pressing kisses to your knuckles until you complain at him for being the gooiest sap on the planet

micro-manages. god he micro-manages. he'll do the dishes, clean entire rooms, get rid of the old food in the fridge that he knows you're never going to eat despite saying you'd get around to it....

it feels... gross sometimes? you'll be laying in bed, sitting on the couch, at the kitchen counter, and he's just..... been working.

he looks so sad if you try and stop him though. he just wants to help, you know?

it doesn't matter if he's throwing away the clothes that you hide away your body with, stained and threadbare. they're your comfort clothes? that's okay, he'll get you better ones-- or even better, maybe you'd like to try on his own? he's sure you'd look adorable in them <33

it doesn't matter if he's slowly working out your chipped and dented dishes for fine china, delicate crystalware that clinked softly whenever he plated a meal for you. polished silver gleamed from your cutlery drawer, and you were a little scared that your knives would give you a thousand tiny cuts if you even breathed in their direction.

but thats okay, isn't it? he just wants the finer things in life for you... you do like his gifts, right? he worked so hard to get them!

you ask and you ask and you ask, and he never... quite tells you where he goes when he leaves, humming about it being 'confidential' and not to worry your pretty head about it before nuzzling against your temple .

he's not... trying to get rid of your comfort items, to warp your safe spaces. but if you come running into his arms, cuddle against his chest a little more often, well.

that's perfectly fine with him <333

just... don't worry about the speckles of blood on his clothes, the red marring his lips, pretty please? he'll lick the gore from his fangs, peel his clothes from his skin and toss them into the laundry basket before worshipping your body.

don't think about anything else. just him.

loves loves loveessss nipping at your skin...... if you're a chubbier s/o then i'm sure he'll ADORE you.

don't say anthing self-deprecating about your body around him. a gleam will enter his eyes, something dark and menacing before he's laving his tongue across your skin, leaving you squirming and breathy...........

he just really really likes how you look when your skin is littered with bruises and hickeys!!!! when his teeth sink in a little too deep, he'll whisper apologies into your skin, lapping at each droplet and pressing open-mouthed kisses until you're a giggling mess

ermmm anyways let me stop hornyposting this is the yandere part he gets SO SUPER IRRITATED WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MEET HIS IMAGE OF YOU!!

he SAYS he loves you but...... he can't understand you sometimes, why you'd shiver and start tearing up when he entertains the idea of viserally ripping someone to shreds whom he thought had personally wronged you a few minutes prior

in his mind you're his liege, the thing he worships and protects and lavishes n anything he can offer, he simply can't comprehend the way you start to shy away from him in fear when he entertains any of these ideas too long.

oh, he'll excuse it as instincts, his culture even. he's more than aware of how humans function, their benign society and rules that they keep in place and enforce, but oh.... he's so sorry for asking to rip off the arm of the mailman just because his fingers brushed against yours as he passed a letter to you, to sew his mouth shut with silk thread just because he complimented your appearance.

it was commonplace in his culture, you must understand-- to make moves towards what was very clearly someone else's partner simply wasn't to be tolerated.

ohh, how he wanted to pinch your cheeks and snatch you up from the way your face adorably scrunched up, right before you asked him how the grocer asking credit or debit was making a move.

guyyyysssss he's so sillyyyyyy please just stay with him and vcudlde with hijm in bed and dont think about anyone else ever

[tickle-bugs]

Cool Guy

Anon: Heya! If you're still doing them, could you make a tickle fic on Luke and Han but js Han getting Luke? I love the whole Luke being like Hans lil bro 😭 An idea being maybe Luke is embarrassing Han in front of Leia and Han gets him back, Leia maybe helping Han a bit? I like your fics a lot haha! It's alr if not ofc, js have a good day! :D &lt;3

Summary: Han is cool, suave, and absolutely irresistible. Luke vehemently disagrees.

Han knows logically that he cannot not squish the galaxy’s last hope like a bug. That would be unwise. There is, however, zero question of if he deserves it.

Luke is almost better at being a little shit than he is at being a Jedi.

“Princess!” Han leans against the wall. The Falcon’s internals hum behind it. Leia looks up at him blankly. 

“Pest.” She takes a bite of a sandwich. “What do you want?”

Nothing. Not a thing. He just loves the irritated curve of her eyebrow, the sharpness of her gaze, the curl of her lips--

“I’d love it if you’d stop taking what’s not yours.” He nods towards the sandwich. Leia regards it, then makes deep eye contact on her next bite. Han chuckles in something like disbelief, but he knows her. Knows how she likes to provoke. 

“Nice boys share their food.” She takes another bite.

“Well, I ain’t nice. Keep your thieving little hands to yourself.” Han considers wrapping up the sandwich, just to be petty, but he knows she hardly takes interest in his things unless she needs something. He could find something else to eat. 

“Or else what?” She plays with the crust of the bread. Eye contact. God, he loves this game of theirs. She leaves him breathless too often for his liking, though. As he flounders for a comeback, he hears a high-pitched noise from the other side of the room. 

Luke. Great. 

“What are you wearing?” Luke laughs incredulously. Han looks down at himself. He’d put on a fur vest today instead of his usual cargo one. It was something he’d snatched off some mook that’d tried to set him up with a dishonest deal. It’s old and it smells a little funny, but he likes it. It’s his now. 

“Wh—it’s a vest. It’s cold.” Han frowns. 

“You look like Chewie shed on you.” Luke leans his hip against the doorway as he settles in to mock. There’s a Wookiee outcry of indignation from the cockpit that goes unanswered.

“It’s a fashion statement.” Han adjusts his posture, gives them a new angle. Luke snorts. Han scowls.

“What exactly are you stating?” Leia rests her chin in her hands. She’s got a crumb on her cheek. He does not think about brushing it away. 

“You’re both terrible.” Han stomps off to change. 

“Right back atcha!” Leia calls after him. Her laughter is sweet, even at his expense. 

….

Run-ins with Empire patrols always put Han on a fine edge--he’s a well-oiled machine with Chewie at his back, but recent additions to the Falcon have proven…distracting. As he slams them into a hyperspace jump, the twins’ noise somehow drowns out the noise of the engine. Leia’s complaining that he took too many risks, Luke’s insisting he took too little, and Han’s half tempted to spin send the Falcon into a barrel roll just to hear a different sound.

Chewie won’t let him. The honorable bastard.

The moment they finish the jump, Han swivels out of his chair and goes…well, he’s not sure where he’s going, but he knows he needs to see and hear something besides Luke crunching angrily on crackers. 

Leia follows on Han’s heels, Luke follows on hers, and Han considers just ejecting himself from the airlock and being done with it. 

“If you want to die, be my guest, but don’t put us at risk for your ego.” Leia smacks his chest. Han can’t tell if he’s imagining the lingering touch of her fingers. 

“No, you’d miss me too much.” He fires back, pulling out of her grasp. He takes long strides, taking a petty sort of joy in hearing significantly shorter legs scramble after him. 

“Not a chance in hell,” Leia snarls, snatching the back of his vest. He whirls around. 

“Yes, you would, because things are boring without me. You like having me around.” He leans into her space. She stands her ground. 

“The fate of the galaxy is boring?” She conveniently ignores that last part. Han doesn’t miss it. 

“It is without me. Face it, princess. You’re attached.” He puts his hands on his hips. Leia’s face turns an interesting color.

“Ha! See? Attached!” Han points triumphantly. Leia smacks his hand away. 

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t need to. The truth’s all over your face.” He circles that pointer finger in her face. She smacks it hard enough to bruise this time. 

“The truth that I can’t stand you, more like. You’re arrogant, reckless, irresponsible—“

“And exactly your type.” Han grins. “You like having me around. Meanwhile, I’m cool, casual, and unattached.” Han clicks his tongue. Leia attempts to burn a hole through his forehead with her gaze. He worries for a moment that she might. 

“Really?” Luke crunches loudly. “I heard you telling Chewie that you like having us around. That you wouldn’t know what you’d do without us. Didn’t sound very cool and casual.” 

“I was drunk.” Han’s face burns. Leia snorts. Han scowls. 

“Drunk mind, sober thoughts.” Luke grins teasingly, waving a chip in his face. Han tries to snatch the bag, but Luke twirls effortlessly out of the way. Damn Jedi. 

“Sounds like you’re attached, laser brain.” Leia circles her finger in his face, and Han wonders if turning himself in to the Empire might be better for his ego.

…

Han’s not sure when his game with Leia stopped being a game and started being this, but he’s not complaining. He’s made out in worse storage rooms than the ones on the Falcon. They’d started with fetching a rations restock, devolved into bickering, and, well…their arguments usually end in violence or the threat of it, so Leia trying to climb him like a tree is a much-welcomed departure from form.

Normally Han’s great at keeping his emotions in a cold, dark little box where he never has to deal with them, but Leia looked so pretty yelling at him that he just…had to kiss her. He knew at that moment he’d die if he didn’t. It’s not the first time they’ve kissed and he hopes it won’t be the last, but each touch with Leia is like drifting closer to the beautiful terror of the sun. The best part, the overwhelming part, is that she wants him too. 

All of that would’ve been well and good, great even, if Luke hadn’t been standing in the doorway. 

Luke and Leia have some kind of stare-off that Han suspects involves their twinness--there’s lots of flustered, offended noises without words being uttered. Luke raises his eyebrow in a way that really seems to get to Leia, because she splutters, which she expressly does not do. 

“Don’t you start! I tolerate him!” She glares at Luke, her cheeks turning red. 

“Aww.” Han smirks. She elbows him in the ribs.

“With your mouth?” Luke’s near hysterical. 

“Among other things.” Han smirks wider. Luke’s face twists in sheer disgust. 

“Shut up,” Leia hisses, blushing and hitting him harder. He grins.

Luke levels a finger at Han, a habit he picked up from him in the first place, and then stalks off. 

“Chances he knifes me in my sleep?” 

“Lower than me doing it myself.” Leia swats his arm once more for good measure, but she’s still glowing, and Han thinks he might want to see that smile of hers for the rest of his life.

“I’ll take those odds.” 

The difference between Luke and his sister, in Han’s opinion, is that Luke’s noise goes inwards. Leia will scream at Han until she’s red in the face and then she’ll miraculously find more air. Luke gets quiet and vengeful, which is why Han starts to suspect foul play the third time he trips over thin air. 

Han really wants to fight back, but every time he opens his mouth, Leia’s lurking around some dark corner. 

On hour three of Luke’s temper tantrum, Han’s eye begins to twitch. He’s probably bruised every inch of his shins by now, he’s tired, and he thinks if he can close his eyes for an hour he might remember how to function. Just a sweet, Skywalkerless hour. 

Han drags his hand over his face as he walks off to his cabin. He finds Luke standing in the hall like an omen. He doesn’t move when Han approaches. The little furrow in his brow is probably meant to be intimidating, and maybe one day it will be, but Han can’t bring himself to care. 

The desire to lay down overcomes his rational thought, and he does to Luke what he often does to Leia: jams his hands under Luke’s arms and lifts him out of the way.

Except, unlike Leia, Luke doesn’t try to kick him. He lets out a giggle at a pitch Han didn’t know he was capable of. 

Han pauses, raising an eyebrow at the rapidly-reddening Jedi in his arms. He twitches his fingers. Luke chokes out a surprised laugh. 

Han’s suddenly not tired anymore. Funny, that. 

“Han, don’t you dare, c’mon--”

Han sets Luke down but doesn’t release him--he viciously wiggles his fingers where they’re trapped under Luke’s arms. He goes down like a sack of droid components, filling the Falcon with bright, bouncy laughter it so desperately needs. 

“You get a minute for every bruise, and my shins are looking mighty purple.” Han whistles lowly, pressing into the gaps between Luke’s ribs. Luke lets out a giggly hiccup and kicks his legs. 

“That’s not f-fair!” Luke clutches Han’s arms desperately. Han twitches his fingers and he curls up, shaking his head. Han distantly wonders when Luke last laughed like this. If he ever has. 

“Yeah? Tell me about it. Pick on someone your own size and maybe life will be fairer.” Han tries to keep his stare blank, but his mouth quirks up at the corners. Luke lets out an indignant gasp, but he quickly tumbles right back down into laughter.

“Let go,” Luke growls, his whole face scrunching around his smile. 

“Kid, I can’t let you go if you’ve got my hands.” Han gives a dramatic tug. He stops, raising his eyebrow expectantly. Luke pouts--pouts!--at him and lifts his arms at glacial pace. Han pulls away…

…and goes right for Luke’s exposed stomach. His shout of betrayal mixes beautifully with his laughter.

“Rookie mistake,” Leia tuts, snickering at Luke’s misfortune. Han jumps at her appearance--man, he should put a bell on these two--and Luke takes that as a signal to start wriggling away. Han reels him back in with a hearty laugh.

“Leia, fetch your--” Han cuts Luke off with a squeeze to the side before he can say anything embarrassing. 

“You gonna help, Your Worship? Or are you above getting your hands dirty?” Han casts a glance at Leia. 

“Never.” Leia smirks, kneeling beside Luke. They stare at each other for a long, tense while. Leia’s gaze drifts over him the same way she sifts through a plan for holes, until she stops at his knees. 

Luke’s eyes widen. Leia grins.

She latches on like a viper and Luke squeals, drumming his feet on the ground. He throws his head back and cackles himself into silence, flopping around uselessly. 

“Remind me to stay on your good side,” Han chuckles, a little nervous.

“You’re notoriously bad at it,” she smirks. Han swears he feels the ghost of her fingers on his own legs. He shudders.

Luke’s surrender is less of a cry and more of a wheeze, but they let him go quickly all the same. He tosses his arm over his glowing face with a great, heaving sigh.

“You alright over there?” Han chuckles, nudging Luke’s boot. He lifts his arm to glare.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Han pats his ankle. Luke kicks him. Han squeezes his knee and he immediately blurts out a tired, giggly apology. 

“Stop being a little shit and trying to trip me up. It’s not gonna work. Too cool for that.” Han pats Luke’s stomach. 

Warm hands wrap around his waist and he leans back, scaring himself with how easily he fits into Leia’s arms. She hooks her chin over his shoulder.

“Are you ready?” She murmurs, brushing her fingers over the fabric of his shirt. 

“Ready for what?” His hand finds hers. He’s more than ready, if he’s reading this right. She’s rarely like this beyond closed doors, and it sends a thrill through him. Her lips brushing his ear drives him just a little crazy. He starts to stand, but she pulls him back down. 

“To be tripped up.” She smirks. He feels it. 

“Wh—“ 

Leia’s fingers dig in with deadly accuracy. Han crumples and his bravado goes with him. Loud, hearty laughter bursts from him as he slides to the floor, boneless in her arms.

“Aw, look at you cool guy.” Luke sidles up next to him with a shit eating grin. He tickles mockingly under Han’s chin and he, mortifyingly, giggles. Luke chases the sound, having way too much fun for Han’s liking. 

Han growls and tries to kick him. Leia’s fingers find his hips—cruel and unusual—and he’s toast. He resigns himself to die in her lap, which isn’t the overall worst way to go, and makes a mental note to write Luke out of his will. 

As long as Chewie thinks he’s cool, he supposes it’s still a net win. 

[ask-spooky-manor]

Toby Character Headcanons

So I was tagged with a list of questions for me to answer that I reblogged, and while none of them were sent in my inbox, I still wanted to answer some cause they were really interesting.

Trigger Warning: I do talk about how abuse has affected Toby and how it has left some long lasting scars mentally and emotionally speaking. Not all of the headcanons are like that though, just be cautious. Nothing too in detail but can be uncomfortable

Clothing style

Toby’s style is like mixing grunge with cottagecore (goblincore is what it’s usually called). He likes his knitted sweaters and earthy tones, but at the same time he enjoyes ripped jeans and chunky black boots that can basically double as a weapon.

Eating Habits

Toby has a massive appetite. You will always catch him with a snack in his hands or complaining that he’s hungry despite having eaten a full meal not ten minutes ago. He just really likes food, and people in the house know to give him an extra serving for dinner

Hobbies

Music is more of a passion so tinkering around and making little gadgets is probably his number one hobby. He mainly likes to make things that blow up. Other general hobbies he has are cooking, hiking, uhhhh arson, and drawing

Fighting Style

He’s fully aware that he’s not the strongest or fastest or even has the most endurance, but Toby is extremely clever and crafty. He thinks way outside of the box and relies heavily on all of his odd little gadgets and inventions to surprise an enemy like smoke bombs, traps, loud fire crackers, you name it. He is an unpredictable fighter because you’ll never know what he has up his sleeves, and the surprise is something he will very much use against you. Not to mention that when he’s stuck in a sticky situation, he’s really good at coming up with on the spot plans that will get him out of trouble.

Ways he says I love you

Well, he will just say it. Toby won’t shy away from using the L word on anyone he even mildly likes. Though another way he shows it is through encouraging his loved ones to take care of themselves. He will make sure you eat properly, sleep well, take your meds, etc. Also hugs, Toby is a hugger.

Introvert or Extrovert

Extrovert, which surprised him when he realized it. Toby thought he was introverted for the longest time when in reality he was just dealing with a lot of nasty people who made him feel unsafe. Being alone felt safer, but at the same time it made him miserable because he naturally gains more energy with good people around. Ending up in the manor was the best thing to happen to him because now he has buddies he can spend time with like all the time.

Religious or Non-religious?

Complicated as fuck. He was raised Christian only to kind of despise organized religions as a whole. He would say he’s an atheist if he didn’t live with a literal moon god (Ben), so now he just has a beef with gods in general (Except Ben, they’re chill). Basically he thinks about how if these beings really are all powerful, all kind, all forgiving and omniscient and good then why the fuck did none of them help him? Why did it reach a point where he killed his own father? Why was he never saved? Basically, the idea of there being a higher power gets him in a bitter mood. Best to avoid the subject altogether.

Something he could never forgive.

Toby is generally a forgiving person but the one thing he could never forgive is when someone takes advantage of the kindness he is willing to give. Classmates did it in school as a way to bully him, and his dad would sometimes guilt trip favors out of him (usually to sneak him more beer, which will end up biting Toby in the ass when facing his drunk dad later on). Just the general act of trying to manipulate Toby, knowing they can toy with the heart he wears on his sleeve, is enough for him to want that person dead.

Something that scares him.

For the small, irrational fear; Toby is afraid of the dark. It’s just a childhood fear that he never really got over. It’s fine if he’s with someone but being alone in the dark will put him in fight or flight mode. For the bigger existential shit: dreads the idea of everyone secretly hating him. His own father and peers have created this idea in Toby’s mind that there is nothing good about him. That his own existence is nothing but a burden on others, so there’s always this fear that his friends and even his own boyfriend don’t actually like him and that it’s all a front. He knows that realistically that’s not true, but it’s hard fighting against a toxic mindset that was pushed into his brain at such a young age.

Did he grow up too fast?

No, thankfully. It was Lyra who had to grow up too fast. Connie did her best, she really did, but there have been a lot of times where it was Lyra who had to care for Toby. Especially after really bad nights where their dad thought having one more bottle wouldn’t be a problem. Toby was unlucky enough to have been surrounded by people that were cruel to him, but thanks to Lyra and his mom he at least was able to be a kid from time to time.

[legacyshenanigans]

Would MC ever try and surprise Marvolo in ways that weren’t sexual? Like for instance we know he loves sweets but has the boy ever had a proper home cooked meal (given he’s probably got house elfs and magic)? If she ever did try and do something nice for him I imagine he’d complain or question most of the way but would she ever go above and beyond and him genuinely appreciate it?

I'm using your ask to post this, as it was something I was thinking about doing 💜 and it fits this ask I feel 💚💚

So here's some fluffy fluff. 💓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marvolo x MC

Forever 💚

MC lead Marvolo through the Forbidden forest by the hand,

Marvolo: MC..Where are you actually taking me? 

MC: You'll see, i told you, its a surprise. *smiles*

Marvolo: *narrows his eye's at her*

They reached a little private area, a small flower patch between a few large trees. MC took out her wand. Marvolo spoke out in a teasing tone

Marvolo: Is it finally happening? Have you brought me out to the middle of the woods to kill me? Have you grown sick of me? *chuckles*

MC: *clicks her tongue in mild irritation but giggles* Don't be silly.

MC waved her wand over the area, revealing her surprise which she'd hidden with Magic, a table and two chairs appears, with floating candles, a spread of delectable meats and cheeses, fresh fruit, expensive wine, fancy crackers and breads. She looked at Marvolo and gave him a sweet smile

MC: Here we are.

Marvolo couldn't help but give her a little sweet grin of his own.

Marvolo: This is.. Perfect.

MC: I thought we could just sit, eat together, chat and laugh, and just forget about everything else for a while.

Marvolo: *small chuckle* I'd like that..

The pair sat together for hours, it was a really beautiful and peaceful night, MC felt like they hadn't done anything like this for a while, and was really enjoying herself, Marvolo seemed to be too. MC reached down to a little basket she had on the floor, picking up a cupcake she'd made for him.

MC: I tried to make your favourite, the pink cupcakes you love so much *giggles* But refuse to eat around other people.

Marvolo looked at the cute pink cupcake in her hand, she'd put a heart shaped sweet on the top of it, which made him give her a wide genuine grin as he took the cake from her hand.

Marvolo: You're...*sigh* So cute at times...You make me feel mushy...*cheeky smirk* Ruins my image, you know?

MC: *giggles*

Marvolo picked the heart shaped sweet from atop the cake, and looked at it for a moment, before turning to MC, bringing it to her lips, MC giggled and opened her mouth as Marvolo popped the sweet in there with a smile, before he ate his cupcake.

Marvolo: Delicious, you made this?

MC: Mhm *blushes*

Marvolo: *smirk* Well..I didn't realise you were so good at baking cakes, I think I prefer yours to the ones from the shops.

MC: I'm glad *sweet grin*

The pair chatted again for a while longer, MC had now made her way over to him and was sat on his lap, his arm tightly around her as they continued to chuckle and joke with one another and drink their wine. Marvolo put down his glass and stood, lifting her up with him, before gently setting her down.

Marvolo: I was glad you asked me to do this with you tonight....I'd been looking forward to this surprise since you'd mentioned it a few days ago.

MC: *blushes* I'm glad you liked it, I'm having fun. It's been really lovely.

Marvolo took hold of her hands and looked down at her.

Marvolo: I know I'm not..Romantic, all the time.

MC: I dont need you to be *sweet grin*

Marvolo: But you deserve it, you deserve the world, I'd give you the world if I could.

MC: I don't need the world..Just you.

She really brought out the softness in him, and although he still wasn't used to it, he didn't mind showing it to her once in a while, and only her. Marvolo smiled as he let out an almost shakey breath.

Marvolo: You own my heart... And you may have me...Forever.

Marvolo reached into his pocket and got down on one knee, MC let out a soft gasp, looking down at him in slight shock. He presented her with a black velvet box, opening it, to reveal a white gold ring with a large centre black diamond, with white diamonds on either side, and a circle of small diamonds around the centre stone, it was so elegant and stunning. He smiled up at her.

Marvolo: Would you do me the greatest of honours? And...Be my wife, MC?

A tear rolled down MCs cheek, she smiled so big her cheeks hurt.

MC: Of course I will! Yes! More than anything!

She'd never seen a smile on Marvolos face quite like this one, he slid the ring onto her finger and stood, picking her up in his arms again, she giggled as he kissed her.

Marvolo: You've just made me a very happy man, my love... *whispers* My everything..

~

[rain-ghoul-appreciator]

☆ its the cruel beast that you feed ☆

thank you @forlorn-crows for all the lovely prompts <3

mushy may day 2: late night snacks

paring: rain/swiss

under the cut or on AO3

rain for sure thought he was being sneaky. he was almost positive he didn't step on any of the creaky boards or breath to loud when he passed by his pack mates' rooms. and he was certain that no one followed him on his quest to the pantry.

as the pantry door creaked open, he was almost scared shitless because something creaked behind him. key word being almost. because there was nothing there for him to be afraid of. or so he thought.

as he pulled out a sleeve of crackers, two strong arms snaked around his waist. he wanted to scream, scream loud enough to wake the whole ministry, but the familiar scent and comforting scent of pine and something smokey hit his nose before the sound could even come out.

"swiss?" he mumbled, turning his head to meet the tired eyes of said multi ghoul. "why are you up?"

"was gonna ask you the same thing, droplet," swiss replied, nuzzling his nose into the crook of rain's neck. 

"got hungry," rain murmured. his attention went back to the crackers in his hand as he opened the package. before swiss could even hold out his hand, rain handed a cracker over before grabbing his own. 

"haven't seen you all day," swiss spoke, breaking the comfortable silence. "missed you."

"missed you too," rain said through a mouthful of crackers, reaching back to pat swiss's head. swiss purred, snuggling closer to rain. 

"left me alone with dew all day," swiss continued, his breath fanning out over rain's neck. "you know how many times he beat me in mario kart? five times, rainy, five! it boosted his ego to much and now he's insufferable about it." rain hummed quietly.

"sorry," he muttered, leaning back into swiss. he sighed and crunched on another cracker.

"stay with me tonight?" swiss asked, lifting his head to look at rain. rain nodded, leaning his head against swiss's. as swiss leaned in for a kiss, rain shoved another cracker in his face.

"can you not? m'trying to be romantic here," swiss whined, a pout settling over his lips. rain smiled and shook his head.

"hungry," he responded simply. swiss sighed, taking a cracker from rain. 

"can't believe i'm getting cockblocked by some fucking crackers," swiss complained. rain shrugged.

"you'll live."

"but what if i don't? what if i shrivel up and die because you'd rather eat crackers?" rain rolled his eyes and finished off the cracker he was eating before turning in swiss's arms. 

"i'm sure you're fine," he whispered, pressing a kiss to swiss's lips. swiss smiled and leaned in before scrunching his nose up and pulling away.

"you taste like crackers," he mumbled. rain giggled and leaned his forehead against swiss's. 

"does it taste good?" rain teased, wrapping his arms around swiss's neck.

"it definitely tastes like crackers," swiss replied jokingly, earning a playful wack on the chest from rain.

"would you rather i taste like something else?" swiss thought for a moment, a smirk spreading across his lips.

"yeah, me," he teased, poking rain's side. rain squealed and squirmed in swiss's arms.

"what was that for?" rain whined. swiss shrugged and leaned down to kiss the tip of rain's nose.

"just felt like it," swiss mumbled as he planted more kisses all over rain's face. his kisses, however, were interrupted by the loud, whale call-esque sound of rain's stomach growling.

"why does your stomach always have to ruin the mood?" swiss groaned. rain laughed and wiggled out of swiss's arms.

"hungry," he replied simply, grabbing the shredded cheese out of the fridge.

[zephyrmonkey]

Sick

Summary: Steven and Marc take turns caring for their sick girlfriend

Pairings: Steven Grant x reader, Marc Spector x reader

Warnings: Sick reader, mentions of a sore throat, Anything else that comes along with being sick

Word Count: 695 words

A/N: I wrote this back in July of 2022 while I was sick with Covid, but never finished it because I didn’t feel good enough and forgot about it.

“Okay, Love. I got your favorite chicken noodle soup, crackers, cough medicine, three types of throat lozenges, the popsicles you like, plus some push pops that I thought you’d enjoy. I also got three boxes of Kleenex with lotion, so they don’t hurt your nose.” Steven announces to the quiet and dark apartment.

“Mmm.” Is the only noise (y/n) makes to let her boyfriend know she heard him.

Steven puts the groceries on the kitchen counter and makes his way to the living room, where (y/n) is curled up on the couch, absentmindedly watching television.

Looking at his miserable girlfriend trying to hold in a cough makes Steven’s heartbreak. He turns to the closest mirror and sees Marc staring back at him with the same sad eyes. “Do you want me to front?”

Steven looked over at (y/n) again, who had just finished a small coughing fit and curled up further into the many blankets surrounding her. Steven solemnly nodes to his alter, and Marc quickly fronts and makes his way to his sick girlfriend.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Marc crouches in front of the couch to look (y/n) in the eye.

“Not good.” Her voice came out nasally, and by the pained expression she made, it is evident to both Marc and Seven (who is watching from afar) that her scratchy throat made it difficult for her to talk.

“Where’s Steven?” (y/n) asks, confused as to why he let Marc front. In the past, when she wasn’t feeling the best or down, he would be the one to comfort her. Steven is usually the comforter, while Marc is usually the protector.

“He um…” Marc looks in the mirror and sees that Steven is in no shape to take care of their girlfriend. “ He’s never seen you…um…in this bad of a state. He’s just worried about you.”

(y/n) gives him a weak smile and lazily pulls her hand from underneath the blanket and puts it on his cheek. “Tell him…that’s it’s…” she stops to cough. “fine…as long as…he’s here…it’s okay.”

Marc gives her a small smile before Steven’s voice enters his head. “Tell her I love her, and if she needs me, I’m here.”

“He loves you,” Marc tells the sick woman.

“I know.” (y/n) smiles at him as she shuts her eyes.

“If you need him, he will front.”

“I know.”

“Do you need him?”

“No.” She opens her eyes to look at the worried man who is trying (and failing) to show it. “You are great.”

Marc takes her hand and gently places it under the blanket and then continues to tuck her in. “Marc.” He stops to look at her. “Can I have some chicken soup?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” Marc quickly leaves to get what she asked for.

“You know she asked for the chicken soup to stop you from smothering her?” Steven asks his alter.

Marc chuckles lowly so (y/n) won’t hear him. “Yeah, I know.”

While Marc tries his hardest not to burn down his girlfriend’s apartment with the help of Steven, (y/n) closes her eyes and starts to fall asleep.

Just before she can, Marc places a hand on her shoulder. “Sweetheart. You need to eat.”

Without opening her eyes, she pulls her hand out from under the covers and tries to reach for the spoon.

Marc chuckles and places the soup on the coffee table, and takes (y/n)’s hand. “You need to sit up and eat.”

(y/n) makes a noise that Marc can only assume is her complaining. He helps her sit up, which is really just (y/n) leaning on Marc. Instead of handing her the soup, Marc picks up the bowl and puts it on his lap. He takes the spoon and dips it in the bowl.

“I can do it.” (y/n) mumbles, barely awake.

“Let me do it, Sweetheart.” Marc brushes her hair from her face and gently puts the spoon in her mouth.

After hearing her hum in enjoyment, he takes the spoon and puts it back in the bowl.

“Thank you.” She mumbles out.

He kisses the top of her head and gives her another spoonful of soup.

“Anything for you.”

[cats-and-confusion]

@cryptidwithaninternetconnection reminded me of incorrect quotes generators, so, spicynoodles, a list.

Red Son: Are you trying to seduce me?

MK: Why, are you seducible?

-

MK: Everything’s fine, Red Son.

Red Son: MK, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

-

MK: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Red Son: Fake?

-

MK: Do you want some tea?

Red Son: What are the options?

MK: Yes or no.

-

MK: *Hugs Red Son from behind*

MK: *Tucks Red Son's hair behind their ear*

MK, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

-

Red Son: I have feelings for you.

MK: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

-

Red Son: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

MK: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Red Son: ...

Red Son: You mean ring bearER, right?

MK: ...

Red Son: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

-

MK: Met a dumbass today. Awful.

Red Son: You looked in a mirror?

MK: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

-

Red Son: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

MK: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Red Son: But you’re always acting stupid?

MK: ...

MK: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

-

Red Son: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

MK: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Red Son, already taking off their clothes: God, MK, you’re so fucking stupid.

-

Red Son: Wow, they really hate us.

MK: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Red Son: But we’re not gay, MK.

MK:

Red Son:

MK: We’re not?

-

MK: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Red Son: AS ENEMIES?!

MK:

-

MK: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Red Son!

*Neither of them die*

Red Son: …

MK: …

Red Son: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

MK: No thank you.

-

Red Son: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

MK: For the monkeys.

Red Son: Why are you making pancakes for the monkeys?

MK: They don't know how.

-

Red Son: Did it hurt when you fell-

MK: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Red Son: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

MK: ...

Red Son: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Red Son: I'm tired.

MK: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!

Red Son: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

-

Site used was https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

[cloudycaffeinatedcryptid]

I have been taken by the sickness again (curse you viruses!) and sleep eludes me. Brainrot does not. What do you think each of the counselors are like when they're sick?

booo viruses :( i hope you feel better soon!

i think Jacob is the most dramatic about it. if you've seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, he's Cameron

total baby. even just for a cold. injuries, he barely notices, but gods forbid this man start to sniffle

Abi honestly prolly does what you're supposed to - she takes the day off, stays in comfy pants, drinks honey lemon tea & eats toast, takes the gross meds, a bath, & she's good by morning. couldn't be me but. yk. girlbossing

Ryan for sure just pretends it's not happening. he takes some cold n flu meds, keeps a water bottle close, and keeps having to blink spots out of his vision but he's fine! he's fine until his sister notices & chews him out bc he's always telling HER to take it easy when she's sick & "look here, mr. hypocrite, you better get in that bed or ELSE" so then he goes & lays in a dark room, listening to his podcast until he falls asleep

i think Emma prolly complains about it the entire time & spends an hour in a hot bath but i also don't think she stops working. if she can't go out, she's answering emails, keeping her social media updating, working on editing/scheduling/whatever an influencer does. picture Emma in her desk chair with atrocious hair, wrapped in a blanket, three mugs of tea, & a sinus strip just firing off emails

i see Dylan as a low-energy sick. barely awake, shuffling to the kitchen for crackers (he has a weak stomach when sick) wrapped in his comforter with his hair sticking up. sometimes he crashes on the couch, sometimes he makes it back to the bed, but it's all restless sleep, tossing & turning :( he keeps mumbling nonsense to his cat, who definitely tricks him into feeding him twice. you go schrodinger <3

Kaitlyn HATES being sick. she wakes up with a stuffy nose & a fever & she's like... "i'm gonna kill someone today & it might be myself". she has shit to do. she resists as much as she can & tries to do a bunch of things just to spite it, which usually ends up in her crashing hard & sleeping for twelve hours to recuperate. everyone knows to stay out of her way when she's stalking around, pale and clammy with a thermos at her hip, & just wait for the burnout

Nick doesn't get sick, even germs don't want this weirdo. i'm just kidding. kinda. anyway Nick one thousand percent just straight up goes comatose. dead to the world for 24 hours & then he's right as rain when he wakes up. how? no one knows. why? no one is brave enough to ask.

the love of my life, Laura, also tries to strongarm thru it but she's better about it. she takes her meds, sucks on cough drops, prolly drinks coffee to stay awake, & she's better about managing her workload. it's kind of just a background thing to her & it works great until her fever spikes high enough to be noticeable or she slips up & then Max finds out. he coaxes her to lay down on the couch while he makes them some soup & then they watch movies together until she falls asleep :,)

the other love of my life, Max, doesn't stand a chance. he coughs once & his girlfriend has a thermometer in his mouth & a mug of tea warming up. he always tries to downplay it, "honey, really, it's nothing" & it never works. he spends all day with a live-in nurse & he feels bad that she keeps doing things for him so he continuously plays the "i'm feeling better" & she lets him do it for the ten minutes before he throws up, then it's back to bed "& cut the bullshit this time, max"

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Hey could you do maybe like pregnant poly like Ariel’s gets pregnant and they take care of her and then the reader gets pregnant

The Greatest Gifts: Poly!Eric & Ariel x Hybrid!Reader

You and Eric couldn't believe it when Ariel told you two that she was pregnant, you three were so excited and couldn't wait to meet your future son/daughter. For the past three months, you two had taken care of her making sure that she didn't strain herself and just focused on making sure her and the baby were happy and healthy. If she had a craving, one of you two always got it no matter how ridiculous, back or feet hurting, you two were there attending to her every need, and don't get her started on when you two spoke to the baby, she swore it was the cutest thing, she saw. 

You had gone out to the ocean to give her father an update on how she was doing with the pregnancy since you were still able to get in the water and into the kingdom. You were returning to shore when you saw Eric standing there in a white button smiling as you came to shore, you had to admit that ever since Ariel had gotten pregnant seeing him as father made you realize that you wanted to have a kid too. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure of having you greet me at the shore?" You asked him as you walked on land.

"I was missing you, my love, I've been spending so much time with Ariel lately, that I've been neglecting my favorite hybrid." He said kissing you. 

"I've missed you too my love, but I know Ariel is our main focus right now but I won't complain if you wanna show me a little attention." You said as you kissed him.

Soon enough the gifts that King Triton had given to give to Ariel for the baby, were soon forgotten as you two were tangled up in each other in the sand. You two lay there catching your breaths when Eric noticed your far-off start meaning something was on your mind. 

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" He asked looking at you. 

"Seeing you this past month with Ariel and our kid has made me realize how much I want to have a kid with you, but given my nature, I don't think it would be possible." You said sadly as Eric's heart broke hearing how sad you sounded. 

"Hey hey look at me, you would be a wonderful mother, and no matter if our child turns out to be a human, mermaid, or hybrid like its mother, it would be the greatest gift ever. I know I didn't plan on Ariel getting pregnant so soon but I am willing to keep trying to see if it's possible as well for us, if you are." He said squeezing your hand. 

"I would like that a lot. I love you Eric." You said placing a kiss on his lips. 

"I love you, my little mermaid." He said smiling at you.

It was nearly three weeks later, Ariel was finally showing, and by goodness did she have this beautiful glow about her. You three were currently eating breakfast and talking about your plans for that day when you felt yourself getting sick. 

"Y/N!" Ariel called out seeing you dart for the nearest trash can. 

You were puking your brains out when you felt Eric grab your hair and rub your back, as you finished puking. One of the maids handed you a napkin to wipe your mouth as you stood back up and suddenly felt lightheaded. 

"Here take a seat my y/n." Eric said helping you into a chair.

"Can one of you go get the doctor please and thank you?" Eric asked one of the maids. 

He sat with you making sure you ate some crackers and drank some water while they waited for the doctor to come, and stepped out to check on Ariel who was looking at you concerned. 

"I need about twenty minutes to do some tests on her." The doctor said as Eric nodded his head leading Ariel to the dining table.

"Y/n what is it?" They both asked as you walked back into the dining room. 

"I'm...I'm pregnant." You said in disbelief as your two lovers looked at you. 

"You are? That's amazing! How far along are you?" Ariel asked wrapping her arms around you. 

"The doctor suspected maybe 4-6 weeks, which means our babies will be born almost four months apart." You smiled at her. 

"This is so wonderful!" She said smiling at you as Eric walked over. 

"She's right this is such amazing news, sweetheart, I'm happy right now." He said wrapping his arms around you and spinning you around.

"Eric!" You said giggling as he put you down. 

"I'm sorry and just so you know if they are human, mermaid, or hybrid like you we will love them unconditionally." He said smiling at you.