#if you just stop spamming the trackpad or left click mouse button all the time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goldkirk · 2 years ago

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at least once a month I look up and go when the FUCK did I get a dog????? when the HELL did I get here? how did I end up in Seattle? what happened to my life? when did I get a DOG??????? why am I so shut out of my family? how did I mess things up? what carnage did I leave in my path? who said I could make decisions and move out here? why did I make a decision at all? What happened to me? How do I know any of this is right or safe? Why did I get a dog? Where are the kids? what caused me to finally leave? Why am I here? When did I flee? Why did I flee?

and then I remember who cares about the details if I’m feeling better here, and go merrily about my day knowing they’ll come back when they’re needed and someday the facts will stay.

#I have gone to a lot of therapy and read a lot of neuropsychology books to learn the simple lesson:#as a famous beatle once said: LET IT BE.#panicking won’t make ur brain give up the memories and neither will frustration and neither will a battering ram #so sit down and shut up and try out a paintbrush or some animal pets perhaps and have green tea and then maybe you’ll calm down #trust past you even if you don’t remember #it’ll come back if it’s important enough #sometimes…you need to not know things. that’s not okay but I’m learning it’s okay #better to not know day to day what you’re gonna know #than to you know. be dead #add to journal #personal #amazingly our brains like being left to process at their own speed and will in fact work more smoothly #if you just stop spamming the trackpad or left click mouse button all the time #dissociation

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