#if you have a recipe pls send it my way otherwise I'll have to go hunt one down

[reallifepotato]

I have been craving the most densely chocolatey cake or brownie. Death by chocolate. Imma have to make it because it's been like a week and the craving won't go away

[eldritchmochi]

an updoot: SURGERY HAS BEEN SCHEDULED

it is unfortunately not until october 4th :I

which honestly is kind of what we were expecting. at least i get to have my already-paid-for vacation??????? :III

my PFML paperwork should be processed by end of next week at the latest, so i should hopefully be able to get my back pay before i need buy more than an absurd number of cans of a very specific chicken broth, but i am going to have a couple of bills due soon that we are unlikely to be able to cover out of cherry's paycheck

i have my credit card payment, due sept 13th, thats a minimum of $200 (the balance is so high now o__o;;) then my phone bill, due sept 15th, for $80

cherry's check comfortably covers all their bills, they just don't get paid til the 14th so we can't cheese my credit card (i know calling and asking for an extension is an option but i dont wanna move the goalpost if i can help it since idk for sure when i'll get my back pay just yet). I do have about 75 bucks already, so it's not too big of a gap to fill. venmo and paypal are both @/sumomomochi

i HAVE however gotten quite a bit forward into coping skills, so i have 31c and probably soon 31d i can offer up as bait for EQUIVELENT EXCHANGE should u prefer. no minimum cos this is an "anything helps" kinda situation, just dm me sum proof or include an email in ur purchase notes and i'll send u GEEFT. i also have an offer for DEVELOPMENTAL EDITING i'll throw a post up for soon too so keep ur eyes peeled for that link

as far as food goes, i am pretty set for probably the next week or so. i have just an ungodly amount of nutritional shakes, and we have some buddies who are gonna come help batch make some meals for cherry to stock our freezer. if you have suggestions for super easy super cheap batch meals that do not hinge on garlic and/or onion for flavour, my asks are open gimme recipes

i am also bored out of my fucking gourd so once again i beg of u, gimme ENRICHMENT. liveblog rereading my fic and tag me, or demand not pinterest boards i hate pinterest but like clothing reference for xyz outfit in whatever fic (its all real clothing folks. mostly), or otherwise make me lecture on something. blese. im bored ;n; (see above for other approved modes of harassing the moch)

IN CONCLUSION:

i got $280 in bills i gotta pay next week and only $75ish to put towards them. vm/pp are both @/sumomomochi i will send you Yet More Porn if u give me a way to do so

alternatively, i'll be offering my services as a developmental editor for all your smutty need. deets will be linked here when i get THAT post up

further, soliciting recipes for easy and cheap meals to batch make, especially if theyre like "put can of x in crockpot alongside x seasoning packet and sum meat, enjoy 4-6hrs later". pls send me an ask or i guess dm me a link if theyre links its chill you can cold call

finally, i have ten more weeks stuck doing BASICALLY nothing please for the love of god entertain me you have permission i promise i have a high tolerance for weirdos and am very good natured about people being awkward

okay so, to have a place for consolidated information for the next little bit, since i'm sure folks have QUESTIONS given my incredibly aggressive gallows humour

MOCHI, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?? (guts edition)

tldr ive been getting a number of recurrent small bowel obstructions located in my duodenum (first part of the small intestine, connecting the stomach to the rest of the bowel) due to external pressure on the duodenum around the 3rd to 4th (of 4) section. what's causing the pressure?? no clue actually ive done a bazillion scans and none of them have been quite clear enough for a real confident dx so i get to have surgery about it at some point in the near future

current theory is the pressure is from some sort of non-cancerous tumor mass and the plan is to cut me open nice and big, look about, and remove both this mass and the affected section of the duodenum (.5 of an organ) at a minimum, but may involve fully bipassing the duodenum when my guts get hooked back up to my stomach which could (would???) also require removing my gallbladder (1 and 2 organs respectively) (i'm having so much yanked out of my abdomen this summer jfc)

atm i'm still waiting for scheduling to give me a call to set things up. surgeon's estimate was 4-5 weeks from now (8/17 when he called). from that point i'll spend a week-ish in the hospital to make sure all hoses are firmly affixed, and then i'll have a month at a minimum before i'm reasonably healed and can go back to normal life

i have good insurance and the luck (????) of being incredibly ill at the best of times, so i've already hit my out of pocket max and thus this WHOLE THING even back dating to my first er visit end of june will cost a whopping 189$ that i've already paid. i also should qualify for my states paid medical leave and my wife will get a hefty chunk of change for living expenses via student loans. however, both those things won't hit until late september at the earliest

long term, im not expecting much of a financial burden, but short term we could use a hand with groceries and similar while we wait for my backpay and my wife's student loans

for venmo and paypal: i am @/sumomomochi for both and either is fine, though pp is labeled as a business account so pls mark f&f if you can

i also have this amazon wishlist ( https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/N1NSTH3JPCX2?ref_=wl_share ) that is like 90% meal replacement shakes and bulk shelf stable snacks, but also has a couple of other useful things like bathing wipes since i am unlikely to be able to shower well post surgery, pj pants for when it cools down (i went up a size with t because my ass and thighs got just so beefy and thus have one pair that fits rn lmao), and cat food for the penni (gotta keep my nurse well paid)

uuuh what else

like i said, i'm incredibly ill at the best of times so i am a champ at weathering this sort of stuff its nbd. "i'm sorry"s are not helpful, i'd much rather have people ask direct specific questions, either about my health status or things i'm doing to keep busy (ie "any new and fun things causing tummy issues?" or "hows your battle vest coming?" or "whats your fav line youve written this week?"). engagement and entertainment is Important to keep me from climbing the walls but i swear i will bite at straight sympathy

things ive been doing to keep me out of the er include: laying on my left side or stomach (The Digestion Position; helps get food past the squished part); eating a semi-liquid diet (hence ensure, jello, pudding, the like, though its important that i also eat solid food as much as is tolerated, which is such a delicate balance. this is why i cannot currently work); going on stupid little walks for my stupid digestive health (honestly the most important thing i can do, which im mad about, because it requires pants, but not only encourages guts to digest but also will help me not decondition, which i have already done a lot of :I)

things YOU can do to help (because i know *i* am a helper but also what is actually helpful??): financially with the above deets (no pressure); asks, comments, and other conversational interactions (i am absolutely chill with basically any kind of question and i dont mind dms if youd prefer privacy, just dont pedestal me i promise i am just A Dude); fanart for my fics (i do not care if you "cant draw" i will still love it); prompts for fandom but not necessarily fic projects (wardrobe moodboards/meta for characters, playlists/songs, smut writing how to questions, cosplay progress/plans qs, those "what was x's pov in this scene/what specifically happened between x and y in this fic?" qs andor other ask meme things idk dude i haven't been able to do shit for almost three months im booooored)

in conclusion

nurse penni says do not worry about herb patient, he is in good hands, just be sure to offer regular enrichment