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paloma-ascends-into-hellfire · 10 months ago

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on beauty standards and internalized racism

my great grandmother- my bisabuela- was beautiful, according to everyone. i have no pictures of her. i don’t even know her name. but i do know that she was my abuela’s dad’s mistress, and had a bunch of kids out of wedlock. and the most important thing: her eyes were blue.

in el salvador in the 50s, blue eyes were the epitome of beauty. they still are, actually. growing up, people would say to my mother, “it’s a shame you didn’t have blue eyes like your grandma. she was so beautiful.” my mom’s self esteem, unsurprisingly, took a hit.

i don’t remember the first time i heard this story, or the first time i realized that my family did not meet the beauty standards. i do remember being four and begging my tía to straighten my hair. i remember being five and creating a character named alison who had pale skin, dark, straight hair, and piercing blue eyes. i remember being six and colouring myself with “skin colour”- crayola’s apricot. i remember being seven when i stopped speaking spanish because i didn’t want to be seen as weird. i remember being seven and praying to god that i would wake up with light skin and straight hair, preferably red. i remember being eight and girls floofing my ponytail and playing with my hair, giggling, “it’s so soft!”. i remember being nine, and when i told my blonde friend i wished i looked like her, she replied “no offence, but i’m glad i don’t look like you.” i remember being ten and learning for the first time about what el salvador’s history was truly like. i remember being eleven and being told i was aggressive and too loud and opinionated by my teacher. i remember being twelve and begging my parents to let me straighten my hair. i remember being thirteen and, when the boys played smash or pass, hearing sounds of disgust when my name was mentioned. i remember being fourteen and wishing my hair would stay straight when i straighten it, wondering idly what my life would be like if i was white.

i have had one brown teacher, my eighth grade math teacher. she had a strong tamil accent and dark skin, and loopy handwriting reminiscent of tamil. she was the victim of many cruel jokes and imitations of her accent, and when she began to cry because she missed her daughter in another province, she was met with mockery. even my friends complained that they couldn’t understand her, that she was too strict. but how else was she supposed to handle these white boys who were bigger, stronger, more respected than her?

that is not the teacher i remember. i remember how she gave me a piece of chocolate when i was feeling faint from not eating. i remember how she gently corrected me when i added instead of multiplying: “careless mistakes. read your work over.”

so even though i grew up in the progressive 2010s, i grew up in a rural, mostly white town. no one i knew looked like me, spoke spanish, or really cared about my culture. i grew up believing i was ugly because my hair was curly and my skin was darker than almost everyone i knew (i’m not even that dark). so i disappeared, tried to be like them. even though i don’t remember the exact moment i realized i was not the beauty standard, but the words that still sting are, “i’m glad i don’t look like you” and the jeers from boys playing smash or pass.

at seven, i refused to wear pants. when i wore dresses - which was often - i was called a snobby city girl. when i didn’t, i was mistaken for a boy. i was met with several crude “you’re such a girly girl” insults. but at that age, i would have rather been called a girly girl than a boy.

i watched my friends shift from their pink phases to their anything but pink ones. i watched my idea of femininity come crashing down. and then i turned thirteen.

i realized that maybe i wasn’t a girl. i began to use she/they pronouns and discovered the term demigirl. but something still felt wrong.

one day, i saw a post about how black and brown women aren’t considered feminine. my mind was blown and i started to wonder if i thought that. i wondered if i was actually a demigirl or if my sense of what it was to be a girl has been fucked up by my town and society. i still don’t know.

this is why representation is so important. i have a myriad of issues thanks to this rigorous belief that brown women, and therefore me, are not pretty. this is not recent. just look back at my bisabuela. my brown eyed mother, my indian math teacher, and me - we were, are, and will continue to be victims of this shadow of white supremacy, most likely for as long as we live.

i can’t change this single handedly with a tumblr rant. but the first step is realizing how much the small things add up, how many of our thoughts are influenced by this.

thank you for reading if you’ve read this far.

#colonialism #colonization #racism #internalized racism #long post #rant #beauty standards #brown girls are beautiful too

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aadyeah · 4 years ago

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Okay so despite living in Chennai for years and brought up there, I’m not very fluent but here’s the gist of what @neon--mess said

Hey idiot *followed by insulting word which my grandma refused to translate* don’t you have any sense at all (like are you fucking stupid) and then something along the lines of you won’t be peaceful and you won’t leave us in peace either with your bullshit (not really what they said but like the gist then again) everyone is desi. People like me who speak Tamil, people who speak Hindi, Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Urdu are all desi as well. To say that they’re desi there’s only one condition, they gotta be south Asian.

“Irundha desi” I think that means people who were Indian, people who don’t speak Hindi and or don’t live here anymore- excluding those people is fucking stupid (they didn’t say fucking or an equivalent, it just happens to be my addition to it). don’t come here like some *insert gali that I forgot what it meant again lmao* and blah blah blah I forgot most of what that means and then something along the lines of go do any work if you have to and like get lost (my personal addition)

I had fun doing this, hope you understand the gist of it

@neon--mess bro

i love you so much

this dude is so so so so precious oh my god

#thanks for the translation!

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southeastasianists · 6 years ago

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In the home of this Hindu family, there is a Catholic altar as well as a Buddhist altar. Here, there is a place for different gods and religions because that is the philosophy this family has known for generations.

Mr Rishnaiswaren Pillay recalled how his paternal grandmother used to bring him and his brother to Malay shrines, called a keramat, to pray and give offerings.

“My grandma always told us that all religions are one and that we’re all humans after all. When we cut our hands, we have the same (coloured) blood,” said the 30-year-old business analyst.

“We don’t let go of the Hindu practices. It’s just that … we have add-ons.”Acceptance is a word he uses, as does 71-year-old Ponnosamy Kalastree, who is from the same community and also goes to different places of worship because “all religions preach good things”.The ability to accept not only different religions but also cultures is “in our DNA”, said Mr Ponnosamy. And that is the DNA of the Chetti (or Chitty) Melaka community – the Peranakan Indians.“I always used to say, ‘Chetti is three in one,’” he said. “Basically we’re Indians, but we’ve embraced the Malay and Chinese culture.”The community stretches back centuries. But its age-old culture has been eroded and is at risk of vanishing.

There are now around 200 Chetties recorded in Singapore, and it was only in the last decade or so that concerted attempts have been made to preserve their practices, from their language, food and dressing to their way of thinking.

They may be little known, but the likes of Mr Pillay and Mr Ponnosamy see reasons to hope.

CHETTI-STYLE QING MING

The Chetti Melaka are the oldest Peranakans in this region, descendants of South Indians who first settled in Melaka during the reign of the Melaka Sultanate (15th to 16th centuries) and married women of Malay and Chinese descent.

The word ‘Chetti’ means merchant, and these pioneering traders adopted many of the local Malay and Chinese cultural influences over the years.

As Mr Ponnosamy often tells his wife Dora, a Chinese Singaporean, she is “quite lucky to marry an Indian like me because I’m well-versed in the Chinese culture”.

One of the most important Chetti customs, for example, comes from the Qing Ming Festival, a Chinese tradition also known as the tomb-sweeping festival.

Unlike the usual Indian practice of cremation, the Chetti followed the Chinese custom of burial in the past.

And when the time came to pay respects to their ancestors, they too would visit the graves, clear the weeds and make offerings.

“You’d put the various types of food, cakes and all that … put the flowers round the whole grave, then you’d light the joss stick,” described Mr Ponnosamy, who is the president of the Peranakan Indian (Chitty Melaka) Association Singapore.

This is followed by a mixed ritual called Bhogi Parachu, ancestral prayers incorporating Indian and Chinese elements.

At home, the Chetti would fill banana leaves with their ancestors’ favourite foods – as Indians would do – while lighting red candles according to Chinese prayer customs. It is a reunion day of sorts for Chetti families, “when everyone comes together”.

“Parachu was a big part of my life when I was young,” said Mr Pillay. “Because it was a day, apart from Chinese New Year and Deepavali, when we had crowds coming into our houses.”

But these days, especially since his grandmother is dead, it is too great an effort for his family to cook all their ancestors’ favourite dishes, so Parachu is now a small affair for him.

Mr Ponnosamy has also seen a gradual loss of this tradition as more Chetties convert to other religions. He has relatives, for example, who do not want to eat the food offered because they are Christian, he said.

“They’re confused between culture and religion,” he added. “They don’t realise that this isn’t Hinduism.”

DISTANCE MAKES A DIFFERENCE

One person who is able to reconcile his religious beliefs and his culture is Bible teacher Devastry Parasurama Bok, known simply as David Bok. He was born a Hindu, but becoming a Christian did not detract from his Chetti identity.

The 70-year-old permanent resident thinks, however, that the Chetti in Singapore have it tough because of that distance from Melaka, the heart of the Straits Indian culture.

One of the festivals – the most important one in the Chetti culture there – that is still going strong is the Datuk Chachar festival every May, a 12-day event dedicated to the Hindu goddess Mariamman.

She was given the name Datuk Chachar because she is known to cure ailments like chicken pox (chachar in Malay). Families used to return for the festival, but hardly so nowadays, as polytechnic student Sathyavani Balan Krishnan discovered.

When the 23-year-old recently visited her maternal grandmother’s birthplace to understand her roots, she learnt that the community in the Chetti village get to see their relatives only for a day now, if at all.

And since her grandmother died when she was eight years old, “it just felt very weird that there was this whole other tradition and culture going on that we had no idea about”, she admitted.

The thing is, a lot of them looked like my relatives. The features were all so similar, so it was a bit eerie.

Indian Heritage Centre curator Nalina Gopal agreed that youngsters like Ms Sathyavani have become distanced from their roots. “Where family history hasn’t been preserved, there might be a loss also in terms of their own Chetti Melaka antecedents,” she added.

One of the differences between Singapore and Malaysia is language, and that is another reason for the loss of the culture, as the Chetti traditionally speak a Malay patois infused with Tamil and Mandarin. It is called Chetti creole.

“So if one generation passes, that disappears too,” said Mr Bok.

Mr Pillay used to speak it a bit with his grandmother. He called her nenek, as the Malays would. Mr Ponnosamy’s daughter Sheila did likewise, growing up not realising “there were other terms that the Indians call their grandparents”.

In creole, grandfather would be topeh, according to Mr Sithambaram Muragason Pillay. “The ‘to’ is from Malay, the ‘peh’ is from Chinese … so they mixed it,” he said.

His son, who grew up speaking Malay, is now hoping to relearn Chetti creole.

OF DRESS AND FOOD

The westernisation of Singapore has not helped, including in terms of dress, said Mr Ponnosamy.

Traditional Chetti outfits reflected the styles of the Javanese, Bugis, Acehnese, Batak and Tamil. But generally, the men would wear the Malay sarong and batik shirts.

Meanwhile, the women would wear the sarong kebaya just as the Peranakan Chinese would, but incorporating Indian elements such as a thali, the gold chain worn by married women, and the pottu (dot on the forehead).

These days, dressing up the traditional way would be possible only on “grand occasions”, said the younger Mr Pillay, which he sees as one of the reasons it is difficult to “prove to (others) that we’re proud to be Chetti”.

“If you happen to (enter a temple in a kebaya), there’d be societal pressure from other Indians in the temple who’d say, ‘Why don't you use a sari?’”

When it comes to food, Chetti cuisine is a blend of Indian, Malay and Peranakan Chinese styles. But as both Mr Pillay and Mr Ponnosamy attest, their daily choices veer towards the Malay and Chinese options.

Mr Ponnosamy said: “If you ask me to go to Banana Leaf (restaurants) every now and then, I can’t eat. Because it’s too Indian. We have to have our mixed type of food.”

Sambal goreng rather than typical Indian curry, added his 47-year-old daughter. And definitely the kueh-kueh. She said:

When I grew older … I realised the Indians in India had a different palate for desserts. They have the laddu and other types of sweets, so it’s very different.

There is no Chetti restaurant in Singapore nor even one in Melaka, according to Ms Gopal.

But the real conundrum for the community is how interracial marriages, which go to the core of their identity and are becoming more common in Singapore too, is contributing to the loss of lived culture.

“Some of them don’t consider themselves to be Chetti any more,” noted Mr Pillay.

The Chetti are “so accepting of differences” that ethnic intermarriages may cause them to be “absorbed by majority cultures”, agreed Ms Gopal, 34.

But that may not be the case for all. “The degrees are varying for each family, depending of course on their own personal journey,” she said.

And she believes that cultural aspects such as food – “which is devoid of any religious overtones” –language or even dress are what people can “reconnect with their Chetti Melaka-ness”.

HOPING FOR THE NEXT GENERATION

In terms of a physical place, there is a Chitty Road in Little India, indicating the community’s historical presence here. But that is now a “very small street” that few people associate with the Chetti, said Ms Gopal.

What has been a real marker for the community’s revival, however, was historian Samuel Dhoraisingam’s book Peranakan Indians of Singapore and Melaka, published in 2006 by the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies.

It was launched by the late President S R Nathan, who encouraged members of the community to “take advantage of the momentum and start an association”, recalled Mr Bok.

By 2008, the association was registered, with Mr Ponnosamy also as one of the founding members. It started off by doing mainly research, talks and workshops, culminating in a 2014 symposium titled The Lost Tribe of Chetti Melaka.

“That raised awareness, and you got some Chetti Melaka coming out of the woodwork. Because you don’t know who they are, you see,” said Mr Bok, himself a prime example of that point, with his Chinese looks.

Now, on an even bigger scale, the exhibition Chetti Melaka of the Straits: Rediscovering Peranakan Indian Communities is being held at the Indian Heritage Centre, which may spark memories for anyone who might have overlooked their Chetti roots.

Mr Ponnosamy hopes so. “The hope is to encourage the younger generation to come forward,” he said. “You have to do your own research, your own family tree … but obviously, you’ll definitely know that somehow or other you’re (Chetti).”

That was the case for Ms Sathyavani. Her father is a Malayalee Indian, but because her grandmother was from Melaka, she assumed that she was also Peranakan, though “not specifically Chetti”.

Despite not practising the rituals, save for enjoying the Chetti dishes her mother would cook occasionally, she would “hate to see” the culture gone because of her generation.

“I want to be part of the community and the youth who document this (culture), and that’s something I’m looking into,” she said.

However, it cannot be just a matter of obligation, said Mr Pillay, whose mother is a Tamil Indian.

“I’ve a lot of friends who say that 'actually my grandma is Chetti, actually my granddad is Chetti'. But they don’t practice, or they don’t visit our village,” he said.

“It’s just a choice of whether you want to proudly say that you’re a Chetti or your roots are from Chetti.”

The early signs are positive. Since the exhibition opened last month, the Peranakan Indian association’s membership has doubled to around 200. And Mr Ponnosamy estimates that there could be as many as 5,000 Chetties here.

But that is not the key thing. “(The exhibition) is meant for members of the public who are Chinese, Indian and Malay,” he said, stressing that the different communities must make an effort to mix to develop the Singaporean identity.

“We can’t say that ‘we’re Indian, okay you’re Chinese’. No, we want everybody to be together … They should be one. We’re one.”

#Southeast Asia #Singapore #Peranakan Indians #Melaka Sultanate #People #Identity #Heritage

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lighthouseofthewanderess · 6 years ago

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Experiment

Have you ever done something you clearly know isn’t meant for you? If yes, welcome to the club of Unlucky yet Brave Experimenters. UBE was a one member secret club for the longest time before the founder, me, dissolved it out of realization that life itself was about experimenting. But I could resurrect it and we can pretend to be the Illuminati or something.

My years of experimenting started long ago. I don’t know if we can count it, but I ate chalk when I was in kindergarten. In my head, I had eaten earth from the garden and it had tasted so rich. The texture was brilliant, and the color stuck to my fingertips. Some of the earth got under my nails and I could snack on that later. Chalk I thought was no different. But when I ate it, oh boy it tasted so much better! It even came in an easy stick format to break off into bites. My grandpa on my mother’s side looked amused every time I bounced up to him demanding slate chalk. I would always say it got over, I’m studying well, or that my friends stole it from me. He willingly gave into my trickery till he caught me chewing on it while practicing my alphabets on the slate. I just couldn’t help it; I need to think and chewing chalk helped. After that, my grandpa made it a rule that I drink a glass of milk -- “she’s eating chalk because her body needs calcium.” he would scold my grandma like it was her duty to have figured this out before him.

Anyhoo, I kept UBE a secret affair. The caterpillar that just won’t float on water? I really thought they were capable of it. The dolls with eyes carved out and replaced with marble? Why was it creepy, she had beautiful eyes now. For a long time I stuck to things around me and it fueled my curiosity but I also got bored of it too soon. I gave it up -- for the poor butterflies, the ants, and flowers that were getting tortured by me. My heart was a noble one. Head held high I went about life accepting things the way they were. Then I got the brilliant idea of experimenting with myself. The mission was simple; do one unexpected thing every day. What was I on the search for? The million different parts of me that make me who I am. It started with the coloring. My teachers in India complained that I might have an eye problem. “She is coloring roses blue and all.” I wish I can see their faces now when there’s not just blue but black roses as well. Ha! Then I thought why not fight for the things I believed in. I undid the red ribbon of a girl in class and when she yanked it from my hand, I yanked it back. It turned into a fight just like I expected and we stood on top of the benches and wrestled with each other. That experiment ended up with bruised elbows and a 100 ‘I am sorry’ on the blackboard. Damn that girl. I was just trying to see if I had a fighter in me. UBE would have to some basic rules that saved them from situations like this. Rule #1: If your experiment involves a person, an animal, a flower or any living thing… do not harm it. Fate will boomerang back. That left me the only choice of putting myself in awkward situations. After pre-school, mom would take about 2 hours to come pick me up. Her job was tricky. So I would play around, seesaw on my own or just sleep on benches. A light bulb went off in my head during one of those slumbers. Next day after I finished up, I climbed the stairs and sat inside the 5th grade class. The teacher didn’t object, the students welcomed me with open arms. Literally. They picked me up and took turns seating me on their lap. The blackboard swarmed with letters and symbols I didn’t understand but I stared at it fully in awe. In my eyes, this experiment was a successful one. I would come back and wait right on time for mom to pick me up. I was so used to the routine that even the lunch my mom packed would be forgotten, eaten only minutes before she arrived. One unlucky day she caught me eating my lunch, which had kind of gotten spoilt in the summer heat, on the steps by myself. I looked super content, but my mom almost burst into tears. After that she got an aaya to pick me up right after school and keep me with her, make sure I was fed on time. Time for UBE to have another rule. Rule #2 - Tread with caution when there are moms involved. They have the power to banish all experiments.

With these two rules, I had my fill of experimenting without hurting anyone for years. Even in the US. Climbing trees, hanging like a bat, fries in my ice cream. Life was so rich when every day was a new affair. There was one time I took UBE to the next level. A midnight release of a new Harry Potter book was announced. There would be games and exciting gifts, almost the whole school was going. But I wasn’t a fan. I knew nothing the other potter heads knew. Rise to the experiment, oh brave one I told myself and dragged my mom with me. At the library every one had dressed up. Polaroids were being clicked. There were cauldrons with little wands. There was a line of people waiting to answer and get their prizes. I happily went and stood there. As my turn approached, I didn’t have the slightest fear that I wouldn’t be able to answer. The point wasn’t to win, it was to experiment. The lady at the counter asked me a question.

“What was the name of Ron’s brothers?” Um, no clue. I shook my head. The line behind me gasped. I heard them whisper that I didn’t know even the basics.

“Okay. Here’s an easy one, hon.” She asked me about the platform number. Someone in line even offered to answer for me. I shook my head again.

“I just wanted to know what the prize was, that’s all.” I said to her, shrugging my shoulders. She smiled and gave me one last questions.

“Who are Muggles?” I paused to give it a thought. The line was getting restless, they hated my guts. Well, everyone has to human right? Plus she used ‘who’.

“Humans?” I stated. Everyone broke into an applause and some even clapped me on my back. Well done they said. At least you know the difference between the wizard and the human world. I was just happy I get the gift. It was a pack of gummy worms. Aw man, really? Rule #3: A smart experimenter assesses risks.

From there I went on try one thing after another. Spanish classes. Adding ‘ito’ to everything didn’t work so I stepped out of class. Bharatnatyam went on for a bit but Ballet was more fascinating. Swimming felt like I still needs to sprout some fins so I made a mental note to try it out later. Caramel apples. Plaster-of-Paris. Swinging from the door. They all went down in UBE’s history. I remember playing the piano for a recital. I practiced with a Casio keyboard at home and rendered the beautiful ‘To a wild rose’ by McDowell. Bach. Beethoven. It started getting too sad for some reason. Switch to something else. Karate. Held onto that till the gold belt and then tossed that away too. I was super restless. I was focused so much on getting my little feet into everything that I never stuck to anything for too long. What if I’m meant to do something more? Ice skating. The flute. Singing. It was all a whirlwind when I look at it now. I don’t even know if I had a favorite hobby. Well, maybe climbing trees. But I couldn’t choose one. Too much experimenting. Rule #4: UBE practices a good interval between two experiments. To learn and experiment better in the future.

Somehow, on the way to India, I lost UBE. Maybe I packed it with the wrong boxes. Maybe I have to join another secret club when I land there. I knew it the minute cranberry juice was placed in front of me, a thousand feet above sea level. I didn’t feel like trying it out. What? That doesn’t normally happen. I tried to sleep it off. Then I blamed it on the jet lag. Then came the ‘national’ language called Hindi and what a horrible experiment. When my Principal, John Zachariah, admitted me in the middle of the year he asked me why I was hell bent on Hindi. Why not try French? “I am a secret experimenter” I whispered when my mom stood far, straining to hear what we were discussing. In a year, I changed that to Tamil, another experiment but a successful one at that. I tried my hand at throwball, loved the matches in the rain. For the sports day, I did the ridiculous thing of trying out for tug-o-war. Here was another joke -- this girl was underwait, a thin fragile thing and she fainted a lot. But when pitched with others at the tryout, I won all three. Pure bone weight. All those glasses of milk and chalk must have nursed my bones. The last significant thing I tried, apart from writing, was the National Cadet Corps. NCC in a lot of ways made me tougher, even thought I was just eyeing the 15% marks that would come out of it. On my first NCC camp, I tried a lot of new things and every night I would ache all over but feel intensely successful as a member of UBE. In the early morning jogs and yoga, I came to realize two things about me. I am not a morning person and Yoga made me sleeps. And just like that, I was able to draw observations about myself after every lab session. Even from the ones I think I would suck at the most. Rule #5 - When you’re unsure about it, that’s the UBE sixth sense telling you that you have to do it.

I have been following these rules for a long time now. I have surprised myself time and again with the things I set out to do. Solo travel. Tattoos. Gardening. Oh what the hell, even babysitting. And I think the only mistake one can make as a member of UBE is fearing the outcome. That gives birth to normalcy and monotony. The kind that makes you pick the same things from a menu, the same colors from the clothes aisle. Choose a heavier ball when you go bowling, take a different route to work, eat Doritos with chopsticks. Sometimes I’ve taken a chance on people too; meeting them once just to see how it goes. I love getting to know them and experimenting in understanding what I feel for them. Even if this goes against Rule#1, I know I wouldn’t harm them no matter what. I know to step back from there. One can argue that repetition of certain tasks and decisions forms tastes, styles, and shapes one’s personality. And I agree. Yes, comfort in the familiar is a safe thing, but then again as Tove Lo puts it, ‘If you had any flavor in the world, would you still choose vanilla?’

#nanowrimo #nano 2018 #nano writing #lifestruggles #life story #life stories #writedaily #loveforwriting #writing #wrimo #day19 #anecdote #experimental #experimentation

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oneindiannerd-blog · 6 years ago

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Random Thoughts #1

A few days ago, I was watching this show called ‘Modern Family’ (it is an awesome show that always makes me smile so check it out). In short, it deals with three different types of family – step, nuclear and gay parents raising their kids in this era while learning all about family and parenting. There is this same-sex couple who adopt a girl and do a decent job raising her. Coming back to the point, as I was watching this, my grandma whose is nearly 70 watched it along with me. To understand this incident, I should give you some insight of my family background. I come from a very orthodox Muslim family who have lived their whole lives in a small village which is barely visible in the state map of Tamil Nadu. Heck, I am the first girl to earn a degree, let alone an engineering degree in my family. So now you can understand that the whole concept of “homosexuality” is both new and frowned upon. My grandma pointed to Cam and Mitch (the gay parents) and asked why they were raising an Asian girl by themselves. In a sense, she asked where the women were. I was contemplating whether to explain the whole queer situation to her as it is a sin in our religion. Not wanting to distress her traditional and aged brain, I told her that they were best friends who wanted a family but couldn’t get the right girl. Hence, they decided to live together in the same house and adopt an orphan while taking care of each other. A family of their own. Guess what my grandma said, “Sounds a lot like marriage”. Then it hit me, the concept of gays and lesbians maybe new and unusual to us but love, care and wanting a family, these things existed long before humanity could speak (even animals show these emotions). So instead of looking at this situation as two men/women unnaturally wanting to stay together forever, if we look at it as two people being in love, caring for each other and wanting to share this with an offspring, the world would be a better place.

P.S After hearing her say what she said, I explained the whole deal to my grandma. She started chanting invocations to remove the devil out of my mind and cleanse my thoughts. Looks like my family still needs some time to understand this.

How Hollywood deals with this topic

Brokeback mountain, call me by your name, Holding the man, Moonlight, God’s own country, Love Simon, Weekend etc.

Also, shows like Glee, Modern family (of course), Game of Thrones, Shadowhunters, Sense8, Black mirror, The Handmaid’s tale, Orange is the new black, 13 reasons why, Riverdale etc.

Celebrities like Ellen Degeneres, Elton John, Neil Patrick Harris etc advocate LGBT.

How Kollywood deals with this

Taramani, Aruvi and that all I know of. We people don’t even acknowledge it then how can we get people to come to peace with this.

#lgbtpride #modernfamily #tv series #random thoughts #grandmother #indian

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pillowslemonandtea · 7 years ago

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Breastfeeding - When the Most Natural Feeding Becomes Challenging

Breastfeeding an infant is the most regular method for encouraging. As much as we might want to trust that the recipe drain is near breastmilk and is adequate, the very certainty that people have survived such a large number of thousand years even before equation was discovered shows how powerful bosom nourishing has been. On the off chance that you are one of the fortunate moms for whom breastfeeding is going extraordinary, at that point you are honored. Be that as it may, there is another populace of moms who battle to bolster their children. Some say the child isn't locking appropriately however with some direction from breastfeeding counselors (in the western world) and grandmas/experienced moms (for the most part in creating world) and after some time, one can prevail with regards to making the hooking works. There is another class of moms who need to bosom sustain yet battle as they don't make enough drain. Each book or site you open will disclose to you that your body will make enough drain for your child and that on request sustaining enables your body to see what amount is required. Believe me, it isn't everybody's body that is really equipped for creating enough drain, take off alone overabundance to pump and store. I am not going to expound best dry fruits online website in india on the advantages of breastfeeding as there is a great deal of writing on it yet I figured it will help a few in the event that I could share my experience and furthermore show some combined data on what you could possibly do to build drain creation.

It is exceptionally excruciating to see your infant cry in spite of bolstering for like 60 minutes. Particularly for new moms, it isn't quite recently the physical torment that one needs to experience while starting to bosom nourish, it is likewise the misery of not satisfying the eager child. One would wish whatever they could do was make enough drain so the child is full and naps off. I have experienced that agony and can absolutely understand. We needed to begin our little one on equation nourish notwithstanding bosom bolstering ideal from the very beginning as he was embittered and truly required the sustenance to flush out his framework. When we brought him home, we comprehended in two or three days that I was simply not making enough and in the months to come I needed to adapt to the way that he would be given jugs too. I was extremely resolved to make bosom nourishing work for us and had not pondered 'consider the possibility that it was not going admirably. We had not purchased a pump or even jug but rather chose to do as such a day after we brought him home. With restricted time to investigate best alternatives, we went for a manual Philips pump which was alright to begin with. I at that point took prompt from bosom encouraging counsels and not long after that was on a data gathering binge so I could enhance drain generation. Amid this stage, I discovered that in spite of the fact that you may not know, ladies who have some kind of bosom surgery, similar to expansion or decrease or even fibroids evacuated (for medicinal reasons), can possibly have issues with supply. A term that you might need to get comfortable with is galactagogue. These are substances that assistance enhance lactation in people and creatures. In view of my experience and data I assembled, I have assembled the accompanying data that may help you...

1. The soreness experienced in the initial couple of days of encouraging joined with an always hungry infant can be very trying. Do whatever it takes not to be put off by it. One could utilize what are call areola shields to facilitate the soreness. These are typically made of silicone and help great hooking as well. It is additionally helpful for ladies with little or upset areolas. When you and your child get a hang of breastfeeding, quit utilizing the areola shield. You have to keep the encouraging going with a specific end goal to expand drain generation. Keep in mind it more often than not is only 24 hours of not bolstering that stops drain creation

2. Pump as regularly as would be prudent. As I said before, the body gains from the infant how much drain is required. Attempt to pump when you get a possibility. I say so in light of the fact that, there could be times when you need to supplement the bolster by giving a jug to your infant. In such cases, pump to discharge your bosom so your body does not think child needs lesser drain. After the initial couple of weeks, the infant's expands the interim between encourages, pump between sustains also. I was informed that pumping in the vicinity of 2am and 4 am is a smart thought as the lactation inciting hormone is at its crest as of now.

3. Attempt to get a clinic review pump. Truly it is costly and I know some don't care for it. Notwithstanding, it really has choices of expanding or diminishing suckling simply like how an infant does. In the event that you can't get one, its alright, utilize a mechanical pump.

4. Attempt to exhaust the two bosoms at each sustain.

5. Drink no less than two liters of water a day, recall a significant part of the breastmilk is simply water and unless you are hydrated you won't make enough

6. Here are a few galactagogues that I utilized and some that I picked not to use as they were different to me:

a. Fenugreek seeds (called methi in hindi and 'vendhayam' in tamil) - I had no clue these would build drain creation and was enchanted to discover that. It is a significant regular fixing in Indian cooking so I didn't need to stress over taking something new while bosom nourishing. No point burning through cash on the cases accessible as supplements in shops, rather, I had teaspoon of the seeds three times each day

b. Grains and vegetables - oats and grain particularly are said to enable increment to drain generation. I would typically have oats porridge (with drain included) in the morning and furthermore bubble grain in water until done and drink the water atleast one glass a day. Mung dal gruel is additionally said to offer assistance. Weight cook mung dal, include drain and jaggery, convey to bubble and drink

c. Almonds, cashews and macadamia nuts are said to help drain creation

d. Garlic - consume some garlic cloves in the fire or sear pulverized garlic cloves in ghee. Add this to warm drain and devour atleast twice per day. They say garlic could thin your blood so don't use with hostile to coagulants.

e. Turmeric has mitigating properties and forestalls bosom contamination which could put some off from bosom encouraging. In the event that you have an Indian eating routine, odds are you are now getting enough of this superb zest, if not about half teaspoon daily is said to be fitting

f. Green papaya is said to be taken as galactagogue crosswise over Asia. I didn't get an opportunity to attempt this myself

g. Spirulina, nourishing yeast and brewer's yeast, soda are some others suggested by a few however I didn't get the opportunity to attempt these

h. Flavors like dill, caraway, fennel seeds are likewise said to help drain creation. I used to bite on some fennel seeds ordinary.

I. Green verdant vegetables, carrots, beets and yam are additionally said to be powerful. Likewise, dudhi (a.k.a sorakai in tamil or lauki in hindi) is said to be successful in expanding milk generation. Having a lot of leafy foods will give you the vitality and nourishment to make drain.

j. Stinging bramble (additionally called 'kuppameni' in tamil) is another herb I would state that individuals normally suggest. I purchased dried bother and used to have it as a tea. Simply put a stacked spoonful in a glass and include bubbling water, cover with top and enable it to soak for five minutes, drink. It is additionally rich in press and an extraordinary herb regardless of the possibility that not lactating

k. Virtuous berry, borage leaf, comfrey leaf, red raspberry leaf, goat's regret, jumps, horse feed are a few herbs that I didn't exactly use as I had never had them. The general suggestion is that while pregnant or lactating, endeavor to stay away from new fixings as you may not know how your body will respond. Be that as it may, I trust these herbs are more typical in Europe and there are various ladies who appear to report accomplishment with these on the web.

l. Home grown teas - there are various readymade arrangements that are accessible in the market. These are typically tea sacks containing various herbs ordinarily got down on about the name. I utilized a tea by Yogi and it was intended to expand bosom drain generation. It contained favored thorn notwithstanding bramble. When all is said in done they say that the convergence of herbs is little in teas for them to cause any reactions, yet it is up to the person. I wanted to be sheltered than too bad

m. In ayurveda, shatavari and ashwagandha are two herbs recommended for bosom bolstering notwithstanding some different fixings like almonds and so on. I had a case called Lactare, accessible from drug stores in India, one container daily. Specialists in Indian recommend that it is best if began not long after birth however I just began taking it later. Shatavari is by all accounts accessible as a supplement in wellbeing sustenance shops as well. I had an opportunity to have shatavari, accessible in powder frame from ayurvedic shops and even online from the day my second child was conceived and I have seen it to be exceptionally viable. I think taking the herb in powder frame was more viable than the case.

n. I additionally used to take what was called Mother's Horlicks, uniquely arranged for moms to be and lactating moms. Reason I took it was on the grounds that it has malted grain notwithstanding invigorated vitamins and malted grain likewise, I read, helps drain creation.

o. Great quality fat, for example, margarine and ghee are likewise said to be essential for lactating moms. Some suggest coconut oil and coconut drain.

7. Protein rich eating routine is vital to make drain. Increment amount of eggs, meat in the event that you eat them, vegetables, beans and heartbeats. Have a considerable measure of complex sugar like entire grains as opposed to straightforward starches. The previous incorporate dark colored rice, entire wheat and so on. Having a very much adjusted eating regimen is vital whenever, particularly while lactating

8. Getting some rest - in the event that you are sufficiently fortunate to get some assistance, attempt to take it so you can get some rest. One needs to grapple with the way that a few encourages will be bottle sustain and you could have your accomplice or grandparents give the container while you get some rest. A very much fed and rested mother delivers more drain

I have endeavored to list whatever number alternatives as could reasonably be expected. You may have seen that I didn't attempt only one yet a considerable lot of these in parallel. I was additionally given a remedy for do

#best dry fruits online website in india

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studylifeusa · 7 years ago

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Molding Myself from Gunda into Ravi

Has anyone ever tried to diet? I am sure most of you might have tried at least once in your life. I am no different: I tried dieting not once but repetitively and I still do today! Yes, I am going to talk about my transformation and the issues I encountered before and during my diet and a little about my accomplishments. I had several reasons for succeeding in my diet, but would you believe me if I said that one of them was my academic major change from Civil Engineering to International Business? It had an important impact on my diet and my transformation.

When I was a kid I always dreamed big and I still do. I would say to my parents that I am going build them a Sri Lankan style house in France and I will buy my father a Mercedes G Wagon AMG (yes I am very accurate with my dreams). But being an engineering student was not giving me the hopes to accomplish these dreams. When I was an engineering student, one day as I was sitting in class, I looked around the classroom at my classmates and wondered why I didn’t share that passion and hope that someday I would be a great engineer. Since that moment, I started to feel the need to be passionate about what I am studying because that is eventually going to be my future.

I always thought of me as a construction manager or someone that deals with money, scheduling, organizing, directing etc. … something that has to do with business. Majoring in international business with a minor in civil engineering was the way to go. I chose international business to understand the basics of business and international so I could utilize the three languages and cultures (English, French and Tamil) that I am exposed to almost every day. How? Well, even though I live in the U.S. I switch to my Sri Lankan self when I meet with my uncle or talk on the phone with my grandmother and finally to my French self when I connect with my high school friends from France or watch French news.

You may be wondering why I chose civil engineering in the first place? Well, I wanted to make my father and my grandmother happy. I wanted to continue on my grand-father and my father’s path of being a building contractor and a draftsman in Sri Lanka. I know this sounds cheesy, but after all the trouble my family went through as immigrants and after all the trouble they went through raising me without lacking anything, I wanted to give them something back and I thought that becoming an engineer would be my way of paying them back. On a side note: Words are not enough to describe how terrified I am to tell my father that I have switched majors! But let’s save that for another blog and let me tell you more about my diet and what it has to do with my major change.

While knowing the basics of business, being trilingual, and growing up in a multicultural environment is all great but I was missing some very important qualities to be a business man, such as self-confidence, perseverance and discipline. I saw all three qualities in my father. Despite being an immigrant from Sri Lanka, uneducated and not speaking French fluently, he is the greatest businessman I know. Growing up I remember seeing my father speaking confidently with his broken French, trying to make deals with a wholesaler company called Tibsy to grow his own little business in Villiers Le Bel, a very small city in the Paris suburbs. Sometimes he would fail, but that did not stop him from moving on and making other deals.

My father is always busy in his work, but he enjoys spending time with family whenever he can, no matter what time it is. I know that Friday and Saturday nights are the times he loves the most because since he is the oldest of the family, my aunts, uncles and their kids would come to our house and we would all have dinner together and discuss about our week until late at night. My father would have fun and stay up until everyone left, and then he would go to his little office room and finish up his work. That made me realize how disciplined he was with his work.

Everyone has their reasons for lacking self-confidence and for me it was because of the way I looked and felt about myself. Since I could remember, my family, friends and people in general used to call me “Gundu Ravi” or “Gunda” in Tamil, which literally means “fat Ravi or fatty.” That nickname became my identity, and I did not pay much attention to it until the beginning of my teenage life. Once I started to go to high school I was getting angry and frustrated because of people calling me that, especially in front of girls (let’s be honest), and my insecurities began then. So, I started my diet adventure way back then to get rid of that feeling. Needless to say, I failed every time for almost 12 years. In addition, five years ago when I came to the United States, just being away from my family and friends turned me into a stress eater so I became obese and was over a 100 lbs. overweight. The “Super Diet,” as I liked to call it, started on March 6, 2017 and my goal was to lose a 100 lbs. in one year.

Gundu Ravi

After trying so many diet strategies such as the running-every-day, doing core exercises, eating less, fasting for a day, trying different kinds of detox etc. … and following some of the most famous ones like Paleo or Dukan, NOTHING WORKED!!! The worst of it all is people's advice on how to diet! I hated it so much when people who have never tried dieting in their life would approach me and tell me how to diet. Sometimes those people would completely be random! Like that one time I went to Canada to visit my sister, my uncle asked me to deliver a package to his friend that I had never met before. So the friend invited me in so I could have some tea. The minute I sat on his couch he had the audacity to tell me that I needed to go on a diet because while I seemed very young, my age didn’t match my face! When he said that I just left the place without a word. Although I was picturing myself banging his head against the wall!

Anyway, after failing at all of the diets I have tried, there was only one thing left to do: create my own diet, inspired by everything I'd tried. My own diet came down to a simple one: eating as few carbs as possible and working out twice a day, every day. I said it was a simple diet, but believe me, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Every time I started, I would be super motivated for a week and then fail, start up again for 2 weeks and fail once more. By failing I mean that I would go back to my bad eating habits and not workout. Finally, I decided to be persistent, disciplined and stick with “the super diet” for exactly one month and I succeeded. The results I got were so rewarding that I kept going for a year and eventually dieting became an addiction which then transformed into a lifestyle.

My routine was quite simple: I would wake up around 5am, stretch a little while making coffee, then grab my keys and I’d be off to the gym. At the gym, I would start by warming up using the rowing machine for 10 minutes and then I would do a full body workout using free weights for about an hour and 15 minutes. In the evening after class, work and studying, I would go back to the gym around 8.30pm and do cardio exercises for an hour and a half like jumping rope, rowing machine, and the elliptical.

My diet was simple as well: I would cook and not eat out. In the morning, I’d eat a cup of oatmeal with chopped bananas and honey, in the afternoon it could be buffalo chicken salad with blue cheese and I would avoid eating croutons, bread, anything with a high amount of carbohydrate for a very small portion of food. At night, I would eat chicken with broccoli that I let simmer in a very spicy curry sauce that I make with the spices my grandma sends me from France. I know that spicy food accelerates your metabolism. So, I eat spicy at night because I read somewhere that your metabolism is most effective at night, I don’t even know if that’s true. Hey, I am not a professional but I know my body and what seems to work for it.

As a result, I went from being obese, weighing 280 lbs. in March 2017, to 180 lbs. in December 2017. I am currently weighing 190 lbs. because of the end-of-year celebrations and my trips to Japan and Canada, but I am not afraid of it because I have control over my body.

This transformation completely changed me as a person. The more I was disciplined in my workout the more disciplined I became in everything else I do like studying. I have way more self-confidence in me! I switched my major when I had only two semesters left to complete my civil engineering degree. But I still have the fear of telling my father about the major change. Ha ha! Other than that, when I went to visit my sister in Canada earlier this year, she told me, “You physically changed, but you are also more mature and you don’t get angry like you used to before.” Yes, my sister and I have a love-and-hate relationship but that too if for another future blog. Today, I am proud to say that I respect my health and that I have control over my body.

Finally, I just want to say that I believe any kind of success is not about motivation, it’s about discipline and hard work. I hope this blog will inspire you to accomplish something that you’ve always dreamed of.

At the gym and before leaving for Japan

Thanks for reading!

Ravi is an international student studying in the USA. He earned his associate of science transfer degree at Truckee Meadows Community College and transferred to the University of Nevada, Reno where he is studying international business.

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easyfoodnetwork · 5 years ago

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How to make curd at home, Homemade curd recipe

How to make curd at home, perfect set homemade curd/ thayir every time. Detailed post with tips, tricks, and FAQs.

From the time I started to cook, for almost 16 years, I make my own curd at home. Being South Indian Tamil, we have mor sadam to end our meal. Store bought curd is not affordable and it is very common to make curd everyday at home in our households. Both mom, MIL make fresh curd everyday. Many of us have the habit of eating curd with breakfast or dinner too with idli, dosa or upma too. My grandma, mom, FIL loves butter milk with the idli dosa/ upma. We add little salt to it and use it along eating idli dosa.

Though everyday curd is set in out homes, curd is kind of luxury. We always use buttermilk (mor) than the curd as such in earlier days. Now a days though consumption of curd has increase, still for lunch we include only mor. Also elders at home say its healthier to use mor than thayir. Mor/ butter milk is said to be body coolant than thayir.

I have replied in detail to many of my reader friends on making curd. Especially people from US, Singapore often ask me the homemade Indian style curd making process. And once they succeed and mail me back sharing their excitement, I really feel happy and content that I could help. I have always thought to make a post on this but somehow it doesn’t happens. So finally time has come to share, to help beginners and particularly this can be useful at this period of time. It can save you bucks, save you trips outside. Also no need to rely on the supply.

If you want to learn and perfect the process, please read in detail and patiently.

Some tips I have learnt:

UHT milk/ curd from tetra pack milk sets thicker comparatively to fresh milk.

Experiment with different brands of both milk and curd (starter) to find which works best for your region, climate conditions (USA, Singapore…) and stick to it.

If you have local quality brands that supply around fresh curd, use it as it has more live cultures.

I set my curd in day time than night as the hot environment helps to set the curd.

In cold days/ rainy days, I keep the container around hot areas like next to stove while cooking, by the side of appliances where the surrounding is warmer – example by the side of refrigerator or over it.

If you have oven and need warm environment, put inside the oven and leave the oven light on, which will provide necessary temperature.

Don’t have oven and have difficulties for similar environment? I keep inside cooker (the warm cooker – not under fire) as soon as I take out cooked rice from cooker and keep it closed. This fastens the process.

Boil milk well, bring to the temperature to warm, instead of just heating the milk upto warm. It makes a whole lot of difference in thick texture.

Here are some FAQs for making curd:

How I make sure curd is set every time perfectly, properly

I add a red chilli or green chilli with stalk intact and mix along the starter curd. This double ensures my curd set perfect each and every time.

My curd is not set and it looks just like milk when I open after many hours. Why?

Your milk was probably too hot. It kills the bacteria that helps the curd to set.

Why my curd looks/ is slimy?

No one likes to consume slimy curd. You might be letting the milk cool down too much. Temperature is too low for setting.

What is the perfect optimum temperature to set curd?

You should be able to touch the milk with bare hand. Roughly 30- 40 deg C will be perfect.

Is there any particular type of vessel to set curd?

Though it is okay to use any type of vessel, I prefer to use vessels with small mouth to help retain heat and doesn’t cool fast like broader vessels. I use a traditional thayir sombu kept alone for this purpose only. Jars with lids like mason jars, Clay pots, soap stones should work great too. My relative sets yogurt in hot pack too.

Can I pour the milk over and over again on top of existing curd, in the same pot?

It sets very perfect and quick when you do so, but avoid doing it as it’s said to be Not good for health.

Which milk and curd I am using in Singapore?

I use Amul blue tetra pack and either use milky mist curd from previous setting as starter.

Let’s make Indian style Homemade curd:

Time needed: 6 hours.

How to make Indian style homemade curd:

Boiling milk

Start heating 1 litre milk in a milk pan. It should be large enough to hold the overflowing milk.

Keep stirring

Keep stirring occasionally in the beginning. As you see steam rising along the spoon you stir, be careful, your milk is about to boil. Be careful at this stage as it may overflow.

Cool down

Once it boils – becomes frothy, raises too. Switch off the stove. Cover with a lid. set aside for cooling.

Right temperature

You should be able to touch the milk with bare hands, if it is warm enough to touch, this is the correct temperature.

Transfer to curd setting vessel

Transfer to the vessel you are going to set curd in. Preferably which could retain the temperature for a while.

Mixing starter curd

Next, mix about 2 tbsp of well beaten curd to the milk and stir well.

Stir well

With a spoon, give a good mix making sure it gets mixed well.

Keep covered for setting

Leave it in a warm place for setting.

Set curd

After about 6 hours, the curd will be completely set. Depending on the surrounding temperature, it starts getting set, thicken as time passes.

Refrigerate

Once set, keep the set curd in refrigerator. Gets more firmer as you refrigerate. Take only required amount when needed and never leave it outside to prevent turning too sour.

How to make butter milk from homemade curd?

Take 1/2 cup curd a tall vessel.Using a balloon whisk, beat smoothly and add 1 & 1/2 cups water and whisk again to make it smooth.

Buttermilk – mor

Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set.

Troubleshooting tips

Troubleshooting

What to do with slimy curd? Use it in mor kuzhambu or make neer mor with lots of water.

How to avoid slimy curd?

Do not use a starter which is slimy. The starter curd is what the home set curd gets it’s taste, texture from. So clean well the vessels, never use the same slimy curd as starter again.

It happens in certain environment, it can happen without our control because of something to do with the weather or surroundings- this is my understanding. So if no matter what, you can get slimy curd even though you were able to get proper set curd earlier, just skip making curd for some period of time and use store bought and start with fresh starter curd to set homemade curd.

If you check the curd, if it is not starting to set, mix once again and keep over hotter place to set. Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set.

I love natural flavour of curd and not the overpowering milky smelling curd of some brands. Milky mist works best for starter and I buy Nestle if buying, as it is close to homemade curd.

Why I set 1 liter curd and not just small portions?

I keep forgetting setting curd in everyday basis, so I prefer setting as 1 litre and use it for a week. You can even divide and store in different containers if you want.

I hope I shared everything I know, if I remember anything important for this post, I will sure update. Leave comments if you have any suggestions, tips that work for you, which brand milk works best for you etc. This can help others too.

The post How to make curd at home, Homemade curd recipe appeared first on Raks Kitchen.

from Rak's Kitchen https://ift.tt/2RuCE79 https://ift.tt/3ebhepq

How to make curd at home, perfect set homemade curd/ thayir every time. Detailed post with tips, tricks, and FAQs.

If you want to learn and perfect the process, please read in detail and patiently.

Some tips I have learnt:

UHT milk/ curd from tetra pack milk sets thicker comparatively to fresh milk.

Experiment with different brands of both milk and curd (starter) to find which works best for your region, climate conditions (USA, Singapore…) and stick to it.

If you have local quality brands that supply around fresh curd, use it as it has more live cultures.

I set my curd in day time than night as the hot environment helps to set the curd.

If you have oven and need warm environment, put inside the oven and leave the oven light on, which will provide necessary temperature.

Boil milk well, bring to the temperature to warm, instead of just heating the milk upto warm. It makes a whole lot of difference in thick texture.

Here are some FAQs for making curd:

How I make sure curd is set every time perfectly, properly

I add a red chilli or green chilli with stalk intact and mix along the starter curd. This double ensures my curd set perfect each and every time.

My curd is not set and it looks just like milk when I open after many hours. Why?

Your milk was probably too hot. It kills the bacteria that helps the curd to set.

Why my curd looks/ is slimy?

No one likes to consume slimy curd. You might be letting the milk cool down too much. Temperature is too low for setting.

What is the perfect optimum temperature to set curd?

You should be able to touch the milk with bare hand. Roughly 30- 40 deg C will be perfect.

Is there any particular type of vessel to set curd?

Can I pour the milk over and over again on top of existing curd, in the same pot?

It sets very perfect and quick when you do so, but avoid doing it as it’s said to be Not good for health.

Which milk and curd I am using in Singapore?

I use Amul blue tetra pack and either use milky mist curd from previous setting as starter.

Let’s make Indian style Homemade curd:

Time needed: 6 hours.

How to make Indian style homemade curd:

Boiling milk

Start heating 1 litre milk in a milk pan. It should be large enough to hold the overflowing milk.

Keep stirring

Keep stirring occasionally in the beginning. As you see steam rising along the spoon you stir, be careful, your milk is about to boil. Be careful at this stage as it may overflow.

Cool down

Once it boils – becomes frothy, raises too. Switch off the stove. Cover with a lid. set aside for cooling.

Right temperature

You should be able to touch the milk with bare hands, if it is warm enough to touch, this is the correct temperature.

Transfer to curd setting vessel

Transfer to the vessel you are going to set curd in. Preferably which could retain the temperature for a while.

Mixing starter curd

Next, mix about 2 tbsp of well beaten curd to the milk and stir well.

Stir well

With a spoon, give a good mix making sure it gets mixed well.

Keep covered for setting

Leave it in a warm place for setting.

Set curd

After about 6 hours, the curd will be completely set. Depending on the surrounding temperature, it starts getting set, thicken as time passes.

Refrigerate

Once set, keep the set curd in refrigerator. Gets more firmer as you refrigerate. Take only required amount when needed and never leave it outside to prevent turning too sour.

How to make butter milk from homemade curd?

Take 1/2 cup curd a tall vessel.Using a balloon whisk, beat smoothly and add 1 & 1/2 cups water and whisk again to make it smooth.

Buttermilk – mor

Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set.

Troubleshooting tips

Troubleshooting

What to do with slimy curd? Use it in mor kuzhambu or make neer mor with lots of water.

How to avoid slimy curd?

Do not use a starter which is slimy. The starter curd is what the home set curd gets it’s taste, texture from. So clean well the vessels, never use the same slimy curd as starter again.

If you check the curd, if it is not starting to set, mix once again and keep over hotter place to set. Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set.

I love natural flavour of curd and not the overpowering milky smelling curd of some brands. Milky mist works best for starter and I buy Nestle if buying, as it is close to homemade curd.

Why I set 1 liter curd and not just small portions?

I keep forgetting setting curd in everyday basis, so I prefer setting as 1 litre and use it for a week. You can even divide and store in different containers if you want.

The post How to make curd at home, Homemade curd recipe appeared first on Raks Kitchen.

from Rak's Kitchen https://ift.tt/2RuCE79 via Blogger https://ift.tt/3aZlVRa

#Blogger #Raks Kitchen

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mindmischiefrp · 5 years ago

Photo

welcome to the yosul school for witches and wizards

khan vikram 12.13.1997 (22) intern at hanuel ind. (cheong ryeong) maeobsa born

same shit/different day/you already know how it goes: left behind by a teenage couple and the girl who was pregnant drops out of school, so you’re a hindrance to her once lived “big dreams” of going to MIT. or alternatively, you were the son of a wench and a married banker. finally. you run out of stories to make up and tell in a cramped home for miserable and abandoned children. you have plenty of days to wonder where you’ll land

brainwashing begins with an old hag telling you to be grateful at this 99th chance of life. sometimes you believe it, most times you don’t

the pizza-faced girl who never goes to sleep during nap time is fucking obsessed with british empires and british people, things and treats. brags about her british paternal grandma whose last name was rockefeller, this and that, some words of magic and wizardry hitting the ceiling so you pay no attention to mind. but maybe you will visit london someday (someday, when you make it big doing something, of course)

this is a happy moment. in the arms of an infertile woman and the man with a scruffy mustache is doing all the paperwork and the soundtrack this time is a clock ticking, some flies sitting atop of the file cabinet and pens scrawling across paper, mouths running on legal matters and childcare and what have you. you’re 10, or 11, thinking about your next meal, not your name going from medikonda to khan

you know they’re about something because you’ve got a room all to yourself in the middle of the uk, the wildest thing ever since mtv

things get weird but you’re in it for the ride. you are thrust into the realm of magic, the pizza-faced girl lives as a faint memory in the back of your head. very quickly, you learn of this family: something about having zero non-magic blood and their involvements are long and wide. the late eighties, “i was born in the wrong generation” type dumb ass, michael jackson and wham and a small country in east asia birthed haneul industries. there’s a photograph framed in your dad’s office. an arm wrapped around his shoulders with some stumpy fellow in an ugly outfit paired with loafers: mister park

you hate change. you hate change, you hate change, you hate change, you hate constant change. you went from an ancient city in tamil nadu to the land of stereotyped tea and black pudding, only to go back to asia because mister park won’t shut his paper-cut lips up about yosul

you’ve always been hesitant to ask about your existence in this lonely yet brilliant family, but you’ve come to terms with understanding that there must be a placeholder. anybody, somebody, a child, not to be the heir of anything, no, but, y’know, you’re the muggle that’s supposed to piece everything together. it also makes mom and dad look good, charitable (“the khan family adopted a muggle boy into their family!” yeah, an adopted investment you were)

what do you mean you can’t switch houses? you’re stuck in cheong ryeong for life, lumped in with the kids who have an upper hand at scheming and you’re sitting there with a lick of korean known, “so, like, am i not brave enough?” a baek ho hopeful you’d like to think of yourself

same shit/different day/you already know how it goes: but look at what a mess you’ve made

#mm:accepted #cheong ryeong #seventh year #aramish mangi

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straussdehn00-blog · 6 years ago

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Easter Church Services Around Houston

Many people don't think about the danger of losing weight quick. If someone lose weight quick without doing it the heathy and proper way their body will eventually go under a violent change which will produce extremely unhealthy effects on their body and mind. Nayantara - This south Indian actress is credited with starting the trend of bikini-acts in Telugu and Tamil cinema with her movie Billa. In fact she shot to fame after this movie. Her super hit flicks include Boss, Vallavan and Ghajini. She was caught in controversy when some photographs of Nayantara kissing her costar Simbu were made public.

https://catdang.info/tin-tuc/chim-lon/ " src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OgEWb0FWjNI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

Relationships. Love is the medicine for the sickness of mankind. You can live if you have love. A relationship touches the very center of what it means to be human, but when you choose to open yourself up, you risk being hurt. Accept the people as they are & respect the needs of the individual in your relationship. It gives you stability, strength, value, courage & with a rich bonded relationship people think, do & act better. Jesus knew that Thomas would need to see the concrete proof of his death and resurrection, just like we need to see it by reading all of the four major Gospels-Gospels that were written by reliable, independent eyewitnesses. That's why he reappeared at a time and in a place where ALL of the disciples were gathered-INCLUDING THOMAS! When Thomas had an opportunity to see the evidence, he did not need it. For him, Jesus was alive, and that's all that mattered. People have differing needs and find various routes to faith, and seeing Jesus in the flesh was Thomas's route to faith. A magnetic repulsion and attraction between two opposites, happens all the time between good and evil. We see it all the time, in every biblical text. In every religious text there is a diverse draw between good and evil. You can spend your life in damnation if you are evil and you can spend your life in paradise if you are truly good. But what cause this divide? Was it the wickedness of the daily world? Or was it the lack of understanding the forces of creation and the universe? We are pulled on a daily basis to make good and bad decisions, some good decisions have bad consequences some bad decisions have good consequences and vice-versa. But what pulls us to these decisions and what helps us decide? One of the greatest legacies of caring for my grandparents was the deepening of spiritual faith. As a young child, I snuggled up against my granddad while he read his Bible and held my grandma's hand on the way to Bible class. I sang church songs with them and climbed over both of them during worship services. As I got older, I observed the hospitality of my grandparents and their commitment to caring for other people, but nothing impacted me like helping care for my grandparents in their last years. If your answer to these questions is "No" then you have forgotten your relationship to God and you are living in sin. Before I go on, let me stop and say that I am just like you. Those who meet me may say that my relationships are not perfect, that I struggle with finances and my health could be better. But I now see where I need to be and God has led me to help others see that same place in their lives. By helping each other, we help ourselves as well. Elvis was introduced to music through his church and frequently sang in the gospel choir. His love for music increased when he was bought a guitar as a birthday gift. He had originally asked for a rifle, but his parents could only afford a guitar. Soon after this, he was often seen with his guitar and after having lessons from his uncle and this cemented his passion for music.

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commoditygoods · 7 years ago

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Breastfeeding - When the Most Natural Feeding Becomes Challenging

Breastfeeding an infant is the most regular method for encouraging. As much as we might want to trust that the recipe drain is near breastmilk and is adequate, the very certainty that people have survived such a large number of thousand years even before equation was discovered shows how powerful bosom nourishing has been. On the off chance that you are one of the fortunate moms for whom breastfeeding is going extraordinary, at that point you are honored. Be that as it may, there is another populace of moms who battle to bolster their children. Some say the child isn't locking appropriately however with some direction from breastfeeding counselors (in the western world) and grandmas/experienced moms (for the most part in creating world) and after some time, one can prevail with regards to making the hooking works. There is another class of moms who need to bosom sustain yet battle as they don't make enough drain. Each book or site you open will disclose to you that your body will make enough drain for your child and that on request sustaining enables your body to see what amount is required. Believe me, it isn't everybody's body that is really equipped for creating enough drain, take off alone overabundance to pump and store. I am not going to expound best dry fruits online good website in india on the advantages of breastfeeding as there is a great deal of writing on it yet I figured it will help a few in the event that I could share my experience and furthermore show some combined data on what you could possibly do to build drain creation.

4. Attempt to exhaust the two bosoms at each sustain.

5. Drink no less than two liters of water a day, recall a significant part of the breastmilk is simply water and unless you are hydrated you won't make enough

6. Here are a few galactagogues that I utilized and some that I picked not to use as they were different to me:

c. Almonds, cashews and macadamia nuts are said to help drain creation

f. Green papaya is said to be taken as galactagogue crosswise over Asia. I didn't get an opportunity to attempt this myself

g. Spirulina, nourishing yeast and brewer's yeast, soda are some others suggested by a few however I didn't get the opportunity to attempt these

h. Flavors like dill, caraway, fennel seeds are likewise said to help drain creation. I used to bite on some fennel seeds ordinary.

o. Great quality fat, for example, margarine and ghee are likewise said to be essential for lactating moms. Some suggest coconut oil and coconut drain.

#best dry fruits online good website in india

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atticusblog2016-blog · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on Atticusblog

New Post has been published on https://atticusblog.com/even-the-worlds-largest-internet-companies-get-phished/

Even the World's Largest Internet Companies Get Phished

If you’ve ever been duped by means of a phishing rip-off, you can sense a touch much less silly about it today, because you’ve been joined in that sad membership by way of Google and Fb.

Phishing assaults, wherein scammers pose as a relied on business enterprise or person via email and trick humans into—for instance—clicking a link, signing into a faux internet site, or even delivering their bank details, are a huge problem. And it really works relatively often, specifically on older humans (and senior contributors of Hillary Clinton’s campaign workforce). However, it appears even the world’s biggest net groups—agencies which have shaped the net itself—aren’t immune from such assaults.

A few weeks in the past, the Justice Branch introduced that it had arrested a Lithuanian guy in connection with a phishing attack that scammed unnamed US tech businesses out of a complete of $a hundred million. Now, an investigation by Fortune has found out that the ones two corporations are Facebook and Google.

The scam became pretty state-of-the-art. Among 2013 and 2015, Evaldas Rimasauskas allegedly posed as a Taiwanese parts producer named Quanta—which each organization does business with—through his very own organization with the equal name registered in Latvia. He created faux email addresses and invoices for laptop components, convincing the businesses to make transfers totaling $a hundred million, which he then wired to financial institution money owed around the arena. Rimasauskas denies the price.

Each Fb and Google showed that they have been victims of the scam. In an e-mail to Gizmodo, a Facebook spokesperson wrote:

Facebook recovered the majority of the price range quickly after the incident and has been cooperating with regulation enforcement in its research. We’re confident that we have the right controls in place to prevent such assaults inside the destiny. The spokesperson didn’t reply to our query about whether or not the agency had applied any new measures to prevent a comparable incident from occurring once more. In the meantime, a Google spokesperson told Fortune, “We detected this fraud in opposition to our seller management crew and promptly alerted the government. We recouped the budget and we’re pleased this remember is resolved.”

An important twist reported through Fortune? Google and Facebook didn’t disclose this event to shareholders, which might also suggest they ran afoul of rules requiring them to disclose “material occasions.” Fortune’s assets near the organizations “recommended they’d determined the Rimasauskas fraud changed into not material enough to require disclosure of it.” $100 million over years sounds reasonably fabric to us, But what can we know?

whether or not or not these organizations misled their shareholders, one factor is sure: no one, whether it’s your grandma who despatched over her financial institution details to someone from BankofAmercia dot yahoo dot com or one of the richest corporations inside the international, is safe from phishing.

The arena’s Most Stunning Sacred Destinations

In ultra-modern modern international, no matter how a great deal we development and irrespective of how lots advancement we reach, someway we nevertheless can’t triumph over the greatness of our forefathers. This principle additionally applies to homes. no matter what number of excessive upward push skyscrapers we see, we simplest get a super peace of thoughts when we visit go to our traditional legends. Those Lovely nonsecular Destinations are those with a view to make your coronary heart sing and provide you with peace of thoughts even if you’re not a believer. Travel right here the usage of British Airways and your adventure may be awesome (both spiritually and otherwise).

1. The Marble Mountains (Vietnam): This place is a cluster of mountains made of marble and limestone that are located close to the Vietnamese town of Da Nang. These 5 mountains are simply stated to be an illustration of the 5 factors – Kim (metallic), Moc (Wooden), Hoa (Fireplace), Tho (Earth) and Thuy (Water). All the mountains have entrances and tunnels and are effortlessly climbable. Alongside the manner to the top, vacationers get to peer several Buddhist sanctuaries which might be used for praying even nowadays. You furthermore may get to peer the well-known stone sculptures as well as stone cutters who are regarded to create first-rate work.

2. The Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia (Turkey): Those locations are clearly one of the Most popular traveler Locations in Turkey and global representatives of the Turkish lifestyle. The Hagia Sophia changed into the most important cathedral of The world for more than a thousand years. It changed into later converted right into a mosque and now works as a museum. The ceiling is packed with Christian photographs while the partitions are blanketed in Arabic scriptures (an illustration of Islam). Proper on the alternative facet of this building, we discover the Blue Mosque which turned into made as a concept and extension of the architecture of the Hagia Sophia. The primary topic of this mosque is the color blue which can be visible within the tiles, the glass paintings and in some instances the carpets. This building can accommodate 10,000 humans at a single time for prayer.

The biggest Hindu Temples in Tamil Nadu

There are nearly 33,000 temples in Tamil Nadu, and maximum of these are a examine in grandeur, opulence, and size. No surprise the southern kingdom is well-known for its temples and is even known as the land of temples. We give you a peek into The biggest Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu.

Sri Ranganathaswamy Temple, Trichy

This is one among The most important temples in India. It is so massive that it seems like a self-enclosed metropolis. Because the name suggests, is devoted to Ranganatha and has a seventy-three m excessive gopuram (tower), which is one of the tallest temple towers in Asia! The famous Vaishnava temple is built in the Dravidian style of structure.

Thillai Nataraja Temple, Chidambaram

At Thillai Nataraja Temple, Lord Shiva is worshiped as Chidambaram, the enduring Nataraja shape. It’s far one of the five Pancha Bootha Sthalams representing the element Akasha and is one of the foremost temples of Saivites. It belongs to the Kovil classes of Shiva in which the Lord is worshiped in the form of the idol.

Annamalaiyar Temple, Tiruvannamalai

Annamalaiyar Temple, wherein Lord Shiva is represented via the lingam, is situated on the foot of Annamalai hills in Thiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu. It’s miles connected with the five elements, the Pancha Bhoota Stalas, and solely the element of the fireplace.

Ekambareswarar Temple, Kanchipuram

Ekambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram is The most important one within the city of Kanchipuram and one of the 5 Pancha Bootha Sthalams – representing the detail Earth. That is one of the maximum historical temples in India having been in life in the view that as a minimum 600 Advert. It’s miles famous for its tall gopuram or tower, constructed through the Vijayanagar King, Krishnadevaraya. It is stated to be the tallest temple tower in India.

Jambukeswarar Temple, Tiruchirappalli

This temple is one of the 5 essential Shiva Temples of Tamil Nadu and represents the detail of water. This became constructed by way of the Chola dynasty round 1800 years in the past and is decked with inscriptions relationship lower back to the generation. There are five enclosures within the temple. It’s outside wall is enormous and extends to over a mile. It’s far 25 ft high and is greater than toes thick.

Meenakshi Amman Temple, Madurai

The Quality Net Commercial enterprise

There are numerous Internet Host giants at the Internet that provide personal label rebranding to small Business proprietors. This might be the First-rate opportunity to “piggyback” on properly-set up companies in case you are just beginning out in Net advertising and marketing. This gateway for limitless wealth is made possible due to the growing demand for digital advertising in regions that are outside the scope of these large companies.

For you to advantage a share of the market, those corporate Web organizations offer reseller plans to small organizations which take their products and services, rebrand them and promote to Commercial enterprise proprietors at earnings. these products include domain name offerings, Internet website hosting, online storage, Business productivity software program, and gear.

There may be quite an advantage in being a small Commercial enterprise retailer due to the fact one is able to personalize their Commercial enterprise at the local level and meet the needs in their growing market on the arena Huge Net. Allow’s study the definition of virtual advertising and marketing to understand why the demand has grown notably over the past many years.

What is virtual advertising and marketing

Digital advertising includes all functions which might be geared towards selling online Enterprise activities. This includes but isn’t always constrained to services and products in subcategories together with area call registration, Net website hosting, email advertising, Web layout and improvement, software programs, income and advertising, social media advertising and consultation, and all medium through which businesses and individuals promote it and marketplace their products online.

Retail advertising

Retail advertising refers to sports geared toward cease customers of an internet-based totally Business answer inclusive of domain names registration, Net layout services, software apps for Enterprise and personal use, social media management, Net web site hosting and other activities that promote on-line communique.

The Cons of virtual marketing

One could assume that the more clients you have got, is the more income you’re likely to acquire however the truth be instructed, the more the Commercial enterprise turns into more challenged due to competition, need for online bandwidth, Web creativity, area of expertise, and need for customer service due to growth in consumer queries and the want for technical help.

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easyfoodnetwork · 5 years ago

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How to make curd at home, perfect set homemade curd/ thayir every time. Detailed post with tips, tricks, and FAQs. From the time I started to cook, for almost 16 years, I make my own curd at home. Being South Indian Tamil, we have mor sadam to end our meal. Store bought curd is not affordable and it is very common to make curd everyday at home in our households. Both mom, MIL make fresh curd everyday. Many of us have the habit of eating curd with breakfast or dinner too with idli, dosa or upma too. My grandma, mom, FIL loves butter milk with the idli dosa/ upma. We add little salt to it and use it along eating idli dosa. Though everyday curd is set in out homes, curd is kind of luxury. We always use buttermilk (mor) than the curd as such in earlier days. Now a days though consumption of curd has increase, still for lunch we include only mor. Also elders at home say its healthier to use mor than thayir. Mor/ butter milk is said to be body coolant than thayir. I have replied in detail to many of my reader friends on making curd. Especially people from US, Singapore often ask me the homemade Indian style curd making process. And once they succeed and mail me back sharing their excitement, I really feel happy and content that I could help. I have always thought to make a post on this but somehow it doesn’t happens. So finally time has come to share, to help beginners and particularly this can be useful at this period of time. It can save you bucks, save you trips outside. Also no need to rely on the supply. If you want to learn and perfect the process, please read in detail and patiently. Some tips I have learnt: UHT milk/ curd from tetra pack milk sets thicker comparatively to fresh milk. Experiment with different brands of both milk and curd (starter) to find which works best for your region, climate conditions (USA, Singapore…) and stick to it. If you have local quality brands that supply around fresh curd, use it as it has more live cultures. I set my curd in day time than night as the hot environment helps to set the curd. In cold days/ rainy days, I keep the container around hot areas like next to stove while cooking, by the side of appliances where the surrounding is warmer – example by the side of refrigerator or over it. If you have oven and need warm environment, put inside the oven and leave the oven light on, which will provide necessary temperature. Don’t have oven and have difficulties for similar environment? I keep inside cooker (the warm cooker – not under fire) as soon as I take out cooked rice from cooker and keep it closed. This fastens the process. Boil milk well, bring to the temperature to warm, instead of just heating the milk upto warm. It makes a whole lot of difference in thick texture. Here are some FAQs for making curd: How I make sure curd is set every time perfectly, properly I add a red chilli or green chilli with stalk intact and mix along the starter curd. This double ensures my curd set perfect each and every time. My curd is not set and it looks just like milk when I open after many hours. Why? Your milk was probably too hot. It kills the bacteria that helps the curd to set. Why my curd looks/ is slimy? No one likes to consume slimy curd. You might be letting the milk cool down too much. Temperature is too low for setting. What is the perfect optimum temperature to set curd? You should be able to touch the milk with bare hand. Roughly 30- 40 deg C will be perfect. Is there any particular type of vessel to set curd? Though it is okay to use any type of vessel, I prefer to use vessels with small mouth to help retain heat and doesn’t cool fast like broader vessels. I use a traditional thayir sombu kept alone for this purpose only. Jars with lids like mason jars, Clay pots, soap stones should work great too. My relative sets yogurt in hot pack too. Can I pour the milk over and over again on top of existing curd, in the same pot? It sets very perfect and quick when you do so, but avoid doing it as it’s said to be Not good for health. Which milk and curd I am using in Singapore? I use Amul blue tetra pack and either use milky mist curd from previous setting as starter. Let’s make Indian style Homemade curd: Time needed: 6 hours. How to make Indian style homemade curd: Boiling milk Start heating 1 litre milk in a milk pan. It should be large enough to hold the overflowing milk. Keep stirring Keep stirring occasionally in the beginning. As you see steam rising along the spoon you stir, be careful, your milk is about to boil. Be careful at this stage as it may overflow. Cool down Once it boils – becomes frothy, raises too. Switch off the stove. Cover with a lid. set aside for cooling. Right temperature You should be able to touch the milk with bare hands, if it is warm enough to touch, this is the correct temperature. Transfer to curd setting vessel Transfer to the vessel you are going to set curd in. Preferably which could retain the temperature for a while. Mixing starter curd Next, mix about 2 tbsp of well beaten curd to the milk and stir well. Stir well With a spoon, give a good mix making sure it gets mixed well. Keep covered for setting Leave it in a warm place for setting. Set curd After about 6 hours, the curd will be completely set. Depending on the surrounding temperature, it starts getting set, thicken as time passes. Refrigerate Once set, keep the set curd in refrigerator. Gets more firmer as you refrigerate. Take only required amount when needed and never leave it outside to prevent turning too sour. How to make butter milk from homemade curd? Take 1/2 cup curd a tall vessel.Using a balloon whisk, beat smoothly and add 1 & 1/2 cups water and whisk again to make it smooth. Buttermilk – mor Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set. Troubleshooting tips Troubleshooting What to do with slimy curd? Use it in mor kuzhambu or make neer mor with lots of water. How to avoid slimy curd? Do not use a starter which is slimy. The starter curd is what the home set curd gets it’s taste, texture from. So clean well the vessels, never use the same slimy curd as starter again. It happens in certain environment, it can happen without our control because of something to do with the weather or surroundings- this is my understanding. So if no matter what, you can get slimy curd even though you were able to get proper set curd earlier, just skip making curd for some period of time and use store bought and start with fresh starter curd to set homemade curd. If you check the curd, if it is not starting to set, mix once again and keep over hotter place to set. Use chilli with stalk to ensure it is set. I love natural flavour of curd and not the overpowering milky smelling curd of some brands. Milky mist works best for starter and I buy Nestle if buying, as it is close to homemade curd. Why I set 1 liter curd and not just small portions? I keep forgetting setting curd in everyday basis, so I prefer setting as 1 litre and use it for a week. You can even divide and store in different containers if you want. I hope I shared everything I know, if I remember anything important for this post, I will sure update. Leave comments if you have any suggestions, tips that work for you, which brand milk works best for you etc. This can help others too. The post How to make curd at home, Homemade curd recipe appeared first on Raks Kitchen. from Rak's Kitchen https://ift.tt/2RuCE79

http://easyfoodnetwork.blogspot.com/2020/04/how-to-make-curd-at-home-homemade-curd.html

#EasyFoodNetwork #ComfortFoodRecipes #EasyRecipes #GoodFood #BestComfortFoodRecipes #TastyFoodv

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studylifeusa · 6 years ago

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From Student Blogger, Ravi: *Ce n’est pas de la tarte!

In today's’ blog entry I talk about food but specifically my grandmother’s. Who doesn’t love food? Everyone does! (I hope …) When it is food that you’ve been eating your whole life and when it’s been cooked by someone you love it is very hard to describe the level of satisfaction especially when you eat that particular food after three years!

Three years ago I went back to France after graduating from TMCC. The minute I booked my plane ticket all I could think about was Appachi’s (my grandmother’s) food. I could feel the taste of her food at the tip of my tongue as well as the aromas coming right through my nostrils. After an 11-hour flight, getting cramps because of my long legs and eating crappy food on the plane, I finally arrived home! Appachi gave a me huge hug and I felt her tears of joy running down on the back of the neck and she finished her hug with a kiss on my forehead. Her first words were “Hurry, go take a shower, I will prepare your plate!” So, I ran upstairs, took the quickest shower of my life, ran back downstairs, jumped on the countertop, held the plate in the palm of my left hand and dove into the food with my right hand! I had my first bite and I instantly started to cry because I missed her and the food so much! There are no other words to describe that day!

Growing up, my parents, my uncle and my aunt were working hard to provide for the family and the only person they could trust to take care of us was my grandmother, so I grew up with my Appachi.Appachi is the toughest woman I know and the person that I love the most in this world! She loves to cook for others; no one can ever leave the house without being asked to eat or sometimes they are simply forced to eat. Yup, that’s my grandmother, she has quite a character!

We were six grandchildren growing up with her and we, besides cooking, meant the world to her. We would fight over each other to prove who loves her the most! That should give you an idea of how much Appachimeant to us.

Appachi and us six. From left to right: Prazanna (brother), Gavshi (cousin), Veena (my sister), Gavshal (cousin) Gavmy (cousin), Appachi and me.

I remember coming back home from school for lunch and each grandchild would have their favorite dish ready to eat. She would cook whatever we asked her the night before, we didn’t realize that it was a lot of work for Appachi so our parents would be angry at us for making her work a lot but she just loved it so much that she would tell us to ignore our parents. On a side note: I was a terrible teenager and one of my ways to deal with those emotions was by yelling at my grandmother when the food I expected was not there. After yelling at her I would run upstairs to my room and I’d be sobbing not because my favorite dish was not there but because I yelled at her. However, when I’d come back downstairs she would act like nothing happened, wipe my tears and she would serve the same food I rejected to eat. She knew that I would come back and eat because her food is awesome. I told you she is a tough woman and she knows each of her grandchildren like the back of her hand.

On the left is me crying with Appachi because I was jealous of seeing my sister and my cousin in her arm! The picture on the right is my brother, Appachi and me celebrating his birthday.

The only time we would make her miserable is when we would eat out. She’d get very angry and make that disgusted face when we’d tell her what we ate that day at a restaurant. Combine a disgusted face with her saying, “Why would you eat crappy food for money?” That face is the funniest face she makes every time she disagrees with something we’ve done.

So this is Appachi and Gavmy. She thinks that she loves our grandmother more than everyone else but we all know that it would be me!

After I came to the United States, I started to crave Appachi’s food and I’d call her and ask her for recipes. She would laugh at me and ask me, ”What recipe?” and say: “Just take a piece of paper and write down what I am telling you. So, oil, onion, mustard seed, fennel seeds, curry leaves, the curry powder I sent you, ginger/garlic paste, chicken, salt, no water, that’s it: chicken curry!”

And now I’d have the angry confused face and I’d be like, what you just gave me is the ingredient list. How about the measurements? And she’d just laugh again and say, “Just feel it, taste it, and put more or less stuff, Mokka.” (Mokka means dumb in Tamil).

“What do you mean “feel it?” she told me. “If you remember the taste of my curry, you will eventually reach the taste by modifying the ingredients.” I was very lost at that point and I just told myself, Grandma’s always right, Ravi. Just feel it.

I kid you not that it took me another two months to feel the measurement and reach somewhat the taste of my grandmother’s curry. But hers is always better—cannot beat Appachi! “C’est vraiment pas de la tarte” is a French idiom meaning this is really hard work. But if you literally translate this phrase, it means: “This is really not tart!”

In France we have a lot of idioms involving food that aren’t necessarily linked to food in meaning. Being a foodie, it took me a while when I was a kid to understand what those idioms mean because I would look for the tart and be like, “Well, there is no tart, why are you talking about tart?” Plus the worst part is that it would make me hungry. Ce n’etais vraiment pas de la tartewhen I first tried to replicate my grandmother's chicken curry.

My first try at chicken curry rolls on the left. Puri “unleavened deep fried bread” and potato curry on the right.

*This idiom is a negative version of “to be a piece of cake”. You use it to say something is difficult. Literal translation: it’s not tart.

https://frenchtogether.com/french-idioms-food/

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