#if you find a typo in here no you didn't xoxo

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every single book I read in 2022. all 129 of them.

jesus christ

let's start with the best of the best; everything else will get listed beneath the read more because I'm not an animal. even just picking out my favorites is honestly probably going to get pretty lengthy, even though I'm trying to keep the synopses short.

batmanisagatewaydrug's noteworthy books of 2022

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - necessary for anyone doing diversity work in higher education, tbh

America is Not the Heart (Elaine Castillo, 2018) - achingly gorgeous novel of heartbreak and healing.

The School for Good Mothers (Jessamine Chan, 2022) - honestly? I feel very good calling this my favorite book of the entire year. sensitive, smart, chilling.

Black Feminist Thought (Patricia Hill Collins, 1990) - truly ashamed to say I didn't read this sooner. Collins' clear-eyed analysis remains crazily spot-on 30+ years later.

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021) - I read this book so early in 2022 and literally have not stopped thinking about it since.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - dare I say the most fun I had with a comic all year.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - a romance unlike any other. queer, fun, sexy, bold as hell, and joyfully life-affirming.

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell, 2021) - DELICIOUSLY creepy short stories that will lurk in your brain forever.

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu, 2022) - if a more perfect short story collection exists I am yet to find it.

The World We Make (N.K. Jemisin, 2022) - I normally hesitate to include sequels on a list like this, but god DAMN Jemisin is the queen of modern spec fic for a reason.

We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice (Mariame Kaba, edited by Tamara K. Nopper, 2021) - excellent collection of Kaba's abolitionist writings, drawing on years of organizing experience and wisdom.

Jade City (Fonda Lee, 2017) - look out! new favorite doorstopper fantasy series alert!

Priestdaddy (Patricia Lockwood, 2017) - about the best damn memoir I've ever read. heartbreaking and hysterical in turns, poetry the whole way through.

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996 and 1999) - it's always so exciting when something much-hyped lives up to the hype in every way. Batman at his grim and moody Batmaniest with a Gotham that’s deliciously bleak.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel, 2014) - I didn't think I'd like this book much at all, then ended up proposing on the second date. oops!

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - you will also be glad McCurdy's mom died, and also experience every other known human emotion along the way.

Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel, 2022) - SPLENDID mythology retelling + political fantasy.

My Body (Emily Ratajkowski, 2022) - haunting haunting haunting personal essays about Ratajkowski's life as a model and subsequent alienation from her own body.

Batman: Bruce Wayne, Murderer? (Greg Rucka et al, 2002) - genuinely what can I say I'm a messy bitch and I love when the Bats are having a terrible time.

The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-17 (created by Dan Slott, Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett, Terry Beatty, and Bruce Timm, 2003) - a continuation of the Batman: The Animated Series universe that frankly just fucking rules.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a potent and erotic adult coming of age story.

The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021) - thorny, difficult, vital essays.

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - jaw-droppingly thorough research into the role of fatpobia played and plays in the project of race-making.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong, 2019) - yeah so it turns out no one was REMOTELY exaggerating. Vuong really is That Good.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - wild fun with a ruthless protagonist and her sex villainous beetle man boss; what more could you ask for?

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - learning about queer history makes me feel like I’m holding something so vibrant and fragile and precious right in my little queer hand. this book is an emotional journey in such a shining way.

Never Have I Ever (Isabel Yap, 2021) - EXCITING short story collection centered on girls having Just The Weirdest Time.

and everybody else:

fiction:

Light From Uncommon Stars (Ryka Aoki, 2021)

Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield, 2022)

A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn, 2022)

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy (Becky Chambers, 2022)

Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou, 2022)

The Laws of the Skies (Grégoire Courtois, trans. Rhonda Mullins, 2019)

The Monster Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2018)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2020)

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022)

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022)

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021)

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson)

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, trans. Deborah Smith, 2015)

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, trans. William Aaltonen, 1915)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. Geoffrey Trousselot, 2019)

Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda, 2022)

Long Division (Kiese Laymon, 2014)

Jade War (Fonda Lee, 2019)

No One is Talking About This (Patricia Lockwood, 2021)

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022)

Elatsoe (Darcie Little Badger, 2020)

A Snake Falls to Earth (Darcie Little Badger, 2021)

Glitterati (Oliver K. Longmead)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020)

Nona the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2022)

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa, trans. Stephen Snyder, 2019)

Even Though I Knew the End (C.L. Polk, 2022)

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell, 2021)

Flowers for the Sea (Zin E. Rocklyn, 2021)

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021)

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2012)

Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2022)

Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. Jeremy Tiang, 2020)

short story collections:

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, Yohanco Delgado, Eva L. Ewing, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Danny Lore, and Sheree Renée Thomas, 2022)

Walking on Cowrie Shells (Nana Nkweti, 2021)

Terminal Boredom (Izumi Suzuki, trans. Polly Barton, Sam Bett, David Boyd, Daniel Joseph, Aiko Masubuchi, and Helen O’Horan, 2021)

nonfiction:

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (Judith Butler, 1990)

How to Read Now (Elaine Castillo, 2022)

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Melissa Gira Grant, 2014)

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Aubrey Gordon, 2020)

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (Ruby Hamad, 2020)

Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness (Da'Shaun L. Harrison, 2021)

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service (Tajja Isen, 2022)

One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter (Scaachi Koul, 2017)

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America (Revised Edition) (Kiese Laymon, 2020)

Sister Outsider (Audre Lorde, 1984)

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022)

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Amanda Montell, 2021)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments (Aimee Nezhukumatathil)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, published as Julian Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021)

A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk (edited by Valerie Steele, 2013)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The End of Policing (Alex S. Vitale, 2017)

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversions and the End of Gender (Riki Wilchins, published as Riki Anne Wilchins, 1997)

poetry:

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992)

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022)

Prelude to Bruise (Saeed Jones, 2014)

Alive at the End of the World (Saeed Jones, 2022)

Bright Dead Things (Ada Limón, 2015)

Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals (Patricia Lockwood, 2014)

Nature Poem (Tommy Pico, 2017)

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (Ocean Vuong, 2016)

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022)

comics:

Batman: One Bad Day - Mr. Freeze (Gerry Duggan, Matteo Scalera, and Dave Stewart, 2022)

Spandex - Fast and Hard (Martin Eden, 2012)

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour (Tee Franklin, Max Sarin, and Marissa Louise, 2022)

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert, 2009)

The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg, and Malcom Jones III, 1988)

The Sandman: In the Doll's House (Neil Gaiman, Michael Zulli, Mike Dringenberg, Chris Bachalo, Malcolm Jones III, and Steve Parkhouse, 1989)

The Sandman: Dream Country (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcolm Jones III, Colleen Doran, and Charles Vess, 1991)

The Sandman: Season of Mists (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcom Jones III, Mike Dringenberg, Matt Wagner, P. Craig Russell, George Pratt, and Dick Giordano, 1992)

The Sandman: A Game of You (Neil Gaiman, Shawn McManus, Colleen Doran, Bryan Talbot, Stan Woch, and George Pratt, 1993)

Run, Riddler, Run (Gerard Jones and Mark Badger, 1992)

Catwoman: When in Rome (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 2005)

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986)

Batman: One Bad Day - Penguin (John Ridley, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Cam Smith, and Arif Prianto, 2022)

Batman: Bruce Wayne - Fugitive (Greg Rucka et al, 2002)

Batman: One Bad Day - Two-Face (Mariko Tamaki, Jaiver Fernandez, and Jordie Bellaire, 2022)

Batman & Robin Eternal Vol 1 & Vol 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2015 and 2016)

Batman: Their Dark Designs (James Tynion IV, Guillem March, and Tomeu Morey, 2020)

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez, 2021)

Papergirls Vol. 1-6 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2019)

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022)

Poison Ivy #1-6 (G. Willow Wilson and Marcio Takara, 2022)

and some gaming guides!

Monster of the Week (Michael Sands, 2012) - great game. so cool. cannot wait to actually play it someday.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians (April Kit Walsh, 2021)

special shame zone because I want you to know how bad this sucked, do not read this:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022). patronizing, puritanical, reductive, painfully cisheteronormative. weirdly afraid of group sex. not actually that provocative, just aggressively Catholic.

and last but most certainly least, a comic that I want to remind you all fucking sucked just one more time before the year is done.

Batman: One Bad Day - The Riddler (Tom King and Mitch Gerads, 2022)

Tom King, go fuck yourself. Mitch is cool though, the art slapped.

[mackenzielovee]

mine - rafe cameron

a/n: the way i can hear this gif omg. (not my gif). this was a request from @cmrxac - sorry love i accidentally deleted the request when i was trying to post this so i hope it tags you!! also hope i got it right and did what you wanted! xoxo. also sorry if there are typos i do not have time to edit this and wanted to get it up for you asap!

Summary: Rafe Cameron never dreamed he'd be getting involved with a Pogue. And then, all of the sudden, he can't get you out of his head.

Warnings: swearing, smut (sex scenes, unprotected sex), underage drinking, and Rafe being an asshole

Word Count: 5.9k

my writing

Driving through Figure Eight might as well have been driving through a different world, with the country club and the nice cars and the freshly mowed lawns. It almost makes you feel sick. John B has sent you on a trip to visit the Kook Princess herself in her mansion sized home on the other side of the island. When you asked him why he couldn't go himself he simply told you he was 'busy', but JJ told you later that John B and Sarah had kissed, and now things are awkward between them.

So, you find yourself pulling up to the Cameron mansion in John B's beat up van, groaning loudly as you shut the vehicle off. It's not that you mind seeing Sarah or doing a favor for John B, you just wish it didn't have to be on this side of the island.

You slam the door of the van shut and walk up to the porch, ringing the bell. You can hear the prestigious ring go off inside, and you roll your eyes at the sound. Of course the Cameron's can't have a regular doorbell. You cross your arms and sigh, hoping Sarah's the one who answers the door. she's just about the only Kook you can stand.

You hear the door open and glance up, finding Rafe Cameron standing there, cup in hand. He makes a disgusted face when he sees you, eyeing you up and down. You groan internally, not wanting to even speak to him. Everything about Rafe Cameron screams 'jerk' to you.

"No, we don't want any girl scout cookies," Rafe tells you and starts to close the door. It's clear he is just being an asshole, and you do not have the time for it.

"I'm here to see Sarah," you snap, holding your hand out so he can't close the door.

"My sister, Sarah?" he clarifies, eyeing you up and down again, "Nah, I don't think so."

"Rafe," you hear from inside before he can totally close the door on you, "Stop. I got it."

It's Sarah, thank God. Rafe looks at you one more time and then rolls his eyes, walking away from the door but leaving it open.

"Make sure she doesn't track any dirt in the house," Rafe grumbles as he passes Sarah, to which both of you roll your eyes.

"Hey," Sarah greets you when she reaches the front of the house, "Sorry about... well, him."

You smile quickly and then drop it, "I just need the map for John B."

Sarah nods and holds the door open for you to come into the house. Rafe's words ring in your ears, and you wonder if Sarah's watching you carefully as you enter. You wipe your shoes and then step into the large house, already uncomfortable.

"It's up in my dad's office, I'll go grab it. He doesn't like people up there," Sarah says politely, giving you a genuine smile before she steps off toward the stairs.

You start to walk around the entryway, looking at the different pieces of decor they have laid about. No family photos, nothing that makes it feel like an actual home. To you, it just seems like a museum they own to show off how much money they have. Again, it makes you feel sick.

You look over and find Rafe leaning against a doorframe that you assume leads into their kitchen, sipping something out of a cup from a straw. He's just watching you, not speaking or anything. He doesn't even stop looking when you catch him.

"What?" you finally say, holding your hands out to your sides as if to ask him what his problem is.

"Nothing," he shrugs, taking another sip, "Just making sure nothing goes missing."

You roll your eyes at him, already prepared to bitch John B out when you get back for making you do this. All you can pray for now is that Sarah hurries so that you can just leave. After another painful minute of Rafe watching you, you turn your head and snap at him.

"I'm not going to steal anything, all right? There's nothing here I would want, anyway."

Rafe smirks, "Pogues take what they think they can sell, not what they want. I don't give a damn what you want."

You roll your eyes at him again and sigh loudly, glancing up the stairs to see any sign of Sarah. Nothing.

"What do you want with my sister anyway?" Rafe asks you after a few minutes, still leaning against the doorframe.

"Nothing," you reply smoothly, "I'm actually just befriending her so I can steal your family fortune."

And what do you know, Rafe Cameron smiles. He looks down into his cup to try and hide it, but you still see it. You want to tell him he has a nice smile, but immediately remove that thought from your head because you refuse to have anything at all nice to say about Rafe Cameron.

"Funny," he replies, a smile still evident on his lips.

You give him a fake smile just as you hear Sarah start making her way down the stairs. She holds multiple papers in her hands, and looks apologetic as she sees you.

"I'm so sorry," she says quickly, and you pretend to not notice when Rafe tucks himself back into the kitchen, "My dad was up there rambling on and I couldn't get him to stop."

You shake your head and tell her it's no problem, then hold our hands out to take the papers from her. She explains everything you need to know about the maps, and when she finishes, you tell her you should be getting back.

"You know," Sarah says, "We're having a thing here on Friday night. Totally casual. My parents are going out of town so my brother and I want to have a bunch of people over. I was kind of hoping you and your friends could come."

You glance up at her with a raised eyebrow, "You mean you want me to bring John B?"

You notice Sarah's cheeks turn a shade of pink as she looks to the floor, clearly embarrassed at how obvious she had been.

"Yeah, I guess," she admits, "But I want you and everyone else to come, of course."

"Of course," you repeat, knowing she's full of shit, "Um, I'll run it by everyone. I make no promises, though."

Sarah smiles shyly at you and nods her head. You feel guilty when you see her little smile, knowing she really wants John B here tomorrow. You groan internally as you make a mental note to tell him about it, but you won't be returning. Not Friday, not ever.

"Thanks," Sarah says quietly.

You nod, "I really gotta get back. Thanks for the maps and everything. John B will be pleased."

You add the last part just to try and make her happy, which it seems to. She grins and nods her head as she shows you to the door.

"I didn't catch your name."

You glance back and see Rafe leaning in the doorway again. You frown at him, wanting him to leave you alone.

"That's because I didn't give it," you snap at him, then turn back to Sarah, "Thanks again. See you."

Sarah opens the front door for you and you exit the house without so much as a glance back at either of the Cameron siblings. John B owes you big time for making you go there, that much you know.

When you get back to the house, Kiara and the boys are sitting out on the porch. John B stands when you pull up, wanting the maps as well as a detailed account of everything Sarah said to you while you were there.

"Here are your fucking maps," you snap at him and shove them into his chest, huffing as you sit down on the couch beside JJ.

“What happened to you?” John B questions your attitude.

"Rafe Cameron happened to me," you mutter, rolling your eyes, "What an asshole."

"What did he say to you?" JJ asks, his voice growing more serious.

"Oh, the usual. Basically called me a dirty Pogue and then kept an eye on me the entire time I was in the house because he said Pogues steal what they can sell. Like anyone would want anything that guy's touched," you grumble.

"What a piece of shit," JJ replies, handing you one of the blunts he had just rolled.

"What about Sarah?" John B asks as he sits down across from you.

You flick the lighter and inhale the weed JJ bought from Barry earlier. Say what you will about Barry, but that guy gets his hands on good shit. Thankfully, one hit helps you relax. You hold the joint between your fingers and lower it from your face as you look at John B.

"She invited us over Friday night. Apparently she and Rafe are throwing a party because her folks will be out of town. It's an invite for all of us, but really just you, John B."

John B's eyes trail down to the ground and he bites his lip to hide a smile, which makes JJ pretend to throw up. Pope puts his arm around John B's neck and pulls him in, laughing at him.

"No way am I going to a Kook party," Kiara buts in. Of course she wouldn't, not after her whole mysterious falling out with Sarah. Frankly, you're sick of hearing about it.

"Yeah, fuck that, I'm not going either," JJ speaks up, grabbing the lighter from you.

"No," John B speaks up, "Come on. You guys have to go. Please. It's the perfect opportunity to get into her dad's office and find out what else he knows about the gold-"

"Oh, don't pretend like this is about the gold," JJ groans, "You wanna go to that party to get into Sarah Cameron's pants. Just admit it."

"Gross, JJ," Kiara mutters.

"It's true!" JJ defends.

"Guys," John B interrupts them, "Fine. I want to go to see Sarah. But I really want you guys to go with me so I'm not by myself. Please. Do me a favor."

"I already did you a fucking favor," you say, pointing to the maps as proof.

"Please, Y/N," John B's voice goes soft, and you can already feel yourself melting, "Guys?"

"All right, I'm in," Pope groans, laying back in his chair. He's already dreading the night.

"I guess I could spend one night drinking all of Rafe Cameron's beer," JJ mumbles. He takes another hit off of his joint, so you do the same.

"Kiara? Y/N?" John B questions.

You glance at Kie, then back at John B, "I have conditions."

"Fine. What are they?" he asks you, ready to say yes to whatever.

"I don't end up on my own. We leave after two hours, and we leave together."

"Done," John B swats his hand through the air like it's nothing. Two hours with Sarah Cameron sounds like heaven to him.

"You and I can just drink together," JJ smiles sweetly over to you, "That way, you don't end up alone."

"Good idea," you move your knee and hit his playfully, making his smile grow wider.

Kiara still has a bitchy look on her face, and you know she's about to make this complicated. If she goes into her whole Sarah Cameron story one more time, you're going to lose it.

"Kiara," John B's voice is serious, "It's two hours."

"Fine," Kie snaps, "But you better keep that bitch away from me."

"Don't worry," John B mutters. You can't help but laugh, so you try your best to bury it in your blunt.

The house is loud when you all show up, but none of you mind. Kiara's been huffing and puffing since you all climbed into the van to drive over here, so you're happy it's noisy. It means you don't have to listen to her. Once you get up to the open front door, the amount of people starts to overwhelm you. You all lose John B instantly as he goes off to find Sarah. JJ takes your hand when you both enter the house, ensuring he doesn't lose you.

JJ leads you to the kitchen, where he assumes the beer will be, not letting go of your hand the entire time. Once you enter, you look around to see if you recognize anyone. You don't. All of them look like the preppy, Kook kids you would expect to find at a place like this.

You spot Rafe on the other side of the kitchen, drinking and laughing with two guys you don't know. The second you see him, your hatred comes boiling back up and you tighten your grip around JJ's hand. He feels this and turns back, putting his mouth up to your ear so you can hear him.

"You okay?" he asks you.

You glance over at Rafe again and see he's now looking at you, too. He's watching JJ as he whispers in your ear and holds your hand. You glare at him, then move your eyes back over to your blonde best friend.

"Yeah, I'm good," you say, not wanting to get into it.

JJ nods and leads you to a less crowded spot in the room, grabbing some guy at the keg and telling him he needs two beers. The guy hands them off to JJ, who then hands one to you.

"Well," JJ starts, leaning against the wall as he looks down at you, "One hour and fifty six minutes to go."

You smile and sip on the beer, knowing that if you have to spend all that time here, you might as well be intoxicated while you do it. You and JJ talk throughout the night, drinking and making fun of the different people that come in and out of the kitchen. You even admit to him that the night isn't as bad as you thought it was going to be, and it's all due to him.

Closer to the end of the night, you and JJ are sitting at the bar in the kitchen, JJ's arm loosely wrapped around the back of your chair. You don't even think twice about it, because JJ always did that when you sat beside him.

"Well, well, well," you hear, breaking your glance away from JJ, "If it isn't the girl with no name."

Rafe stands in front of the two of you, keeping his eyes only on you. He has a cup in his hand, and you wonder how drunk he really is.

"Yeah," you reply shortly, trying to get him to leave you alone.

"And I see you brought your boyfriend with you this time to help you stake the place out. I'll give you a tip, my dad has a safe in his office. Crack that code, and you can be a Kook just like the rest of us."

You take a deep breath and try to keep yourself calm, even though you really want to call Rafe an asshole and then ask JJ if you guys can leave. Then, you remember your own rule. No leaving without everyone.

"Yo, Rafe, dude," JJ starts, "We're not here to take anything, all right?"

Rafe glances at JJ for the first time, and the expression on his face when he does is enough to make you want to claw his eyes out. He looks at that boy like he's garbage that needs taken to the curb.

"Oh, right, because Pogues always tell the truth," Rafe laughs sarcastically, "Silly me."

"What do you want, Rafe?" you groan. You were having such a good time with JJ, you just want to get back to that.

"Now, sweetheart, I think it's a little unfair that you know my name and yet, I don't know yours. I mean, I get it, I practically own the island but-"

"Don't flatter yourself," you roll your eyes, "You're always just gonna be Sarah Cameron's coked out older brother over on the Cut."

Rafe takes half a step back at your words, almost looking a little hurt. Then, all at once, his expression turns angry.

"JJ, man, you might wanna get your girlfriend here to watch her mouth," Rafe practically growls.

"Oh, fuck off, Rafe," JJ waves him off, purposely bringing his arm off the back of your chair and around your shoulders instead. Neither of you plan on telling him you're not dating.

"Let me tell you something," Rafe looks at you, "You might want to watch the way you talk to me in my own house, sweetheart. You don't know how difficult I can make your life."

"Because you own the island, right?" you smirk, hearing JJ snicker beside you.

Rafe exhales and looks like he's trying to kill you with a simple look, then turns and walks away from the two of you.

"Not bad for a dirty Pogue, huh?" you ask JJ, who sets his arm on the back of your chair again. He grins at you.

"I'd say you're on the more clean side," he teases.

You two get back into your conversations, and when your phone finally buzzes, you almost don't want to leave. You rarely get one on one time with JJ, and it's nice.

"Two hours is up," you announce, showing him your phone. It's a text message from Kiara, telling you to meet them out front to leave.

"Damn, that went by kind of fast," JJ says as he hops off of his barstool, holding his hand out for you.

"I have to pee before we go," you tell him, "You gave me too many drinks."

He loops his fingers through yours and begins to lead you through the people, "You drank too many drinks."

You laugh and follow him as he leads you through the kitchen, then down a little hallway where he assumes a bathroom is based on the few people standing outside the door. JJ stands and waits with you until it's your turn, then promises to meet you out front when you're done. You tell him you'll be fine and go inside, doing your best to hurry because you know other people are waiting.

Once you're finished, you pull open the door and find Rafe leaning up against the doorframe with his arms crossed. When he lays his eyes on you, he steps forward, making you step back, and uses his body to block your exit out of the bathroom. He turns his head to the people that are waiting to go in.

"Bathroom's closed," he tells them, then pushes you the rest of the way into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

"Rafe, what the fuck? Let me out," you step toward the door, but he moves in front of the handle so you can't get it. You wish you hadn't let JJ go outside.

"No," he says simply, "I can't let you leave until I'm sure you didn't take anything that belongs to me."

You laugh, but it's sarcastic. He's trapped you in the bathroom and scared you because he's afraid you shoved a spoon in your pocket.

"Fuck you, I don't want any of your shit," you say, trying to get past him once again. He grabs onto your shoulders and pushes you back, away from the door.

"You know," he says to you, leaning his head down so close to yours that you can feel his breath on your cheek, "You really have a mouth on you, darling."

You swallow at the feelings you get by him being so close to you. You're not sure if it's his hands on your shoulders or his lips only inches from yours, but it's doing something to you.

"Pogues generally do," you try to say it sarcastically, but it comes out weaker than you wished. That's how Rafe knows he's getting to you.

"Yeah, I know," he's whispering now, "Can I tell you something?"

You stare up at him, not knowing how to respond. You know he's drunk, but you are too, so you're not really sure where that leaves the two of you. When you don't respond, he continues. His hands travel lightly down your arms and then back up again, creating goosebumps on your skin.

"I wasn't really a fan of watching JJ fawn all over you tonight," Rafe says, then laughs, "But how stupid is that? I don't even know your name."

"It's Y/N," you say quickly, then curse yourself. Sober you would've teased him a bit more before you told him what it was.

"Y/N," he repeats, saying it slowly, "And how long have you and JJ been together?"

He's still standing extremely close to you, and you want to tell him you're uncomfortable pressed against the sink the way you are, but his skin feels really good on yours and you like the way you can smell his cologne mixed with the alcohol on his breath.

"We're not," you admit, "Just friends."

"Just friends," Rafe repeats you again, loving the way your breath hitches when he moves his hand across your shoulder up to your jaw.

"Yes," you say, swallowing your nervousness. You really have no idea what he's up to.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, and you can feel his cold ring against your neck, "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since you left the other day. And then when you showed up here with JJ, well, let's just say I wasn't in very good shape."

You can tell. He's very drunk.

"Rafe," you say quietly, "I need to leave now."

He smiles deviously at you, "When I'm done with you, I'll let you go."

Before you can even process what he said, his hand wraps around your throat and pulls you into him. You melt into his kiss quickly, allowing your want for him to take over. Drunk hate sex in a rich person bathroom didn't sound like the worst thing in the world to you.

His tongue enters your mouth as he reaches around to your ass and lifts you up, setting you back down on the vanity. Rafe wastes no time at all, reaching down to unbutton your shorts and pull them away. You do the same to him, neither one of you breaking the kiss. One hand of his comes up to your cheek and holds onto you, while the other travels down to your underwear. He starts to rub you, smirking against your lips as he feels how wet you already are.

"That better be for me, not the thug you came in with," Rafe says quickly, kissing you again as soon as he finishes his sentence.

"Shut up, Rafe," you say as you shove his pants down from his waist. You pull his boxers down and set your hand around him, rubbing him slightly. He's already rock hard.

"Hmm," he hums into your mouth, "No time for that."

He pulls your underwear down fast and with force, satisfied when it falls from your ankles onto the floor. You grab onto the back of his neck to brace yourself, so ready to feel him. For some reason, none of this feels weird to you.

When he pushes himself inside of you, you gasp loudly, making him smirk yet again. He starts to move in and out of you very quickly, getting all his frustration out from having to watch you laugh with JJ all night.

"JJ's not as big as me, huh?" Rafe smirks down at you, loving watching you take him.

"Shut up, Rafe," you repeat, but it comes out more of a moan this time.

His hand comes back up to your throat again, squeezing slightly as he continues to fuck the daylights out of you. Every moan, every gasp, only encourages him to go faster, harder, make you louder.

"I'm gonna-" you start, but Rafe brings his hand from your throat to your mouth to stop you from speaking.

"Not yet," he instructs, "We're gonna set some rules."

"Rafe," you whine, not sure if you can hold it back. He hasn't slowed his pace, but the look in his eyes as he stares down at you tells you he's serious.

"You will not come back into this house with another guy, is that clear?"

You look at him like he's crazy, but when he pushes himself even deeper into you, it makes you throw your head back and groan. He feels so fucking good inside of you, knowing exactly where and how fast to go to get you to scream.

"Yes," you tell him.

"You'll be available when I want you to be, come over when I tell you."

He starts groaning and his voice comes out strained, so you can tell he's getting close as well. Him saying that makes you think he wants to do this again, and judging by the way you feel now, you definitely agree with that.

"Fuck, yes, Rafe. Whatever you want. Please."

Rafe grins triumphantly and leans down, kissing you roughly before he returns his hand to your throat.

"You can come, sweetheart. Come for me."

His words right then and there could've made you come ten minutes ago. You practically scream out Rafe's name as you come, and you can tell he goes directly after you by the noise he makes. Your hands are tangled in his hair as you try and catch your breath, but you're surprised when Rafe immediately pulls out of you and starts looking for his clothes.

"You should get back to your friends," he tells you, picking up your underwear and handing it to you.

"What, that's it?" you start to laugh, "Rafe Cameron has an orgasm and now he's back to being a jerk?"

Rafe stares blankly at you, "I've always been a jerk. Get dressed and then get out of my house. Come by tomorrow at four. I have plans for us."

He pulls his shorts back on, not even bothering with his boxers. He just stuffs them in a corner of the bathroom and figures he'll get them later. When he reaches for the door handle, your voice stops him.

"For the record," you speak out, "I don't think you're always a jerk. You put that shit on. I won't tell anyone, you know."

Rafe doesn't turn, but you know you've gotten to him because of the way his back muscles relax once you finish speaking. He pulls open the door about halfway, then speaks again.

"Get dressed. Don't forget about tomorrow."

He closes the door softly behind him, and you hear him tell someone outside to wait on you to come out. So, that's exactly what you do. You put your underwear and shorts back on, then try your best to fix your hair in the mirror so you don't walk outside and give yourself away. Once you're satisfied, you make your way out of the bathroom. You walk through the crowds of people, yet you feel more calm than you did when JJ was holding your hand. Something about Rafe's possessive words and him telling you to come back tomorrow just has a hold over you.

When you get outside to the van, JJ is waiting outside for you, starting to look worried.

"Line took that long?" he asks, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah," you lie easily, passing him to get into the van.

The next day, you lie and tell your friends you have to be home for a family thing. They all tell you you're lame and to come back afterward, which you agree to. How long would Rafe really take with you, anyway?

The walk takes longer than you expect, so you know you're going to be late. You reach the Cameron estate twelve minutes past four, but still stroll up the driveway. You're kind of shocked when you see Rafe standing outside the door, checking his watch and huffing. When he sees you, he rolls his eyes and starts walking toward you, meeting you halfway.

"Hey-" you start, but are startled when he grabs onto your wrist and forcibly starts dragging you toward the house.

"I'm gonna have to buy you a fucking watch, apparently," he mutters as he pulls. You try to get him to let go, but he's too strong.

"More like a car," you say back, watching as he looks back and glares at you.

You honestly have no idea what you're doing here, and that thought doesn't dawn on you until Rafe is dragging you up the stairs, still muttering to himself about how you're late and he should've made that a rule yesterday, but he didn't think you were that dumb. You want to speak up, but he's kind of hot when he's mad.

He finally lets go of you when the two of you enter his bedroom. You observe the place, but it's not much different than you expected. Typical bedroom of a teenage guy. When you look back up at him, he's looking at you like he's waiting on you to do something.

"What?" you say to him.

"Lie down," he says as if it's obvious, holding his hand out to his bed.

You don't immediately move, you just stare at him as if to ask him if he's serious. After a second, he sighs and brings his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Now," he adds.

You laugh lightly but do what he wants, kicking off your sandals and laying down on his side of the bed.

"Shorts, off," he commands, using his pointer finger to silently tell you to remove them.

You do as he says, tying not to get too turned on at the way he's demanding you do these things. For some reason, his dominant side gets you going. He steps over to the bed now and lays down in between your legs, reaching up and hooking his fingers through the waistband of your underwear. He pulls them off and smirks at how wet you are. The same way you were last night.

"I did all this to you?" he looks up at you, a proud look in his eye. You nod, practically unable to speak.

He gets to work quickly, making you moan and yell out his name. You love the way he kisses your inner thighs every so often, which he starts doing more of when you get loud each time he does it. He brings two fingers up and sticks them into your mouth, then brings them back down and puts them inside of you. He loves watching you squirm, and loves hearing you scream his name. You come in practically no time, looking down to watch Rafe clean his fingers off completely.

"Holy shit," you say.

He pulls himself up between your legs and lays on top of you now, bringing his lips down to yours and shoving his tongue in your mouth with hopes that you can taste yourself on him still. He's hard as he's ever been, but wants to let you recharge so he can make you come again.

He pulls away after a few minutes and looks down at you, a different look in his eye this time. He almost looks like he's adoring you as he stares into your eyes and soaks up all the little details about your face.

"Rafe," you whisper, about to ask him what he's doing when he speaks.

"You're beautiful," he whispers, speaking before he thinks about it.

He almost wants to take it back, but when he sees the smile break out onto your face, he brings his hand up to stroke your cheek instead. He loves how soft your skin is.

"Thank you," you reply softly.

He leans down and kisses you, this kiss more gentle than any of the ones he's given you. It doesn't seem sexual to you, it seems purely for his enjoyment.

"I told you, you're not always a jerk. I like this Rafe," you tell him, running a hand up through his hair. His eyes close as you do this, only making him look even more precious to you.

"You're not allowed to tell anyone," he teases you. You smile, but nod in agreement.

"How come you wanted to set those rules with me last night?" you ask him, keeping your voice gentle so as not to upset him.

He sighs and collapses next to you, laying on his side to make sure he still faces you. You turn to face him as well, your lips only inches apart as you stare at each other.

"I got more jealous than I care to admit when I saw you walk in holding hands with JJ," he tells you, his voice weak, "So, I thought if we had rules, then you'd understand."

You furrow your eyebrows at him, "Understand what?"

He smiles softly at you, reaching over to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear. You smile under his movement, but still look at him for an answer.

"I haven't been able to get you out of my head. I thought if we had rules, you would understand that you are mine, nobody else's. I don't want anyone else to touch you or talk to you or be near you."

You know it sounds toxic as hell, but you can't help the way it makes you wet again. Rafe Cameron wanting you all to himself made you feel like you've hit the jackpot.

"You understand how unreasonable that is, yes?" you ask him, smiling slowly.

Rafe nods, but doesn't speak at first. You lean over and kiss him softly, pulling away after a few seconds.

"I think I can abide by your reasonable rules," you tell him, "But I have a few of my own."

"What is this, a list of demands?" Rafe laughs lowly. You smile.

"Maybe."

"All right," he grumbles, "Out with them."

You laugh and stare at him as you start to tell him the only one you have, "I want to tell people about us."

Rafe stares at you expressionless, and you're worried that in the blink of an eye, everything's going to go away. You're a Pogue, after all. He would never want to be in a public relationship with a Pogue.

You're surprised when Rafe starts to grin, "Is that all of them?"

You sit up and stare at him, wondering when he's going to object.

"You mean, you're cool with that?" you say, sounding absolutely blown away.

"I told you," Rafe says, still trying not to laugh at you, "I want everyone to know that you're mine. I thought that part was kind of self explanatory."

You smile and lean down, giving him multiple quick kisses on the lips. He laughs against you, then reaches up and pulls you on top of him.

"I have one more," you tease him, running your hands up and down his chest. He hums, asking you what it is, "You have to not get mad when I'm late."

Rafe laughs, loud this time, then leans up and kisses your forehead, "How about, I pick you up and drive you everywhere so you don't have to worry about it."

You nod your head and smile at him, "I'm gonna like this."

He rolls his eyes but can't help his smile, "Now, can you help me fix the tent in my shorts, please?"

"Absolutely."