#if you ever switch to a different platform to continue writing
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yerimselgi · 3 months ago
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i’ve seen a lot of great creators leave this app for this same reason but i’m genuinely devastated about you & your blog specifically 😭 i finally logged on so i could catch up on the written parts from this month (i’ve been thinking about them every day but have been insanely busy to catch up) and this is what i see instead 😔
i am SO so sorry that you’ve been having to deal with this for so long now. i have been reading all of your updates since watercolor and have been following “heart out” since the very beginning- yet i never knew you were going through this and that the negative comments had gotten so bad. all i ever saw was people praising your work (and rightfully so, you’re so so talented). i’m just glad to hear it has not affected your self esteem as a writer, but it is rather the tumblr environment that you need a change from. i’d absolutely love to read your works in a different platform if needed, there are so many of us who would follow you wherever. especially if you decide to finish “heart out,” it is so sad to think that, after such a long time, the story would be left incomplete right when their relationship is taking a turn 🥺 but i do hope you take all the time that you need <3 and i hope you feel how loved you truly are in this app despite all of the negativity, i hope this love has made your experience here at least worth something 💗
PS i’ll be catching up on the last few written parts this week, i feel so sorry that i wasn’t able to share my thoughts on the story with you more often since i was always half asleep or busy with school/work 😣 reading the updates was TRULY the best part of my weeks. it was probably my favorite fic/au i have read on this app in all of my years here. thank you for everything! see you again soon (crossing fingers) 💖
okay so i’ve been considering this for a couple of weeks now.
the amount of hate i’ve been getting since december has really gotten out of hand, to the point i don’t even want to come here anymore. i’ve always loved discussing my stories and replying to asks or comments about them that can be considered controversial, but ever since watercolor i’ve noticed that i can’t really do that in this blog, because me answering one controversial ask seems to be an open invitation for some people to attack me as a person and never let it go.
not only that, but i haven’t been able to post a single chapter of heart out for two months now without getting rude people coming at me, and while they do not affect my self esteem or anything, it does affect my joy of coming here, which is by now non-existent. i love writing and posting my works, but some of you have taken the fun away from it.
with that said, this blog will be inactive as of today.
i’m not anywhere near done writing, but i won’t be coming back to this blog to do so. this used to be my safe place and it no longer feels like that to me, so i’m looking for a new one.
thank you to those of you who always commented and followed my stories, and i’m sorry i’ll be leaving this last one unfinished. i wish you all the best<3
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evilwriter37 · 25 days ago
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For how long have you had this acc/been in the fandom? Have you ever dropped out for a bit or felt like the love was slowly fading?
Ive seen some(many) people on here (diff fandoms) who have been at it for 7ish+ years on different platforms and its really shocking but i still find it very nice that ive finally come across them despite how late i usually am
Been here since season 1 of RTTE! So 2015! Really, HTTYD was turning into a special interest for me when the second movie came out in 2014, but I had yet to get a tumblr or interact properly with the fandom.
The interest hasn’t really ever faded or switched to something else. Yes, I have other special interests, but none like this. This is The One™.
I admit that I get kind of sad when I see people move on from this fandom, but that just means that I enjoyed their stay, and I do really hope they do whatever makes them happy. And if this fandom no longer does that for them? Then that’s okay!
I started writing Infernal Fascination in 2016 after seeing season 2 of RTTE. It took about 3 years of continuous work to finish. (And then a huge gap where I just couldn’t find the right words to work on the epilogue. Best epilogue I’ve ever written though, when I did get around to it.)
So, yeah, if y’all wonder how I have so many HTTYD fics and so many words posted? Part of it is because I’ve been at it for 10 years.
I don’t see myself stopping any time soon.
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an-aussie-button-masher · 7 months ago
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A New Direction - Five Games that Broke Their Series' Mould
   It’s time to switch things up a little! When a game series runs long enough, it’s only a matter of time before the developers try taking it into a new direction to shake things up. It can be as major a change as shifting genre entirely, to more minor changes like moving away from established mechanics or aesthetics. Maybe the fans had grown tired of the status quo and demanded something fresh, or perhaps the new entry is handled by a completely different development team. Sometimes the changes are well-received and stick around for the rest of the series going forward, or it turns out to be a bad move and the developers just return to their usual style. Take a look at these five games that tried something new for their series, and see for yourself whether or not it ever works out - enjoy!
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Tales from the Borderlands    So, you want to hear another story in the Borderlands universe? How about one that’s focused more on the actual story? The main Borderlands games are all first-person looter-shooters where the plot is generally just an excuse to move from one place to the next and shoot everyone there, but the spinoff Tales from the Borderlands is instead a narrative-based choose-your-own-adventure story in standard Telltale Games style. Instead of a badass bullet-spewing bandit-exploding one-person-army Vault Hunter, you play as an anxious middle-manager named Rhys and a somewhat overconfident scam-artist named Fiona, dragged together by a rapidly-escalating con that lands them in trouble with ruthless gangsters and on the path to a mysterious alien Vault. The game didn’t draw quite as much of an audience as the mainline Borderlands games, but those that did play it tend to laud it as the series’ best writing, and the events of the story is still strongly felt in future games with several characters returning for later instalments.
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Fallout: New Vegas   War…war never changes. Except when it does, like it did in Fallout: New Vegas. Developed by Obsidian Entertainment - the creators of the first two top-down Fallout games before Bethesda took over for Fallout 3 - New Vegas naturally returns to the west coast setting of the original games, wrapping up a lot of the plot threads and arcs in that side of the wasteland. While it continues the first-person shooter style of Fallout 3, it also features a greater focus on RPG-like elements, including a distinct set of playstyle-defining unlockable perks, a karma meter and faction reputation system that affect the plot and behaviour of most characters, and a much wider variety of story paths that can be taken by the player. In the irradiated desert of post-apocalyptic Nevada, a lone Courier finds themselves dragged into a war for control of the shining New Vegas and treacherous Mojave Desert between violent gangs, struggling militaries and vicious cults - play your cards right, and you can single-handedly determine the future of the entire region. Despite being a bit of a buggy mess, the games’ open-ended nature and compelling narrative keeps it generally considered as one of the best RPGs ever made!
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Super Mario Bros. Wonder    Even experimenting around in the same genre can lead to something new. For the longest time, the Super Mario Bros. 2-D platformer games were stuck in the same old aesthetics, the same old mechanics, the same old level structures, and the same old enemies for over seventeen years in an era ironically referred to as the “New” style, and fans were growing weary. Enter Super Mario Bros. Wonder, and suddenly Nintendo was willing to mess around with things! A new aesthetic with a gorgeous artstyle and snazzy animations, new mechanics and abilities, new playable characters, new music, a new Kingdom, even new voice actors - Wonder was a welcome breath of fresh air for this corner of the franchise. As Mario and co. explore the colourful Flower Kingdom in pursuit of Bowser, the levels constantly introduce new ideas and gameplay elements to keep things interesting, and fans absolutely loved it, with many hoping it leads to further experimentation from Nintendo with its flagship series.
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Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One    Taking a renowned singleplayer series and hopping over to co-operative play, All 4 One remixes the usual run-and-gun platforming action of Ratchet & Clank into a multiplayer team experience. Up to four players together can control the headstrong Ratchet, the calculating Clank, the egotistical Captain Qwark and the villainous Dr. Nefarious as they (reluctantly) work together to escape the mysterious and treacherous planet they’re all stranded on. The game features a fixed camera angle and more linear levels, each loaded with obstacles and enemies that must be dealt with as a team, and a heavier focus on puzzles that require working together as a unit to overcome. Better hope you and your friends have good communication skills. Released in-between the more popular eras of the series in a time when some of the games were a bit more experimental and divisive, All 4 One wasn’t especially successful but the dozen or so people that actually played it enjoyed a decently fun party game. Fortunately, the series returned to its roots shortly afterwards, but All 4 One remains an okay entry to play with friends.
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Doom³     Trading slaying for scaring, Doom³ took the high-octane demon-blasting action of the classic DOOM games and twisted it into survival horror. A reboot of sorts for the previous games instead of a direct continuation, Doom³’s plot remains fairly similar - mad scientists on a Mars base open a portal to Hell, demons invade and trash the place, and it’s up to one lone gun-toting marine to rip and tear through every demon in his way. However, there’s not so much ripping and tearing this time around; with slightly slower-paced action and a darker atmosphere, the games takes on a spookier survival theme with limited ammo, occasional jumpscares and a story taken much more seriously with little of the dark humour found in the previous games. While some fans considered the survival horror retooling to be the wrong move, slowing the gameplay down, Doom³ still managed to outperform the previous entries and brought DOOM once again to the forefront of gaming. That said, the modern DOOM games returned to the classic run-and-gun gameplay with very few of Doom³’s elements present, making the genre shift all the more distinct.
   Don’t be afraid to try something new every once in a while! Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you now know what not to do. How did you feel about these games taking a step away from their series’ formulas? Got any other games that could fit this list? Let me know! Feedback, reblogs and likes are all much appreciated!
   Thanks for reading!
An Aussie Button-Masher
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marketingprofitmedia · 12 days ago
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Prime AI Review – Access Multiple Premium AI Tools from One Dashboard
 Welcome to my Prime AI Review, In today’s AI-powered digital world, creators, marketers, developers, and entrepreneurs are leveraging AI tools more than ever before. AI is transforming workflows and maximizing output, from content creation and voice cloning to design, automation, and customer engagement. However, switching between multiple tools from different providers is not only time-consuming but also expensive and inefficient.
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In this comprehensive Prime AI review, we’ll cover everything you need to know about this groundbreaking platform, its features, benefits, use cases, pricing, pros, cons, and, most importantly, whether it’s worth your time and money in 2025 and beyond.
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With Prime AI, you get access to cutting-edge tools for content creation, communication, design, analytics, and automation, all in one place. This platform saves time and reduces the complexity of managing multiple tools. The tools included in Prime AI are known for their innovation, user-friendly interfaces, and effectiveness in their respective fields.
Prime AI Review: Overview of Product
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Prime AI Review: About Authors
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Prime AI Review: Key Features of Prime AI
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Prime AI Review: Benefits of Prime AI
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Prime AI Review: Pros and Cons
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No recurring fees (during launch).
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Check Out My Previous Reviews: Academy App Review, MeetBuddyAI Review, Tube Bonanza Review, AZ Instant PayDay Review, and AI Coloring Book Creator Review.
Thank for reading my honest “Prime AI Review” till the end. Hope it will help you to make purchase decision perfectly.
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michelcuerous · 23 days ago
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Michel Cuero - Tips To Save The Environment
Protecting the environment is a responsibility we all share. As climate change, pollution, and deforestation continue to threaten our planet, it’s more important than ever to adopt eco-friendly habits that contribute to a sustainable future. Making small changes in our daily routines can have a big impact on preserving the Earth for future generations.
Michel Cuero, a blogger who writes extensively about travel, health, and fitness, also emphasizes the importance of living in harmony with nature. Here are some practical tips to help save the environment.
1. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
The classic three Rs remain one of the most effective ways to minimize waste. Reduce your consumption by avoiding single-use products, reuse items whenever possible, and recycle materials like paper, plastic, and glass. Michel Cuero encourages his readers to incorporate these principles in everyday life, especially when traveling, to reduce their ecological footprint.
2. Conserve Water
Water is a precious resource, and conserving it is essential for environmental sustainability. Simple actions like fixing leaks, turning off the tap while brushing your teeth, and using water-efficient appliances can significantly reduce water usage. Collecting rainwater for gardening and using low-flow showerheads are additional ways to make a difference.
3. Use Eco-Friendly Transportation
Reducing vehicle emissions is crucial for combating air pollution and climate change. Whenever possible, walk, bike, carpool, or use public transportation. If you drive, consider switching to a fuel-efficient or electric vehicle. Michel Cuero, who often explores cities on foot or bike during his travels, highlights that eco-friendly transportation is not only good for the environment but also for personal health.
4. Cut Down on Energy Consumption
Saving energy at home and work can reduce carbon emissions. Turn off lights and electronics when not in use, switch to LED bulbs, and use energy-efficient appliances. Consider investing in renewable energy sources like solar panels. These changes may seem small, but they collectively have a significant positive impact.
5. Support Sustainable Products and Brands
Choose products made from sustainable materials and support companies that prioritize environmentally friendly practices. Avoid items with excessive packaging and opt for local, organic produce. Michel Cuero believes that being a conscious consumer is a powerful way to drive change and support eco-responsible businesses.
6. Plant Trees and Support Green Spaces
Trees are vital for cleaning the air, providing oxygen, and supporting biodiversity. Participate in local tree-planting initiatives or start a garden at home. Green spaces not only benefit the environment but also enhance mental well-being and community health.
7. Educate and Advocate
Spread awareness about environmental issues by educating yourself and others. Use your voice to advocate for policies that promote sustainability and protect natural resources. Michel Cuero often uses his blogging platform to inspire readers to take action and live more sustainably.
Conclusion
Saving the environment begins with individual action. By adopting eco-friendly habits and encouraging others to do the same, we can collectively protect the planet for future generations. Michel Cuero, a dedicated blogger in travel, health, and fitness, believes that every small step counts. Let’s work together to create a cleaner, greener, and more sustainable world.
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michel-cuero · 23 days ago
Text
Michel Cuero - Tips To Save The Environment
Protecting the environment is a responsibility we all share. As climate change, pollution, and deforestation continue to threaten our planet, it’s more important than ever to adopt eco-friendly habits that contribute to a sustainable future. Making small changes in our daily routines can have a big impact on preserving the Earth for future generations.
Michel Cuero, a blogger who writes extensively about travel, health, and fitness, also emphasizes the importance of living in harmony with nature. Here are some practical tips to help save the environment.
1. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
The classic three Rs remain one of the most effective ways to minimize waste. Reduce your consumption by avoiding single-use products, reuse items whenever possible, and recycle materials like paper, plastic, and glass. Michel Cuero encourages his readers to incorporate these principles in everyday life, especially when traveling, to reduce their ecological footprint.
2. Conserve Water
Water is a precious resource, and conserving it is essential for environmental sustainability. Simple actions like fixing leaks, turning off the tap while brushing your teeth, and using water-efficient appliances can significantly reduce water usage. Collecting rainwater for gardening and using low-flow showerheads are additional ways to make a difference.
3. Use Eco-Friendly Transportation
Reducing vehicle emissions is crucial for combating air pollution and climate change. Whenever possible, walk, bike, carpool, or use public transportation. If you drive, consider switching to a fuel-efficient or electric vehicle. Michel Cuero, who often explores cities on foot or bike during his travels, highlights that eco-friendly transportation is not only good for the environment but also for personal health.
4. Cut Down on Energy Consumption
Saving energy at home and work can reduce carbon emissions. Turn off lights and electronics when not in use, switch to LED bulbs, and use energy-efficient appliances. Consider investing in renewable energy sources like solar panels. These changes may seem small, but they collectively have a significant positive impact.
5. Support Sustainable Products and Brands
Choose products made from sustainable materials and support companies that prioritize environmentally friendly practices. Avoid items with excessive packaging and opt for local, organic produce. Michel Cuero believes that being a conscious consumer is a powerful way to drive change and support eco-responsible businesses.
6. Plant Trees and Support Green Spaces
Trees are vital for cleaning the air, providing oxygen, and supporting biodiversity. Participate in local tree-planting initiatives or start a garden at home. Green spaces not only benefit the environment but also enhance mental well-being and community health.
7. Educate and Advocate
Spread awareness about environmental issues by educating yourself and others. Use your voice to advocate for policies that promote sustainability and protect natural resources. Michel Cuero often uses his blogging platform to inspire readers to take action and live more sustainably.
Conclusion
Saving the environment begins with individual action. By adopting eco-friendly habits and encouraging others to do the same, we can collectively protect the planet for future generations. Michel Cuero, a dedicated blogger in travel, health, and fitness, believes that every small step counts. Let’s work together to create a cleaner, greener, and more sustainable world.
0 notes
afarazdm · 3 months ago
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The Future Scope of SEO: What to Expect in 2025 and Beyond
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The world of Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is ever-evolving. With rapid advancements in technology, search algorithms, and user behavior, SEO professionals need to stay ahead of the curve to maintain a competitive edge. As we look to the future, SEO will continue to be an integral part of digital marketing strategies. In this blog, we’ll explore the emerging trends and potential shifts that could shape the future of SEO in 2025 and beyond.
1. AI and Machine Learning Will Play a Central Role
In recent years, Artificial Intelligence (AI) and Machine Learning (ML) have already begun influencing SEO, especially with Google’s use of AI-driven algorithms like RankBrain and BERT. In the future, these technologies will become even more central to SEO practices.
AI can process vast amounts of data and optimize search engine results by understanding searcher intent more accurately. Marketers will need to focus on creating content that aligns with AI understanding, particularly in terms of natural language processing (NLP). With machine learning's ability to learn from search patterns, SEO strategies will need to become even more adaptive and data-driven.
What this means for SEO: SEO professionals will need to refine their skills in AI tools and data analysis, and optimize content for conversational search queries. Additionally, understanding how AI interprets content will be key for staying competitive.
2. Voice Search and Conversational AI
Voice search has been steadily gaining traction over the past few years, with the widespread adoption of smart speakers, smartphones, and voice-activated devices. As voice search continues to grow, optimizing for it will become a priority.
People use voice search differently than they type, often asking more natural, conversational questions. This means SEO will need to focus more on long-tail keywords and structured data. Additionally, as voice assistants like Siri, Alexa, and Google Assistant become more sophisticated, ensuring your content is optimized for these platforms will be crucial.
What this means for SEO: A shift from traditional keyword-based SEO to a focus on conversational queries and featured snippets will take place. Marketers will need to use natural language and optimize for question-based content. Structured data markup will also be essential for providing clear answers to voice-based queries.
3. Mobile-First Indexing
Google officially switched to mobile-first indexing in 2019, which means Google primarily uses the mobile version of a site’s content to rank pages. This trend will continue to gain importance as more users shift toward mobile devices for browsing and online shopping.
With the increasing dominance of smartphones, websites that are not mobile-friendly will struggle to rank well in search results. Google’s mobile-first indexing will push even more emphasis on responsive design, faster loading times, and seamless mobile experiences.
What this means for SEO: In the future, mobile optimization will no longer be optional. Websites will need to prioritize mobile usability, ensuring that their mobile version is fully functional, fast, and user-friendly. Mobile-first design will be the standard.
4. E-A-T and Content Quality
Google has been placing a significant emphasis on the quality of content, as seen with the introduction of E-A-T (Expertise, Authoritativeness, Trustworthiness) in its Search Quality Evaluator Guidelines. As more content is created daily, Google’s algorithms will increasingly favor authoritative sources that provide accurate, trustworthy information.
This trend towards prioritizing quality content will only grow stronger. Websites and content creators will need to establish themselves as trusted sources within their niche and prove their expertise. Additionally, creating content that provides value to users rather than just ranking for keywords will be the key to long-term SEO success.
What this means for SEO: Content creation will evolve toward being more research-driven, well-researched, and comprehensive. Building credibility through expert authorship and authoritative backlinks will become increasingly vital for rankings.
5. Video and Visual Search Optimization
Video content is booming, and platforms like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram have made visual content a vital part of the digital landscape. With the rise of visual and video search, optimizing visual content for search engines will become an essential aspect of SEO strategies.
Visual search allows users to search for products or information using images instead of text, and video search engines are becoming more advanced at indexing and ranking video content. Marketers will need to focus on creating optimized, engaging, and informative video content, ensuring it is discoverable via search engines.
What this means for SEO: Optimizing video titles, descriptions, and transcripts for SEO will become crucial, along with implementing image SEO strategies such as alt text and image sitemaps. Investing in high-quality video content and optimizing for visual search platforms will provide a competitive advantage.
6. Search Intent and Semantic Search
Understanding search intent has become increasingly important in SEO, as Google’s algorithms evolve to better understand the context and meaning behind user queries. Semantic search is focused on understanding the relationship between words and how they contribute to the overall meaning of a search.
As search engines continue to improve their ability to understand natural language, SEO strategies will need to shift away from focusing purely on keywords and toward optimizing for user intent. Content will need to be more comprehensive, answering multiple aspects of a query rather than just focusing on the core keyword.
What this means for SEO: SEO strategies will need to emphasize creating content that directly addresses user intent, whether informational, transactional, or navigational. Content that covers topics comprehensively and answers related questions will be prioritized in search rankings.
7. Augmented Reality (AR) and SEO
The rise of augmented reality (AR) in industries like retail, education, and real estate could have implications for SEO. As AR applications allow users to interact with digital elements overlaid onto the physical world, optimizing for AR search experiences will become increasingly important.
For instance, a retailer might want to optimize its AR-based shopping experience so that it appears when users search for products through AR-enabled devices. As AR becomes more mainstream, businesses will need to explore how to integrate SEO with augmented reality experiences.
What this means for SEO: SEO professionals will need to keep an eye on AR technology and explore ways to optimize content for AR-based searches. This may involve enhancing product listings with AR capabilities or integrating AR experiences with search engines.
8. The Growing Importance of Local SEO
As voice search, mobile-first indexing, and personalized search continue to dominate, local SEO will become even more important. Users are increasingly searching for services and businesses near them, making local optimization critical for small and medium-sized businesses.
Google My Business, local reviews, location-based keywords, and local backlinks will play a vital role in local SEO strategies. Ensuring that your website is optimized for local search results will help you stay relevant and visible in your community.
What this means for SEO: Local SEO will become a vital part of most SEO strategies, especially for businesses with a physical presence. Optimizing Google My Business profiles, encouraging local reviews, and targeting local keywords will become necessary for staying competitive in local searches.
Conclusion
The future of SEO is both exciting and challenging. As search engines continue to evolve with the help of AI, machine learning, and new technologies like AR and voice search, SEO professionals will need to adapt and stay informed about emerging trends. A focus on content quality, user intent, mobile optimization, and emerging technologies will be crucial for businesses aiming to maintain visibility in search results.
By anticipating these changes and staying flexible with their strategies, marketers can ensure that their SEO efforts remain relevant and effective well into the future. SEO is no longer just about keywords and backlinks—it’s about creating seamless, meaningful, and engaging experiences for users across a variety of platforms.
The future of SEO is not just about ranking higher in search results; it's about understanding your audience and providing the best possible digital experience
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spark-solution055 · 8 months ago
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Are You Ready to Be a Software Developer? Take the Ultimate Quiz!
Introduction
The world of software development is booming, with job opportunities and career growth on the rise. But becoming a software developer isn't just about learning a few programming languages. It requires a certain mindset, technical know-how, and the ability to tackle complex problems. So, how do you know if you're ready for this journey?
This quiz is designed to help you figure out if you have the right mix of passion, skills, and work habits to thrive as a software developer. Whether you're just starting to dabble in coding or you've been contemplating a career switch, these questions will help you assess your readiness for the path ahead.
Understanding the Basics of Software Development
What Does a Software Developer Do?
Software developers design, code, and maintain applications that run on computers, mobile devices, and even smart appliances. Whether it's developing a mobile app, creating enterprise software, or maintaining a website’s back-end infrastructure, developers are responsible for transforming ideas into functional software. Their daily tasks can include writing code, debugging software, and collaborating with other developers or designers.
Common Programming Languages
Some of the most popular programming languages include Python, Java, and JavaScript. These languages are widely used across different platforms and industries, making them a great starting point for aspiring developers. Each language has its own strengths; for example, Python is known for its simplicity and readability, while Java is highly regarded for its versatility and performance.
The Importance of Problem-Solving Skills
At its core, software development is about problem-solving. Developers need to break down complex issues and come up with efficient solutions, often by writing code. If you enjoy tackling challenges, analyzing systems, and thinking critically, you're already on the right track.
Quiz Part 1: Do You Have the Right Mindset for Software Development?
Question 1: Are You Passionate About Technology?
Software development isn’t just a job; it’s a commitment to staying on top of ever-evolving technology. Passion is what fuels many developers to continue learning and growing, even after facing obstacles or challenges.
Question 2: Do You Enjoy Problem-Solving?
If you're someone who loves puzzles or finding solutions to tough problems, software development will feel like a natural fit. Developers often need to think creatively and logically to solve coding issues.
Question 3: How Do You Handle Frustration?
Coding can be frustrating, especially when a bug refuses to be squashed. Developers need to be resilient, willing to troubleshoot, and ready to spend hours fixing a seemingly tiny issue.
Quiz Part 2: Assessing Your Technical Knowledge
Question 4: Have You Dabbled in Coding?
If you've already played around with coding—whether through a basic course or self-learning—you're already a step ahead. Early exposure to coding is a great way to gauge if it's something you truly enjoy.
Question 5: Are You Comfortable Learning New Languages?
Software development involves learning and mastering various programming languages. If you're open to continuously learning new technologies, you'll be more adaptable as the industry evolves.
Question 6: Do You Understand Basic Algorithms?
Understanding how algorithms work is crucial for efficient coding. Algorithms help developers write programs that can process data and perform complex calculations quickly and efficiently.
Quiz Part 3: Work Style and Collaboration in Software Development
Question 7: Can You Work Well in Teams?
Software development often involves collaboration. If you can work well with others, including designers, project managers, and fellow developers, you'll find it easier to thrive in team-based projects.
Question 8: Are You Self-Disciplined and Self-Motivated?
While collaboration is essential, developers also need the discipline to work independently. Self-motivation is crucial when debugging code or managing long-term projects.
Question 9: How Do You Handle Feedback?
In software development, feedback is vital. Whether it's from a code review or a project manager, being able to accept and apply constructive criticism is key to improving your skills.
Quiz Part 4: Do You Have the Patience for Long-Term Projects?
Question 10: Are You Comfortable with Delayed Gratification?
Software projects can take weeks, months, or even years to complete. If you're the kind of person who can wait for long-term rewards and stay motivated throughout the process, you'll handle the life of a developer well.
Question 11: Do You Thrive on Continuous Improvement?
The software world is constantly evolving. Developers must be comfortable with continuously refining their work and learning new skills to stay relevant.
Analyzing Your Quiz Results: What Do They Mean?
Scoring Your Results
Now that you've answered all the questions, it's time to analyze your results! Here's how you can interpret your responses:
If you answered "Yes" to 8-11 questions: Congratulations! You're highly likely to succeed as a software developer. You have the right mindset, skills, and work habits needed to thrive in this career. If you're not already coding, now's the perfect time to dive in!
If you answered "Yes" to 5-7 questions: You're well on your way, but there are a few areas you might want to focus on improving. Perhaps it's building your technical skills or developing the patience needed for long-term projects. With a little extra effort, you'll be ready to start your developer journey.
If you answered "Yes" to 4 or fewer questions: You might need to spend some time considering if software development is the right path for you. It's important to love both the process and the challenges. However, don't be discouraged! You can always work on building your skills and mindset over time.
How to Improve Your Software Development Skills
If you're excited about becoming a software developer but feel you need to improve certain areas, don’t worry! There are plenty of ways to boost your readiness.
Developing a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is all about believing that you can improve your abilities with effort and persistence. In software development, this means embracing failure as a learning opportunity, staying curious, and always looking for ways to grow. Whether you’re facing a bug in your code or struggling with a new concept, remind yourself that learning is part of the process.
Free and Paid Resources to Learn Programming
There are countless resources to help you learn coding, whether you want to dip your toes in with free tutorials or invest in a more structured learning experience. Some popular options include:
Free Resources: Codecademy, freeCodeCamp, and YouTube tutorials.
Paid Courses: Udemy, Coursera, and coding bootcamps like General Assembly or Le Wagon.
Books: Titles like "Eloquent JavaScript," "Clean Code," and "Python Crash Course" are great for deeper learning.
Building Real-World Projects
The best way to learn coding is by doing. Start building small projects, like a personal blog or a simple game, to apply what you’ve learned. Over time, you can tackle more complex applications. These projects will not only boost your confidence but also serve as a portfolio when applying for jobs.
Essential Tools Every Aspiring Developer Should Know
To succeed as a software developer, you'll need to get familiar with a few essential tools. Mastering these will make your workflow smoother and more efficient.
Integrated Development Environments (IDEs)
An IDE is where you write your code. Some popular IDEs include Visual Studio Code, IntelliJ IDEA, and PyCharm. These environments come with features like syntax highlighting, debugging tools, and extensions that help speed up coding and reduce errors.
Version Control with Git and GitHub
Version control allows developers to manage changes in their code and collaborate with others without fear of losing work. Git is the most commonly used version control system, and GitHub is a platform where developers can host their repositories and collaborate on projects. Learning Git and GitHub is essential for working in teams or contributing to open-source projects.
Debugging Tools
No developer writes perfect code on the first try. Debugging is an essential part of the development process. Tools like Chrome DevTools, PyCharm's debugger, and Visual Studio Code’s debugging features will help you identify and fix errors in your code more efficiently.
Career Pathways in Software Development
Once you’ve honed your skills and feel confident in your development abilities, you’ll have various career paths to explore. Let’s take a quick look at some of the common roles within the industry.
Front-End Developer
Front-end developers focus on the user-facing parts of websites and applications. They use technologies like HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to build visually appealing and responsive designs that users interact with. If you love creating smooth, intuitive user experiences, front-end development might be the right path for you.
Back-End Developer
Back-end developers handle the server side of web applications. They work with databases, server logic, and APIs to ensure that everything runs smoothly behind the scenes. Common languages for back-end development include Python, Java, Ruby, and PHP.
Full-Stack Developer
A full-stack developer is skilled in both front-end and back-end development. This role requires a well-rounded knowledge of multiple programming languages, frameworks, and tools. Full-stack developers are often involved in the entire process of creating an application, from design to deployment.
How to Stay Motivated on Your Path to Becoming a Developer
Learning to code and becoming proficient can take time, and it's important to stay motivated throughout the journey. Here are a few tips to help you keep going, even when things get tough.
Setting Long-Term and Short-Term Goals
Break down your learning into smaller, achievable goals. Instead of aiming to "master JavaScript," focus on more tangible milestones, like building a specific feature or completing a course module. Celebrate these wins along the way to stay motivated.
Staying Engaged with the Developer Community
One of the best ways to stay motivated is to surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Join online forums like Stack Overflow, Reddit, or Discord groups where developers share knowledge and help each other out. Attending local or virtual meetups, hackathons, or developer conferences can also inspire you and help build a support network.
Conclusion
So, are you ready to be a software developer? After taking this quiz, you should have a clearer sense of whether you have the passion, mindset, and technical abilities needed to succeed in this fast-paced and rewarding field. Whether you scored highly or see areas for improvement, remember that software development is a journey. With the right resources, motivation, and a willingness to keep learning, you can definitely make it as a developer.
Take the time to develop your skills, build projects, and immerse yourself in the developer community. If you’re determined, you’ll find the path to becoming a software developer not only achievable but also incredibly fulfilling.
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brainerhub · 10 months ago
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How does Xamarin Mobile App Development Effectively Reduce Cost?
Xamarin Mobile App Development
Developing a mobile apps to meet ever-increasing expectations in today's fast-paced technological environment requires the use of the right tools and a methodical approach. Businesses are also worried about mobile apps' longer development cycles than those of traditional online applications.
One such development platform that can provide you a competitive edge in creating, testing, and releasing mobile apps for Windows, iOS, and Android is called Xamarin.
Shared Code
As you may already be aware, mobile apps function best when they are designed with a specific device in mind. Xamarin efficiently gathers the code written for an application specific to one kind of device. This makes it possible to repurpose it for developing an app version compatible with various device types.
Consequently, mobile app developers can avoid wasting time and effort developing two separate apps from scratch, one for one platform and one for another, by using Xamarin. The development process can be greatly shortened by sharing code, which lowers expenses!
Reduced Costs
Should companies insist on developing mobile apps using the traditional native method, they will need three different kinds of developers: one with expertise in Objective C for Apple apps, two with expertise in Java for Android apps, and three with expertise in C# for Windows apps. As you can imagine, a developer may find it challenging to switch between all of these languages.
Furthermore, the number of skilled developers needed for each app separately will be significantly reduced as more businesses assign teams to work on particular Mobile app development platforms through Xamarin app development.
Full-Featured Package
To use Xamarin, one only needs to be conversant with C#. With Xamarin Studio, developers can create apps for multiple platforms without having to switch between multiple Integrated Development Environments (IDES) because it comes with all the Software Developer Kits (SDK) required.
Your mobile app should usually result in increased user engagement or a strong return on investment.
To get the best results, you must make sure your app is of the highest calibre before it goes live. In this situation, quality analysis and testing are essential. The Xamarin Test Cloud powers your app's functionality by automatically testing it across a wide range of devices. This will lead to the delivery of a superior product at the conclusion of the development process.
After the app is released, you can use Xamarin Insights to monitor and examine usage and performance patterns that reveal trends and sound the alarms about unplanned crashes, as well as how users interact with your apps. With the use of these exact statistics, users can monitor patterns of behaviour from previous iterations of the mobile app and use the insights to create customised, new versions.
Xamarin mobile app development can significantly reduce costs for businesses and developers in several key ways:
Single Codebase for Multiple Platforms:
Using Xamarin, developers can write a single C# codebase and share it on Windows, iOS, and Android platforms. This saves time and effort during development by removing the need to create and manage distinct codebases for every platform.
Reduced Development Time:
Developers can use shared libraries and code with Xamarin, which expedites the development process. By using a single codebase, projects can be completed more quickly because fewer lines of code need to be written, tested, and maintained.
Lower Maintenance Costs:
It is less expensive to maintain one codebase than it is to maintain separate codebases for various platforms. Reducing the resources required for continuous maintenance, bug fixes, updates, and feature additions can be applied once and propagated across all platforms.
Access to Native APIs and Features:
With Xamarin, developers can create high-performance apps that have a native look and feel by having complete access to native APIs and features. As a result, integrating native features becomes simpler and less expensive, and platform-specific developers are no longer required.
Component Store and Libraries:
Through the Xamarin Component Store and NuGet packages, Xamarin provides a rich ecosystem of pre-built components and libraries. Common functionalities can be swiftly integrated by developers, saving time and money by eliminating the need to create everything from scratch.
Conclusion
Xamarin is among the least hazardous cross-platform or native development tools that can be chosen by any company. There are mobile apps available for iOS, Windows, and Android from the manufacturing, food, logistics, media, automotive, entertainment, and other industrial sectors. It is utilised by any well-known Xamarin App Development Company to maximise its field-mobility operations in real-time. In order to quickly enter the app market, businesses are selecting Xamarin to go mobile and strategically manage their mobile app development.
Do you have any reservations about Xamarin being the best cross-platform mobile app development framework for your needs? To help you make the best choice possible, Fullestop is available. If your company is looking for a Mobile Application Development Companies in india , get in touch with us right now!
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derocatem · 1 year ago
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- WRITING -
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⋆˚࿔ i will create and post different kind of fan fiction here, they will range from light hearted and soft themes to one’s more dark, horrific and taboo. my work is not be suitable for children nor do i wish for one to read my work. i won’t debate anyone on this matter. my dark content posts will be tagged accordingly with “tw. dark content ahead!” at the start of the post, put mdni divider if post is longer and put tw and cw in posts tagsin longer posts, please fillter out uncomfortable tags and if it happens that i don’t post anything suitable to your taste here then i recommend you to simply block me and continue on :)
⋆˚࿔ i will crosspost my writings on ao3 also, only longer ones ( one shots and longer scenarios and imagines ) in respective franchises works while smaller one’s won’t be posted there ( such as one sentence ideas, headcanons, drabbles, ect. )
⋆˚࿔ since 2024, i have decided not to take requests anymore and start accepting suggestions and thrists, to add i don’t feel obligated to write your ideas. i will discard it without notice, it can be because i’m uncertain about the idea or is lacking inspiration and how much i can think about it.
⋆˚࿔ please don’t rush or pressure me write, i write when i have time, energy and motivation for it. don’t ask for part 2’s and to mention here, there is no consistent posting schedule either because of my schedule with school and health stuff.
⋆˚࿔ positive feedback is welcomed, don’t give any “constructive criticism” unless i asked for it in the post or we are already mutuals ( because again, remember i’m not a professional writer and this is my hobby )
⋆˚࿔ no beta, we die like my dad over here 🫡
⋆˚࿔ I’m an “chubby/plus sized reader x character” writer since there is lack of such reader type in fan fictions so i will write what i want to see. i might not mention it but it is a default type when i write ( if not stated otherwise ).
⋆˚࿔ when i write, my reader can vary from sub, switch or dom, top or bottom and afab, amab, genderless or intersex, there isn’t dynamic set in place and it will change depending on what i’m writing ( same goes for characters ).
⋆˚࿔ i age up every character to be around 20/21 years old when i write or even older.
⋆˚࿔ character writings will be under the “bambi ᝰ” tag.
⋆˚࿔ i claim user @/derocatem on ao3 and tumblr, if you see this username on any other platform, it is not me !!
for what franchises i will write for:
⋆˚࿔ animanga: bleach, blue lock, bungo stray dogs, gokurakugai, demon slayer, jujutsu kaisen, my hero academia and record of ragnarok
⋆˚࿔ games: obey me!, honkai star rail, genshin impact and zenless zone zero
⋆˚࿔ monsters/unnatural beings: beasts, demons, dragons, robots, tentacles, titans, vampires…
⋆˚࿔ note: i don’t play obey me anymore and i haven’t ever played genshin ( sob in phone player )
⋆˚࿔ things i will write (18+):
⋆˚࿔ (if you aren't sure about your suggestion and i didn’t write it down here if i’m comfortable or not, just ask in dm or send ask ^^ there's no harm in checking first lol)
⋆˚࿔ yes:
⋆˚࿔ taboo themes (non-con, dub-con, cnc, black mail, drugged/alcoholic state, incest, step-cest, baby trapping, age gaps, exhibitionism, voyeurism…you get the point), manhandling, size difference, breeding, virginity, pregnancy and lactation (in sexy and not realistic way), yandare, character × reader × character (poly and threesomes)…
⋆˚࿔ 50/50:
⋆˚࿔: humiliation, cheating, any form of self-mutilation, verbal or physical abuse, bullying, suicide/death… ( might add more in the future! )
⋆˚࿔ no:
⋆˚࿔ age play, race play, scat, diaper fetishes, anything with feet, shoe licking, vore, cbt, wound fucking… ( might add more in the future! )
- if any are requested, they will be deleted.
⋆˚࿔ note: me myself can get triggered by dark content if i see it when i’m not mentally prepared (even with themes that i’m okay with writing) since i personally experienced some unpleasant experiences when i was younger, i don’t care what you are into but they not my cup of tea!
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© derocatem / do not repost.
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alexinyell0w · 3 years ago
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IM BREAKING MY SILENCE AND TALKING ABOUT WHITEBOARD GATE AND BYLER
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ok so hear me out right now. it's something I've noticed in all the seasons and I wondered about it while watching the show in one sitting. it seems the main couple (mileven) always reunite or get/come back together in THE LAST EPISODE.
"ok yeah duh, clown. that's how writing works." you're not listening. there's more it's so obvious.
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their first kiss. THE LAST EPISODE RIGHT
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I'm still talking. THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE THEY REUNITE KISSING IN EPISODE 9 AND ACTUALLY GETTING BACK TOGETHER
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the I love yous
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the I love yous pt 2 electric boogaloo.
now, ofc that's just a trick of writing but when you're a writer and you do something a certain way MULTIPLE TIMES it's important for the GA (assuming it means general audience I don't actually know) to gather and realize these time points.
also as a writer you DEFINITELY know what you're doing with color theory with Mike and will so recognize this and move on. blue yellow green yeah we've been over this already.
now let's take a look to the future.
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the god damned white board. the soul baine of my existence. taking a look (I'm not adding anymore pictures go figure PLEASE) the bottom right. episode 7. green lettering. we've been over this am I repeating myself?
YES. continuing. this was a larger thought in my head but we must now realize that at the end of season 5 we will probably see SOME couple get together. this couple BEING not mileven but maybe switching it up and putting will in place. (or a place of death either or) the writers know they used green and i can't see in their heads (matt and Ross im coming for you im slowly approaching your exact location on the global map) there's color coding reasons and only they would want to be petty and color code it. if it was mileven wouldn't you think it would be purple?
noting that we can have platonic byler and platonic mileven I'll be the devils advocate here. IF green is byler (and that's not a big if) why in the world would they be keeping Mike and will SEPERATE (seemingly) for like 3 episodes in a row? leading us to a different conversation of WHERE ARE THEY?? if it's platonic WHY were they separated or had little to no IMPORTANT moments together?? excellent question im ever so relieved you asked. go figure.
purple is in a lot of places LETS GO FIGURE mileven will have some romantic moments. maybe. maybe not. Mike didn't exactly throw in his apologies as much as we wouldn't wanted him to. he just said "I love you" and we're expected to forgive him. well not expected but Mike expects el somehow to do so. but than again, not really as he believes they can't come back from it, meaning he knew what he said was a dick thing to say.
we can assume we'll get some important mileven moments whether they be platonic or romantic or even a fight or a confrontation considering the red and blue =purple color rule. I personally think purple is 11s color tho SO if that is the case pertaining to colors WELL GET TO SEE SOME BAD ASS JANE/ELEVEN MOMENTS AND WHEN I TELL YOU IM HERE FOR IT YOU HAVE NO IDEA. so either way it works out OBVIOUSLY it will all advance to the plot. this is all a large hypothetical tho.
with the common usage of green in the end we can infer that something big happens with byler pertaining to the- large black dot in the middle of the board. thank you duffers.
disclaimer not saying BY ANY MEANS that any of these colors are actually important IM POINTING OUT things I've noticed and happily sharing them on a silly little public platform in hopes that I'm making sense here. does that make sense? anyway ok I'm done thank you
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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago
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Accelerate [Dana’s 600 Special]
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Track: Feel It by Michele Morrone / Drunk-Dazed by ENHYPHEN / Insanity by THE BOYZ
Member: I swear he’s not even my bias
Genre: i-ion know-
Word Count: it’s pretty damn long so please don’t make me write a part two
Taglist: @hyunjaethereal​ @lsangyeons​
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The first time you laid eyes on Lee Hyunjae, you were both in Italy as he was being blinded by a billion flashes in his face. The light reflects off his dark hair - which was once a brighter color - as he maintains that polite, miniscule smile on his face. Most of the photographers and interviewers were male, for the sole reason that female photographers and interviewers would be too stunned to continue at their job. 
Not that the males rushing to get a shot of his face or a string of words out from him now weren’t stunned themselves. 
Despite being hailed for looking like every woman’s wet dream, Lee Hyunjae was more known for being South Korea’s youngest first class F1 racer. Sure, if he ever bothered to utter a single syllable of speech to you, you could pass out on the spot. 
But right now, all you wanted was to get an exclusive modelling contract from Louis Vuitton to his manager. Not Lee Hyunjae, not his bodyguards, his manager.
“Lee Hyunjae! Do you have anything you want to say before your final race of the season? How do you feel about being so close to coming out top?”
His manager stands a step behind him to Hyunjae’s right, and gives the racer the green light to respond. The flashes and sounds of clicking from the cameras were so overwhelming, it’s impossible for you to even imagine how it felt like being in the spotlight.
But the celebrity couldn’t receive the question any less gracefully, and offers one of those swoon-worthy smiles before leaning into the microphone.
“I feel nervous but I’ve prepared for this. Consistency is key and I believe in myself, so if that answers your question...” 
“Do you have any other plan other than racing? Word has it that you’ve received offers to be the face of Gucci and Louis Vuitton!”
The contract in your briefcase is still ironed out safely in its file when you pull it behind your legs, away from plain sight.
Hyunjae turns to look at his manager when the question posed obviously isn’t one of those in the list prepared, so the manager steps forward, and coincidentally spots you at the back of the crowd. He recognises you from the meeting he had with your higher-up.
“My apologies but Mr Lee isn’t permitted to answer to any of these, so if this is all then we must be going. Thank you for coming to the conference tonight.” 
Lee Hyunjae and his manager step back away from the microphone and bow for the press to continue their aggressive, merciless snapshotting. You wait patiently for the duo to disappear behind the conference area, and for the press to switch their attention to the pictures they have on their camera before you make your round backstage. 
The 5-star hotel is grand in all the ways possible: chandelier, white wines and champagnes being served in waiting areas and water was served sparkling. Finally fishing out the tag that you were given at the registration for entry to the event, you hand it to the lady at the meetings’ conference registration counter.
You wonder how the Louis Vuitton logos on your clothes and briefcase had gone unnoticed earlier at the showcase. Even on the tag, the ‘LV’ logo was so apparent. How far does the company need to go in order for them to have the logo printed in some shiny, golden print on the tag-
“Welcome to the F1 internal press conference and meeting, Miss l/n!” She pulls a sticker off a page and presses it onto the tag below the LV logo. “If you need anything at all, please just approach one of our staffs. All waiters and staff concerned will have a red tie tonight.”
“Alright, thank you,” The tag gets slid across the table to you. “Where’s the nearest washroom?”
“Oh, she’ll show you the way,” The lady gestures behind her for one of the staff members with a red tie to accompany you. 
“Oh-” Slightly taken aback by the aggressive escorting, the younger female grins at you before holding out her arm in the direction of the washroom. “Thanks.”
The hotel’s grandeur only gets more and more apparent as your heels click through the hallways and corridors. For an event night, the hotel’s pretty desolate. Then again, the press conference happened outside where all the photographers and journalists were. The one you were here for was an internal press meeting, and last you checked, there were fewer than 10 names on that list. 
“I can find my way back to the main hall after,” The slight panic in your voice humors you when the staff member seemed ready to wait outside the washroom. “Thanks.”
She bows and takes her leave only after you enter the bathroom; you can tell from the sound of her shoes echoing down the corridor. The scent of lavender is so overwhelming, you could almost taste it. Walls of cream and silver strokes cut through the tiles, a vase made of bronze sits in the corner of the platform where the sinks were, filled with roses.
The crisp reflection of yourself stares down at you in the mirror; it’s one of the few times you were dressed in branded goods head to toe. None of the articles of clothing you were wearing right now, you owned. Usually, you’d be gaping in awe at how beautiful these places where - after all, you were in a five-star hotel in Italy. 
But no, after almost five years of working with Louis Vuitton as a brand ambassador and subsequently becoming an assistant model-scout has numbed your habit of wandering eyes. 
The LV briefcase gets set on a dry area of marble, your fingers automatically clutching the edges of the sink as the jewelry on your ears, neck and hands twinkle under the fluorescent lighting. The makeup looks close to perfect - because someone had done it for you. Your clothes and shoes fit right down to your skin - because they were tailored for you. 
You were more upset you couldn’t sell it off and donate the money over having actual ownership of these fabrics. 
News of the orphanage had reached you hours after you touched down in Italy, and your heart yearns to stop the ache that seeps through you. They had run out of funds to continue the orphanage, the kids already enrolled would be split and sent to other organizations instead. 
What you had once called your home was going to be non-existent in another years’ time. Those whom you called your teachers, mentors, parents... were going to be in places you were not familiar with. The children that you always bring back food, clothes and toys for were going to be separated into different cities and states. As if not having a family was not bad enough, the people you now called your family was going to be split apart. 
You hadn’t noticed your eyes were closed until you opened them, the weight of the makeup on your face urging you to rub your eyes and skin but the discipline written into your hands stop you from doing so. 
Standing back to fix your posture, your eyes land on the one garnish on your body that doesn’t belong to Louis Vuitton - the ring on your middle finger. A gold band that looked more like a wedding ring than anything else. 
It had the name of the orphanage engraved on the inner side, so it feels lighter on your hands than it would otherwise be. 
A deep breath expands your chest as you take your briefcase and step away from the sink, attention scrutinising yourself more than you actually would.
The corridors of the hotel collect you back into its wealth again, drawing the thickest line between the realities of people like you and those who enjoy the luxurious life. 
The racer’s manager was sitting at the end of the meeting table when you enter, and you immediately recognise half the list of names you had seen before. Gucci’s manager was here personally. Another racer and his manager were here too. Stefano Domenicali and Michael Masi were here. 
Why were they here? Their names weren’t on the list.
“Ah, Miss l/n!” Masi gets off his seat and holds out his hand. “Such a pleasure to meet you!”
“Honor on my part,” Reaching out a palm, you smile the most graceful smile you can find in the muscles of your face. 
“Can I get you a drink? We’re still waiting for Mr Lee before we begin our discussion on the collaboration.”
Collaboration?
“Pardon my ignorance but... I thought I was here for a sponsorship or a model-contract request for Mr Lee... I wasn’t expecting your attendance or... a collaboration.”
Domenicalli chuckles heartily at his seat as he whirls around to gesture to one of the staff members in the room. “Will you get her a Mojito?” 
Then he stands up and pushes his glasses up his nose bridge. “We’ve been looking for a company that’s willing to do a three-way partnership with us and Mr Lee’s agency. Right now, it’s boiled down to both Louis Vuitton and Gucci so... it depends on which contract Mr Lee’s agency is more interested in.”
“Oh... Um, if that’s the case then I’m not entirely sure if the contract I have with me right now is appropriate-”
“Oh, it’s not. LV has already told us you’d sell them better unscripted than if planned,” Masi leans forward and mutters away from your ear. “Don’t tell Gucci though. Their manager’s only here because they panicked.”
He pulls away and before he can say anything else, the door clicks open with a staff member pushing the door open for the star of the night. 
“My apologies,” He’s changed out of his formal suit and is in a more comfortable set of hoodie and baggy pants now. “Did I keep everybody waiting?”
“No, not at all!” Masi throws his hands up into the air and beckons you to meet Lee Hyunjae. “Might I introduce... Miss l/n from LV. She’ll be the one pitching the collaboration for LV today.”
Hyunjae’s eyes are wide and clear, despite his fringe covering his eyelids. “My pleasure,” He holds out his hand and you take it to shake, but he doesn’t stop there.
Lifting the back of your hand to his lips, the contact is soft and gentle on your skin. 
Your hairs stand against your will and goosebumps erupt all over your neck when he pulls away, eyes now locked with yours. Nobody else in the room bothers to provide a reaction - it’s like he’s done this before and it’s perfectly normal. 
The rest of the evening is spent listening to your own pitch, and Gucci’s, but you couldn’t really keep your head in the game when... all that was in Lee Hyunjae’s head was... you.
You’d be lying had you said you were comfortable with how much he was glancing at you across the table, obviously not listening to Gucci’s pitch at all. His manager was the one busy jotting down all kinds of things, almost like it was an act of dictation. But the racer’s eyes fail to leave you for any longer than five seconds, and it was becoming glaringly obvious that he wasn’t really paying attention to the pitch. 
Gucci’s pitch finally finishes, giving you some kind of escape because now his manager is pummeling him for not listening to the benefits provided as Gucci’s ambassador. The contract document from LV was sitting before you, very single term and condition now inapplicable because you had just pitched something that wasn’t in the instruction manual.
God help me not to get fired.
“Mr Lee has some to a decision,” Masi claps his hands together, earning the attention of everybody in the room. “The Formula One federation would like to officially welcome Lee Hyunjae as the brand ambassador in a stellar collaboration... with Gucci.”
The Gucci ambassador scout smiles with triumph as the room provides a round of applause, you included. 
“Thank you so much, Miss l/n, for coming down. Your pitch was nothing short of commendable and I will make sure your manager will hear of that, alright?” Masi and Domenicali take turns shaking your hand. In your peripheral vision, you watch the Gucci ambassador shake hands with both Lee Hyunjae and his manager. 
Masi and Domenicali finish up with you, and Lee Hyunjae’s manager approaches you for the handshake with his client behind him. “That was a stellar... impromptu pitch, Miss l/n.”
A gentle chuckle rolls off your tongue as you pull your hand away, tightly clutching the briefcase. “I work better when things aren’t planned, so...”
“We’ll... we’ll keep in touch, LV. You’re an excellent scout with marvelous presentation skills. It makes me sad Mr Lee didn’t choose you.”
Your eyes drift to Hyunjae’s and he’s already looking at you like he hadn’t eaten in three days and you were a bowl of soup.
“Of course we’ll keep in touch. He���ll still be valuable asset and ambassador after his contract with Gucci ends,” Ignoring him, you return your attention to his manager. 
“Now, let’s hope the Prince of Korea doesn’t screw anything up, yeah?” His manager grins as he pats Hyunjae on the back. “Anyway, it’s been a mighty pleasure. We’ll be in touch.”
You lower your head as a small nod, turning on your heels to exit the room. Even then you can feel his eyes on your back. 
By the time you’re back in your hotel room (which was in the same hotel as you had the internal meeting), your feet are half dead from the heels you were wearing and the makeup on your face was starting to wear off. It took a nice, warm bath and a rather long conversation with your own manager on the phone as he congratulated on pulling through an impromptu pitch. 
He finally finishes, and you drop your phone into the towel by the bathtub as the steam fogs up the mirror. But your peace is cut short when someone rings the doorbell of your room. 
“Room service for Miss l/n!”
Tightening the robe around your waist, you pull open the door and watch the hotel staff hold out a bottle of wine and an envelop. “Mr Lee Hyunjae sends his regards, Miss.”
Surprised, you receive the bottle. The hotel staff bows and leaves, letting you turn around and the door click shut. 
To: Miss l/n
I apologise for the inappropriate staring earlier this evening. This is an attempt to compensate for my behaviour. I’ll be leaving Italy the day after tomorrow so if you could do me the pleasure of having dinner with me tomorrow... I’d like to be acquainted.
I’ve made a reservation at La Terrazza for 7pm. I’ll meet you in the guest lobby downstairs at 6.30 to pick you up. 
Love, 
Lee Hyunjae
You can see how the material of the paper trembles a little between your fingers. The thought runs, So he’s a creep and a national treasure. He can’t hurt you, right?
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Again, the evening gown is more than fitting on you. It’s been tailored to hug all your curves at your chest and your hips and thighs and it exposes your leg where the slit is. It’s like LV knew you had an important evening appointment coming up and had you pack all these different sets appropriate for the event. 
The usher standing by the guest lobby nods when you head for the door, and he pushes it open to reveal only one person in it: Lee Hyunjae. 
On the phone, he whirls around when he hears the doors swish against the carpet flooring. His eyes are glimmering under the soft, rosy lighting and the glossy collar of his suit looks like plastic from the reflection. 
“I gotta go, I’ll call you back.”
The phone clicks to black before he opens his blazer and slides it into his inner breast pocket. 
“I’m gonna guess that’s your manager,” Your fingers wrap around the clutch tightly as he takes a few steps toward you, obviously very stunned by how different you looked compared from the previous day. 
“Uh, no, actually,” That million-dollar smile gleams at you. He reaches up to his forehead and scratches his brow. His hair is styled upwards so seeing the glory of his forehead was pretty enticing. “My mom. Making sure I’m doing well and fine here.”
He stops a safe distance away from you, finished with taking in whatever of you his eyes and memory can allow him. “Not gonna lie, I thought you were gonna stand me up.”
“I think LV would fire me if they knew I stood the Lee Hyunjae up.”
Hyunjae licks his lips then purses them together, attention finally peeling off your face as he reaches for your hand. He presses his lips into the back of your palm, then casually hooks your arm around his while he walks to your side. “Ready to go?”
At a loss of words for his flirtatious mannerism, all you can afford is a nod.
But as if your vocabulary bank wasn’t already exhausted, you can’t help but stare in complete astonishment when you are led to the matte black Sian Roadster already waiting at the drop-off point right outside the lobby. 
“Have them send the Dior package to Miss l/n’s room by 9pm,” He instructs the bell boy by the hotel entrance as he reaches for the vehicle door. 
“Wait, what?” 
“Yes, Mr Lee.”
“Thanks.”
“Wait a minute,” Your vision is finally peeled off the car when Lee Hyunjae pulls the door open. “What Dior package?”
“Just a token of appreciation from me, that’s all,” He releases your arm as he guides you into the vehicle. “I knew if I gave it to you over dinner, you’d reject, so...”
Twitching his eyebrow, he smirks and retreats, closing the car door. 
Flirt.
The vehicle moves off with a sharp rev of the engine, and you almost feel guilty for being able to be comfortable in in your clothes, shoes, sports car and on the way to a fancy-ass restaurant. 
If only things could be like that for everybody and everything. 
“So, when are you leaving Italy?”
“Oh, um... tomorrow too actually,” Rome’s lights are wondrous on the outside, some of them blinding you. “I have... something to attend.”
“Hmm, that’s... vague.”
You turn to eye him at his silent call for clarification. “I’m attending a closing event; help out with administrations.”
“Like... a pet store or something?”
“Yeah, ‘or something’.”
“That confidential, huh?” He lets out a soft chuckle. 
The gut in your abdomen tells you not to look at him. He’ll see right through you, figure out that there’s something more to it than something ‘confidential’. 
“Yeah,” You mask it with a sigh. “Funds and things.”
You can feel his attention sink into your back as silence befell the atmosphere. 
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There’s a kind of light in his eyes when he talks about racing. When he’s describing the feeling of adrenaline in his fingers, gripped around the steering wheel. He’s unexpectedly kind to the service at the restaurant, then again he was a celebrity and he had a reputation to uphold. 
It’s the kind of light that made you panic throughout dinner, because there’s no way this specimen of a man would ever pay you a second thought. Maybe you were going to be his Italy fling that he would boast about to his friends and colleagues and they’d laugh at you without you even knowing. 
What was a rich, handsome racer even doing, single? It was too good to be true, and even if it was, you? Of all people?
Dream on.
“It’s been... an amazing night. Thank you so much for dinner.”
Lee Hyunjae walks you into the lift, letting you press the button to your floor first. 
“I’ll walk you back. I have time.”
Standing with your feet together, in the safety of your gown, your hands are holding your clutch like your life depended on it. You could tell that he wasn’t the most comfortable now, not with his hands over one another and placed politely on his abdomen.
When the lift door dings open, the silence remains. He trails behind you as you walk your way to your room, hands fumbling through your clutch to search for your keycard. The slick of the door is fast and you push the door open, with a black and silver box with the label ‘DIOR’ printed on it sitting at the foot of your bed. 
“Oh, my God!” You rush in and grab the box, eyes widening as you turn to him, who has one arm extended to keep the door open. The box was almost as big as a pillow.
There’s a soft, warm smile on his face. A stark contrast to all his flirty ministrations throughout the evening. “Goodnight, Miss l/n. Sleep well and have a safe flight.”
“Wha-” Then he lowers his head, and turns around. “Wait!”
Without another moment of hesitation, he disappears down the corridor and the door swings shut. 
It feels ironically empty. Your hands are carrying this Godforsaken box of a gift and yet you cannot think of a way to properly thank the person who gave it to you. With slight reluctance, your fingers find the edge of the cover.
It’s a beautiful Dior blazer, packaged with a perfume and a cosmetics set. The cream letter in it is handwritten and signed the racer himself.
I wish we had more time. Love,  Lee Hyunjae
The nauseating sensation of your heart sinking in your chest beats all the logic in your brain when you find yourself reaching for the door handle. The box is mindlessly thrown back onto the bed as you rush out, kicking off your heels in the moment of folly. (Of course, remembering to use the door latch to keep the door open.)
“Hyunjae!” You call down the corridor, and he was just about to enter the lift. He turns, providing you with a gorgeous view of his jaw. 
It feels like a fairytale, when you run down the carpeted corridor, barefooted and still in your gown. The urge to throw your arms around him far supercedes your brain yelling at you not to, but you do it anyway. 
He catches you by the waist as your rest your forehead in his blazer, arms already struggling to meet the height of his shoulders. 
A whisper. “I wish we had more time too.”
He pushes you back by your upper arms, tucking one bit of your hair behind your ear. “If time is what you want, then I’ll make time.”
“But... I- Will you get in trouble?”
He looks you dead in the eye and subtly shakes his head. 
Time stops. 
Fear. That’s what you’re feeling. 
Then he tilts his head and slowly leans in. 
“I don’t think I’d care if I do.”
His breath hits your upper lip and your instincts flutter your lids shut. 
White wine and strawberries from dinner. That’s what he tastes like.
Warmth radiates off his palms and into your cheeks as he holds your face close to his, unable to resist the satisfaction and sweetness you were providing him. In this moment of intimacy, he loses all sense of realism and urgency - all he wants is you to himself, for the rest of the night until the sun rises. 
Then he’d have to worry about never seeing you again because his manager had chosen Gucci over LV. 
But right now, he has your heart and soul in his hands, as does his in yours. 
Being the romantic and (probably) egoistic man of a celebrity he is, he lowers himself and slides his arms where the back of your knees would be, somehow never breaking the kiss. The material of the gown dribbles over the cotton of his suit and your arm circles behind his neck, only minimizing the distance between the two of you. 
It feels like you’re getting married in this black and gold sparkly evening gown when he pushes the door open with his back. The scent of the room is inviting, but definitely none in comparison to the scent of his cologne beginning to stain your hands and your clothes. 
Gently resting you into the cool sheets of the bed, he pulls away to remove the Dior package off the bed, placing it on the mini coffee table by the bed. 
You were never one to deal with one night stands. Hell, the only person you’d ever slept with was some stupid kid back in the orphanage when your stupid teenage hormones were running-
He pulls off his blazer and leans in again, picking your awkward hands and resting them on the knot of his tie. His fingers are grazing the skin on your upper arm, trailing down to your cheek and then your hairline where he combs his hands through your hair. 
The knot on the tie comes undone with some slight tugs, and you slide it out from under his collar. Undoing only the first one, you rest your palms against his chest, creating a small rift where the air rushes to your lips where his should be.
He’s slightly stunned at the slightest breakage, but he is overwhelmed with more care and concern than he was upset. “Why? What’s wrong?” He traces your jaw and rests his fingers on your chin, noses almost touching.
“Are you sure... You want to do this? I can’t risk you losing your career,” Your index finger traces the likes of his cheekbone. “You barely just started.”
Hyunjae shakes his head subtly, taking your hands to his lips and pressing them into the back of your palm. “When I saw you in that room, I was... star struck. You’d think being the celebrity in the room would mean everything, but I felt like I was nothing if I didn’t know you, much less be able to get close to you.”
And for someone who hasn’t really had a biological family to love, his words stuck. 
“I just... knew. There are some things in the world you can work for, but I don’t think any amount of effort can give me you.”
His brown orbs find your gaze and it melts you thoroughly. Like ice cream on a hot day; like the way the ocean washes against the sand by the beach, taking grains of sand away with it - the same way Hyunjae was winning you bit by bit, if not already all of you. 
Your hands find his collar again, and it tightens around the stiff material to pull him back down. He smiles into the kiss, hands pressing into the mattress by your hair while you undo the rest of his buttons. His skin is hot under the shirt, blood running on the adrenaline and tension he was riding on from the intimacy. Muscles pumped and heart racing, you finally get his shirt off and he does you the honor of dropping it to the ground. 
He gives you time to gasp for air while he dips his nose into your neck, inhaling your perfume and the scent of the hotel shampoo in your hair. His back muscles tense up under your cold fingertips as you run them along his spine. It’s almost beast-like, when he flexes his arms and every single move shifts his shoulder blades under his skin. His lips leave gentle pecks in your neck and your exposed collar bone, letting goosebumps erupt all over your skin. 
His hand caresses your waist as a way of request, and you arch your back just enough for him to find the zipper on the back of your gown. The vibrations of the zip being pulled downwards already feels like little bolts of electricity up your spine, and the straps around your shoulders loosen with every inch unzipped. 
He’s done, when his fingers return to your shoulders to push the straps off. The cool air kisses your skin in spots where he isn’t touching with any part of his body. The silk of the gown gently slides off with every inch of a movement you make, more and more of your torso exposed to him. 
Sliding one of his arms under your lower back, he pulls you out of the dress instead of stripping you of it as he helps you further up the bed. Your hands press into the mattress in a bid to help him shift yourself without breaking the sloppy, messy kiss. Your back finally meets the pillows and he pushes the gown off the bed with his leg. 
Chin tilting to the ceiling, he finally creates some distance between the two of you, eyes drifting down to your collar bone and chest still covered. His palms are hot around your waist as he trails butterfly pecks on your cleavage, while your fingers find his hair to tousle and grip. 
Goosebumps start to surface when his breath is heavy on your stomach, then he reaches your underwear and it’s almost embarrassing to have him kiss you. 
Your clouded vision is manually stuck to the ceiling when you can feel your face burning with adrenaline. The tickle of the material when it gets pulled off your hips and down your legs bring your cheeks more color, and before you know it, Hyunjae has your breath hitched in your throat. 
He rests your thighs on his shoulders as he works his way around, the bare minimum sanity left inside you decides to grip onto the sheets instead of ripping out his hair. 
Chills shoot up your spine mercilessly, emanating in the form of lewd mewls directed into the air. The crown of your head meets the cushioned head board of the bed when his grip on your thighs tighten to keep you from squirming too much. 
Without warning, he drags a finger down your sensitiveness and slides it in easily, the sensation erupting a more-than-shameful groan from you. Pulling away, he adds another finger before shifting his attention back to your upper body, now eyeing the last piece of material covering your chest. But he captures your lips first to earn your attention, and your arms naturally find your way around his neck to keep him close. 
His free hand goes around your back to unhook your lingerie, and it’s nothing but a new addition to all the clothes on the carpet now. He removes his fingers, and breaks the kiss first, for the sole reason of giving you a perfect view of him licking his glistening skin. 
You can feel your brows furrow with frustration now, the warmth from him dissipating when he leans back on his heels in a kneeling position. By providing you a gorgeous view of his being while he undoes his belt, he’s only adding more fire to the fuel. 
It’s significant enough to stretch out the material of his boxers, and so he climbs over you as he removes his last bit of clothing. He harshly yanks you downwards into a lying position by your ankle, and the sharp friction against your back is an addition to the heat between the two of you. 
His breath is heavy on your lips as he rests his palms by your ears, weight pushing in the mattress. “Tell me if it hurts, love.”
Then he presses his lips into yours, like his life depended on it, and in one swift motion, he buries himself inside you like it was the most natural thing to do. 
You suck all the breath out of him as you gasp into the kiss, and he finds your arms to hook around his neck and shoulders. 
If you could feel the taste of honey throughout your body, this must be how it feels. 
He gives you some moments before he starts grinding his hips slowly, his palms finding your thighs and digging into your flesh as he hooks them around his hips. 
Breathless, you pull away first, whimpers in the back of your throat louder than what you would’ve expected. His nose dips into your neck again, arms now stretched out to use the headboard as support when he picks up the pace. 
Cursing under your breath, you feel guilty for the bliss that was spreading through you. Your nerves are all heightened by the adrenaline and your vision is blurred from the sole nature of the intimate act. 
He’s not fast, but every spot he’s hitting feels like cloud nine over and over again. 
Like a spark in the dark, the sacred spot reveals itself in the form of harsher breaths and groans. Your fingernails dig into his back and your thighs are losing stamina to remain wrapped around him. 
“That’s it,” He breaths into your ear, pressing a kiss into your lower jaw. “Come for me.”
Tremors burst through your body like lightning in a storm upon his request. He helps you ride it out with a few more thrusts before he pulls out himself, releasing on your stomach, chest heaving. 
Resting his forehead on yours, he smiles. “Let’s hope that one day I wouldn’t have to worry about pulling out.”
You scoff, slightly tired. “We’ll see.”
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You are woken up by the unfamiliar warmth you normally don’t have under the blanket. White sheets and tousled hair come into your field of vision before you can process the face, partially hidden, but eyes wide open.
“Jesus,” Your morning breath billows out between your lips and you swallow to dampen your dry throat. The room looks too damn bright for it to be morning. “What time is it?”
“7am. Don’t worry, we have plenty of time. My manager hasn’t called me so... we have time to spare.” 
You shuffle around under the sheets and your arms slide under the pillow where its cool. He shifts and pulls out his arm to rest on his tricep, palm under his ear and hair as he perches up his head. 
“What?” You pull the blanket up to your face and inhale the scent of it. It smells like him now. 
“You look pretty when you’re asleep.”
“What?” You frown, but a smile is on your lips. “How long did you watch me sleep for?”
“Not long, don’t worry. I’m not a perv.”
“Well, considering we just slept together after 24 hours of knowing one another-”
“Hey, we’re both about to be deported back to Korea to work. Give us a break, would you?” He groans and shifts again, this time trying to pull you into his chest. 
“Ah,” Snorting, you let him cradle you in his arms, his bare skin pressed warmly into yours. “‘Deport’? That’s what you call your job?”
“Only because you’re involved now,” He pecks you on the lips. “So... can I ask about your ‘administrative matters’ you said you needed to attend?”
Right. The orphanage is closing down. 
The guilt washes through you again. 
“Oh,” A look of seriousness overtakes your facials, and he notes the change in expression. “Um... I- Well... It’s an orphanage. It’s closing.”
He blinks at you, gaze filled with wander. “Were you a volunteer or...?”
Silence. 
You can’t bring yourself to say it. 
Unable to bear the incoming judgment he might provide you, your eyes dart away. 
“Hey, hey,” He finds your chin and tilts it back up to his attention. “What’s wrong? I don’t see anything wrong with being who you are. Why are you ashamed?”
“I... I’ve lived all my life with that label. ‘Orphan’. It only got better when I came out to work.”
“Is that why you are so worried? That... we might affect something and possibly implicate that?”
“Maybe.”
He sighs, thumb stroking your cheek as he shakes his head. “Nah. It shouldn’t matter.” Pulling your head into his chest, you can hear the steady thumping of his heart through his skin. “’Administrative matters’, huh? Are you like a... committee member or donator?”
“I’m an unofficial sponsor ambassador from LV. Well, LV was supposed to arrange for official funding, but they just never really had the time or resources to build the rapport. The orphanage was doing too badly for any company or brand to want to help and invest their attention on.”
“Mm,” He hums, stroking your hair. “I’m sorry about that. I truly am.”
“It’s okay. Nothing could’ve been done about it anyway. All I hope now is for the kids to be safe, no matter where they go.”
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It feels empty again, having Hyunjae being ripped from your side at the airport once the plane touched down. The manager was surprisingly not surprised to know that you had spent the night together, the only question he had asked being something that concerned a future pregnancy, which the two of you have already confirmed negative. 
It’s late when you reach back your apartment, and you ready yourself for the private meeting with the committee members of the orphanage. Though tired and severely jet-lagged, you cannot miss this meeting. It’s the last time you’ll see all the caretakers and members of the organisation in the same room.
You shift into the taxi in a new set of clothes, but topped with the Dior blazer and smelling like the Dior perfume, you feel like you were probably going to get slapped once you reach the meeting.
The building of the orphanage looks so run-down, it could be mistaken for a prison had it not been for the words HILDA’S ORPHANAGE in big, block letters above the entrance. Before you can exit the taxi, your phone starts vibrating in your purse.
It’s the President of the orphanage.
“I’m right outside the building, going in soon,” You push open the car door and thank the driver. 
“The meeting has been cancelled. Someone bought the orphanage and we’ll be managed under a new system.”
“What?”
“Surprise.” 
You turn around and see the last person you’d expect to see here, in his hands, a folder of documents and a small bouquet of flowers. 
“Um,” Your eyes are stuck to Hyunjae, but you’re still on the phone. “The buyer... Does it have anything to do with Gucci or F1?”
“Yes, it’s an F1 sponsorship but there will be more details into the managerial and planning system. Some things will have to change.”
“I’ll... I’ll call you back.”
Hyunjae watches you lock your phone in shock, attention unrivalled. He takes a few steps towards you and you now realise he’s still in the same clothes he was in on the plane. His eyebags are obvious but the prideful grin on his face makes him glow. 
Stopping about an arms’ length away from you, he holds out the folder.
“I checked with my manager and he checked with F1. They green-lit it, but on a few conditions. I heard them out before I told them it would be more likely than not you’d accept it, so here are the legal documents. All the terms and conditions and sponsor contract are already in here, so you and the President can sign it when you deem fit.”
Taking the folder, you didn’t even notice your hands are trembling as you flip through it. 
But your eyes flitter up from the page when you notice the printing: 
OWNER’S SIGNATURE (Y/N L/N): ____________________
“It’s yours if you sign it.”
Now, he holds out the bouquet. “I thought of putting it under my name but I don’t want you to think you owe me a favour and have it bugging you all the time.”
Gently shaking your head, as if you could shake out the surprise, you close the file and look to him in awe. “But I’ll still owe you, big time. This is... this is everything, so thank you.”
He sucks in a deep breath and shakes the bouquet of flowers a little. 
“You can return the favour by going out with me. Properly, whenever I have time, and I promise, no Dior packages.”
Taking the bouquet into hand, you throw your arms around his shoulders, tears welling in your eyes.
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camgirlsurvivalguide · 3 years ago
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Changing Digital Landscapes & Longevity - A word to the “OGs”
This guide started out as a very small word document I intended to send to a friend looking to get into the industry. At the time, I had been camming for a little over a year - but the process of offering the advice I’d gathered at the time felt deeply fulfilling and ultimately led me to build this resource page. 
Despite months if not years of silence on my behalf, it amazes me to still log in to find unread asks in my inbox. People still reach out to me on various social media platforms asking if I “still have that advice guide anywhere” - or if I mention it on the platforms where I’m actually active, some people are surprised to hear that I was the one behind the keyboard. 
This blog and the articles I write are mainly geared toward newcomers, and while I may answer the odd question here and there for more experienced performers and creators, by and large this is something of a 101. 
Today’s article is not for the newbies. Today I want to write to the veterans - the industry “OGs”. I want to write to others who started around when I started, way back in the early 2010s, because I feel like I need to listen to myself think for a bit. Maybe what I have to say will resonate with some of you, too.
Are you tired? I’m tired. I’m a mix of a million things - I’m grateful, I’m nostalgic, I’m burnt out, I’m uninspired, I’m looking at other industries (specifically vanilla ones) and I’m interested but scared. I’m bored of algorithms and watching my friends accounts get deleted. Sometimes I’ll think of a face and try to attach a name to it - or I’ll see an old photo from years ago and think, “I wonder where she went?”. Sometimes those old photos are shoddy, grainy screenshots and I wonder how she feels about them, wherever “she” may be now.
Most of all, I feel like I’m sort of standing on this big pile of memories and I’m asking myself how the fuck I got here and how the fuck I’m still, somehow, here. Did you think things would go on this long? I don’t think I ever imagined I’d be writing here at 31 years old, let alone still hustling online. 
I try to keep a level head when I look at news headlines; when I watch my own cost of living skyrocket at the grocery store or in gas prices, I wonder about the lives of the people who make my life possible and how much things might continue to change. I remind myself of the line I used to always say over on MF/C - “there’s always money to be made!”, and sometimes, very quietly, I snip back: “for how long, though?” 
The industry will always boom. There will always, always be money to be made. But sometimes I find myself wondering how much longer I, myself, will continue to make it - not for fear of “aging out”, but more of an awareness that I am losing steam. 
This life is very strange. In many ways, it’s absolutely ideal: it’s still the job where I make my own hours, where I am my own boss, where I call the shots. Some pieces of it still feel like it did in the early cam days - many other pieces are nothing the same at all. 
Remember when we’d release one or two videos a month? I look at my content folder for last month and feel like I could have “done more” - and yet I shot over 20 different looks, all with corresponding videos. Remember when girls would “go for rank” and then take time off? I mean Jesus, that was a whiiiile ago now - I guess the top 20 solidified pretty tightly around 2015 or whatever - but at least that felt like it at least alluded to sustainability. 
I catch myself wanting to say, “I’m not complaining” - like if I have anything to say along the lines of being tired or wondering what the fuck I’m going to do next somehow makes me a bad person, or an ungrateful person, or something along those lines. It feels bad for business, too, which is an almost scarier thought. 
A non-industry friend of mine and I spoke last weekend about work and I mentioned I was having a tough time “feeling inspired”, and she said,
“You’ve been working the same job for almost a decade. Most people switch jobs every five or six years.”
In many ways the “job” has changed, especially after having moved from exclusively live streaming to primarily content creation - but fundamentally, it is the same. We reinvent ourselves and look through new perspectives to keep ourselves going, and the things we like about this line of work are likely still alive and well - but maybe it’s not a surprise to feel the way I’m feeling. Maybe I’m not alone, either. 
Does anyone else feel like whatever the next step is, it has to be “big” somehow? Like if I were to do something else - something non-industry - it would have to either make me the same amount of money or be something so passion driven and different and interesting and “wow, she did THAT” kind of a thing ... almost in an attempt to make it feel “worth it” to have my attention taken elsewhere. I daydream about buying some farm out in the middle of nowhere a lot lately. I follow along on Twitter with one of the OGs who has literally done just that. I wonder how many of us also want to go where it’s quiet and slow. 
Anyway, more than anything I want to just say that it’s fucking insanity that putting out new content practically daily and fighting tooth and nail against algorithms that fucking hate us has become some sort of normal, acceptable thing. Are you tired? I’m fucking tired, man. I’m grateful and I’m kind of in awe of everything that’s happened over the last near-decade, and I’m in awe of those of us who have seen things rise and fall and rise and start to fall again, and somehow have still stuck around. 
What a strange little life we’ve made. I hope all of you are well - and if you’re not really sure how to answer the “how are you doing” question, just know we’re in the same boat. 
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starlessumbra · 3 years ago
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More Questions Answered
The game has pretty nice OST, And art at least from what i've seen and heard off of Opera GX, Did you do all this yourself or did you get some help?
Thank you! Assets at this point are very much a combination of my original graphics and sound, royalty-free resources, some artwork done by my wife, and assets commissioned for the game. I am trying to get out of the habit of calling this a solo project, because the truth is I can't really do all of it myself. I'm focusing on content over polish, so writing a somewhat cohesive narrative from start to finish is the focus. I have and will continue to hire freelance help for sprite work, portraits, etc., but that all currently comes out-of-pocket.
With the time SU has taken to release and stuff, will the game, Will it ever be launched on a different platform? Like Itch.io or Steam or even Epic games, maybe different platforms if you'd like (i don't think rpgmaker games can be ported, probably would have to rewrite the whole code in a language like C# or something)
One of my sneaky little tricks comes from a closeness to the classic RPG Maker community: this isn't actually an RPG Maker project anymore. I do try to closely emulate the RPG Maker 2003 style, mostly out of nostalgia, but the game is written in Gamemaker so porting is relatively painless. Confirmed platforms are currently PC (Steam, itch, anywhere I can get) and Nintendo Switch.
What hurdles did you come across that made you restart the development of the game?
The first is primarily technical. RPG Maker 2003 (at the time) couldn't natively export to non-windows platforms. Even on windows support felt waning. I remember the game would crash if I had two GPUs running and the game did this awful anti-aliasing on windows 7. Everything felt dated. (Aside, easyrpg fixes a lot of this! But I feel this ship has already sailed...)
The second is graphical. Starless Umbra started in 2002 before indie games were even a thing. It was common practice to rip assets from other RPGs. And while that did teach me about palette usage, effective map creation, and pixel art overall, the result is the product started to feel like a mixtape of some of my favorite game assets, of varying degrees of quality. Few of which I could call my own.
The final reason is the writing. I started the game as a child, and though I did my best to revise the story as I matured, revisions on the story began to take its toll on the narrative. Interest in the story came mostly through a mystery I was explaining to players that I myself hadn't quite figured out. Overall, there's a lot of cringy moments in these older iterations of the game, but in those moments they felt very genuine to me. It wasn't until I took a step back and approached the narrative from the top-down did I at least have some semblance of a roadmap for a story I wanted to tell.
Is there something that you've been unable to do that still sucks to do/hard to do for the game?
The writing is still difficult for me. Typically, what I plan for an act goes through a series of revisions, some even requiring multiple rewrites if the story doesn't meet the desired pacing or tone. I try to minimize this, but often it takes a lot of trial-and-error.
Striking a balance in the combat system between something that feels like a JRPG, isn't boring, and doesn't require twitchy/quick reactions like most action games is also challenging. People come into the game with certain preconceived notions, eg., "I don't want this enemy to hit me", but in reality by moving away from it and not attacking you're letting its abilities recharge. Trading damage is okay because as long as you survive the encounter your health is replenished. Allowing players to understand that and make combat engaging has been difficult.
How long would you say till SU launches as a whole game?
I'm notoriously bad at giving estimates. (Heroes of Umbra's initial estimate was 6-12 months: it took almost 6 years!) At the pace I'm going without any help it'll be another 3-5 years, but I hope I can trim that down. This is primarily because the game is a hobby project. I also have a full-time job, a two-year-old daughter, and generally try to follow some semblance of a fitness regimen to keep me busy otherwise.
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gashinabts · 4 years ago
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philophobia|(m)
Words: 7.4k
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature
Summary: Taehyung, a man, who swears he’ll never fall in love meets Y/N a hopeless romantic.
Warnings: Teasing, spitting, oral (f/receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing ( lmao idk if thats a thing?), squirting, sexual intercourse, mention of homophobia. Topics of child neglecting, if this makes you uncomfortable pls don’t read :) minor character death
A/N: Taehyung is a bisexual king! Tell me what you peeps think, remember that comments motivate me to continue writing!!! This is my work, no reposting this and my other works on any other platforms.
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Kim Taehyung was born December 30, 1995 his father left him when he was 11 years old that is when Taehyung realized that love never lasts. His mother pretended that his father never existed, she quickly hid the family photos away, along with covering his tomato garden with dirt. Taehyung wanted to ask where he went but stopped wondering when he heard a few of his classmates whispering that Taehyung’s dad left them for a young woman in her twenties. 
As Taehyung grew into his teenage years he would often get asked out by his classmates, he wouldn’t decline, accepting the dates to see if he can ever fall foolishly in love like his Mom once did. However, nothing ever happened, he would kiss them goodnight but won’t call them the next day. In high school he lost his virginity at a party, he wasn’t nervous, just did things he’s seen in filthy pornorgraphy. The very next day the girl spread the rumor that Taehyung was a sex god, that he probably had sex everyday with a different people. Was that a compliment? He remembered thinking to himself as he sat in the back of the classroom, feeling people secretly stare at him. 
That day he met Jimin. Jimin was a popular boy that everyone swoon over. Of course he had a girlfriend, they have been dating since middle school. The guys would gawk at her when she would wear a sports bra to track practice. Taehyung was in art class sketching an apple, Jimin came over and talked to him as if they were friends. It was nice, Taehyung listened to Jimin complain about his art. When class was over, Jimin asked Taehyung to hang out with him after school. When Taehyung sat on Jimin’s bed, he looked over on the desk and saw a picture of Jimin and his girlfriend. Right next to it was a picture of what he assumed was Jimin’s family. A Mom, Dad, an older brother, and Jimin. He turned his gaze back to Jimin...who was undressing in front of him. Jimin’s underwear was the only thing on, Taehyung didn’t expect him to have lean muscles and define abs. An hour later  they were both breathless, exhausted from the sex. 
“ I’m not gay.” Jimin tells Taehyung as he cleans himself with a rag. 
“ Okay.” Taehyung shrugs and pulls his pants up. He’s watched gay porn and straight porn before and got turned on by both of them, so it doesn’t come to much of a surprise that he enjoyed the sex with Jimin. 
*******
Taehyung watches from afar when Jimin kisses his girlfriend in the school halls, wondering if that’s love. The next few months, Taehyung and Jimin fool around more. Jimin would call Taehyung over, then they would fuck and they would both be on their way. There were never conversations or pillow talks, until right now.
“ I’m gay.” Jimin confesses to Taehyung. 
“Cool.” Taehyung shrugs, looking for his shoes. 
“ That’s all your gonna say?” Jimin rolls his eyes grabbing his t-shirt wiping the come on his stomach. 
“ I’m bisexual, happy?” Taehyung looks at his phone and notices a missed call from his mother. He tucks his phone away, “ Why are you still with her? Your girlfriend.” He finally asks the question he’s been meaning to ask since the beginning.
“ I love her and I don’t want to hurt her, but I can’t love her like that.” Jimin looks at the picture of them and flips it down, almost ashamed of how much of a coward he is. “ Plus my Dad would kill me if I told him I like men.” He throws his head back looking at the ceiling not wanting to cry his eyes out. 
Taehyung thinks love is complicated, he thinks people who are in love are selfish. They rather hurt themselves for the sake of love. It’s stupid he wants to tell Jimin that but he keeps quiet until Jimin looks at him with tears eyes. “ I don’t know what to say…”
“It’s fine...you don’t have to say anything just keep me company, yeah?” 
“ Okay,” Taehyung sits back on the bed watching but not really watching tv with Jimin. 
---
Taehyung’s mom was proud of him when he got accepted to a good college, she would brag to her friends and show pictures of his acceptance letters. Along with bragging how she raised Taehyung all by herself. Taehyung didn’t mind that he was in the spotlight, whatever made his mom happy he would comply with whatever she does. He was good with numbers so he was going to major in data analysis, he really wanted to major in art but his mom laughed in his face, telling him to be realistic. 
Taehyung is now in his third year of college, wanting to just graduate already, done with the shitload of classwork and long ass lectures. Just right now he just finished his homework that took him three hours. He’s about to call it a night until Jungkook barges in his room, yelling at him to get dressed for a party. Taehyung switches his dirty hoodie with a clean hoodie, opting out grey sweatpants with jeans. He keeps his glasses on, due to his eyes being tired and not wanting to irritate them with contacts. 
Jungkook hands Taehyung a drink, there’s obscene music, blunts being handed around, and people grinding on each other. “ When’s the last time you got laid?” Jungkook asked, as he took a gulp of his beer.
“ Last week...I think.” Taehyung searches through his mental sex list, but can’t seem to remember the girls face or name. He looks around and watches a couple argue with each other. The man rolls his eyes as the woman tries not to cry, the woman ends up leaving him and going upstairs.
“ Damn, lucky. I tried to hook up with this girl and she ended up leaving me hanging. Claimed that she’s not over her boyfriend, started crying on me when I was going down on her.” Jungkook cringes, sipping more alcohol. “ Be my wingman, yeah?” 
“ Sure,” Taehyung nods. Jungkook is talking to this pretty girl, and she laughs at every joke that Jungkook makes. Taehyung wasn’t even sure why he asked him to his wingman when Jungkook can easily get a girl to bed. Jungkook nods absentmindedly when Taehyung excuses himself, he wanders around the frat house looking at people getting wasted. Once he gets tired of it he goes upstairs, hoping to find solace in an empty room. He opens a bedroom door, and notices a girl with a pencil and notebook. “ My bad-,” Taehyung is about to close the door.
You look up from your sketchpad, you see a tall man with messy curls and glasses. “ You can stay,” you observe him, he looks like he was forced to come here. There’s no red solo cup in his hand, he looks like he hasn’t a good night's rest. Also why else would he look mindlessly into rooms, the bathroom doors have a handwritten sign stating ‘BATHROOM’, so he must be bored or something searching into bedrooms. “ Or don’t. I don’t care.” You watch him close the door, entering the room.
“ Is this your room?” Taehyung looks around the room, noticing posters of naked women and marvel posters. Weird combination he notes. Along with the dirty clothes scattered all over the floor. 
“ No,” you laugh. Shutting your notebook close, taking notice of his nice hands brushing his hair back. “ My friend’s room. I didn’t really feel like partying just decided to sketch,” you lift your pad up. He nods and sits on the bed.
“ Can I draw?” Taehyung points towards the sketchpad. He hasn’t drawn in months too busy in his schoolwork, his fingers would sometimes draw on foggy windows but nothing more. You nod tearing a piece of paper out and handing him a pencil, he thanks you. 
You were sneakily glancing at him, sketching him, his angular jaw, messing hair, uneven eyelid, long eyelashes. Getting lost at his elegant features, wondering if he knows how beautiful he looks. You shake your head for easily fawning over this man. His hands are even beautiful, they travel across the paper gracefully with each stroke. You turn your eyes away when he makes eye contact with you, cheeks getting warm. “ What’s your name?” You ask while shading the contours of his cheeks.
“ Taehyung.” He folded his paper into a small square, putting it into his pocket. “ Yours?”
“ Y/N,” you smile.
---
“ Did you get laid yesterday night?” Jungkook is shirtless with scratch marks behind his back, there’s a couple of hickies on his neck.
Taehyung takes a sip of his tea before answering, “No, just talking to some girl. Her name is Y/N.” 
“ Y/N. She’s a nice girl. One time I forgot a scantron for class and she gave me one. She’s also friends with Namjoon.” Jungkook pours himself coffee sitting next to Taehyung. “ Are you interested in her?”
Taehyung would be lying if said he wasn’t interested in you. When he entered the room he thought you were pretty and had a kind smile. “ Maybe...why?” 
“ It’s best if you don’t try to get at her. Y/N looks the type to fall in love easily.” Jungkook sighs cracking his back on the back of the chair, groaning at his achy body. Taehyung wonders how can someone fall in love easily, he’s not one to believe in love at first sight or any kind of stuff in that realm. “ Alright, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we can leave.” 
Taehyung and Jungkook are at the library studying or trying to study, Jungkook is texting someone the whole time instead of studying for his macroeconimics test. While Taehyung is playing video games on his phone. “ Hey guys! Didn’t know you actually study Jungkook,” Namjoon jokes, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook rolls his eyes pushing his hand off his head mumbling curse words at him. Taehyung looks to the side of Namjoon and notices you laughing as the scene unfolds. You’re carrying ice americanos and Jungkook immediately takes it out of the carrier, thanking you. 
You look at Taehyung placing one in front of him, “ I didn’t know what kind of coffee you liked.” Taehyung is wearing similar clothing to what he wore at the party, mostly muted green colors and his circle glasses, his hair is pushed back with a headband. He looks surprised to see you, but nevertheless thanks you for the coffee. The conversations between Jungkook and Namjoon get more serious when they finally decide to study for their materials. You try to study but you want to talk to Taehyung wanting to get to know him more, you nudge your foot against his leg. He looks up, looking at you in question, you nod your head towards the exit entrance, he nods slowly unsure to what you're up to but following your lead. Jungkook and Namjoon are too invested in their studying to see you and Taehyung leave. “ Do you wanna go to my apartment?”
“ Sure,” Taehyung shrugs. The apartment was small and kind of messy, you try to hurry up and toss some of the paintbrushes in the sink. There’s water cups filled with murky colors, and paint marks on the tables, he’s not used to a sight like this. In his apartment it is always clean and tidy, not a dirty plate in sight. “ You live by yourself?” he asked, placing his stuff on the table. 
“ Yeah, my roommate moved four months ago with her boyfriend.” You give up cleaning the mess since there’s too much to clean. “ Want some-” You are interrupted when you feel Taehyung’s lips on your, your hands push his chest flustered at the sudden kiss.
“ I-I- sorry...I must have read something wrong,” he looks embarrassed immediately backing up giving you space. “ I thought you invited me to your apartment for sex.” Taehyung notices how your eyes widen, fuck he feels like an ass, scared that he made you uncomfortable. “ I should go…” he goes to pick up his bags ready to bolt out.
“ I just wanted to talk...to get to know you better,” you speak before his hands grab the doorknob. “ We can paint and talk, if that's okay with you?” 
“ Are you sure? You don’t want me to leave?” 
“ Stay.” You go to the sink to wash your dirty brushes. 
Taehyung sits down looking at the wall, notices a canvas of a man, he has plump lips, gentle eyes, overall he is beautiful, something that seemed out of this world. Maybe it was the way it was painted that made it appear like that. “ You painted that?” Taehyung speaks shifting his gaze to you.
You look at where Taehyung was pointing at, it was the painting of your ex boyfriend, “ Yeah, that’s my ex boyfriend, Seokjin. The professor told us to paint the definition of love…,” you stare at Seokjin’s face, remembering the memories you shared. The brushes are all cleaned and you set them down, grabbing some water colors that are in the cabinet. 
“ Do you still love him?” Taehyung curiously asked, watching carefully at your reaction.
There’s a slight pain of thinking about him, truly not over his death. “ Yeah I’ll always have love for him…” 
Taehyung wants to ask more about him but doesn’t want to intrude, he doesn’t say anything else but paints. This is when Taehyung feels like he’s truly being himself painting, expressing himself without saying anything. Moments like these wish Taehyung would’ve chosen doing what he has a passion for insteading appealing to his mothers standards. 
“ Why are you a data analysis major?” The artwork he is doing is remarkable, there’s dark undertones and eerie about it but it is beautiful something that you have to keep staring at.
He chuckles, “ Because I need to eat.” You look down feeling a little insulted he must've noticed since he immediately apologizes. 
“ It’s okay. You know if you ever want to relax and paint, you can come here,” you continue painting small flowers. The first time, he smiles and nods his head.
---
5 months later
This is the third flower shop visited and he’s getting more tired with each second. “ This arrangement or this one?” You ask Taehyung, as you hold two bouquets. One was more filled with carnations and the other was filled with lilies. He gives it some thought before pointing at the carnations. “ This would be pretty to paint,” you smell it getting happy inside.
“ Finally, when can we eat...I didn't eat anything this morning,” his stomach growls at the thought of food. He’s still carrying the vases you bought at the thrift shop, you had to plead with you to not buy another antique mirror because he knows he would have to carry it to the apartment.
You gave the cashier the money, as he wraps the flowers in newspaper, turning your head you look at Taehyung, “ Why did you come with me if you were going to complain the whole time?” You laugh at his scrunched nose as you pinch it. The flowers are handed back and you thank the cashier, leaving with Taehyung.
“ Because I wanted to,” Taehyung shrugs. In your apartment he puts the flowers away as you cook him food, he always enjoys your cooking. When he was younger all he ever ate was ramen, never really ate some home cooked meals, his mother was always busy working trying to financially support the family so he never once asked his mom for dinner. Even at his own apartment he doesn’t eat Jungkook’s food since he doesn’t know how to cook either. Sometimes when he’s hungry he’ll just come to your apartment and you’ll be more than happy to cook for him.
When Taehyung enters his apartment Jungkook is watching anime, foot propped on the table and sipping some beer. “ Back from your girlfriends’ so soon?” 
“ Not my girlfriend but yeah, I left my schoolwork here so I had to come back,” he sighs. Taehyung doesn’t get mad when Jungkook teases him about you being his girlfriend, but he sometimes gets annoyed. He likes the friendship between the two of you, it’s different from any other friendships he had in the past. “ Tomorrow night the apartment is mine. This guy wants to hangout with me.”
“ Just say he wants to fuck you,” Jungkook yells as Taehyung closes his bedroom door. 
---
You meet Taehyung at the park with some bread, he hugs you and asks about your day. “ It was okay. Had lunch with my Dad, but it always ends up in some lecture. I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m fifteen or something,” you tear a piece of bread throwing it into the pond watching some ducks gobble it. You try to look at Taehyung but it hurts when you see some hickies on his neck. On the day you were about to confess your feelings to Taehyung you asked him if he ever loved someone, he laughed and said that he doesn’t believe in no such thing as love. As much as you wanted to disapprove of that idea, you couldn’t be the one to change it.
He grabs some bread, chucking some pieces out, “ What was the argument?”
You laugh thinking about your Dad’s red face, “ I invited him to my apartment, and he found the blunt we smoked together in the ashtray.”
“ Shit, I should’ve thrown it away,” Taehyung laughs too, pushing some of his hair back. 
“ Just glad he didn’t find any of my sex toys,” you cringe just thinking about it. You feel something tugging the end of your skirt, looking down you see a toddler smiling cheekily pointing at the bread. You smile, “ Here, have fun,” you hand him the rest of your bread. You watch him wobble as he runs to his mother throwing the whole slice in the water. 
“ Sex toys?” Taehyung asked once the child was out of sight. “ Like what?,” Taehyung is interested, he doesn’t know, maybe because he can’t imagine you using them. Or he wants to know how you use it. There were times when Taehyung wanted to have sex with you but he turned those urges off. He doesn’t want to give you mixed signals remembering Jungkook’s words of advice. “ Never-”
“ A dildo, vibrator, hitachi wand, or even my favorite pillow,” you trail off not thinking much until you realize who you are confessing to. “ I-I uh…”
“ How often?,” Taehyung asked quietly, not wanting any other people hearing the conversation. He shouldn’t get turned on but he is.
Something about Taehyung’s deep quiet voice is making you squeeze your thighs, “ Every night…” You're still looking at the pond, watching the ripples that are caused by the ducks swimming away. You can feel Taehyung's stare but you ignore it. The conversation switches to another topic when you talk about your school work. The sun sets and you both part ways.
The sound of tea kettle wakes you up from your concentration of you sketching, sighing you pour yourself the tea. Looking at your art, you turn it over not wanting to see Taehyung’s face right now. But fate has different plans when you hear knocking on the door, Taehyung appears, he lets himself in and is close to your face.
“ Taehyung?” You’re puzzled at his frazzled state, deeply staring into your eyes. 
“ Can I kiss you?” The words are quiet but firm. Stupidly you nod, not caring about any consequences. His hands cup your face, immediately going into the kiss. The kisses get deeper, his hands travel to your hips bringing you closer to him quickly, you lose friction from the fluffy socks you're wearing causing you to slip, immediately grabbing Taehyung as you fall backwards. His hands are quick to save himself from not falling onto you. There’s a slight pain on your tailbone but is immediately forgotten when Taehyung goes back to kissing you.
The big t-shirt you are wearing is tossed, his hands immediately fondle your breast, his lips leaving kisses on your neck, groaning as he pushes his bulge against your clothed core. “ Taehyung...let me touch you,” you moan when he bites your neck. He pulls back, pecking your lips before taking off his clothes. Your hands trail against his chest, his stomach, towards his pelvic, trying to remember every part of him. He is surprised to have you touching him like he was some marvel statue, usually his past hookups just rush into the sex. It’s very intimate and he doesn’t know how to feel about it.
 Taehyung groans when you touch his dick, he’s hard and wants to be inside of you already. He comes down kissing you, his hands get rid of your panties, fingers spreading your wetness. The moans you let out are turning him on even more, he stretches you out with his fingers. He likes the way your eyes flutter, the shape of your lips tremble, along with your chest inhaling and exhaling deeply. “ You are so pretty,” he doesn’t mean to say it loudly but he does. There’s a blush that blooms on your cheeks, it reminds him of the flowers you would get to study paint.
“ Taehyung,” you moan slightly flustered at his compliment. He reaches for his pants grabbing a condom. “ You don’t want to go to the bedroom?” The floor is still cold against your back, and the last time you cleaned the floor was days ago. 
Taehyung shakes head, already putting on the condom not wanting to waste time, “ Too far,” he smiles when you laugh. He enters you feeling you clench tightly around, he moans digging his head into your neck. “ You are so tight,” he groans. “ Feels so fucking good, having you like this,” he confesses.
You moan loudly, his thick cock streching “ Oh fuck, Taehyung, please just fuck me,” your hands go to his waist urging him to move. He listens to your command, thrusting slowly trying to get deep as he can. Maybe if you can close your eyes you can pretend that he’s in love with you. He goes faster and cries at the pace he’s going, the pleasure is overwhelming, something that you can’t get with your own hands. “ I’m close already,” your hand goes to tug at his wavy hair.
“ Me too,” his voice is deeper. His hand travels down to your pussy searching for your clit and rubbing it. “ Come for me,” he says into your ear. You moan his name loudly, cumming around his cock, scratching his back. The sight of you creaming around him makes him immediately come, he searches for your lips, moaning your name in the kiss. The two of you lay in the afterglow of the sex, panting loudly his body is barely being hold up, and you laying on the hard floor.
Taehyung gets up throwing his condom away, he looks at you still laying on the floor with your eyes close, the realization of him having sex with you just popped up. He hurriedly gets dressed, then helps you get dressed, he gets shocked when you kiss him as a thank you. The next morning Taehyung wakes up early, making sure to leave quietly, not wanting to disrupt your sleep.
---
You weren’t going to lie, it kind of hurt not waking up beside Taehyung but you shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Namjoon invites you to a kick back, only inviting a few people to his house to chill and drink. You take solace on the couch, watching people get high and drunk, you weren’t in the mood to do either so you make conversation with a slightly high Hoseok. He’s in mid-discussion about Shrek being a cinematic masterpiece, when Jungkook yells from the door entrance that he has Taco Bell. Taehyung is beside him wearing all black beanie, crewneck, and sweatpants, but still looks better than half of the people here.
 You turn your gaze back to Hoseok who’s left walking towards Jungkook immediately grabbing a taco. Sighing you decide to get fresh air, staring at the tall dark buildings. “ Whatcha you doing here by yourself? It’s fucking freezing,” Taehyung speaks out closing the slider door standing by you. He takes off his vape pen inhaling it.
“ Wanted fresh air,” you shrug, still staring at the buildings. “ Hoseok left me for tacos. He was onto something, saying that Shrek is a masterpiece. Who knows maybe he’ll write his thesis about it.” Taehyung chuckles, he keeps looking at you and you finally stare at him. “ Why’d you kiss me yesterday?”
He blows out the smoke, and puts his pen away, “ Cuz I wanted to,” he shrugs not thinking much about it. 
“ Nothing else?” You arch your eyebrow.
He continues to stare into your eyes “ Nope,” he shakes his head.  
Some part of you wanted him to say that he had feelings for you but in the back of your mind you knew that wasn’t going to happen. You smile pushing his chest, “ Well that’s the last time we are ever going to do anything like that.” The both of you know that is a lie.
---
For the next couple of months you and Taehyung continue sleeping with each other.
When you are studying with Namjoon in the library, Jungkook and Taehyung spontaneously show up, causing Namjoon to groan. “ You know you love me,” Jungkook jokingly says sitting next to him. 
Taehyung sits down next to you, looking at your classwork, “ How long have you been studying,” he whispers. 
You turn to look at the time of your phone, “ Like four hours,” you sigh. He hands you a jolly rancher, you immediately put in your mouth. “ Why are you here? You texted me that you were going to take a fat ass nap?”
“ I wanted to see you, kind of missed you,” he lays his head against the table. His eyes close when you brush his soft hair. 
“ I’ll be done in forty minutes.” He lets off a quiet okay continuing to look at you doing your work. 
Taehyung wakes up to you caressing his cheek, his neck is in pain from the awkward position he slept in. “ Where did Jungkook and Namjoon go?,” he looks at the empty seats. He tries to crack his neck and watches you pack your stuff.
“ They left about twenty minutes ago,” you get up stretching your legs. “ Let’s head home. We still have left over pizza,” you groan at the pain on your lower back. 
For some odd reason Taehyung liked hearing you say home, there’s some comfort it gives him but he never says it out loud. Taehyung grabs your backpack, holding it for you as you walk towards your car. You look in the fridge for the pizza, but Taehyung has other plans when he closes the fridge door, pinning you against it kissing you feverishly, his tongue already begging for entrance. Laughing you push him away, “ What’s gotten into you?”
“ I told you...I miss you,” his hands are on your waist. He kisses you again, picking you up easily and placing you on the kitchen table. He takes off your pants and panties, and you reach for his pants but he stops you forcing you to lie completely on the table. “ Look at you, laying so pretty on the table,” he bends down kissing you on your lips before he goes down on you. 
He licks your cunt, gently prodding his tongue up and down. Your hips move frantically wanting to feel more of him. His rough hands pin your hips, and he continues with his teasing, lightly kissing your clit before touring you with his slow pace.  “ Look at your pussy, it looks like the roses you painted yesterday…,” his finger goes up and down your folds.
The words make your cheeks grow hot, “ No it doesn’t,” you get shy shaking your head. The embarrassment fills your body, for maybe shamelessly liking his compliment. You are probably never going to look at roses the same way ever again.
“ Yeah, it does Y/N, but your pussy is more pretty,” he continues to tease you. Wanting to see you get more flustered, he likes it when you do it gets him more turned on. “ I wonder if it smells like roses too,” he’s about to smell your pussy but you hold his head. He watches you cutely shake your head. 
Taehyung is filthy but it makes you get even more aroused. “ It won’t,” you whisper, wanting to cry but he shakes his kissing the inside of your thigh to try to comfort you. 
He smells your pussy and he groans, your heart thumps faster and nervous for what's about to say, “ It smells better,” he kisses your clit. His tongue keeps tracing your folds gently wanting to make you beg for more. The movement of his tongue makes you want to pull your own hair out. The pleasure is barely there but it grows within each second of his tongue flicking up and down.
“ Taehyung,” you let out desperate whine, “ please, I need more.�� One of his hands slap your cunt, and your back arches surprise but even more turned on. You never knew that you were into that. The sting hurts at first but shoots up ecstasy after a nanosecond, you can’t help but seek more. “ More!” 
Taehyung lets out a dark chuckle, he gives you another slap, slightly harder on the center of your clit, the stinging making your face scrunch up but letting out a lewd moan. He groans at your wetness seeping out some of it landing on the table.
Suddenly, he is done with all the teasing, and dives in, nose touching your clit and tongue inside your entrance going in and out. Finding it extremely hot that you are riding his face, like the pillow on your bed. Taehyung vividly remembers when you showed him how you ride your pillow last week. The way you desperately let out cute whines trying so hard to relieve yourself as Taehyung only watched, wanting to see you get off without his help. 
He moves his face side to side so his nose can rub your clit. Head in the clouds, your body is floating with ecstasy wanting to stay in it forever. Your hands reach down trying to anchor yourself, Taehyung reaches for your hand holding it tight. You cry out his name loudly, coming intensely, your eyes are shut when it doesn’t seem to stop. Your body finally calms down, looking down you see Taehyung’s face is completely wet. “ Oh my god, did I-
“ Fuck, that was hot,” Taehyung wipes his face with the back his arm. He kisses your lips, he helps you from the table, handing you your panties. 
“ Let me repay you?,” you tug at his belt loop, you look down to see the bulge is gone and there’s a wet stain. Your eyes widen, “ Did you come?”
“ Yeah, you squirting on me, made me bust a nut. I swore I never came that hard either,” he sighs happily. Laughing you go towards the fridge, finally eating the cold pizza. You hand him one and he eats it in two bites. “ My mom called me today…”
Taehyung hardly talks about his family, you only know that he was raised only by his mother. He never talked bad about her but you can tell that they didn’t have a close  relationship. “ What happened?” You and Taehyung move so you're sitting on the couch.
“ She told me that my father wanted to meet up with me,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “ Told her that I don’t want to. She started crying and telling me that he’s my father...I sometimes think she’s still in love with him. She’s an idiot.” He lays his back staring at the ceiling.
“ Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone that you once loved. The one you shared your laughs, arguments, touches, memories...vanish into thin air... or you could hold onto it. Love isn’t easy...it’s messy, it’s confusing but it’s beautiful being able to share it with someone. Don’t you think?” You look at Taehyung’s side profile.
Taehyung turns his head looking at you, “ I don’t know...I will never fall in love. I don’t want to end up like my parents,” he closes his eyes.
“ Taehyung-“
He opens his eyes smiling, grabbing your hands, “ Let’s head to bed,” already over the conversation. 
---
Jungkook is cooking breakfast and almost burns his hand when a random girl walks out of Taehyung’s room. Immediately she exits their apartment, doing the walk of shame. Taehyung walks out shirtless with hickies on his chest and dishevelled hair. Jungkook clears his throat, “ Thought you were seeing Y/N,” he turns off the stove.
Taehyung grabs a glass of water, “ We are just friends,” he takes several gulps.
Jungkook scoffs rolling his eyes at his friend’s stupidity, “ Yeah, friends who have sex, hold hands, and almost spend every night together. My bad I forgot they changed the definition of ‘friends’ in the Webster dictionary.”
“ Whatever man...I'm out of here,” Taehyung leaves the kitchen going to his room. He looks at himself in the mirror, disgusted at his appearance, at the splotchy marks on his neck. Why am I like this? Taehyung leaves his apartment ignoring Jungkook, entering your apartment with his set of keys. He looks at you cooking pancakes, you look at him quickly and smiling.
“ Hey...you want some? It’s your favorite banana pancakes,” you flip the pancake. He looks at the big stack of pancakes you have on the table, you continue with the last couple of pancakes and sit down taking a couple of bites. You are consumed by the taste, not really focusing on Taehyung until he clears his throat, looking at him you notice marks on his neck. Your heart plummets, you thought the whole time the two of you have been messing around he wasn’t seeing anyone else. “ You hooked up with someone else yesterday?,” you set your utensils down.
Taehyung nods trying to look nonchalant, “ Yeah, is that a problem?” 
“ No,” you try to lie to yourself but it’s no use, your face looks the opposite of how you feel, disheartening, you can’t save face even if your life's on the line. Swallowing hard you shake your head, “ Actually, yes. It is a problem,” you sigh. “ I don’t understand you. You treat me like a lover, but then you do things like this…” you get up from the kitchen table tossing the plates in the sink, not caring that you didn’t finish the meal, “ I open my heart with you but you don’t do the same. I feel used in this relationship or whatever the hell this is,” your hands clenched tightly as you turn around and face Taehyung.
He’s now by the kitchen counter standing up, “ I told you I’m not looking for love. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed feelings but I don’t want this to end whatever we have with each other. I like how things are-”
You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words, “ Well I don’t...if you want to fuck around then do it... I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore.” The angry tears stream down your face, your hands wipe them before he could, “ Go Taehyung. I wish you the best,” his face is etched with subtle pain, turning away from him you wash the dishes not bothering to look at the sound of him leaving.
---
Three days later
Taehyung hasn’t been sleeping well, tossing and turning, giving up completely and decides to study all night long. This has been a daily occurrence since the fight with you. I’m not going to care for you like I love you anymore. Taehyung groans, wanting to get the image of you out of his brain. Jungkook knocks on his door, eyes widening at the sight of him, “ You look like shit, c’mon Namjoon is having another get together.”
When Taehyung shows up to the party he watches you have a conversation with Hoseok, from a far distant, unsure how you would react if you saw him. Taehyung waits till Hoseok leaves, walking towards you as you are on your phone texting someone. He watches you jolt as he calls your name. “ Hey,” you greet him but there’s no smile or warmth like you usually greet. And he hates it, it makes him feel like a stranger.
“ About the last time, I’m sorry that we got into an argument,” Taehyung apologizes, he tucks his hands in his pockets, a nervous tick he developed when he was elementary. 
“ Ok,” you nod your head, not wanting to discuss something so private in a social setting. “ I should get going, I got a research paper to go over,” you give him one last glance and leave, not saying goodbye to anyone else.
Taehyung doesn’t like the way your back faces him, leaving him all alone with a place full of people. He pushes against people not wanting to let you go so easily, he wants to talk to you, he wants to hear you talk. He wants to lay in your bed and listen to your heart beat while you stroke his hair, letting him fall asleep in your arms. You're opening your car door, and you halt when he calls your name, you wait patiently for what he’s going to say. Please stay.  “ I-I uh...I wish you the best, Y/N” Taehyung says. He watches you give him one last small smile and drive away. 
---
Six months later
Taehyung hates visiting his mother, there’s always something unsettling when he enters his childhood home. As soon as greets his mother she comments about his weight, his slightly long wavy hair, and baggy clothes. She doesn’t ask him college, she never does. Instead he listens to her talk about her work. “ I told your father that you're in town,” she says over the sound of the faucet. Taehyung nods, handing her the dirty dishes, “ I told him you are free tomorrow, you are going to visit him at IHOP,” she leaves no room for argument. 
The sun wakes up Taehyung before his alarm does, he doesn’t really put in effort to look nice but when his mother gives him a look, he changes into something more appropriate. Maybe if Taehyung was in middle school he would be nervous meeting his father but now that he’s an adult he couldn’t care less. It takes him a while to find his father, he looks older from his adolescent years, has a few gray hairs and slightly wrinkled skin. His father stands up, and Taehyung immediately holds his hand out giving him a handshake not wanting to receive an awkward hug. His father looks surprised but compiles, awkwardly laughing and sits down taking a gulp of his hot black coffee. “ I ordered your favorite,” his father points to the triple drizzle chocolate milkshake with a red cherry on top that is set in front of Taehyung. “ How are you kiddo? You look so grown up, your mother has been feeding you well, huh?”
“ Yup.” Taehyung looks at the red cherry. 
There’s too much uncomfortable tension, and his father is letting more awkward coughs to try to fill the silence. “ Almost done with college, yeah? Just three more months, and you gotta face the real world,” his father comments.
Taehyung has been facing the real world since he was a teenager, he worked when he was in highschool to pay for college, he cooked his own dinner because his mother always came home late, he didn’t need to graduate college to find out the world was shitty. “ Yeah.”
His father tries really hard to have some sort of conversation with his son.“ You still like to paint?”
Taehyung smiles, getting reminded of you. He wonders what you are doing right now, if you are painting the canvas he bought you when you guys were friends. “ No. I mean yeah, sorta. I painted with this girl, she made me fall back in love with painting but I did something horrible to her. Now I can’t paint without thinking about her,” he sighs. 
There’s surprise etched on his father’s face, since more than a word came out of his son’s mouth. “ Seems like a very important person to you. You should talk things out with her, don’t want to lose someone like that.” 
Taehyung rolls his eyes, “ Why? You did the same thing to us.”
“ Taehyung-”
“ You really fucked me up father, I hate that you and mom made me this way. I want to love her but I’m scared...what if she ends up leaving me like you did. I rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have someone steal a part of me,” Taehyung grits his teeth.
“ I-I I’m sorry Taehyung...I really am. I hate myself everyday for not visiting you, I should’ve been there for you...Your mother and I once loved each other but sometimes people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean love is evil. Don’t give up on love because of our failed marriage, son, you deserve to be in love.”
---
One week later
“ Fuck, watch where you going asshole,” you yell at the asshole who wasn’t paying attention that made you drop all of your art supplies. He doesn’t even bother apologizing, just continues to walk with his friends. You pick up your pencils, someone helps you pick up your other materials. “ Thank-” you stop midway when your eyes are met with Taehyung. He hands you the sketchpads, you quickly put it in your bag, “ Thanks.”
“ No problem. You just got out of class?,” he asked intently looking at you.
His hair is pushed back by his headband, showing his forehead, he’s wearing his usual baggy grandpa clothes. It makes your heart flutter, but you quickly push the feeling away. “ Yeah, but I have to go back to pick up my two pieces,” you shrug. 
“ You need a hand?” He offers with a careful smile.
You contemplate, you don’t want to make two trips, “ If you’re not busy…”
He eagerly shakes his head. “ I’m not, let me help.” Taehyung follows you to the art room, and picks up the pieces easily despite it being large canvases. There’s silence when you are done putting it in your car. 
“ Thank you,” you give him a grateful smile. “ Do you need to ride home?”
Taehyung took his car to campus but he lies, he accepts your offer in hopes that you guys can talk things over. The radio is on low, and Taehyung is almost near his apartment, “ I lied I don’t need a ride,” he starts off and you let out a surprise laugh.
“ Why are you just telling me now?,” you are about two minutes from the destination. 
“ I wanted to talk to you about what happened to us-”
You sigh, not wanting to reopen bandage wounds on your heart, “ Taehyung, I’m over it-” 
His head turns to face you, “ I love you. I think I always loved you since we became friends. I was scared to tell you because it was something so new for me...I was selfish, I thought that everything we had was fine but I never took your feelings into consideration.” He’s breathing really hard because he finally confessed his heart out, something he vowed he’ll never do since he was a child. 
“ Why? Why now?,” you swallow hard, not looking at him but only the road. Scared that if you look into his eyes, you’ll get lost into them. 
“ It took me a while to come in terms with how I am feeling. Because love is messy right?,” his voice cracks.
The car is now parked in his driveway, “ Yeah, it is.” Turning to finally face him, he has little tears in his eyes that haven’t fallen. “ I still love you, Taehyung,” your hand touches his soft cheek, caressing it. Taehyung leans closer to you and you close your eyes expecting a kiss, instead he sobs against your neck. Feeling wet tears against your neck, you try to coddle him but the tight space in the car is not giving you any room to do so. “ Tae, why are you crying?,” you comb the back of his curls.
Taehyung pulls away giving you a tearful smile, “ Because for the first time in my life I know what love is.”
end.
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faeri-meadow · 4 years ago
Text
Keep calm (Awesamdude x reader)
Okay! Enjoy psycho Dream and protective Sam!
TW: Attempted murder via choking, heaving.
While in any other situation quiet was calming, at this moment it was thick and uncomfortable. I was making my way through Pandora’s vault, going through all of the processes the warden gave me. I felt weak due to the potions and the haste, but continued on, I had to. I saw the wall of lava and watched as the lava stopped flowing, I stepped onto the platform and followed it to the main cell holding one of the worst people I’ve ever known. I stepped off the platform and watched as the lava once again flowed, not looking at the prisoner until I could no longer see Sam. “Ah, Sam told me I was getting a visitor, but I would have never guessed it’d be you (Y/N).” I slowly turned around, hands held behind my back, “Hmm, I suppose it is slightly out of character for me, but I thought it was time.” I took this time to take in his appearance, him doing the same in return. His hair was long, some parts matted, and his uniform was utterly disgusting, having several spots of XD knows what. What caught my attention most was his mask, it was nearly destroyed, and yet still held a portion of that ugly smile. “So, Dream, how have you been?” he motioned around the room with a wide, psychotic grin, “Wonderful! I’ve got all the journals I could ever want and a clock! ” I nodded, walking around the room, taking in the dark scenery to the best of my ability, “Looks cozy.”
 His grin only widened, showing his unnaturally long canines, “So! To what do I owe the pleasure of being in your presence (Y/N)? ” During my look around, he kept trying to walk closer to me, like a predator. “Did little Sammy talk you into seeing me? That would definitely be a surprise given the fact that whenever I’d ask for him to send a message to you, he would refuse. ” I looked at him with an unamused expression, “No, for your information I was genuinely curious as to how you’ve been. The warden has nothing to do with my visit. If you would prefer me to leave, however, I will gladly do so. “I turned around and started towards the lava wall, shouting for Sam to bring me back. I could hear the button to stop the lava be switched, but then there was a hand around my throat. “Oh no, no, no, I never said I wanted you to leave (Y/N), why don’t you stay a bit longer~” I clawed at his hand that tightened around my neck, the thought of just taking his last life crossed my mind, no, Tommy deserves his last life, not me. All I could do was watch as the lava sank slowly, waiting to see those green eyes on the other side. Before I could see them though a trident was thrown through the lava, piercing Dreams arm as well as nicking mine, the force driving us both into the back wall. The hand keeping me from breathing never left my neck, in fact, it got even tighter, “Release them.” I heard his voice before I saw his face, venom laced his tone. My heart pounded in my ears as my vision was fading, I could however make out my savior's form walking towards us, smoke leaking from his mask, green irises practically glowing against the blacks of his eyes. Then, everything, unfortunately went dark.
The next time I woke it was dark outside and I was in my house laying in my bed. I looked around to the best of my ability, the pain in my neck almost making the action impossible and saw nothing out of the ordinary. I sat up, albeit slowly, and lightly touched my neck, yanking my hand back when a wave of pain crashed over my body causing me to double over and heave. The door was thrown open and a hand was placed on my back rubbing it lightly, “You should lay back down, you’ve been through a lot (Y/N). “I tilted my head to see who was speaking, already having a good idea. Green irises stared at me as Sam helped me lie back down, his touch gentle. “Here, this should help your bruises and your arm.” He pulled out a bottle that held a pink fizzy liquid, a healing potion. I downed the potion quickly, waiting for the pain in my throat to fade away, I tried to utter a thank you, but I couldn’t speak. “It would be best if you didn’t speak until your bruises heal, it could cause trauma to your vocal cords. “He then let out a sigh and kneeled by the side of my bed, grabbing my hand and resting his forehead on my arm, “I’m sorry, I should have known he would do something. I should have been quicker. “I tightened my grip on his hand and slightly sat up motioning towards my neck, him being one step ahead of me pulled out a pen and journal from his inventory, handing it to me. It wasn’t your fault, I knew he would try something, I just didn’t want to risk taking his last life. I showed him the journal, giving him a warm smile, “It is though, he’s been asking for you, I can only assume to try and get to me. “I couldn’t help the confusion that laced my expression, practically begging him to continue, “I don’t think it is a secret that I care for you, especially after today's events. I think Dream saw right through my act, and while I hate the situation you had to be put into for me to finally admit this, I am happy that I told you. “
I let go of his hand and cupped his cheek, making him look at me. I pointed towards the mask that covered his face with my free hand and gave a silent request for him to take it off. He complied, unclipping the mask and letting it fall onto the bed, both of us just taking in the others features. His face itself was pale-ish, but it faded to a green on the edges, his ears pointed with the green covering the tips as well. There were freckles covering his face as well, different shades of green all standing out in the dark room. His eyes however are where my attention was caught once again, bright green irises sitting in dark black pools. I pulled his face close to mine and placed a kiss on his forehead, turning to write in the journal once more. When I tried to pull my hand away though, Sam held it in its place, rubbing his face into it. I released an airy laugh and wrote without the second hand, I tried to hide how I felt if I’m being honest, I didn’t think you wanted a relationship because of your job and those who may be after you, I didn’t want to be a burden. I once again showed him the journal, only for him to take it out of my hands when he was done reading. He held both sides of my face gently, my hand still cupping his, and leaned forward, “You are not a burden, never were, never will be. I know you are strong, I know what you are capable of. I don’t want you thinking that you have to hide anything to protect me.” Tears were gathering in my eyes as he held eye contact with me, when they fell, he was there to catch them and rub them away. He glanced down for a moment before coming to a conclusion and placing his lips onto mine. It was soft, as if he was worried he’d hurt me more, and yet it held all of the unspoken words that swirled around us both. When we parted, he placed his forehead onto mine, “We can protect each other, if you would like.” I opened my eyes and nodded, and then patted the spot next to me, allowing him to crawl under the covers. I slowly turned onto my side as Sam pulled me to his chest and started playing with his hair. We both let out content sighs at the peaceful atmosphere and started to doze off, “I love you (Y/N).” I cracked open my eyes and looked at him once more before giving him a peck on the lips and snuggling further into his chest. His chest rumbled as he let out a soft laugh, “I’ll take that as an ‘I love you too’.” I nodded to the best of my ability with my face being hidden in his shirt and we both fell asleep in each other's arms.
AN- Sorry it’s shorter than my other posts! I hope you enjoyed it!
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