#if you can recognize crush number 3 at the lower right you get. um. my humiliation 😭 weh /lh

[lovinggreeniehours]

the current situation. ara space train dating sim go

tagging @comfortingstars because she asked hfsdjjfsdgh

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

An Unspoken Rule Part Nine

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Notes: !! William’s texts are in bold; reader’s texts are in italics

Warnings: None?

Summary: "When did you stop having feelings for him?"

My mind blanked for a few moments. I was 90% sure that if I opened my mouth to answer, the only thing that would come out would be the AOL dial-up screech.

“Thanks for driving us.” It must’ve been the fifth time Layla had said it in the last half hour.

“No worries,” I said, glancing in the rear view at where William and Jake were in the back seat. Jake was all strapped into the car seat that he hated. He was usually whining to get out of it by now, but William was distracting him with Clifford the Big Red Dog.

“I mean we’ve just got these appointments all over the place— and with the car breaking down—“

“Layla, seriously, it’s all good. I’m glad I could help. Especially in the name of cake.”

I hadn’t been paying much attention to the radio, and had been letting Layla decide what we’d listen to. But when I heard the opening notes to Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still the One’, my hand shot out, changing the channel to another one without hesitation.

“Awww, hey! I like that song,” Layla pouted.

“Sorry,” I laughed out nervously, shaking my head. “Not a fan.”

“Really? We were thinking of using that for our first dance,” Layla said.

“Oh yeah?” I asked as enthusiastically as I could. I hadn’t listened to or thought of that song since Jake got over his terrible twos, and I didn’t intend on starting again.

“Wee-um? Wee-um?” Jake whined behind us.

“What’s wrong, bud?” I asked; Layla turned around to look at them.

“Will? What is it?” She asked. I heard him clear his throat, then mumble, “Lost my place.”

“Lost your place?” I repeated, raising my brows, “There are like five words on that page.”

“Eight,” he corrected before he went back to reading. I shook my head, smiling. I glanced at Layla once I stopped at the red light, only to find her still frowning back at William.

I pulled up in front of the bakery, parking the car and leaning back in my seat as I waited for William and Layla to climb out. Layla was out first, already heading for the door. They were already quite late.

"We'll see you later, bud," William said, kissing Jake's head. I turned around to look at them smiling.

"Say bye-bye to William, Jakey."

"Bye-bye, Wee-um," Jake mumbled, though he didn't look away from the book William had handed him. William glanced up at me as he took his seatbelt off.

"I thought you liked Shania Twain," He commented. I hesitated before answering:

"In high school, sure. Enjoy your cake."

"Thanks for the ride," William said as he got out of the car. He closed the door behind himself before joining Layla on the sidewalk. I gave them one more wave before I pulled the car away from the curb.

I spent the rest of the day with 'You're Still the One' stuck in my head, no matter what else I listened to.

----

"Can I ask you something?"

I looked up at Layla, away from the quotes for the venues.

"Ah, if it's about the bachelorette, I can neither confirm nor deny whether or not Becca has booked a stripper." She smiled a little.

"Not about that. About Will."

“What about Will?"

"When did you stop having feelings for him?"

My mind blanked for a few moments. I was 90% sure that if I opened my mouth to answer, the only thing that would come out would be the AOL dial-up screech.

Layla started to say my name, jolting me from my stupor.

"When I started dating David," I answered automatically before adding, "Well, before that. I mean. I didn't use David to get over Will, I was already way over Will." Layla nodded, looking back down at her guest list.

We returned to our tasks in silence before she spoke up again: "Why did you stop liking him?" I was never going to forgive Becca. Ever.

"What does that even matter?" I asked tiredly, looking up again.

"It-- It doesn't, I mean I'm just curious," Layla said defensively. I shook my head.

"I just... I grew out of it. It was a silly crush."

"Lasted a pretty long time."

"Yeah, well, I crush long and I crush hard."

"On who?" Layla and I looked up as William came into the kitchen. I lowered my head back to my work, mentally cursing the summer heat and the fact that William had taken to running shirtless.

"In general," I answered, drawing small stars next to two of the venues that met Layla's criteria.

"You oughta get back out there, you know. It's been a while since you broke it off with David. Babe, did you hear that story?" Layla asked, looking over at William. He didn't answer, and Layla launched into it. I frowned, brow furrowing. I could've sworn I'd told him what had happened.

"You seriously said 'I think he's talking to you'?" William asked, looking equal parts pained and amused. I hummed the affirmative.

"Thought you said it was because you two were too different," he continued.

"We are," I agreed, "He's the kind of guy to propose after two years, I'm the kind of girl that isn't ready to get married at 20."

"You could've had a long engagement," Layla pointed out.

"Yeah, and he could've asked me whether or not I even wanted to get married before he popped the question." I could hear myself getting defensive, and I cleared my throat.

"Okay. The ones I underlined are gonna be the best for your price point--" I said, turning the paper around for her.

"Will, don't you know anyone we can set her up with?" I felt heat flood my face.

"I just got stateside, sweetheart, and the one guy I think I'd set her up with is kind of a dick."

"Okay," I spoke up, "First of all, thank you for ruling out the dick. Second of all, can you two stop talking about this like I am not currently sitting at your kitchen table?"

Layla reached out, resting her hand on mine, diamond ring glinting in the light.

"We just want you to be happy,” She said gently. I pulled my hand back, reaching for my bag.

"I appreciate that, but this conversation is not the way to do it," I said. I got up, nudging the venue list a little closer to Layla.

"It's getting late, I'm gonna head out. Night, guys," I said, grabbing my bag before either of them had a chance to say anything else.

My phone was buzzing all the way back to my place. I pulled into my parking space before I pulled it out, checking it. Six missed calls and four texts from Layla, and another four texts from a number I didn't recognize.

From: Layla (3:21 pm) im just worried about you :(

From: Layla (3:34 pm) i get it, you're angry at me. i just wanna talk

From: Layla (3:49 pm) will pointed out that you're probably driving

From: Layla (4:03) call me when you get home pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase your venue picks were on point

From Unknown: (3:39) We didn't mean to talk over you. And for the record, Santiago is not that much of a dick. I've told you about him, you said he sounded cool.

Unknown: (4:11) Layla mentioned that you don't have my new number, but I think you can figure out who this is. If you can't I am going to be very disappointed.

Unknown: (4:14) Since when is 3 o’clock late for you?

Unknown: (4:15) You do realize that you said 'goodnight' to us in the middle of the afternoon, right?

I didn't answer either or their texts or call Layla. She didn't call or text me back for the rest of the night, though I did wake up the next morning to a single frowny face text.

To: Layla (9:32 AM) They're on point because I'm awesome.

To: Unknown (9:39 AM) No idea who this is

From: Unknown (9:40 AM) Ouch. /Ouch/.

From: Unknown (10:19 AM) Sorry about you and David.

To: Unknown (1:27 PM) It was over a year ago. I'm fine.

From: Unknown (1:32 PM) I thought you crushed long and crushed hard.

To: Unknown (1:41 PM) This was not that.

From: Unknown (1:48 PM) Then what was it?

To: Unknown (1:52 PM) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From: Unknown (1:58 PM) You do /actually/ know who this is, right?

To: Unknown (2:52 PM) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From: Unknown (2:53 PM) Is that the only way you're gonna answer me now?

From: Unknown (2:53 PM) Don't. Do not send it.

From: Unknown (2:54 PM) Do not.

To: Unknown (3:53 PM) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From: Unknown (3:55 PM) I don't like you.

To: Unknown (4:03 PM) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

From: Unknown (4:30 PM) Have you called Layla yet?

To: Unknown (4:38 PM) At lunch. I bet you'll hear about it when she gets home.

From: Unknown (4:39 PM) Good.

From: Unknown (4:40 PM) Sorry again about yesterday.

From: Unknown (4:41 PM) We do just want you to be happy.

To: Unknown (4:45 PM) What'll make me happier is not talking about this anymore.

From: Unknown (4:56 PM) Okay

To: Unknown (4:57 PM) Thanks

From: Unknown (5:51 PM) Layla mentioned something about you having a crush on someone in high school.

I didn’t answer that one. Neither of us ever brought it up again.

[ellixthea]

Unpredictable - Part 2

A/N: My last finals are tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier! Here’s the second part, hope you like it!

Tag list: @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @lauraurietaylor

During the party, when you saw Jo going inside the house, you followed her to get more information about this guy. “Jo, who is your new friend? I have never seen him before.” “Oh Colson? Yeah, I’ve met him like 2 months ago? We went to the same party and he is the friend of Mike’s best friend. He is a nice guy and very fun to party with. Why?” she asked you. “Oh um, I just wanted to know since I don’t know him.” You said and left. You felt so embarrassed that you needed to end this conversation. You didn’t know why you couldn’t stop think about him even though you were in the same place.

               The day was going on and you would sometimes glance at him. You would sometimes catch him look at you, but he would quickly look away. You didn’t know what was going on, but you tried not to over think it. Soon it was the night which meant it was time for the fireworks. Your dad set them in your garden, which by the way was large and soon enough the show was on. The night sky was replaced by blue, red, and green lights. It was amazing. Your sister was laying next to you on the grass. It was your “tradition”, to be laid next to each other during the fireworks. The party kept going until the next day and finished at around 1p.m. You were low key happy when everyone left because you needed to sleep but also a little bit sad because you didn’t know when you would see Colson again and if you would ever see him again. You helped your parents cleaning the house and you took a 3 hours nap. You woke at the end of the afternoon, feeling still tired.

               The next day would be Monday which meant that you would start working at your local music store. You needed to make money over summer and since you had already worked there before, they immediately agreed when you applied there. You were preparing your clothes for work when you heard your phone buzzing. It was Jo.

Jo: Hey, I’m throwing a party at my place next weekend, wanna come?

You: Yes, sounds good to me 😉 can’t wait!

You found yourself loving parties more than you excepted and you couldn’t wait for hers since they were always crazy. It was time for you to sleep since you had to get up early for work.

               The next morning, you woke up feeling tired, but you couldn’t deny that you were excited for your first day at work. You knew some people who worked there, and you were happy to see them again. You got ready and you were on your way to work. Once you were there, the boss explained to you what your work would consist of and you would arrange CDs, help customers if they needed you and you would sometimes be at the cashier. He explained you a few other things and then the stores opened which meant your day was beginning.

               Your colleague, Sam, that you met when you worked there last summer was there and you were happy to see him again. He was at the cashier for the day which meant you would help customers. The day was quiet until the middle of the afternoon. A group of guys came. They didn’t seem to need any help, so you kept what you were doing in one of the shelves. You were done with putting promotions on some articles when you turned around to go to another shelf when you assumed a member of the group came in the shelf you were already in. It took you a second before realizing who it was. Colson. You literally froze. When he saw that you were looking at him, he stopped walking as if he knew your face but was recalling from where. You stared at each other without saying a word for what felt like 10 minutes before one of his friends called for him. “Yeah I’m coming.” He said, turned around and left. You let out your breath that you didn’t notice you were holding before bringing yourself back to reality and do your work. It was awkward yet you kind of liked it. His eyes were a beautiful blue, his hair was messy but looked good, and his inked arms looked even more prettier.

               The rest of the week went faster than you expected which you didn’t mind. It was Friday and you were out to meet Lara for dinner. “So how was your first week?” she asked me, taking a bite of her cheeseburger. “It was good actually, Sam definitely made it funnie,r what about you?” “Well, working with my mom is cool but I couldn’t do what she is doing. Papers, papers and papers again. Too much for me.” She said and you laughed. You loved this human so bad. She looked at him with a smirk which meant something was on her mind. “What?” “I guess you forgot to talk to me about something.” She said and you panicked, and you had no clue what she was talking about. “You have to be more specific.” “The guy at your house last weekend. Did you get his number?” she asked, her smirk even more present. How the hell did she know. You haven’t talked to anybody about it. “Wh- What?” “I saw the way you looked at him. My girl has a crush!! So, do you have his number??” “No! of course not! Plus, he is my Jo’s friend I can’t.” “Oh c’mon! You know that Jo wouldn’t mind!” “Still! And I don’t have any way to contact him since you don’t have his number.” You said. You knew deep down that you wished that you had it. “Ask Jo then!” “No fucking way!” you replied and laughed. You just couldn’t. “It’s okay though, I don’t think of him that much since I don’t see him, besides on Monday he went to the store.” Lara looked at you with big eyes and almost spilled her drink. “Oh, dear Lord! Did you guys talk??” “Nope actually we stared at each other it was awkward but it’s okay there are minor chances that I see him again. Well unless he goes to Jo’s party tomorrow night.” And you stopped at the end of your sentence. You didn’t think of the possibility of him going to the party tomorrow and you started to freak out. “Oh my God!! Can I come??” “You know that you are always welcome to her parties.” “Okay so tonight I’m gonna pray that he will come tomorrow and trust me that if he does you will talk to him.” She said and you laughed. Knowing that Lara would be there was a relief, but you were still scared that he would show up.

               The next day, Lara met you at your parents’ house to get ready with you for the party. You weren’t supposed to be well-dressed, but you wanted to look good, just in case. You did your hair and makeup and you headed to your sister’s apartment.

               When you arrived, it was already crowed. Music was playing but not too loud. Lara and you made your way to the living room and Jo greeted you. “Girls! I’m glad you’re here. You know the place, make yourself at home and please don’t drink too much.” She said and gave you a warm smile before leaving you. You knew most people there, so you weren’t uncomfortable. Lara knew some of them as well, so it wasn’t awkward. “Okay I’m gonna get us a beer. Remember if you see him, don’t freeze and go talk to him.” She said and left without giving you a chance to say something back. You were standing there, not knowing what to do and hoping not to see at that moment when you felt two hands coming from behind, covering your eyes. “Guess who?” And by the voice you instantly knew it was Mike. “Um let me guess, Mike?” “How?” you turned around to face him. “Your voice. I could recognize it between a hundred.” You said and he looked defeated which made you laugh. Lara came back with your beer but left as soon as she came because she saw someone she hadn’t seen for a while. So, it was only Mike and you. “It’s been a while since the last time I saw you. I was happy when Jo told me you were coming tonight.” “I know! With uni and all, I’ve been busy. I’m happy to see you too. I hope you’re taking good care of Jo while ’m away.” “Oh, don’t worry about that. She’s between good hands with me.” He replied and you gave him a smile. You were talking when someone hold him a beer. You looked at the person and you froze when you realized who it was. Colson. You couldn’t run away. Stay cool and yourself. That was what you told yourself. “Thanks dude. Oh, by the way she’s Y/N. She’s pretty cool.” He said and winked at you. You didn’t know why he did that to be honest. “Yeah I already saw you right?” He asked, his blue eyes looking at you. You could feel your cheeks turning red.  “Yeah, you were at my parents’ house the 4th and we ran into each other the other day at the music store.” “Oh yes that’s right. Wait you’re Jo’s sister?” “I am.” You replied worried that your chances with him would be lower by answering his question. “Oh cool. I’m Colson by the way.” “Nice to meet you Colson.” You said smiling. You couldn’t deny that he was handsome. He started to talk with Mike and at the corner of your eyes you saw Lara making you huge signs, telling you to talk to him. “Okay” you mouthed and kept up with their conversation. During the conversation, he would glance at you which made you melt but you tried not make up ideas. After a while, you went to the balcony. You needed some air. You were looking at the city’s lights. The view was beautiful. It was the first time since your last relationship that you were feeling something for someone. You wanted to let yourself accept what you were feeling but also, you were scared to be hurt again. You were thinking about what was going on when you felt a presence next to you and it was Colson. Only Colson. “Hey.” He said to you and looked at the view. “Hey.” you replied, looking quickly at him. “What are you doing here all by yourself?” “Oh, I just needed some air.” “You okay?” “Yeah, don’t worry about me. So how come I have never seen you before. I mean I know every friend of my sister and she has never mentioned your name to me.” “Oh yeah, I’ve met her not so long ago, but we have a friend in common so yeah.” “Oh, that’s cool.” You simply replied. You didn’t know what to say even though you wanted to talk to him. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “So, tell me more about yourself.” You looked at him, but he was already looking at you. The way his eyes were leaned on you was giving you butterflies. “Well, I’m a college student so my life is basically classes, assignments and parties.” You said and you both laughed. “Oh, you like to party huh?” He asked, not breaking the eye contact. You loved the sound of his voice. Deep and calm. “I do yeah.” You replied smiling at him. You looked at him again and you just started at each other without saying a word. He looked down at you since he was very tall. You just stared and he eventually smiled which turned into a smirk. Suddenly, Jo opened the bay window which brought you back to reality. “Y/N! You must dance! I put this song especially for you.” She said and left. “Well I guess duty is calling me.” You said and left. Your heart was beating so fast and it was hard to process what have happened. You had a moment. Everything was perfect. You didn’t know and you wouldn’t want to think about it at that moment. You just wanted to dance on your song. you didn’t speak to Colson for the rest of the night since you would be in a conversation with different people, but you would glance at each other sometimes. It was around 4 a.m. when you left, and you didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to him since you couldn’t find him. When you arrived at your parents’ house, Lara fell quickly asleep leaving you the only one awaken, thinking about that night.

[ernmark]

More Human!Arum!

The con means I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this before Sunday, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to get it done by Tuesday.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

“Lord Arum? Who makes these roads?”

They’ve been traveling for most of the day, mostly along the elevated paths through the forest canopy. At the moment, the walkway is descending down a spiral around a tree, settling into a clear path of packed dirt.

“The monsters who live here,” Arum says. “Who else?”

“Why, though?”

Lord Arum looks at him like he’s just asked something tremendously stupid. “They make it easier to get from one place to another.”

“Well– yes, I suppose– but I’ve seen the way you take to the trees. I’m surprised you would bother with it.”

“Just because I can climb doesn’t mean I don’t want the option. And, I suspect, so do the monsters who do business with me.”

“Of course.” Damien isn’t sure he’ll ever entirely get used to it– that monsters have business dealings, an economy, a society. Not just Lord Arum, but most of them. All of them, perhaps.

There’s a thoughtful silence. “They’re markers, too, I suppose. When you see well-maintained paths, you know that the territory there is owned. That it’s cared for. When the paths are overgrown, it means there’s land without a master, and it’s free to whatever young upstarts have the tenacity to claim it.” He adds as an afterthought. “At the rate you knights go, land changes hands fairly quickly.”

Damien’s steps falter.

He knows precisely the number of monsters he’s killed. He’s taken pride in that number.

Lord Arum glances back at him, looking impatient. “Yes, humans kill monsters. And monsters kill humans. And often enough, both kill their own. I’ve had more than a few nestlings try to snatch my swamp from underneath me, and I’ve killed the ones who didn’t have the sense to run. I’m hardly torn up about it; I don’t see why you should be.” 

“And what of their families?” Damien asks quietly.

“You assume our families behave like yours.” 

“What about the– the people who will miss them when they’re gone, then?”

“What makes you think anyone would?”

Damien hesitates. “I would,” he admits quietly.

Lord Arum sighs. “Of course you would, delicate little honeysuckle.” He hooks a long finger under Damien’s chin and tips him up for a kiss. “I have no intention of dying. I’m going to be too preoccupied with keeping you safe.”

It would be a touching moment, if it wasn’t interrupted by a rumble of horrid laughter.

Lord Arum’s face goes stony, and he twists away from Damien to face the source of the sound.

“Oh, don’t stop now!” cries a grating, booming voice. “Do go on. Tell me, do you have any other heartfelt confessions to make?” As it breaks into another squeal of laughter, Damien can finally make out the shape: it’s an ogre, its skin a craggy brown and patched with ivy, mirroring the tree behind it. But as it stills, the edges of its shape blur and fade, and it seems to vanish into the background again. “Lord Arum, was it? You’ve changed your look– I hardly recognized you.”

Lord Arum hisses, his teeth bared. “You’re the one who did this to me.”

“Come to thank me, have you? You certainly look like you’re enjoying yourself.” The ogre laughs again, sounding for the world like a boulder rolling over bones. “Really, Lord Arum. You’ve been so moon-eyed over humans, it was just a matter of time before you went and joined them.”

“You pathetic double-crosser, we had a deal,” Lord Arum snarls. Behind him, Damien discreetly draws an arrow from his quiver and nocks it to the string. “You will reverse this at once.”

“Or what?” the ogre asks. “You’ll stop doing business with me? You’ll spoil my reputation?”

Lord Arum’s voice is sharp as obsidian. “Or I’ll kill you.“

“Ah yes, with your big sharp claws,” she crows. “And all those teeth! And knives– oh yes, can you even use those any–”

She gives a yelp as an arrow embeds itself into the tree a few inches from her face.

Damien grits his teeth. He was aiming for her hand, but somehow it got lost in the rest of the camouflage. Still, the point was made rather succinctly.

“Oh-ho!” the ogre cries. “So your human isn’t just some pretty bauble to hang off your arm? Oh, do let me try it on!” She waves her hand, and the vines overhead come to life. He makes to dive out of the way, but his feet are quite literally rooted to the ground, caught in the writhing tendrils that rise out of the forest floor.

While he tries to pry the roots off his feet, the other vines creep lower, catching him by the arm. Another reaches for his bow, yanking it into the canopy. When he tries to pull it back, the vines crawl down his arm, shackling him in place. More vines wrap around his shoulders, his chest, his throat, and as they tighten around him, they pull. The air is smothered from his throat and crushed out of his lungs, and all the while he can hear his bones creaking and groaning from the pressure.

“Damn it, honeysuckle!” Lord Arum slashes at the vines over Damien’s head, and the constricting force around his throat goes slack.The vines that have Damien’s arms are thicker, and so he has to saw frantically before the first one snaps. He pushes his knife into Damien’s hand and draws another. While Damien liberates his other hand, Lord Arum carves away the roots at his feet.

“Are you hurt?” Lord Arum asks, pulling the withering vines from Damien’s arm.

The bow is long gone. And so, it seems, is the ogre. The place where she stood is empty. She might have moved on by a few feet or she might be gone from the clearing altogether. There’s no point in looking for her. If she’s hidden, she won’t risk being seen to move again.

So he tries another tack, all but draping himself over Lord Arum’s chest. “I am, thank you.” 

Lord Arum looks slightly alarmed. “What are you–”

Damien leans in and catches his eye. “Play along,” he whispers, barely audible between the two of them.

“With what?” Lord Arum whispers, just as low.

“She seems to be a fan.”

“Of all the–”

Damien throws his arms around Lord Arum’s neck. “Play along,” he urges again.

“You’re not very good at this.”

“I’m a poet, not an actor.”

“Then don’t act.”

Before Damien can reply, Lord Arum kisses him so hard it takes his breath away.

Somewhere overhead, a the ogre clears her throat.

The kiss continues, bruising in its intensity. Lord Arum pushes Damien backward until he falls against a tree, and Lord Arum is upon him once again, this time making his way down Damien’s jaw and onto his neck.

“Lord– Lord Arum,” Damien gasps.

“It was your idea,” is hissed into his throat.

Damien throws his head back, his eyes wide open. And so he can see the edges of a shape start to define themselves as the ogre creeps closer. Her shape resolves enough that he can see her squinting at them through the distant trees.

“Ahem,” the ogre says, more directly this time. “Am I interrupting you?”

Lord Arum ignores her in favor of pulling at Damien’s shirt. Damien’s blush is no act– he has no idea how far Lord Arum intends to take this charade, and he’s not sure how comfortable he is getting any more intimate in front of an audience.

“Hello?” The ogre steps even closer, her form almost entirely opaque.

It’s all the opportunity Damien needs. He lets the dagger fly. The ogre wreaths herself in invisibility once more, but it’s too late. The blade hits its mark, and now its hilt marks her like a beacon. Instinctively she draws it out, and a splash of dark blood sets her apart from the background. There’s no invisibility that will hide her.

At the sound of its shrieking, Lord Arum rises to his full height and turns to face the ogre, a blade in each hand. Damien leans in, drawing the last dagger from Lord Arum’s belt perhaps more suggestively than is absolutely necessary.

“Get back!” she shrieks, brandishing the knife that was just inside her a few moments before. “Get back! I’ll–” She waves her hand again, and the vines resume their menacing coil, but their movements are sluggish and slow.

“Having difficulty focusing?“ Lord Arum says, striding toward her. “Pain will do that to magic.”

She tries to run, but even at a walk, he’s faster.

The dirt road at his feet turns to quicksand, but he marches past it before it can suck at his ankles.

The ogre trips on one of her own raised vines and crashes to the ground. She’s cowering now.

“I’m warning you!” she cries. “If you kill me, you’ll never break the spell. You’ll be human forever!”

He grabs her by the collar, the knife still folded in his fist. “I think I’ll manage. You, however…”

She throws her hands up. “All right! All right! Your point is made. I’ll change you back right now, shall I? I’ll– I’ll pay you twice what I gave you for that headscarf. Triple. Even throw in something shiny for your… um…” She waves frantically at Damien, unsure of what to call him.

“The spell,” Lord Arum growls. “Now.”

“Of course, of course,” she says, and draws a bloodstained silk headscarf from her pocket. “I keep it on me at all times, see? To keep the magic running. It takes so much out of me, but it’s worth it, don’t you think? To turn the Queen of the Citadel into a–”

“Now.”

She squeaks and pulls away. In the same instant, the headscarf bursts into flame. For a moment the silk twists in the air, billowing in its own heat, and then it’s consumed entirely, accompanied by the sound of tearing fabric.

The man who stood over her is gone. In his place is Lord Arum, tall and proud despite the torn clothes hanging off his frame. He flexes his claws– all four of them– and his tail uncurls experimentally.

“See?” the ogre asks, crawling back. “Everything’s fixed, just like you asked. Now let me just go get your money, and we’ll call it even–”

She doesn’t get the chance to finish that sentence before Lord Arum’s knife carves through her throat.

“That was for hurting Damien,” he says, cold and deadly calm. “Now we’re even.”

[queer-alien-space-princess]

Pastry Dates and Other Firsts

This was beta'd by the wonderful, amazing, @megupic on tumblr. We were matched up through @miraculousbeta, also on tumblr.

To be clear, this is an AU where Adrien never attended public school. Therefore, Marinette never had the obsessive crush on Adrien, but she still wanted to keep things professional between her and Chat.

Read On AO3 and comment!

Adrien couldn't help but be drawn in by the pretty girl behind the counter. There was just something about her…

This was his second time visiting this bakery just to see her again, though he would never admit it. He waited impatiently, fiddling with his phone, hoping that someone had texted him to make him seem less creepy. Of course, no one had. Being the last one in line after the morning rush was more awkward than he thought it would be.

“Hi, welcome to Tom and Sabine’s! What can I get for you?”

Adrien nearly dropped his phone. “Oh, uh, sorry. Um… a cheese danish, please, and um…” He stared blankly at the pastries in the display case. “Sorry, I don’t know that much about pastries… so I have no idea what's good or not.”

The young woman, who was about his age, standing behind the register raised an eyebrow in half disbelief. “Well…” she mused. “A cheese danish is about the most basic pastry you can get.” The young woman wasn’t wearing a nametag so he had no idea as to her name. Her hair was held back in two pigtails on either side of her head, held up with pink ribbons. The ribbons offset the blue notes to her hair beautifully. Adrien half wondered what she would look like in professional lighting.

He grinned. “That sounds good, I really like cheese.” Lie. He was just going to give it to Plagg.

She smiled back. “Do you have a preference for sweet or savory things?”

“Sweet things. I snuck frosting and candy and stuff from the kitchen when I was growing up.”

She laughed softly. Adrien was struck by just how familiar her laugh sounded. He couldn't place from where, for the life of him. “I had a friend tell me the exact same thing the other night.” She picked up a pastry he didn't recognize and slipped it into the bag. “Chocolatine. No Parisian should go without trying it at least once.” She picked up another one. “Profiterole,” she explained. “It's just choux pastry with cream in the middle.” She put it in it’s own separate bag. “Madeleines. One of my favorites. It's a bit heavier than other pastries but I love it. It has a bit of a lemon flavor too. Some patissieres make them with almonds, we just happen not to, so no need to worry.” She handed them over. “These are just a few basic pastries.”

Adrien pulled out his wallet and, with a minor bit of difficulty due to his card sticking, pulled out his card. He slid it through the machine, and followed the instructions on the screen. “Thank you for helping.”

She nodded. “I’m glad to! Enjoy!” She stayed behind the register, counting all the things that would need to be replaced.

It was frustrating and a bit disheartening to realize that he didn't have a reason to stick around, so he turned and awkwardly slunk out of the building.  As he walked into the nearby park, he pulled out his phone to text his best friend. He had met Nino through the tumblr he had secretly made for himself a few years back. Through Nino, he had met Alya. And to continue the networking trend, she had tried hard over the years about introducing Adrien to a friend of hers, but nothing ever came from it.

From: Litter-ally a Cat To: Brother From Another Mother (10:32) Okay. Serious question time.

From: Brother From Another Mother To: Litter-ally a Cat (10:33) Am I going to regret this?

Adrien lowered himself onto a nearby bench, letting out a quiet sigh of contentment. It wasn't very often that he had the chance to just relax like this. He checked his phone, realizing Nino had texted back.

From: Litter-ally a Cat To: Brother From Another Mother (10:35) …………maybe.

From: Brother From Another Mother To: Litter-ally a Cat (10:35) Shoot.

From: Litter-ally a Cat To: Brother From Another Mother (10:36) I went back to that bakery I told you about. The cute girl was working there again.

It was almost a minor miracle: for the first time in just over three years, Adrien Agreste had noticed someone other than Ladybug. Yes, he was in love with the heroine. However, after three years of partnership and no real clue that she returned his feelings, he was starting to give up. Ladybug was his first love, and he would always be a bit in love with her, but he needed to move on.

There was a pause as the text bubble started and stopped multiple times. Adrien opened the bag and pulled out the cheese danish, waving it in front of the opening of his jacket where Plagg resided. “Here. It's all I could get on such short notice.”

Plagg all but fell out of his hiding place. “Finally!” the kwami huffed, surveying the snack with a sour expression “You drag me all over the city and all you get me is a danish? What do I look like to you? Tikki?”

Before Adrien could ask who or what Tikki was, his phone buzzed in his hand. He picked it up to view his messages while Plagg attacked the pastry, zeroing in on the cheese inside.

From: Brother From Another Mother To: Litter-ally a Cat (10:39) Woah, wait. Are you telling me that my main man finally has a crush??? Besides Ladybug??? Oh my god is this what shock feels like???

From: Litter-ally a Cat To: Brother From Another Mother (10:39)

(10:40) But no seriously. Is it creepy to ask her for her number?

From: Brother From Another Mother To: Litter-ally a Cat (10:40) As long as you aren't gross about it, I see no reason why not.

Adrien let out a high pitched whine that was more suited to his Chat Noir persona than his civilian self and let his head fall forward onto his chest. Plagg flattened his ears against the noise but continued to eat.

From: Litter-ally a Cat To: Brother From Another Mother (10:40) Dude, it's gross for a guy to hit on a girl while they're working! Why wouldn't this be?

From: Brother From Another Mother To: Litter-ally a Cat (10:41) Have you met yourself? You are the literal embodiment of sunshine, and you don't have a gross bone in your body. You'd probably get all flustered and tongue tied. (10:41) Just ask her for her number!

The danish finished, Plagg flew up to Adrien’s eye level. “Hey, kid. You're making noises that make my ears hurt. Cut it out.”

He listed his gaze to look at the kwami. “Do you think I should ask that girl for her number?” He wasn't expecting much in the way of advice from the God of Chaos and Destruction.

Plagg hissed slightly. “That's not my area of expertise. Stick to cheese. It's much less demanding.”

Adrien rolled his eyes and looked back at his phone. He needed a second opinion on this. Alya would be perfect.

He hoped.

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:45) Alya. You're a girl.

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:46) Oh well spotted.

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:46) *winces* (10:46) I didn't mean it like that. (10:46) I just wanted to know if you'd clear something up for me. (10:46) Sorry, Al…

To: Squad Goals From: Brother From Another Mother (10:46) You done fucked up now, boi.

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:46)

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:47) I forgive you. (10:47) What’s up?

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:48) So there's this girl who works at a local bakery. Is it creepy if I ask her for her number? I think so, Nino doesn't.

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:50) Oh my god, Nino! Our precious sunshine child is growing up! Soon he’ll be going on dates and he won't need his parents anymore! But I'm so proud of him! He wants to get a girl’s number!

To: Squad Goals From: Brother From Another Mother (10:50) I know, right??? I couldn't be more proud of him.

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:50) I'm still here…

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:51) Back to the question. It depends on how you ask. Like, I have a friend who works in her parents’ shop. Just don't ask her to come out to your car so you can show her a good time. (10:51) It’s happened.

Adrien stared at his phone in horror and disgust. Plagg had moved so he could see his chosen’s phone. He hissed, tail thrashing against Adrien’s neck in disapproval. “Do human males actually do that? I'm a cat and I find that disgusting.”

“I'm a human male and I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:52) Oh god no. Never. I wouldn't. I don't want to be creepy. (10:52) It’s usually pretty creepy for a guy to hit on a girl while she’s working. ...right?

To: Squad Goals From: Brother From Another Mother (10:53) We raised you right.

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:53) Don't worry, sunshine, I know you aren't like that. It was just an example of what not to do. (10:53) It can be creepy. (10:54) But as long as you make it clear that you don't think she was flirting with you because she smiled at you, you should be okay. (10:54) LMAO I was thinking the same thing. <3

To: Squad Goals From: Litter-ally a Cat (10:55) ...how do I do that?

To: Squad Goals From: Ladyblogger (Nino’s gf) (10:55) Oh you sweet summer child.

Adrien finished his pastries robotically while Alya texted the finer points of not being a creep when asking someone out while they were working.

He had to admit, the chocolatine was probably his favorite. But then again, he loved anything with chocolate. He stuffed Plagg in his pocket, much to the very vocal disappointment of the tiny god, who wasn’t used to Adrien manhandling him. “Time to go.” He stood, glancing around to make sure there wasn’t any press lurking nearby, before making his way out of the park.

He skimmed through his contacts until he came across the one he wanted. Gwen was a model, originally from England, who had worked in a shop while trying to jumpstart her career. Adrien had met her when she was 17 and he was 15 at a photoshoot, just before he had become Chat Noir. She wasn’t necessarily his best friend, but she was someone he could go to for advice and support. She would be perfect to ask. And she’d probably side with him.

Hopefully.

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:24) Hey.

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:25) This is the first step in horse manure!

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:25) ???

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:26) Sounds so much better in English. (11:26) Hay is the first step in horse droppings!

Adrien slowly read the English sentence. He knew English fairly well, but it’s syntax and structure was still weird. He figured it must be an idiom.

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:31) Weird but okay. (11:31) Can I ask you something?

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:31) Of course!

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:32) So there's this girl who works at a local bakery. Is it creepy if I ask her for her number? I think so, Nino doesn't.

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:32) No. I don't think so.

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:33) Ugh, you, Nino and Alya.

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:34) This is coming from the girl who got hit on at work by weirdos all the time. Innocently asking for a number isn't creepy. Saying something sexual is. (11:34) I don't think asking for a number is that bad. (11:34) Saying, “Hey, girl, do you want to come back to my hotel room with me to model that sexy body of yours?” is. (11:35) Yes that’s been said to me before.

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:36) Here I was, hoping you'd be in my corner.

Why should Adrien even be surprised no one agreed with him? He did have the ultimate bad luck charm on him.

To: Litter-ally a Cat From: Gwen (11:36) Lol nope. I don't think asking for a number is that bad.

Adrien stopped in front of his house, realizing that he had walked all the way home without noticing. He groaned. He had snuck out earlier to see the girl at the patisserie. “Hey, Plagg,” he said, stuffing his phone in his pocket.

“Noooo,” Plagg groaned, knowing what was coming.

“C’mon. I have to get back inside.”

The tiny god glowered up at him. “Fine. But you owe me an extra wheel of Camembert.”

Adrien grinned as he ducked behind a bush that he had used as cover many times before. “Plagg, claws out!” The transformation washed over him, leaving him with that strange tingling feeling he always got when he transformed. He took another glance around, making sure that no one was looking at him. He used his baton to propel himself through the air and onto the balcony above his room. Using his baton, he gently nudged the window open. Satisfied that he wasn’t going to crash into the glass and break it, Adrien dropped off the balcony, swinging his body so he had the momentum to land in his room tucking into a roll as he landed. “Plagg, claws in.

The transformation released and Plagg floated in front of him. “Cheese please.”

Adrien laughed softly as he opened the door and slipped into the hallway. He pulled his phone back out to reply to Gwen.

To: Gwen From: Litter-ally a Cat (11:42) Ugh. You're the worst. I'm going to go sleep off all my problems.

After a pit stop in the kitchen to get Plagg more Camembert, Adrien slowly made his way to his room, dragging every step and collapsed onto the bed. There was no way that he'd be able to ask the pretty girl for her number.

Okay, to put this in context.

About a week ago, I ran into this really cute guy who works at a local grocery store. We spent half an hour talking about Pokémon Sun. Well, like, three days ago, I was at the store with my mother, and I waved at the guy. He waved back. My mother, lovely wonderful woman she is, asked in a super loud voice, “Who was that cute young man back there?” I think I died.

Actual quote that I wasn't able to work in: “Don't buy a game, get some game!” (This coming from my brother who basically had to be locked in a room with his current SO to get them together.)

Anyway, long story short, these are basically the texts that resulted from this awkwardness.

Cast of characters is as follows: Adrien: Me Nino: My brother Alya: A friend of my brother’s and me Gwen: A friend of mine

By the by, I own Gwen, she is mine.

Brownie points if you spotted the Harry Potter reference.

Double brownie points if you spotted the Leverage reference.

After this chapter, this will no longer follow my own life as Adrien has far more game than I do.