#if you blindly defend someone accused of things bc you think theyre a good person or w/e all youre doing is showing you dont care

[xumoonhao]

to people either blindly defending mingyu or, on the other end of the spectrum, demonizing him...whatever happened to minding your own goddamn business and waiting until official statements have been made? twitter aint a damn supreme court and cant convict people. jesus CHRIST some of yall need to learn critical thinking skills

[stitchedcurses]

im just gonna vent vibe under cut 

ok so like i forgot i had a tumblr and im so thankful rn bc i just wanna vibe (i.e. vent) without upsetting anyone ahhaaaaaa

im like sorta sad bc two people that i really care about hate each other??

or, to be more accurate: one of the people (person a) hates the other and the person who is being hated (person b) has literally no idea that’s even happening?

and im not going to impose my views or opinions on people, and i can understand that person a might not like person b because of a misunderstanding that happened, but, i was there when it happened and i listened to the perspectives of everyone who was involved, so i feel like i have a good understanding of what happened and i feel like i can safely say that it was all a misunderstanding and it happened because of a lack of communication! 

but, because of person a’s personality and experiences they had in the past (that were similar to what happened) therye really upset at person b and were very heated about the situation as a whole. (they listened to one side of the story and were immediately upset and didnt listen to person b’s side. i dont think person b is evil, or all to blame, but i can agree that they handled some things poorly. both people did, but person a only listened to one side of the story and didnt get the full picture)

i thought that maybe once time passed theyd maybe be more calm and look at the situation more rationally once the heat of the moment had passed, but theyre still very angry and mad at person b. (this entire situation happened like 6 months ago, so its been a good while)

this, in and of itself isnt good, but its something im okay with respecting because i can understand that emotions are powerful and i cannot change person a’s opinion, nor should i impose my views on them

what’s making me really upset though, is that person b is trying to make an effort to be nice to person a, and person a is making really really mean vague posts about them? posts accusing them of being selfish and deceitful and fake, when none of these things are true at all and thats whats really upsetting me because i think its just such a mean thing to do? 

and i dont want to say anything to person a because they have a right to post what theyd like on their social media, since it’s theirs and i have no business telling them what they can and cannot post but it makes me so sad to see? because before i knew who they were talking about i was like “wow this must be such a horrible person and im so sorry you have to deal with them” but now that i know who theyre talking about, i can safely say that those things arent true!!! 

theyre not true at all, and person b and person a share a lot of mutual friends! and i can see that those mutual friends have interacted with the post, and im pretty sure they dont know who person a is talking about and so it makes me really sad to see? because i think if they know who person a was talking about they wouldnt agree, but its also not my position to tell them nor do i think that telling anyone who person a is vaguing about would help! i think it would make everything much much worse...

to person a’s credit, they have given 0 hints as to who theyre talking about and so i can respect that i guess? theyre venting but keeping the drama to themselves and i respect that...

person a talked to me today about everything, and said that theyd try to change their attitude only for the other friends that they care about, and they told me that they likely wont ever change their view on person b.

i told person a id respect their choice, and in their defense all the vague posts were made before they talked to me and vented their frustrations, so im sure that the vague posts were just a way to vent! but reading over them, therye so mean and hateful that it really hurts to see that?

maybe i shouldnt take it so personally, but i have had to deal with people being vague and back and forth and secretly hating one another all my childhood within my family and it makes me so tense and nervous and anxious and rationally, though i know i shouldnt feel this way, im so anxious and i keep having such scary thoughts thinking that all of my friends actually hate me and that i annoy them and bother them, and i know i shouldnt think this way but this entire situation is giving me flashbacks to all of my family problems and i made this group of friends to get away from those problems so now i kinda feel like i dont have any safe place at all and i really dont know what to do

i cant talk to person a about how i feel because i already told them its ok and telling them how i really feel now would only make them feel worse and theyre already so angry and touchy right now and i cant tell person b because theyd feel really bad that person a hates them and its just really difficult because i cant talk to anyone outside of them because i dont want them to talk to anyone else about the situation that's happening since i want it all to stay secret / private and ive just been on the brink of crying on and off all day today from this

i just wanted to have fun with the people i care about but its just upsetting to me because ive talked to person b about person a and theyre very sweet when talking about them and they have said they seem nice but person a is being just so hateful (for lack of a better word)

theyre the type of person to hold a grudge and ive had issues with them before, but weve moved passed all of those but they still have some little habits of passive agression that make me uncomfortable

but at the same time, this person is such a wonderful friend who i care a lot about and they care about me a lot, and i know that they do which is why im only more conflicted with everything.

i understand that the issue is between them but i feel like its all my fault somehow and im jsut really upset about everything. i dont know why this makes me feel like a bad person,but it does... it makes me think i havent defended person b enough? i dont know... im really tired and sad about this.

i dont know what to do and i know realistically everyone wont get along but i think person a has anger issues that they should maybe work with and learn to deal with and person b has a bad habit of taking everything personally and getting very anxious and paranoid, but they know about their problems and i know that theyre working on them...

im just kinda shocked i think? because i know person a can get angry and ive known that, but ive never seen them direct such hatred towards someone that im friends with and who many of their friends are friends with. it makes me feel like person a is maybe a little stubborn? theyre holding a grudge against a person that all their other friends are friends with and so theyre taking their word over the word of many people... im not saying they should be blindly faithful and im likely looking into this too much, but im just trying to understand for my own sake why im so hurt by this and i think that it has to do with the fact that it makes me feel like person a doesnt trust my judgment nor the judgment of any of their friends? 

i feel like person a in this situation has let me see another side of them? and it makes me think about some abusive family members and how theyd be angry and wouldnt listen to anyone elses views and i think that maybe its not so much person a, and it might be more my experiences? 

but it still hurts me a lot, a lot a lot and its making me wonder if theis friendship is going to last? i feel like the next time i see person a i wont know how to react to them and im worried i might cry

a friend right now offered to talk to me about it but im afraid and my throat is so tight i can barely talk without my voice shaking and i feel like if i do start talking ill start crying and they wont be able to understand me... 

this is so long but i feel a little better i think. realistically i dont think anyone read this, and im okay with that! on the off chance that someone did, then thank you, im sorry for whining and im sure it sounds silly... i know there are bigger problems but im stumped right now...