#if you are please ask cause id love to talk about it :3

[meowsticmarvels]

Does Phi want to live or die: an insane essay because I can't stop thinking about it [PART I]

hi!!! so i said not too long ago (like literally a few hours ago) that i'd been working on this analysis but considering this post is getting very long and tumblr's glitching and bugging out a lot (it's over 6k words!) i'm gonna post this part first as is as a little treat, and the second part will come a bit later once i write the rest of it. i'll link it here once it's done!

I've been meaning to write a proper analysis on Phi for a while (see my more proper grammar while writing this which is Unusual for me) and while there is too much of her I think abojt a lot to write ONE BIG ANALYSIS I think this topic is a pretty good one. There's a lot to be said in the wake of all of this on how Phi feels about herself and the roles she's meant to play and her own self-worth, the affects of Radical-6, and the impact the events of VLR have left on her onto ZTD (spoiler alert: it's trauma) which I will get into here. Will be up for further commentary if anyone has any + if there's any other particular topic I find interesting about her (I.e. her familial relationships, the matter of trust in her dynamics with others, her backstory/mysterious presentation and framing, or analyses where i could say how a hc would affect the narrative e.g. her being trans. id love to talk abojt that sometime.) i might get into that another time

i will preface this with a few notes:

1. If you're a little confused at why I'm even asking this it's because there's a bit of a disparity on if Phi seems to be okay with the idea of dying or not. it seems to vary by timeline and circumstance and by what the purpose of her death would be and THAT'S what I'm digging into. basically "is she okay with the idea of being a sacrifice". parts i will be looking at PRIMARILY will be K End and Another Time End in VLR and Fire / Outbreak (D-END 1) of ZTD, but others will be mentioned obviously

2. she is NOT okay with the idea of people dying FOR her and I will get into that also

3. Of course spoilers for VLR and ZTD will be in this post, and while 999 isn't really going to be discussed at all since she's not in that game by proxy as sequels they will spoil it too. So please I'd reccomend only reading this if you've played all 3 games and/or are okay with spoilers if you haven't. But I won't be giving exposition to the plot here.

4. Additionally, I'm going to warn for talks of a lot of death (obviously), trauma, and self destructive behavior/suicidal ideation. Radical-6 by nature IS going to cause this but the nature of the topic also means the things I'm going to be talking about in the way Phi views herself is going to be a little fucked up. She's fucked up.

5. Any screenshots used will likely be taken trom someone's playthrough or the LP Archive, however I'm planning on just inserting quotes into the text when possible.

anyways!!! here comes the analysis. LONG post incoming

TABLE OF CONTENTS (only I-VI are in this post)

- VLR -

I. SURVIVAL OF THE SELFISH

II. K END

III. RADICAL-6

IV. ANOTHER TIME

- ZTD -

I. SURVIVAL OF THE SELFISH

V. AFTERMATH

VI. FIRE

VII. OUTBREAK

VIII. SUPPRESSION

IX. SELF-DEFINITION

At the start of Virtue's Last Reward and throughout most of the plot mostly early game Phi could very well be described as a selfish person. She acts in her own self interest primarily and will betray others if it means guaranteeing her own survival. It's not that she's completely against cooperation, otherwise the end wouldn't happen, and she isn't willing to go so far as to kill to save herself, but this is still important to consider. One day I'll get more into the nature of trust and how she pushes people away but I'm just going to mention it a bit here. The nature of the AB Game requires complicated moral dilemmas like this. Some characters are more selfish or selfless than others and will betray or ally in specific circumstances, and during the start of VLR, Phi could definitely be seen as the latter.

SIGMA: Damn... you're pretty cold, you know that? PHI: I prefer bold, but whatever. I just don't let emotions get in the way.

This is an interesting line in of itself that she doesn't actually LIKE being perceived as cold - and states here that she just "doesn't let emotions get in the way". Which I assume is both her own and other people's. Despite her cold and unemotional demeanor she does really feel a lot of things quite deeply, as evidenced by Way too many scenes for me to list, it's just something she tries not to let get in the way of decision making. Usually. This is important. But what's also important is her actual opinion on acting this way, on routes where she talks about the Prisoner's Dilemma:

PHI: In this game, if each individual acts for the benefit of the whole group, everyone benefits. But if everyone starts looking out for themselves, it'll impact the group negatively... And eventually it'll impact them negatively too. If all of us choose "betray" then the group gets 0 points. Ultimately, nobody benefits. Not even the individual. In other words, selfish but logical decisions hurt everyone, and they hurt you.

before I get into what this means, I'll also bring up this segment:

SIGMA: What you're saying is that I should pick "ally". PHI: No. I mean the opposite. SIGMA: What?! PHI: If you're going to make the most logical choice here, the only option is "betray". SIGMA: What?! Why?! You just explained why that was a terrible idea! PHI: No, I didn't. It's not the prisoner's solution. It's the prisoner's dilemma. Even though there's an outcome where everybody's happy, the choice you'd have to make for that outcome isn't the rational one. You want to pick it, but you can't. A dilemma.

This is at its core the heart of how the AB Game works, really. The ideal of the game WOULD be for everyone to Ally and escape together, which is what happens in Phi End, but not with countless (we see 20+) other timelines in which that doesn't happen because of various reasons that people can't cooperate or die too soon. It's a dilemma. You can't really guarantee how the other person will act, unless it's someone like Dio or Luna who will almost exclusively Betray or Ally respectively, but even they don't always act that way and have reasons for doing so. It's incredibly difficult and perhaps even ridiculous to expect all 9 players - all strangers - to vote Ally, especially with preconceived notions of eachother and secret personal goals to escape. And Phi is incredibly conscious of this. She knows she can't trust anyone to for sure Ally, but Betraying is a "safe" option especially in the first round and the more logical to protect yourself. Even if it means getting others into the 1 BP territory. She plays the game carefully. Even though in the first round she isn't actually supposed to know that dropping to 0 BP or below will kill you and only really knows because of morphogenetic field/time jump stuff, based on that inexplicable feeling she acts this way. The fact that everyone Allies in Phi End at the later point is almost a fucking miracle.

There's a lot I could go into in terms of Phi and the nature of trust in the AB Game but my main focus for bringing this up is protecting herself to survive. A desire to stay alive, in some way, e.g. instances where she has only 1 BP.

In contrast to all the Phi End talk here's the "everyone Betrays" scenario on tbe way to Alice End. Naturally Betraying when going against Dio is the logical option but there's a LOT of risk involved here.

ALICE: Two other people just tried to kill someone! SIGMA: Phi and Dio. ALICE: Yes! If Dio had chosen "ally", Phi would have killed Tenmyouji. And if she'd chosen "ally", Dio would have killed her.

Funnily enough this is not the only time Dio attempts to kill Phi (see: Dio End which Phi also DOES retaliate at him for. i love violence). But my point is here the weight in the decisions here. Both Allying OR Betraying is insanely risky for Phi in this scenario. An Ally, and Dio has no qualms with letting her die. With Tenmyouji out of the picture to take care of Quark, Betraying is the safest option. Even Alice says it's a "valid defensive move". But what's really interesting is the conversations this sparks.

TENMYOUJI: Hmph. Hard to trust someone who tried to kill me. PHI: Same to you. I told you letting Dio vote was a stupid idea. What did you think he was going to do? You might as well have pressed the button yourself! TENMYOUJI: I couldn't just leave Quark alone. PHI: That's no excuse. And where do you get off telling me I shouldn't have picked "betray"? Did you even think that through? What, I was supposed to pick "ally"? If I'd done that, I'd be dead right now! TENMYOUJI: I could say the same thing to you! Damn good thing Dio didn't choose "ally"!

This conversation is so so interesting to me. It puts a rift between Phi and Tenmyouji where there wasn't before because the other could've been killed, and Dio stands in the way of all of this by virtue of voting for Tenmyouji. There's a LOT I could say here especially on Tenmyouji's sake about Quark, but my focus is Phi here. Take a look at the text I put in bold above - "If I'd done that, I'd be dead right now". Which doesn't mean a whole lot on its own other than that Phi is willing to protect her own life at this point, but keep this in mind for future reference as it's a major contrast from a lot of other things she says on the topic of death.

II. K END

I'm not going to preface this by listing everything that happens in this ending, but all you need to know is at the point I'm focusing on, eventually K(yle), Dio, and Phi need to go through one of the white Chromatic Doors together. That's the only way they can go through. Dio is killed and has his bracelet smashed and nonfunctional which leaves both Kyle and Phi up for a penalty. Death. That's the gist of it, at least. Of course I know that Kyle was the one that killed Dio and smashed his bracelet in a fucked up way of seeing if Sigma would pick Phi or him as a method of testing his father's love, but really, the focus of my analysis here is on Phi as one of the sole remaining survivors in this ending. Many of the lines in this end are self-explanatory so I won't comment too much on the ones I selected but I pulled a few I felt were relevant.

PHI: Go on ahead, Sigma. You have those bracelets K gave you, right? You should be able to get through the secondary door with those. So just— SIGMA: Fuck that! You know I can't just ditch you guys like that!

^ Phi is surprisingly okay with the idea of Sigma just leaving them to die (likely since him staying behind puts his life at risk too, and as will be shown she does not like the idea of people dying for HER)

More text incoming as Sigma decides to have Phi be the one to be saved with the neostigmine due to Kyle's armor and Sigma not even thinking about himself. This is one of the most interesting parts of the route to me:

PHI: S-Sigma... What the hell...did you... SIGMA: I injected you with neostigmine... It's a type of cholinesterase inhibitor...It's the antidote to the muscle relaxant... PHI: Why did you...pick...me?

A bit self explanatory here and will make a bit more sense when discussing Fire but I really like Phi asking why she would be the one to survive. It's interesting IDK

PHI: No... Screw this... I don't want...to live if it means...being in debt...to you... No...goddamn...way... I'm not...gonna...

Once again pay very close attention to the highlighted text. That particular line is fucking fascinating to me. There's the idea of a "debt" to be paid with sacrifice here, as if she feels she owes Sigma some eternal debt that she can never repay in this timeline. And that's not worth living for in her eyes. She doesn't want to live with that weight. But she's doomed, in a tragic way, to survive it. I'll continue more on this idea when I get to Fire in ZTD on the nature of Phi being incredibly against sacrifices made for her life to be saved, but for now I think it's just worth pointing out how much she hates the idea. Hell this dialogue implies she would rather have just been let to die than to live with Sigma's sacrifice weighing on her and that's fucking interesting. And also really sad. Being forced to live in a doomed timeline where only a few people are alive is almost worse (if memory serves right I think Quark is still alive here but then again he's a 10 year old child). Nothing is elaborated on further in this timeline as Phi passes out from the anesthetic and Sigma and Kyle die, but this is a timeline where she's doomed to wake up eventually to their dead bodies. Not many people are left here other than Quark and maybe Luna. It's a dead end.

III. RADICAL-6

I was going to have to talk about Radical-6 eventually, wasn't I. Before I really get into this I'll mention the obvious: one of Rad6's main symptoms is causing suicidal ideation. This isn't shown outright with Phi in particular at any point, but she does show the symptoms, in its most extreme way, in Clover End.

SIGMA (NARRATION): In the middle of the lake of blood, like an island of flesh, were bodies. They were a bloody tangle of lifeless limbs and dead eyes, with too much blood and chaos for me to tell who was who. Had they sliced themselves open? Or stabbed one another? I couldn't tell.

Phi slices her own throat.

The effects of Rad6 are, obviously not actually a person's real intentions nor are they thinking clearly to do so, but it's still worth addressing in this case because Phi will very likely remember this ending in Zero Time Dilemma. She very well has the possibility to remember what it's like to feel feelings exacerbated and caused by the virus and the act of suicide itself because of all the esper shenanigans possible here. So although this says little about Phi's ACTUAL intentions and opinions towards death because of Rad6's influence, it's still a point I felt was worth mentioning due to that. And it's hard to discuss the topics of death and suicide without bringing up Rad6 in some capacity.

IV. ANOTHER TIME

As stated I'll go into Another Time End a little bit but mostly just exploring the idea of more doomed timelines here. This is where I managed to put the dialogue from failing to disarm the bombs in Phi End.

PHI: Our time's up. This is it. Before...well, before it ends... I wanted to tell you thanks. You knew we were about to die, but you still stuck with me. A lot of people wouldn't have done that. You're a good person. There's...one more thing. ...I'm glad I met you. The moment I saw you, you seemed...familiar. Anyway, thanks. It looks like our time's almost up. Hopefully the others will make it. There isn't much hope for us, though. I think this is— SIGMA: Don't you dare say "goodbye." PHI: ...What? SIGMA: We'll meet again. Somewhere. Somewhen. I guarantee it.

Sigma is right, by the way, in terms of things like SHIFTing its entirely possible he was alluding to that here, but it's the sentiment that matters. Dying is not either of their decisions at that point, and a cruel fate since this timeline only exists when neither of them can find the necessary passwords. And god is this interesting. Granted this says more about how much Sigma actually truly meant to Phi as much as she refuses to admit it but I still feel it's relevant. This is what happens when a threat of death becomes fate. I want to point out a specific part of that segment just because it's really interesting to me:

PHI: [...] You knew we were about to die, but you still stuck with me. A lot of people wouldn't have done that. [...]

I can't really explain why I like this line so much. But this entire part is a really interesting moment of an example of character growth, even if it spans however many timelines Phi ended up seeing and jumping between. And this line... I don't know. I'm not sure if it's a comment on that most people wouldn't stick with her specifically or just most people are selfish by nature, but either way I really like it. The focus of this analysis isn't Sigma and Phi's incredibly close dynamic even though they rarely will actually admit how much they mean to each other but it's so so necessary to think about I think. Despite everything, all the deaths and betrayal and hardship, Phi's glad she met Sigma. On the topic of character growth and/or Phi caring about others more than she lets on, though, there's also this part from the same excerpt:

PHI: [...] Hopefully the others will make it. There isn't much hope for us, though. [...]

It's important to think about the fact that Phi isn't completely selfish and cruel. She has her moments and is notoriously very cold and blunt but is nowhere NEAR the level of selfish that people like Dio reach and at least cares enough about the safety of others to hope they're okay. There's way too much other evidence for me to bring up the fact that she does actually care about people more than she lets on (especially Sigma and Quark most notably), so I'm not going to bring up every single piece of evidence that proves this but there's a lot. My point is that even though she has her relatively selfish and cold moments in VLR a lot of them can already be justified as an act of self-defense AND she's got a lot of actually genuinely caring moments beneath face value. She's just got a bit of a prickly exterior and isn't really used to people getting close. And by this end she's already begun to warm up to getting a bit closer to the participants of the third Nonary Game (bar Dio obviously she still very much hates him in this timeline)

This is relevant because very soon I'll be getting into the changes she goes through between VLR's Phi End and ZTD, so really understanding how she operates throughout VLR is necessary for really getting into the change. Setting up a basis for how she acted before and contrasting it to her ZTD characterization - that's pretty much what I'm doing here.

I want to go more into Another Time END a bit later (in the context of D-END 1 and in the context of her self-definition) but I'm putting this quote here for necessity and to get you thinking. Pay very close attention to the text I put in bold.

PHI: I'm kind of an unknown variable in this situation. You could think of me as a kind of... x-factor. It's taken me the last three and a half months to understand it. ?: And I haven't understood anything in the last three and a half seconds. Could you please explain? PHI: It's kind of like the relationship between classical mechanics and modern physics. Strictly speaking, you can't combine velocities with (v1 + v2). (v1 + v2) / (1 + (v1 x v2) / c^2) is the actual equation. Of course, the sort of velocities we encounter in day-to-day life don't come close to being c^2, which is the speed of light squared. That means that (1 + (v1 x v2) / c^2) is usually going to evaluate to something pretty close to 1. Since that would mean dividing by 1, it's usually okay to just skip that step and use (v1 + v2). You see what I'm saying? In most situations it works, even if it isn't technically correct.

And this, from the part where Sigma and Phi jump back in time to stop Dio from killing Akane. I don't have too much commentary on it but in the grand scheme of things I felt it needed to go somewhere.

SIGMA: People have died for this. I mean, let's count how many different ways people died... Murder, antimatter explosion, suicide... I've died. So has Phi. So have you.

V. AFTERMATH

AKANE: The purpose of the AB Project was to send the two of you into the past. Or your minds, at least. In order for that to happen, some death was necessary. When a human brain is faced with danger, its processing speed increases. Information is processed more quickly, and time almost seems to slow—a few seconds can feel like an eternity.

I don't think I have to prove that the events of all three main Games across the ZE series are incredibly traumatic for everyone involved. Junpei in ZTD is the most extreme representation of this but practically nobody really leaves any of these games the same. Granted, danger is necessary for a SHIFT to occur - as stated above and in many other parts of the series danger increases esper abilities - but this does not make the presence of danger any LESS catastrophic to Fucking You Up Quite A Bit. Most espers end up remembering their own deaths by the end of it all. While one of the less obvious cases, Phi does seem to clearly be damaged quite a bit by the events of VLR at least in my opinion.

She has virtually no dialogue in the written Prologue, so instead the best I'm getting for this part of the game is the flashback in Fire with her and Diana:

DIANA: Something the matter? PHI: No, not really... It's been three days since I came to Dcom… But nothing's happened. Nothing strange at all…

[...]

PHI: Hey, Diana. I want to ask you something... Would you mind…giving me a hug? DIANA: …Huh? PHI: I'm just... really tired...

I don't think I have to go into detail how especially the last part is a stark contrast from how she acts throughout almost all of VLR. She lets herself be vulnerable and exposed to Diana in a way she really doesn't allow other to people see here and it's so fascinating to me. Diana is someone she can trust to let down her barriers. Someone Phi can actively ask for support when she needs it as much as she doesn't want to admit she does. Their dynamic is REALLY interesting and what this is really indicative of is too I think. The first quote brings up her, Sigma, and Akane's time at DCOM specifically to stop the spread of Radical-6 - and they've got a few days of DCOM where nothing happens. Only a few, granted, mentally Phi has just experienced VLR and went straight to DCOM afterwards, but even these few days feel strange now that nothing's happening. After experiencing the insanity that is VLR this completely makes sense that it's just weird to be in some sort of neutral zone where nothing's happening but it's STATED to happen. And it does, the Decision Game happens later, but how does it feel to just be in wait? The second quote is interesting, also, as she lays it out plainly: she's tired. Maybe this is just situational and not a result of exhaustion or anything similar but I do believe it definitely impacted her to a great amount - as evidenced by her change in behavior to ZTD. She's much more trusting and has learned that since, but much more self-sacrificing at the same time. These next few quotes I'll elaborate on more in the self-definition segment, but they're important:

DIANA: "Not even gods can return to the past, so live in the moment so you have no regrets." That's not the right interpretation? PHI: Well, if you take it at face value. I guess that'd make sense, if I was a normal human being. DIANA: Does that mean that you're not?

This is what Phi and Diana say about Phi's brooch - "Not even jupiter can find a lost opportunity". Phi's wording is interesting, here - she's talking about her status as an esper, but as of this point in the story that's something Diana's not supposed to know (never mind her being one), but her phrasing as labelling herself "not a normal human being" is really really interesting. She certainly isn't, but it feels all the more permanent - can she ever go back? Will she ever be able to? What's considered 'normal' to her? Similarly,

PHI: Hey, this isn't normal, right? DIANA: It is. You're a completely normal girl, Phi.

Not a lot I can say here - I want to roughly try to stay on topic, but in terms of analysis I really like this line. Phi doesn't consider what she's doing 'normal', at least not with someone she barely has met. I also really like Diana's response to this; she reassures Phi by telling her that this is normal, what she's feeling is okay and normal to feel, and she is too. While Phi isn't 'normal' by definition of not being an esper, despite the weight of the world on her shoulders and her cold exterior she is still human. She's not perfect, she DOES feel things, and that's okay. This has gone slightly off topic but I feel like this part's worth mentioning somewhere in the grand scheme of things or for ANY analysis at all, and will be brought up again in the self-definition section. But there's more to Phi and Diana's relationship once the actual Decision Game begins, and what it means for Phi's idea of her own self-worth.

VI. FIRE

SYSTEM: Incinerator startup... will now commence. Incineration in... thirty minutes.

This is the big one. The big fragment I've been building to, and part of the reason I wrote this analysis at all instead of focusing on a different theme related to Phi such as family or trust (both interesting still, though). Once again, I won't preface this by explaining the fragment - but here, Phi's in the incinerator (reminiscent of 999...). A lot of the way she acts here is of major interest to me, especially after the puzzle room - notably she's incredibly self-sacrificing. I won't say that she's completely apathetic to her death, because she isn't:

PHI: I need to stop firing myself up or else I really will be… PHI: ...Stay calm, Phi.

But, I mean, who wouldn't when placed with the threat of burning to death. It's a slow and painful way to die, at that. But you'll see a lot throughout this fragment is Phi's mentality of "rather me than them" - as painful as death is, at this point she'd rather be the martyr to save their lives than the opposite.

PHI: Diana and Sigma are over there... Damn! Why am I here... But it's better that I'm the only one who got locked in.

At this point she doesn't know her death would save their lives (the true rules of the decision in this fragment haven't been revealed), but is still willing to be the martyr as she's the only one currently at risk of dying as far as all of D-Team knows. Maybe it's because she can SHIFT out, maybe it's because she sees herself as a worthy sacrifice, maybe it's both. This is also all the more noteworthy knowing she and Sigma both remember VLR - they've both died, both had to make sacrifices, and been through many of the same circumstances. Although where it is in their memory is different - for Phi it's mentally a few days prior and for Sigma it was decades ago but he's spent those decades creating it (and without the ability to talk to Phi) - that doesn't get rid of their bond. Phi's bond with Diana is a little different since the only scene they get is the flashback (if you want my personal opinion, I feel like Phi should have taken a bit longer to trust her or at least be wary; maybe not as slowly as it took her to trust Sigma, but it feels out of nowhere IMO. it could still show her development with coming to trust people but still provide an interesting and heartbreaking bond), but nevertheless still important. And then comes the decision.

DELTA: Diana, both of their lives rest upon your decision.

PHI: How dare you not consider everyone else's feelings, Sigma! What if the shot is a live bullet?! Do you really want Diana to end up blowing your head off with her own hands?!

What does Diana do? Sacrifice Phi's life for a guaranteed chance of saving Sigma? Or risk Sigma's life - a 50/50 chance of him living - to save Phi?

This analysis isn't about Sigma so I won't go too far into detail about his lines, but the important thing is that he's willing to risk his life for Phi - and it's the logical decision in his mind, since there's a chance of everybody living. If Phi dies, someone's guaranteed to die, but if Diana shoots Sigma, there's a 50% chance they all make it out alive. It's the more pragmatic decision, however Phi is very against it.

It feels a bit like the expected roles they'd play have reversed since VLR, or at least for a scenario like this. In a way, she's right - Sigma barely considers the fact that he might die. And the implication of her bringing up Diana is also a really interesting point of consideration that Sigma also doesn't think about - Phi knows Diana won't be able to handle the guilt of killing Sigma. She knows that, and in the timeline where that does happen, she's right. Sigma's sacrifice isn't just a simple detached death like with Phi's; if Diana chooses to shoot Sigma and he does die, she had an active role in his death. Which is sort of the complexity behind the trolley problem in the first place (it essentially is a sort of trolley problem - except there's a chance they'll both live and both victims are asking to be a martyr to save the other). I also want to call to attention Phi's specific wording of everyone; she mentions just Diana at the end, but given her difficulty with expressing her own feelings it doesn't feel like a stretch to assume that this is about her feelings too. Looking at her reaction in the ending where Sigma DOES die (which I will get to), it's clear she really can't bear to lose Sigma either. Not after everything. Not after all of this.

DIANA: But Phi, if I don't pull the trigger, you'll... PHI (facing away): Don't worry about me.

Like I said, she seems to believe herself to be expendable in this situation. Sigma can't die - she can't handle that, but in her eyes, she can. If it means he and Diana live. She basically asks Diana to let her be the sacrifice, even though there's a chance they can all make it out alive. I also will point out that while Phi had some moments of this in VLR, this is a stark contrast between her much more self-interested characterization there. Also, note what I wrote down in the quote - while ZTD's models aren't the best or the most expressive, I think it's an interesting detail that she faces away from them for a moment and while saying this. So what's Diana meant to do? Pull the trigger, and leave open the possibility of everyone living while it risks her killing Sigma? Or let Phi burn to death? Sigma wants her to pull it - it's the more pragmatic choice, they can all live, maybe - and Phi wants to ensure that Sigma won't die. Even if it means she burns to death. We're able to see all three options, but most of them aren't pretty.

As it's the shortest of all three options by a long shot, I'm going to first discuss Shoot: Live; where Diana shoots Sigma and he dies. There's not much to preface this with other than what's on the tin: Sigma has died by Diana's hand in an effort to save Phi.

PHI (crying): Why?! Why did you do it?! You murderer! Murderer! I wasn't... I didn't matter at all! I didn't...! I didn't...! So why... Why did you...

Yeah. It's a pretty heartbreaking route, and probably the most emotional Phi is seen as being apart from near the end where she yells at Delta, maybe. Every part of her that she's held together up to this point just falls apart. The subtitles/captions don't do it justice as her VA sounds a bit more like she's struggling to get out what she wants to say at all. Like as if she's so upset and broken by witnessing Sigma die right in front of her, and FOR her, that she basically breaks down right here. Hell, right after this line she stops actually saying anything and just cries until Diana picks up the gun. (side note: not to nitpick but the some of pauses here sound like the type of pause that would be used with an em dash rather than an ellipsis. take that as you will)

It's easy to wonder why she'd call Diana a murderer, of all things, considering the extremity of that accusation and Phi KNOWING she was forced into that situation, but once again you have to consider Phi's emotional state. It doesn't even sound like she's speaking clearly, and grief and trauma makes people do and say pretty fucked up things sometimes (and especially when it's someone so close to you. Phi also WATCHED Sigma die). Given the fact that she already didn't seem to be doing the best in the first place it mostly just seems to be something she said in the moment out of grief rather than an accusation with any real weight behind it. It's not completely out of nowhere - and may imply some sort of resentment towards Diana for choosing to pick that (which I will also get into in Shoot: Blank) - but my point is this line should be taken with a major grain of salt. Maybe some of it comes from somewhere, such as hidden feelings suddenly being vocalized and taken to their extreme, but not all of it may be how she really feels and just an inflation due to her mental state.

Another thing to consider is her constant questioning of why - why would Diana ever pick Sigma over her? Why would she make that decision? Phi can't fathom it. Even though Sigma did say it's the more logical situation because that means there's a chance they all could've survived, she still doesn't understand that she'd even be worth sacrifice. See the K End segment for more on Phi hating people - especially Sigma - sacrificing themselves for her (I'll get to it in Suppression but she seems to cope better when the death isn't FOR her to live, if it is she seems to deal with it a lot worse), but here its taken to its extreme.

I also need to point out the text in bold. It's so so important to this I think. She doesn't think she's worth the sacrifice. She didn't matter, doesn't matter, so why would Diana do it? Why would she risk Sigma's life? Again I'll point out that Phi's self-sacrificing nature here could be a result of many things; maybe because she can SHIFT out and she's done it before (too many times, maybe), maybe because she's just that willing to die for Sigma and Diana to live, maybe it's a mix of it all, and any of those could ring true here. But my point is that it seems like she doesn't understand Diana's decision or that she could really be worth dying for. She didn't matter, after all. (once again, take this with a grain of salt, but still.)

This route ends not long after this but I do want to mention how much of a horrifying dead end it is. Phi was right about Diana being unable to handle the guilt, and she kills herself - leaving Phi alone. On the topic of how Phi's more emotional here than before, she literally screams at the end of the fragment before the "Game Over" screen plays. This is the worst possible end to Fire, I think - two people die instead of the expected one, and the sole survivor is struggling to cope with even one of the two deaths she just witnessed. That was enough to cause her to break down completely. Adding onto that another death of someone she cares about, especially a suicide, is A Lot. For anyone it would be. It makes sense why it just ends right there; where else would it go, really, and anything that could happen is fairly bleak, but it's interesting to think about. Anthropic Principle confirms she lives, and considering the revelation that all of D-Team is poisoned from the start in Don't Shoot it implies she drank the antidote. But where does she even go from there? In the timeline where C-Team all dies, she ends up as the sole survivor, even. I don't know. But it's an interesting thing to think about for an absolutely heartbreaking and tragic end. It's a dead end, really. What's Phi meant to do now? After all this? After losing the people she cared about?

in the second part I'll continue starting from Shoot:Blank - but the rest of the analysis will go there. i'll link it in this post once it's done! i'll even include some deleted lines from Fire from TCRF because they're quite interesting ! feel free to leave any commentary you have (so far) in tags or replies because i'd love to hear :} (also note: everything up to near the end of Aftermath was written months ago, the rest was written in the past few days)

[inspired-aspiring-artist]

I would love to see The Flying Sweet Salmon!

Alas, I have not yet caught a glimpse of it

Candyland AU lore drop below

This reminds me of an idea I had for the Candyland AU; lore wise all the rivers flow from a simple syrup lake in which supposedly dwells The Great Su-Gar, the saccharine fish god that is the original source of all sweetness and life. Many have sought out the Su-Gar due to the belief that if caught it will grant you a single wish. As of yet none have caught the Su-Gar as its exact location is a mystery and the journey to the center of the candy continent is perilous.

I love the idea of more Sweet-ish fish ;3

Maybe the Flying Sweet Salmon can be found roaming the cotton-candy clouded skies of the candy continent

Guys if you look at the clouds and really believe in it, The Flying Sweet Salmon will pass by and wink at you :]

What do you mean you haven't heard the legends of The Flying Sweet Salmon?-

[dewdr0pz-alt]

Hoii :) i saw that you liked making luci x reader mini stories and i LOVE THEM. I just have a tiny petite itty bity request for a new story. Id love to see either a story about him gicing us aome after care after spoicy time or apologizing after an argument. Take as much time as needed. Thank youuu <3

jealousy, jealousy ⊹ ࣪𐙚꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱｡⋆

summary: you recently got a new job working for Voxtech, causing you to come home late nearly every day. Lucifer's a bit angry that you keep missing dinner, which sparks an argument (word count: 1.3k).

warnings: arguing/yelling (obviously), crying, swearing, accusations of cheating, Lucifer's kind of a jackass in the beginning, mentions of death (reader talks about life when they were alive), generally gn!reader terms

a/n: hello!! this is a really cute idea so tysm for requesting it! i'm really sorry i haven't gotten to other stories, I've been so busy 😭

tags: (as always, just tagging a few people i think would be interested in this, please let me know if you would like to be on or off of the taglist!) @o-kye @zuuriell @strangleetomz@ax-y10 @stars-around-scars-collective@blu3-lemonad3@myheartticks@mochamuff1n@unbeleevable@danvstheworld @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @average-vibe @back-totheoldhouse @prettysinners @lovevxle

You recently got a new job at one of the largest companies in Hell, Voxtech, as Vox's secretary. When you got the job, you mainly wanted to do it because of the pay, thinking that you wouldn't have to do much as a secretary.

But boy, you were wrong.

You rarely sat down during work hours unless you were on lunch break, and even then Vox and other employees were asking you to come help, or Valentino was trying to persuade you to work for him for double the pay (you 'politely' declined every time). You were constantly printing and filing papers, answering calls to deal with angry customers or business meetings that Vox needed to attend, arranging those meetings and appointments, helping with report preparation for staff meetings (nobody really paid attention to them anyway unless Vox was threatening them to do so), managing databases, etc. You almost always worked overtime, which meant your nightly dinners with Lucifer seldom occurred; on the days you were off or didn't work overtime, you usually rested through half of it and didn't have the energy to eat or make dinner for the two of you.

Tonight was no different; you got home later than you usually did and were greeted by the sight of an angry Lucifer.

"Where were you?" he asked, his arms crossed. "Do you know how late it is?"

"Hi, honey," you said breathlessly, taking off your shoes and jacket. "I'm so sorry I got home late, Mr. Vox really needed me to finish up reports for the next staff meeting tomorrow and it was such a-"

"No, be honest," he interrupted. "Where were you?"

"In the...office," you said, raising a brow. "Where else would I have been?"

Lucifer scoffed. "Sure, sure."

"Lucifer, you know how he's making me work late," you sighed, dragging an aching hand down your face. "If I could come home earlier, I would, but Mr. Vox is a busy man."

"Busy with what?" Lucifer snapped, much to your surprise. "Adultery?"

"Honey, what are you talking-" you started.

"Don't 'honey' me," Lucifer laughed coldly. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"You think I'm cheating on you with my fucking boss?" you said. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Lucifer mocked your tone. "I have eyes. I can see. Do you not see how he shows you off on TV? How he preaches about you at company gatherings and dinners? You two are fawning over each other, it's clear as day."

"Oh, so my boss isn't allowed to think I'm a good worker?" you said sarcastically. "Great, I'll make a note of that, thanks."

"Stop that, Y/N," Lucifer exclaimed. "Don't act like nothing is going on. He can tell people that you're a good worker without bragging about you like you're a trophy. He doesn't deserve to do that when he makes you work your ass off every day until the crack of dawn. If you're even working," he muttered.

"Look," you retorted, dropping your bag on the ground, "I'm sorry that I work late nights and that I can't have dinner with you every day. But you could at least be happy that I have such a good job. You can appreciate that I'm doing well at work and my boss likes me. That's not fucking hard. And, yeah, I am working, thank you."

"If you're actually working so late, why does he put his arm around you in interviews, hm?" Lucifer crossed his arms and stepped closer to you. "Why does he think he can touch you?"

"Jesus Christ, Lucifer, people are allowed to like me!" you exclaimed. "He does that with every worker there!"

"Yeah, sure, he's having an affair with every worker there," Lucifer said furiously.

"You really think I'd cheat on you?" you hissed, hot tears bubbling up in your eyes. "You sit there an-and talk about how it's good that we trust each other, yet as soon as my new boss likes me suddenly I'm a slut."

"I never called you a slut, Y/N," Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Don't be dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic!" you shouted, your face warm and sticky with tear streaks. "You are treating me like I'm a slut! Look, I'm sorry you're jealous, okay? But I'm pretty sure people aren't suspecting that I could potentially be having an affair with Vox because of how you act in public around me! People are putting too much attention on me and you to even think that!"

"That's rich coming from a world-class attention seeker," Lucifer shouted, freezing as soon as the words came out of his mouth. His eyes widened when yours did, and he looked like he'd just spewed out bile.

"No, wait, Y/N-" he started when he saw you put your shoes on and grab your bag again.

"No," you snapped, "clearly I'm not wanted here, so I'll go."

"I never said I wanted you to leave, sweetheart, please-"

"Don't call me fucking 'sweetheart'," you growled, glaring at him through glassy eyes. "And I can tell you don't want to be around a world-class attention seeker, so I'll leave and spare you." You walked out and slammed the door before he could continue, the sound of rain drowning out the sound. You muttered a "great" under your breath before walking out of the house and onto the sidewalk to pull out your phone to call someone.

"Hi, Y/N!" Charlie's voice rang through the speaker. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah, I need a ride," you tried to say calmly, but it came out strained and wobbly.

"Oh, I'm so so sorry, but I'm super busy right now and I can't drive over there," Charlie said apologetically, "but I could call Angel!"

"That works," you sniffled. "Thank you."

"Of course!" Charlie said sweetly. "Hope you feel better, Y/N!" The disconnect sound came through promptly after. You sighed and sat under an awning, shivering from your rain-soaked clothes. You slumped your head against a wall and cried softly, your eyes shut tight.

Around 15 minutes later, you felt warm, fluffy arms wrapping around you and Angel Dust's voice saying, "Hey, hey, you're okay, toots, let's get in the car and get you to the hotel." You took his hands and stumbled over to the car, slumping into the passenger seat.

"Trouble in paradise?" Angel asked, driving to the hotel. You nodded weakly. "You two will get over it. You're perfect for each other."

"I hope so," you sniffled.

The next day...

You heard a soft knocking at the door of the room you were sleeping in; it was Angel's room, but he'd gone to sleep in Husk's room so that you could have privacy.

"Come in," you said groggily, sitting up and finger-combing through your bedhead.

The door slowly creaked open, revealing a nervous Charlie and an even more nervous Lucifer (although his cheeks were rosy from seeing you so sleepy). Charlie pushed him into the room, gave you a thumbs up, and closed the door, leaving the two of you in the room, swallowed by the silence.

He hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers fidgeting with the fabric of the blankets. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "I was cold for a little bit, but I slept fine."

"Your clothes got wet from the rain, I'm guessing?" Lucifer said.

You nodded. "Charlie put them in the wash, bless her heart," you chuckled. He chuckled lightly with you.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, taking your hands in his, "for everything I said. You didn't deserve a word of that. You're such a great worker and I'm so incredibly proud of you, sweet darling. You're not an attention seeker and I should've never even thought you would cheat on me."

"Thank you, Lucifer," you smiled. "I'm sorry for storming out on you without letting you apologize, that was unfair on my part."

"You had every reason to storm out on me," Lucifer said, squeezing your hands. "I'm surprised you didn't do anything else," he laughed.

"I wouldn't have the heart to do it," you returned with a laugh, his smile, that gorgeous smile, widening at the sound.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered. "Please, love, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just ask."

"Cuddles?" you grinned.

"That works for me," he laughed.

[venomhoundfanworks]

Hazbin Hotel - Dumb Lucifer Scenario Dump

Here are just a bunch of like random scenarios that popped into my head; usually when I was half asleep or hadn't slept for several days. Im not going to do anything with these beyond this post so if someone wants to like turn these into a short story or comic, feel free. Just link back and give me credit for the idea please ~<3 Id love to see what you make!!

My other work can be found on my masterlist >>HERE<<

Contents/WARNINGS: Heavy drinking; allusions to Lucifer being outcasted everywhere; potential sad ending on third one; Alastor casually breaking hearts; Lucifer needs therapy or meds or something Actual brainrot below the cut. Not beta read we die like men -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Who Needs Magic Anyway? ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

(Little bit of context; this idea came about because I was talking to @writteninlunarlight-years about the whole 'there is only one bed trope thing)

Lucifer and reader are both drinking together. They both get so plastered that the reader cant go home on their own and Lucifer cant make a decent portal. (The portals keep fizzing out, going to the wrong places.... Point is he cant do it right atm).

So Lucifer offers to have the reader stay with him for the night. Even in their drunkin state, the reader side-eyes Lucifer at his offer and the guy just keeps digging his hole deeper Saying stuff like:

Lucifer: I-I meant we can sleep together as friends. Reader: *blinks* Lucifer: WAIT-

Lucifer even offers to make you one of those stupid pillow walls in between you two if your really that uncomfortable. What a gentleman

Anyway, you both eventually end up in his bedroom and Lucifer changes into duck pajamas (because of course thats what he has. what else would the guy have really). Then you both look at each other awkwardly as you both realize you… don't exactly have anything comfortable to sleep in.

Lucifer quickly says that its fine! He will just magic you up some pjs! Easy! Well. The problem is when he does this, his alcohol infused brain defaulted the entire concept of sleepwear to mean 'Lucifer’s sleepwear.' So when he zaps you, you end up with a perfectly matching set of ducky nightshirt and pants to Lucifer’s very own.

Lucifer immediately wants to die.

Bonus: This entire thing has now made me headcanon that Lucifer cannot control his magic when he is drunk

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

Playing the Hero ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

NOTE: I used a spider here, but really it can be any bug. Or whatever you want. I just did a spider because fuck spiders, and the idea of Lucifer cowering at a mini Angel Dust was very funny to me

Its late at night and as usual Lucifer cannot sleep. Lucifer is suddenly disturbed however, by the reader in their adorable pajamas. They are looking around nervously, with their hands hidden in their sleeves.

The man is immediately ready to do anything they ask cause they are just so darn cute.

The reader sheepishly asks him if he can kill a giant spider that has decided to make itself at home in their room. Lucifer, ever the sin of pride, (and maaayyybe wanting to impress them a little), excitedly says that of course he can! Completely pushing away the fact that, he too, is afraid of spiders.

They both go to the reader's room and as soon as Lucifer sees the spider he panics a little. (”Oh god, that is actually a big spider.”, ”Why are its legs so long??”)

Wanting to play the hero but also not wanting to go anywhere near the accursed thing, Lucifer thinks itll be a great idea to just- zap it.

Well, the thing is Lucifer’s hands are very shaky at the moment, due to a combination of having all the reader's attention on him and the fear of holyshitspider. So when he tries to zap the thing he completely fucking misses like an idiot.

The spider goes flying toward the two of them, resulting in both of them bursting out of the room screaming bloody murder and waking up the rest of the hotel.

✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿‿✿°•∘୨୧∘•°✿

Don't Overthink It ₊˚ ‿︵୨୧

(Again, inspired by @writteninlunarlight-years specifically her post about Making Flower Crowns for the Hazbin Men. This prompt takes place during Valentines Day, but you can easily modify it to be during a different holiday. Can be platonic or romantic.

Valentines Day comes around, and you decide to gift one to the infamous King of Hell. Because youll be sending it anonymously, you decide to go all out. You get him a super nice duck themed gift, handwrite him a card, as well as get him a stunning bouquet.

What you didn't anticipate however, was Lucifer completely losing it when he receives the gift. Apparently its been decades/centuries since he last received a Valentine, let alone one as nice as the one you gave him.

He was the King of Hell after all. You assumed he got a million Valentines automatically because of his position. I mean, Alastor got piles of them so why WOULDNT the King of Hell?

Because of its anonymous nature, Lucifer's ever romantic heart gets obsessed with the Valentine. You love bombed the poor guy on complete accident. Lucifer starts trying to do his own little 'investigations' to figure out who made it for him, like comparing different handwritings to the one on the card and such. Lucifer even starts daydreaming about who it could be and imagining what they are like.

(if its romantic) Your afraid to tell him you did it because you don't want to complicate your friendship with Charlie. A part of you also feels guilty that you somehow managed to put yourself on such a high pedestal in Lucifer's eyes when... your just you.

(if its platonic) You don't want to break Lucifer's heart and tell him that you just wanted to do something nice. You feel guilty for getting his hopes up for something/someone that doesn't exist.

BONUS: At some point in the story, the reader walks by a trashcan/dumpster full of Valentines meant for Alastor that he clearly just trashed right away. Alastor hates Valentines day because everyone wont. Stop. BUGGING. HIM.

[baseball-dokyeom]

One more wouldn’t hurt

pairing: nonidol!wonwoo x fem!reader

genre: fluff, domestic wonwoo, gamer and cat lover wonwoo, just lots of fluff

word count: 626

content warnings: none

a/n: ion know if i like this one a whole lot, but i hope you like it!!:) and id really love if you could reblog 🥺 thank uuu 🖤

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚

Y/N: hey baby, I’m heading to the store before i come home, do you need anything?

kitty<3: could you pick up some canned tuna?

Y/N: …you hate canned tuna. why do you need some?

kitty<3: we got another mouth to feed

Y/N: huh? wdym

Y/N: wonu

Y/N: baby what are you talking about

Y/N: WONWOO WDYM RESPOND PLEASE

Y/N: ?!?!?!?!?

You’re at the store, repeatedly reading over the texts Wonwoo sent as you go through your grocery list. “I swear if that man got another cat…” You mutter to yourself, grabbing a few cans of canned tuna. You run to the checkout, quickly buying everything so you can head home, continuing to grumble under your breath as you pack the groceries in your car. You quickly drive home, wondering what you’ll see when you get there.

Grabbing the groceries and heading up the stairs of your apartment building, you open the door and call for your boyfriend. “Wonwoo!” You say, setting the grocery bags on the countertop in the kitchen before going to look for him.

“C’mon Buldak, we can do it. This boss is just a little harder than the last level.” You hear your boyfriend mumbling from his game room.

“What the…” You open the door to see your boyfriend, sitting in front of his computer. His hoodie is on backwards, and a small black, orange, and white bundle of fur is sitting in the hood, Wonwoo’s chin resting gently on it. “Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo finally hears you, turning his head to see you, causing a huge grin to break out on his face. “Baby!”

“Wonwoo, my darling, my love, my sweet, is that another cat?” You ask, trying to act serious.

“Perhaps,” He smiles, taking the kitty gently out of the hood and holding it in front of you. “His name is Buldak.”

“Buldak?” You ask, a small smile on the corner of your lips.

“He looks like a buldak packet! Look! Black, orange, white!” He says enthusiastically.

“Well you’re not wrong,” You smile. “Where did you find him?”

“On the side of the road,” He shrugs. “I picked him up, took him to get shots, and decided he can be our son.”

“You didn’t even check to see if he had tags or anything?” You ask, a little exasperated.

“He had nothing!” Wonwoo insists. “He was all dirty and stuff, too…”

“We already have a daughter-“ You say, motioning to the white cat sitting gracefully on your shared bed.

“I know!” He smiles. “Even better, he and Marie get along great! She’s been really nice! Cuddling and licking him…” He says fondly.

You want to be stern with him and tell him that you have reservations about having another cat, but the pure joy on his face makes your resolve crumble.

“You already really love him, huh?” You mumble, walking up to the kitten in his arms and petting his head, feeling his soft fur.

“I do, Y/N, I really do.” He says softly, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“Do you think we can take care of another cat?” You ask, softly voicing your concerns.

“Yes!” He nods. “I’ll take care of him! I uh… I might have already ordered everything he needs…so expect a lot of packages over the next few days.”

You smile, tilting his chin up so he can look at you. “You and your kitties…” You murmur, an amused smile on your face. You lean down and press a soft kiss to his forehead.

“So…can we keep him?” Wonwoo asks softly.

You chuckle, picking up Buldak from Wonwoo’s arms and cradling him to your chest, as Marie rubs herself against your legs affectionately. “I guess one more wouldn’t hurt.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tags: @mykpopficblog @daisymbin @elegantdevill1 @amaris-or-amourous @stupendouschildnerd @lurking-bunny @rubyys-things @woistmeineis @tacosandbitch @saphire2110 @ftezz @brunette-babe @straycuties8 @twilightwei @reiofsuns2001 @emilys-getaway @aestheticfooddreamer @letsmeetatmidnights @tearsofgenshin @choco-scoups @chanothy @lusterlilit @allthatyazz @butterflieside @lizza2001 @karynnoona @ajkkkkk @ajutired

[boom-butterflyeffect]

WARNING/S - smut, mentions of killing/stabbing, knife play, choking, mr.ghostface kink?, mask kink?, <3

you heard a bang as the lodge door slammed shut, instantly getting your attention as you shot up from the bed. you swore youd locked all the doors before getting into bed and the only other person with a key was josh but hed had to stay late at the smaller cabin, Jessica and Mike's "love den", as he called it. "last minute preparations, babe", he said.

slowly creeping around the corner of the bedroom door you peaked out to see.. nobody. the long hallway was completely.. empty. so you went back into the room and grabbed your boyfriends baseball bat, then made your way into the kitchen followed by the living room. once again seeing.. nothing.

hand falling to the side as you sighed to yourself. maybe you were just way too tired and imagining things, the religious watching and study of horror media finally getting to you, you thought, just before you felt two hands reach around you, grabbing your mouth to silence you and your waist to hold you against them.

you tried as hard as you could to fight them off, not even being able to see who it was that had grabbed you until you heard the familiar laugh of your boyfriend as he let go of you.

“its me, kitten!” he lifted the ghostface mask to reveal a very amused grin on his face and you shook your head at him.

“JOSH! you scared me to death!” you yelled at him, looking down at his baseball bat still in your hand.

“if i was a real intruder id definitely have had to kidnap you.” he said, using the knife he was holding to motion to your clothes. or lack of.

as youd been in bed you were literally in just a small thong and a cropped scream t shirt, how ironic. you roll your eyes, moving closer to him as his arms wrap around you and you pull the mask back down over his face.

“you look.. hot.” you told him and heard a laugh from under the mask.

“you want me to fuck you like this?” he jokes but quickly notices as your eyes change at his words. “oh you do.. you want me to put this knife against your throat and make you beg for you life, kitten?”

“josh..” you whisper out, barely being able to find your voice over the shock you were in from your boyfriends words. youd always had a thing for the ghostface character, among others, and hearing your boyfriend speaking this way was doing something to you.

his hand reaches out and grips onto your throat, pinning you against the nearest wall as he presses the knife above his hand. “what kitten?” he asks and you cant even think, never mind speak to reply to him.

“you better start talking or im gonna have to make you, and im sure you dont want that do you kitten?” he asks, moving the knife to trail down your tummy causing a whine to slip from your lips. “oh maybe you do.. hm? you like how my knife feels against your pretty skin?”

“josh please..” you whine and he laughs, shaking his head at your reaction.

“youre such a little whore. i bet you loved how you felt when you thought i was someone else hm? did it make your little pussy wet to think about me forcing this knife into your skin.. making you beg for your life?”

your breath fell from your lips in a scattered fashion as your chest rose and fell quickly. you couldnt even imagine, he couldnt even imagine, how wet you were right now, how wet he was making you. cheeks reddening as he spoke to you.

“go on kitten, b.e.g.” the knife was pointed in to your skin, pushing hard enough to draw a little blood on to it.

“please jos-please dont kill me mr ghostface, i really want to be in the sequel.. ,you can do anything you want to me,.. ill do anything.” you pleaded so desperate and you could practically feel his smirk as he pressed a leg between your aching thighs.

“i know you will but its cute of you to remind me.. now shut the fuck up and go sit on the bed.” he ordered and you quickly did as he told.

you walked back into the room and sat on your knees on the bed, facing him as he walked over to you with a smirk before pulling the mask back down. his hand palmed himself through his pants as he made his way over, your mouth almost watering at the sight.

“you wanna suck my cock?” he asks and you nod your head, already desperate to please and he chuckles. “good slut.”

he undoes his pants, leaving them around his thighs before he grabs a fistful of your hair, dragging your face to meet with his already hard dick.

“s.u.c.k. now”.

you immediately take him into your mouth, tongue swirling around the tip before your head dips lower taking in more of him.

he groans as your cheeks hollow, and you look up at him,.. well the mask.

“fuck, fuck, fuck.” he grunts out, pushing your head down to choke on his cock. “good fucking kitten gag on my cock.”

you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second as he continued. josh had never yet been this rough with you and you couldnt lie. you really liked it and you could tell that he did too.

he drags you off and your head up to meet his mask. "you want me to cum down your slutty little throat before i slit it open? hm is that what you want little whore?" he asks and you practically whimper.

"please mr.ghostface." you nod and he pushes you back down, you latching back onto his cock instantly.

he holds you hair again, fucking into your face due to his desperate state now. he twitches in your mouth before spilling down your throat and you swallow without hesitation.

"thank you mr.ghostface." you smile up at him in the most innocent way possible, attempting to rub your thighs together for some release.

"stand." he orders and you scramble to your feet in front of him and with no warning he rips off your top and drags down your underwear. "so fucking perfect, id be insane not to want to cut your pretty little throat wouldnt i? hm?" he asks and you nod.

"stupid slut." he laughs before pulling you to sit on his lap, his cock directly below your aching cunt.

"what do you want babe? tell me what you want." he coos, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear and you sigh.

"i want to ride you.. please." you almost moan just at the thought he nods.

"go on then kitten, maybe if youre good i wont have to kill you, hm? ill keep you around as my own little toy." he questions and you dont even answer.

you quickly sink down on his cock, moaning out loudly as you finally feel him inside of you. "josh o.h m.y g.o.d." he groans, gripping at your hips and forcing you to move.

you bounce up and down as he uses a hand to grab at one of your boobs. "perfect, youre so fucking perfect." he grunts and you smile down at him, pressing a kiss to his mask. "and so so cute." his hand trails up your back to tug at your hair.

"mi..-mister im close." you moan out, your eyes squeezing shut as you feel that familiar feeling in your stomach.

"hold it." he spits, his nail digging into your hip as he begins to thrust up into you, helping both of you to get closer.

his free hand grabs your throat, fingers tightening around it as he fucks you both to your highs.

"go on kitten show me how much of a good girl you are cum all over my cock." he tells you and you cum immediately, your nails dragging over his all black clothed chest as you moan loudly, screaming his name over and over.

"fuck." he grunts, as he lets go of your throat letting you fall against him as the two of you come down, breathing heavily for a few minutes.

"babe.." josh asks, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear and you hum, tracing patterns over his chest. "you okay?" he asks, continuing to play with your hair and you nod, exhausted.

“you never told me you into ghostface hm?” he laughs and you shrug.

“i got too many horror crushes.” you confess.

“oh yeah?"

"wait.. does beetlejuice count as horror too?" you quiz to no one really.

josh laughs.

__

idk im bored

jesus fucking christ anon.

Josh definitely would, especially around Halloween time since he has an excuse for dressing up in the costumes.

was not expecting a smut oneshot in my inbox, but i am not mad about it at all, good lord.

[bedoballoons]

Genshin Men headcanon? With a cute Obedient Wive/Girlfriend.

I don't want to put it in too details so I'll just keep it short and simple, basically it's a family thing where the wife have to be obedient with their spouse, but they can break following the spouse order if the spouse request is unreasonable, dangerous and etc. :)

Also can you add Cyno? Thanks

Awe housewife vibes! Also thank you for making it simple for me! Sometimes I find it difficult to understand longer requests so I really appreciate it, I hope you enjoy <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~Obedient wife~༺}

CW: Just fluff!, established relationships and reader uses she/her pronouns! (Pet names: Lyney: Mon chérie and my love, Kazuha: Dearest, Neuvillette: Mon amour, Cyno: Beautiful)

(Includes: Lyney, Kazuha, Wanderer, Neuvillette, and Cyno!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and hiding his face in the crook of your neck, his eyes lingering on the table set with your delicious cooking, "Thank you my love for preparing this for everyone...it all looks perfect." He placed a gentle kiss against your skin, making your face blush that perfect shade of pink he adored so much...he always knew how to get you flustered, "Anything for you dearest, speaking of which, do you need your clothes ironed? How about your hat, have you organised the tricks in it recently?" You awaited his response eagerly, wanting to do the best for your wonderful husband.

He chuckled softly, placing another sweet kiss on your cheek, "Mon chérie, you've done everything I could ask for, right now the only thing left is to spend time with me while we wait for my siblings...if you'd like to of course." You turned to face him, kissing his lips as if the answer were so obvious...cause it was, "There's nothing else Id rather do."

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Dearest, could you bring me my sword? Make sure to be careful, even a sheath cannot always contain the blade...I don't want you getting hurt." Kazuha glanced at you from his workstation, flashing that soft sweet smile that always made you swoon and gesturing to his sword not far from you. Even though you didn't know much about weapons, you liked helping him, following his instructions and being the most perfect wife you could be.

You carefully retrieved his sword, watching him with admiration as he sharpened the edges and repaired the handle, by the time he was finished it looked like new again and you were in awe. "You look amazed..., I promise this isn't as impressive as how I handle the blade. " He gently moved your hair away from your face and kissed your forehead, hoping to impress you even more later on.

𑁍༄Wanderer:

You loved Wanderer with all your heart, you enjoyed pleasing him with home cooked meals, a clean house, but most of all you enjoyed his little requests he'd make. Most of them when the two of you were alone, he'd ask you to sit in his lap and talk with him about his day, or he'd ask for many kisses because he was truthfully addicted to them at this point.

Only issue was, every now and again when the two of you were in public and he was feeling particularly jealous he'd request...more forward things, not that consent was a issue, the two of you were married after all, but with so many people around...you had a hard time giving him what he wanted.

"Come on...just one extra deep kiss, I want to make sure everyone knows you're my wife, especially that annoying server who kept eyeing you." Your face was more than a little blushed, the server and most of the customers watching the two of you like you were modern day entertainment...but there wasn't anything wrong with what wanderer wanted...so you couldn't just say no...

"Very well...one more kiss..."

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

You set a stack of documents on Neuvillettes desk, straightening out any other loose papers for him and taking his crystal clear cup so you refill it with some more water, "Neuvillette, can I get you anything else?" He looked up from his work, his eyes instantly filling with warmth when they met yours...sometimes he got so wrapped up in his cases he forgot how gorgeous and sweet you were, "Mon amour...I apologize for not saying thank you earlier...I was to focused on my work. You've done more than enough for me, I appreciate it immensely...in fact I'm not sure what I would do without you."

You blushed at his kind words and leaned in to give him a kiss, his hand intertwining with yours while the other touched your cheek, "I love you Neuvillette."

"I love you too."

𑁍༄Cyno:

Cyno held your hand softly, walking with you around the many shops in Sumeru city, keeping a eye out for any wrong doers while you picked out fresh food for dinner. This time you held up a water melon for him, wondering if he'd like it for dessert... "Hmm what about this for desert honey?" He looked at the fruit for a moment, smiling in a way you knew meant he had a joke he wanted to tell you, "I'd have to arrest you for a melony if you don't make that for desert...get it? Melony, felony?"

You giggled happily and reached over to grab some more vegetables, holding up a carrot with a mischievous smile, "I get it...but I'm afraid I do not carrot all for your joke." You winked at him and he had to stand there for a minute to recuperate, he was actually dazed from falling for you so hard...all over again, "I...I love you so much. Never leave me..."

"Your wish is my command my love."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚Have a nice day*⁠.⁠✧

[uselesssomebody]

Hi! I saw your post asking abt Miguel fanfics, and id love to read a fanfic abt spider-man 2099! Could you write a fanfic (can be as much fluff, angst, or smut as you want) where F!reader is SpiderWoman, and goes to catch an anomaly with Miguel; her partner that’s slowly becoming fond of reader, yet doesn’t want to admit it. During their mission, reader gets hurt and Miguel confesses while treating her wounds, thinking she’s unconscious and he’s scared to lose her- even to see her hurt. If not that’s totally fine Ill read anything you publish!

𝕞𝕚 𝕔𝕚𝕖𝕝𝕠 - miguel o'hara x spider!reader

complete masterlist | miguel o'hara masterlist

words || 𝟛.𝟜𝕜

summary || in which miguel makes a confession when he thinks reader can't hear him

a/n || grumpy x sunshine trope but plot twist, he's a total simp (reader is too tbf)

➵ thanks for the request anon! very cute love this trope a lot, and hope you enjoy. also your last sentence is literally such a massive compliment for me you're so sweet i love you <3

➵ my tiktok is disrespectfully feral (like him) about this man what the fuck

➵ a bit of spanish in this one, all thanks to a lovely user on here! for non-spanish speakers, translations are below the warnings.

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smidge of angst

translations

➵ mierda - shit

➵ mi cielo, por favor no puedo perderte - my darling, please, i can't lose you

➵ también eres mi cielo - you're also my darling

miguel o'hara was a man of few words.

miles could attest to it, alongside gwen, pav, hobie, and peter b.

the lot of them liked - nay, loved - to talk, so his stark silence always seemed out of place, and his long pauses in between words owed to a lot of shifty stares between the group, or awkward silences. thus, the only person who really got along with him was mayday, who could happily spend every moment of her day babbling nonsensically at him as he desperately tried to keep her from crawling all over him.

that was one of the few things he was very bad at.

so, it was a complete shock to gwen when she could hear animated talking from miguel's... uh - lair? platform? she wasn't sure what exactly it was yet. in her intrigue, she grabs miles - the poor guy trying to grab a bagel from the cafeteria - and tells him to follow her. his brows also furrow at the noises, and they decide to wait a moment before alerting miguel to their presence.

"that's ridiculous!" his voice is loud, incredulous, and it causes the other person - a decidedly feminine voice - to ring out in a laugh.

"you're so unimaginative. think big, o'hara! sure, it's complicated, but it's the perfect plan." her tone makes it obvious there's a smile on her face, but what surprises them in that miguel sounds like he also has one on his face. gwen looks shocked. she didn't know he could smile.

they both suddenly feel a palm on their shoulders, and they yelp in surprise. pav's excitable voice greets them, asking what they were doing. miles desperately tries to get him to lower his voice, but it's too late, as the door is already sliding open.

miguel looks at the three of them, a little unimpressed, and she waves at the lot of them from behind him. the platform begins lowering at a snail's pace, and miguel waits stoically for it to reach ground level. impatient, and having already been subject to the move several times, she rolls her eyes, shooting a web out from her wrist to reach the tall ceiling and gracefully lowering down to them. miles found it very poppins-esque.

"hey guys!" she mumbles cheerfully. though pav's face is covered by his mask, she smiles at his obvious beam behind it, ruffling his hair as she comes to stand next to them, looking up to see miguel still being lowered down, "any day now," she jokes to the three teens, and miles snorts at the sarcastic comment.

"can i... help you?" miguel raises an eyebrow as his platform finally reaches ground level. he eyes the younger spiders inquisitively. miles and pav look between each other, not really sure now why they were here, and gwen speaks up.

"it's earth-587 - they had an alchemax breach, and the home spider needs help stopping the burglar." she speaks quickly, having been tasked by jessica to alert miguel of the news. she'd been steadfast in the communication, of course, until she'd been distracted by the sounds of laughter - she still couldn't believe it - that she heard.

miguel looks at her sternly.

"we're not mall cops, a burglary is hardly an issue." he drawls, still unimpressed. she stands up a bit straighter.

"the villain is some rich megalomaniac who wants to hop dimensions in order to accumulate more wealth." she deadpans, and miguel looks at her, slightly more interested.

"alright, yeah. drew told you to tell me? let her know i'll handle it." gwen nods, before turning to leave with miles and pav. as they do, so too does the woman he was talking to, waving animatedly.

"that sounds fun, o'hara. bye!" before she can take more than a few steps alongside the teens, they all hear the spongy sound of a web being shot out, and she stops in her tracks, before being dragged back. miles yelps in shock, not realizing what was happening, before coughing to give off an impression of nonchalance, making gwen chuckle behind her hand. pav laughs at the woman's decidedly deadpan expression as miguel pulls her back towards him with the web.

"not so fast. who do you think i'm sending out to catch him?" he mutters, as the teens finally step out. she rolls her eyes.

"i feel like i do all your work for you." she mumbles sarcastically. he releases her, turning around and not acknowledging the comment.

"sure you do." he responds, matching her tone with ease.

as the teens step out, pav is grinning behind his mask. miles looks at him quizzically, and gwen begins walking forward, already knowing what he's gonna say.

"so, how long are we saying?" he asks animatedly, "one month? two months?"

"what?" miles asks, honestly befuddled.

"he's guessing how long o'hara and that girl have been together," gwen answers, already knowing a lot about pav's tendency to see romance where she wouldn't or couldn't. what surprised her, though, was miles' immediately agreement.

"thank god i wasn't the only one!" he exclaims, immediately beginning to chatter away with pav in solidarity.

"alright, boss," she salutes, stepping onto his platform, "what's the plan?" for a moment, miguel doesn't respond, simply looking at her, before she snaps her fingers in front of his face, "hey! you fall asleep, o'hara?" miguel shakes his head, sighing in exasperation, as she laughs to herself. though he shows his annoyance while looking at her, as he turns to pull up the fact file of that universe, a small smile graces his lips, appreciating the sound of her laugh and the way it looks on her face.

she leans over his shoulder - or, she tries to, before seceding to his tall frame and instead peeking past his arm - as she raps her fingers in an anticipating manner over his bicep. usually, he didn't love people touching him - having to deal with an overly ecstatic peter b. on occasion - but he didn't mind anything about her, in all honesty.

realizing this, he sighs harshly, hoping she doesn't comment on it, as he scolds himself for getting distracted. he had one of, if not the most important jobs in the multiverse, and he couldn't allow himself to feel so vulnerable around - a coworker, essentially. but, goddamn, did she make him smile. she was the only one who did, he was sure. he tries to ignore it, though it becomes increasingly difficult as her pretty side profile moves past him, reading the file intently. pretty? fuck. he was gone.

she looks over at him expectantly, and he blinks, hoping his staring wasn't too noticeable, "so... he's created a gizmo." she knew it poked him when she called it that, as he now found the name a little cringy. she disagreed. she thought it was cute.

she thought he was cute.

well, maybe cute wasn't the right word - it's hard to call a 6'7" guy who's built like that cute - but somehow, he was.

when she first met him, he was damn stoic and quiet - only focused on his job. and she understood - of course, the fate of universes could lie in his decisions. she, at first, was just glad to have been allowed into this elite society, so she kept her nose in her work, not straying far from it. soon, though, as she established herself as not only highly skilled, but also highly successful in her assigned missions, she took the opportunity to be herself around the others, knowing her nonchalant and jokey attitude wouldn't be enough for her to get reprimanded anymore. more importantly than that, she started seeing miguel a lot more, as he went from her boss - some guy a huge distance from her - to someone much more equal to her.

that led to the relationship - uh, working relationship, anything else she simply wished for - that they had: handling the big bads of the multiverse together. as partners. she was ecstatic at the idea, happy that her skill was being appreciated, and excited to know her work would be more valuable.

but then she met him. the - well, more - real him.

she was shocked to learn the man could laugh, the first time he let her signature spiderman humor - that she technically shared with most other versions of her - penetrate his cold and determined exterior. it wasn't exactly a laugh - more of a chuckle/snort - but it was more than enough for her to double take, and then smile.

as they set out on more missions together, she obviously appreciated his determination, strength and wit, but she really enjoyed those moments of softness, or when he'd react to her sarcastic humor.

and, of course, that time he had to hold her on their way back from that mission where she twisted her ankle was painful but very - uh, memorable.

she snaps out of her thoughts as he enlarges the information about both the villain's suit and universe-travelling machine.

"something like that," he starts, examining it further, before turning to the information about his suit, "his suit is built to withstand and reduce the effects of multiversal travel, and his defense and weapons seem to be modified military gear. so bullets and vests that just handle or deliver more damage." he mutters, and she nods.

"so - nothing too crazy." her confidence makes him smile, and he nods.

"yeah, sure." he looks over the information again, before shrugging, "a attack from the front and the back should be enough - front distracts while back webs. right?" he decides, nonchalantly. she grimaces.

"don't talk to me about your back webs," she jokes causing him to roll his eyes.

"understood?" he reiterates. she nods, saluting.

"yes, sir. should be home for dinner - heard they're serving empanadas!"

they were not back in time for dinner, much less in time for empanadas.

she'd decided it'd be easier for her to bait out the villain, knowing that most wouldn't take so kindly - nor give a moment of hesitation - to someone of miguel's build and stature. and it'd been fine, until miguel's overconfidence had led to only one of his hands being properly webbed up, allowing him to reach for his modified gun with its modified bullets. he had pointed it as miguel had his back turned, smiling down at her as he called over 587's spiderman to pick him up. she'd noticed before he could, pushing him out of the way before he could react. usually, she wouldn't be able to, but his shock left his position malleable, and his eyes widened - time slowing - as he could see the bullet puncture the side of her stomach.

he shouts out her name, reflexes working to catch her before she fell, and the sharp cry of pain she let out caused his heart to drop. he was pretty sure he had growled, shooting a web precisely at the villain's arm, and wrenching the gun from his grasp, only a hair away from doing something he'd regret. when a small "wait-" tumbles between her labored gasps, he places his anger to the side, immediately letting her squeeze his hand to power through the agony. he looks at her in confusion, wondering how the hell a bullet was causing her so much pain - especially with her spider-healing - but then remembered the modifications listed in the file - including increased damage. he breathes raggedly, completely unsure of what to do, as spider-587 swings past him, a little too excited for his liking.

before he can snap at the kid - he sounded like a college student, honestly - 587 notices her weakened health, coming to kneel beside the both of them. seeing the situation, he swallows harshly.

"uh - take her back to my place while i bring this guy in." he quickly mutters his address, and miguel nods gratefully, immediately picking her up, desperate to ensure that she can get patched up. he swings through the familiar-but-not streets of manhattan, clutching her tightly to him, as she does the same, worried about falling, but confident he wouldn't let her. his heart-rate quickens as he feels her tight hold on him weaken, a sign of her diminishing strength.

the window of the small apartment kitchen is open, and miguel slips inside, less careful than usual to be quiet, focused wholeheartedly on getting her situated. he slips into the bathroom, setting her down on the cold, tiled floor. she winces at the uncomfortable angle he has to have her in as she slumps against the wall, trying to take quick, deep breaths, but wincing whenever her chest rose. miguel desperately searched through the small bathroom's tiny cupboards, finding a first-aid kit. her eyes blink up at the stark green of the casing, a sigh of relief ghosting past her lips.

"you're okay - you're alright, just relax, okay?" he mumbles, tone uncharacteristically emotive. she hums a response, and the breath of her shaky exhale falls over his face as he bends down to examine the wound.

it's not great. far from it, in fact, as he can hardly see the bullet, wedged deep in her bleeding flesh. he lets out a ragged gasp, before forcing his mouth shut when he hears her whimper.

"is - is it bad?" she breathes out into the small space between them. he's not sure what to say. it objectively is, but he doesn't want her more upset in her current situation.

"i'll fix it," is the response he settles on, as he gets to work. in this job, he'd seen quite a few injuries - though not many were like this, and none that had happened to her. he works meticulously to extract the bullet and care for the wound, hyper-aware of how close they were. he could feel her soft breaths on the top of his head, her fingers would curl over his thigh as she tried to firm the uncomfortable sensations, and her chest would brush against his temple when she squirmed at the painful procedure. he tried to keep his mind focused, though it felt inclined to panic every time he heard her whimpers or gasps at a sting or ache.

what really made him panic, though, was when he stopped hearing them. having heard nothing but even breaths for the past minute or two, he looks up in confusion and sees her eyes closed, shoulders completely slumped.

"hey? you there?" he asks softly, waving a hand in front of her face, before decidedly getting more upset, his face scrunching in worry as he gently taps her face, careful not to move it too much, "hello? are you - mierda, mierda..." he trails off, voice becoming shaky. he looks over her face and, seeing the peace of it, he feels a strange mix of relief, that she seemed less in pain, and fear - as he'd seen that peace on many a dead man as well.

working more delicately, he continues the process, his eyes unable to leave her for more than a few seconds. he was trying to convince himself it was just to make sure she was still alright, but the more base part of him kept reminding him of just how much he cared about her, and how he truly hated the morbid thoughts that were encroaching his stressed mind.

"please, please don't give up on me," he mumbles, letting himself talk to keep sane, even though he knew she couldn't hear him, "fuck, stay strong for me. you're so strong, y'know that? and you're smart, and so skilled. i - i do really like working with you. even though - y'know, i'm kind of an asshole around you sometimes. you should see me around the others, though, that's just me. damn, that is just me," it'd transitioned to a ramble, "why - fuck, why do you even work with me? i'm so different from you, and you must feel weird in my company, but you're nice, and you always make me laugh - fuck. i do really like you. not just working with you. you - you mean so much more to me than you think and - well, i wish i could tell you that more often, dammit. i'm just..." he sighs deeply, his fingers brushing over her newly furrowed brows. he's worried that he'd hurt her, and he stops for a moment to let her unconscious self recover, before dropping his voice to a whisper, "i can't lose you, mi cielo, por favor no puedo perderte. i - i really need you to stay strong - stay alive for me." he looks at her relaxing brows, and turns away, beginning to work, as he curses himself internally for being stupid enough to not have said anything until the poor woman literally couldn't hear him.

except, she could. she was incredibly weak - too weak to move, or hold any tension in her muscles, or even open her eyes, but she was just slumped down - not unconscious. she had felt horrible when she couldn't open her mouth to tell him she was fine - well, at least, better than he thought she was - after she'd heard his worry, but she'd become truly upset she couldn't move when she heard his rushed and mumbled confession.

she wanted to reach up and tuck back that bit of hair that always fell over his face when he was working or stressed, and let her hands travel down behind his neck before she'd pull him in for a kiss, like she'd wanted to do for so long. she was over the moon at his words, her lips just barely parting in an effort to say something, but nothing came out. as she could hear him shift away, finally finished, she did fall asleep, still on the brink of returning his feelings.

it'd taken a night of sleep, but after the bullet had been taken out, her body had begun naturally healing, and by morning, she was nearly good to go. she still winced if she turned around too quickly, and miguel was absolutely insistent on half-carrying her to the on-deck infirmary at the spider society. it had led to a few confused glances in their direction, and hobie's admitted annoyance at seeing them together, so close. hobie didn't love miguel - as was known by most - but he found her much more interesting, and seeing that the both were definitely together - as confirmed by pav and miles' exclamations of the fact - he had resigned himself to a signature curl of his lips, before - after only a few short minutes - finding something else around him to critique.

as miguel set her down, she looked up at him expectantly, searching for that softness from yesterday. it didn't come in the form of his soft words, but rather in the look in his eyes, and the wordless moment he spent squeezing her hand, before mentioning something about having to go back to work, eyes averted from hers. she knew he must have felt awkward looking at her, not realizing she knew what he'd said, so she doesn't mind.

when she's discharged, she makes her way to his office, a box of empanadas from the cafeteria - saved, per her request - in her hand, and knocked on his door. he lets her in, lowering his platform in a heartbeat. she realizes it's going faster than usual, and laughs to herself, realizing he truly did do that slow drop for dramatic effect. he tries to refuse the food, suggesting she eat them and rebuild her strength, but she brushes him off.

"where would i be if you weren't playing doctor, miguel?" his eyes widen at her use of his first name - decidedly uncommon in their interactions.

"is - are you okay? didn't hurt you too bad, did i?" he mumbles softly, looking at her with a worried gaze. she shakes her head, smiling.

"not at all. i did want to mention something to you, though." he looks at her, inquisitive.

"yeah?"

"también eres mi cielo."

[rapz-rites]

Demon Spawns

Damian Wayne x Powered!Fem!Reader

When your’s and Damians future kids come to the present

A/N: Inspired by @cipheress-to-k-pop version of this. Please give me some feedback, it’s always appreciated :3

Word Count: 2500+

Warnings: mentions of a miscarriage, was lightly proofread and revised

Future

-Honestly, it’s not Mar’i’s fault

-You needed someone to watch the twins as you and damian had to go away on a business trip for a few dayside hours hours and I

-Mar’i eagerly accepted

-Yes, she knew she wasn’t supposed to bring the twins to the cave but she didn’t think this would happen

-The worst she expected was that they broke on of Tim’s gadgets

-She didn’t expect them to accidentally send themselves to the future

-You were going to kill her

-Mar’i did the only thing she could think of at the moment, call her best friend, White Rabbit, aka Lian Harper, to help her get them back

Present

- You and Damian had been dating for a year already

-You really loved him

-After 3 years of knowing him and 2 months of dating, it was only a matter of time until you both found out about each other

-Damian being Robin didn’t entirely surprise you, it just made a lot of sense

-The constant disappearing, the odd phone calls, the weird excuses

-At least he wasn’t cheating (Damian would NEVER cheat)

-Growing up adopted you never knew your birth parents, just that they had to have been metas because you have powers

-You had powers like Kori and more, you even kind of looked like her

-People joked that you could have been her daughter before she came to Earth

-Those jokes make her uncomfortable

-You thought everything about her was interesting: she’s heir to the thrown on Tamaran, her sister sold her, she’s been married 4 other times, and even the fact that she 9 stomachs

-Today was a normal day at the Manor

-Everyone was just chilling in the BatCave

-Bruce and Tim were working on a case on the BatComputer

-To you, everything in the BatCave started with a ‘Bat’

-BatKeys

-BatSeat

-Your secret name for Alfred was Batler (Bat + Butler )

-Dick and Kori we flirting talking by the weapons

-And you were watching Damian train with Jason

-Watching Damian train was one of your favorite pastimes whenever you were in the cave

-Suddenly a bright light purple light flashed in the middle of the cave, right between Damian and Jason as they were jumping to attack each other,

-The light startled them, causing then the jump back

-All the heroes prepared themselves in a fighting stance

-Next thing everyone knew, two small babies, a girl and boy, were in the middle of the cave

-They looked like they could be twins, but you couldn’t say for certain from where you were standing

- Everyone was surprised, two random babies just appeared out of nowhere

-“Aye, Big Bat. Bet you don’t have a protocol for this, do ya?” Jason says trying to break the silence

-The two babies looked around confused

-They couldn’t be older than a 9 months

-Last they checked they were with Mar’i in the BatCave, now they were in the BatCave with strangers they didn’t recognize

-BOOM, waterworks

-“I’ll go and get Alfred” Tim said dashing up the stairs

-Everyone knew he was probably the least qualified to deal with children, mainly because he’s always sleep deprived

-Naturally the two most recent parents went and scooped one up

-“How did they get here?” Dick asked rocking the girl in his arms

-They both calmed down a bit looking at the person holding them and back at each other and back at the adult

-They stopped crying, but were still fussing

-“While they’re like this let’s get saliva for a DNA test to find out who their parents are”

-Bruce took two swabs and collected saliva from each of the babies

-After, Dick and Kori passed the babies around to see if anyone could calm them down

-It wasn’t until Bruce handed you the little boy that he stopped crying, cooing in your arms and little hands reaching for your face

-Jason stopped, looked at Damian, and questioned if it would be the best idea to hand a baby to him

-“Is handing Damian a crying baby the best idea?”

-“Probably not, but it’s the only idea we have” Dick responded

-Handing the baby girl to Damian, she looked at him and stopped fussing, smiling at the face in front of her

-“Never thought I’d see the day” Jason chuckled

-“What do you think their names are?” Kori asked gaining everyone’s attention

-“How about we get in a circle, go in a circle calling out random names and see who they go to” you spoke

-Everyone nodded and hummed in agreement

-You and Damian placed the babies on the floor jointing everyone else in the circle

-Before you could call the first name, a voice interrupted you

-“After this game, I believe you will be needed these”

-The voice belonging to none other than Alfred said

-Tim decided to join the circle at that point

-“Thank you” you called out

-Alfred gave you a small smile and nod before heading up the stairs

-You all started with your little game ‘Name the Babe’

-“Makayla”

-“Isaiah”

-“Nick”

-“Elizabeth”

-After 5 minutes of calling names and receiving no reaction from the babies, a ding

-It was from the BatComputer, signaling the results from the DNA test

-Dick and Kori

-Bruce opened the test and everyone had a face mixed with shock and confusion

-Under ‘FATHER’ was a picture of Damian

-”The Demon spawn had a spawn.”

-Under ‘MOTHER’ was a question mark and underneath it was ‘match not found’

-You turned to Damian with a look a shock, confusion, and… betrayal and one that said ‘please don’t tell me you cheated on me’

-Damian took a step towards you, and you took a step back

-You rushed up the stairs heading into the manor

-Damian rushed after you

-“This makes no sense. Damian has only ever been with anyone other than YN and Raven”

-“And he’s not the type for random hookups”

-Bruce checked the database and noticed he didn’t have yours or Ravens DNA in the system

-“Kori contact Raven and have her come to the BatCave”

-“Bart!” Tim shouted

-“What? Haven’t you been paying attention, Damian is the father not Bart” Jason retorted

-“I know that! But Bart’s from the future. Who says the babies can’t be too?”

-Back in the manor, Damian was looking all over for you

-Your car was still parked in front, so you were somewhere in the manor

-Fifteen minutes later Damian found you on his bed, facing the window, looking at the garden

-You’ve always loved how Damian’s room faced the garden

-He slowly walks towards you until he’s also on the bed

-“Beloved-”

-“I was pregnant”

-“What? When?”

-“Four months ago. I lost the baby early on, I didn’t even know until I went to the ER. I thought it was food poisoning from that Thai place I went to with Steph and Cass, but they told me I had a miscarriage. I was 3 weeks”

-“Why didn’t you tell me?”

-“I didn’t know how and I was somewhat relieved. I always told myself I’d wait until I was married to have kids. Also we can’t raise a kid now Dami. We’re only 21 and you work in a dangerous field.”

-You put your foreheads together, caressing his cheek with your hand

-Damian just wrapped his arms around you, pulling you down, forcing you to lay with him and you accepted his embrace

-“Todd messaged me”

-“What did he say”

-“Tim come to the conclusion that the babies most likely came from the future and father doesn’t have yours or Raven’s DNA is the system, Raven is on her way so they can run the test again”

-“And if they’re not mine”

-“Let’s not worry about that right now”

-After an hour of silence and Damian just holding you, you both make your way back to the BatCave hand in hand

-Raven, and even some League members, are now there too

-“Can I see the little ones” Diana asked with a smile on her face

-She has always had a soft spot for children

-“Careful. She just ate” Kori informed her, handing Baby Girl over

-While you and Damian were gone, Tim made the executive decision to call them Baby Girl and Baby Boy until the mother was determined

-“Awww, so precious”

-The Themyscrian rocking the small baby in her arms

-Baby Girl soon became fussy, most likely from Diana��s cuffs

-Diana handed the baby off to Raven

-It made sense

-We were here to see if you or Raven would be their mother (yk that motherly connection)

-Once Baby Girl was in Ravens arms she quickly calmed down, almost as quickly as she did with Damian

-You didn’t show it, but you felt a pang in your heart

-Damian just squeezed your hand lightly but you couldn’t take your eyes off Raven and Baby Girl

-Bruce spoke up, breaking you out of your trance

-“I need both of you to get a good saliva swab”

-You and Raven both did as told

-“Here. My arms are getting numb” Dick says handing Baby Boy to you

-You smile at the tiny human in your arms

-After 10 of waiting, a BatComputer dinged

-Bruce went to open the results

-Damian standing right behind him, and you and Raven on each side of him

-On the screen where a picture of the babies

-When did they take that picture?

-The babies were at the bottom middle and above them was the same picture of Damian as earlier and under ‘MOTHER’ was a picture of…

-You

-WAIT! How did they get that picture?

-You were too happy to question that

-“Happy to say that Baby Girl and Baby Boy are Y/N’s and Damian’s ”

-“Thank Azarath”

-You laughed at Raven, she pulls you into a hug

-“These babies are so adorable but I don’t think I’m cut out to be a mother. I’ll gladly babysit though”

-“Wait. You guys have been calling them Baby Girl and Baby Boy?”

-No one other than Wally West would ask that question

-“Come one. You can think of something better to call them”

-Before you could say something, Damian stepped in

-“Actually we already know their names”

-You smiled

-You handed Baby Boy to Damian

-“This is Soren Jackson Wayne”

-“Jackson after Drake”

-You walked over to Raven, who was holding a sleeping Baby Girl, and picked her up

-“And my gorgeous daughter. You are Jaylena Mariah Wayne. Jaylena inspired after Jason but means blue crested bird aka Nightwing. For that time you both saved me”

-You and Damian make eye contact not breaking it even when the others spoke

-Dick and Jason both smiled

-Jason punched Roy’s side

-”See that. Demon spawn named his spawn after me”

-“Don’t worry father we plan on naming the next ones after your mother and father”

-You looked away quickly,

-Bruce had a shocked look on his face

-“There’s going to be more?!”

-Jason could already see it: A demon army

-Suddenly another bright light flashed in the middle of the BatCave

-Everyone but you and Damian had a fight stance ready

-Bruce and Dick stood in front of you and Damian

-Two people now stood in the middle of the BatCave, they looked like vigilantes

-One was dressed in all white, with a matching white masked with bunny ears falling along her wavy ginger hair

-The other, well anyone could tell who she was

-Mar’i Grayson

-“Hi mom. Hi daddy”

-The girl in all white removed her mask as she walked towards Roy giving him a big hug

-“Hi dad”

-It was obvious to say that Dick, Kori, and Roy were baffled

-It wasn’t even a few hours ago they saw their daughters in the care of Barry and Iris, playing along with the other superhero kids

-Now they were teenagers, vigilantes at that too

-Mar’I was walking towards you with a pleading look

-“Sis”

-Sis?

-Mar’I never called you sis

-She always called you this funny tamaranean name she heard from Kori, it’s supposed to be a pretty flower but dangerous or something

-“I am so so so so so sorryyyyy. I know you told me not to bring them to the BatCave by myself but it was only for a minute to get something. I didn’t think they would get sent to the past. I put Sor and Lena down for a second then boom they’re gone. Please don’t kill me”

-She turns to Kori and Dick

-“Please don’t ground me”

-You step towards her

-“I can tell you didn’t want this to happen and I know my future self will probably get on you for this. So just please, please get my babies home safely”

-Mar’i nodded eagerly as you handed her Jaylena

-“I promise. I really don't want to be on the LoA’s bad side” she chuckles

-Damian looked slightly confused at the remark

-He gave Soren to Lian, staring her down with a look that says ‘drop or hurt my son, I’ll hurt you’

-“Daaaaddd”

-“Stop scaring my daughter Damian”

-“Tt”

-“Anyways… Congrats on your…nevermind” Mar’i stops when she noticed your promise ring that Damian gave you

-Soren looks at Mar’i, reaching for her but found it no use when Lian wouldn’t let him

-He looked upset

-As he started fussing a blue power orb slowly started to form about a foot above him

-Thinking of only your kids safety, you quickly absorbed the energy

-“Our kids have powers?” Damian asked in shock

-Naturally you were in shock too

-You barely knew the full extent of your powers compared to other metas your age, and now at least one of your kids will have them too

-“At the moment only Soren does. He uhm… does that sometimes. So far it only happens when he’s mad or extremely fussy.”

-Lian’s watch starts beeping

-Before she can even open her mouth Mar’i talks

-“We really have to go now”

-Damian walks up next to you, placing a hand on your waist

-“Bye Uncle D. Bye bye sis”

-Again with the sis?

-You and Damian give a small wave goodbye

-Just like that, with a flash, they’re gone

-Everyone goes their respective ways

-Tears start to well in your eyes when it’s just you and Damian in the BatCave

-“Let’s go to bed, Beloved. It’s been a long day”

-You follow him to his room and you both go to sleep

-That night you dream about your future with Damian, Jaylena, and Soren

Back to the Future(hehehe see what i did there)

-“Great! They’re still sleeping. We can get them to bed before Y/N and Damian get home”

-Mar’i was ready for this day to be over

-She knew she would get hell from you and Damian for what happened

-“Oh. We’re home. What happened?”

-Hearing your voice, Lian took that as her que to hand Soren over to Damian and hop out

-Mar’i turns around to see you and Damian dropped head to toe in LoA attire

-“Uncle D. Sis. Back already?”

-Damian walks over to Mar’i also taking Jaylena in his arms

-He walks over to you, with both twins in his arms, placing a kiss on your temple

-“I’ll put them to bed while you deal with Mar’i”

-With that Damián walks up the stairs into the manor

-“Before you blow a fuse, I know I shouldn’t have brought the twins to the Cave but I had no choice. I couldn’t leave them upstairs by themselves. As soon as they flashed to the past I immediately got help to go get them. And I almost ruined your proposal surprise but i didn’t so that’s something. I promise this will never ever EVER happen again”

-“Go home”

-“What?”

-“Go home. It’s late and we’re all tired. We’ll talk tomorrow”

-“Oh ok”

-You retire to yours and Damian’s shared bedroom as Mar’i leaves

-“What did you tell her”

-“To go home and we’ll talk tomorrow. You know she almost ruined your proposal”

-“Not surprised”

-You slip into bed, cuddling up next to Damian, head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist

-You bring your left hand up admiring your engagement and wedding rings

-“It was a great proposal”

-“Damn right it was”

-You chuckled

-You look up at a sleeping Damian, admiring the man he grew to be

-Physically he’s always been attractive, but he grew mentally and emotionally

-He wasn’t the same boy who entered the manor when he was 10, emotionally and mentally detached from everyone, doors and windows shut to everyone, stubborn as a mule

- Actually, Damian will always be stubborn

- You both grew to care deeply for each other

… after writing for about 15-20 minutes I decided I wanted to make a part 2 but of the proposal…😚

I kinda want to make another version, the kid is like a teen. Should I???

Should I write why Mar’i called the reader ‘sis’?? Wouldnt y’all like to know? Do you have any ideas?

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

SKZ!BFF DRUNKLY CONFESSING PT.2 pt.1

||BANG CHAN||LEE MINHO||SEO CHANGBIN||HWANG HYUNJIN||HAN JISUNG||LEE FELIX||KIM SEUNGMIN||YANG JEONGIN||

Disclaimer:im completely whipped for this man im sorry😔 also big author’s note at the end but read it please!:(

Last night’s incident was still replaying itself in your head. The thought that Jeongin THE Jeongin likes you was just unimaginable to you.

When you moved to Seoul, away from your friends who were your support system, you felt lost. Then somehow you found yourself getting to know a friend group with 8 boys, one of them being Innie. He instantly stood out for you and you slowly became a part of them too.

When you first realised you’ve developed feeling for Jeongin, you immediately denied them in your head and just threw those feelings to the corners of your mind.

After a while the feelings climbed up on you again and the second time you couldn’t shove your feelings away, you had to face reality. You knew you wouldn't be able to confess to him so you just tried to enjoy the scenarios that you came up with. But none of the scenarios contained him confessing to you while being wasted.

His texts were good to read but are too good to be true…You just told yourself that he’s drunk and is talking completely nonsense that he’s not aware of.

But there was the smallest bit of hope in you that wanted it to be true. So when his caller ID showed up on your screen you were secretly hoping that he wants to tell you he likes you and not that it’s a mistake and you should just forget it.

After anxiously pressing the green button, you put the phone to your ear.

“Y/nah, are you there?” Jeongin’s voice was unsure and not loud like he normally is. “Yeah Innie, I’m here!” You answered and sounded just as nervous as he did, if not more. There was a bit of a silence that scared you a bit, but then he broke the ice.

“I’m just gonna get to my point y/nah…”-he took a deep breath and you did too-“I'm sorry for last night and i'm sorry if i caused trouble with the texts, but i have to admit that i meant them all…I do like you y/n, a lot to be fair and I know this is not a good confession and I’m sorry it turned out this way. This wasn’t my plan at all, but I guess it is what it is…” His voice faded away and you were shocked. He actually likes you?? You didn’t want to believe it.

“Wait Jeonginah are you being serious?” You asked him in complete disbelief. “I do, I’m sorry I-“ “Jeongin don’t you dare apologise to me! You know how happy I am to know that my long-time crush likes me back!!” You interrupted him.“I’m just in shock, but I’m very very very happy Innie-“ “Gosh Y/n-ah i'm so glad you feel the same way, gosh i was so scared you’d freak out or just hate me” he interrupted you this time. “Oh no Iyenah, I can’t even explain how happy I am” you told him excitedly and you died inside when you heard him giggling on the other side of the line. You smiled to yourself at the sound.

“Y/nah can you maybe pretty please come to the company tomorrow during my lunch break so we can meet up and…maybe have our first date?” He asked excitedly and loudly, your usual Innie was back now.“Oh my god I’d absolutely love to!!” You told him, already freaking out. “Yessss” he cheered and you smiled at him fondly.“Then see you tomorrow at 2pm at the company lobby?” He asked cheekily. You laughed at the sudden change in his tone. “Yes, Innie, see you then. “See you baby!” And as soon as he dropped that pet name on you he ended the call leaving you very flustered, but also super giddy, already daydreaming about tomorrow.

A/n: wow I finished this series! I enjoyed it and i hope you enjoyed it too!<3 thank you for liking my work and reading it! Your feedbacks are always welcomed! Im gonna work on requests now!!(ive got two and i like them a lot so im excited to work on them!<33

Also guys i have a skz!predebut x 9th gn!member series (just two parts) and i dont know if i should continue it or no so

If anyone has any request idea’s they’re very welcomed!! I basically have no idea what to write but i do want to write!!😭 so i need you guys to suggest me something please! Here’s my requesting guideline so you know how to and what to request!&lt;3

Please take care of yourself and be safe!🫂❤️‍🩹

Taglist: @justwonder113 (comment or write in requests if you want to be added!)

[shradsmanifestt]

hi, im sorry for bothering u right now. ive been asking around for advice everywhere because i really need all the help i could use right now. my anxiety is flaring up like crazy because my results come out tomorrow and im so scared because if i mess this up then my future is ruined. my mental health has been horrible and that has severely affected my grades but in most asian countries they dgaf about that and basically think it's nonexistant for minors so ofc i'm still undiagnosed, and if i were to apply to a uni i wouldnt get any good chances anywhere. if i could just get 3 Bs in my AS levels it would be okay or else i'd have to retake it and it's super costly here.. i don't wanna put my family through that because they'll talk me down, degrade me, destroy my self esteem which i've managed to build back a little. they were like this since when i was the topper and thats what made me burnout. undiagnosed adhd, trauma, depression also contributed to it

im applying the law, but instead of the feeling of success that everyone else gets i feel panicked. the 'feeling' people usually get when they're in the wish fulfilled state, the feeling of accepting it and it being real—im not getting that. i dont see a clear picture when i visualize. every time i try to, i end up breaking down and feeling like a failure... but I'm still trying to go on because why is it that the people who hurt me and practically ruined my life get to live successfully, while i suffer? thats not fair... i promised myself that if i could just get 3 Bs, ill turn my life around and work really hard... but is it over for me? i want to win, im trying to, but im scared

im trying my best to visualize myself getting 3 Bs, reenacting my friends faces when i get the results, praying to God and thanking Him for blessing me and continuing to bless me, but there is this fear still lingering at the back of my mind... i feel like I'm not doing it right. i have like one day left and I'm so nervous. im going over posts, tweets, and every time I feel a little better, it all comes crashing down because of doubts. theres only one thing one my mind right now: 'how am I gonna turn it around in one day?' i know that the 3D does not matter and that everything is done in imagination, but here i feel like its not done in imagination either

right now nothings clicking in my head, whatever i read is getting scrambled in my mind, i feel so lost and empty. could u please tell me what to do in this specific situation? u can be as harsh as you want if that's what's needed to get the point across. im really sorry for the bother and id be really grateful if u could please help out, ive never been this desperate before... my life cant be over before it even started

Hey love,

I get you, I really do but trust me when I say this.

THIS SHIT IS REAL AF. Manifestation is real af. It's as real as the fact that you are a human being. All you have to do is trust yourself that it is already done. If good results is what you want then that is exactly what you'll get. You need to choose to stop having doubts because it is already done. That is the simplest answer I can give you. Persist on what you want.

I am glad to tell you this but I just got test results for a major exam held in my uni today and I got into the 95th percentile just by saying to myself that my super power is aptitude tests and that I already scored great. In my friends group only 3 of us were eligible and I have 70+ more marks then them as well. If I can do it, you can do it. You need to stop doubting yourself. Atleast stop doubting manifestation. Cause at this point you're only gonna manifest your doubts.

I'll give you a scenario - If you're worried about getting bad grades, Trust me when I say this you're gonna manifest exactly that coz you will manifest exactly what you assume. You can choose to stop that right here, RN. Choose to accept that you got great marks. I mean don't even like aim for B's go for A's. I don't care even if you left the paper blank coz if you assume you're the topper, that is exactly what's gonna happen.

If you do get bad marks and I'm gonna be harsh here - You're the only reason why! You're gonna manifest exactly what you assume to be true even if it's good or bad. Your sc mind don't differentiate btw what's good for you or what's bad for you. It only knows what you feed it.

You got this, TRUST ME

Love, Shrads.

[softxsuki]

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

[just-orbiting-you]

Before you judge me I would like to clear it I’m a JK biased army and have loved seeing jikook since 2017. 3 episodes in, I realised this is the most detached jikook interactions I have ever seen. Some would say they are meeting after a long time (which is terrible imo if I see them as a couple) and there’s cameras so it’s obvious there might be awkwardness amongst the two but THIS also isn’t their first rodeo so all of it is pretty saddening. All that skinship doesn’t faze me anymore cause how JK was treating JM was something I wouldn’t even treat a friend (and never a LOVER) that I have met after years. Especially if that friend is sick and suffering. I tried to explain myself that maybe he tried to lighten the atmosphere by giving JM time to rest while entertaining us thru other ways but apart from jokes, there wasn’t a hint of reassurance from his side. And you could say he built a stone shrine but i just that’s how JK is. He’s spontaneous, saw some stones and built it. We don’t even see him wishing for JM as everyone says. And this is so opposite of the JK I have always seen with JM. Sure I got to see his caring side with how he shared food and drinks with the staff. That’s the considerate JK I love and have seen through years. But I couldn’t locate this JK in any way with his interactions with JM. Again they were meeting after a time… okay yes they were but in this same period that they haven’t allegedly met we saw JK giggling and asking JM to meet multiple times in his Weverse lives in 2023, watching compilations of JM related content and I thought it’s so obvious that this guy is missing JM and loves & cares for him and that’s what is the blatant difference in Wlives and AYS JK like it’s two different people.

I have never really been threatened by Tae’s presence in Jikook matters cause I simply never saw any thing romantic like in their interactions but Jikook has been a different story to me with all the growth in their dynamics, GCF tokyo, rose bowl and so much more. Through all this period, I have only seen the soft loving dynamic between the two so AYS has been a huge shock for me. Even if they weren’t together it would be sad but definitely okay for me but even in last episode JK said hope you get a bad stomach again this time or saying why didn’t his boat flip and trying to push the kayak and all of it was a no-no for me because it was surprising to see him say these things when I know he’s always been a considerate and respectful guy every time. Is this only me?

disclaimer

i understand this conversation was happening last week, but it is coming back again i believe. i hope my answer to this illuminates that i am sort of over this level of scrutiny of their words and actions, because it gets us nowhere and i am often left feeling a little sad. id rather let us enjoy this content for what it is right now and see what the hell comes out of it. also please be respectful if anyone chooses to add on to this conversation thanks.

my immediate reaction to the show was a similar level of confusion and slight disappointment at the perceived difference in ays' jikook. the bickering over the parking, the crude bathroom humor, and jungkook's comments about jimin's kayak like you mentioned all were also shocks to me too. but as time went on, i tried to let go of it. i needed the reality check that we will truly never fully understand jikook's bond.

we are used to finding small crumbs in larger scale pieces of content - sort of like ays ep 3. and oddly enough those are the softer moments. little little small things like jungkook's hand on his knee and his concern after jimin got hurt. that's the jungkook i am used to. but you zoom out of those moments and they feel different - why? we've never seen them just exist. this may be a regular part of their friendship dynamic that we have just never seen. i do think jungkook growing up does play a part as well. i found him to be much more loud, talkative, and brash then i previously assumed. but the reminder that they are people who will change overtime is very needed and valid.

i don't really know what to make of it, but i don't want to make inferences. yes, it is jarring in places, but i don't exactly know what it means for their friendship because... i am not apart of their relationship. the only thing i know is jimin still decided to spend time with him, keep the show going, and eventually enlist with him. jimin hasn't had problems speaking with jungkook about his actions in the past (rainy day fight call out), so i truly think if jungkook did something to hurt him, he would say so. i trust them to manage their relationships themselves.

i know this gets into speculation territory, but i feel like the camera may play a bigger difference then we think. jungkook says at the end of ep 2 that "we should become entertainers so good we can do this til we're 50." jungkook is also the one concerned with the theme of the show and are you sure?! as a whole. jimin just seems to be trying to make the most of his bad fortune on these trips. i think if anything, jungkook is turning to joking and silliness for the sake of the show's entertainment factor. also, we are only seeing select, edited clips from a 72 hour-long trip. jungkook does check in with jimin verbally a few times across the first two eps and i'm hoping he did help jimin out as much as he could, but that all could very well be cut out. from the editing point of view, it's not about those tender moments. why include jimin getting continuously sprayed with water guns and a bunch of poop jokes (aka embarrassing him on camera), but seemingly none of these quieter conversations and intimate moments that most likely did happen? it's for the sake of the show and its narrative. it would be really funny if a lot of this pops up in the behind the scenes footage. there's always a grain of salt you need to take while watching these contents, since we sincerely will never have a full glimpse into their relationship.

thank you for your ask anon! i appreciate your honesty on this show.

[minheelovelee]

lovelovelove ur works ! would u mind doing a harua nsfw a-z? thank uuu

thank you for requesting!!!! 6 months later i actually wrote this piece… BUT. i wrote it yaaayyy. anon this gave me horrible horrible rua brain rot. i want a pretty boy with a little waist and long eyelashes. :(((

side note: i’m sooo so scared of switch/dom harua??? i’ve seen some discourse, but im not convinced. if anyone has anything to say about dom rua, id love to hear it :)))

harua nsfw a-z

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- being dirty and sticky is a big no for rua. he likes to shower or take a bath after sex, no exceptions. wash his hair for him, please. he gets so clingy after sex. he likes to be babied, just for a little bit. </3

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- he likes when his waist and tummy are touched. slipping your hands under his shirt is a guaranteed way to hear some of his pretty sounds.

- arms are kind of his thing. he likes to link arms throughout the day and grab onto your biceps when getting ridden. arms also give hugs. he likes hugs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- he cums so fast. he is so sensitive.

- usually he’ll finish on his tummy or chest. he doesn’t cum inside without a condom, but hates wearing condoms. :|

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- he wants to get pegged. tied up and forced to take cock until he cries. :) he wouldn’t tell anyone that. obviously.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- no experience. he’s a real virgin and doesn’t know what he’s doing. he just tries to go use on your reactions. what actions cause this. and what actions cause that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- cowgirl. he loves being ridden. especially if he can get tits in his mouth. he holds on really tight when u ride him, so it’s hard to move up and down. moving forward and back does the same for him. so sensitive :(((

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- it took a while for him to warm up to sexual stuff. he liked to goof around at first, so he could get comfortable. now that he’s okay with different situations, he can focus more on the task at hand rather than his anxiety or awkwardness.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- i think he shaves well. he leaves a little something to look at. otherwise, he likes it mostly bare.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- he likes to be roughed up during sex, so intimacy isn’t the first thing on his mind during the actual deed. some days he likes to be wined and dined before sex, other days he wants to be choked against the wall. romantic aftercare is preferred, though :)))

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- he doesn’t jerk off often. he saves himself for the actual deed. he cums buckets and it makes him sooo much more sensitive.

- if u bought him toys or told him to play with himself, he would. but on his own accord, probably not.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- choking. he likes the pressure mixed with the mindless feeling he gets. brain tingle. feel good. he’ll scratch your arm and shove you away, then ask for more.

- power play. playing hard to get is his specialty. he can be so, so easy sometimes. it’s cute. other times, he is such a pain in the ass. overstimulating him until he cries usually does the trick. then he’s putty in your hands once more.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- the couch is a favorite for him. it’s risky and gets his little heart pumping. he loves to act like he doesn’t want your hand down his pants.

- the bedroom is another fav. when he wants to put more effort in. especially if ur gonna overstimulate him. get some privacy, he’s so loud.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- the word “no”

- threats and talk of punishment. dont tempt him with a good time.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- absolutely no armpits. he’s so ticklish. please don’t tickle him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- he’s not very experienced with oral, so it’s hard to judge his skills. he does a nice job for a beginner. he would 10/10 suck the strap.

- receiving head is one of his favorite things ever. anywhere and anytime. he would give up a lot for a single blowjob.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- he likes things slow. the build up really gets him going. sex with him consists of a lot of sloppy groping and messy kissing.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- he’s so down. he’d be fine having quickies often. after a few too many, he’d be pretty desperate for the real deal.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- he would be okay experimenting. he wants to learn from his partners and try new things. there’s a lot to be said about his interest in the human body.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- he can go two rounds typically. he’s wiped after one, so he needs recovery time. after morning sex, he’s ready by mid-afternoon for round two.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- he’d be open to using toys. but he’s not the type to buy them for himself. he is very interested in different types of toys, he might ask for a certain one to try out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- rua only strikes when provoked. he’s very gentle and receptive to feedback. after being teased a bit by his partner, you won’t be surprised to see him acting like he’s clueless. suddenly he’s too tired to be on top and he doesn’t know where the clit is. top-tier actor.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- he’s soooo whiny. if one hand is on his cock, the other better be over his mouth. he can’t help but be loud when he feels good.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- rua is so inquisitive. he’s constantly asking questions.

- “did i do a good job?”

- “i need more. can i have more?”

- “can i taste you, please?”

- “i was so close. why did you stop?”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- average or slightly below. maybe 5 inches? he’s a small guy in general.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- his sex drive is a bit higher than you’d expect. he’s often finding ways to get home faster so he can indulge himself in his partner. he feels guilty for all of two minutes before he remembers why he craved this so bad.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- out like a light. if he’s worn out, he’s going right to sleep. if he’s hugged tight enough, he could sleep anywhere.

- but before he falls asleep, he likes to talk about little things. “i saw a cloud that looked like an elephant today.” “would you still love me if i was a worm?” “why do our feet smell and our noses run?”

[liquidstar]

Okay so like I know little about ReZero (would love to watch it one day but, the content warnings) BUT I love people talking about things they like so. Assuming this isnt already a plot point, who in your opinion would be the FUNNIEST character to also be aware of/remember the time loops (Subaru in this case does NOT know they are in on it lol). If this is already a plot point please tell me about a neat bird or something you saw recently instead, thank you :)

THATS SO SWEEET THANK YOU <3 I ENJOY IT TOO SO IF YOU EVER WANNA INFODUMP ABT STUFF MY INBOX IS OPEN ^_^

ANYWAY. UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS A PLOTPOINT AND ITS NOT FUNNY </3

in the 4th arc subaru meets this witch lady, echdina, who kinda exists in a dreamworld, hard to explain, but shes aware of his timeloops. she implies that shes aware but tries to get him to say it himself. which he does so veeerrry hesitantly because he cant tell anyone Or Else. but after he realizes he can say it here, he has like, a total breakdown and keeps repeating his confession over and over again because he can finally tell someone about all this pain and suffering. and its an incredibly cathartic scene buuuuut she is very much manipulating him.

another character is vaguely aware of the loops but doesnt experience them/cant see them. that character is roswaal who is actually his boss. and the guy who has literally been PERSONALLY causing every single fucking issue hes had so far because some book told him to. and when things start going wrong he starts to, like, kick the shit out of subaru to try and get him to restart. yeah bosses are like that sometimes idk. everyone takes turns punching him at the end of this arc so its fine.

personally though if i had to pick a character whod be aware of the loops... id actually go with otto despite Everything. because i think hes the most likely to come out of the experience of watching his friend die horribly and come up with a plan, while also genuinely having subaru's best interest at heart. he doesnt care about anyone elses best interest tho, he was willing to let an entire country die for this guy. hes willing to kill the child he just adopted. so i think otto being aware would cause some fucking situations, especially if theyre not working together for a solution. i also think itd be funny if hes like "if we get gay in the timeloop no one has to know. ill just play dumb."

SO YEAH hes my pick for funniest one. all that being said im pretty sure i wrote up an episode by episode trigger guide if youre ever interested, i might have to touch it up tho. BUT if youre not interested theres never any pressure, this ask is already so sweet tysm again <3

[cod-thoughts]

Sorry you got some bad news, I hope you're doing okay <3 Numbers for the ask game; 4, 7, 38 please!

I'll be fine, it's just stuff on top of stuff on top of stuff so uhh not the best time and i have my finals starting in a few days too so its uhhh not great but i'll be fine it is what it is :O

Ask game in question!

4: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Oh boy theres a LOT, i use notion to like keep track of all my ideas cause it syncs nicely and its a good archive, i dont use it to write cause the spell check sucks lol but its good storage. The problem with that system tho is the moment i get an idea i jot it down there so theres currently 47 ramblings and ideas, some are similar so i eventually combine them! I did a random number generator to pick the idea lol and it was number 13: reverse dating trope, basically people not believing that a couple is together! Havent decided who yet but its probably gonna end up as a 5+1 knowing me lol

7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This was hard, mostly cause i dont think most of my stuff is that good but id have to say this section from day 1 of ghostpriceweek and its probably the work im most proud of to this day, i just think it flowed so well and that their voices are really solid. Here's a part of it that i like for no particular reason:

"He’d finished heating up a tin of beans, stirring it absently before putting the lid on it to keep it warm, and set the kettle on for tea, knowing Price would be done soon. The small tasks felt grounding, almost domestic—there’s that word again, strange but, maybe, it was what had been playing at the edges of his mind for a while now. This rare ease, this strange new rhythm. Ghost found himself watching the steam rising from the kettle, a bit lost in the warmth that filled the air.

He wasn’t quite sure when it happened—when the lines between Price as a superior, a mentor, had blurred into something… more. It was a disquieting thought, one he’d been trying to keep at bay, though not with much success. And here he was, cooking up beans and making tea, so utterly settled in Price’s presence that the prospect of leaving, of returning to the job, made him feel something uncomfortably close to hollow.

He never imagined this was even possible for him. To be alive and wanting something so fiercely. To want a life outside of being a soldier. It was all he ever knew but as the kettle clicked and he made them a cup each, exactly how Price liked it, it hit him like a blow: this was it. This was what he wanted, more than he’d ever wanted anything.

The bathroom door creaked open, and Price emerged, towelling his hair. He’d discarded his usual gear in favour of an old grey t-shirt, soft and worn, that clung to his still-damp skin. He looked… ordinary. Beautifully ordinary. Ordinary was the wrong word entirely for that man, Ghost realised, because there was something extraordinary in the way Price took up space, in how naturally he filled the room."

38: Talk about a review that made your day.

OOO this was somehow even harder omg i love every comment or tag i get they all bring me immense joy, even if its just a bunch of emojis i love it thank you <33 but i will say that these in particular made my day as it was an absolute mess of a day and i was really doubting everything; about to delete said story but @nekrosmos the angel that he is dropped this in the tags and so did @jgvfhl (excuse the light-mode my desktop for some reason decided its in light-mode lol) and it made me literally light up and altered my brain chemistry for that whole day so thank you both genuinely <33 and sorry for the random tag whoops