#if you REALLY wanted something modern. but nothing beats poker face

[thebigqueer]

i love dua lipa. however that was NOT the move!!!!!

[hongjoongtrasher]

the beauty and the beast (chapter 1)

word count: 2k461

angst

series masterlist

Synopsis:

When you move to a new city due to your father's job, you don't expect to stay for a long and so decided not to get attached to the world around you.

But still, you are "the new girl", unwillingly attracting people's attention because of your family's background. Your strict father expects a lot from you, not to say perfection. And when you are sit next to a certain Jung Yunho, you didn't expect your life to take a radical turn

You don’t even remember when you stayed more than a year in the same city. It probably started around the age of 3, when your father got his promotion he wanted for so long. That’s how your family used to move every year, or even shorter than this. You don’t remember having a childhood friend, and worst, have you ever had friends ?

The unfamiliar view of the busy city at your window made you remember that once again, you had to unpack the few items you owned. You quickly discovered it was more a burden to drag along unnecessary things that would later be a pain in the ass to unpack and pack forever. Only school books, clothes and some other accessories were keeping you company in this new room. So impersonal, cold. But it would stay this way, since you knew you’d probably move on again in few months. While tidying your room, you heard a knock on your door, making you look at it to see your father.

« Y/N ? Can we talk for a bit ? » he asked, a poker face on.

« Yes father. »

Father. From the moment you could speak, he always told you to call him father. No dad, or affectionate pet names. It was just showing the gap that have been created so far between you both. Your mom ? You don’t even remember her face. You learnt from your grand-mother a long time ago that your parents got divorced when you were just a newborn. The reasons to this separation are staying difficult to know, but your father never talked about her in your presence. You always thought that somehow she didn’t want you, that was probably the best reason you could thought due to the lack of her tries to contact you for 17 years. So instead of a mom, you grew up with a nanny who was still living with you and your father. She was a sweet and caring person, always making sure you weren’t lacking anything. You owed her a lot, knowing she was the one who was basically raising you up, of course with the directions of your father.

You soon arrived in the large living room, as impersonal as the rest of the luxurious apartment your father got from his work. It was neutral as possible, but still anybody could notice the taste for luxury he acquired with the time. Trophies, some modern canvas you couldn’t even interpret, a large TV with home cinema etc. Your father was sitting in his black leather armchair, in his usual white shirt and black suit. And you just sat down on the white sofa, waiting patiently for him to start.

« I got you a place in a school from a friend of mine. » he began, and you felt your body being rigid.

Studies were his obsession when it comes to you. You always had to be first, having the best grades, the best in every field you could reach. That was probably also the main reason of why you never got close friends. Because you were « Miss Perfect Brain » and the only child from a wealthy family, most of people thought you were just like one of those entitled kids who would think they are the one ruling in this world. But you were not. Actually, you never wanted any of those thing. How many times you wanted to go to clubs after class ? Just hanging out with kids from your age, sharing hobbies etc…But you never could because your father would always send you to study classes after your school schedules.

« The school ranking is pretty good, so I think you are able to reach 1st place right ? » he continued, his cold glare piercing your body, making you tighten your fists on your knees.

It would be a disaster for you to be 2nd. Actually not really for you, but for your father. With him, it was first or nothing, and nothing would results as punishment for you. Even since elementary school, he would force you to copy the mistakes you’d done until 2 in the morning, « to make you remember not to do the same mistakes again ». Sometimes depriving you from eating until you would perfectly recite the lesson. As a child, you had spent nights crying in your pillow, hating your father for being so mean to you, and today, you just gave up. As long as you were doing as told, everything would be fine, right ?

You nodded as an answer, finding the courage to finally look at his strict face.

« Y/N, this year is going to be a decisional one for you. After graduation, you’ll go to Korea University and study international business. Don’t deceive me » he announced, making you gulp at the end of his sentence.

Of course it wasn’t what you wanted. But what did you want in the first place ? You didn’t know. You couldn’t find any perspectives for yourself. And of course, you didn’t have a word to say.

« Yes Father… »

And without adding any words, he stood up and left for his office, leaving you alone in the living room. You wanted to cry, to yell how unfair it was for letting someone decide for yourself. You throat was dry and your fists were trembling from madness until you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder. It was Sookja, your nanny and the housekeeper. She probably heard the whole conversation, and was knowing perfectly how you felt at this moment.

« This is so unfair… » you mumbled into your breath, trying to hold back your tears of pure rage.

« I know sweetie… » the old woman sighed. « Maybe he will let you do what you want later » she tried to soften your mood, but it was already ruined.

You sighed and stood up, just shrugging to join your bedroom again, head dipping first into your pillow. You didn’t feel like unpacking, so you just stayed in your bed, until your nanny came to inform you dinner was ready. As usual, you were eating alone. Your father never ate with you, because of his schedules. How funny it was to see that even on your birthday he would be absent, justifying himself to be busy but that he would « make it up for the next year ». Weariness eventually took over sadness. This was your daily life, and you didn’t expect it to change now…Unless.

It was your first day at your new high school. You were so nervous that you had barely eaten on the morning. You were apprehending people. Of course you were used to see new faces all the time, but this time was different. You were arriving in the middle of the first semester in a school where everyone from your prom was knowing each other’s, and to crowned everything, your father was accompanying you this morning to greet his friend, the principal for this year. The more the black Audi was entering the school yard, the more you wanted to become a mouse. You hated so much those looks of curiosity, or full of judgment. Your father intimated you to get off the car, which you did, looking at the floor while the Principal was waiting at the main entrance. You didn’t hear the following conversation, your heart beating too fast and in your ear. Some students stopped to watch the scene, and some of them at the windows were taking pictures. How embarrassing. Little did you know a group of boys were also watching from the first floor.

« Heh, is this the new girl everyone’s talking about ? » hummed a blonde boy, his chin in the palm of his hand while he was leaning on the window sill.

« Seems like it » answered a tall boy, a lollipop in his mouth. « Dude, she looks hot »

« Mingi, you even haven’t seen her face yet » groaned the little blonde again.

Mingi shrugged and said. « Hongjoong, she’s rich, so she’s hot »

« You’re an idiot » sighed the said Hongjoong, rolling his eyes in exasperation. « What d'you think Yunho ? »

Yunho stayed silent during the whole conversation, hands in his pockets as he was watching the scenery before scoffing. « She’s just a little rich bitch » he mumbled before turning from this, going to his classroom.

You had to stay at the professor’s room, so that the Principal could introduce you to your homeroom teacher. Strangely enough, all the teachers seemed too nice. Of course they were. The shadow of your father must be planning around. « Let’s go introducing you to your new comrade » said your teacher enthusiastically which made you forced a smile. You silently followed him to the door where he made a sign for you to wait. Your heart was about to explode, as you could hear the sounds for chairs and people chatting in the classroom. You didn’t know how much you waited in this hallway, but your teacher appeared again, calling your name. You jumped a little, not expecting this time to come…so quickly. Gulping again, you slowly passed the door to present you in front of everyone, your eyes scanning the room. « Can you please introduce you ? » Asked your teacher, everyone’s waiting to hear the sound of your voice for the first time. You really wanted to run away and never come back, but you couldn’t. Your father would definitely kill you.

« H-hi, my name is Y/N, nice to meet you » you said, quite unsure of yourself.

Some kids applauded, which made you blush from embarrassment.

« Alright, Y/N you can go sit next to Yunho there » said your teacher, pointing at the front row at the very left of the room, not to say the corner.

Your eyes landed for the first time on the boy called Yunho. His black wavy hair were hiding his forehead and also his eyes, but you could definitely feel he was glaring at you. Not staring, but glaring as if you did something wrong. But what could you have done wrong ? Was sitting next to him a crime ? You awkwardly sat down next to him, feeling the cold tension radiating from the silent boy next to you. At some point, you really felt uncomfortable, to the point you didn’t dare looking at him a single time. You tried your best to focus on the class, nervously holding your pen. Surprisingly, the first two hours of class went by fast, but you still haven’t talked with Yunho, and he seemed not trying to neither. When the bell ranged, announcing the first break of the day, you gathered your things before you heard his deep voice for the first time.

« Move. » he ordered in an annoyed tone, his tall figure dominating your frail one.

Your heart stopped beating for a second, suddenly scared. He seemed mad at you for God knew which reason, but you quickly moved to let him pass, looking at your feet while you could hear a « Tsch… » from him.

What the hell was happening ? Why this boy was hating you from the start ? You took your phone and went to the girls toilet, to regain composure, but still, you felt a dark aura from him. While you were thinking about this, you heard girls gossiping outside the cabinet you were occupying.

« Did you see that ? She is next to Yunho ! »

« The poor girl, I bet she won’t stay next to him for a long time » said another girl, in a mocking way.

« She doesn’t know he’s a total douchebag tho. »

« Hey ! He’s still hot. But yeah, a douchebag »

And they laughed before exiting the place. What does this mean ? You began to get really worried about this Yunho. He seemed to be a bad guy, but was he really ? You inhaled deeply again before going back to your classroom, expecting to see Yunho again, but he wasn’t here anymore.

Class started again, and you couldn’t help but wonder where Yunho went and why he left. Your new Korean literature teacher didn’t seem surprised when doing roll call. « Ditching classes again huh ? » he mumbled before going on.

At lunch time, you searched for a place to eat alone. You didn’t feel like going to the cafeteria or stayed in class to eat, so you went to the rooftop, surprisingly empty. You expected to see at least one or two people…But anyway, it was better for you. Leaning against the wall of the staircase, you took out the lunch box Sookja made for you with your favorite food inside as a good luck charm for your first day. It slightly made you smile and brought you some comfort. You didn’t want to think to anything, just having some peace until you heard loud laughs from the stairs, making you panicking and quickly packed your lunch to see a group of boys who seemed as surprised as you to find you here.

« Oh, isn’t the « New girl » ? » smirked the small blonde guy.

You quickly looked away, mumbling a « sorry » before trying to pass over them, but an arm blocked your route.

« Hey, you could at least say hi when someone’s talking to you » groaned the tallest from the pack.

You felt intimidated. You just wanted to leave, without creating any problems. You looked up at the tall guy, scared about what he was about to do next until you noticed wavy black hair. Yunho was here also, and he didn’t seem to pay attention.

« I-I’m sorry, I just want to go p-please » you said weakly, the panic gaining your body each second passing by.

« Tss, is that how rich bitch like you are behaving huh ? »

This was escalating quickly. You were too scared to do anything, when you saw the tall guy’s hand reaching out for you too rapidly, making you flinch.

« Mingi. Stop. »

It was Yunho’s voice. As you shut your eyes tight, you slowly opened them to see an annoyed Mingi, rubbing his nape in frustration while the blonde guy was shocked. Yunho looked at his friends.

« Hongjoong, let’s go somewhere else » he added to the blonde guy.

Hongjoong nodded and slighlty pushed Mingi away to the stairs, only Yunho staying still, his dark orbs fixed on you in silence.

« Hey, I really hate people like you, but I didn’t want Mingi to do something bad, so you better go now. » he warned, giving you a cold shiver in your back.

Why was this always like this ? No matter where you go, people always hate you, or fake to be friendly to you because of your status. You felt tears filling your eyes, but you with the few pride left in you, you left Yunho alone on this rooftop, running away from him until next class. You were certain of a thing, Yunho hated you and you're far to know he'd soon take advantage of you.

chapter 2 coming soon ! please let me know what you think about this first chapter <3

taglist: @palegardenrebel @mirror-juliet @twancingyunhoe @yeosangmystar @dreamer95 @tinyteenieateez @yunsangoveryonder @tenebrisirae

Couldn’t tag : @nz-pichbg (comment to be added in the taglist)

[colormeyondublue]

Chapter 12: Cards With The Boys (NSFW)

Chapter 11 Here

After confessing his love for you, you decide it was about time to move in with the Captain. It didn’t take long to get your things together because you don’t have much. After getting settled in the Captain’s quarters, you felt your heart soar at how for you two have come.

Later, you sit at your desk in your office tying up some loose ends, day dreaming of Yondu, and of going back to Earth. There isn’t much work to be done, but the peacefulness of your office brings you a sense of normalcy that you dearly missed. While you made sure your data drives were totally backed up and in working order, your door opens quietly. You glance behind you to see Yondu’s handsome face. You turn back to your computer and tell him you’ll be done in just a second.

“Do ya really gotta be working right now? Ya work all the damn time. There ain’t even much that needs done right now anyway! The crew’s gonna be on leave fer a few weeks while we’re gone.”

“I work because I like to!” You protest. “Besides, I’m almost done. Hold your horses.”

“Ya still never explained ta me what a horse even is ya know.” Yondu huffs as he sits down on the couch in your office.

You sigh and shake your head. You never imagined you’d have to explain to an adult what a horse was, but here you are. You eject the data drive and throw it in the drawer of your desk. “A horse, is a large mammalian quadruped with both binocular and monocular vision. They can weigh anywhere between 800 to 1,800 – sometimes 2,000 pounds! They’ve been used by my people as a source of food, labor, transportation and companionship for thousands of years. They’ve helped Terrans in every aspect of life, and nothing that we’ve accomplished to this point could have been done without their help. They’ve fought in our wars, and carried entire countries on their backs at times. In modern times they are primarily pets, used to work livestock, or ridden in competition.”

The captain rubs his chin for a moment. “What’s a pound?”

You stare at him blankly for a good few moments before it dawns on you. You are going to have to explain a lot to Yondu when you get to Earth. There is so much that he still doesn’t know about.

“A pound is just a unit of measurement. It’s used in some countries to quantify how much something weighs. It’s directly related to Earth’s gravitational pull. You know as well as I do that something on Krylor wouldn’t weigh the same as it would on Xandar, right?

“Yeah, I know that. But pounds is just what ya’ll call it?” He asks.

“Well…in some places. In others they might measure weight a little differently. But that’s a whole other conversation for another time. How about I just show you a horse when we get to Earth?” You chuckle.

“Sounds like a plan ta me. But anyway, what I came down here for was ta ask ya if ya wanted to play cards with me and the boys?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s already getting kind of late, and I don’t know how to play.”

Yondu stands up from where he’s sitting and approaches you. He steps behind you and gently gathers your hair to one side of your neck. He bends down to place light, seductive kisses up and down your neck before murmuring in your ear, “Come on baby, I ain’t seen ya all day. It’ll just be a few hands, and I wanna show you off to my men for a while. Show ‘em what’s mine.” He continues to kiss you along the length of your neck, and he begins to pull your sleeve down your shoulder to taste a little bit more of your skin. You can’t stop your breaths from coming in deeper and slower. Yondu never fails to make you melt in his hands.

“Alright, alright. You talked me into it. But that mouth of yours just isn’t fair. You cheated and you know it!”

Yondu laughs and gives you a smug grin as he points to himself, “Uhh, Ravager? Not to mention, I’m a Ravager Captain. I see somethin’ I want, and I take it. Including you.” He tugs you closer by your waist and kisses you hard and heavy.

You pull away after a few moments and ask, “Okay, so do you want to get some or go play cards? I’m not sure that we have time for both.”

He growls in annoyance at your point. “Damn. Ya might be right. Let’s go.”

~~~

You both sit down at the poker table in the ship’s bar with Yondu, Kraglin, Oblo, Tullk, and Geff. These guys have honestly become your closest friends, and you were happy to have a drink with them and learn to play card games. You were learning a Xandarian game that is similar to Black Jack, except there’s more suits and the cards are octogons. It’s a little confusing at first, but you catch on pretty quick. A few hands in, Tullk asks you if you’re excited to see Terra again.

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see the trees and breathe in the air. I miss our sunsets and forests. I miss the songs the birds sing. I miss the smell of the rain. But I think I miss our blue skies even more.” You smile softly and glance over at Yondu. He smiles back and offers you a quick wink as he takes a swig of his beer. He pulls you closer to him with one firm tug on your seat, and throws his arm over the back of your chair.

“Sounds like a neat place to me!” Geff chimes in as he looks over his hand.

“Got any idea of what your plan might be? What are you gonna do first?” Oblo asks.

“Well…I guess I’ll try to find my mom first. I think she would still live in the same place. I can’t imagine she would move. It’s only been a few years. Then once I find her, I’ll get in touch with my sister. But when it comes to introducing them to Yondu – well, I think I’m gonna have to explain a few things first. Ease them into it. Ya know? I know a place where Yondu can lay low until everything is calmed down. Being kidnapped by an alien race and then shipped out all over the galaxy isn’t going to be easy to explain.” You rub your temple lightly. It didn’t occur to you just how much of a shock your return might be.

“So Tullk, have you ever thought about going back?” You ask, hoping it’s an innocent enough question.

“Nah, not me lass. There isn’t anythin’ left fer me on our planet. I’m happy here with the crew. Mah life back on Terra was a little rough. Got in with some men who were less than savory. Joined Yondu’s crew an’ never looked back.”

The rest of the game you listen to Kraglin and Oblo’s banter back and forth, and wonder to yourself what kind of people Tullk got involved with. You figure that some things are better left unsaid, and as long and he’s happy here, that’s enough for you. Once the game is over, Kraglin gets the cards together and everyone heads in for the night. As you’re walking toward the door, Yondu grabs your hand.

“Hey honey, me ‘n Krags are gonna go over a few things around the ship fer when you and I leave tomorrow. I’ll meet you back at ma quarters?”

“Sure thing, but don’t be too long.” You stand on your tip toes to kiss him on the cheek, and head toward the Captain’s quarters.

~~~

You’re playing your list of songs on your personal playlist while you pack for the trip. You find out that there are thousands of songs you hadn’t listened to yet. You had no idea at first, but these data devices Kraglin uses have seemingly endless storage. You were getting a little buzzed, having gotten into Yondu’s whiskey stash at his minibar. A little celebration was in order since you were going back to Earth with Yondu. You were dancing hazily to Fantasy by Mariah Carey. Yondu walks back toward his cabin door, hears some muffled song and smirks to himself. As quietly as possible, he opens the door to find you dancing drunkenly to the music. He enters the room and you don’t even notice his presence as you continue to dance and sing. He creeps into the room and sits down in his recliner, interested in just watching you.

As much of a goofy drunk as you are, he smiles to himself. You might just be the best thing that ever happened to me, girl.  

The song changes over to Love On The Brain by Rhianna. Although your playlist has a ton of different songs, music was something that always resonated with you, and you liked almost anything. With the lyrics of the song carrying you away, you feel large, warm hands on your hips as you sway to the music. Immediately knowing who is feeling you up, you lean into his body and he begins to sway with you. He brings his lips to your neck and kisses you slowly. His lips kiss and part from your neck over and over, and it makes your core ache as warmth spreads through your limbs. Letting go, you fall into him even more, surrendering yourself to him. His hands begin to wander over your body, feeling your hips and thighs. You let out a few breathy moans, and your knees grow weak. While still facing away from him, you bring up your arms and wrap them around his neck as he teases your ear with his tongue. He notices that his bottle of Krylorian Whiskey is almost half empty, and you are way past buzzed at this point.

Baby you got me like ah, woo, ah Don't you stop loving me (loving me) Don't quit loving me (loving me) Just start loving me (loving me)

Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire Just to get close to you Can we burn something, babe? And I run for miles just to get a taste Must be love on the brain That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way) It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good And I can't get enough Must be love on the brain yeah And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name) No matter what I do, I'm no good without you And I can't get enough Must be love on the brain

The beat carries you both to his bed and he continues his loving assault on your torso and neck. At this point, the room is spinning a little, and the next thing you see is a gorgeous blue chest, and your captains’ pants slowly being undone. You are more than frisky, and the second his pants come undone, you dive into him. He doesn’t have a chance to argue, as his cock is already making its way into your mouth. He groans in response, and finds a fistful of your hair. The alcohol in your veins gives you some kind of super power and your skills with his manhood are already blowing his mind. He peers down at you with his head tilted to the side, groaning at the sensation you’re giving him. All of that whiskey has made your gag reflex vanish, and you can take him deep into your throat. He watches intently as his cock disappears into your mouth and he moans loudly. You continue to blow him out of his mind for a while longer, polishing the head every now and again. You hear him speak up, “Baby girl, I’m gonna cum if ya don’t stop.”

You look up him momentarily, roll your eyes with pleasure and moan on his cock. You’ve got him exactly where you want him. In a few more minutes, he spits out a string of curses at the intensity of his orgasm. “Oh, fuckin’ hell – yes! Shit….mmmhmm.” He pushes his raging hard cock as deep into your mouth as you can stand, and cums down your throat. You slowly slide his cock out of your mouth, and sensually lick the tip clean.

“It’s even better than I expected.” You smirk up at him. His cum tastes wildly different than a human’s. It isn’t bitter at all. It’s still slightly salty, but it’s also a little sweet and nutty. The taste was completely unexpected, and you almost couldn’t believe it. You tease his sensitive cock with your tongue to make it jump. “Oh, fuck. Ya might be more than I can handle when you drink like that.” He huffs out a laugh and collapses on the bed. “Alright, yer turn sugar.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to make you feel good. I want to show you how much you mean to me. I don’t need anything. This was more than enough for me.” You kiss him lovingly, and snuggle into his side.

“I love you y/n. Ya really are an amazin’ woman. A damn whiskey bandit, but amazin’.”

~~~

The next morning, Yondu is still in bed with you. He wakes you up slightly by wrapping his strong arms around you and he pulls you as close as he can. You never thought in a million years that Yondu would be a cuddler, but in the privacy of his cabin he usually turned into a huge teddy bear.

“Good morning, handsome.” You mumble.

“Mornin’, sugar. Guess what?” He asks.

“What?”

“Today’s the day.” He says as he gently rubs your legs.

You push up on your arms quickly and look around the room. Today’s the day?! Oh my gosh, today’s the day!” You jump out of bed and start to get undressed.

“Woah, wait a minute! Where you goin’? We’ve got all day, slow down girl. Come ‘ere.” He beckons you back to him before you can get your t-shirt and sweats all the way off. You smile and crawl back into bed with your captain. “I wanna spend a little more time with ma woman before we head out. It’s gonna be a long flight, and who knows how long we might hafta be apart while you get your family stuff sorted out.” He pulls you close, and you happily snuggle into his warm embrace. Yondu is the warmest, and most incredible big spoon ever. His warmth is amazing, his body is so firm and strong. His hands engulf your torso almost completely. Absentmindedly, you rub your hands along his arms as he holds you.

“I love you.” These are the only words you can come up with, and yet they barely capture your feelings for him.

“I love you too, honey.” He takes in a deep breath and sighs. Yondu is trying his best to keep his worries at bay. He’s going to take up as much time as he can with you, which is why he wants to be so cuddly. It’s almost as if he’s afraid that you could vanish from his embrace. Today was not going to be an easy one for him. The uncertainty is maddening.

[kumkaniudaku]

Understanding

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17

Recommended Listening: Understanding x Xscape, Purple Emoji (ft. J. Cole) x Ty Dolla $ign, My World x Asian

Word Count: 2,137 

If you were going to win an award that afternoon, it’d be for attire, not confidence. Your expertly crafted golf outfit was the only thing willing your feet forward once you parked your car in front of Senior’s golf course.

Black women and men dressed like modern Jet magazine ads waltzed in and out of the clubhouse while you scanned the area for your party. You’d been to your fair share of golf courses, but none as exquisite as The National. Marble accents complemented modern brass finishes and unbeatable views of the city. The desire to take photos for your father was almost too much to shake, but you managed to play it cool. Acting out of place was surely some type of faux pas for the wealthy.

Across the way, Senior sat at the bar sipping a glass of water while thumbing through a newspaper. His furrowed brow was identical to Yahya’s whenever he was knee-deep in work or a good book. The mental comparison made you smile before ushering in a tinge of sadness. For two people so undeniably similar, they were miles apart physically and mentally.

You navigated through groups of young and old alike on the way to the bar.

“You made it on time,” Senior spoke without looking up from a story on education budget cuts.

“I made it with time to spare.”

“You don’t get praise for doing what’s right.”

“Think of how much better things would be if we did.”

Senior paused his reading to take a deep breath and shake his head. You mentally berated yourself for overstepping so soon. Not even five minutes into the outing and you had already committed an avoidable infraction

Yahya I prolonged the unbearable silence as he continued to read through another article, reading each line painstakingly slow while you watched in agony.

“I apologize. That was unnecessary.”

“I’ll ask you again,” he spoke, finally looking away from the newspaper to study your face. “Let’s leave the character right here. We’re here for a purpose, so grab your clubs and follow me to the first hole. I hope your game is as good as you are at running your mouth.” Taking his retort in stride, you quickly grabbed your set of clubs and followed with no objections. “After you.”

Senior found himself immediately impressed though he wouldn’t verbalize his feelings. He watched you breeze through each hole with near expert precision, opening a series of questions at hole 5 during casual small talk.

“Where’d you say you were from again?”

“A tiny town in South Carolina that you probably wouldn’t know.”

“Try me,” he answered while taking stock of his position on the fairway.

“Anderson, South Carolina. Home of Larry Nance and the great Chadwick Boseman.”

“Can’t forget James Kennedy, Young Lady.”

You cocked your head back in surprise. “What you know about Radio? I mean outside of what the movie says?”

Senior remained quiet long enough to take a hard swing. The loud “whiff” of his driver slicing through crisp, clean air didn’t match the stroke’s output. Both of you watch the golf ball sail high into the air before making a landing well short of the intended destination. Senior shook his head at the miscalculation before turning to answer your question.

“Black folks from all over are connected, even without all that Snapgram and Facebook foolishness.”

“I could argue it’s helped, right? How else would you be able to share your granddaughter’s first steps with the whole family?”

“In photo albums. You might not remember those, but they did us just fine.”

“Yeah, but it’s instantaneous conversation and information. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“Maybe instantaneous conversation is the problem. We aren’t making enough time to stop and really think about what we’re saying to each other.”

“Mm.” You let the conversation naturally taper before following Senior to his golf cart. The rolling hills provided enough scenery to keep you interested while you sorted the words in your head.

“I think we may have started off on the wrong foot.” You spoke once the cart came to a full stop. Senior trailed behind in silence, gathering a new club while watching you examine the other golfers in the area.

“You’re rather observant.”

You chuckled and plucked a club from your bag. “I’ve been told. Yahya calls me Eagle Eye when I catch something he’s already talked about ten minutes ago.”

“It’s what his Big Mama used to call his Pop-Pop for the same thing. That man was notoriously late to the punchline.” The nostalgia in Yahya I’s voice caught you off guard though he didn’t see your minor fumble. Something in his retelling appealed to your sense of compassion in a way that you considered long gone when it came to him.

“Let’s not beat around the bush. You have an issue with my presence that we should discuss. Because I can assure you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Bold,” Senior responded with a sarcastic laugh. He gestured to nothing in particular as you squared up to take a swing and nodded. “And direct. Continue.”

You took a moment to hit a line drive toward the green in the distance, using the movement as an outlet for the unexpected nerves churning your stomach. Both of you quietly watch the golf ball for its final resting place before you turned to speak.

“You are extremely hard to please, and it is literally ruining your family. Yahya does everything in his power, and, excuse my French, you don’t seem to give a fuck. Why is that?”

“What makes you think that my love isn’t what makes me push him to be the best that he can? It may not be the fluff and frills you’re used to in your home, but it’s what he needs to get him to his potential.”

“Did it help you?”

Senior mistakenly allowed a quick moment of confusion to take over his features. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You tell me. When’s the last time you enjoyed a laugh with your family or felt like you could just...be? You’re carrying a weight that is crushing the people around you, and you don’t even see it.”

“You don’t…” Senior caught his words and bottled them behind his lips. He took a deep breath as he approached his golf ball and took a half-hearted swing. Noticing his misstep, he shook his head. “I’m from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. My father, Yahya’s Pop-Pop, moved my mother and me to a shotgun shack to find work when things weren’t quite shaking out back home. He was in and out of trouble and such. Couldn’t get right, but he had a natural knack for building and design.”

A nearby group of golfers erupted into laughter, helping to break up some tension.

“So architecture’s been in the family for a while,” you asked. Yahya I curled the corner of his lips into a far-off smile.

“A long, long time. It got us out of that shack when my siblings came along and into a house with our own rooms and a backyard. But, my father was a hard man. Hard to please, you know,” he laughed, making a reference to your earlier words. “He wanted the best from me, and he made damn sure he got it. I needed that to get my head out of the clouds.”

“You also needed some reassurance.”

“Perhaps. But, what’s done is done. I look at what I’ve built with no complaints, especially when it comes to my boys. I couldn’t be more proud of the men they’ve become.”

Senior’s proud smile almost looked foreign on his face. You’d never seen more than an indifferent expression or the slight twinge of anger smoldering behind his eyes.

Leaning on your club, you kept your eyes forward to gaze out over the course.

“Yahya would love to hear that. I don’t know if you know this, but he is desperately searching for your approval. There is not enough praise from me or anyone else that could replace knowing that you’re proud of him. Yet, as much as he would like to tell you these things himself, he’s afraid that you’ll think less of him for being vulnerable.”

“I could never think less of the boy. Tough love is still love.”

“Maybe for you,” you added, shrugging. “But, what good is continuing this cycle if it’s hurting the children you claim to love and the grandchildren after them?”

Senior dropped his head in thought before looking up with an unreadable expression. “Deuce will be fine. He’s all the best parts of his mother. I...I’m confident he’ll figure out fatherhood on his own despite my shortcomings. We raised him well.”

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping -”

“That has never stopped you before, young lady.” His light-hearted chuckle invited you to follow suit.

“Fair point,” you laughed. “So, let me cut to the chase. Allowing Yahya to just ‘figure things out’ is a passive existence. Yahya says you’re constantly reminding him to take things into his own hands. Sounds like you should take your own advice. Be the parts of your father that you needed at 33.”

Instead of acknowledging your advice, Senior twirled his club in his hand on the way to the golf cart. He maintained an impenetrable poker face that even the most skilled readers couldn’t interpret. You silently hoped that at least some of your words had made it through his thick skull, but you chose to let the discussion meet a natural end.

As he started the cart, Senior turned to you and smiled. “How the hell you learn to swing like that? I know it wasn’t in Anderson.”

“Hey, we play a little golf here and there!”

“Where? Out in the woods?”

“No, out in the Bayou like you did.”

A small smirk crept across your face as Yahya I chuckled at your joke. He sounded identical to Yahya, full of mirth and beautiful melodies.

“The ole Bayou,” he repeated in a thick accent. “You ain’t seen a place more beautiful in your life.”

“Maybe Yahya and I could visit one day.”

He quickly looked over and shrugged. “Maybe. For now, you focus on defending this lead. I think I’m getting back into my rhythm.”

Senior couldn’t make a convincing comeback, but he did show glimpses of a softer, more personable disposition. He cracked jokes on occasion and asked questions that turned the conversation from a therapy session to banter between associates. Your mind traveled to the possibility of civil family dinners or vacations during the ride home. Though it seemed silly to create imaginary scenarios after one conversation, you couldn’t help the urge to see a better future.

Your happiness helped you float into your shared apartment, making Yahya smile when he caught a glimpse of your wide grin and short skirt.

“Damn, girl,” he hollered from the couch with Leche cradled in his arms. “If Tiger was out there cheeked up like that, I might’ve paid a little more attention to the golf network.”

“Oh, really?”

Your raised eyebrow made Yahya kiss his teeth once he caught on to the joke. “You know what I meant. Where you been anyway?”

“Oh, I was just out doing a little golfing...with your dad.”

“Right. That was today, huh?”

Even Yahya’s best attempt at feigning interest, his question came out in a flat drone typically used on annoying coworkers. You dropped your purse and keys against a nearby barstool on the way to his spot on the couch.

“It was today. I think we had a good time,” you answered as you slid your arms around his neck from behind, placing a gentle kiss behind his ear. “He didn’t yell at me.”

“You must’ve kissed his ass the entire time.”

“No. We talked about how great I am at golf. I mean, I kicked his ass.”

“Good on you, baby girl. Bring honor to our house.” In a surprise maneuver, Yahya pulled you over the couch and into the space beside him. “Is that all?”

Silence blanketed the room, allowing the college basketball game in the background to have center stage. You considered your options carefully, weighing the pros of a potential argument against a peaceful Saturday indoors. Yahya turned his attention back to the television as he waited for a response.

“Did you hear me, baby? He didn’t say anything rude to you, did he?”

“No!” You blurted. Taking a deep breath, you slowly slid the remote off the coffee table and pressed the power button. Yahya blinked twice at his reflection on the black television screen before turning to you for answers. Your fingers danced across his thighs to interlock with his long digits.

“I think...I think we need to have a real talk about your dad.”

----

A/N: I hope this is better late than never. Only two more chapters left! Really striving to have those to y’all by the end of the month.

Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged!

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[rosesareviolentlyread]

Bakery Box Boy: Bath Time

CW: mentions of punishment, physical harm, scars, modern slavery, memory alteration, self-blame, people talking negatively about the character, internalized hatred, I’m really bad at these I’m working on it, anxiety WC: 1316

IT CONTINUES I swear one of you asked me to tag you but I forgot who. Thanks again to @moose-teeth and @whumpywhumper for beta-reading. And we also located the post that inspire this!! so thanks @whumping-every-day for that wonderful answer!!

The warm water swirls around his - Jasper’s - hands as he moves them through the water, feeling the gentle push and pull. It’s steamy, a fog of vanilla and sweet wood that clings to him like the cold had. He worries it’ll ruin the beautiful wallpaper, the one covered in yellow flowers with dark green stems that look like they’re growing all over the wall. He doesn’t want to ruin the wallpaper. 

He doesn’t want to ruin things, not again.

But, nothing about this seems to be going right. The memory of coming out of the box still feels...foggy, like the air around him, a confusion that clings to his chest with the fear that he has done something wrong, with knowing he’s been bad. 847650 - Jasper his brain continues to correct - isn’t good. He can’t remember why, or how, but he knows. Not that he wasn’t good enough here, those blunders are still fresh. No, it’s a deeper certainty, that the core of who 847650 is, is mistake.

He knows because the things in his mind that he can grasp, they are only pain, and fear, and people yelling. Because he can see the thin tracery of lines that cover his arms, his legs. Because he can feel the way his bones crack when he stands. Because of the way skin pulls uncomfortably across his back that makes him scared to look. 

But his new owner, they’d….touched him. Not the way they did in the white rooms, in the places he wishes would fog over more. It had been gentle. Warm. Hands that rubbed circles into the frozen joints, wrapped them in blankets far too soft for something as torn and broken as him. She knew, he was sure, because the one thing he could clearly remember, was her face when he’d first opened his eyes. 

Horror. 

He is a terror, a horror, a thing made to be kept in a basement. That’s what the handlers have told him this time or the time before or sometime that blends into a forever of white rooms only punctuated with the pain of knowing he is bad in the way a belt or a cane or a whip or a hand hits him until he is beat beet-red.

Useless, can’t believe it’s back again.

What’d it do this time? Can’t believe they keep sending it out. Guess money is money.

How much longer you think it’ll last?

Who knows? This thing’s like a bad luck boomerang, can’t get rid of it

And 847650 knows they are right, in his bones. That nothing good happens around him. To him. It’s written on his skin, in the box he came in, in the way her face had looked. 

So, why had she touched him like that? Why is she letting him sit here, in this nice bath, that is using far too much warm water on him? Why does she only have nice soaps for him to use, ones that smell like sugar and sweetness and all the things he can barely remember beyond them being far too nice?

It feels so wrong, and he wants it to stop. He wants the shoe to drop, to kick his ribs, to crush his hand. 

Doesn’t he?

He isn’t made for flowered walls, for warm fireplaces and hand-knit blankets that smell musty and cozy with years of use worn into their threads, not threadbare but instead comfortable, secure in their place. 

He wants to be like that, to know where he belongs, to belong, but he is bad. Bad luck. And he knows there is no way he belonged somewhere like here, can’t, not for long. 

A knock on the door jumps him out of his thoughts, water almost sloshing onto the soft bathmat. 

One drop away from disaster.

“Sugar? I found some clothes for you. I think they might fit, you’re about the right size. I’ll just leave ‘em here on the edge of the counter. You just come on out when you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen.” He sees a hand slip a pile of fabric onto the edge of the counter before the door shuts again.

When he’s ready? 

A test. It must be. To see how quickly he can recover, get himself ready to learn. 

Even though the water soothes the ache in his limbs, he forces himself to pull the drain open, watching his solace slink down the drain. Grabbing the towel that is far too fluffy, he stands carefully in the tub, drying off before stepping out so to be sure to not slick the tile with water. 

The pile of clothes have the same slightly musty, stored smell of the blankets. He doesn’t mind it, feeling the soft, pliable fabric in his hands. It’s not stiff, like clothes he feels in the edges of his mind he’s worn before, that felt too wrong on his body, too perfect in every angle and shape. But they’re not full of holes that make his skin shiver with the memory of cold far worse than that of the box. It’s clothing that’s been lived in, been given a home, for longer than he can imagine.

He pulls on the white shirt, feeling it hang loose on his shoulders as he puts the thick flannel over top. The jeans, while thin, hang loose on his hips, until he has to tighten the belt to the second to last hand-worn notch just so they’ll stay up. But it’s all so warm and soft over his skin. The socks are luxurious, thick wool that helps him cling to the feeling of toes. Of being here, even as the fog in his brain still makes it hard to think, to remember. 

When you’re ready her voice echoes in his brain, and suddenly, he’s quickly folding the towel back onto its rack, and scrambling to the kitchen. He isn’t sure how long he stood there, fingers just trailing over the fabric on his skin, but he knows intimately it was too long. 

Jasper nearly slams into the wall as the sudden slick of socks on his feet causes him to slide down the hall, limbs flailing like a newborn fawn. He manages to recover, grabbing the doorway as his heart thumps in his ears in fear. 

Please, please let me to have been quick enough to be good

“Oh, there you are. I was starting to think you’d fallen asleep in there, was about to go check to see if you’d drowned.” His owner’s face is smiling, and she winks, but he can’t understand why. Clearly, he’d taken too long. Maybe she’s happy because it means she now has a reason to punish him, to start teaching him a lesson. Maybe because it proves that he isn’t good, just like she thought when she saw him. He ducks his head, feeling his shoulders stiffen and hoping maybe this punishment will at least be a bit lighter, since his bones still ache from the cold, muscles straining just to stay upright.

“I-I’m sorry I took so long Miss Della.” For no reason, dammit, he feels tears prick his eyes, and he forces them away. 

Crying ain’t gonna do you no good, little boy, the voice in his head taunts with the crackle of electricity in its anger.

“No worries, I like myself a good soak too. I’m sure after getting soaked in the cold it felt nice to do an ole switcheroo hmm? Why don’t we go sit by the fire, warm you up a bit more, and I’ll go over the ground rules and what not” Her face breaks out into a smile as she crosses to the living room, picking up a dark iron rod to stoke the fire.

Jasper reminds himself to follow, even as a spot on his hip screams about how red hot pokers feel on skin. 

[kny-secret-santa2019]

From: @3rdgymbros​

For: @knybits​

message: hi, lovely, merry christmas! i was watching mulan and this was the result - i really hope you like this oneshot! i’ve been a big fan of your blog, and i love the creativity and effort that you put into writing scenarios! thank you for all your hard work!

— pairing; tanjirou kamado x reader ( modern au )

— prompt; want to help me get my parents off my ass about not having a date?

The matter of you finding a date for the annual family Christmas party begins to obsess your Grandmother. She won’t let the matter rest until your Grandfather and Father both take up the refrain; and once the men of the household are of her own mind, Grandmother immediately goes through the list of prestigious family connections. One such date includes the eldest son of an abalone cannery millionaire. A prospective date is suggested and your protests dismissed entirely.

“Only one date. If you like him, you can have another,” Your Grandmother says, with an impatient wave of her blood-coloured nails, the scent of Schiaparelli and mothballs wafting about her.

It’s unbearable. You lock yourself in your room and refuse to come out, anger and fear drumming through your body. You throw yourself onto the bed and listen as your Grandmother beats her small fists against the door.

“Do you want to be an old maid?” She screams.

“Yes!” You howl in return. Outside you hear whispering, and you know that your mother is there.

It’s unbearable. You’re only in High School and already your life is being squeezed into a box, all those rules and expectations laid out for you, and you’re expected to play along like the good daughter that you are. No one cares that you’ve been acing all your classes, that you’ve been nursing a secret hope that you might win a scholarship and go to England and study law when you graduate.

At last you’re left alone, and you hear the tiny shuffling steps of your Grandmother, supported by your Mother, fading away down the corridor. After a while, you get up, and, opening the window shutters wide, observe the slender branches of the Mexican lilac pushing up beneath the sill, wondering if it will hold your weight.

It’s not easy to reach the tree without falling from the window, but at last you grasp a strong branch and you swing yourself forwards, your sneaker-clad feet scrabbling for a hold against the trunk. Almost at once, you hear a loud crack, and falls with the branch the short distance to the ground. Your knee is scraped and you feel your shoulder throb with the beginnings of a bruise, but nothing more, and scrambling up, you run off through the main gate of the family estate.

An hour later, with nowhere else to go, you find yourself in the Kamado family bakery, pouring out your sorrows to a sympathetic Tanjirou, who nods in response at your story, as your tone rises to a high, fevered crescendo, and how your face wrinkles in distress at the impossible situation that your family has forced you into.

You pause for breath, and look around the Kamado family bakery. Nezuko, a baguette in her mouth, mans the cashier and counts out change for a waiting customer. Bells of all sizes, from tiny jingle to massive cow, chimes out entrances from hooks on the back of the door. The combination of scents envelops you: vanilla and cinnamon and warm chocolates with hints of lemon and cherry. As you sip on your frothy latte, you inhale the pockets of aromas, each one a comforting embrace of all that is good in this upside-down world.

Tanjirou slides a cream éclair over to you; you moan at the sight of the chocolate-covered confection, a specialty of the bakery, and your favorite dessert. “It’s on the house,” He says, smiling warmly, and a twinge sadly. “I wish I could do more to help.”

You seep deeper into your chair, letting his words roll over you. Tanjirou’s always been a good friend of yours, helpful and eager to please, and when he smiles, oh, when he smiles, it’s almost as if the sun itself is unfurling its rays and bringing light to your dreary existence. You have to battle back a blush, along with the realization that this little crush on your classmate isn’t going away anytime soon.

A plan slowly begins to form in your mind. You almost feel guilty for what you’re about to propose, and you promise yourself that you’ll buy all your bread from The Kamado Family Bakery for as long as you live.

“You can.” Propping your chin up with the flat of your palm, you motion Tanjirou closer. “So. Want to help me get my parents off my ass about not having a date?”

Tanjirou smiles, his face wrinkling into the lines of one used to joy and gentleness. In your chest, your traitorous heart thumps all the harder, a shoe knocking about noisily in the dryer. You swallow. Hard.

“Sure! What do you have in mind?”

This is the first thing that you think: that this whole situation seems like something right out one of Zenitsu’s trashy romance novels. This is the second thing that you think, somewhat in a daze, with cheeks painted red: Tanjirou cleans up well.

You make a beeline for Tanjirou as he hovers by the door, a paper bag clutched uncertainly in his hands, even as an uncharacteristically timid smile graces his lips; but as your attention is currently being occupied by your Grand-Aunt, who has forgotten your name for the third time in a row, and it’s your Mother and Father who, as one, both move intercept him, cutting through the crowd to greet him. Though, you suppose, it’s better your parents than your Grandmother, who is bound to be watching the boy you’ve brought home with an eagle-eye from her place of honor at the head of the table.

“You must be Tanjirou,” Father says, his face impassive as always, giving nothing away. “( Your Name ) has told us about you.”

“I-It’s very nice to meet you!” Tanjirou says in response, a little too loudly, and his cheeks color pink as everyone in the room turns to look, sizing him up from the top of his hair, plastered to his brows with very strong hair gel, all the way down to his neatly polished shoes. He bows, stiffly and formally. “This is for you!”

“You brought bread?” Your mother asks, taking a peek into the proffered bag. She inhales the yeasty goodness and her eyes light up. “Everyone here loves the bread your family bakes! Come, let me introduce you to the family.”

The tension drains out of Tanjirou’s frame, his expression morphing into one of pride. Mother takes him by the hand and circles the room, making introductions. Every set of eyes smile at him. Father nods discreetly at you before stepping into the kitchen, and you heave a silent sigh of relief. You catch Tanjirou’s eye as he moves about the room, and you smile and nod encouragingly, trying to push calm energy at him.

Step one, passed.

Step two is getting through dinner.

Although you already know how extensive your family is, every year you still find yourself marveling at the sheer amount of people currently occupying the family dining room. The glow of fairy lights adoring the walls gives the large dining room unworldly appeal. The sound of laughter, chatter and greetings competes with the Christmas music playing from the speakers.

Everyone sits down to eat almost immediately. The table is an impressive expanse of solid burl wood, topped with glass. Each place setting bears a napkin starched white, silverware, and a stiff card embossed with individual names. Blessedly, your seat is next to Tanjirou, and directly beside your Grandmother, whose beady eyes always seem to linger on the boy at your side. Her wrinkled lips are pursed into a thin line, and she only nods as Tanjirou introduces himself once again.

You’ll never be able to please her, you think bitterly, staring down at your silverware and your rainbow-hued cup, filled to the brim with sparkling juice. Still, you do feel a tad guilty that it’s because of your hare-brained scheme that Tanjirou is currently in this mess, and so, under the table, you brush your hand against his own. You hope that Tanjirou feels you in that moment, a mix of gratitude and apology wrapped in that one touch.

The moment is fleeting, but the warmth of his smile grounds you and wrings the air out of your lungs all at once. You close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation, how the butterflies in your stomach seem to flutter to life at this one simple touch.

Juicy, garlicky meatloaf, creamy scalloped potatoes, blanched greens with slivered almonds, French bread, and salads full of bright colours and textures are placed on the table and passed around family style. The conversation is pleasant but not heady. The star would definitely be Tanjirou, who gracefully answers every question thrown at him; though you do end up stepping in as soon as you catch his face twitching as he forces out a lie – good, honest Tanjirou, you think, would make a terrible poker player.

How did you and ( Your Name ) meet?

We’re classmates. She invited me for dinner.

How old are you?

I’m 16.

Doesn’t your family own a bakery downtown?

Yes, the Kamado Bakery!

The bread there is so good, my daughter stops there every day after school.

Thank you for your support, my dad would be really happy to know that you like his bread so much!

As the conversation tapers into a lull, your mother stands, slips into the kitchen and brings out dessert on a silver tray. There are slices of fruit cake, mince pies, and a chestnut log cake donated by the Kamado Bakery.

You spear a fork into your second slice of log cake, tasting thick, velvety chocolate coating your tongue. You let out a long hum of satisfaction. Various faces around the table are also glazed over with satisfaction, as they refill their plates.

Your Mother turns to Tanjirou then, with a smile and friendly eyes. There’s no doubt in your mind that she fully approves of Tanjirou. “Why don’t you come back again tomorrow with your family? Stay for dinner?”

Until, finally, your Grandmother speaks up, for the first time in the evening. Her voice is completely serious. “Would you like to stay forever?”

You choke on your next spoonful of cake.

[eevee-winters]

The Gentleman

Victor x Reader

1900 words

After the events of LFG Christmas party, you awake up to find yourself in unfamiliar surroundings. What happened last night?  Who’s bed is this? Where are MY clothes? 

This is what happens after my story  A Christmas Invitation so I suggest reading that before this if you have not all ready.

Warning: NSFW (barely), FOOD PORN, heavy petting

“uhhhhh” you groan while stretching out your body after a long peaceful sleep. You are cradled by the purest form of comfort.  Eyes still closed, you run your palms across the silky feel of the most exquisite sheets you have ever caressed.

Opening your eyes, they flutter as they slowly adjust to the sun light gleaming through partly folded curtains of an unfamiliar room.

“Where am I?? you grab you head. “What happened last night” you grumble. Your head pounds as you sit up to take in your surroundings. You are in a large stark white bedroom, there is a large black marble fireplace searing across from the bed, no wonder the room was nice a toasty as opposed to the frozen tundra out the window. The bed was large with a beautiful dark obsidian headboard, the king sized mattress was wrapped in thin silver silk sheets, the epitome of luxury, they felt like something you could only imagine would be found on the beds of modern day kings and queens, and the mattress caressed and molded to your body as if sleeping on supple clouds.The room was immaculate, the color pallet was black, white & grey , and everything was prim & in its proper position. Although something on the night stand caught your eye. Hiding behind the lamp was a cute orange shiba ina doll.

 Is this Victors house? Am I in Victors bed? Did we …….? your thought was spinning out of control. You sprang up, the sheets fall off your body and you realize that you are not in your costume from last night, you were in a cute tabby cat pajama top with no bottoms. 

The last thing you could remember from that party was Victor showing you that view. Everything else was fuzzy. maybe I shouldn’t have had that third drink you thought looking around frantically for some pants.

*knock knock knock* You jump to attention with the sound at the bedroom door. 

“_____ it is 10 a.m. don’t you think it is time to get up” said the coarse voice behind the door.

Still in a panic you open a different door in the room to find a large master bathroom, on the floor you find the bottoms to match the pajama shirt you are wearing. Desperately you put on the pants right as the door opens. In walks Victor, he was in black stripped pajamas, his hair was still a bit wet from being fresh out of the shower.

“If you don’t get up now your breakfast will get cold” he asserted. Victor was holding a tray, he sat it down on the side table, walked over to the covers and genitally pulled them back, but the girl was not there. He turned to look at the bathroom door to find a crimson faces girl peaking at him through the door way.

“Are you hiding in there?”

“I…… I’m not hiding”

“You have a dumb look on your face, it suits you well” Victor teased “ Come your breakfast is getting cold. Victor watched as the girl came out of the bathroom, climbed up into the bed and proceeded to hide under the covers.

“Victor is this your bed?” you muttered, terrified to look him in the eye.

“Idiot, who else’s bed could it be?” he rolled his eyes

“Did you….. I mean did we….. uh?” you mutter apprehensively 

Victor stares at you with intense sorrowful eyes. “Are you saying you don’t remember, could it have been that forgettable? I know it was my first time but I thought I did a good job. I assumed it was your first time too, wasn’t it.”

You started to feel yourself lose consciousness. You have dreamed of what your first time with a man would be like. You wanted it to be special for there to be butterflies,teddy bears, ginkgo leaves, or roses SOMETHING. Not some drunken night with your boss after a office party. The look on Victors face was so somber, a proud man like him would be heart broken if you told him he was terrible in bed, even if it was his first time. HOLY SHIT IT WAS VICTOR FIRST TIME at this point you had to say something to make him feel better.

“Oh yeah of course I remember. You know my brain can be slow to start up in the morning, you’ve seen me in early meetings. It was really wonderful”, you lie as chill bumps emerge up and down your spine. I” think we both did great for our first time.” At this point your face is officially a tomato.

Victor’s face goes from melancholy to his iconic poker face. “Yes it was my first time, my first time bringing home an idiot that drank to much, passed out and puked all over her clothes. I told you to slow down, you know you can’t handle your liquor.”

You are still smiling awkwardly at Victor up until his words begin to register in your mind. RIP your soul leaves your body Your body recoils from him in embarrassment, pulling the covers over yourself determined to hide from him forever. “I thought we had sex but this is so much worst” word spills from your mouth before your brain has time to fully process them, “OMG” you pop from under the cover “not that sleeping with you would have been bad I just thought that is what hap…..” Victor places a finger over your mouth, then chuckled “Dummy, I know what you meant, it is alright I am just glad you are feeling better. You were pretty sick after the party now come eat so you can get your strength back.” 

He places the tray in front of you, then uncovers the steaming hot breakfast. There is a white cheddar & spinach egg white scramble, turkey bacon as well as some avocado toast, strawberry jam with freshly squeezed orange juice.

It all smelled so wonderful, completely forgetting all of your recent transgressions you start to dig in. Just as you imagined it was spectacular. UwU

After breakfast Victor gives you some alone time so that you can wash up. In the bathroom there is even a new pink tooth brush for you to use. Once you are done cleaning yourself up on the bed a new light blue blouse and a pair to dark brown jeans are on the bed for you to wear. The clothes were your styles and a perfect fit. Is there anything Victor is not good at? 

You walk down the stairs to see Victor sitting on a chase lounge reading his morning paper. 

“Thank you so much for the clothes, how did you know my sizes?”

“I sized you up years ago” Victor responded without even looking up from his article.

“So what else do you remember from last night?” Victor’s outer appearance was his usual deadpan expression, but on the inside his mask was cracking. The girl had seem receptive before, but was it only because she was intoxicated. For the first time in a while Victor begun to second guess his decision to be upfront with his heart. 

“The night is coming to me in pieces, I remember you leading me to the elevator, taking me to your office showing me that view, then you……”  The Kiss Your face turns bright pink as the kiss with Victor last night crosses your mind.

“Anything else?” Victor encourages. His brow arches in reaction to the sudden change in color to your face.

“Uh no….. nope nothing…. nothing else.” Your voice goes up two octaves, and slight beads of sweat begin forming on your brow.

Victor places down his paper. His eyes gleam with a seductive look as he get up an slowly saunters close to you.  Unlike his usual poker face,  is expression was bewitching. The closer he move toward you the further back you stepped, taking one final step you tumbled over onto the steps. 

Victor laughed “Are you afraid of me? I am not going to bite you dummy.” He kneels down in front of you “Now let me help you remember the events from last night.”

Victor leans over gently places his hand behind your neck, his deep gaze into your irises arose  a warm tingly feeling in your stomach. Then in one smooth motion his soft lips caressed your mouth, the taste of mocha on his tongue converges with the sweet mint on your own. Pulling you in close, firmly pressing his chest against yours. Your heart was beating in your throat, the heat from Victors body was cause your body to sweat. The goose bumps from his touch were to much to handle, and you began to shiver.

“Victor please stop, we…… we can’t……”

Victor quickly pulled away. “I’m sorry, I guess it was the alcohol last night. I would  never want to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.” His facial expression became so somber, Victor thought that his worst fears had become a reality. 

“Oh no what I mean is…..” avoiding direct contact with Victor eyes, you began fidgeting with the buttons on your sleeves “ I have never done anything like this before, I just don’t want to do it here on the stairs.”

Victor looked at the girl whom he had loved for so long, the innocents on her face was so pure. He stood up, bent down and cradled her in his arms, and began walking up the steps.

“Victor, haha what are you doing? Put me down I am not a baby.” you giggled nervously. He pushed the bedroom door open with his right foot, softly laid you down on the bed, removed his shirt, ran his finger through your hair & “You are my baby?” NOSEBLEED

Who is this guy? Could this be the same stern CEO that I have know all this time? He straddled you placing his left hand behind your head & his right was in laced in your fingers.  His kisses became more wistful, his tongue playing in and out of your mouth. Your body was on fire, this was the first time a man had been on top of you this way, everything was foreign to you.

The hotter your body got you couldn’t help but want Victors hands to touch more of you. Feeling this weight on you your body began to just go with the flow. You wrapped your arms around him stroking the smooth firm muscles on his back. Your body start writhing around in anticipation of what he would do next. 

Victor proceeded to kiss your face then, slowly moving down to your neck, when his tongue nipped the fleshly are near your collar bone you let out a shameful moan. Victor was a very attentive lover and quickly doubled down on that spot, licking, nibbling and sucking on your new discover “spot”. Instinctively your fingers clawed there way into his back leaving etches of pleasure in there wake. Your legs began to part as if inviting their new found admirer inside.

“Seem like a certain someone is getting excited, I like your enthusiasm, but I have been waiting along time to just kiss you like this. I am a gentleman I don’t need everything all at once. We can save the rest for another time.”

FIN  

To Be Continued  

[mermaidmafia-official]

{ PART I: THE BLOODMOTHER }

written by: @bebemoon​

outfit ref: for the party .

tag list: @ayzrules @interluxetumbra @vampirkaninchen & @blubbingbeautifully​

The Bloodmother of Bilitis House was preoccupied with the floors.

As evening was settling in and the house was beginning to stir and creep with her sisters and daughters, she discovered that the petals still needed to be strewn in the foyer, over the newly-refurbished wood flooring, and there was nary a helpful cherub in sight.

The Bloodmother- called "Ysabelle" familiarly- stood on the bottom step of the wide foyer stairs pondering the naked floors. The house held the aroma of blood almost romantically, and the rose petals were necessary to somewhat hide it from the historical society mortals who would be arriving soon- along with (and utterly unbeknownst to them) some...prominent underworld figures.

Ysabelle clutched the banister with one hand, her bony hip with the other. A disaster was inevitable, but she still wanted those roses strewn.

"Vavassour." A velvety voice from above.

Ysabelle tipped her face up to see a ghostly figure in a curtain of inky hair leaning on the staircase banister overhead- someone spying with a scarlet eye.

"Zhang," Ysa said in lieu of a fitting evening greeting, and dropped her gaze once again to the foyer. "Have you seen either of the cherubs? Tonight of all nights, they decide to shirk duties when I gave them the strictest order to-"

She paused her tirade, feeling something light touch the top of her head.

Looking up, she could see Zhang was now holding a fistful of rose petals, as if her palm was slit and bleeding. "Chatham passed his rose chore off to me," she said languidly, and dropped a few more petals from her hand directly onto Ysabelle's dark head. She rested the side of her lovely, clear face against her free hand. "He said he did not have the time."

Ysabelle swiped the petals from her hair and turned to head back up the steps, trailing loose hair and billows of dark blue velvet robes and sleeves. "Did he say what was so pressing that he could not obey his mistress?" she asked.

The most Chatham would ever get from Ysabelle was sucked teeth or perhaps a drawn-out sigh if he was being particularly vexing. He, like his brother, was too childlike in mien, as most cherubs were, for Ysa to ever muster any sort of genuine dislike towards him.

Yinmei Zhang listlessly lifted herself from the banister as Ysabelle approached. A basket of rose petals sat on the landing at her feet.

"I did ask," said Zhang, "but he told me I ought to mind my own business." She then gestured at the basket as if there was nothing for it. “It’s really not a bother. They smell lovely.”

Ysabelle reached out to lightly flick her old friend's bare collarbone- a ridge of ice beneath pristine snow. "You shouldn't allow him to boss you," Ysa said as she began to move away. "After all, frail and aged as you are, you're hardly suited to labour- your bones could turn to dust at any moment. Do let one of the younger girls handle it."

"Yes, why not have your new little friend do it?" said Zhang, her tone less playful than Ysabelle's had been. She turned her head just enough to sharply eye the other woman. "It seems the least she could do after keeping the entire house up all day long."

Ysa paused, and after a beat, turned back to Yinmei. She wanted to ask...but thought better of it.

They weren't usually at odds. However, since Amaelia had come into the house, there had been the occasional bite to Zhang's retorts. Her feelings were not unshared by others in the Coven, but she was the only one who ever dared to openly second-guess Ysabelle's actions. Yinmei's disapproval was already well-noted, and Ysabelle was resolute in her decision to take Amaelia into the Coven.

And so, the two old friends were at an impasse, making their usual shared preoccupations...strained.

Ysabelle stood for a moment, wondering. Then, finally: "I hate to think Lia is disturbing your peace, my dear. I will see what I can do."

With that, the Bloodmother turned back into the corridor, leaving Yinmei to her rose petal chore.

-

[AN INTERLUDE WITH A CHERUB]

Ysabelle did not have to wonder where Chatham had gone for much longer than it took her to return to her room.

She stepped into the private parlour, golden-lit by firelight, to find him planted on a tasseled foot pillow on the floor, looking very like a horrific dog show contestant with his small gargoylish figure, gnarled digits, and fleshy little wings. Not to mention the rancid rat he was enjoying. Ysabelle understood immediately that the cherub must've hidden it from his brother, forgotten where he stowed it for a few days, and only just remembered it-

Hence the shirking of his rose petal chore.

"Here you are," said Ysabelle, closing the black bedroom door behind her. She pointed at the cherub seated and merrily devouring his foul treat. "What do you mean giving your chore to Grandmother Zhang? Her bones are older than yours and mine."

Chatham swallowed and adopted the expression of a distressed demonic toddler. "Mistress," he complained, clutching the half-eaten rat to his chest. "Well, I hate the Granny, and you know I do. Besides. Besides, I found my rat and I was hungry, and I hate chores like I hate Granny."

Ysabelle hummed. "I should've punished you more when you first came to me," she remarked. "You'd behave better. What have you against Yinmei?"

The cherub bounced his goblin feet, thinking. "She said I'm rotten. And I think she's ugly," he replied, pulling a face. "The ugliest woman I've ever, ever seen, I think."

"She's right, though," said Ysabelle, folding her arms. "You are unforgivably rotten. You and your brother. In any other house you'd be beaten with a fire poker for being a layabout."

Chatham appeared scandalised. "Mistress!" he wailed.

Ysabelle waved the creature off. He went into hysterics at any criticism, no matter how small or harmless- and since positively no one in the house found him the least bit pleasant, he was hysterical most of the time.

"Be silent, Chatham," Ysa chided, turning away. She flicked aside the heavy drape dividing her private parlour from the bedroom. "Amaelia still sleeps."  

-

[OVERHEARD AT THE HOUSE WARMING]

"A truly skilled Blood-Weaver can portal through a living being."

"I don't follow."

"It's just as I said. Crack a chest, step in, and come through another warm body-"

"In...spirit?"

"No, in flesh."

"Sounds messy."

"Oh, it's ghastly."

-

It was much later, well into the house-warming, before Ysabelle laid eyes Yinmei again.

They were supposed to be posturing as wives for the benefit of the mortals from the Halacre Historical Society. A Vampire undetected is well-fed, after all- and the very last thing she wanted was to alarm the entire town. These days, people employed the Wolves to take care of their Vampire problems-

They couldn't be too careful, as far as Ysabelle was concerned.

Yinmei was being interrogated in the drawing room by the Historical Society's head- a squat woman clutching a black bag beneath her tweedy arm. She was quite out-of-place among the other attendees. Yinmei rather looked like a tall, benevolent alien in contrast with the woman.  

"Ah, there you are!" said Zhang over the little woman's head. She had spotted Ysabelle passing through the foyer. Zhang raised her dark brows pointedly, an S.O.S., and beckoned delicately with her fingers for Ysa to come join her.

Ysa slipped her free hand into the pocket of her tailored trousers and stepped across the drawing room threshold, thumping her walking cane on the refurbished wood floors as she went.

"Dear," Zhang began with false cheer, "this Paulette Maminot, the head of the Halacre Historical Society." She introduced the small, be-wigged woman before her. She continued, "Paulette, this is my wife Ysabelle."

Paulette offered her hand to Ysa, palm down, like a duchess. "How do you do?" she said sourly. Her face somehow became even more lined while regarding the women together. "You two are married, then? My, my. How modern."

Only the mannerless insulted their host right away- she didn't even wait until the end of the night. Ysabelle leaned on her cane and grinned. "Oh, yes," she said, "for several, blissful years now. Have you met the children? They should be-"

"Actually, we were hoping for a tour of the house," the old woman interposed. "My father used to own this property- it's been in my family for ages. I was disappointed to know that my brother sold it. I see you've...taken the liberty of changing a few things. Thank goodness you kept the original flooring."

"Oh, what a shame," Zhang said, her tone light but her posture rigid. "The floors are the last thing to be dealt with. We just cannot agree on what to cover that old wood with. I say grey cork or perhaps vinyl."

"But I just adore shag carpet," Ysa put in. "It speaks of luxury."

Zhang lifted a shoulder covered in white lace. "You are right about that."

Maminot's face crumpled with displeasure and her colourless lips became a thin line. Eventually, she cleared her throat of bile and readjusted her pocketbook under her arm. "Well," she sighed, the notion of Bilitis House covered in shag having cost her both mental and spiritual strength, "burn it down for all I care. Shall I gather the others for the tour?"

Ysabelle held her free hand out, indicating the foyer filled with milling guests in black with leering eyes. A pulse, a warm perfume, would never go unnoticed in that crowd. One only hoped the other elders had not been lured away somewhere.

Maminot stalked out of the drawing room without another word, but /not without giving her disapproving gaze to Egon Schiele's "Two women embracing" as she went.

"Paper, scissors, stone," Ysabelle said once the old woman had gone. "The loser plays tour-guide."

Zhang pulled a face but nonetheless held her right fist out.

-

An hour past midnight, the house was filled with the voices of the damned and fiddle-cry from the dimly-lit ballroom- sounding like a shadowy thing hidden in fog, just out of view.

Zhang was still leading her tour (having lost the best two out of three) while Ysa continued holding court in the drawing room, but Maminot's griping was still audible to the ears of the undead.

(She did not care for the overly-ornate moulding in the corridors, nor was she happy with the "funerary" black doors. Even more incensing was the fact that Zhang was barring her from entering most of the rooms. The fact was, it was for her own good. Poppy ["The Devourer"] was locked in her rooms to avoid staining the walls red. Amaelia, in the throes of fledgling bloodlust, was under lock and key for the same reason. What the little fool didn't know was that some of those black doors kept a nasty end at bay.)

"I think I would have eaten her by now," ["A Collar of Spikes"] commented. She was leaning against the drawing room wall in head-to-toe black leather with a chalice of Rosenblut in one hand. Her dark eyes were rolled upwards, listening to the conversation taking place two stories above them.

Angelika ["ЛЕДЯНАЯ ЖЕНЩИНА"], seated on the arm of the dark velvet sofa, took a sip of her own chalice and came away catching her bottom lip in her bloody teeth. (Ysa wondered if Rosenblut gave her memories of her life as a human- or if it was only human blood that caused the flashbacks?) "Truthfully," she said in her small, tinkling-bell voice, "I don't like the black doors either. Makes me think of...decay, rot. Nasty things."

"You're drinking animal blood, 'Lika," ["A Collar of Spikes"] reminded her on a smirk. "You are a nasty thing. What difference does it make, anyway, what colour the damn doors are? We should all be out flying, driving- not stuck here with these stodgy, old elites and mortals."

[”A Collar of Spikes”] was at her best when leaned over a dimly-lit pool table, pool-stick against her ribcage. 

Ysa slowly released the tension in her spine and let herself sit back in her chair, expelling the ineffable pressure of the evening. Lately, she had been experiencing small spells of fatigue that she couldn’t recall ever feeling before. It felt like being wrung out, pain included. And she suddenly wanted to be alone.  

She dismissed [ACoS] with a flick of her hand. “I release you, dear. Go enjoy the night- someone ought to.” 

[ACoS] didn’t tary. She drew away from the wall, put her chalice down and righted her black leather jacket. “Thank you, Mother, dear,” she said, and about-faced to the window, which she threw open and promptly jumped out of- taking wing on the night air. Gone. 

Only a moment later, the sounds of discord resounded through the house, coming from upstairs. At once, Ysabelle drew to her feet.

- 

[THE SCENE]

Zhang was shouting over someone else’s distraught shrieking. And the smell was unmistakable, luring throngs of party-goers to pack the stairs- 

When Ysabelle arrived on the steps leading to the third storey corridor, it was as horrific as the over-powering smell led her to believe it would be. 

“I tried to stop her, Ysabelle!” Zhang was frantically saying over the screaming. Her cheeks were speckled red- like gory, little freckles. “It happened so quickly!” 

Her arms were full of a red-headed girl with thrilled eyes bright as pomegranate jewels. Her emerald velvet dress was soaked in dark fluid from neck to belly. The white lace collar was turned crimson. A pair of matching coral hair combs hung loosely in her hair, having come loose in all the tumult. 

Poppy. She was screaming and raking at Zhang’s pretty white gown, catching at the lace and tearing the beads away. Her fangs were extended to needles and there was hardly a speck of pale skin to be seen- it was slick with blood. 

And it wasn’t one or two or even three, but all of the Halacre Historical Society strewn in the corridor. Poppy still had a hold of Maminot’s wrist, clutched in a death grip. 

Ysabelle wanted to know how this had come about. She had put Poppy away in her rooms, knowing something like this would happen if she was permitted to roam. Ysa had even struck the door with a Blood-Bind to keep her safely within- not even another Blood-Weaver could have undone the Bind.

The scene was confusing, but Ysa didn’t have time to ask questions or feel her bones brim with dread-

They would have to hide this. 

She and Angelika flew to Zhang’s side, helping her wrest the girl back into her rooms for the time being.

Ysabelle slit her palm, left to right, using her thumb nail and raised her hand to the black door as Poppy threw herself against the wood on the other side, jolting it. Ysa struck the wood at the same time and felt a heavy energy, like thick chains snaking about her arms and into the very wood of the door, locking it fast against the girl within. Instantly, the violent banging from inside ceased. 

Finally, the corridor fell silent...save the murmuring crowd of on-lookers packing the staircase. 

Ysa felt weak, light. She went to her knees at Poppy’s door and placed her forehead in her hands. Something wasn’t right.

“Mother?” Angelika said softly.

“Send for Chatham and Weep-not,” Ysabelle sighed as she lifted her face. “Have them clean this up.” 

“And the bodies?” Zhang inquired. 

Ysa rose to her feet slowly and pressed her healed hand over her stomach. “Burn them.” 

[dxsole]

TAGGED BY: @prcsxcvtings​ // thankies~! B)) TAGGING: @genrcsavvy​, @wiltpetals​, @vxrixble​, and anyone else who wants to do it~!!

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

NAME -  Hugo Marquardt EYE COLOUR -  Hazel HAIR STYLE / COLOUR -  Chestnut, almost an ash color at times, kept very short with a small quiff.  HEIGHT -  5′11′’. CLOTHING STYLE - Rather fashionable, or really modern and minimal. He sticks with neutrals, the few colors he indulges in being navy blues, hunter greens, and mustard yellow. For work, he’s always in a button-up and slacks, for professionalism, but at home, it’s usually jeans, gray loungers, and sweaters..he loves a good sweater. BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE - Hugo likes his laugh lines. The way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles or the dimples that appear when he laughs. He thinks it makes him look less intimidating...although not much actually makes him laugh in the first place.

LAYER TWO : THE INSIDE

FEARS -  He wouldn’t say he fears a lot, more like he’s concerned about a number of things; how some days his PTSD acts up a lot and he can’t seem to function well. The idea of accidentally running into his mother. The idea of being forced to go back into war for whatever reason. The idea that he ever has to fight again.  GUILTY PLEASURE -  Hugo is extremely goal-oriented and a very hard-working man...but sometimes, on his days off and when he has nothing more to do...he likes being lazy. It’s very self-indulgent to just sit in PJs, watching TV, eating chips with his feet up and giving crumbs to Traugott, just not being an active member of society for a moment.  BIGGEST PET PEEVE -  People who use their long lights all the time. Traffic. People who make assumptions. The neighbor cats that roam where they please and knock over his trash cans.  AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE - For one that is such a workaholic, he hasn’t thought much about this. He didn’t think he’d live to be as old as he was currently so it wasn’t a priority for him to have goals...that being said, even if he was given every opportunity imaginable, he doesn’t think he’d do much else aside just...live. He’d like to see the world. Take photos. Learn new things. He’s already trying to branch out more whenever he has vacation time, especially since it’s currently very easy for him (he has no wife or children, there’s very little he needs to worry about). 

LAYER THREE : THOUGHTS

FIRST THOUGHTS UPON WAKING UP: ...What am I doing today-- WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MOST:  What is the music like now? I only ever get to experience the beat... WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED: Is that noise Traugott in his cage or a tree...or an intruder. WHAT YOUR BEST QUALITY IS: Determined. Persistent. Level-headed. Something along those lines...

LAYER FOUR : WHAT’S BETTER ?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES -  Single TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED - Respected BEAUTY OR BRAINS - Brains DOGS OR CATS -  ...Rats

LAYER FIVE : DO YOU…

LIE - Not often. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - Sometimes. BELIEVE IN LOVE -  Yes. WANT SOMEONE -  Perhaps.

LAYER SIX : EVER BEEN …

BEEN ON STAGE: No, and he hopes he never gets that opportunity. DONE DRUGS: No, he’s never really been offered any or had the desire. CHANGED WHO YOU WERE TO FIT IN: He never thought it would work even if he could change.

LAYER SEVEN : FAVORITES

FAVOURITE COLOR - Tan FAVOURITE ANIMAL - Rats FAVOURITE MOVIE - Leon: The Professional FAVOURITE GAME - Poker. He has the best face for it.

LAYER EIGHT : AGE

DAY YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE - Saturday. HOW OLD WILL YOU BE -  35 AGE YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY - 27 DOES AGE MATTER -  Yes.

LAYER NINE : IN A PERSON

BEST PERSONALITY - Someone who can accept him as he is, someone who can appreciate the simpler things in life, someone who is more for quiet living than an extravagant night out.  BEST EYE COLOUR - He thinks green eyes are especially pretty, but obviously it’s not a dealbreaker.  BEST HAIR COLOUR - Doesn’t particularly matter. BEST THING TO DO WITH A PARTNER - Anyone who cooks with him...just that such a tender moment and he’d love every second of it.

LAYER TEN : FINISH THE SENTENCE

I LOVE - "Traugott.” I FEEL - “Tired.” I HIDE - “...My past.” I MISS - “The friends I made when I was deployed.” I WISH - “...I knew why my life had to be the way it was.”

[georgecostanzaatemysoup]

Urban Fantasy Critical Role AU. Just the mighty nein with the same problems plus Modern problems, because they don't have enough problems. There needs to be more of this so.

So, I just wrote the beginning of the campaign. I actually dig the idea of reading a Modern AU of the campaign so far, but I’m not sure if I should be the one to write it.

Anyway, thank you for the prompt and I’m willing to write more if you want to send me more.

Nott peeks up from her phone, watching Caleb warily. She thought she saw him move, but it must have been a trick of the light. With a worried sigh, she looks back at the game she’d been playing.

He’s been asleep for a long time. She’s running out of things to do on her phone, and they lost their charger in the last town they’d been in; he needs to wake up soon before she does something stupid.

Like shoplift.

Again.

They’re going to get kicked out of this town, too, and its getting increasingly harder to hitch a ride the closer to the city they get; people seem to see a dirty man in a trench coat and a little goblin girl disguised as a halfling and think better speed up. Nott hates them.

She also doesn’t blame them.

But she still hates them.

She looks over at Caleb again, tapping her phone against her chin. A few minutes of window shopping can’t hurt. She’ll be back before he wakes up, and she’ll try extra hard not to get caught.

She’ll be fine.

***

She returns an hour later out of breath, holding a stitch in her side. There’s a crack across the screen of her phone, a casualty of her falling while trying to escape a half a dozen guards.

She’s so screwed.

She tries to wake Caleb, but he doesn’t so much as stir. Nott panics for a second, thinking he’s dead, but when she checks for a pulse it beats slow and steady against her spindly fingers. He’s alive; just out cold. She hates those fucking gnolls who attacked them.

She hates the trucker who drove right past even more.

She creeps towards the window, peeking down to see if the guards are heading towards the inn, but she doesn’t see anyone. A lone car drives by slowly, the headlights flashing across Nott’s eyes, and she lets the curtain fall back into place.

She heads back towards the bed, hopping up onto it, and curls onto her side, staring worriedly at Caleb. She hopes he wakes up. She needs him to wake up. It takes her a long time to get to sleep.

***

Jester hums softly, doodling on her iPad. She lets her gaze dart over to Beau, who is getting ready for bed. She still doesn’t know much about her, they’ve only just met, but she feels like they can be good friends.

“Are you heading anywhere special?” Jester asks curiously, chewing on her stylus.

“Nope,” Beau responds, shaking her head. She pulls her biker boots off, letting them thud to the floor. “I’m just going.”

“Going?” Jester furrows her eyebrows. “Like a road trip?”

“Exactly! Like a road trip. Like what you and that Fjord dude are doing. I go where the wind takes me and all that bullshit.” She shrugs off her leather jacket, throwing it across the room, missing the small desk against the wall. “Fuck.”

She leaves it on the floor, plopping down onto the other bed. She turns to look at Jester and asks, “Whatcha drawing?”

Jester smirks, looking down at the doodle of Beau punching the giant snake. She leans forward and whispers, “Do you want to see?”

“Well, yeah. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

Jester grins and turns the iPad so Beau can see her drawing. She whistles low, giving the screen an impressed look, and says, “That’s good. You really captured my likeliness. I especially like the small Fjord sitting on the ground and clutching his head in the background.”

Jester frowns, looking back at the drawing. She didn’t add that part, but she narrows her eyes when she hears a soft laugh in her ear. You dick, she thinks and she hears the laugh again.

She turns her iPad off, placing it on the nightstand between their beds, and lays down, turning onto her side so she and Beau are facing each other. They stare at each other for a long moment before Beau says, “You ever fight a giant snake before?”

Jester shakes her head. “You?”

Beau considers lying, but she decides against it. “Not until today. It’s cool that you took one of the fangs. Be worth a shit load if you ever plan on selling it.”

“Really?”

Beau shrugs. “Maybe.”

“I have a lot of money,” Jester tells her, her eyes darting towards her bag. She had more, but Fjord claims she has a gambling problem. She doesn’t think it’s a problem if she’s never done it before, but she still lost a lot of money.

Fjord won some of it back; he’d been so good at poker. Jester wonders where he learned; probably working at the docks. She wonders if he’ll teach her how to play properly.

“That’s probably not something you should be advertising,” Beau tells her sagely. “You know, there’s a lot of people who would rob you in a second.”

“But you won’t.” It’s not a question.

“How do you know?”

“Because we’re going to be best friends,” Jester says pointedly. “Best friends don’t steal from each other.”

“And what makes you think we’re going to be best friends?” She’s teasing Jester, it’s obvious, but the question still makes her stomach clench. She doesn’t want to think about losing her third friend ever; even if it’s for a stupid reason like going their own separate ways.

“I just know,” she whispers, turning her so her back is to Beau. “Good night, Beau.”

“Yeah,” Beau says softly, her tone hard to pinpoint. “Yeah, good night, Jester.”

***

When Nott sees the man drop a handful of bills onto their neighbors’ table her interest is peaked. She looks around, making sure nobody is listening to them, and points it out to Caleb.

“The money is on the table,” he tells her and Nott knows he’s right, but it’s still just sitting there; they could run a scam and that money would be their’s. She lists off a couple of their cons, but Caleb still refuses to go along with it.

She lets it go.

When the man leaves, she notices the blue tiefling return to her iPad while the human starts counting the money. It’s not a lot, not really, but to her and Caleb it could be another night here; possibly enough to get a couple bus tickets to Alfield. Something.

Her staring catches the half-orc’s attention and she quickly looks away. She returns to her breakfast, poking at her eggs, only to look up to see the tiefling staring at her.

Crap.

***

It’s awkward at the two tables. Molly enjoys awkward. He has an entire Instagram account dedicated to taking awkward photos. Orna once told him if he posted another bad photo of her she’d kill him. He still going to do it.

Yasha follows him to the table, looking over the small group with a distrustful eye. She’s kind and quiet and collects flowers, but unless she allowed anyone to see that side of her she just looked scary. Molly likes her just fine.

The tiefling is adorable. The half-orc is handsome. Of the two humans, Molly takes a special interest in the man. He has a pretty face hidden under all that mucks, but there’s definitely a reason he doesn’t show it. The human woman is abrasive and overly curious, but Molly is a circus performer; this is nothing new. As for the small halfling.

Is she even a halfing?

Molly doesn’t know.

He dazzles the tiefling with a card trick. Ignores the human man’s muttered, “He’s bullshitting her.” And leaves a flyer with them. It’d been a bitch to print them out; the post office giving him and Yasha suspicious looks when he asked.

He suspects she did it mostly because of Yasha’s presence than Molly’s attempts to charm her, but he’s going to pretend it was all him; Yasha would prefer it that way.

As they leave, he looks back at the strangers sitting around their two tables and smiles.

He sure hopes he sees them again.

[impracticaldemon]

Dangerous Connections [late submission for Saichifest 2019]

by impracticaldemon a modern, non-canonesque, 4200-word vignette

Rating:  M / Lemon   Read also on FFN | AO3

Author's Note: I have no idea where this story came from. Unfortunately, it nagged at me until I wrote it, which delayed other writing. Part of the inspiration came from @nospringonions fanfic for Saichifest 2019 (although that fanfic feels brighter, and has a beginning, middle, and end).  This is one of my very few non-Shinsengumi-era stories. The setting is a modern Japan AU that has a slightly? darker feel to it than Hakuouki SSL. Partial inspiration for the feel—and Saito's motorbike—go to @kurokiorya

As a final note, the entire second half of the story is more or less about sex.

Dangerous Connections

"I found you a tutor, Hajime-kun!"

Saitō eyed his friend warily. That particular grin always made him nervous.

"Tanaka-sensei said that she would find somebody appropriate, Sōji. There's no need—"

"Tanaka-sensei has already approved my suggestion." Okita's smirk became even more pronounced. "She agreed that it made sense to get somebody who knew the club, and wouldn't mind working around your weird schedule. Besides, it turns out that Chizuru-chan was already on her list of candidates."

Saitō felt himself tense. "Yukimura? Sōji—that's—I don't think that's a good idea at all."

Okita laughed. "Worried you won't be able to concentrate? On the bright side, you won't want to embarrass yourself, right? I figure you'll be speaking and writing English like a pro in no time!" He punched Saitō lightly on the arm—lightly for Sōji, at least.

"There must be other—"

"Get a grip, Saitō! Your family said you had to pass your English competency exam, or quit the team." Okita's expression darkened. "And this year we're going to win the championship, so don't you dare let them force you to quit!"

"I don't intend to!" replied Saitō with rare heat. "You shouldn't have gotten involved in this."

"Oi, what's with you? I thought you'd be pleased. I'm pretty sure you've had a thing for Chizuru-chan for ages—and didn't you mention that your dad wanted you to find a suitable girlfriend? I mean, you're twenty now, and graduating uni in a couple of years, and—"

"Stay. Out. Of. This." Saitō turned on his heel and stalked off, shoulders rigid.

Okita was so surprised that he watched him go.

"Well that was weird—what the hell did you say to him?"

"Nothing he wanted to hear, apparently." It wasn't Heisuke's fault that Saitō was behaving like he had a poker up his butt, but Okita had to suppress an instinctive desire to lash out at the younger man. He didn't handle rejection well—he knew it, but that didn't make him any happier right now.

"Anything I can do to help?" Fortunately, Heisuke was reading the room for once, and didn't demand an immediate explanation. Okita grimaced inwardly. Heisuke was a good guy, and he'd matured a lot in the last couple of years—they all had, supposedly.

"Doubt it. Not unless you're in the mood to torture Hajime-kun for personal information?"

Heisuke stared at him, then waved his hands in an emphatic denial. "First of all, torture really isn't my thing. Second, I wasn't planning to die today."

"You saying I can't take Saitō?"

"MMMMFFFF." Heisuke pantomimed locking up his lips and throwing away the key. Then he ruined it by adding, "Who knows? Not me." He grinned at Okita. "I knows nuffin' guv'nah!"

"What the hell was that? As if your English isn't bad enough to begin with."

"Better'n yours and Saitō's, I hear."

Okita grimaced, then shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me, but Saitō's dad says he either passes the next time, or he's out of the kendo club—national championship or not. The guy's a hardass, too—if he says it, he means it. But we need that championship if we're going to get funding to go international." He scowled.

"Makes me glad I'm not the heir—or even runner-up heir—to some fancy corporation, for once. My dad just wants me to take his guilt money and lead my own life."

"Yeah, yeah. There are worse things, you know?"

"So I'm told." Heisuke bit back a snide rejoinder—Souji was always grouchy when it came to families. Besides, it reminded him what he'd come to say in the first place.

"I don't know if it's related, but I have some news for you. Bad news, and I wish Shinpat had found you first, to be honest. Assuming he didn't avoid you on purpose."

Okita gestured for him to continue, though he was still staring in the direction that Saitō had… gone.

"You know that pharmaceutical company that's been in the news so much recently?"

"No." Then Okita reconsidered. "Wait—yes. Hijikata was ranting about it yesterday, I think. Kondō-san kept having to calm him down—not that there's anything new in that."

"Well, turns out they were into some seriously illegal shit, and even had some kind of stolen army biotech they were working on."

"So?"

"It was owned by Chizuru-chan's dad. In fact, her brother was the manager, at least on paper."

That got Okita's full attention.

"Well, shit."

"Anyway, nobody knows if they were set up, or who leaked the info to the cops—or the press—and so far it's hard to say who in the family knew all the details."

"There is no way Chizuru-chan knew about it, or was involved," Okita snapped.

"Yeah, we know that. But for now, the family, and everyone close to the family, is a suspect. And it gets worse."

"How?" Okita was already trying to sort out the kind of impact this could have on the club. Chizuru was close friends with all of them, and she acted as a kind of book-keeper and general secretary.

"Chizuru's dad made a substantial donation to the club, back when Chizuru started university. That's kind of why we got stuck with her in the first place, remember—not that I minded."

Okita remembered. "Fuck. FUCK!"

"Right? A club like ours—any sports club that wants to compete at the national level and beyond—can't be associated with illegal drugs. And these ones involve army tech, so..."

"Why the hell didn't Hijikata explain this to me yesterday?!" demanded Okita.

Wisely, Heisuke didn't point out that Sōji probably hadn't been listening. Sometimes things were okay between those two, other times they weren't—as in, really weren't. At times like this, he envied Hajime-kun for not living with the rest of them.

Okita glared at Heisuke for not answering his question. "Fine. Where's Chizuru-chan?"

"We don't know."

"What?! How is that even possible? She lives with us, for crying out loud!"

Heisuke took a half-step back, mentally cursing Shinpachi for setting him up to be the bearer of ill tidings. Sōji tended to hit first, ask questions later—well, not so much now, but still. Normally, they sent Sano-san to do stuff like this, but Sano was out of town for the week.

"We think she's either been taken away by her dad, or kidnapped by those Kazama thugs." Heisuke had to lean in to whisper the words, and Okita took the opportunity to grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

"Then what the hell are we doing just talking about it?! Why are we here at school instead of out looking for her?"

"I'm not gonna talk if you keep doing that!"

"Fine. Screw English class, I'm out of here. And I'm really pissed at Hajime-kun for not telling me all this earlier—he must have known."

"Our job is to go to school. Keep up appearances."

"Thank you for that, Hijikata-mommy-san. Sure, I'll do that." Without another word, Okita spun away from Heisuke, and ran for the main entrance.

Heisuke hesitated, then flung up his hands with a groan and sprinted off after him. Nobody was going to be happy when Sōji encountered the ladies and gentlemen of the press. And it wasn't Heisuke's fault that they'd trailed him here after Hijikata-san had slammed the house door in their faces.

Saitō's bike was expensive, but not showy, and it was a lot less noisy than most. That being said, he hadn't taken quite as much care as usual when he'd taken off from school after running into Sōji. Fortunately, he couldn't sense anyone watching as he methodically stowed the bike, and hurried through the parking lot door of his non-descript apartment building. On the face of it, he was just another young guy who'd probably forgotten something he needed for work or school. He'd done a good job of being anonymous here for two years; there was no reason to mess that up now.

He'd originally hoped to throw people off the scent by showing up for class as usual, but he just wasn't calm enough to pull it off. No matter how hard he tried, he still lacked the detachment and control of his father and grandfather—as they often pointed out. And ugh. Sōji had meant it for the best, but Saitō had hoped to avoid anything that might link him to Chizuru except as a member of the club's championship kendo team. The Kazama had top notch intelligence gatherers.

He made himself take the elevator up to his floor—which wasn't the penthouse, since that was just too obvious for the scion of a wealthy corporate empire. At least he wasn't the heir, thank all the gods. He unlocked the door to his apartment, and then carefully locked and bolted it behind him once inside.

"Hajime-san?"

And there she was, waiting for him. His heart-beat picked up at the thought.

"Chizuru…" It was still a delight to use her unadorned first name, and to hear his own name on her lips. He knew he was blushing, but he couldn't seem to help it, or to suppress the inappropriate—very warm—images that caused at least part of the blush.

Without warning—except that he was trained to read an opponent's slightest movement—Chizuru threw her arms around him, and buried her head against his shoulder. He tried not to react to her sudden proximity, but his hormones had other ideas. She was obviously frightened, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to gently lift her face to his, and kiss her. Not that they hadn't kissed before, but it was still so new to him—to them both—that he was immediately swept up in it, and didn't notice the passage of time until he realized that he had her pressed tightly against the hallway wall, one hand in her hair, and the other stroking the soft skin of her back under her blouse.

When he tried to draw away, Chizuru clung to him, her lips nuzzling his neck. He could tell that she was embarrassed, but also determined to keep him close. If only he were better at rational thought when they were together like this! Then he could comfort her properly, while still being aware of his surroundings, and considering what to do next.

"Chizuru, we need to plan." She couldn't stay hidden with him indefinitely—though part of him wished she would—but the alternatives weren't clear. "I think it's going to get more difficult after today…" Not so much because of Sōji blatantly throwing them together, but because the press was out there now, and hungry for details. The Kazama family wouldn't miss the opportunity to seize Chizuru if they could find her, and he suspected that Kōdō was finally scared enough to accept the Yukimura-Kazama merger, and hand her over to them to seal the bargain.

Saito made another effort to put some distance between them, but thinking about Chizuru engaged to Kazama Chikage made him want to do anything other than let go. In fact, he wanted very much to forget about everything other than finding out how best to please his beloved—if still secret—girlfriend. His mouth dipped down to the tip of her closest ear, and he began to trace the outer edge with his tongue, which elicited an intoxicating, shivery kind of gasp from Chizuru. He felt his pelvic muscles contract in response, and blood rush down to harden him into full arousal. Without another thought, he pressed a hard kiss—almost a bite—into the side of Chizuru's neck, making sure that his teeth would leave marks.

"Hajime…" Chizuru's voice was a little rougher than usual, and her breathing had quickened. He tightened his hand in her hair, and forced her head up to look at him, so that he could admire the scarlet that now bloomed high on her cheeks, and the way her eyes seemed to glow as she warmed into passion. When he brought his mouth to hers, abandoning her ear and neck, and biting gently on her lower lip, she made another half-muffled sound of pleasure, but louder and more distinct this time. He found himself trapping her even more tightly between his body and the wall, and grinding himself against her, while his tongue parted her willing lips and began to explore her mouth, eventually so deeply that it felt like a flagrant expression of what he wanted to do with the rest of her body.

As if in response to that thought, he felt Chizuru's hands tug the tail of his shirt free of his jeans, so that she could caress his bare skin in the same way that he was touching hers. His father wouldn't be very impressed at how easily distracted he was, he knew, but something rebelled in him at the thought. His friends and colleagues pushed him to be more open; his father and grandfather demanded perfect stoicism. Only Chizuru let him be entirely himself—she didn't mind his silences, she trusted him to listen when she wanted to talk, and she never seemed troubled by his awkwardness. He was utterly in love with her.

Still kissing, they undressed each other, fumbling at buttons, and even occasionally snarling at layers that wouldn't cooperate with their need to be skin-to-skin. Saitō retained enough sanity to lift Chizuru into his arms and carry her to his small bedroom, which was surely a more private and appropriate place to communicate such desires. Not until he laid her down on his bed—hair loose, clothing wildly askew, love-bite darkening on her neck—did he fully process what they were doing, and freeze, appalled by how far he'd let things go. He immediately sat back, still straddling her hips, and forced his greedy hands away from her skin.

To his surprise, Chizuru smiled up at him, and reached out to run her own hand down across the muscles of his stomach to rest lightly on the tight bulge still constrained by his lower fly and boxer-briefs. The button to his jeans was already undone, although it had taken her some minutes to achieve this, earlier. He still wasn't sure whether the button had actually been difficult, or if she'd just been distracted by his lips on her skin, and on the thin material of her lacy bra. Her nipples had hardened intriguingly under the ministrations of his stroking, pinching fingers, and then tongue and teeth.

He stared down at her now, breathless and dry-mouthed with desire, blood pounding in his ears, but desperate not to injure her in any way. Her thumb rubbed gently, but attentively, at the head of his erection, and he flinched inwardly at the combination of the exciting, pleasurable sensation, and the vulnerable, loving, determined expression on her lovely face. It might feel wonderful, but it wasn't right—not when there was fear and sadness lurking behind her passion.

"Chizuru," he whispered, barely able to resist leaning forward into her touch, while forcing himself to keep his hands curled on his thighs, rather than caressing her breasts, or busy with the pale blue panties that lay visible below her loose, rumpled skirt.

"I want this, Hajime. You love me, you believe in me, and I want you to be the first, since I don't know what the future has in store for either of us."

"We'll stay together no matter what, I promise, if that's what you want. But don't—Chizuru, those are the wrong reasons—you must know that!" He hoped that his voice betrayed neither the effort it cost to be rational, nor his hurt at her lack of confidence. In him, in them, he wasn't sure which.

He read stubbornness—and true longing—in her eyes, and the set of her lips. She wasn't going to back down, not when she believed in what she was saying.

"Your father won't want an alliance with a disgraced family, we both know that. And the Kazama want me so that I can produce an heir to both families, Kazama and Yukimura, now that their victory is certain. A marriage, an heir—that will bring everyone into line, and keep our noble blood pure." The last word was low and bitter. "Are you going to subject your family, and your friends, and all their dreams, to the inevitable retaliation? They—the Kazama—can be brutal, you know."

"My family can look after itself," he told her forcefully, trying and failing to ignore her insistent caresses. He shifted a little, then caught her wrists, pushing her down into the bed. "Don't offer yourself to me on such terms. I'll refuse." He wasn't sure he could, but he'd do his best.

Chizuru stared at him, clearly frustrated in every way, but also, maybe, a little hopeful. Or was he imagining it, because he wanted her so much, and needed her to want him back out of love and passion, not despair—or as part of some ridiculous, fatalistic goodbye.

"Hajime? I don't want you to get hurt. I love you. That's the only reason I would ever go to them—"

"I know, but this—" He swallowed, unable to do what he should, and just get up, and get his mind back on prioritizing her safety, and—and so on. Why couldn't things be simple? Why did he always think too much?! He could practically feel Sōji's eyes mocking him for his indecision.

"I'm sorry," Chizuru whispered into the silence. "I was being selfish—to want this time with you. This is my fault—"

"Dammit—no!" He let go of her wrists and curved his hands around her cheeks to cradle her head. "Just… just don't go there." He bent down to kiss her fiercely on the lips, and was surprised to discover that his control was still pitifully weak. Desire reignited as he registered the heat of her skin against his bare chest, and felt her lips part beneath his. He heard her breath hitch—just as it had earlier—and then her arms tightened around him, pulling him fully against her, so that he barely had time to brace one forearm to avoid falling.

"I won't give up—"

"I won't let you go."

With little grace, but also no pointless self-consciousness, he freed them both from their remaining clothes, and gave himself over to kissing and teasing and caressing his beloved's body into heated, extravagant arousal. Inexperience didn't mean lack of imagination, and he'd imagined making love to her so many times before, often to his own chagrin. He kissed and tasted and left marks on her skin, and suckled her breasts, and ran strong, demanding hands along her sides and over her hips and belly and around her smooth backside. And he thanked her, in fervent, heartfelt whispers, for letting him hear her cries of passion, and for sharing her wonderful, sweet body with him.

Her scent was intoxicating—he hadn't realized how much it would affect him. When his explorations finally reached the damp, sensitive folds of skin at her centre, and his fingers started to learn the contours of her most private places, her soft cries became whimpers, and he saw her biting her lower lip so hard that he thought it might bleed.

"Chizuru…" He almost stilled his hand, worried for the first time that he'd somehow hurt her, in his ignorance, but when his fingers slowed, and he lifted his lips from the hard nub of one breast, her expression plainly begged him not to stop, and he felt her hips jerk so as to press her mound more firmly against his hand. Only a little while later, he found himself sliding his fingers within her, both elated and a little shocked by how much he wanted to do such things. His body was beginning to quiver with need and anticipation of release, and he knew that she could feel his hard length pressed tightly against her thigh, and perhaps even the slightly sticky fluid that had started to pool on her skin. Without conscious thought, he pressed his fingers deeper within her, and felt inner muscles tremble and contract against them. Abruptly, he wasn't sure how he was going to manage to hold back any longer. He pulled away from her uncertainly, aware that he'd become completely focussed on sensation.

"Hajime…" She said his name like a plea, and lust jolted through him.

"Chizuru, I… I…" He swallowed, so deep in desire that he couldn't form a proper question. When she reached out and pulled his mouth down to hers, kissing him passionately, his whole body twitched involuntarily, and he clung to her, feeling his climax starting to build out of control. He could only hope—though he was moderately optimistic—that he'd made his lover feel the same way.

He was incredibly grateful when Chizuru shifted her hips, and awkwardly, but without hesitation, helped guide him to her entrance. He took that as permission to finally surrender his thread-bare self-command and join with her, and a soft groan escaped his lips as he thrust into her, his hands moving to grip her hips as he rocked hard against her once, and then withdrew a short space before burying himself deep into her once more, savouring the way her tight, slick walls clenched and pulsed around his shaft. She was very wet, and she smelled of arousal and sex, and a strong wave of possessiveness swept over him along with the desperate yearning of near-orgasm. Unable to stop, he thrust into her again and again, listening to her moan, and feeling her writhe beneath him. Somewhere in the haze of adrenaline and pleasure, he promised himself to do more for her next time, since this time he seemed to lack the ability to do much more than ride a dizzying wave of physical sensation until he was coming hard and fast inside her, his seed spilling hot within her welcoming body.

They lay together for some time afterwards, without speaking, their bodies still joined, their skin sticky with sweat and still sensitive to the other's touch. Saitō was conscious that he had left numerous bruises and marks on Chizuru—some light, some deep—and he was embarrassed that he didn't fully recollect being so rough. It had also occurred to him, too late, that he probably hadn't been careful enough or gentle enough, given that it was her first time. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be able to think clearly enough to express his concern just yet. He suspected he was smiling, and was a little worried that he looked smug.

Chizuru, on the other hand, looked… happy. More than happy. For some reason that Saitō couldn't fathom, she was gazing lovingly up at him through dreamy, half-closed eyes, and showed no inclination to have him move from where he lay. The only problem was that he felt a distinct inclination to make love to her again, but wasn't sure whether that would be either appropriate, or welcome. He'd never been entirely sure what women really thought about sex, having never had the opportunity—or courage—to ask. But… she really did look happy. And beautiful. Gorgeous, even. Although that didn't necessarily reflect how she felt.

"Thank you," he said, at last. It didn't begin to convey how he felt, but it was a start.

"Oh…" Chizuru looked startled, but then relaxed again and grinned at him. "You're welcome—I mean, thank you, too."

There was a lot going on, back in the real world. And somebody was going to track them down, probably either Sōji, or Hijikata-san, and probably sooner rather than later. Saitō tightened his arms around Chizuru.

"Remember, you promised."

"I know. No giving myself up just to protect everyone I care about—and especially you—from the anger of the most powerful family in the country."

He blinked. "Somehow you make it sound like I'm being selfish." Then, before it could even begin to turn into another disagreement, he added. "But even if I am—yes, that is correct. Also, to quote something either Sano-san, or Shinpachi, said one time: have a little faith, okay?"

Chizuru looked up at him with an unusually roguish smile.

"I have faith in your endurance…"

Saitō felt his eyes widen in surprise, and then Chizuru suddenly looked away, red suffusing her cheeks. Gently, he turned her face back toward his, and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry if I was too rough—I really am. I don't know what was wrong with me. But I'd be very happy to let you test my endurance, if you want to."

And if Sōji, Hijikata-san, or anyone else needed him in the next hour or two, then that was just too bad. Chizuru's well-being, and her good opinion of him, were far more important than a national championship, a potential rift with his father, or the threats of a family with distinctly dangerous business practices.

[END]

A/Note:  I realized part-way through editing that the background for this Saito is influenced by that of the Saito from an entirely different otome game (DTL)

Tags: @shell-senji @hidetheremote @eliz1369 @nalufever @annedey @nospringonions @soujthings @do-it-for-keef @sabinasanfanfic @fury-ous @canadiangaap @aetherium-weaver @hakuyamazakisensei @petri808

To those who read Teachings of Demons:  the new chapter is underway and should be finished this weekend.  Still dealing with a number of distractions, but hoping for solid writing time in March.

~ Imp

[winryofresembool]

Edwin one-shot: “Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That’s still up for debate”

Summary: Winry wakes up in the middle of the night to find a very upset and slightly drunk Edward in his room. But how will this encounter change their relationship?

A/N: @odadesu​​ do you still remember sending me this prompt? Because I finally wrote about it :’D This is a truly sappy (and a tiny bit angsty but mostly just sappy) modern!Edwin fic in which they are each other’s flatmates. That’s all you need to know, really.

Words: 1300+ (making up for the long wait)

Genre: fluff, bits of hurt/comfort

Winry Rockbell woke up at around 1 am to loud sounds coming from her flatmate’s room. For one moment she wondered if thunder had struck their home or something else as frightening, but once her brain had woken up enough to count 1+1=2, she concluded Ed must have caused the noise. She grabbed her wrench from the floor and decided she would make her dear flatmate pay for waking her up. She was particularly grumpy because she had been working on a school project with little to no sleep that week, meaning she really needed a good rest now.

“Edward Elric! What the hell are you doing?!” She waved her wrench threateningly at the door even though he couldn’t see it from his room.

No response.

“Ed?”

Still nothing.

“I’m coming in!”

She swung the door open rather fiercely, causing it to bang against the wall so loudly it would probably wake the rest of the building, and was greeted with a worrying sight: Ed was lying on the floor under a pile of books, not able to move.

Instantly, Winry started throwing the books off him and saw him opening his eyes, a pained expression on his face.  

“What happened? Are you OK?” She asked with a worried tone, crouching next to him and let her fingers travel on his face, checking it for injuries.

“Yeah... I was trying to take a book from the top shelf… But that damn thing is still too high!”

Winry could guess the rest. He had lost his balance and somehow managed to take a good number of books with him.

“Why were you trying to read at this hour? Don’t you have classes tomorrow morning?” She asked, knowing better than to make any height related comments.

“Uh… couldn’t sleep,” Ed answered simply.

When Winry reached to help Ed up from the floor, she recognized the smell around him as the same as around Granny Pinako after particularly intense poker nights. “Wait a second… Have you been drinking?”

“What? No! Just a couple of small glasses!” he admitted when Winry narrowed her eyes, not believing him for one second. She could see a bottle on his desk, emptied enough to make Ed’s movements sloppier than usual.

“You were drinking alone in your room? On a school night? You don’t do that unless something wrong, I have known you long enough to know that.”

“It’s been a rough day.” Ed shrugged and wished Winry would change the subject, but she didn’t.

“But… Oh.” Winry stopped herself when she realized what day it exactly was. Third of October.

The day when Ed and his brother Al had become homeless.

They had lost their mother when Ed had been only 5 and Al 4, and their father had been taking care of them alone after that. But on October 3rd, 6 years later, a fire destroyed their house and their father was severely injured while trying to save his sons. He was taken to the hospital, but it was already too late; Van Hohenheim died of his injuries and the boys had no place to go. Winry’s grandmother, who lived near the Elrics, had taken the boys in, and Ed and Al grew up with Winry.

A couple of years later Ed had decided the regular school wasn’t for him, and he had become Izumi Curtis’ student, main focus in chemistry and martial arts. In order to do that, he had moved out of Resembool for a while, but after applying to a college, he returned to his hometown for the summer. It had been decided that he and Winry would get an apartment together if they both got into the college they wanted, which was why they were now living together in Central.

“Ed…” Winry tried to find something comforting to say. “I know nothing can give you back what’s lost but… I have a feeling that he’s watching us from some other dimension even now… probably laughing at our idiocy… and he’s very proud of how far you have come.”

“You think?” Ed asked, allowing himself to have a rare moment of fragility. Winry took the moment to intertwine their fingers (Ed looked up at her in surprise) and sighed.

“Yeah.” She nodded and took one step closer. From there, she could see a tiny bit of hope in his sad and unfocused eyes and decided to push it a little bit further:

“You’re the smartest guy I’ve ever met. Sure, so annoying, loud and hotheaded sometimes, and messy too…” She gestured towards the pile of clothes on Ed’s floor.

“Hey!”

“… BUT you genuinely care about the people around you, even though you rarely show it. And you try to act so strong even though I can see what happened still hurts you. Let it go, Ed. Please. If not for you, for me. I don’t want to find you trying to drown your feelings into alcohol anymore.”

To Winry’s surprise, Ed wrapped his arms around her and buried his head against her neck. They stayed like that for a good while, and even though Ed’s eyes were red from crying, some of the old fire had returned into them.

“Thanks, Winry.”

“You’re welcome.” She wanted to take his mind off of the past, so she suggested: “Hey, since we are both awake… How about another round of Mario Kart? I’m Yoshi this time!”

“Hey, Yoshi is mine!” Ed yelled and chased Winry to their livingroom where they often had their video game tournaments.

Winry beat Ed in the first round, but after that Ed found his momentum and beat her in the next two rounds.

“Now who’s the best?!” he exclaimed after Winry nearly threw her joystick through the TV screen.

“I would have won if you hadn’t left that banana there, ugh!” She put the joystick on the sofa and sat down, hiding her face behind a pillow in embarrassment and frustration.

“You could have dodged it!” Ed argued back.

“Oh ho ho. You are so annoying.”

“You love me either way,” Ed stated happily – possibly still slightly under the influence of alcohol, not thinking through the whole meaning of his statement.

“Hmmm,” Winry looked as if she was considering it, “Do I love you? Yes. Do I like you? That’s still up for debate.”

Suddenly her eyes widened at her own confession – she had never said that to him before even though she had known about her feelings for him for a good while – and she tried to take it back, but it was too late. Ed was laughing at her expression shamelessly.

“You should have seen your face!”

“Is that how you react when someone confesses their feelings for you?” she growled, hurt clear in in voice. Ed quickly realized the mistake he had made and calmed down, putting his hand on her shoulder as a sign of peace.

“Oh no no, Winry! I didn’t mean to… I was just surprised! So… you really mean it? In a non-platonic way?”

“Yeah,” she admitted after considering it for a moment.

Ed blushed and gave Winry a smile that made her stomach do flip flops and pulled her into another hug.

“We really are a bunch of idiots,” he said into her hair quietly.

“Hmm?” Winry asked, confused.

“All this time we have been in love with each other and neither of us has realized it.”

“Wait… are you saying…?”

“Yeah. Love you too.”

“This isn’t alcohol talking, right?”

“No.”

Winry had secretly wished she’d get to hear those words from Ed one day, but Ed had always been so oblivious that she had lost her hopes a long while ago. That’s why, now that it really happened, she had no idea what to do with it. Surprisingly, Ed was one step ahead of her. He pulled away from the hug and instead cupped her cheeks with his hands, looking for a permission to close the gap between them. Winry gave him a small nod and slowly, he inched closed until lips finally met. It was a bit awkward at first, as the couple tried to figure out how to tilt their heads so their noses wouldn’t bump, but eventually they made it work. Winry couldn’t help but smile a bit when she felt his lips moving against hers.

Did she love him? Yes.

Did she like him? Yes.

[lickstynine]

Zhao and Vodka: Origins

The glorious BrOTP is back! After writing a little modern-day drabble, and an overarcing summary of their relationship, G and I whipped out our proper storywriting gloves and wrote about the very first meeting of Ghost and Vody! It’s just plot, no whump, but I really liked writing it. 

(also remember, this is 1985, so the money amounts are a little less than half of what they’d be today)

Enjoy, and feel free to send any questions you may have.

Vody sat on the curb, head in his hands. Painful bruises coloured his ribs, but nothing hurt worse than the sinking feelings of regret making him want to melt into the pavement. How did he end up here? He’d been an Olympian - a winner, even! People had cheered for him, gushed over him, showered him in praises and prizes. And now, not even a month later, he was poorer than ever, with death threats hovering over his head. How could he have been so stupid?

Part of him knew it wasn’t totally his fault - he’d never had money in his life, much less anyone to teach him how to manage it. In theory, poker had been a great idea. He was a sharp guy, with a steely face. He could’ve multiplied his winnings, been set for life… if the game hadn’t been rigged to hell and back.

He hadn’t expected underground gambling to be fair, but he also hadn’t expected to get fucked over that hard. Now he wasn’t even safe in his own country, and he’d had to dig up all the money left to his name to buy a one-way ticket to California before he got a one-way trip to the graveyard. What a fucking idiot he’d been.

The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, sparkling on the frosty roads. Vody’s hand rested on his single duffle bag, and he slung it over his shoulder, climbing to his feet and trudging down the street towards the airport. He couldn’t tell if the ache in his chest was from the bruises, or the already-growing homesickness that made him want to turn back with every step.

Lera’s words hung in his head. “We know you don’t want to leave. If it’s what has to happen, it has to happen. We want what is best for you; being safe is obviously the best. Take care of yourself, man.”

Though he was only a train ride away from home so far, everyone already felt so distant, and Vody knew it was only going to get worse. His eyes stung with tears that threatened to freeze on the spot, and he brushed them away with one gloved hand. Going through the airport barely felt real. The voices around him sounded miles away, and he shuffled through the lines like an awkward robot.

He hadn’t expected to fit well in an airplane seat, but the cramped space was almost insufferable. His knees had to touch his chest to keep from busting through the seat in front of him, and his head practically hit the ceiling. The flight was going to take the better part of a day, and he knew he wouldn’t be comfortable enough to sleep for any of it. He rested his chin on his knees, constantly glancing up at his duffel bag, which seemed worryingly insecure in the overhead storage.

The flight went quite smoothly, but Vody almost wished something had happened, just because he was so painfully bored. He hated being so alone, with nothing to do or think about. It left him far too much time to get lost in his thoughts, to beat himself up for being such an idiot, to miss his family, to panic about how lost he would be when he got to the states. By the time the plane finally landed, it felt like his blood pressure had tripled.

Walking into the airport was already a culture shock. Everything seemed so much more lively and colourful, and the people were so diverse. He was getting a lot of strange looks, but that wasn’t new - even back home, giants with face scars weren’t exactly normal. The restaurants around him smelled amazing, if strange, and Vody’s stomach growled as he eyed the iconic golden arches of the fabled McDonald’s.

As good as everything looked, he just shook his head and kept walking. He didn’t have any money for food; he’d barely managed to scrape up enough for a plane ticket. His only chance at eating tonight were the handful of trinkets in his suitcase - his mother had given him what few heirlooms she had left, in hopes that he could maybe sell them for a bit of money to get back on his feet. He tugged his duffel bag closer to his body, not that he really expected anyone to attempt to rob him of all people.

Stepping out into the chaos of San Francisco was perhaps the most surreal experience of Vody’s life. He felt like Dorothy walking out of her grey Kansas farmhouse and into the technicolour Oz. The more he heard the people around him talking, the more painfully aware he was of how little he understood. Sure, the ones who spoke loudly or slowly or clearly were somewhat intelligible, but overall, he really couldn’t make out much.

Luckily, Vody at least knew the phrase ‘Pawn Shop,’ and he didn’t have to scan the streets for too long before he found what he was looking for. Sadly, no one was looking for what he offered: some first-edition Russian books, a handful of old copper rubles from nearly 200 years ago, and a set of beautifully painted Matryoshka dolls that had belonged to his grandmother.

One guy suggested taking them to a museum, but the word seemed lost on Vody, who eventually just sighed and walked away. He’d trudged all across town, his hat, coat, and gloves shed and tucked into his bag. The California heat was strange and exhausting, but he couldn’t give up. If he couldn’t sell these for something, he wasn’t eating tonight, and Lord, was he hungry.

After the fifteenth pawn shop, Vody was starting to get hopeless, and his energy was fading with his enthusiasm. He had made his way to a part of the city the locals called ‘Chinatown,’ and it wasn’t hard to tell where it got the name. It made him a little excited - maybe someone with a different cultural background would see more value in what he was selling.

Sadly, the pawn shop there was no more interested in Vody’s trinkets than the American-run stores. However, they had directed him to someone who might want to look at his items: a store around the corner that sold ‘very weird things, very weird’ as the pawn shop owner had put it.

As he came up on the shop he’d been directed to, Vody couldn’t help but be intrigued. There were strange animal skulls and weird trinkets in the window, and it had an almost supernatural air about it. He had to duck severely to even attempt to fit in the door, but it didn’t hinder him from going in. The walls inside were completely obscured by floor to ceiling shelves and cabinets of all different sizes, makes, and colors. The whole place seemed to be bursting at the seams with various knick-knacks, as well as some strange furniture and a cluttered table and shelves in the middle. Some of the trinkets looked to be junk, and yet others appeared quite valuable, tucked carefully away inside the glass-paned cupboards. The inside of the store was dimly lit, and a little spooky-- Vody swore there were eyes staring at him from inside many of the cabinets--  and he could only hope he wasn’t about to get murdered.

“Um… excuse?” He ventured, peering into the shop. He could see a figure shuffling around in the back room, and raised his voice. “Hello?”

An older man, probably mid-forties, appeared from behind a shelving unit toward the back of the little shop, beaming brightly, arms extended in welcome.

“Hello, my large friend, and welcome to the shop!” the man said. “You’ve got trash? I’ve got cash. You’ve got cash? I’ve got treasures!” He strode right up to the larger man and ushered him further into the store. They passed what appeared to be half a car that had been converted into a shelf, while the other half had been turned into a sofa. Vody peered around curiously.

“So, I hear you buy strange thing? I have thing, but pawn shop tell me to do the fucking off…” Vody held up his bag hopefully.

“You heard right!” the man declared. “Only the strangest things here.” He pushed an odd slanted stool toward Vody for him to sit at the desk, but thought better of it and pulled it back away. It was rickety and wooden, and Vody might just break it if he was as heavy as he looked. He looked around for something else, holding a finger up that told Vody to just hold on a minute. After much scraping and shuffling, he returned pushing a slightly worn sofa chair with dogs printed on it, and patted the cushion for Vody to take a seat.

“Alright, let’s see what you got,” he said, going behind the desk and sitting down himself.

Vody was hesitant as he sat down; though it creaked a little, the sofa chair was sturdy, and he sat down properly. He held the bag in his lap, unzipping it and pulling out items one at a time.

“First I have, uh… books. They very old, bout… eighty, hundred years, I think? First… er… oh, what is word? First kind? First one?” He sighed in frustration.

“Oh, a first edition!!” the man said, taking the book and carefully turning it over in his hands. He puffed, blowing his long hair out of his eyes so he could see better. “Very nice,” he concluded after rifling through the pages.

Vody nodded, looking very pleased. “You like?” he asked, properly hopeful for the first time all day.

“I like,” he replied with a smirk. “How’s twenty sound?”

Vody seemed surprised. The other shopkeepers had told him he’d be lucky to get a few bucks for the ‘crap’ he was hauling around. “Twenty? For just book?”

“Just book? Just book?” he exclaimed with a chuckle. “These are multiple first editions! Of I don’t even know what, but I like them!”

Vody was so relieved, he nearly deflated, sinking into the chair. “I have… other thing. You want to see?”

“Naturally,” he said, placing the books on the shelf behind him.

Digging in a small pocket of the bag, Vody pulled out a handful of coins. He had diligently polished them before he left, and they were glossy copper. “These are rubles. Russian coin. But old one. From seventeen… fiftyish, I think? Mother did not know for sure. Just know we had very long time.”

“These are beautiful! And very collectable to people who are into that kinda thing,” the shopkeeper said. “How are they in such good condition?” He pulled a pair of magnifying lense glasses out of a drawer behind the desk, and flicked two of the lenses down in front of his eyes. They made his eyes appear to take up the entire lens, and they darted about comically as he looked from Vody to the coins and back.

“Family keep them very safe, in little lock box. Before I bring, I wipe off all dust and smudge. Want them to be nice.” Vody explained, sort of miming as he spoke to make sure he was understood.

“Ya done good, kid,” he said, flipping one deftly through his fingers. “Fifteen for the lot?”

Vody nodded eagerly, his face lighting up again. “Da! Ah… yes! Yes, please!”

The man pulled a few bills out of his register drawer.

“Got anything else in that magic sack of yours before I pay you?”

Vody practically jumped out of his seat. “Da! Save best for last.” He pulled out a cloth bundle that looked tiny in his massive hands, unwrapping it as gently as possible to reveal smooth, glossy paint on a little wooden figure. “Is Matryoshka. Think you say… nesting doll? Was grandmother’s… one of first sets made.”

The shopkeeper’s eyes widened behind his glasses, and he took the doll gently.

“Are these hand-painted?” he asked, a note of awe in his voice.

Vody nodded. “Da. Think they were… wedding present.”

The man nodded, opening the first doll carefully to reveal another similarly painted one nestled inside.

“They’re beautiful,” he breathed, twisting the second doll open. The smaller one was just as immaculate, and the tiny one in the center was so glossy it was almost as if it had never seen the light of day before.

Vody watched the man with bated breath. He’d already been offered nearly ten times the money he had dared to expect; if the dolls were worth enough, he could even afford a place to stay for the night. After a long moment of silence, he dared to ask, “You… you like?”

“Like? I love!” he said. “Thirty!” he declared heartily, rummaging around in his register drawer and pulling out more bills.

Vody looked like he might actually have a heart attack. “Thirty? Just for doll?”

“Not just for doll. For handmade, handpainted, early set of genuine Russian nesting dolls,” he said, passing the small wad of bills to Vody. “And what can I say? I like them, and you seem like a good kid.”

Vody took the money, tucking it into his pocket and grabbing the man’s hand to shake. “Thank you! Very much thank!”

“Very much welcome,” the man said with a laugh, reassembling the dolls once he had been released from the ardent handshake and placing them on the shelf behind him as well. “If you ever happen to come across some other buyable things, you know where to find me,” he said. “The name’s Zhao, by the way. My army buddies called me Ghost.”

Vody looked surprised, but pleased by this information. “You in army?” He asked.

“Marines, technically. Or at least, I used to be,” he said. “Vietnam.” He pulled his dog-tags out of his shirt and jingled them bit before tucking them back in, safe against his chest.

“Really? You not look old enough for Vietnam…” Vody remarked, earning him a loud laugh from Zhao. “I was in army… couple years ago now. Afghan war. You… America… against us. But, America been against Russia long time now.” He shrugged.

“True enough,” he agreed. “Unfortunate thing, really. War. World, Cold, “police action”, or any other names they might come up with for ‘em.”

Vody nodded solemnly. “War no good. I go because I have to. Wished I could stay with family. Wish I could stay with family now.” He sighed.

“They’re, what, back in Russia?” he asked.

“Da. I… had to leave. My fault.” Vody huffed, scowling down at his worn boots.

“Damn,” Zhao murmured sympathetically. “You got anyone over here?”

Vody laughed bitterly. “No. I not even have money for dinner til I come here.”

“Double damn, kid,” he said, falling deep into thought for a second. After a moment’s silence, he slapped the top of his desk, startling Vody a bit. “Tell ya what. My wife is trying her hand at frying some chicken tonight. Never done it before. If you want, you can come up and suffer through it with me and my girls, provided you give me something to introduce you with other than “kid”, and maybe help me move some shit around the shop. You look like you could push these shelves around easy as you could me,” he said with a snort.

Vody paused, partly to process everything Zhao had said, and partly to make sure he wasn’t going crazy. “You… give food? And… work?” He asked.

“Yeah, why not. It’s just me and the missus running this place, and she’s got her hands full with the girls and her other job,” he said with a shrug. “Could use an abnormally large and strangely gracefully Russian man around.”

Vody laughed. He would’ve bowed, but there wasn’t really room for him to do so without knocking over. “Will do my best.” He paused for a moment before adding. “Oh! Almost forgot. Name. Am Vodyanov Romanovich. Friends just say Vody.” He held out a massive paw to shake again.

“Alright then, Vody.” He gave the proffered hand a firm shake. “How about you come upstairs and get yourself set up?”

“Okay.” Vody closed his duffle bag, slinging it over his shoulder and smiling. “Lead way.”

[bad-draft-stuff]

c. AU 10

look at this rate im just gonna caption every goddamn draft as ‘spoopy’

Arsé-kun: -Friday, November 5th- Sheepy: Bedi: Fou, did you know that you weren't anywhere in this cat book I read? You must be a unique cat! Doesn't that make you feel special? Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs the book. Rubs against it. Sheds on it some more.* Sheepy: Bedi: Well... I suppose that's your way of saying you do. Sheepy: Bedi: I think you're the best kitty. But the mystery is... what kind of cat are you? Did you know other Fous before you met me? Arsé-kun: Fou: maow? Sheepy: Bedi: Thinking that you may have been all alone out there... It really makes me sad.. Arsé-kun: *Bedi gets headbutted* Sheepy: *Bedi pets Fou* Arsé-kun: *Fou approves* Sheepy: Bedi: I wonder... Maybe Aru's teacher knows what kind of cat you are. Maybe he'd be willing to answer. Arsé-kun: *Fou makes a cat sound. Great talk.* Arsé-kun: *Fou then does the cat thing where he just stares at nothing across the room. What'd you see, lil buddy?* Sheepy: *Bedi follows his gaze* Arsé-kun: *What'd I just say?? It's fuckin' nothing.* Sheepy: Bedi: There's nothing there... creepy. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, King Arthur's a ghost. Maybe he can figure out what you're looking at...? Arsé-kun: *Fou cocks his head, stares, and then jumps off the sofa to investigate the wall behind the tv. Fou you don't belong back there* Sheepy: Bedi: F-Fou...?! Arsé-kun: Fou: Hao! Sheepy: *Some DVDs fall off the table! But nobody touched them...* Sheepy: Bedi: Um, Fou, you shouldn't be back there! Arsé-kun: *Fou was alarmed by the falling objects and hightailed it out of there. He knocked more dvds off the table getting back to Bedi. Thanks bud* Sheepy: Bedi: ?! Arsé-kun: *Fou is staring at the dvds like they were gonna bite him. Loud* Sheepy: Bedi: Um, it's okay, Fou! The DVDs won't hurt you! Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrrrp. Sheepy: *The DVDs are moving by themselves and going back to their original spot...* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Pardon my intrusion, but what was that sound...? Sheepy: Bedi: You're very quick moving... The DVDs fell. I appreciate you picking them up. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I still struggle lifting solitary objects. Do not thank me-- I did not do that. Sheepy: Bedi:....?! Sheepy: Bedi: Then... Do you see anything by the TV? Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... *he squints* There is definitely something there. I cannot make it out clearly... Sheepy: Bedi: I see... How unfortunate... Sheepy: *Whoever, or whatever, it is didn't like that revelation. The entity knocks over the DVDs again before leaving bloody claw marks on the wall! Pay attention to me!!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur "steps" back, briefly startled.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: If you can speak, it would be much more preferred if you did. Sheepy: *The entity pauses before beginning to scribble things on the wall!* Sheepy: Entity: [LOOK LooOk look LOOK] Arsé-kun: Arthur: We are looking. Go on. Sheepy: Entity: [YOU DIED YOU DIED YOU DIED YOU DIED] Sheepy: Entity: [YOU ALL DID] Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I would disagree, as there is a living person in this room. Unless this is about something else. Do continue anyway. Sheepy: Entity: [YOU ABANDONED ME] Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... ... *he looks to Bedi* Sir, please leave for the time being. Take the cat. This may be personal. Sheepy: Bedi: Right. Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck. *He picks up Fou and leaves!* Sheepy: Entity: [YOU ALL ABANDONED ME] Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I did not expect to die when I did. Sheepy: Entity: [LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR] Arsé-kun: Arthur: So you are suggesting I died intentionally? Why would I do such an inane thing, good sir? Sheepy: *There's a long pause before he starts to write again* Sheepy: Entity: [YOU KILLED THE QUEEN] Arsé-kun: Arthur: Pardon! I did have a lapse in judgement, but as far as I was aware, she was brought to safety! If something happened after my death, then how could I have done anything? Sheepy: Entity: *They pause before slowly beginning to write again* Sheepy: Entity: [GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY] Sheepy: Entity: [IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT] Sheepy: Entity: [I LOST MY EVERYTHING] Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fine! You may charge me as guilty all you like! But am I allowed to know the identity of my judge?? Sheepy: Entity: *They pause once more, before slowly writing out, letter by letter...* Sheepy: Entity: [T R A I T O R] Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Are.... Are you.....? Sheepy: Entity: [I BETRAYED YOU] Arsé-kun: *Arthur pales, but is fighting to keep his poker face.* Sheepy: *The entity doesn't seem to notice, and if they did, they don't comment on it.* Sheepy: *...The entity, while waiting for a response from Arthur, has begun doodling something on the wall. It looks like... Fou?* Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... ....... I won't have traitors in my territories. Sheepy: Entity: *they suddenly stop doodling* Sheepy: Entity: [NO NO NO IM SORRY IM SORRY] Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can thank you for coming to seek me out, but I most certainly c-cannot allow you to stay within the perimeter..! Sheepy: Entity: [DONT ABANDON ME AGAIN] Arsé-kun: Arthur: You aren't staying here, Mordred! Out with ye! *Arthur throws a hand out and casts a warding spell!* Sheepy: *There's no response from the entity. Arthur successfully got rid of them!* Sheepy: *There's briefly some clawing noises at the door that get deeper and more desperate before finally stopping all together. Maybe the entity didn't go so far after all.* Arsé-kun: *Arthur stares towards the door for a few moments, before outright bailing.* Arsé-kun: *... To under the kitchen table, throwing his cape over himself as if it'd protect him.* Sheepy: Aru: *She enters with a basket of flowers. She's very cheerful!* Merlin~! Your ward is really decent for a first try! If you try again, it should work out really well! Arsé-kun: *Several beats of silence. The lack of immediate Merlin answer tells Aru that hey, he isn't here. Also, the vibes are rancid* Sheepy: Aru: ....Um... Hello? *She looks around* ...? Arsé-kun: *Fou chirps from the kitchen* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Fou! *She rushes over to him* Did you see the wall out there? Be careful, or you might get that red stuff on your fur! Arsé-kun: Fou: ? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Something was out there with King Arthur. It may have done that. Arsé-kun: *Fou wants to investigate. Fou is gonna investi- Fou turns around and comes back in* Sheepy: Aru: Something?... It must've liked Fou a lot, because it drew him. Sheepy: Aru: But Arthur wasn't there... Where did he go...? Arsé-kun: *Fou looks at Aru, and then goes under the table.* Sheepy: *Aru looks under the table* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is still there.* Sheepy: Aru:...! Arthur...! It's just like that dream... Sheepy: *Aru goes under the table* Sheepy: Aru: Are you okay, Arthur...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Mor... 'dred was, they were..... *he's very rattled* Sheepy: Aru:....? Sheepy: Aru: Mordred...? He was here? But how? I didn't touch the ouija board. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I don't... I don't know. I don't know how they found me. Sheepy: Aru: But, but...! Don't worry! I'll protect you! Maybe I can't fight very well, but I have other things in my arsenal! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... How silly of me to require this.. I was under the belief it was a one time event... Sheepy: Aru: It's not silly! You're human! You're allowed to have fears and trauma just like anyone else! Arsé-kun: Arthur: How king-like of me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But I suppose you're right. *he raises some cape to peer out at Aru* If a modern king is permitted, then so is everyone else. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! I'll be with you as long as you need, okay? *She gives him a bright smile* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I appreciate the aid. Arsé-kun: Kay: *from his room* What the FUCK happened out there?! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah. Kay! Don't come out! The wall is covered in blood! Arsé-kun: Kay: YEAH I FUCKIN' NOTICED. Sheepy: Bedi: There's a second ghost! Arsé-kun: Kay: WOW THEN HE'LL HATE GAWAIN'S KID SIBLINGS HUH. Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I hope not... They're my friends... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... They're just named that way. This is not about them. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... Um... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... If it was not actually... Them, then I made an error.. But.... Sheepy: Aru: Are they the one who left claw marks on the door? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Possibly. Sheepy: Aru: Scary... Really scary... Arsé-kun: Kay: What a goddamn mess. I ain't cleanin' that up. *he drops into a seat* This sucks. Sheepy: Aru: Sorry, Kay... Arsé-kun: Kay: It don't smell like blood, so as far as I'm concerned, it ain't. Sheepy: Aru: I got a gift for both Arthur and you, if that cheers you up! Arsé-kun: Kay: Is it you going offpath alone again? Sheepy: Aru:......*She gives him a sheepish grin*....Um... Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't even do that... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Lets talk about something else. Sheepy: Aru: Sorry, Arthur! I wanted to surprise you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I'll permit it this time. I'd have liked to see things again. Sheepy: Aru: *She pulls something out of her basket. It's a flower crown!* I made this for you! It's a surprise gift! If I'd brought you along, you would've known about it... Arsé-kun: *Arthur carefully takes it from her hands to inspect it.* Sheepy: Aru: I made it from the flowers off the path. That's where you find the best ones! Arsé-kun: Kay: Remember to do somethin' with those. Grif WILL eat them. Sheepy: Aru: I made one for you, too, Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, goodie. Sheepy: *Aru pulls a second one out and gives it to Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay plops it on. He's mildly bemused.* Sheepy: Aru: You look pretty! Arsé-kun: Kay: Definitely the image I want. Sheepy: Aru: Don't you? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can't hear you over the crown. Sheepy: Aru: I'm happy you like it! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... You commented on my ward. I suppose I am wildly out of practice, but I'm glad I retained it. Sheepy: Aru: You did a good job, Arthur! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. Those were something I was once good at. Sheepy: Aru: Really? I didn't know that! I want hear more about it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: A king had the responsibility of keeping his territory safe. Merlin taught me an extra way to do so. That's all. Sheepy: Aru: Wow! I never really thought of that... You know a lot! Sheepy: Aru: But... How did Sir Mordred find you? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do not know. I do not want to know. Sheepy: Bedi: Whoever the ghost is, they cleaned up after themselves when they knocked the dvds over. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .. Like I stated: I could have been mistaken. That is not something they would do, and yet.. Sheepy: Aru: Everything else? Sheepy: Aru: Did anyone else betray you? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Listing that would take all afternoon. Sheepy: Aru: ....... Sheepy: Aru: We can parse from it, um... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Caring about the queen narrows it down.. Sheepy: Aru: They like Fou, implying they like small, fuzzy animals. Arsé-kun: Kay: And they made a goddamn mess. Sheepy: Aru: And despite betraying you, they seem incredibly attached to you... Sheepy: Aru: Knights of the Round Table are professionals at making messes! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I cannot deny this statement. Arsé-kun: Kay: So who wants to clean that mess? I ain't doin' it. Sheepy: Aru: Right... That has to be done... Sheepy: Aru: Let's take a picture first. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why?? Sheepy: Aru: Well, it's evidence! Sheepy: Aru: We have a mystery culprit on our hands who we don't know the identity of, nor how they got in. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Through the wall, presumably. Sheepy: Aru:.....W-well, yeah, but... Arsé-kun: Kay: Send that shit to Merlin. He'll bust a whole fireball on seeing that. *saved it!* Sheepy: Aru: Okay, I will! Sheepy: *Aru goes and takes a picture of it!* Sheepy: Bedi: Worry not. I will clean it. Sheepy: *Aru sends Merlin the pic!* Arsé-kun: Kay: Cool. I gotta deal with Artair later, and possibly Grif if he finds anything. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe we should send it to the Merlin chat, too. Sheepy: Bedi: Artair... he has a wisdom teeth extraction today, right? Arsé-kun: Kay: He does. It's his turn to be made fun of. Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck to both of you. Sheepy: Aru: I want to help watch over Artair! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sure. Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, you can come, too! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Aru] WHAT heepy: Aru: I'll make up to you not bringing you out to find flowers, okay? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I suppose it'll do. Sheepy: Aru: Great! Happy to hear it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Aru] I WANNA SEE THAT AFTER CLASS DONT CLEAN IT THATS EVIDENCE Sheepy: Aru: Merlin says not to clean it, Bedi! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... How unfortunate. It might stain... Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Merlin] I told Bedi not to clean it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Aru] THANKS. ILL CLEAN IT AFTER I INVESTIGATE IT Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Merlin] Thank you, Merlin!! They left claw marks on the front door, too, just so you know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Aru] Why's the cool shit gotta happen when I'm not here?!! Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Merlin] Sorry! I'll ask them to stay the next time they visit until you get back. Sheepy: Aru: Poor Merlin... He never gets to see anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wish I was that lucky. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Isn't it exciting? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's more threatening than anything. Sheepy: Aru: That's too bad to hear! Arsé-kun: *Aru gets a message!* Sheepy: *She reads it* Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] PLEASE SEND MORE IMAGES OF THE HAUNTING. I AM INTRIGUED Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] One sec! The ghost left this on the front door. Sheepy: *She goes to the front door snd takes a pic of the claw marks on the door! She sends it to Morne.* Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] FASCINATING. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] The ghost knew Arthur! Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] NOT TO BE RUDE BUT I DO NOT CARE. WAS GHOST MALEVOLENT Y/N Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, was the ghost malevolent? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No. Upset and angry sure, but no violence. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Arthur says no! Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] POLTERGEIST? DO NOT USUALLY HAVE FAKE BLOOD UNLESS THEY ARE VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE THEMSELVES, I CANNOT PIN IT DOWN FROM A DISTANCE. IS ASSISTANCE NEEDED Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Weirdly enough, no one but Arthur could see the ghost, and even then, it was blurry to him. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Assistance may be needed! It's concerning that we don't know how it got in, nor who it is! Victim of violence is highly likely due to being a KOTR member most likely. Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] THAT'S A STEALTHY BASTARD. VICTIMS CAN BECOME MALEVOLENT. I WILL SEE IF I CAN MANAGE AN EXPDITION. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Thank you!! The ghost was upset and angry apparently so it may become malevolent... right? Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] POSSIBLY. ALWAYS A CHANCE. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Scary. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] But okay, I'll show you around!! Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] I WOULDNT MIND THT WHEN I DO GET THERE. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Great! I'm looking forward to it!!! Arsé-kun: Morne: [text: to Aru] CANNOT SAY WHEN I WILL ARRIVE. NEED TO STORE ENERGY BEFORE I GO. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] Okay, that's fine! I'll wait for when you do! Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Morne] In the meantike, I'll keep an eye out for anything weird! Arsé-kun: *Morne sends a single thumbs up cat image in reply. Definitely got that pic from Memrys* Sheepy: Aru: Morne will visit eventually! Sheepy: Aru: You know Morne, right, Arthur? He's the 12th Merlin! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I only do from watching your letters. Sheepy: Aru: Well, now you can meet him for the first time. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's still strange thinking there are so many of him now. Sheepy: Aru: Well, he's had a lot of time. Arsé-kun: Arthur: More surprised he found someone willing. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Teacher is very kind, so it's no surprise that he would find someone... Sheepy: Aru: After all, Beddy has been living with him for a while, right? So it's not too much of a stretch to imagine someone going one step further and dating him... Arsé-kun: Arthur: So where are they now, then? Sheepy: Aru:.......Ummm.... Sheepy: Aru: If he dated a human, the human wouldn't be alive anymore, right? Arsé-kun: Arthur: If they were human, then that would be correct. Sheepy: Aru: And based on how much weaker each proceeding Merlin is, it's safe to say, I think, that they were probably human. Sheepy: Aru:....But we could ask Teacher! Sheepy: Aru: Beddy's response was, "I don't have any interest in romance. I wouldn't know his love life". Arsé-kun: Arthur: But will we get a simple answer? Sheepy: Aru: Probably not.. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Then what is the point of asking? Sheepy: Aru: If you get enough unclear answers, you can use them to find the true answer! Arsé-kun: Arthur: This is true.. But is it our business? Sheepy: Aru:...Well, I did ask Beddy for info in the past! I just had no luck! By the way, about his own love life, his response was, "I don't remember anything about Amhren and Eneuwag's mother. There's nothing about her in the stories." Sheepy: Aru: So he's a dead end for information about Teacher's love life. Sheepy: Aru: And it may not be our business, but it can't hurt to ask! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why the hell is an old man's sex life anyone's business? Why is that even important right now? Sheepy: Aru: That's not it! Sheepy: Aru: Teacher's really kind! So if he's ever pursued love, I really hope he's found it! Sheepy: Aru: And if he never has, that implies the Merlins afterwards aren't really descended from the original... But I guess Teacher has a habit of hooking people up and then taking their children for his own. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like a witch? Ooooh, give me your firstborn for this small magical feat you can't be assed to learn. Sheepy: Aru: That's how Arthur came to be! Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's a bit more than that... Sheepy: Aru: So by extension, that's how I came to be! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Eugh. I feel really dirty all of a sudden thinking about it. Sheepy: Aru: Eh? Sheepy: Aru: Don't worry! Teacher probably didn't meddle to make us come to be! Maybe. ...Did he? Sheepy: Aru:....Although, I really don't remember our parents at all... All I remember is Teacher... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *bashing into the room* come on and SLAM Sheepy: Aru: Merlin! You're back! Morne's going to visit us! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sick! I've got like half an hour! Hold on I gotta get my camera! Sheepy: Aru: You're goin to take a selfy in front of the ghost graffiti? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wasn't going to, but now I will! Sheepy: Aru: That's how you can impress your twitter followers! Arsé-kun: Merlin: How am I supposed to get oldie camera pictures onto twitter??? Sheepy: Aru:....? Arsé-kun: *Merlin goes and gets his ghost camera. ... It's an instant camera. It's seen a lot of dust and dirty in its time and it's boutta see more dirty* Sheepy: Aru: Wow! That looks neat! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I could use a normal camera, but where's the fun in that? *he takes a picture of the wall. the photo pops out right afterwards* Sheepy: Aru: So fast...! Sheepy: Aru: Did you see the claw marks on the front door, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure did! That's next! But let's give this a hot minute to develop, see if anything's in the picture that shouldn't. Sheepy: Aru: Like the ghost? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Especially that! Sheepy: Aru: Well, Arthur kicked the ghost out, so I doubt we'll be seeing it on the photo. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aww. Sheepy: Aru: Unless a ward won't stop it! Who knows! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmm. *he studies the picture* Nope. No ghost here. Sheepy: Aru: Thank goodness. It'd be scary if the ghost could get past a ward so easily. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, hallway one now! Sheepy: Aru: Okay! Arsé-kun: *Merlin goes out to take more pictures* Sheepy: *There's now drawings in blood on the wall! They're of Fou mostly. Elyan's staring at them blankly.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, someone likes Fou, huh? Good art, too. Can't say I'm a fan of the medium or canvas, though. *snaps pic* Sheepy: Aru: He accidentally scared Fou earlier! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Tragic. That isn't hard to do, though. Sheepy: Aru: Ttrue... Fou is scared of a lot. Arsé-kun: Kay: *in the doorway, looking out at them* Aru, get whatever you're bringing. We gott' go. Sheepy: Aru: Okay! I'll go grab Caliburn so Arthur can come, too! *She rushes to get Caliburn* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I wonder what strange thing I'll have to see today.. Sheepy: *Aru returns with Caliburn* Sheepy: Aru: Post wisdom tooth extraction behavior! You know what a wisdom tooth is, right, Arthur? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I may? But not by that name. Sheepy: Aru: Another set of molars that used to be useful due to how the diets people used to eat would damage their molars, but now they grow in improperly due to people mostly eating soft foods. Sheepy: Aru: Now we extract them so they don't cause damage by growing in wrong! Arsé-kun: Arthur: That sounds.. Tedious. Sheepy: Aru: Soft diets are tedious? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No, removing teeth. Sheepy: Aru: Well, you're asleep when it's happening. Sheepy: Aru: You just wake up to your wisdom teeth being gone! Arsé-kun: Arthur: How? Absinth? Whiskey? Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... A hammer? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Opium??? Sheepy: Aru: General anaesthesia! It puts you to sleep so you some feel anything. There's also local anaesthesia, which just dulls the pain in one place. Sheepy: Aru: But you have to be careful, or you can be put to sleep... Forever. Scary! Sheepy: Aru: General makes you act strange and potentially recklessly while local makes the area feel fuzzy and weird. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... So not that different, perhaps? Sheepy: Aru: Huh? They're associated, but different.. Arsé-kun: Kay: He'll realize it when we get there. He's seen Artair already before. Sheepy: Aru: Okay, that works! Sheepy: Aru: You'll be surprised! Sheepy: Aru: Eventually I'll have to do it, too, but maybe by then it'll be less bad. Who knows! Arsé-kun: Kay: You don't get to cheat out of it with magic. You suffer like all of us do. Sheepy: Aru: No fair! I don't want to suffer! Sheepy: Aru: Just this once, I want to use magic for selfish reasons! Getting a clean, safe, painless wisdom teeth extraction with no after effects! Arsé-kun: Kay: And what, magic can't fuck up your jaw? Sheepy: Aru: Mmm... Well... I guess it can. Teacher wouldn't mess up, though, would he? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I will not answer that. Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, did Teacher try to remove yours? Didn't you need them thanks to the lack o modern dental care? Arsé-kun: Arthur: He did not. But he has messed up spells before, and I doubt that would be the last time. Sheepy: Aru: Oh... I guess even Teacher can make mistakes.... So to be like Teacher, I need to remember that. Sheepy: Aru: Where are we meeting Artair, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Now, where do you think? Sheepy: Aru: The hospital? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yep. Sheepy: Aru: Okay! So we aren't far then! Sheepy: Aru: I'm looking forward to seeing him! Arsé-kun: *They get there? hooray?* Sheepy: Lucan: Took you long enough. Sheepy: Lucan: I'd comment about it being weird that you bring a sword into a hospital, but Okita accidentally slipped one into me while we were messing around the other day. I guess catching tuberculosis is the least of my concerns... ehehe. Arsé-kun: Watson: Don't lie to them. It only went through your clothes, if it'd entered you, we wouldn't be here right now. Sheepy: Lucan: Ahahaha... And yet, one must wonder... Arsé-kun: *Arthur peers into a nearby doorway. Watson looks unfazed by this* Sheepy: Lucan: For a butler, is his appearance not second only to his capabilities...? Arsé-kun: Watson: Not when the butler is not supposed to be working. Sheepy: Lucan: And yet! Even in moments of weakness, it's important to keep a sleek look! Sheepy: Lucan: Without the suit and smile, well... Arsé-kun: *Here comes Artair, stumbling out of the room Arthur was looking into, still absolutely stoned out of his mind from anesthesia.* Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Artair's here! Arsé-kun: Artair: Aruuu, 'turia said I got'go back t'kindergardnnn 'cause I los' my wisdommm *he seems very upset by this, unreasonably so* Sheepy: Aru: It's okay, Artair! You're still really smart! Arsé-kun: Kay: Which means we better send you to preschool. Arsé-kun: *Artair looks horrified briefly* Sheepy: Aru: What would he learn from preschool? Arsé-kun: Kay: I dunno. I thought it sounded good. Sheepy: Lucan: Hey, at least you don't have to wear an ugly hospital gown, Artair. Think about how lucky you are! Arsé-kun: Artair: *clearly unfocused* Wh'...? I wasn' wearin' gowns today, was I..? Sheepy: Lucan: No, you weren't. That's why you're lucky! Sheepy: Lucan: Even if you didn't keep your wisdom, you kept your dignity! Arsé-kun: Artair: I don' wanna go ta kindergarden.... Sheepy: Lucan: Then you want to go to class and not know anything? Arsé-kun: Artair: I don' wanna go to school today... Sheepy: Lucan: Well, what if you've got an exam? Arsé-kun: Artair: ... A wha'? Sheepy: Lucan: Wouldn't that stink? Imagine yourself, having an exam on the very day of your wisdom teeth extraction... Arsé-kun: Watson: Please stop trying to distress the patient. Sheepy: Lucan: You should have fun sometimes, Watson. Arsé-kun: Watson: I do. There is a time and a place. Not now. Sheepy: Lucan: Well, if I was Okita... My way of riling up the patient would be threatening to stab them. Sheepy: Lucan: So if you think about it, my methods are innocent! Arsé-kun: Artair: *confidently* I can't be stabbed... Everyone knows you can't stab a dead man. *and he promptly collapses. Watson was expecting this and caught him quickly.* Woooow.. St. Peter... Sheepy: Lucan:....Wow. Sheepy: Lucan: Do you need a hand with that? Arsé-kun: Artair: *drowsily* a hand and a side of fries please Arsé-kun: Watson: I can handle it, thank you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *wot* Sheepy: Aru: Are you sure I can't be selfish and ask Teacher for help, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Suffer like the rest of us have. *he's smirking* Sheepy: Aru: Are you enjoying yourself? Arsé-kun: Kay: You know it. Sheepy: Aru: You're really mean sometimes! Arsé-kun: Kay: Not new information. You know I'm an asshole. Sheepy: Aru: But not to me! Arsé-kun: Watson: ... Why don't you go on ahead? I'll bring Mr. Artair as soon as he's stabilized. Sheepy: Aru: Thank you, Mr. Holmes's Friend! Arsé-kun: Watson: *what.* Sheepy: Lucan:...Ouch. Sheepy: Lucan: Always a sidekick, huh? Even at your own job... Arsé-kun: Artair: *mumbling incoherently* absolutely lambasted, buh whys bast got lambs.... Sheepy: Aru: I saw you with Mr. Holmes once! I like him! I gave him some flowers I picked earlier. Did he make sure to give one to you, too? Arsé-kun: Watson: He looked at me with confusion. I wasn't sure how to explain, so you'd better do that. Sheepy: Aru: He didn't give one to you? That's too bad. Sheepy: Aru: It's okay, I'll give you one directly next time, as thanks for taking care of Artair! Arsé-kun: Watson: Now then. Your brother is leaving you. Sheepy: Aru: Right! I should follow him! Thanks!! *She follows Kay* Arsé-kun: Kay: Byeeee, Lucan! I'm gonna trash your room! Sheepy: Lucan: Ugh, fine! *He goes to his room* Arsé-kun: *Artair is eventually brought in, mumbling something about correlating contents and mercy. Very, uh. Very nice, Artair.* Sheepy: Arturia: So! You've finally returned! I thought you'd run away! Arsé-kun: Artair: Why...? We're not meant to voyage so far... Sheepy: Arturia:....Well, you disappeared for so long, I thought you were upset about my joke. Arsé-kun: Kay: Did you forget where he was, you little shitty gremlin? Arsé-kun: Artair: Joke....? Sheepy: Arturia: Well, if he slipped and fell in his state, even with all the doctors around, if nobody was right there to catch him, he could hit his head. Arsé-kun: Kay: He almost did before we got here. Sheepy: Arturia: You see! Arsé-kun: *Artair sinking into the sofa like putty into quicksand in the background. because that makes sense* Arsé-kun: Artair: .... Luuuuke I got a questionn Sheepy: Lucan: What is it? Arsé-kun: Artair: what happened to plan five..? why'd they skip to nine? Sheepy: Lucan: There aren't any plans before nine because they tried them all offscreen. Arsé-kun: Artair: How do we know..? What do we know... of the world and the universe about us? Arsé-kun: Kay: alright Socrates give it a rest Sheepy: Lucan: The movie was meant to be Grave Robbers from Outer Space originally, but the church didn't like that title very much, so it was renamed Plan Nine from Outer Space.... Arsé-kun: Artair: What graves are in space...? Who died? Sheepy: Lucan: Anyway, there's dialogue saying that they tried the other plans without success. Sheepy: Lucan: Well, the plot is about aliens that come from outer space and steal dead bodies from graves! As for who died... Sheepy: Lucan: Bela Lugosi! Tor Johnson! ... Others, but none of are importance to the point that you'd remember their names. Sheepy: Lucan:...Wait, why am i explaining this to you? You're the one who's watched it a bunch of times! Sheepy: Aru: Wow... He really did lose his wisdom... Arsé-kun: Artair: I don't wanna go to kindergarden!!! Sheepy: Aru: Don't worry! You're too old for kindergarten! Arsé-kun: Artair: Preschool?! Sheepy: Aru: Too old for that, too! Sheepy: Aru: You'll get it back soon, don't worry! Sheepy: Lucan: We can watch it again and bring it back! Sheepy: Aru: It's a Beddy kind of movie... Sheepy: Lucan: No, Bedi's not interested in things like this. For him, the more dinosaurs, the better. Arsé-kun: Kay: Bedi's the guy who watches Jurassic Park and points out the problems with it. Sheepy: Lucan: He is! And don't get me started on the sequels! Sheepy: Aru: Really? Beddy likes it... Arsé-kun: Kay: A real sight is watchin' both Bedi and Merlin get upset at a movie. A real circlejerk. Sheepy: Lucan: That's a frightening thought! Sheepy: Aru: Beddy says, "those are some itty-bitty dragons. Sir Lancelot could take two of those and they'd be at a disadvantage". Arsé-kun: Kay: Damn. Sheepy: Aru: But is it an exaggeration...? Sir Lancelot has killed many dragons before. Arsé-kun: Kay: What's a dinosaur but a shitty dragon? Sheepy: Aru: Nowadays, we think of them as mythological creatures, but could it be... they were just hunted to near extinction? Dove never met his biological parents because they were slain before he ever hatched out. Without Teacher, he never would've survived, I think... Arsé-kun: Arthur: They were not seen often in my own time. They were already rare by that point, and the ones we saw were generally hostile. Sheepy: Aru: That's why Sir Lancelot went around killing them, right? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Knights were ordered to take down hostile wildlife if it was an active threat, and not... Say, a random bear we saw that morning. Sheepy: Aru:....Ehhh.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: As in, most certainly going to attack us or peasantry. Sheepy: Aru: You say that, but you ordered Sir Gawain to hunt down a white hart for the trophy aspect of it, right...? That's what Le Mort D'Arthur says, anyway! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is that a bad thing? Sheepy: Aru: It wasn't hurting anyone, was it? Arsé-kun: Arthur: It was not. The head was used for a trophy, the fur was used, the meat was used, the bones were used. Like regular hunting, except I kept part of it. Sheepy: Aru: Ah... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Right. Humans don't hunt anymore. Sheepy: Aru: So really, the one who goes against the whole, "don't kill non-hostiles except for hunting" is... Sheepy: Aru: Sir Jaufre, the old lady bully! Sheepy: Aru: Although, I suppose all the knights did it. No one's perfect... Sheepy: Aru: But it's difficult for humans to hunt now with the restrictions of the path. There's still people who enjoy hunting and fishing. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fishing... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... But yes, things like that were why Jaufre was... Sometimes intolerable. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But that's just how he was. Stupidly violent, but stupidly loyal. Also, the old lady was cannibalizing orphans with her family. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That was most certainly a thing that was happening. More than once. Sheepy: Aru: Sounds like a handful... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Three handfuls worth of trouble. Sheepy: Aru: Being a king must be really hard... In a way, part of your job is babysitting grown men with swords and no sense of self control. Arsé-kun: Arthur: At least it wasn't children. Sheepy: Aru: Well, now you're babysitting a kid with a sword! Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's only one. I can handle that. Arsé-kun: *they watch a bad horror movie. it's bad and stupid. it's so bad and stupid Artair falls asleep in the first ten minutes. Even Kay can tolerate it* Sheepy: *Lucan is enjoying himself! Aru just seems confused. Arturia is questioning why they're watching it.* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is visibly confused. Kay doesn't actually care. Artair wakes up twice to quote a line exactly on time, and then went back to sleep. Raw fucking talent* Arsé-kun: Artair: ... *on time with the ending narration* "Can you prove that it didn't happen?" Sheepy: Lucan: I can't! Arsé-kun: Artair: I don' wanna. Arsé-kun: Artair: *yawns* Sooo.. Where are we..? Sheepy: Lucan: My room. Arsé-kun: Artair: hhuh. Sheepy: Lucan: In the hospital. Arsé-kun: Artair: oh. yeah. thatd make sense Sheepy: Lucan: Thought I returned to the dorms? Nope! Arsé-kun: Artair: You? Dorms? You'd be dead in the week. Sheepy: Lucan: I used to stay in one! Sheepy: Lucan: But my health, well... Arsé-kun: Kay: Sucks dick Sheepy: Lucan: And yet! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're alive somehow. Sheepy: Lucan: I get free food! Sheepy: Lucan: Of course, it's tasteless. Sheepy: Lucan: Really, they should leave the cooking up to me. Although, that Il guy broke glass in there the other day so it's dangerous. Arsé-kun: Kay: What, they didn't fuckin' clean it? Sheepy: Lucan: It's cleaned up by now, of course! But that doesn't mean he doesn't go in there still. Everything he touches in the kitchen breaks. Sheepy: Lucan: And if I had a dizzy spell while using the oven... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then you sit down! On your ass! Sheepy: Lucan: Sometimes the fastest way down is falling! Sheepy: Lucan: So cooking alone isn't necessarily safe. Arsé-kun: Artair: At least a quarter of horror movie deaths are in the kitchen Sheepy: Lucan: Yes! You see! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I have a question. Sheepy: Aru: Yes? Arsé-kun: Arthur: What, and pardon my swearing, the fuck did I watch? Sheepy: Lucan: The worst movie ever made. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Understandable. Have a great evening, sir. Sheepy: Lucan: The director thought it was a masterpiece, I'm sure. Sheepy: Aru: Sometimes Bors makes bad movies for fun. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can understand Sir Bors doing that. He would tell silly tales whenever he thought of them. heepy: Aru: Now he has the medium to do it best! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Good for him. Sheepy: Aru: Beddy's in them sometimes. Sheepy: Aru: He doesn't even wear his helmet for them sometimes. Did you know... Sheepy: Aru: He's secretly incredibly handsome underneath his helmet? Or is the word beautiful? Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Of course I know. But now I am intrigued. Sheepy: Aru: About what? Arsé-kun: Arthur: How Sir Bedwyr looks without his helmet is something I already knew. But I would like to see him without it now. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he's changed since your time! If nothing else, he smiles more, probably! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, I certainly hope so. Sheepy: Aru: I have pictures of him, but Teacher told me not to show Merlin... Sheepy: Aru:...Maybe you'd be an exception...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am not Merlin. Sheepy: Aru: Okay! One sec! Sheepy: Aru: *She hunts through her phone for a bit before showing Arthur a picture! It's of Beddy, smiling brightly, with an arm wrapped around Bors's shoulders! His hair is neat and pulled back into a ponytail. What a change!* Arsé-kun: *Arthur looks delighted!!* Sheepy: Aru: He's always really happy when Bors shows up. They're good friends! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Well, that's the best thing I've seen this month! I would pay in gold to have that framed. Arsé-kun: *Kay starts cha cha sliding in real smooth to take a peek* Sheepy: Aru: I'm sure that's a thing we can do! But would Beddy mind? Hmm... Sheepy: Aru: He's with Teacher, but maybe he can visit us. I think he'd be really happy to see you, too. Arsé-kun: *A little discord notification pops up on Aru's phone! It's from the merlins chat!* Sheepy: *Aru checks it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] HELKP Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Are you okay?! Where are you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I FJVKD U P REAL BAD ILL TURN LOCATION ON BUT UH. WET. LOT OF WATR Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] i'm in flavortown right now Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Wet? You're in a swimming pool? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] I HJOP[E THS ISNT AN OCEN BUT I JUSAT WANMTRED T FGO SEE ARTAIR HPW DID THIS HAPPN Sheepy: Aru: [chat] Can you swim? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] YS BUT ITS V COLD Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] i can help but let me finush eating first Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] @Misyr You better do that NOW. Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] @Magnus Get your ship moving! Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] you're good at ordering people around but not actyally going to help yourself, you know thar? I'll go but don't be surprised if you hear yhat a volcano has gone off or skmething. I don't mesh well with the outside world! Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] You KNOW what happens when I go to help! I've already killed Morne, I'm not doing that again! Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] But fine! If you end up overboard I don't wanna hear it! Sheepy: Misyr: [chat] I can't swim... heepy: Misyr: [chat] anyway don't get mad when I don't respind, I'm going to help 14 Arsé-kun: Malleus: [chat] I'm going as well. Sheepy: *Misyr goes to help Merlin.* Arsé-kun: *It's dark. I don't know what Misyr expected. The ocean isn't very onpath, like, ever.* Sheepy: Misyr: Hmhmhm... A little darkness can't stop a demon lord! Sheepy: Misyr: Heeee~eeeyyy, Merlin! Sheepy: Misyr: There you are...! *He approaches Merlin* You couldn't have chosen a worse spot if you'd tried! Sheepy: *Misyr pulls Merlin out of the ocean!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin tries to grab onto him, but he's so cold that he can't manage it* Sheepy: Misyr: Sheesh, you're freezing. I'd warm you up, but I'd probably set a fire in the process. Sheepy: Misyr: Wow...I've got bad news for you. Sure, I came here, but I suddenly realized that I have no clue how to get back! Arsé-kun: *VERY SUDDEN, VERY LOUD SHIP HORN. Followed by howling?* Sheepy: Misyr: *He looks around* Oho... A ship! Sheepy: Misyr: Heeeyyyy! We're over here! Arsé-kun: Malleus: *presumably on a loudspeaker* Port side, Captain! Sheepy: Misyr: Sheesh, you're loud...! Arsé-kun: *The ship approaches Misyr's left!* Sheepy: Misyr: Ah! You found me! Arsé-kun: Malleus: *throwing down a rope ladder to him* Grab on, Misyr! We'll haul you two up! Arsé-kun: *The rope ladder gets pulled up!* Sheepy: Misyr: Aaahahahaha! As you can see, the rescue is a success! All thanks to this demon king! Sheepy: Misyr: Ah, I suppose you two were helpful too. Ah... but hold on. *He puts Merlin down, takes off his own robes, and puts them on Merlin. They're warm! Just like a hug.* Arsé-kun: Malleus: Get that ego down to reasonable levels or so help me. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha! I'm a final boss, so I should act like one, right? Have you ever met one wjth self confidence problems? Arsé-kun: *Malleus just sighs* Arsé-kun: Malleus: It's hard to believe you're my elder sometimes. Sheepy: Misyr: Well, perhaps the "elder Misyr" isn't the "current Misyr"! Simply... Sheepy: Misyr: I grew bored of all that! Arsé-kun: Malleus: Fine. Can you be serious for the next two minutes? Sheepy: Misyr: Of course. Arsé-kun: Malleus: 14 shouldn't have been able to get this far from where he was. So how did this happen? Sheepy: Misyr: I'm not 14. How should I know? (...Is this super far away?) Sheepy: Misyr: Maybe it dragged him here? Arsé-kun: Malleus: But how..? Sheepy: Misyr: Well, I don't know where we are, so I can't tell you. Sheepy: Misyr: However! I can say...! Sheepy: Misyr: It's an ocean! Arsé-kun: Malleus: .... Yes, thank you. Sheepy: Misyr: That's whay my demon lord senses are telling me. Arsé-kun: Primo: *appearing very suddenly* Ah. I see, I was a bit slow on the uptake. Sheepy: Misyr: Aaahahahaha! You'll have to move faster to outspeed this demon king! Arsé-kun: Primo: Perhaps I will! Sheepy: Misyr: Impressive! I'd like to see! However... one question. Sheepy: Misyr:...Where are we? Arsé-kun: Primo: We're in the middle of the Pacific Ocean! Somewhere around... 47, 125? I'm no good at coordinates! Sheepy: Misyr:.... *blank stare*... I still don't really understand! Arsé-kun: Primo: We're too close to R'yleh for my tastes. Arsé-kun: Primo: Please tell me you can manage a teleport back to where you were before. I need to be here for... Reasons! Arsé-kun: Primo: And take 14 with you. I saw the message and I know what went wrong. I'll deal with that myself, don't you worry! Sheepy: Misyr:...... *He's struggling to keep his smug grin*..... Sheepy: Misyr: Ahaha... Yes, I totally can return. (Now what exactly is the way back...?) Sheepy: Misyr:.........Hey, one quick question. Sheepy: Misyr: Where was I before? Sheepy: Misyr: Don't laugh. This isn't my home world! I know my home to the ends of the world, so don't think I'm bad with directions! Arsé-kun: Malleus: ... ... How did you survive this long? Sheepy: Misyr: Ouch... Even demon lords have feelings, you know? Arsé-kun: Primo: [text: to Aru] 14 has been recovered! No harm done, just ended up a bit further than a normal misfire!~~ Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Primo] Thank you for helping him, Teacher!! Arsé-kun: Primo: [text: to Aru] I didn't do it! Thank Malleus and Misyr! I just happened to be here~ Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Primo] Okay!! I'll thank them, too! Arsé-kun: Primo: 6, I could give you a straight path back and you'll end up at the end of the world anyway! Sheepy: Misyr: E-ehhh?! Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahahaha! You underestimate me! Arsé-kun: Primo: Ah, perhaps! You'd see a straight line and go perpendicular. Sheepy: Misyr:?! Sheepy: Misyr: That really hurts! Why's everyone attacking this demon king, huh? Arsé-kun: Primo: For fun. For glory. For the knowledge.. Ah, never mind! Sheepy: Misyr: You should be grateful I'm so laid back! Arsé-kun: Primo: Here, I'll give you a hand this time, coup de'mon. Sheepy: Misyr: After all, I'm a final boss! I could just cause mass destruction in response to getting insulted if I wasn't such a good guy! Arsé-kun: Primo: Yes, of course. Arsé-kun: Primo: I'm going to send you back now!~ Arsé-kun: Primo: Failure to reach the destination will end in termination!~ Sheepy: Misyr: Eh?! Arsé-kun: Primo: I don't make the rules! Sheepy: Misyr: You can't just kill me! Arsé-kun: Primo: This is true! You'd need at least three exorcisms and a holy water bomb, and even then, it would be unlikely unless 13 stayed with you for a week! Arsé-kun: *Malleus looks insulted. Because he is insulted.* Sheepy: Misyr: Are you plotting my death?! Arsé-kun: Primo: I can plot all I'd like, but it doesn't mean it'll work on you! I'd need a bunch of deez anyway.. Sheepy: Misyr: These what? Arsé-kun: Primo: Deez nuts! *Without giving Misyr time to respond, he sends 13 and 14 back to campus! Whoosh.* Sheepy: Misyr:?! Arsé-kun: *Merlin quietly chuckles. he's still dead exhausted and wilted, but deez nuts is always funny* Sheepy: Misyr:....I don't even know what he was referring to... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Deez nuts. Sheepy: Misyr: Eh...Whatever. Are you better now? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ehhh Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Unfortunately for me and my business, you're back. How tragic. Sheepy: Misyr: Ouch! Sheepy: Misyr: Everyone's so cruel today! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm awful every day. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Now shut up and sit down. I already know the order. Does the mop you're carrying want one too? It'll go on your tab. Sheepy: Misyr: Is he even alive? Arsé-kun: Merlin: nope Sheepy: Misyr: Ehhhh? I put my robes on a dead guy? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... ... I'm talking to you, grampa! Sheepy: Misyr: Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm alive! I'm tired but I'm alive! Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, good! If you weren't, well... Sheepy: Misyr: Grandpa'd kill me! ... Not that he can, of course! A final boss always comes back, no matter how many times he's put down! Ahahahaahahaa! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He even said he couldn't! Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, exactly! Sheepy: Misyr: That's the strength of a demon lord! Sheepy: Misyr: Anyway, do you want anything, Merlin? I'm going to pick up the tab just this once! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. I'll take the same thing you get. Sheepy: Misyr: Great! I'll get the usual! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Right. *he turns to the side and turns on a coffee pot. its purple.* Sheepy: Misyr: How are you feeling, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I feel like if I tried to cast a spell, I'd probably die. Sheepy: Misyr: Oof. Why don't you take the day off and relax? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I'm gonna. Still don't get why that happened, though.. Sheepy: Misyr: No clue! Sheepy: Misyr: I'm no fancy wizard! Sheepy: Misyr: I'm a demon lord! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then what'd you teach Max?? Sheepy: Misyr:....Eh? Sheepy: Misyr:.... Sheepy: Misyr: Uhhhh... Sheepy: Misyr: W....well. You know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did you at least teach more than Malleus? Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, of course! Sheepy: Misyr: I taught the basics and stuff! But you know how it is. Demon kings don't exactly have much they can teach to wizards. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? You were a demon even back then? Sheepy: Misyr: I was always a demon... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Huh. Sheepy: Misyr: I mean, it'd be weird if I wasn't! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Would it?? Sheepy: Misyr: What, have you ever heard of someone becoming a demon before? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, I know a dude turned into an angel once... It's probably similar? Sheepy: Misyr:...Eh? Humans can just turn into angels? That's really weird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I said once! I'm not sure if it's happened more than that. Sheepy: Misyr: Man, I wonder if he ever turned back? …No, I don’t think something like that is possible… Arsé-kun: Merlin: I doubt it... But I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Misyr: Oh well. Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, Wilbur, do you know anything about that? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Yes. I read the Bible once for school. One prophet was turned into an angel instead of dying. Sheepy: Misyr: Scary... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: As for turning back from something else, well, you need research. Sheepy: Misyr: Research... Well, it's not something that affects me, but what if I die and become an angel? I'd need it then. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I said what I said. Sheepy: Misyr: I'm not so good at research... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Can you read? Or do they not have books in hell? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh... the latter! Real hard to get your hands on one. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: You must not get a signal in hell either. Sheepy: Misyr: I don't. That's why I leave my phone here! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: If it gets stolen, I don't want to hear about it. Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, hey! Don't let it get stolen! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It isn't my responsibility. Sheepy: Misyr: But you're my friend! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: What have I said about being informal on my work hours? Sheepy: Misyr: Being formal is tough for demon kings like me! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I'm going to borrow another professor's lie detector and plug you into it just to see how fast it catches on fire. I'll give it twenty seconds. Sheepy: Misyr: Eh?! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: But yes, fine. I'll make sure it isn't stolen by anyone malevolent. Sheepy: Misyr: Thanks! Sheepy: Misyr: By the way, don't worry if I get any calls. Sheepy: Misyr: I don't need to answer them! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Sure. Arsé-kun: *Enter two children and the ugliest bug you've ever seen in your life.* Sheepy: Misyr:......... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ........... Sheepy: Satoru: Hi, Wilbur. We found a bug. Sheepy: Misyr:.....B-....B...Big... Arsé-kun: Duncan: It's real big! What'd we do wit it? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... Hand it over please. Sheepy: Satoru: If you let go of it, it'll fly away, so be careful, okay? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I will be careful. It won't escape. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur gets +1 bug. awful* Sheepy: Misyr:...It's..so... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Misyr, come outside with me. I need you for this. Sheepy: Satoru: Do you know what it is? I think it's a fruit fly. Sheepy: Misyr: Y-yeah, I can do that... Arsé-kun: Wilbur: It's a Shan, and it is very dangerous. Don't let them near your head if you can help it. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I won't. Sheepy: *Misyr hesitantly heads outside* Arsé-kun: *Wilbur also goes outside, with the Shan* Sheepy: Misyr:..Yeah? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: When I let go, send it into orbit. Sheepy: Misyr: Can do! Arsé-kun: *Wilbur throws the bug into the air!* Sheepy: *Misyr slams his magic piano and nukes the bug! Where there was once a bug is now a pile of dust and nothing more.* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Beautiful. Destroyed without grandfather needing to get involved. Sheepy: Misyr: That was disgusting...! Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Very. I need to wash ten times over now. Sheepy: Misyr: And don't touch me for a while, alright? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Can do. Your coffee should be ready, so you can handle that. Arsé-kun: Duncan: ---And that's why I think spoder minecraf should be in smash bros! Sheepy: Satoru: What's Smash Bros? Sheepy: *Misyr heads over to the coffee pot and obtains his coffee!* Sheepy: Misyr: Gosh... Bugs should never be allowed to grow that big.... Arsé-kun: Duncan: It's a game! Fight people! Sheepy: Satoru: Do I have to? Arsé-kun: Duncan: No? Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Sheepy: Satoru: I won't, then. Sheepy: Satoru: Why do you want to fight? Arsé-kun: Duncan: I don't! It's in the game! You asked what it was! Sheepy: Satoru: Oh. Okay. I understand now. Sheepy: Satoru: By the way, Wilbur. We found that Shan in my dad's flowers. Is that concerning? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: That is concerning. Was it just the one? Sheepy: Satoru: No, we just chose to only take one. Sheepy: Satoru: After all, if you take every bug, they'll eventually go extinct. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: .... ..... Duncan, run the shop for me. I have to report that to Carter. *and he leaves before Duncan can finish processing that sentence* Arsé-kun: Duncan: ? ??? Huh? I get the tall chair now? Welp, bokay! *and he clambers onto Wilbur's behind-counter stool* I'm the cappytain now! Sheepy: Satoru: We should have menrioned that sooner, I guess. Sheepy: Misyr: There's more than one....? Hrk... I hate bugs... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And we can't just nuke 'em... Sheepy: Misyr: We can, but the damages will be expensivw. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Carefully! Sheepy: Misyr: Careful and Misyr don't go together! Arsé-kun: Duncan: Who's Care-full?? Sheepy: Misyr: Not me! Sheepy: Misyr: Three is overly so, though. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You and Makenna.. I at least try to be! Sheepy: Misyr: Isn't that boring for you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sometimes... But I'd rather not hurt someone for no reason. Sheepy: Il: --It's just too bad that otome game creators don't seem to truly understand the demand for merch, so they produce small quantities and it's bought up almost instantly. Arsé-kun: Raph: *looking fucking dead inside* Just make your own. Sheepy: Il: It's not the same! Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah, yeah... *he spots Misyr* Well! Good morning, america! Sheepy: Il: Part of the value of merch is the hunt for it. I hunted down every piece of Lupin merch. My Lupin shrine would feel empty without them. Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, you've arrived! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm here, I'm queer, lets get this shit in gear! *fingergun x2* Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, I learned something scary today from Merlin! Arsé-kun: Raph: Horrible! Lay it on me! Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, him! Why would he? He liked the upgrade. Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Arsé-kun: Raph: "You can't get a sore wrist from writing when you're not human!" Or so he said. Sheepy: Misyr: You mean he never looked down at himself and thought he was hideous? Or mourned the loss of his humanity? Hmmm... A demon lord like me can't really understand... Arsé-kun: Raph: Can't answer that! Confidentiality and all that! Arsé-kun: Raph: One day I'll see you as a demon lord! And it'll be cool! Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Arsé-kun: Raph: Demons always look cool... So you gotta look cool! Sheepy: Misyr: This is how I always look... Arsé-kun: Raph: Cool! Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha! Of course! I am a demon lord, after all! Arsé-kun: Duncan: Doc Watsin says you're full of trash! I've heard it! Sheepy: Misyr: Well, I eat other things too! Arsé-kun: Duncan: You eat trash??? Sheepy: Misyr: Well, the sweets that go with coffee are basically trash, right? Arsé-kun: Duncan: They're oaky... Sheepy: Misyr: Nutritionally, they're trash! Arsé-kun: Raph: I can confirm that. Doesn't stop most people. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Well, uh, umm! I bet you're... Nutty-ally bad too! Sheepy: Misyr: Yes, I am! Sheepy: Misyr: No time to eat when I'm back in my home world. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Wh! You weren' supposed to agree! Wil gets paid for being sassy! I can't do his jowb if you jus' let me say it! Sheepy: Misyr: So whatever I eat when I'm here is what I get for the day! Sheepy: Misyr: But it's true... Arsé-kun: *Raph staring at Misyr.jpeg* Sheepy: Misyr: Yes? What is it? Arsé-kun: Raph: So you're barely eating at all? Sheepy: Misyr: Well... Sheepy: Misyr: You could say that! Arsé-kun: *Hard, doctorly staring* Arsé-kun: Raph: You gotta do something about that. Sheepy: Misyr: You know how work is! Arsé-kun: Raph: You're here during the day. You can get food! Sheepy: Misyr: I don't really stray very far.... Sheepy: Misyr: But if you insist! Arsé-kun: Raph: And don't make me turn it into doctor's orders! Sheepy: Misyr: Scary... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Man.... All this talk's making me hungry, but I can't be bothered. Sheepy: Misyr: You should eat! You nearly drowned. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I want to! But I don't wanna go all the way to the pizza place... Arsé-kun: Raph: he What Sheepy: Misyr: Nearly drowned in the ocean. Arsé-kun: Raph: Wha'?! How? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sounds like you've done that before, doc. *he decides to order a pizza anyway. fuck it!* Sheepy: Misyr: I did it and was fine. Arsé-kun: Raph: You're not most. You're a demon lord. Sheepy: Misyr: Yes, true! Arsé-kun: *in the background, a wrecked toaster gets dunked into the trash by Duncan. this is not important* Sheepy: Misyr: That's why I'm so dangerous! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: *Raph starts to say something, but stops himself. There are kids here!* Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, pizza, huh. I've never really tried it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What the Fuck. Sheepy: Misyr: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How? Sheepy: Misyr: They don't have it in my home world! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sucks! Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, it does! Arsé-kun: *duncan and satoru defeat a minor eldritch thing in the kitchen using kitchen utensils. this is also completely irrelevant* Sheepy: Misyr: I feel like I can't stray too far from the cafe in case something comes up. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's fair. I've done work down there.. Sometimes things happen the second you stop looking. Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, exactly! Sheepy: Misyr: And I've gotta be a good influence, so being late would look bad. Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, what was your experience? Arsé-kun: Raph: Hm? Sheepy: Misyr: Working there. Arsé-kun: Raph: It wasn't bad. I only really did stuff at the higher levels. Brought souls down sometimes, y'know. But occasionally I had to make sure one demon was still chained up. Didn't enjoy that. Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Chained up? Why would they chain up demons down there? Arsé-kun: Raph: That's what I thought, but nooo. Humanity learning science was too big a sin back then or something. Arsé-kun: Raph: I still got half a mind to break in and ruin the jail. Sheepy: Misyr: Wow... Too big of a sin even for there... Arsé-kun: Raph: But since we're all fallen angels now... I really wanna commit a break-out crime. Sheepy: Il: Lupin does that a few times. Arsé-kun: Raph: yes thank you Il Sheepy: Il: I think I've learned from him how to do it... Sheepy: Il: No jail nor chains could ever hold me. Sheepy: Misyr: Well, I have to pass on that. That'd be a bad look for me! Arsé-kun: Raph: Fair enough! Sheepy: Il: What would Lupin do in this situation... Sheepy: Misyr: As a fictional character, not much. Sheepy: Il: ...One moment. *he pulls out his phone* Arsé-kun: *Il was sent a text message!* Sheepy: *Il checks it!* Arsé-kun: *It's a selfie from someone we've only seen on Il's merch! Big grins and peace signs from on top of a fence. Someone thinks they're hot shit.* Sheepy: Il: What a coincidence... Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Il's #2 Favorite Ikemen] Do you see it? The ghost behind you? Arsé-kun: *A minute or two passes before he gets a reply* Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] Don't do that, please. I genuinely believed there was a ghost present when there is not! Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] The selfie you sent has one. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] It looks like campus security. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] That's because it is. The poor man has been waiting for a new arrival all afternoon. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] So it isn't a ghost. I see. By the way, how do I break someone out of jail? Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] Is this information you genuinely need, or are you asking based on situational context? Sheepy: Il: Raphael. Sheepy: Il: Is information on jailbreaking needed? Arsé-kun: Raph: What? No. I could break it myself if I really wanted to. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] Raphael says it's not needed. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] Well, good. Each jail is different. I'd need to look into it to make useful suggestions. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] I know nothing about it either. Sheepy: Il: Lupin says he can't make useful suggestions. Arsé-kun: Raph: ...? Sheepy: Il: What? Arsé-kun: Raph: I'd assume so. It's in Hell anyway. Sheepy: Misyr: I mean... Him being fictional may have something to do with it...! Arsé-kun: Raph: Perhaps. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] Are you fictional? Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] Misyr says you're fictional, even though he's friends with Holmes and Watson. Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] Have you informed him that I am not? Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] No. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] Should I? Arsé-kun: Lupin: [text: to Il] You may want to remedy that. I've got to get back to travelling, I'll text when I'm in a safe zone. Sheepy: Il: [Text: to Lupin] I will. Good luck. Stay safe. Sheepy: Il: Lupin says to tell you that he's real. Sheepy: Misyr:...Hold on. Were you not referring to the otome guy? Sheepy: Misyr: The otome guy isn't real... Sheepy: Il:....But if Holmes and Watson are real, Lupin is real, too. Sheepy: Misyr: Ehh. I'll just ask Watson later... Sheepy: Misyr: Anyway, Merlin, maybe you should try going home to relax after what happened. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'mean I gotta move? Sheepy: Misyr: Well... You can't sleep here, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... Fair. Bedi would have my head if I did.. Sheepy: Misyr: Right. Exactly. Sheepy: Misyr: So go on home before you sleep here on accident! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Awww, fine.. Here. *he throws Misyr's cloak to Misyr. kobe* Sheepy: *Misyr puts his cloak back on. He no longer looks like a wetted down fluffy cat.* Arsé-kun: *WYM, according to Raph he looked hot. Not that he'll say it* Sheepy: *Eventually, Merlin ends up home!* Arsé-kun: *With pizza. because of course he does* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, Merlin, you're back... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm back. The ocean's cold this time of year! Sheepy: Bedi:...Ocean? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, it's pizza time! Hope you guys haven't eaten yet! Sheepy: Bedi: I haven't. However... Griflet is in a bad mood. Please be wary of him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Somethin' happen? Sheepy: Bedi: According to him, the problem is that he can't swim. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That IS problematic. Arsé-kun: Kay: *coming out of his own room* Sounds like shit. Arsé-kun: Kay: *he knocks on Grif's door* You want help, Moron? Sheepy: Bedi: He's looking for a long stick. Arsé-kun: Kay: What's he need a stick for when he's got a party member with longer arms? Sheepy: Grif: *He opens the door, holding a stolen lance* Worry not, Kay. I found it. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm still gonna join you. I don't trust you not falling in like a dumbass. Sheepy: Grif:....Uh. Arsé-kun: *Kay forced himself into the party without your consent!* Sheepy: Grif: Don't slow me down, then. My charge is currently drowning. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why didn't you say so?! Sheepy: Grif: I would never interrupt someone when they're speaking. Arsé-kun: Kay: Learn to! And get going! Sheepy: *Grif drags Kay out* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Huh. So I guess I'm not the only one to bone myself over today. Sheepy: Bedi: So it seems.... Are you okay, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. Tired as hell, but I'll live. I got some things to reconsider. Sheepy: Bedi: You do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah. Sheepy: Bedi: I can help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah you can! ^^ Sheepy: Bedi: What are you mulling over? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I always thought Malleus didn't care. I've said it a bunch of times- Bastard that couldn't be assed to teach me anything. Sheepy: Bedi: Did he subvert expectations? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I called for help and he was the first or second one there.. I dunno if he or Misyr got there first. Sheepy: Bedi: So that's good news! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And if I take chat messages into consideration! We get stuff like... *he pulls out his phone and checks the chatroom* "You KNOW what happens when I go to help! I've already killed Morne, I'm not doing that again!"... Arsé-kun: *Merlin thinks about this* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...Huh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] @Merlin Are you still drowning or do you not need help anymore? If you're dead don't worry about responding Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] What help you were!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] I was sleeping, also I was working Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] Anyway, you're interrupting me reconsidering my life views, do you want anythin' else while I'm here, gramps? Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] The next time you drown, can you do it while I'm awake so I can rescue you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] o yea ill make sure to schedule it next time for you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: [chat] By the way, I don't like going too far from home, so you can drown in my wife's lake next time, okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: [chat] :V Sheepy: Bedi: Wow... The saddest part is, it doesn't seem like anyone else has commented on it. Perhaps they haven't seen it until now. Although, I'm left with the mystery how one can sleep and work at the same time... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, yeah. They got lives too. I was hoping more would comment, though.. Sheepy: Bedi: Well... I'm very happy you're safe! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me too! We'll figure out the mystery of how I ended up in buttfuck nowhere from teleporting later! Sheepy: Bedi: I hope so. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just wanted to pop up next to Artair... What went so wrong? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... That is troubling... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah! I've backfired before, but not like that! Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe something is happening in the environment around you that's affecting magic generally. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I hope not! Arsé-kun: *I think it's been long enough now for Kay and Grif to get to where they need to go!* Sheepy: Grif: Here's where he was drownibg. Sheepy: Grif: As you can see, he's still drowning. Dr. Romani, Kay will get you out. Worry not. Unfortunately, you have entered a domain that I cannot cross with my current stats, and therefore you are, as they say, "up a creek without a paddle". However, if you need a paddle, you can have this lance. Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't give a shit that Grif was speaking, and has already jumped into the water to help.* Arsé-kun: *The next part goes swimmingly well, pun fully intended. Kay is able to grab onto and help this Dr. Romani, who fortunately had not actually drowned yet.* Arsé-kun: *And then Kay stares up at Grif because how the FUCK does he climb out of this lake hole with another human being* Sheepy: Grif: .... Sheepy: Grif: *He holds out the lance into the water* Here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Thanks for noticing! *he grabs onto it with his free hand* Sheepy: Grif: Good job, Kay. Sheepy: Grif: Are you okay, Dr. Greece? Arsé-kun: Romani: ... .... What? Sheepy: Grif: I asked if you were okay. Sheepy: Grif: My swimming stat is 1. Therefore, I needed to get help to rescue you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut up and let the man speak, dumbass. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... I will. Arsé-kun: Romani: I should be okay. I've been through worse! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Let's go to the campus together. Arsé-kun: Romani: Yes please! I'd like to make it this time! Sheepy: *Grif guides Romani to the campus!* Sheepy: Grif: Here we are. Arsé-kun: Romani: Wow! This place looks great!! *he's genuinely impressed* Sheepy: Grif: Uh.... If you say so. I don't really pay much attention to that. Sheepy: Grif: The staff here who are in charge of such things work hard to make it look nice. Sheepy: Grif: The janitor is Nyarlathotep - my dad's uncle. The gardener is named Eiji. Arsé-kun: Romani: Your... A janitor?? How? Sheepy: Grif: No. I'm a guard. Nyarlathotep is the janitor. I break things and he cleans up the shards. Sheepy: Grif: He takes great pride in his work. Arsé-kun: Romani: Um, I guess I wasn't very clear. Let me try again. Sheepy: Grif: Go ahead. Arsé-kun: Romani: He's okay with being a janitor for mortals? Sheepy: Grif: Well, of course. If people litter enough, they'll get sick and die, right? Sheepy: Grif: If the humans all died off, he wouldn't have anyone to torment. Uncle loves humans. He is probably the most human of any of us. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, Randy probably wouldn't let him stay here if he didn't do some work around here. So, he takes multiple jobs, but the one he focuses on the most is his janitor job. Arsé-kun: Romani: That makes sense... Guess I shouldn't judge. Sheepy: Grif: No, judge him heavily. Arsé-kun: Romani: I'm getting mixed messages here! Sheepy: Grif: Well, he's the most human of any of us. Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though he's driven by a sense of duty or a twisted sense of kindness. Arsé-kun: Romani: Huh. I guess that makes sense. Arsé-kun: *Grif gets a quest update!* Sheepy: *Grif looks at the quest update* Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon, popup* Complete the mission by finishing the escort! Target location: Hospital. No enemies are detected. Sheepy: Grif: Dad says to bring you to the hospital. Arsé-kun: *Romani decides to stop asking questions.* Arsé-kun: Romani: That's where I'll be working, so that'd be ideal! Sheepy: *Grif leads him to the hospital!* Sheepy: Grif: ...Here we are. Arsé-kun: Romani: Thank you! Sheepy: Grif: Just be careful. Sheepy: Grif: There's some patients who live there who are.......... Sheepy: Grif: Well, you'll see. Arsé-kun: Romani: Thanks for the warning. Um. I'll pay you next time I see you! Sheepy: Grif: Uh. This is my job. But okay. Arsé-kun: Romani: I'll tip you when my wallet isn't totally soaked through. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, thanks. Sheepy: Grif: Have fun. See you later. Arsé-kun: *Romani waves to Grif and drags himself inside the hospital. Finally. He made it.* Sheepy: *There's a young girl there to greet him!* Sheepy: Girl: Are you a patient? Arsé-kun: Romani: I may as well be at this rate, but no, I'm just really late. Sheepy: Girl: ... Oh! You're the new doctor? You look like you could blend in with the patients. I'm sure that'll make them feel more at home! Arsé-kun: Romani: *sheepish* I'm not usually this bad. I might've fell in a lake on the way. Sheepy: Girl: Lake? Well, that explains a lot... Sheepy: Girl: Well, it looks like Daddy's busy right now, so he can't greet you! Don't worry, I can show you around. I'm Iris Watson, by the way! Arsé-kun: Romani: That'd be great. I'm Romani Archiman. Look forward to working with you and your dad. ^^ Sheepy: Iris: Looking forward to working alongside you, too, Archie! ... Oh, Holmsies will visit on occasion to harass you, but it's because he's lonely. Don't push him away too harshly or he'll mope in the corner and think everyone hates him, okay? Arsé-kun: Romani: I wouldn't mind the company! Sheepy: Iris: Well, I hope that'll be true. Sheepy: *Something, or someone, suddenly launches at Romani! A sword whizzes past his head, cutting off a bit of his hair!* Arsé-kun: *Romani yelps and jumps to the side a little late* Sheepy: *Okita tilts his head some and puts his sword over his shoulder. There's blood on his face mask.* Sheepy: Okita: You're really slow, aren't you? I could've taken your head off in a flash. Wouldn't that be a sight! Arsé-kun: Watson: Don't torment the new hires, Okita! Sheepy: Iris: We keep telling you you can't do that, Kitty! Sheepy: Okita: Ahhh, you never let me have any fun, do you? "Don't stab people, Okita"... "Take your medicine, Okita"... Ah, meddlers like you.. What a pain in the- *he starts coughing* Arsé-kun: Watson: Meddlers like us are keeping you alive, you walking TB timebomb. Sheepy: Okita: I've had worse. I would've recovered by myself if that demon hadn't caught on to my symptoms and dragged me here. Arsé-kun: Watson: ... Look, just let us speak. If we're here speaking, we're not there to watch you. Sheepy: Okita: You're right. I can go cause all sorts of problems. Sheepy: Okita: Well, see you! *he heads off* Arsé-kun: Watson: ... I'm very sorry about that. Sheepy: Iris: He's always like that. He's the physical bully and Lucan's the emotional bully! Arsé-kun: Watson: And unfortunately for us, they're friends. Sheepy: Iris: Yes... Arsé-kun: *brief pause for romani and watson to introduce themselves to each other, bt thats a monologue so heck u* Sheepy: Iris: Oh, the other doctors are... Sheepy: Iris: Raphie, Vicky, Westie, and Griffy. Griffy's on hiatus. Sheepy: Iris: You might not see him. Arsé-kun: Romani: I have a question. Sheepy: Iris: Yes? Arsé-kun: Romani: Where can I find a drier? *he kinda holds out his very wet coat* Sheepy: Iris: Oh! I can show you! Arsé-kun: Romani: That'd be appreciated! Sheepy: *Iris leads him there!* Sheepy: Iris: Here it is! Arsé-kun: Romani: Thank you! Sheepy: Iris: I'll leave you to that! Arsé-kun: Romani: Appreciate that! Sheepy: *Iris leaves to rejoin Watson* Arsé-kun: *Romani starts chucking everything into the drier, and then remembers he has stuff in his pockets. ggwp* Sheepy: *RIP* Arsé-kun: *This takes a while. Romani passes the time by replacing his bandages and checking his various wounds. None of ya business* Sheepy: *Worry not, Romani! Holmes is occupying his own time by sitting in the corner, moping.* Arsé-kun: Raph: *kazoo* We got a new staff member! Sheepy: Holmes: *He looks up at Raphael, looking extremely depressed* It's a beautiful day to die, isn't it, my friend? Arsé-kun: Griffin: *from who fucking knows where* DO YOU WANT ASSISTANCE?! Sheepy: Holmes: Ah... I couldn't make you waste your time on such a worthless task... If you avert your eyes, I'll fade into nothingness anyway. No friends. No life... Just a sad little trash heap, destined to be blown away by the wind. Arsé-kun: Watson: If I buy you a cinnamon roll, will that help? Sheepy: Holmes: You wouldn't do that. Not for me. Arsé-kun: *Watson leaves the scene. In the background, Kay is dragging Artair out with one hand, and holding a mass of moss with the other. Irrelevant* Arsé-kun: Raph: While we wait, pop those wings out if you can manage it. I wanna look 'em over. Sheepy: Holmes: *He pops his wings out!* Sheepy: Holmes: It's the only interesting thing about me anyway... Arsé-kun: Raph: It's not! It's just the newest one, and I'm concerned for your health. Arsé-kun: Griffin: AM I BEING IGNORED Sheepy: Holmes: Ah... To step in a puddle and wet your pants leg... To tear the paper towel in half on accident... Are there worse feelings? Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, those are the worst! Sheepy: Holmes: Go ahead and look them over. They aren't that interesting, but life is all about settling. Arsé-kun: Raph: Have you eaten today, pal? Sheepy: Holmes: No. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahhh... What's the point... It's dark and cloudy, just like my heart... Arsé-kun: *Iris has been lifted into the air by an invisible force. thanks griffin* Sheepy: *Iris isn't surprised because this is normal for her.* Arsé-kun: *Watson comes back, and tosses Holmes a cinnamon roll.* Sheepy: Holmes: *Siiiiiigh* Have you experienced it, Watson? Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes. You need energy. Sheepy: Holmes: The feeling of a day where everything goes wrong.. *He opens the cinnamon roll package and starts eating it* *between bites* Dropping your important pages in a puddle. *munch, munch* Tripping over a rock... Sheepy: Holmes:...Now that I think of it, that puddle seemed to be with me, every step ot the way. Sheepy: Holmes: Did it rain today...? *chew, chew* Arsé-kun: Raph: Nope. You'd better investigate that next time. I wanna see it too. Sheepy: Holmes: Even nature is against me... Sheepy: Holmes: It almost seemed like the puddle was laughing at me... Arsé-kun: *Romani is peering out, still replacing bandages, but clearly watching all this. Do Not Notice Me* Sheepy: Holmes: .......Wait. Puddles don't laugh. Arsé-kun: Watson: Are you sure it wasn't the security guards pet? Sheepy: Holmes:....... Sheepy: Holmes: I got bullied... By a pet puddle. Arsé-kun: Watson: Almost as bad as the janitor. Sheepy: Holmes:........ Arsé-kun: Raph: If you want good news, your wings have healed quite a bit already! Sheepy: Holmes: What? Oh, have they? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yep! When the feathers grow in, you might be able to take off! No guarantees and no roof jumping. Sheepy: Holmes: ...Roof...jumping? Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, it's easier to glide than to take off from the ground! That takes way more work. Sheepy: Holmes: Uh...Yes. I wouldn't want to fall, though. Arsé-kun: Raph: Understandable and have a nice day! Sheepy: Holmes: That's what would drive me not to do roof jumping. Sheepy: Holmes:....Thank you for the cinnamon roll. I feel better now. Arsé-kun: Watson: Please eat at LEAST once a day. I'm begging you. Sheepy: Holmes: I remembered something important and couldn't focus on food. Sheepy: Holmes: Yes... The important contents are on these documents... Oh, yes, I forgot. Sheepy: Holmes: The documents fell into the puddle. Arsé-kun: Watson: We have established this. Hand them over. Sheepy: Holmes: No... I mean... Sheepy: Holmes: The pages fell into the puddle. Sheepy: Holmes: They went into the puddle. Arsé-kun: Watson: Please tell me you made photocopies prior. Sheepy: Holmes:........ Arsé-kun: Watson: ..... ..... Sheepy: Holmes: Hmhmhm... Look at the time. Arsé-kun: *Iris has been put down. Fun's over* Arsé-kun: Griffin: This sounds like fun, but I'm going to go outside and yell at the sun for being here! And then throw knives at it when that doesn't work, because that makes sense. Sheepy: Holmes: How unfortunate! Wonder where the time went! Too bad! What documents? Did I mention documents? There's no documents! Sheepy: Iris: ...Oh, you're right! Why is the sun out? Arsé-kun: Watson: .... It's ten pm. Sheepy: Holmes: ...I don't have anything I need to do around this time. No, I mean... Arsé-kun: Kay: *from very far away* OY, FUCK OFF, YEW BIG BALL OF SHIT! Sheepy: Iris: Looks like someone else found it first! Arsé-kun: Watson: I wonder what it was. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmhmhm... Wouldn't you like to find out? Sheepy: Holmes: Lucky for you, I have photocopies... In my brain. Arsé-kun: Griffin: *taking Fran's glasses after noticing Fran was present, and then putting them on* What's the delete button? A 2 by 4? Sheepy: Fran: M-My glasses...! Sheepy: Holmes: It'll take more than a 2 by 4 to wipe my memories. Sheepy: Fran: I can't see very well without them, Dr. Griffin...! Arsé-kun: Griffin: Yes! That's what glasses are for. Sheepy: Fran: Yes, yes, you understand! So please return them! Arsé-kun: Griffin: You're going to need new ones by next month. *he puts them back on fran's face. Upside down.* Sheepy: Fran: Wh-what's that supposed to mean? Sheepy: *Fran fixes them* Arsé-kun: Griffin: What do you think it means? Sheepy: Fran: You'll be breaking them by messing with them? Arsé-kun: Griffin: Well! Now I want to! Sheepy: Fran: Or... Could my vision be getting worse?! Oh no, oh no... What a frightening thought.. Sheepy: Fran:...Or is it something else...? Arsé-kun: Griffin: You've worn them down so much that if I punched you, the lens would come out. Sheepy: Fran: Eh?! Sheepy: Fran: Well, you know... Arsé-kun: *Please disregard the Very Large Man carrying Okita like a football.* Sheepy: Fran: When you're focused on other things, it's hard to pay attention to how you treat your glasses. Sheepy: Okita: Adam...! Adam! How come you have to be so strict about the rules...? *Cough, cough* Arsé-kun: Adam: Because you would try to fight the fireball, and it would kill you. Sheepy: Okita: I'd kill it first. Arsé-kun: Adam: This is why I am not letting you. Sheepy: Okita: You're no fun, Adam! Arsé-kun: Adam: You have called me fun several times, and not fun several times. Arsé-kun: Romani: *what a group.* Sheepy: Okita: Ehhh.... Sheepy: Okita: Well, gee. That is a pickle, isn't it. Which are you? Arsé-kun: Adam: If I knew, I wouldn't comment. Sheepy: Okita:..... Sheepy: Okita: Well, you're fun! Sheepy: Okita: Bur sometimes you do unfun things. Arsé-kun: Adam: This makes sense. Arsé-kun: -Saturday, November 6th- Arsé-kun: *Good morning America! Kay's cooking. And there's a ball of moss just on the kitchen counter nearby. Unexplained natural phenomena.* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, you don't have to do that... *he spots the moss on the kitchen counter*... New ingredient? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nah. I wanna see somethin' after I can clarify some info with Grif. And fuck off, I'm cooking. Sheepy: Bedi: Really? It is edible. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hhhhuh. I wouldn't eat it. It came from off the path. Sheepy: Bedi: Hm.... Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh, whatever. I got more questions, like why there was a goddamn sun in the quad yesterday. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Arsé-kun: Kay: It was bright as day at like! Ten pm! Sheepy: Bedi: Strange... Arsé-kun: Kay: I told it to fuck off and didn't get lit on fire! I dunno, though. Arsé-kun: Kay: Kinda surprised Grif didn't fight it. He definitely had to see that. Sheepy: Grif: Of course I didn't. Sheepy: Grif: I don't chase death. Arsé-kun: Kay: Could've fooled me. Sheepy: Grif: Make sure to work on that, then. Arsé-kun: Kay: That wasn't... Okay, never mind. Sheepy: Grif: She won't hurt intentionally you if you leave her alone. Sheepy: Grif: She despises Uncle. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, good to know. Maybe she wanted to blast him into space. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe? Likely. Arsé-kun: Kay: Okay, next question. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Kay: What can your dad do again? Sheepy: Grif: Time and space things. Arsé-kun: Kay: Great. Does that include rewinding? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sick. See... *he picks up the moss ball. there's a bit of red metal at the bottom, and a very watered-down sticker* This is definitely my phone. Sheepy: Grif:.......Looks tasty... Arsé-kun: Kay: If you want moss, go back to the shitty slug crater and get some! Arsé-kun: Kay: Anyway! *he knocks on and opens the microwave, and then shoves the moss ball inside. Then he slams the door shut.* Oy, orb dad! Rewind this so it's useable again! Thanks! Sheepy: Grif:....? Arsé-kun: Kay: I want my phone working! Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: *In the background, Elyan is eating Kay's food. Chaotic/evil puddle* Arsé-kun: Kay: .. Hey!!! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Now that I think if it, Elyan separated from me yesterday while I was waiting for Dr. Roman. I wonder what he was up to. Arsé-kun: Kay: Dumb bird shit, probably. Sheepy: Grif: He's a water. Arsé-kun: Kay: But imitating a bird. Sheepy: Grif: By the way, did you see the claw marks in the door? It looked satisfying. Maybe I'll try that sometime. Arsé-kun: Kay: Please don't. Fou is bad enough. Sheepy: Bedi: Speaking of Fou, I'm going to the library to look at cats today. Arsé-kun: Kay: Again? Sheepy: Bedi: I never found Fou in any of the books. Sheepy: Bedi: You know how sometimes people will take in baby foxes or other wild animals thinking they're stray puppies? Arsé-kun: Kay: So do you finally accept that Fou isn't a goddamn cat? Sheepy: Bedi: I think he's a cat! Arsé-kun: Kay: What kind of fuckin' cat looks like a rejected squirrel? Sheepy: Bedi: But... there are big cats and small cats... Sheepy: Grif: Don't cats go... Sheepy: Grif: *He lifts his hands up in the nya style* Meooow, meoooowww. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he just wordlessly goes back to cooking* Sheepy: Grif: Myaaa. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know, like, Nya! Sheepy: Grif: Yes, yes. Like... Nyaaa. Sheepy: Bedi:.... Sheepy: Bedi: Well, maybe Fou just never learned cat very well. We can't fault him for that. Arsé-kun: Fou: Aaaa! Sheepy: Grif: Aaaaa! Arsé-kun: Fou: o.o Arsé-kun: Merlin: Myaaa~ Sheepy: Grif: Ah... I see. It's like "myaaaa". Sheepy: Grif: Myyaaaaa. Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyaow! Sheepy: Grif: It all changes so fast. Sheepy: Bedi: Anyway, if you saw a baby lion, you'd think it was a kitten, right? Sheepy: Grif: They look nothing alike. Sheepy: Bedi:.......If you saw a baby tiger, you'd think it was a kitten, right? Sheepy: Grif: Those also look nothing alike. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We'll find out! I can ask Mewlin if he knows, too. Sheepy: Bedi: Basically, it's possible that Fou is some cat species that normally lives off the path... It'd explain why there's only one Fou that we've seen. Sheepy: Bedi: Hopefully he does. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But that'd still be a cat. Arsé-kun: *Kay is suffering between all the meowing, Elyan trying to eat his food, Fou being here at all, and general stupid* Sheepy: Bedi: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who knows until we find out? *he goes to pet Fou. Fou bites him. Merlin doesn't care* Sheepy: Grif: The pawsibilities are endless. Arsé-kun: Kay: I want to commit hearing loss. Sheepy: Grif: I can help. Arsé-kun: Kay: Not literal. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... so picky. Arsé-kun: *Arthur enters scene through the wall, still half-asleep and looking kinda irritated* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Can you sirs keep it down please..? Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. *and he leaves again* Sheepy: Grif: Wow. I never knew that ghosts needed to sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me neither! Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Maybe he's catching up on his beauty sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's still the same thing. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong. Sheepy: Grif: A need for beauty sleep is born when uou grow low on beauty. Arsé-kun: Kay: Two birds, one stone. Who goddamn cares. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: I don't think so. Sheepy: *Eventually, Grif heads out to do his job.* Arsé-kun: *Another day of making sure nothing bad happens! Lets gooo!* Sheepy: Grif: Hmhm... It's feeling like a boring day... Arsé-kun: *Nothing unusual spotted yet!* Sheepy: Grif: How unfortunate... Arsé-kun: *Where is Grif going to start?* Sheepy: *The coffee shop, I guess* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Hi, Grif! Welcome to shop! Sheepy: Grif: Wow, Wil... You look just like Duncan today. Arsé-kun: Duncan: That's becauz I AM Duncan!! Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Are you sure? Arsé-kun: Duncan: Grif, stop bullying me! Sheepy: Grif: I'm not bullying you. I'm confused that Wil isn't here. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Me too! I dunno where he is! Sheepy: Grif: Concerning. Sheepy: Grif: Did he head out somewhere? Arsé-kun: Duncan: He tex'ed me yest'day and said he had somethin' to do! Okay but what about Now?? Sheepy: Grif: If I were Wil... what would I need to do... Arsé-kun: Duncan: Maybe Uncle Randy gave him sumthin super cool secret to do? Sheepy: Grif: We could ask Randy. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I wanna! But I can't leave! Then no one watchin' shop! Sheepy: Grif: I should tell him that Dr. Roman is safe anyway. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Bokay! Then do it! Sheepy: *Grif heads off to meet Randy!* Sheepy: Grif: Randy? Arsé-kun: Randy: Hmmm? *he's got the lights off in his office* Yes, Griflet? Sheepy: Grif: I safely escorted Dr. Roman here with only one minor incident. Arsé-kun: Randy: Good, good! Great work. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. One other thing. Sheepy: Grif: Wil went missing. Have you seen him? Sheepy: Grif: If you don't remember what he looks like, he has glasses. Arsé-kun: Randy: I know how he looks! I did see him yesterday. He reported the Shan infestation to me personally. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I wonder how Shans taste... Arsé-kun: Randy: Why don't you find out? Or maybe don't. That's up to you. Sheepy: Grif: I saw a butterfly and I ate it. The math professor is a good source for a snack. Sheepy: Grif: Oh, but I wouldn't want to take away from you the chance to try a Shan. You can take the first bite. Arsé-kun: Randy: I'd prefer not to! Sheepy: Grif: Don't be shy, Randy. Arsé-kun: Randy: Actually, no matter what you say, I... am NOT doing that. Sheepy: Grif: *He slams his hand down on the desk* So you just want to starve and DIE? Sheepy: Grif: By the way, speaking of death, Cthugha was outside yesterday. Arsé-kun: Randy: wHAT?! Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I let her be. Arsé-kun: Randy: She's the one who burnt down the nearby university and left it a mess! Why would anyone want her here?! Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure she's still hunting for Uncle at this very moment, so you'll be free of him for a while. But what will we do without a janitor... Arsé-kun: Randy: I'm sure we can be fine without a janitor for a few days. Yes, I'm sure it'll be okay. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you shouldn't judge her so harshly, Randy. Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure she was just trying to help them save on their heating bills. Arsé-kun: Randy: ..... Arsé-kun: Randy: Please take this seriously. She could very easily kill a large population of students by virtue of being here. Sheepy: Grif: Let's send Uncle out to bait her away. Arsé-kun: Randy: And kill my janitor? Germain would be heartbroken. Sheepy: Grif: He can come back. Sheepy: Grif: He's like a cockroach. He never dies. Arsé-kun: Randy: I'm sure you could convince her some other way to leave. Sheepy: Grif: ....... Sheepy: Grif: Hm.... Sheepy: Grif: I know. Sheepy: Grif: "In return for leaving, I'll give you Uncle". Arsé-kun: Randy: Good luck making him agree with that! Sheepy: Grif: No need for agreement. Sheepy: Grif: Well. Any better ideas? Arsé-kun: Randy: Oh, why not lead her to Hast--- He causes problems as well. They can combat each other instead. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: But I like Uncle. Arsé-kun: Randy: He can't mess with your friends if he is dead. Sheepy: Grif: I can either send her after a troublesome uncle I like or a troublesome uncle I dislike... Arsé-kun: Randy: I only have bad ideas remaining, but you're getting them anyway. Sheepy: Grif: Go on. Arsé-kun: Randy: She doesn't like any Outer God. So any older than good ol' Cthulhu are targets. So if the big guy decides to show up, let him deal with it. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You're so much less formal when it involves trying to convince me to do things you very easily can do yourself. Arsé-kun: Randy: I am... Not personally approaching her or Aza. I'm only human. Sheepy: Grif: You approach me and I could dismember you with ease. Arsé-kun: Randy: You came into my office... Sheepy: Grif: Because I work for you. Arsé-kun: Randy: So you won't dismember me. You'd lose your job and you'd be kicked out. Sheepy: Grif: You approach Uncle despite him being generally chaotic. Arsé-kun: Randy: He approaches me. Sheepy: Grif: Then have Grandpa and Cthugha approach you. Arsé-kun: Randy: I'd prefer not to! Sheepy: Grif: And I'd rather not fight her. I know I'll lose. Arsé-kun: Randy: Then don't! Just talk to her! Ask what she wants! Just don't tell her not to do anything, because that's basically an invitation on a silver platter! Sheepy: Grif: I suppose I have to... Arsé-kun: Randy: Too demanding? I'm... That's on me. I've been working awfully late lately. Arsé-kun: Randy: You don't have to do it immediately, but please find time to at least find out why she was here. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I'll think abour dealing with Cthugha. Finding Wil is more important. Arsé-kun: Randy: Yes, right. Him. Sheepy: Grif: You've seen him, haven't you? Where is he? Arsé-kun: Randy: He was with me for a bit after his report, and then he left my office. I can't exactly give more than that. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Demanding and useless... Arsé-kun: Randy: If I knew where he was, I would tell you. Sheepy: Grif:.......If I were Wil, where would I be... He's not in the coffee shop... Arsé-kun: Randy: That's a concern. Was Duncan there at least? Sheepy: Grif: Of course. Arsé-kun: Randy: He could rebrand it to Duncan Donuts. Sheepy: Grif: We aren't just forgetting about Wil. Sheepy: Grif: I'll let Cthugha burn the campus down if I can't find him before she acts. Arsé-kun: Randy: .... I really did say that out loud. Yes, yes, he tends to spend time with Dr. West when he isn't there. Arsé-kun: Randy: I just told you where he probably is! Sheepy: Grif: Dr. Herb... Hm... And yet... Sheepy: Grif: If he were, he would have texted Duncan by now to ease his concerns. Arsé-kun: Randy: ... That's true. I do hope nothing bad has happened. Sheepy: Grif: If I talk to Herb, he might know where Wil went.. Arsé-kun: Randy: I recommend it. He'd know more of Wilbur's habits than I do. Sheepy: Grif: I'll be back with the information I find. Arsé-kun: Randy: I'll look forward to your return. I'll reach out and see if I can find anything. Sheepy: *Grif heads to Herb's office!* Sheepy: Grif: Herb? Arsé-kun: Herb: *from a different room* Oh, hold on, Griflet! Sheepy: *Grif waits* Arsé-kun: *Herb comes out and takes his safety glasses off* Arsé-kun: Herb: What can I do for you? I've got time to kill while I wait for my test results to come up. Sheepy: Grif: Wil disappeared. Have you seen him? Arsé-kun: Herb: Huh? Wilbur's missing? That does explain why he missed our appointment. I figured Duncan was just being stubborn. Sheepy: Grif: ...What? He never came here? Sheepy: Grif: ........... Sheepy: Grif: So where is he...? The last person who saw him then was Randy... Arsé-kun: Herb: He was supposed to. But he hasn't shown up. He's only an hour late, but still.. And Carter would have definitely sent him directly here. Sheepy: Grif: By the way. Have you had problems with your lights? Arsé-kun: Herb: Not that I'm aware of. Why? Sheepy: Grif: Randy's lights were all off. Sheepy: Grif: And yet, he was just sitting there... Arsé-kun: Herb: Nyar was probably there with him. Sheepy: Grif: I see. That must be why he was so insistent on me not sacrificing Uncle to Cthugha. Arsé-kun: Herb: I would insist on not doing it too if Nyar was breathing down my neck. Sheepy: Grif: Yes....true. Arsé-kun: Herb: Lets do this the easy way. Arsé-kun: Herb: Vual, anything? Arsé-kun: Yog: I was hoping I wouldn't be asked! Grandfather has been lurking around Randy's place, so I missed anything happening there!! I can't see through Eligor, so it must be nearby? Arsé-kun: Yog: Now don't ask me anything until my son is found, thank you!! Arsé-kun: *Synonyms: Panic, worry, OH NO.png,* Sheepy: Grif: I know where one is. Arsé-kun: Yog: I know where Duncan is as well. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I did my best. Arsé-kun: Yog: Please investigate the area around where Randolph lives. This includes off the path. Sheepy: Grif: Good idea. I'll do that. See you later, Herb. Sheepy: *Grif heads to the area around where Randy lives* Sheepy: Grif:....Wiiiiil? Sheepy: *Grif looks around* Arsé-kun: *Nothing unusual* Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: *Grif starts looking off the path* Arsé-kun: *Grif finds one of Yog's orbs! It's purple, so it must be Eligor.* Sheepy: Grif: Huh. Dad, you really adventured far from Wil. Sheepy: Grif: Wil must be nearby. Sheepy: *Grif looks around* Sheepy: Grif: Wiiiiillll.... Sheepy: Grif: You can't run forever.... Sheepy: *Grif continues looking around* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun: *Grif steps on something Suspiciously Squishy* Sheepy: *He looks down* Arsé-kun: *That's a tentacle he stepped on. It belongs to Wilbur.* Sheepy: Grif: How careless of you. *He picks Wilbur up like a sack of potatoes* Don't you know you shouldn't take a nap out here without a blanket? You'll catch a cold. Arsé-kun: *Wilbur fights back as much as the average bag of potatoes- That is to say, not at all.* Sheepy: Grif: You'll be late to your meeting with Herb. With how much life you're showing, he may dissect you by accident. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ...... *he raises his head slightly* Grif... Shut up. Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready, Wil? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ..... No. Let me die in peace. Sheepy: Grif: I'll bring you to Herb so he can do an autopsy. *He starts walking to Herb's office (?)* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Cause of death: I don't know, and I don't care. Sheepy: Grif: Why were you sleeping out here? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... um Arsé-kun: Wilbur: ... ...... oh no. Sheepy: Grif: Yes? Arsé-kun: Wilbur: I don't remember.. At all. That can't bode well... Sheepy: Grif: Let's ask Herb for help, then. *He heads to Herb's office!* Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Have fun with that. *he puts his head back down for a few moments, and then jolts back up* Wait, are my..?! Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: *One of Wil's tentacles lightly smacks Grif's cheek. That.* Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Yes. I stepped on one. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: They're out in public.... ... Well, if anyone not in the know asks, I got attacked. Sheepy: Grif: I feel so lacking, not having any myself... I bear no resemblance to Dad (dragon)... no wings, no horns, no tail... Yet, nothing to resemble Dad, either. Arsé-kun: Wilbur: Sucks. Wake me up when you get there. Sheepy: Grif: Right. I will. Sheepy: *Grif finally arrives at Herb's officr!* Arsé-kun: *Herb is sewing his coat collar when Grif comes in. He drops the needle* Sheepy: Grif: Hello. Arsé-kun: Herb: I'm glad you found him, but please explain? Sheepy: Grif: He was sleeping off the path. Dad even rolled away from him. How careless. Arsé-kun: Herb: He's hurt?? From what?? Sheepy: Grif: He doesn't remember. Arsé-kun: Herb: That's even more concerning..! Sheepy: Grif: It is? Arsé-kun: Herb: You're not bothered that your know-it-all brother was hurt and doesn't know what caused it? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm...I didn't notice he was hurt. Arsé-kun: Herb: You're hopeless. I would suggest we immediately bring him to get medical care, but not in this state, and especially not in broad daylight... Sheepy: Grif: You're a doctor, aren't you? Arsé-kun: Herb: I'm a biologist! Sheepy: Grif: Do an autopsy to see how he's hurt and then cure him. Arsé-kun: Herb: None of those things work that way!! Sheepy: Grif: Where should I put him? Arsé-kun: Herb: Right here, on the table. Sheepy: *Grif puts Wil down*. Sheepy: Grif: When I find who hurt him... I'll TEAR THEM TO SHREDS! Sheepy: Grif:...Yes. Arsé-kun: Herb: Yes, please. I'd love to study whatever shreds you leave behind..! Sheepy: Grif: Okay, I can do that. Arsé-kun: *[Quest added: R.I.P. and Tear! Find who- or what-ever injured Wilbur and DESTROY THEM!]* Arsé-kun: Herb: That does nothing to clarify the whodunit. *he puts a cushion under Wilbur's head and goes to check out the damages* Sheepy: Grif: Well, it gives me one idea. Sheepy: Grif: I'll just pummel Uncle until he tells me who he thinks it is. Arsé-kun: Herb: And if he lies? Sheepy: Grif: I'll pummel him more? Arsé-kun: Herb: What a waste of time that would be. Sheepy: Grif: Do you have an idea on where I should start? Arsé-kun: Herb: Where was he found? Start there. Sheepy: Grif: I was already there. Sheepy: Grif:.......... Arsé-kun: Herb: You're bound to find out eventually even if you don't try. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... You're a natural born detective, Herb. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try it. I did find Wil's orb around there. It must've fallen when he was attacked. Sheepy: *Grif eventually ends up at the coffee shop after searching and finding nothing* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Griiif! Didja find Wil?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Okay! Good!! Sheepy: Grif: He was attacked. I don't know by whom. He's with Herb right now. Arsé-kun: *Duncan makes a Noise. He isn't happy* Sheepy: Grif: Did you want to check on him? Sheepy: Grif: I can stay here while you do. Arsé-kun: Duncan: Yes! We got food in the back, don't eat it all! We close the shop at nine! Sheepy: Grif: Close the shop.... Sheepy: Grif: Hm, it's a bit big to do it, but I'll try. Arsé-kun: Yog: He means flipping the sign on the door, Griflet. People are not allowed in once it is closed. Sheepy: Grif: I understand now. I'll eviscerate anyone who tries to enter or leave. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... We'll work on it. Arsé-kun: *Duncan has left during this time. He wasn't seen, but the door did open and shut. Bye bud.* Sheepy: *Grif waits.* Arsé-kun: *not much happens. people that are usually at the shoppe are there. no oddities. none have any idea what happened to Wil. tragic* Sheepy: *Grif waits there, bored, and eating uncooked coffee beans.* Arsé-kun: *Grif thats how you get overcaffinated. You stop that* Sheepy: *Grif is bored and doesn't know that* Arsé-kun: *he fuckin gonna if he keeps this up* Sheepy: *To him they're just weird beans. If beans are good enough for Howard Philips Lovecraft they're good enough for Grif* Arsé-kun: *Duncan eventually returns around 9:30 pm. He remembered the human form this time* Sheepy: Grif: How is he? Arsé-kun: Duncan: He's okay! You can tell becuz the buildin's still up! :3c Sheepy: Grif: Well, that's good to hear. Sheepy: Grif: I closed fhe shop, so now you don't need to... Wait, I failed because I let you in. Arsé-kun: Duncan: I live here, dat's okay! Sheepy: Grif: Oh, okay. Sheepy: Grif: I'll head home then. Good night. Arsé-kun: Duncan: G'night! Bye! Sheepy: *Grif heads home!* Arsé-kun: *Grif gets back. Kay put a movie on and is doing homework during commercials.* Sheepy: Grif: Hi. I'm back. Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey. How'd work go? Sheepy: Grif: Wil got attacked. Sheepy: Grif: I don't know who did if. Sheepy: Grif: He's fine now. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeesh. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. It's distressing. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'll join you tomorrow and you can beat up whoever caused it. Sheepy: Grif: That works. Sheepy: Grif: Thanks. Good luck on your homework. Arsé-kun: Kay: Mmmmhm. Sheepy: *Grif goes to bed* Arsé-kun: *So early? Guess he and Arthur think alike. Anyway, nothing else fuckin happens.* Arsé-kun: -Sunday, November 7th- Sheepy: Aru: *She's hunting around the dorm room* Arsé-kun: Fou: ? *he starts following her around and getting in the way, as cats do* Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he's checking out something... Sheepy: Aru: Fou, have you seen Arthur? Arsé-kun: Fou: Nyao? Sheepy: Aru: I haven't seen him. I'm concerned. Arsé-kun: Fou: Foumm. Sheepy: Aru: What if he got lost? Arsé-kun: Fou: Mrrp? Sheepy: Aru: You're right. I should ask the others. Arsé-kun: *Fou headbutts her ankle. pet me* Sheepy: *Aru pets him!* Arsé-kun: *happy cat noise* Sheepy: Aru: Aaaarthuuuuur? Are you here? Arsé-kun: *... No answer. Maybe he went out. Maybe he's napping. Who knows?* Sheepy: Aru:....Well, I guess he has a life... It's not because I've disappointed him, right? Sheepy: Aru: Maybe I should look again later... Arsé-kun: Kay: The hell are you yellin' about? Sheepy: Aru: I can't find Arthur... Sheepy: Aru: Have you seen him? Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Aru: Where could he have gone...? Sheepy: Aru: What if he's lost somewhere? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't he supposed to be near the sword all the time? He's probably bein' a lazy bitch again. Sheepy: Aru: So he's just sleeping? Arsé-kun: Kay: Probably? Sheepy: Aru: It must be tiring work, keeping a ward up... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *mid-consuming more junk food* What ward? Sheepy: Aru: To keep the ghost out. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Sheepy: Aru:....Although... I don't feel it for some reason... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe he gave up with it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Right! Riiight! I had pictures! Hold on! *he puts his junk food down and runs out* Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Wonderful! Arsé-kun: *Merlin comes back with the photographs he took a few days ago and shuffles through them* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, neat! They're physical! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Apparently so! I forgot about it in favor of being in the ocean... I forgot about literal ghost pictures. I'm so upset *he said, upset* Sheepy: Aru: Can I see? Arsé-kun: *Merlin hands the pics over* Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Is that Mordred there? He... looks less like Arthur than I do. Sheepy: Aru: He's kinda scary... Too bad Arthur isn't awake to see this. Sheepy: Aru: Merlin, have you seen Arthur today? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I haven't! Sheepy: Aru: So maybe he is sleeping... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I got no idea! *he sits back down and... Realizes some of his food has been stolen and replaced with Kay's phone. Thanks Yog. You Bastard* Sheepy: Aru: Huh.... I don't think that's food, Merlin! Arsé-kun: *Kay takes it and checks his phone* Arsé-kun: *Upon activation, Kay's phone gets every single notification it missed. At once. That sure is a hell noise* Sheepy: Aru: What is that noise...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell itself. *he turns off the phone* Sheepy: Aru:...Oh! Kay! We could trade numbers now! Arsé-kun: *Kay turns it back on and it resumes regular behavior outside of having a bajillion notifs* Arsé-kun: *Clear all notifications* Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, yeah, we can! Sheepy: Aru: *She pulls up her number* Here's mine! Arsé-kun: Kay: Got it. Here. *he sends Aru a picture of Fou trying to eat Merlin's hair.* Sheepy: *Aru adds him as a contact* Sheepy: Aru: Wow... They really don't get along, do they? Sheepy: Aru: But they look so similar. Sheepy: Aru: If Merlin was an animal, he'd be a Fou. Or an axolotl. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd be a fluffy ass raccoon! Sheepy: Aru:.......*she stares at Merlin for a bit*..... Sheepy: Aru: With bunny ears, you'd just be Fou! Sheepy: Aru: There's something about humans and their pets looking like each other after a while, right? But I don't see Bedi in him at all. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I don't know. Sheepy: Aru: That means you're Fou's real human! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't want it! Sheepy: Aru: Really? I think Fou's cute.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He loves terrorizing me! All the time! Sheepy: Aru: Maybe that's why you look like him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely not! *he goes to eat again... And gets nothing this time.* Sheepy: *Where did his food go? Well, Bedi is eating something that suspiciously looks like his food...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Guess I'll starve. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies. You hadn't touched it for a few minutes so I assumed you were done. Arsé-kun: *Merlin lays down on the floor miserably. Fou starts attacking his hair* Sheepy: Aru: I wonder if Fou can sniff out Arthur… Arsé-kun: *Fou looks at Aru, and then looks at the window. Ominous* Sheepy: Aru: …? Sheepy: Aru: He’s out? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Aru: Hmmm… Sheepy: Aru: I hope he comes back soon. Sheepy: *Meanwhile... A skilled pianist plays relaxing music on a large piano, sitting in an expansive ball room. The yellow-white walls are adorned with paintings. On the table is sitting a collection of fancy food fit for a king. A large dance floor is in the middle of the room, with a floor shiny enough one could see their own reflection.* Arsé-kun: *In the back of the large room, there is a set of stairs, lined with white ribbons and a powder-pink mink carpet. Here, there is a single young woman in a ball gown, watching over everything. She seems pleased with all the people who have come to her party.* Sheepy: *And her guests seem so happy, too! They're chatting by the food table, dancing on the dance floor, inspecting the paintings, and listening to the nice music. How fun!* Arsé-kun: *Whatever this party is for, it seems unaffected by the outside world. This genuinely seems to be a ball with no eldritch tendencies. A real rarity these days.* Arsé-kun: *And look! The participants are even all wearing proper suits and dresses for this event! This must have taken forever to plan.* Sheepy: *The pianist focuses entirely on his work, not stopping to interact with the guests. How devoted.* Arsé-kun: *The girl on the stairs seems pleased by the status of everything. She starts to descend down the stairs, and a nearby gentleman decides to assist her. She gratefully accepts, despite a very brief moment of confusion.* Arsé-kun: *The Princess Descends! Will she find her Prince? Stay tuned for more [EXPUNGED] on MNC!* Sheepy: *Perhaps! There's many potential princes to choose from!* Arsé-kun: *There are so many! Who here will catch her eye? Who knows?* Sheepy: *Maybe the redheaded punk with a heart of gold? Or the shy glasses wearing purple haired man? Or the sunglasses-wearing blond with a prickly personality? Maybe even someone else...* Arsé-kun: *The white-suited blond man? The tall gray man? The energetic brunette? What a hard decision..* Arsé-kun: *Maybe the long haired man that's performing magic? He's kinda cute..* Sheepy: *The energetic brunette is currently pouting because he lost something important to him. He's looking under the table. Good luck.* Arsé-kun: *...Oooh, but the musician is also pretty handsome.* Sheepy: *Perhaps the right greeting could tear his attention from his piano.* Arsé-kun: *The princess stops to think of a proper greeting.* Arsé-kun: *Perhaps she'll walk up to him and say...-* Arsé-kun: *A bloodcurdling scream rings out! For a moment, everyone- and everything- completely stops.* Sheepy: *The man who helped the princess rushes to her side! He'll protect her from the cause of the scream!* Arsé-kun: *She grabs onto his arm in abject horror. What happened?!* Arsé-kun: princess: ... You there! Tall sir noble! May I make a request for you to investigate pretty please? Sheepy: *The vanity's mirror is shattered and the bookcases are knocked over. On the walls are claw marks and bloody text, stating various messages such as "LOOK AT ME" and "TRAITOR". In the middle of the room is a bloody body.* Sheepy: Tall Man: A dead body... That's right... It's my job to reap its soul. Ah, I was having so much fun it slipped my mind. Arsé-kun: *The Tall Man is unaware of the growing shadow behind him...* Sheepy: Tall Man: Ahahaha...Ahahahaha! To think you'd just throw yourself into Death's lap... Truly, you're as foolish as M-- Arsé-kun: **BANG!** Sheepy: *Back at the ballroom, the pianist is clearly frightened!* Arsé-kun: *A few moments of silence pass... Before the chatter starts up again, seemingly unfazed by the turn of events.* Arsé-kun: princess: Let's continue on, dear nobles..! *she sounds confident, but she's very worried* Sheepy: *The pianist seems unsure.* Sheepy: *The helpful man is more interested in staying by the princess's side than returning to his original place.* Arsé-kun: princess: Musician? Music, please. Sheepy: *The pianist hesitantly returns to playing again.* Arsé-kun: *And the party resumes as if nothing had ever happened!* Arsé-kun: princess: ... Well, in any case! I suppose that tall, noble man was able to shoot down the intrud-- Sheepy: *Bloody shoeprints appear, accompanied by heavy footsteps, as though someone just walked in. The entity glitches in and out of visibility, disappearing too quickly to be able to focus on its features.* Arsé-kun: princess: ... ....... Arsé-kun: *... The party ignores this event, mostly.* Arsé-kun: princess: ... I see you. I don't know what you want, but I'm not letting you ruin my party! Guard! We're leaving the area! Sheepy: *The helpful man runs in the opposite direction of the entity, dragging the princess along by her hand!* Arsé-kun: *They're escaping!* Sheepy: *The entity chases after them! It's surprisingly fast.* Arsé-kun: *They weave through the crowd easily, trying to lose it!* Sheepy: *It, too, weaves with ease, until... It nearly smacks into one of the blond guests, and pauses in front of him.* Arsé-kun: *The partygoer ignores it entirely. He doesn't even seem to be aware that it's present.* Sheepy: Entity:....A.....Aaa.... *it reaches for him* Sheepy: Entity: *...It grabs him!* Arsé-kun: *The man turns to look at him, but seems to be looking straight through him with glazed-over eyes.* Sheepy: Entity: Aaa...AaaaaaaAA!! A...rthur.... A-aaaarthhhuuuuur....! Arsé-kun: suit: ... ... *a few moments pass with his silence, before twitching slightly and promptly bolting out of the room, frightened but still rather unfocused* Sheepy: *The Entity bolts after him, much faster than when he pursued the princess! He's really interested now!* Arsé-kun: *the suit realizes rather quickly that he doesn't actually know where he's going, and ends up in a dead end! oh no!* Sheepy: *The Entity catches up and closes in on him. Closer, and closer... Slowly...* Sheepy: Entity:....Aaaa....Aaaarthur.... Arthuuuur.... ..... Arsé-kun: suit: Wh-who are you talking about..? I'm.. ... *he trails off, suddenly unsure of himself* I...... Sheepy: Entity: Arthur...Arthuuuur...! Stop running from me, Arthur! Arsé-kun: *the life comes back to the suit's eyes with additional terror, stepping back from the entity hastily* Arsé-kun: suit: N-no, not you, not now..! Sheepy: Entity: How could you have forgotten... How could you have forgotten that you're the greatest king to have lived? And then... And then you... Sheepy: Entity: How dare you call me Mordred! At least get the names of your traitors straight, my King! If you're going to get my name wrong, at least call me Sir Lancelot instead. Sheepy: Entity: *he looks up* ...Ah, sorry, Sir Lancelot... To compare myself to your greatness... Arsé-kun: *... the suit doesn't seem to hear any of this, staring at the floor and looking rather faint* Sheepy: Entity: My King would never cower in fear! Sheepy: Entity: You...! Are you going to be just a coward bearing his face, or will you live up to his legacy? Arsé-kun: *... The suit silently faints into the Entity's arms. Well said, Sir.* Sheepy: Entity:.......My King... Ah, can I call you that if this is what you have become...? Sheepy: Entity: To think, he'd even fear me... Perhaps I should have never revealed my betrayal... Arsé-kun: ?: Maybe you should've started with your name, blood man! Sheepy: Entity: Isn't it obvious? Arsé-kun: *The white haired man approaches. It's Merlin, holding his camera!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Obviously not, since this happened twice now! Sheepy: Entity: No, I suppose my King wouldn't remember someone as simple as me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aw, c'mon. He's talked about his knights a couple times. He's definitely mentioned you by now! Sheepy: Entity:...He has? Sheepy: Entity:..........I could have been a little gentler. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, that probably would have helped... Mordred scares the hell out of him, and even I can barely see you! *Merlin takes another picture. SNAP* Sheepy: Entity: Le Fise de Dieu, Sir Jaufre of the Round Table. ...He's mentioned me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, several times, Mr. Jaufre! How you were scary loyal and effective! Sheepy: Entity: Really... But I'm a traitor. I committed a horrible crime. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ehhh... You? I can't see it. Or you. How can someone that loves cats and cute stuff be evil? Sheepy: Entity: My King made me guard the execution of my Queen... Ah, but I loved her so much, just as much as I love my King. I couldn't devote myself to his orders. I allowed Sir Lancelot to defeat me, although he would have won with ease anyway. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Man, if I came here for drama, I'd have stayed in the ball room and watched someone get their wig sliced clean off. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We'll talk in there. You tell my team what's going on, we tell you what's going on. At least I'm getting good pictures! *snap!* Sheepy: Jaufre:........You speak so cryptically. Tell me what's going on? I am not lost or confused. Sheepy: Jaufre: I came here because I felt that there was a problem to be fixed. Ah, but now that I have discovered the source... *He inhales* ... Sheepy: Jaufre: *Berserker-esque shouting* Am I not handsome enough for you?! How dare you, how dare you! Everyone was invited but me! Let me guess, *sarcastic imitation of the princess* "it got lost in the mail!" I'll get YOU lost in the mail! Arsé-kun: princess: *very far away from here but still audible* You were invited! You just ignored the correspondence, you awful ruffian! You ruined everything, are you proud of yourself?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Wait, you know what's going on?? Do you wanna explain that at all? Sheepy: Jaufre: What? Of course I do. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *sounding miserable, not making any attempts to pry himself from Jaufre* Could you then care to explain, Sir Jaufre, for both the crown and the peasantry? Sheepy: Jaufre: She abducted different handsome or beautiful ghosts to find a prince or princess. I'm not a ghost, but I was in the area! I never got an invitation! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would like to make a very self-centered comment about that statement, fully aware that I do not normally do such things. Sheepy: Jaufre: ...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I am suggesting that I am, as apparently said now, "Hot shit". I will regret this statement later. Sheepy: Jaufre: I do not know this term... However, it sounds to be positive, so I am sure it is accurate! Arsé-kun: *Arthur pulls back from Jaufre and tries to look him over. Observation 100* Sheepy: *Jaufre is still a glitchy mess. It's hard to focus on any specific feature of his.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Have you changed your hair? Sheepy: Jaufre: I have tended to it less than I used to. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It shows. I'm glad to know it was you, and not. Someone else. I would say it is good to see you, but part of that statement is inaccurate. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It is not me being disappointed in seeing you, as you suggested. Sheepy: Jaufre: You should be. I betrayed you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I should not have made the order to begin with. It was my own error, not yours. Sheepy: Jaufre: Is that so... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why would you have been a chief advisor if you tended to be wrong? Sheepy: Jaufre: ?!... There is a logic to that. Sheepy: Jaufre: So all this time, I have been guilting myself over nothing. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Knights still died... We all have a portion of the fault, but it is primarily my own. Sheepy: Jaufre: I refused to die so I could admit my guilt to you, among other things. How awkward that in the end, it was all pointless... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... You say this, but I get the feeling you're as dead as I am. Sheepy: Jaufre: I never died. Arsé-kun: *Merlin has left the scene so they can talk* Arsé-kun: Arthur: When have you eaten last? Sheepy: Jaufre: After a while, I did stop being hungry. Ah, but I am good at not eating for long periods of time. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Jaufre, you cannot survive this long without assistance if you aren't dead. Sheepy: Jaufre:........... Arsé-kun: Arthur: The only exceptions to this rule seem to be the half-demons, Sir Calogrenant the unkillable, and apparently Sir Bors. You are none of these. Sheepy: Jaufre: Could Lady Morgan have given me this gift...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Doubtful. Sheepy: Jaufre: She's given me gifts in the past... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Something like this would be outside of her capabilities . Sheepy: Jaufre: You should not underestimate her. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Too late. Sheepy: Jaufre:.....*he crosses his arms*.... Well, I have no answer for why I am still alive, then. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But the ward I used to repel.. You? Was specifically for the dead. Sheepy: Jaufre: Ah! I was so dumbfounded that my King would kick me out that I did not just break back in...! I would have clawed at that door until it was gone, but I realized you had to leave eventually, so I waited. Sheepy: Jaufre: A ward like that cannot stop me for very long. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I was unaware it was you. Perhaps please identify yourself for future visits. Sheepy: Jaufre: I did. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You did not use your name. Sheepy: Jaufre: Do you know of another traitorous knight who loved the queen as much as I? *he...sounds pleased with himself?* Sheepy: Jaufre: My love for her rivalled even my love for my King...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm not going to challenge that statement. Sheepy: Jaufre: But are they tied, or is my love for my King even greater...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... *he just sighs* It's good to have you back, Jaufre. Sheepy: Jaufre: You won't kick me out again? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I will try my best not to. You caught me at a very bad time. Sheepy: Jaufre: Run faster next time. Sheepy: Jaufre: If you do not, I will catch you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm not afraid of you. You would never do anything to your king. Sheepy: Jaufre: Of course! I never would! fSheepy: Jaufre: Although... in a fight, you would certainly best me. After all, you are my king. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would. I am capable of reining in my anger, unlike you, so I am less predictable than you. Sheepy: Jaufre: How like my king to know his knights so well! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would certainly hope I do. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Shall we return to the festivities? I suppose we should be more free to enjoy ourselves now. Sheepy: Jaufre: Yes, of course. Arsé-kun: *They return to the ballroom. Much of the attending crowd is understandably lost and confused. Merlin is still taking 100 pictures* Sheepy: *The musician is still playing the piano...* Arsé-kun: Morne: Welcome back. You haven't missed much more than a reaper doing their job. Sheepy: Jaufre: Reaper? Sheepy: Jaufre: Hmmm... Arsé-kun: Morne: Well, I guess two. Sheepy: Jaufre: They've bothered me before. Arsé-kun: Morne: I would suppose so. They do tend to bother anyone that's stuck around quite often. Sheepy: Jaufre: How foolish of them... Arsé-kun: Morne: It's a living, I suppose. Pun intended. Sheepy: Jaufre: Not for long. Arsé-kun: Morne: Primo wasn't joking when he said you were intimidating. Sheesh. Sheepy: Jaufre: I am not intimidating. Sheepy: Jaufre: I always act like this. Arsé-kun: Morne: I'll let you have that one. Sheepy: Jaufre: Well, thank you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Would anyone like to answer where I got this from? *he holds up a sheathed katana* I thought it was a walking stick initially. Sheepy: Okita: You plan on giving it back? If you don't... I'll-- *cough, cough, cough* Arsé-kun: Arthur: My apologies. Take it back, before you join us. Sheepy: *Okita takes it back* Sheepy: Okita: It's just a little tickle in my throat. Arsé-kun: Arthur: You're dying. Sheepy: Jaufre: A tickle in your throat causes you to cough up blood... Sheepy: Okita: I've had worse. I'm not dying. Sheepy: Jaufre: A tickle in your throat causes you to cough up blood... Sheepy: Okita: I've had worse. I'm not dying. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *stares* Sheepy: Okita: What is it, old man? Arsé-kun: Arthur: How is that not a sign of an immanent demise? Sheepy: Okita:..... Sheepy: Okita: Eh... Sheepy: Okita: Not for me. Sheepy: Okita: I'm not dying. Just ask my doctors. Arsé-kun: a nearby blond: *passing by* They all think you'll be dead by 30. Sheepy: Okita: But I'm not 30 yet. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: That's the upper limit. The lower limit is next week. Stop skipping your medication. Sheepy: Okita: It tastes bad. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: Too bad, too sad. Sheepy: Okita: Hahaha... You're difficult, you know that? Arsé-kun: Yomiel: Glad to hear it. I'll consider adding stipulations into your file. Maybe. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: .. And Toa, go home. Sheepy: Toa: How did I end up here...? Sheepy: Toa: A-and how do I get back...? Arsé-kun: Yomiel: ... That is a good question. Sheepy: Jaufre: Oh. It's simple. Sheepy: Jaufre: I wandered here because I felt it. Just ree Arsé-kun: Arthur: That would be logical if any of us were able to recall coming here to begin with. Sheepy: Jaufre: You don't remember... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not one bit. I personally may be able to return easily, but many of these ghosts may not. Sheepy: Jaufre:.... Sheepy: Jaufre: This must be a quest... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Here's what we can do. I will direct one group back to where we came from. You, good knight, can escort some of the others back to where they came from. So yes. I am giving you a quest. Sheepy: Jaufre: I can do that. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I know you can. Sheepy: Crow: Not so fast!! Arsé-kun: princess: Get away from me!! I'm not going! Sheepy: Crow: You are. You're on my list! Arsé-kun: princess: I am not! Get out of my house, creep! Sheepy: Crow: You sure are! Sheepy: *Rider has pulled out a weapon. Menacing* Arsé-kun: princess: I don't care what you say! I'm going to get what I want! Sheepy: Crow: Celeste Chambers, you're under ghost arrest for abduction and resisting passing on! Arsé-kun: Celeste: Well, you're under ghost arrest for trespassing! Sheepy: Crow: I'm not a ghost, so there! Now, come quietly or I'll have to use my Red Tomahawk to gather your soul! Arsé-kun: Celeste: At least wait until the guests have left! They shouldn't have to see this place for what it is! Sheepy: Crow: Take off your rosy colored glasses and face the truth! ...Heh! That sounded pretty cool! Arsé-kun: Celeste: Fine! *she takes off a pair of glasses... and flings them at Crow, followed by her crown, and then her entire dress. Thankfully she has another one on under it.* Sheepy: Crow: Ouch, ouch, ouch! Arsé-kun: Merlin: If this is what death looks like, we're gonna be immortal, huh? *he elbows Okita* Sheepy: Crow: Man! You stink! Why don't you ghosts come willingly for once?! Sheepy: Okita: Hehehe. If he actually swung that weapon of his, he might actually do something of use. Arsé-kun: Celeste: You crashed my party, you ruined me trying to find love, and you're asking why I'm upset with you?? Sheepy: Crow: Ehhhh.... Sheepy: Crow:.......Okay, let's start over! Sheepy: Crow: You're on my list! Now come with me willingly! Arsé-kun: Celeste: Guard, could you escort this lunatic outside please? Sheepy: *Rider grabs Crow and starts dragging him* Sheepy: Crow: Heyheyheyhey!!! Let go, let go! Arsé-kun: Celeste: ... ... *she's clearly upset, but isn't letting that stop her* I suppose that is it for this. I suggest everyone leaves so you don't see how disappointing this really is. Sheepy: Jaufre: I already know how disappointing it is. Arsé-kun: Celeste: Not you! Sheepy: Salieri: I didn't believe something like this existed. ...Really, you would have been better off getting Mozart for this... Arsé-kun: Yomiel: I'm more surprised you came willingly. Sheepy: Salieri: Of course. I had to. There's a ghost here I have responsibility for. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: I now have additional questions. Sheepy: Salieri: The tall gray one. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: I now have one less question. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: The next is asking why you aren't shocked that I am still around. Sheepy: Salieri: I already live with a ghost who tries to steal my body every time I lower my guard in order to kill Mozart. Sheepy: Salieri: This doesn't bother me. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: And given the lack of fart sound effects over loudspeakers, he hasn't succeeded. Sheepy: Salieri: Of course not. Mozart is crafty and resourceful. Sheepy: Salieri: I would hope he never gets caught. It'd mean he's getting rusty. Arsé-kun: Yomiel: I wish the both of you the best of luck. Sheepy: Salieri: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *.... The surroundings suddenly change, and quite drastically, keeping the architecture but losing the... Everything else. Everything is broken, covered in all sorts of stains and cobwebs, and dusty. It's kinda dark in here. Also, everyone's actually wearing whatever they had on before. Celeste has given up keeping everything looking nice.* Sheepy: Salieri: I would've liked to play in a fancy mansion one day... but as long as people enjoyed it, it was still worth it. Arsé-kun: *Merlin turns on a flashlight* Sheepy: *There's creaking behind him...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..? Sheepy: *There's a pause before suddenly, something cold and wet like ice gets shoved down the back of his shirt!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin yells! ... The ghosts don't really care.* Sheepy: *Rider pulls his tendril back to himself, points at Merlin, and laughs. No sound comes out* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, you got me! *he takes it well, laughing a bit too* I''ll get you back one day! Sheepy: Rider: *He seems as pleased as a headless man can be!* Sheepy: *Rider then returns to Celeste's side. Hello!* Arsé-kun: *Celeste is pouting in the floor. Literally. She's half-sunk into the floor.* Sheepy: *Rider offers her a hand to help her up* Arsé-kun: *She accepts it, but she's still pouting* Sheepy: Rider: "I enjoyed myself." Arsé-kun: Celeste: That's what... Two people? Sheepy: Rider: "But isn't it good you made two people happy? That's more than zero." Arsé-kun: Celeste: I guess so. At least a few people stuck around this time. Sheepy: Rider: "If we work on it, maybe people will come willingly." Arsé-kun: Celeste: uhhuh. And you'll sprout a horse head. Sheepy: Rider: "We can try befriending people and then inviting them." Arsé-kun: Celeste: Why, so it turns into a ghost frathouse? No thanks. Sheepy: Rider:.......*he's thinking* Sheepy: Rider: "Let's work on it together. We might find a solution that way." Arsé-kun: Celeste: I'd rather anything but having to charge up power for a whole 24 hours. It's awful... But not as awful as nobody showing up! Sheepy: Rider: "I'll show up." Arsé-kun: Celeste: Would you...? Sheepy: Rider: "Of course." Arsé-kun: *Celeste is thinking* Sheepy: *Rider lets her continue thinking* Sheepy: *Crow has arrived once more! He's wagging his tail in the same way a cat does when it's mad* Sheepy: *This time, Lobo has come with him! He's sniffing everything. Everything smells like ghosts!* Arsé-kun: Celeste: ...! Sheepy: Crow: You guys really embarrassed me big time... Now everybody's gonna think I'm a pushover... Sheepy: Crow: Man, this stinks... I was just feeling really out of my groove. So don't think I'm lame or something! Arsé-kun: Morne: But you only missed one out of a crowd. You're still death. Sheepy: Crow: Hey, that's the nicest thing I've heard all day! Arsé-kun: Morne: I'm not going to be rude to death. You're higher than me on the scale of things, even if you're a junior. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah! Yeah, I guess I am! But also... I guess part of the job of a reaper is to figure out what's binding a ghost to this world to begin with and help fix it, right? Sheepy: Crow: Something about beating them senseless with my Red Tomahawk doesn't feel quite right... Arsé-kun: Morne: Please reserve that for violence. Sheepy: Crow: So if a ghost is being rough, I can smack them into the crimson stratosphere with my Red Tomahawk! Arsé-kun: Morne: Sure. I'm no reaper, but I've seen enough operating or chasing me. Sheepy: Crow: Gee, you sure know a lot from observation alone! Arsé-kun: Morne: I would hope so. I'm still a Merlin. Sheepy: Crow: No clue what that is. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks downright offended in the background* Arsé-kun: Morne: Wizards. I'm the only ghost of the group. Because, of course, I'm exceptionally deceased. Sheepy: Crow: Wizards are real? Arsé-kun: *Crow can feel judgement crawling on his back. Only a little.* Sheepy: Crow: I kinda thought they were like Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny... or maybe even like, eh... Sheepy: Crow: Armadillos. Sheepy: *Lobo barks and rushes over to the sourcs of the judging. Helloooo* Arsé-kun: *The reaper lurking in the shadows reaches out to pat Lobo. Hello.* Sheepy: Crow: Oh, Boss! Y-you didn't see me stalling or anything!! Arsé-kun: Thanatos: ... This one is not yet ready to be taken. Move on with your list. Arsé-kun: *it's hard to speak seriously with a dog shoving his snoot in ur face* Sheepy: Crow: …Eh? Move on with my list… Sheepy: Crow: Alright, that simplifies things! I didn’t want to deal with ‘em anyway! Arsé-kun: Thanatos: ... None left here are worth our time. However. Arsé-kun: *he points to Okita menacingly* Arsé-kun: Thanatos: At the current rate, this one will be mine personally. Sheepy: Okita: That's ominous. Sheepy: Okita: You threatening me? *He puts his hand on the hilt of his sword* We can settle this quickly-- *cough, cough, cough* Arsé-kun: Thanatos: You're running out of time. If you wish to remain alive... Well, you know what you should be doing. Arsé-kun: Thanatos: ... Crocell? Shall we demonstrate the end result, or will we be merciful this one evening? Sheepy: Crow: This way he'll take us seriously! Arsé-kun: Thanatos: You've lost that chance for this crowd, Crocell. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, now that you've used that dorky name in front of everyone! Arsé-kun: *something heavy gets dropped on the floor. Lads, that's a whole coffin. Scary!* Arsé-kun: *A chain comes from Thanatos' direction and wraps around Okita before dragging him towards the coffin! Scary!!* Sheepy: Okita:?! Sheepy: Okita: Let go... or I'll let you have it. Arsé-kun: Thanatos: You cannot kill what is already dead. This is a kind version of your fate if you do not change your ways. Arsé-kun: *Okita gets dunked into the coffin so hard that it slams shut. Goodbye Okita* Sheepy: Rider: "So Death abducts the living now." Arsé-kun: Thanatos: He does not take other warnings seriously. Sheepy: Rider: "And if you accidentally kill him, what then?" Arsé-kun: Thanatos: I will not. Sheepy: Rider: "But if you do?" Arsé-kun: Thanatos: You are far too worried, dullahan. How can I? Arsé-kun: *he opens the coffin. Okita is gone! SCARY!* Arsé-kun: Thanatos: When he is not even here? Sheepy: Rider: "He's gone." Sheepy: Crow: *clapping* Nice job, Boss! What a trick! Arsé-kun: Thanatos: ... He's gone straight to his living hell. That is, where he belongs. He won't get such liberties next time. Arsé-kun: *Everyone else is rightly horrified to various degrees, which is the correct reaction when presented with Death.* Sheepy: *Even if Lobo is chewing on him.* Arsé-kun: *Lobo does not fear death. Lobo fears being hit with a newspaper* Sheepy: *Rider is trying to call Lobo over so he doesn't ruin Thanny's image. However, Lobo doesn't want to leave Thanny. How sweet!* Arsé-kun: *Thanny is powerful. He is scary even with the wolf chewing on him- He is unfazed by it entirely* Sheepy: Crow: Hey, if he dies, am I gonna have to reap his soul? Arsé-kun: Thanatos: No. Sheepy: Crow: Good. Great! He scares me! Arsé-kun: *Merlin starts raising his camera. Thanatos LOOKS at him. Camera put back down* Sheepy: Crow: You can't take pics of Boss, but you can get good pics of me at my next concert! I'll even autograph them! I'm ShinganCrimsonZ's guitarist, singer, and mascot! Sheepy: Rider: "Don't plug your band while Death is trying to intimidate people." Arsé-kun: Thanatos: ... More importantly, the living best be going. Something is coming. Sheepy: Rider: "The Gray Man has already left with the human he's attached to." Arsé-kun: Morne: I believe I can handle the rest. Group together, everyone. Sheepy: *Rider joins the group heading back.* Arsé-kun: *Celeste is Still attached to Rider by the arm. This doesn't seem to be changing.* Sheepy: *Rider doesn't mind. In fact, it appears to be making him a little happy? He feels needed!* Arsé-kun: *Morne makes a magic circle, and teleports everyone out of the old, shitty building! Thanny can be heard sighing at the absolute last second.* Sheepy: Aru: *Sob, sob* He's definitely gone...! D-Did he leave because he didn't like me...? Was I too overbearing...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Cut it out, will'ya?? Sheepy: Aru: *whimper* But, but... Arsé-kun: *Arthur SLAMS the door open so hard it bounces back through him. He doesn't give a shit right now.* Sheepy: *Aru jumps. What was that?!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Everything is awful and today I learned ghosts can abduct other ghosts. Who knew. Sheepy: Aru:....? Sheepy: Aru:......?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Oh no. Sheepy: *Aru covers her face. You can't see she's been crying, Arthur!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, Aru... *he floats over to her and puts an arm around her shoulders* If I'd had the resistance, I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't leave because of you. Sheepy: Aru: *She uncovers her face and looks up at him* ...R-really? You really wouldn't...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I wouldn't. I have no reason to. Sheepy: Aru: I-I thought... ...So, so you were abducted...? By whom?! Are you okay?! *Her upset has turned to panic* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Another ghost. I'm fine, thank you. I suppose as a ghost, I have far less resistance to mind bending and illusions than when I was alive... I'll have to work on that. Sheepy: Jaufre: You could not see that it was just an illusion, my King? It was obvious to me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: No, Jaufre. I was too distracted by having recently been manipulated to really consider it. Sheepy: Jaufre: My King has really gone downhill after his death! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Unlike you, Sir Jaufre, I've primarily been unaware of time passing, so I am still not used to this. Please do shut up. Sheepy: Jaufre: Unlike my King, I am not dead! Surely I will degrade even more than you once I die. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from... 3 places at once?* Jaufre, you're exceptionally dead. I have told you this numerous times. Sheepy: Jaufre: I never died. People are dead once they die. Arsé-kun: Yog: Fine. Correction: Your body has stopped being of use, and you're only alive in terms of spirit. Sheepy: Jaufre: But my body could be of use once I need it again, could it not? Arsé-kun: Yog: Even your bones are wasting away, you narration-snatching git. There's barely anything left to use. Sheepy: Jaufre: I can just use the other one then. Arsé-kun: Yog: You are not using my son as your meatsuit, Jaufre! Sheepy: Jaufre: But if I need a body for some reason? Arsé-kun: Yog: Then Suffer. Arsé-kun: *Yog will remember this.* Sheepy: Jaufre: If I need it for my King, no one will stand in my way. However... I would rather not him. He and I do not mesh well. Arsé-kun: *Morne settles down next to Aru. Kay pops a Kthanid's Respite so he can actually observe this and be sober. Fou.* Sheepy: Jaufre: His face is almost exactly like mine when I was a squire. I suppose everyone feels embarrassed at their past selves, just a bit... but his own, independent actions are what embarrass me more than anything. Sheepy: Jaufre: Simply... I want to scream... "Stop doing and saying those things while wearing a knockoff of my own face!" Arsé-kun: Yog: I'm not apologizing. You allowed it. Also, there is a wide berth of difference and you are projecting. Sheepy: Jaufre: I allowed it because of our friendship... Sheepy: Jaufre: I did not realize he would have no wisdom to speak of. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'm teasing you, Joofy. And it takes time. Sheepy: Jaufre: If he simply invested into wisdom, I could be a little less embarrassed by his actions... Arsé-kun: Kay: What, you saying you were a genius at twenty? Fuck off. Sheepy: Jaufre: That is not what I am saying. I did reckless things when I was a teen and in my twenties. One of them cost me my life, although temporarily... However, I was following my King's orders, so it was worth it. My King would not knowingly and pointlessly send me out to defeat the strongest knight in the area and to my death! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Let's go with that. Arsé-kun: *Kay wonders where Grif is* Sheepy: Grif: *He's looming and watching this. How does he impress the new cool knight? Is he too weak? Maybe he should grow stronger before meeting him. Is that even a choice?* Arsé-kun: *It's easy! Just sound like you own brain matter, Griflet!* Sheepy: *He's gonna try--* Sheepy: Grif:...Wow...Very cool... Arsé-kun: Kay: There you are. I was wondering where you were. Sheepy: Grif: I was here. Sheepy: Grif: I'm not good at stopping people from crying. I just left it to you. But wow... the greatest at it is King Arthur... Arsé-kun: Kay: It sure ain't me. We learned that today. Sheepy: Grif: He appeared and she instantly stopped crying. Amazing... Arsé-kun: Yog: ... So I see what you meant, Jaufre, but my response in summary is "If you had children, they'd have sounded similar." Sheepy: Aru: That's... I was crying because I was worried he'd left forever, so the fact he was back would make me stop crying. I'm sorry for the disturbance... Arsé-kun: Arthur: My apologies. I will work on my personal resistances to prevent a repeat. Sheepy: Aru: It's not your fault. You're the victim of this. Sheepy: Aru: While you were gone, Merlin gave me a picture of the ghost... but it seems like it was Sir Jaufre all along. Sheepy: Jaufre: You sound disappointed... Sheepy: Aru: I heard "traitor" and really was hoping to see Sir Lancelot instead... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And boy do I got pics for you today! *he says, dumping a shitton of photos on the table* The illusions were picked up on camera! Hey, you wanna see Arthur in a nice suit? Arsé-kun: *Arthur wants to see the suit from an outside perspective. He liked that suit... He notes to figure out if ghosts can acquire new clothes* Sheepy: Aru: Arthur... in a suit? Sheepy: Aru: Wow! He looks nice! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I do quite like it, actually.. Sheepy: Jaufre: You could have one made for you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: As a ghost? Sheepy: Jaufre: Even ghosts need to change clothes sometimes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I suppose that makes sense... Arsé-kun: *Arthur does not understand what so ever* Sheepy: Jaufre: For example, if you died in armor, sleeping can be uncomfortable. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I haven't thought about it once *he says, in armor, looking at another man in armor* Sheepy: Jaufre:...My King, you wear it in your sleep? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Please tell me we get our sense of touch back. Mine is sorely lacking. Sheepy: Jaufre: I have mine. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It will take some time, then. I see. Sheepy: Jaufre: I am incomplete, so certainly my King will pick it up faster than I did. However... Unlike you, I never died. My body simply wasted away, awaiting your return... Arsé-kun: Yog: Death is defined as "an individual who has sustained either (1) irreversible cessation of circulatory and respiratory functions, or (2) irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brainstem". That is to say, the body has stopped functioning. You are dead, Jaufre. Sheepy: Jaufre: So you say. But I say I am not dead! Ah... If only I were as loyal as Sir Bedwyr... Sheepy: Jaufre: If I were, I would have never lost my body. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... .... Stubborn Sir Jaufre. Our bodies are both dead. The difference is our level of activity until this point. Sheepy: Jaufre: Losing my body is a temporary inconvenience. Arsé-kun: Yog: Don't make me beat your death into you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I seem to be best at handling things when I am not really trying, I see. *he's started looking at the pictures again* Sheepy: Aru: And earlier you hugged me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm glad you were able to feel that. Sheepy: Aru: Yes! It was very comforting! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Glad to hear it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, here's the lady that caused it with a headless ghost! And here's a reaper trying to catch up, and here's Okita being a shit, Sheepy: Aru: Oh! Crow! He's my friend! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd have gotten pics of his boss, but he didn't let me. I got some cell pics too, but they're not as good. Sheepy: Aru: By the way, if you ask the Merlins, maybe they'll know how you can change clothes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: :3c Arsé-kun: Morne: Like this? *his outfit changes without prompting, and then changes back* Sheepy: Aru: Uhuh! Arsé-kun: Morne: Practice. It's essentially part of your being as a spirit, so it's as simple as any other self-shifting magics once you get the hang of it. Sheepy: Jaufre: At night... I, too, change into other outfits. Arsé-kun: Morne: What I am personally most interested in knowing.. Is about you as well. Arsé-kun: Morne: How are you capable of hiding yourself even from other ghosts..? And furthermore, why you you look like... That, sometimes? Sheepy: Jaufre: Sir Jaufre of the Round Table... Le Fise de Dieu... One of the knights of the greatest king, King Arthur. What a great king, to even give an incomplete man like myself a position...! My King even gets mistaken for a handsome prince... How incredible! Of course, it stings fhat I did not receive an invitation as well... Although, it seems that I was sent it. Perhaps I never got it due to a glitch in the system... Ah, but perhaps I AM the glitch in the system...Hmhmhm... Arsé-kun: *Aru gets a single text. Thanks Primo* Sheepy: *Aru checks it* Arsé-kun: Primo: [text: to Aru] Haha, Fart of God. Absolutely nothing has changed. Sheepy: Aru: [text: to Primo] He really is proud of Arthur... Arsé-kun: Primo: [text: to Aru] So I saw! Arsé-kun: *merlin takes advantage of a silent moment and no one knowing how to reply to jaufre* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if the ghost princess is with the headless dog owner, then we can bitch at her anytime! For free! Sheepy: Jaufre: Brave ghost to stay with a dullahan. He could reap her soul at any time if he wanted to. Arsé-kun: Morne: She was afraid of the reapers. I don't see the logic behind that decision. Sheepy: Aru: She's scared of Crow? Arsé-kun: Morne: Well, she ran from even him, so yes. Sheepy: Aru:....But... He's so harmless. Arsé-kun: Morne: The threat was there, and she had no defenses. Silly or not, a reaper is a reaper. Sheepy: Aru: Well, that is true... Poor Crow... I'm sure it made him sad for her to run from him. Sheepy: Jaufre: That is similar to saying that you worry for a wolf's feelings when their prey runs away... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's my sister all right. Sheepy: Aru: Eh? Kay? You don't feel that way? Arsé-kun: Kay: Why the fuck..? Sheepy: Aru: He's only a little older than me and he struggles to make friends. I'm sure people running from him hurts, just a little. Sheepy: Aru: You can understand! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... So anyway! Sheepy: Aru:?! Sheepy: Jaufre: I see... Caliburn's new wielder kills with her words instead of her actions. Arsé-kun: Kay: No violence, only blunt honesty and sucker punching me in the gut with statements I'm not paid to deal with! Sheepy: Aru: You're paid to take care of me? Wow, Teacher really is kind...! Arsé-kun: Kay: That is absolutely not what I said!! Sheepy: Aru: "I'm not paid to deal with [sucker punches]"... So you're paid to deal with other things? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aaaaaand here we have some clown on clown violence! Stunning, folks! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not paid, so I shouldn't have to get sucker punched by statements I don't wanna deal with! Sheepy: Bedi: Kay, a clown...? i suppose I can see it... Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm going to drunkenly berate everyone in this room! Sheepy: Aru: You should try being paid. Arsé-kun: *Kay gives her a Look™ and then resumes drinking. Nope.* Sheepy: Aru: He might say yes. Although... You should never expect much from Teacher. Arsé-kun: Morne: It'd be best if you didn't expect much. He only shows up when something is genuinely wrong, and even then he tells you nothing. Sheepy: Aru: Yes... He's on vacation right now, and that's why I'm here. Even Teacher needs to go on vacation from saying cryptic things and leaving you to your own devices... Sheepy: Aru: I hope he's having fun. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wonder how fun riding a giant ship is... Sheepy: Aru: I bet the ocean is really cool... Sheepy: Aru: Beddy went, too. He thinks it's neat. It has octopi that you can't see well but can painlessly bite you and kill you within minutes with full body paralysis. Arsé-kun: Morne: That makes me glad I'm already dead. Sheepy: Aru: There's also a fish that can cause necrosis. Sheepy: Aru: They blend in with rocks, so you can step on one on accident and in response it'll kill you. Sheepy: Aru: The beach sounds really exciting! Sheepy: Aru: People fear sharks, but the more dangerous things are those you can't see! Like flesh eating bacteria in the water... or box jellyfish... Arsé-kun: Yog: *just as cheerfully* The star vampires... Sheepy: Aru: Star vampires? Arsé-kun: Yog: Well, we're talking about dangerous things that are normally hard to spot, yes? Sheepy: Aru: Yes. Sheepy: Aru: What's a star vampire? Arsé-kun: Yog: In short? An invisible jellyfish that sucks blood and laughs the entire time. Sheepy: Aru: Oh! That's neat! Arsé-kun: Kay: T-T Sheepy: Aru: But don't they get dry being out of the water? Arsé-kun: Yog: They do not. Sheepy: Aru: I guess there's no way to ever see one. Too bad... Sheepy: Grif:..........They taste good....... Arsé-kun: Yog: Only after it feeds can you see it- Griflet please. Sheepy: Aru: Like the invisible man! Arsé-kun: Yog: In a way, yes. Sheepy: Aru: I heard that there's one on campus. Arsé-kun: Yog: Which? You'll have to be more specific. Sheepy: Aru: An invisible man. Arsé-kun: Yog: Oh. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I keep the star vampires out... usually. ... They taste good when I can get them... Arsé-kun: Yog: Would you like to get one now? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: North entrance. Hasn't entered yet. You have about ten minutes. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. *he gets his stuff and exits*

[a-splash-of-stucky]

Not Your Type

Pairings: Engineer!Wanda x Actress!Reader

Summary: Your friends cannot believe that you, of all people, ended up with a geek.

Warnings: Implied/referenced sex, potentially some language,

Notes: For @bookybuns‘ fic fest. My prompt was: S/he is really nerdy and you’re really popular and everyone’s confused as to how you two are in a relationship.

Okay, I kinda feel like this prompt is perhaps more suited to a high school/college AU, but that’s not my jam, so I took it down another road. Takes place in a modern/no powers AU — hopefully it still works!

I will be completely honest: my initial idea was for a pre-serum!Steve x Reader one-shot, but when I started writing, it didn’t work out. After much deliberation, discarded drafts and tears later, here is what I came up with. My first Wanda x Reader fic. Enjoy :)

The arrival of your guests is signalled by the loud ringing of your buzzer. You dash over to the door, throwing it open with a dramatic flourish.

“Enter, good fellows,” you say solemnly, adding to your theatrics with an exaggerated bow. Bucky snorts, stepping past you and making a beeline for the TV to get the DVD set up. Tonight is movie night, and as it’s Sam’s turn to pick, you're all being subjected to yet another re-watch of Forrest Gump.

Steve brushes past you, Natasha hot on his heels. He has a carrier bag filled to the brim with various kinds of junk food in one hand. “You in a medieval play or something?” Steve asks amusedly, as he brings the bag over to the coffee table.

“Nah,” you drawl, moving to help Sam bring in the pizza boxes, kicking the door shut with your foot. “But we’re thinking of it. Maria’s got some ideas for a script,”.

Natasha sets two bottles of vodka — the good stuff, imported from Russia — down on the coffee table, then curls up on the overstuffed armchair that she always claims on movie nights. “Why do you look so happy, Y/N?” she asks curiously, folding her fingers under her chin, “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“Oh, nothing,” you reply airily, even though that’s an outright lie. You tug on the neckline of your oversized sweater, readjusting it self-consciously in the hopes that no one will spot the purpling hickey on your collarbone.

“Nothing?” Nat echoes, picking up on the unusual tone in your voice. “You’re not acting like it. I think something’s up,”.

“Someone remind her that this is not a detective show,” Sam sighs, as he helps you set out the boxes of pizza. You force out a laugh, hoping that it will be enough to throw Nat off your scent.

“Is it something to do with work? You got a big part for once, or something?” asks Steve, who is busy arranging the rest of the food on the remaining space on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” you reply immediately, mentally thanking Steve for coming to your rescue, albeit unknowingly. You fill in the terse silence that follows by helping Steve and Sam finish laying out the array of food. This ensures that your back is turned to Nat, preventing her from being able to see your face and make any further deductions. Why does she have to be so good at reading you?

“Can you tell us anything about it?” Bucky calls, talking over his shoulder as he turns the TV on and starts to tinker with the settings.

“Uh—I’m...not allowed to say anything,” you mumble haltingly.

“When’s that ever stopped you from telling us before?” Steve asks, one eyebrow quirking up in surprise.

“Yeah, you literally give jack shit about confidentiality agreements, Y/N,” Bucky adds.

Damn, they’ve got you there. You hesitate for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek as your brain scrambles to come up with a response. A startled yelp escapes your throat when you feel a hand on your shoulder, yanking aside the neckline of your sweater—

—to expose the hickey and therefore the secret you’d been fighting to keep.

“Oh my god,” Nat breathes, seeing straight through your sham and figuring out exactly what your secret is. “You got laid, Y/N, and laid good,”.

“Natasha!” Steve cries exasperatedly, standing up to go sit on the couch.

Bucky snickers, “Oh, don’t be such a prude, Stevie. You take pictures of half-naked people on a weekly basis,”. He’s done fiddling with the settings on your sound system now, so stands up to grab a slice of pizza.

“That’s different!” Steve splutters indignantly, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “That’s for work, Bucky, this is Y/N’s private life,”.

“Which we all now want to know about,” Sam adds, as he takes a slice of pizza for himself and plops down on the floor beside you. “C’mon, Y/N, spill the beans. Who was it?” he asks, elbowing you playfully in the ribs.

“No one,” you reply curtly, swatting his arm away and turning your gaze to the TV, where Forest Gump is waiting to be played. “Can we start the movie yet?”

“Oh, she’s avoiding us, now!” Bucky chuckles, “Now I really wanna know what this is about,”. Heat begins to rise in your cheeks as you feel everyone’s questioning gaze being turned on you. You’re in the hot seat tonight, it would seem.

“Was it a one-night stand?” Steve asks curiously, “Never would’ve thought of you as a one night stand kinda gal,”.

“Nu-uh, look at this face,” Sam interjects, poking his index finger into your cheek to emphasise his point. “That’s the face of a girl who’s got something way more meaningful than a one-nighter,”.

“You’re seeing someone!” Nat squeals excitedly, practically bouncing in her chair with glee, “C’mon, c’mon, please tell us who,”.

“I shall not,” you say, miming the act of zipping your lips shut and throwing away the key.

“Get her phone,” Bucky says suddenly, whipping his head from side to side in search of it. Your eyes widen, heart doing a terrifying flip in your chest. You go to grab it from where it lies on top of the side-table beside the couch, but Nat beats you to it, easily snagging it from where she sits on the armchair.

“You don’t know my—,”

“I’m in,” she crows triumphantly, flipping the phone around to show everyone your home screen.

“How the hell do you know my passcode?” you ask bewilderedly, standing up and walking over to Nat in the hope of snatching your phone out of her hand whilst she’s distracted. You have no such luck; she plants her foot on your thigh to keep you a distance away, waggling her eyebrows in a most infuriating manner when you growl at her.

“Honey, everyone knows your password,” Steve says gently, “You’re kinda predictable like that,”.

“I fucking hate you all,” you grumble, watching helplessly as Nat taps away at your screen, looking through your messages. It’s clear that you’ve lost this fight. Bucky drapes his arms across the back of the sofa, peering down interestedly over her shoulder.

“Guys, can we just—.”

“Oooh, Wanda? Is that her name?” Nat asks, her eyes gleaming with mischief when she lifts them to meet your murderous glare.

“Maybe,” you say, dragging the two syllables out. You’re hopping from foot to foot agitatedly, praying that the gang will drop this line of enquiry sometime soon. Preferably right fucking now.

The issue is not in you being unwilling to tell your friends about your new relationship. No, you’re more than ready — have been more than ready for the last couple of weeks, in fact, almost bursting at the seams in your eagerness.

The problem is that you and Wanda have not yet had a discussion about making your relationship publicly known. Although you’re fairly certain that the two of you are on the same page, you don’t want to tell your closest friends about your budding relationship without her consent. It’s just not right.

“Maybe?” Steve murmurs.

“It’s a yes, Steve,” Sam says, pointedly avoiding your stare as he rips open a crisp packet.

“It’s a maybe,” you insist.

“Yep, that’s a definite yes,” Bucky comments, his eyes flickering over your face, assessing your expression.

“Fuck you,” you growl half-heartedly, no heat behind your words. How is it that they’re reading you like an open book? You’re an actress, for crying out loud, you should have an amazing poker face.

Maybe they just know you too well. Yeah, it’s probably that.

“You can’t, unfortunately,” Bucky sighs, as Natasha hands you your phone. “Can’t fuck me when you’ve got a girlfriend, Y/N, unless your morals are shittier than I expected,”.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you huff, stalking over to the end of the couch not currently occupied by Steve and flopping onto it.

“Who is she?” Steve asks curiously, turning to face you.

“Yeah, what does she work as? How did you meet? Give us the details, Y/N, c’mon,” Sam pleads.

You groan resignedly, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. It seems that movie night has morphed into gossip night. What more could you expect with this lot, really?

“She works in Stark Industries, in the R&D labs,” you reply, “She does…calculations and shit like that,”.

A silence descends over the room after your explanation, four perplexed pairs of eyes focused on you. The intensity of their gaze and the wave of confusion radiating off of everyone is uncomfortable enough to make you fidget under their scrutiny.

“What?” you snap.

Sam is the first to break out of his stupor. He clears his throat. “You’re dating…a math geek?”

Something in his tone immediately sets you on edge, your metaphorical claws coming out in anticipation of an attack. “What’s wrong with that?” you ask defensively.

Bucky is the one to answer you. “Um, hi, hello, who are you and what have you done with Y/N?”

“What?” you squawk, utterly puzzled by your friends’ reactions to your news. This is not how you pictured things going; you’re so confused. “Guys, I seriously don’t get it? What’s wrong? What’re you on about?”

“Y/N, you’ve hated maths for as long as we’ve known you. Longer, probably,” Natasha says.

“So? I can hate maths but not hate Wanda,” you point out.

“But that’s not my point,” she continues, “What I’m trying to say is that not once in your life have you ever had enough patience to deal with nerds,”.

“You are the girl who told Mr Coulson in maths to shove a stick up his ass in senior year,” Sam muses, pointing at you with what is possibly his fourth slice of pizza.

“And you teased Peter for trying too hard in physics for all of sophomore year,” Bucky adds.

“Oh!” Steve exclaims, “And you weren’t particularly nice to Scott—,”

“Okay, I get the fucking idea,” you snap.

And the truth is, they do have a point. A very good one, at that.

Wanda is not the kind of girl you pictured yourself ending up with at this stage in your life. Your teenage self would not have hesitated to scorn her in some way. Back in high school, you had been one of the popular girls, reputed for always being up for a good time on the weekends. To add to your stereotypical popular girl image, you were always surrounded by a gaggle of adoring friends. You might, at some points in your high school years, been unnecessarily mean to the smart kids in school — mostly because you were jealous of their ability to perform so well. Drama and theatre had always been your passion, and you did not have a single drop of academic ability in you. You hated learning with a vengeance and devoted very little time to studying, which in turn meant that you were scraping by each test by the skin of your teeth.

Wanda, by contrast, is something of a mathematical prodigy — working in the Stark Industries R&D department, one would expect nothing less. After finishing high school two years early, she was offered a full scholarship at the National University of Wakanda, one of the world’s leading institutions in engineering. Wanda graduated with first-class honours for the three undergraduate programs she participated in, and was promptly snatched up by Stark the moment she set foot in the working world.

The two of you could not have been more different if you’d tried.

“Is this the kind of stuff she deals with?” Steve asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. He twists around, reaching behind him to grab a sheaf of papers from the decorative side table beside the couch. “Didn’t think they were anything at first, then I saw the Stark logo and thought—hey!” he protests, as Sam snatches the papers out of his hands.

He whistles through his teeth, one eyebrow arching so high it’s a wonder that it’s still on his forehead at all. “Trajectory calculations, maximum speed estimates, idealised weight distribution—Y/N, this sounds like some pretty intense stuff,” Sam observes.

“I know,” you sigh, “We’re dating, remember? We’ve talked about her work before,”.

“She just…doesn’t seem like your type,” Bucky comments offhandedly, perching himself on the armrest of Nat’s chair.

“What d’you mean?” you ask, defensive shields up again, fists raised in the figurative sense.

“She’s academically gifted and you’re—well, not. You literally hate this kind of shit,” Bucky reminds you.

“I—she’s not a nerd just because she’s smart,” you cry exasperatedly, “And even if she was a nerd, I can like whoever I want! She’s a nice person, okay?”

“We just thought you’d be avoiding people like her,” Nat says, “That you’d end up with someone different. Wouldn’t have pegged—,”

“—me, for going after someone like Wanda? A math geek?”. You laugh bitterly, shaking your head in disappointment, “Guess I’m not as predictable as you expected, huh? Who would’ve thought that I, a girl who can barely recite her twelve times-tables, who’s mated math with a passion their entire life, who’s hated school her entire life would end up with someone like Wanda,” you say mockingly. “Look, let’s just drop the subject, alright?”

“When do we get to meet her?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, you seem to like her a lot. Why haven’t you introduced us?” Bucky adds.

You massage your temples gently, feeling a minor headache setting in from the onslaught of questions.

“First off, we’ve literally only been seeing each other for the last four months. In that time, you’ve been away careening through the hills of Scotland with nothing but a film camera,” you say, pointing towards Bucky. “You’ve had to finish writing a book, you’ve been going crazy prepping for NYFW and you’ve literally had about a million commissions to finish,” you add, pointing to Sam, Nat and Steve in turn. “There just hasn’t been an opportunity for me to do introductions,”.

“Jeez, we really need to make more time to see each other,” Nat says.

“Secondly,” you continue, folding your arms over your chest, “I was afraid of this. Of you all being judgemental and mean and — look, she’s not the most confident of girls, okay? I don’t…I really like her, guys,”

“We’re not that terrible,” Bucky mutters.

“You kinda are,” Steve teases. The statement earns him a murderous glare from Bucky.

“Well, hey, how’s about this weekend you bring her over to our place?” Sam suggests, “We’re having a dinner for my birthday—,”.

“Your birthday’s next week, bird-brain,” Bucky interrupts.

“I know, that,” Sam huffs, annoyed. “I’m going back to see my ma for my birthday, so we’re celebrating it here early, or did you forget, old man?”

“Why you—,”

“Okay!” you interrupt, holding both hands up in surrender, “I’ll do it. I’ll talk to Wanda, see what she thinks, and then bring her over if she says yes. Can we watch the goddamn movie now?”

—————————————

Wanda comes over about an hour after everyone has left. You’re half-asleep on your couch when you hear her key jingling in the lock.

“Hey,” she chirrups, as she shrugs off her coat. “How was it? Did you have fun?”. Beneath her coat, you see that she has on a pair of black pants and a burgundy blouse. She must have stayed late at work and then come straight here.

“It was okay,” you sigh, slowly moving into an upright position make room on the couch for her. Wanda kicks off her shoes and curls up against your side with her head resting on your shoulder.

“What’s up?” Wanda asks, squeezing your thigh, “You seem a little off,”.

“Do you think we’re compatible?” you ask abruptly. “As in, together, do you think we—are we a good match?”

The hesitation and doubt in your tone triggers her suspicions. Wanda sits up and turns to look at you. “Y/N?” she murmurs concernedly, reaching up to cup your cheek, “What’s going on?”

“They found out. About you and me,” you say, the words coming out in a rush.

Her eyebrows pull together in confusion. “…okay? So what’s the big deal?” Wanda asks.

You sigh, scrubbing one hand over your face frustratedly. “It’s—okay, basically, they said some things that made me…I guess, doubt the future of our relationship,” you explain.

Wanda nods thoughtfully. “What did they say?”

You proceed to tell her — in great detail — the events that took place in the last couple of hours. Wanda makes muted humming noises every now and then to show that she is listening intently.

“So yeah. I just—what they said left me a bit shaken up,”, you say, “What bugs me is the fact that they implied that…it’s surprising for someone like me to end up with someone like you,”.

“Someone like me?” Wanda echoes, tilting her head to the side.

“A math genius. A nerd, I guess,” you clarify. “I was never…academically inclined in school. And these guys grew up with me — they know that I was hopeless. I was always the popular girl, y’know? Good at drama — the subject, that is — but a failure at everything else,” you say bitterly.

“And that matters because?” Wanda prompts, letting her voice trail off at the end.

“Babe,” you huff, “Do you get what I’m tryna say? Like, I literally had to do re-sits just to pass. I was — and I hate to admit this — the kind of girl that used to pick on nerds,”. The confession sends a hot rush of shame through your system. High school was not your finest years; you did some pretty bitchy things back then.

“Well, I think we’ve been working out fine,” Wanda declares, as she pulls herself into your lap, thighs bracketing yours and hands resting on your shoulders. “What does it matter what they say?”

“But I used to be a bitch—,”

“But that’s not who you are now,” Wanda reminds you, brushing her thumb against the crook of your neck soothingly. “We all made mistakes in our past. I don’t care who you were back then, all I know is that the Y/N I’m in love with, is sweet and kind and loving and—,”

“Okay, okay, point taken,” you giggle.

“I was gonna say an asshole,” Wanda teases. You roll your eyes, shaking your head in amusement.

“Okay, no, but seriously,” she continues, tone taking on a more sombre note, “I don’t care what you were like back then. That’s not who you are now, and you realise your mistakes and frankly, that’s good enough for me,”.

“I’m not the same girl anymore,” you agree, “God, you are so smart, did you know that?”

Wanda snorts. “With three degrees? Hell yeah, I think so,”.

The two of your burst out laughing, Wanda burying her face into the side of your neck as her entire body quakes with giggles. “So what d’you say?” you ask, once you’ve both calmed down enough to speak coherently. “Sam’s invited us over for a dinner party at his house this weekend, shall we go?”

“Sure,” Wanda agrees, shrugging indifferently, “I finally get to meet these guys, it’ll be fun!”

“You might change your mind once you actually, meet them,” you warn. “I told them to be nice, but—,”

“I can take care of myself, Y/N,” Wanda sighs, petting you on the cheek. “Besides, remember what you always say? If I’m happy and you’re happy, then who gives a damn about what anyone else says?”

The corner of your lip tugs up at the endearment in her voice. “You’re happy?” you echo, nuzzling a little into her touch.

Wanda nods, an elated smile pulling at her lips. “I am,” she murmurs, leaning forward to rest her forehead against yours, “I really am,”. You tip your head up, just enough to graze your lips against hers. It’s a soft kiss to reinforce the words that you’ve shared with each other tonight; a declaration of your undying devotion to and faith in one another.

“You know what’d make me happier?” you mumble, barely breaking the kiss to speak.

A pause, then, “Sex?”

“Mind reader,” you chuckle, as you press another kiss to her lips — a little dirtier this time, your tongue darting out to flick over her bottom lip.

“What d’you want?” Wanda breathes, tantalisingly trailing her fingers down your arms, “A bath together? Take this to the bedroom?”

It is at this moment that a particularly wide yawn decides to break free, the wall of fatigue hitting you like a tonne of bricks. Wanda laughs fondly. “Okay, I think maybe save sex for the morning, bed right now?” she suggests as she clambers off you, grabbing your wrists to help you up.

“Mmm, I think I’m about ready to pass out,” you agree, nodding sleepily.

“I shall lull you to sleep by talking about the entry angle calculations I was doing today,” Wanda promises.

“Hell yes,” you groan approvingly, “Talk nerdy to me,”.

“Babe!” Wanda whines, “You’re not supposed to use that line anymore!”

—————————————

It’s a few days later and the two of you are in your car, driving over to Sam and Natasha’s house. You can tell that Wanda is nervous because she won’t stop plucking at the hem of her shirt.

“What if they don’t like me?” she asks suddenly.

You turn to face her as best as you can whilst still keeping one eye on the road. “They will,” you say simply, reassuring her with a pat on the thigh.

“But what if they don’t?” she frets, “What if I geek out? What if—,”

“Wanda,” you say sharply, cutting through the cloud of panic she’s stirred up around herself. “Stop worrying, okay? They’re nice, I promise,” you say. “Well, nice, is relative, I guess. They can be assholes when they want to be,” you amend.

“But they said you and I weren’t meant to be together!” Wanda protests.

“That is not what they said,” you say gently, “Don’t exaggerate. They just…think we’re an odd match. I’m sure they’ll come ‘round. Just be Wanda and you’ll be fine,”.

“Just be me,” she repeats, nodding her head resolutely, talking more to herself than to you.

“Exactly,” you murmur, taking your hand off her thigh and placing it back on the steering wheel.

“But don’t leave me alone with Nat. She scares me,”.

—————————————

Wanda is sat next to you on the couch. Sam and Bucky are engaging in a heated argument over the latest episode of The Avengers, which ended with The Hulk stealing a quinjet and flying off to god-knows-where.

“I think that’s gonna be the end of him for this season,” Bucky insists.

“No way!” Sam protests, “He’s like, everyone’s favourite character. They have got to have something big planned for him,”.

“If you think about the larger scale of things,” Wanda interrupts smoothly, “I believe it’s more likely that they’ll bring him back in the next season,”.

“I like this one,” Bucky says approvingly, flashing Wanda a lopsided grin.

“But, with that being said, I don’t think that’s the end of him for this season. Maybe they’ll do like…a special episode? I mean, they’re only on episode three, right?” Wanda continues.

“Exactly!” Sam cries.

“A mediator. I like you,” Steve says lazily. He’s in the kitchen with Natasha, heating something up in the oven.

“Anyone who can get Barnes and Wilson to shut up for more than two minutes is a god-send,” Nat chimes in.

It seems that your fears as to whether or not Wanda would be accepted by your group of friends have been unfounded. She’s clicked with them from pretty much the second she walked through the door. You have a feeling that your friends — Nat and Sam in particular — might still have a hard time accepting the fact that the two of you are now a package deal, but at least they like her. That’s always a good start.

“Anyone for a pre-dinner shot?” Nat asks, coming into the living room with a bottle of tequila in one hand, a stack of shot glasses in the other. Sam and Bucky immediately agree, but your girlfriend hesitates.

“Oh, no thank you,” Wanda says, “Uh—I don’t drink,”.

“How the hell do you survive with Y/N?” Sam asks incredulously, as he accepts a shot glass from Natasha. “She is literally the biggest party animal out of all of us,”.

“Am not,” you grumble.

“Oh, it’s no big deal, really,” Wanda assures him, ignoring you completely, “She goes out with you guys, and then I take care of her afterwards. I like it, she’s funny when she gets drunk,”.

Bucky laughs, “This is true. Y’know, I have a video of her singing Bohemian Rhapsody in—,”

“You promised me you’d delete that!” you cry indignantly.

“Really?” Wanda laughs, turning to Bucky, “Yeah, I have a couple of videos like that too, I can show you them—,”.

“You will not show them anything,” you growl threateningly.

“Show us!” Nat urges, bounding over to Wanda’s side as the latter pulls her phone out of her pocket. Steve, Sam and Bucky crowd in too.

“I hate you all,” you mutter, even though you’re secretly happy to see them getting along.

—————————————

Dinner turns out to be much more pleasant than you thought it would be. Sam and Natasha are currently in the kitchen packing away the leftovers, whilst the rest of you have retreated to the living room. You’re perched on the armrest of Sam’s ugly ass vinyl armchair, which Wanda has chosen to sit on.

“So, Wanda, Y/N tells us you work in Stark Industries?” Steve asks, as he flops down on the couch, pushing aside Bucky’s legs to make room for himself.

“Yep,” Wanda replies, “I’m in the R&D department,”.

“So what’s that like?” Bucky asks, turning his head to face her, “Do you actually get to work with the big man, or are you just in your own world doing calculations and shit?”

“It’s a bit of both,” Wanda admits, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “I don’t get to talk to Tony often, but I’ve met him a couple of times,”.

“What d’you think of him?”

“He’s a little…much, sometimes,” Wanda confesses.

Steve snorts, “Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard too,” he says. “So what’re you working on now?”

Wanda sits up straighter, eyes sparkling with excitement. “I’m actually involved in a couple of projects. The one we’re most buzzed about is the new arc reactor tech,” Wanda says, hands gesturing excitedly as she gets into a rhythm. “So Stark Tower is powered by this enormous arc reactor, which is basically an alternative energy source. Tony’s idea is to use this tech to power space exploration, which in turn means that I’ve been up to my elbows in projectile and trajectory calculations, trying to—,” Wanda cuts herself off suddenly, a pink tinge starting to colour the tops of her cheeks.

“Sorry,” she mutters sheepishly, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers in the way she does when she’s panicking, “You were probably expecting a shorter answer. I geeked out a bit there,”

“No, it’s completely fine!” Steve assures her, “This is actually kinda interesting,”.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, “I’ve always had a thing for science. Stevie and I once went to the Stark Expo a few years back. The one where they demoed the flying car?”

“Oh, that one!” Wanda exclaims, “Tony still hasn’t given up on it, y’know? He’s even thinking about making it semi-autonomous,”

“Really?” Bucky hums, “So how’d that work then?”

Wanda picks up her purse and rummages around for a scrap of paper and a pen. She flattens the paper out on the coffee table and begins to sketch out a diagram — you can’t really make out what it is from your vantage point. “So, this is what the average car looks like, right?” she begins, adding a few lines to the sketch, “Now let me show you how a floating car differs…”

You tune out her voice as you cast a glance over Steve and Bucky. Both are leaning forward to get a closer look at her diagram, wearing curious expressions on their faces. They ask questions every now and then, which Wanda answers eagerly. She is in her element, talking about the thing that she loves most and in all honesty, you couldn’t be happier for her. Confident that she can stand to be without your presence for a second, you slip into the kitchen to check up on Nat and Sam.

“Y/N!” Sam calls, smiling as you walk in, “We were just talkin’ about you, actually,”.

“That’s…not always a good thing,” you reply, picking up a spoon to scrape the last of the lasagna into a container.

“Oh no, it was all good,” Nat assures you, talking over her shoulder as she washes dishes by the sink, “We were just saying how cute the two of you are,”.

Your heart leaps with joy. “You think we’re cute?” you ask, aiming to keep your tone nonchalant despite the fact that you’re squealing internally, overjoyed that Wanda has won Nat’s affection — no simple feat.

“I think you’re great for each other,” Sam says, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the two of you are like polar opposites, but—,”

“They say opposites attract for a reason, no?” Nat interrupts, casting you a mischievous wink. “I hope she sticks around, Y/N,”.

“Yeah,” you murmur, your eyes flicking up to look at Wanda, who is laughing at something Bucky just said, the corners of her eyes crinkling up in a most adorable manner. “I hope so too,”.

————————————— Tagging: @feelmyroarrrr @rda1989 @bidianaprinxe @lumelgy @hollycornish @youtubehelpsmesurvive @knock-around-meg-blog @amour-quinn @moonbeambucky @aquabrie @sanjariti @srgntjbarnes @ssweet-empowerment @kudosia

[jojotier]

Part 1: A Summer to Remember (To Hate)

(the first chapter of the Forgotten Monarchs- Jotaro and Kakyoin run through the Australian outback looking for a stand user who’s been melting cities. Enjoy!)

“Jotaro,” Noriaki said in exasperation, “good grief, this isn’t funny. Stop laughing and help me down.”

“Who’s laughing?” Jotaro gruffly replied, but Kakyoin just knew he was laughing- no matter how much he pulled the brim of his hat down, there was no covering the humored quirk of his mouth or the way his shoulders trembled imperceptibly. At least, not when someone like Noriaki had known him as long as he did. “Not me. Especially not when you’re…” He trailed off, gestured carelessly with a hand, and Noriaki resisted the urge to reach down with Hierophant Green and smack him because dammit, he was laughing again.

Except he couldn’t use Hierophant to do much of anything right then, because the entire predicament that Jotaro was finding so hilarious included Noriaki being tangled up in rope upon rope of surprisingly strong climbing plants, Hierophant Green being in literal knots throughout the strings of vegetation, and everything being absolutely lousy with light pink trumpet flowers that deposited their petals all over Noriaki’s hair. The fact that his stand was in knots was not helping his own ensnared state, so not only did Noriaki smell like he’d been assaulted at a perfume counter but his joints ached dully from being twisted around like the dull elastic of a particularly hated pair of mandated shorts for gym class.

“Not when I’m what?” Noriaki huffed, a sour expression curling his lip in distaste for the situation, his entire sordid life and the act of existence in general, “Tied up like the dream girl tangled up in vines for some perverted animated creep show? Spun around and hung out to dry like some hipster art project gone wrong?”

“I was going to say ‘hanging there like an oversized watermelon’, but those work too.” Jotaro said bemusedly as he summoned Star Platinum to take care of the knots in Green’s elongated body. As his stand gently and methodically began to loosen up knots, Jotaro was kind enough to just take out a pocket knife and start cutting the vines ensnaring Noriaki’s legs and torso. Finally able to relax from his odd, contorted position, Noriaki sighed as the greenery on his arms fell away.

“I hate you and I want a divorce.” Noriaki sardonically muttered as Jotaro’s amusement finally seemed to die down.

“Mhm, sure thing, as long as I keep the boat.” Jotaro deadpanned as he loosened the last of the vines, finally freeing Noriaki to get reacquainted with the ground. Or more accurately, to use the momentum of his fall to step on Jotaro’s foot as hard as he could manage. Moving back quickly after having his toes stomped on, he huffed out a breath, looking at Noriaki levelly. “All I asked for was the boat, and you go assaulting me. I’m gonna need repercussions for that.”

Noriaki snorted, dusting stray petals off of himself, running his fingers through his hair so that they could return to some semblance of order without the added sprinkle of pink. “You can’t prove anything, Kujo. You can’t even prove that we’re married.”

“You’re completely right, so you don’t have a case either, because you can’t prove that we’re married. Check and mate.”

“Fuck you, Jotaro.” was the only response Noriaki could give to that. After all, it wasn’t as if they were actually married in the first place, or even close enough to even really consider… Well.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Jotaro snarked right back before snorting, shaking his head and pulling down his hat brim again. One year ago, he wouldn’t have shown more than one expression throughout that entire exchange, and only now was Noriaki beginning to see some other reactions other than a poker face on a regular basis. He’d honestly call it an accomplishment; Jotaro Kujo, who apparently thought he could emote more than a brick or something, was beginning to allow himself to have moments around him. Or perhaps Noriaki had just learned the cues for Jotaro emoting and had become attuned like some sort of strange social defense mechanism. Obviously, Noriaki liked to consider it the former- it wasn’t as if there was anything to protect himself from socially, other than the odd ramble about sea life.

“Stop projecting, Jotaro, it’s not polite,” Noriaki said smoothly, “especially not when we have a job to do.”

Ah yes, that hadn’t stopped happening in all the time that they were being distracted. They were here, all the way out in the middle of nowhere in the Outback, for a job which required professionalism and not sitting around ribbing each other over a failed attempt at containing a stand and its user. The small moment of reprieve at Noriaki’s expense had passed, and there was still the little matter of the errant stand user that had disappeared once again into the brush.

Jotaro, getting the message, nodded. “Right. Well, you were the closest to him- did you see anything that would identify him?”

“Symbols on his arms done up in white paint,” Noriaki said, shifting to a more serious tone himself. “and a red headband. That, and I believe I saw his Stand, though I can’t be too sure- a lot of things happened very quickly.”

The file that the Speedwagon Foundation had on this user was sparse, but it had some useful information; their man was half Aborigine, 170 centimeters, black hair worn in loose curls to the neck, and he always seemed to be somewhere around plant life. Now it was obvious why that would have been. “He carried around a eucalyptus branch, smelling like sage. Such a branch is usually used in smudging ceremonies, but when he beat it against the ground, it seemed to burn away the soil and from it sprang plant life.”

“I see.” Jotaro said, looking back at the plants that Noriaki had just been suspended from. Around the area that had been his temporary prison, there were an abundance of bush plants, trees which already looked to be dry, and low to the ground vegetation. It was already starting to attract hungry local animals to it, something which might have been alarming, had those animals not ran at the sight of the both of them.

“He didn’t speak when confronted.” Noriaki continued, thinking back on it. “All he did was look and then brought his branch down and fled as the vines were creeping. I tried to give chase, but…”

“You weren’t expecting it, and you got stuck.”

“Don’t remind me… but yes, that is essentially what happened.”

“So we’re dealing with a stand that’s a branch…” Jotaro said, clicking his tongue a little. “If it weren’t so damn destructive, I’d say it was about as stupid as the rest of the deck we’ve seen so far. Are we sure that this user is in the same league as the one who could only make roads split into two? The Two of Pentacles, was what he called it. Fucking useless, especially compared to this.”

That was true- after the fight with Dio, they’d thought that they’d been done with all the stands, but there were still technically four other decks in the tarot. While not nearly as important as theirs, they existed, meaning that there was bound to be stands that inevitably suggested the fifty-six additional cards. It was worrying, though, that even this relatively weaker stand was out and about; while not physically strong, the chaos it could end up bringing would end up catastrophic.

“True.” Noriaki aid after a moment or two more before looking back towards the direction where the youth had run. He shielded his eyes against the harsh sunlight, and even though the user was probably long gone, he couldn’t help but recognize that particular direction. “... Isn’t that the way to the next city over?”

“Hell if I know.” Jotaro said, “It’s just sand and brush, even with Star Platinum looking. Probably.”

“He ran in that direction. And you know what happened to the last city he was at.”

“.... Shit.”

‘Shit’ was about the best reaction that could be given, regarding the circumstances, so Noriaki just nodded and agreed pensively. “Shit.”

“Little bastard’s jerking us in circles.”

“What gave it away- the childish cold shouldered villain or the fact that we’ve seen this city three times in the span of twenty four hours?”

Noriaki glanced over at Jotaro, who was staring out the side of the jeep. It was still rather early, all things considered, and the both of them hadn’t exactly had much time to sleep over the last week with the stand user moving so fast (and with the threat of their hotel possibly melting around them), so the sun wasn’t really so unbearable at the moment. Off to the right of them was a city they’d circled innumerable times, and Noriaki privately thought that the next time around, they might not be able to recognize it.

The last time they were there, there were still the remnants of skyscrapers, weakly straining against the weight of vines and brush that forced the nearly rubbery steel girders to creak ominously under their weight. The last time, they’d had to chase the stand user through there, finding no trace of him besides the fabric of the red sheet he had tied over his chest in a strange way that caused a bit to trail out after him. If Noriaki hadn’t gotten a clear look at him, he might have classified it as some kind of jacket or handkerchief- but no, it was simply a little trail flying out behind the rather young seeming teen like a macaw's feathery tail.

Still, it had been frustrating, to catch nothing but glimpses through the surreal waterfall of modernity crashing around them. This time when circling, nothing remained above a story other than the branches of native trees reaching towards the sun, sprawling pathways of brush already being trodden by fauna and the raise of cracking plaster walls being the only sign left that there might have been civilization.

That city had been filled with people’s homes. There were hospitals and schools and the like there, and now thousands of lives were destroyed in just the sweep of a branch. It was sickening, how evil someone could be- or if not evil, needlessly, endlessly selfish. After all, he had seemed so young…

He was shaken from his reverie by Jotaro’s quiet stare, boring into him. It was the kind of stare that unnerved Noriaki far more than Jotaro’s general silence or lack of expressiveness- it was the kind of look where he seemed to be trying to find his way into someone’s head. As thick headed and dense as Jotaro could be at times, he was still alarmingly perceptive, and even after almost two years spent basically attached at the hip, Noriaki was still occasionally caught off guard.

Whatever Jotaro was searching for, he didn’t make any indication, and just turned back towards the city steadying growing smaller as Noriaki drove ahead. The only thing said was a muttered, “Good grief…” before everything lapsed once again into stillness. After all, what could be said that wasn’t already implicitly understood? They both saw what would happen should they fail to detain their foe. Noriaki turned his head to the road, and the silence would have likely remained unbroken if in that moment Jotaro’s cell phone didn’t starting blaring, nearly startling Noriaki half out of his skin.

Jotaro merely fished the bulky thing from his pocket and glared at it sourly before flipping it open, putting it up to his ear. “What the hell do you want.” There were a couple moments of silence before Jotaro let out a breath, covering the receiver with one hand as he muttered to Noriaki, “It’s the shitty old man and my mom.” Noriaki could only offer a nod in sympathy. He didn’t know where Mr. Joestar and Ms. Holly were to be on the call together, but he was guessing that Jotaro’s grandfather was taking the day off.

Which was mildly annoying, since he was the one who recommended the both of them for this mission in the first place.

Noriaki was able to catch snippets of conversation as the Jeep rolled on for a bit, then stuttered to a stop. He caught phrases as he moved to see what was wrong, only to see the tires strangely ensnared with vegetation. Sighing, he set Hierophant to work, unraveling the glowing body of his humanoid companion to slip through the thin spaces and slice away the vines.

“Yeah… Well, we got a good look at him… No, we didn’t- jesus, let me finish- but we know where he’s going. He’s heading towards Garnetsville…. Kakyoin already told me about the opal shit… Just send Speedwagon helicopters out to wait nearby. We’ll corner him there… Yeah, yeah, we heard about the earthquakes...”

Just as Noriaki got the tires free he heard Jotaro apparently switch over to talking to Holly, and just as he was getting back in the driver’s seat and the key in the ignition turned, he watched Jotaro turn away out of the corner of his eye. Then he got the faintest mutter of, “Love you too, mom.” before the phone hung up. Noriaki was able to give somewhat of a tired grin as the jeep began to roll on once again.

Jotaro glared at him from his seat. “Don’t you dare start.”

“Who, me? Start what?” Noriaki said innocently, smiling to himself. “Why would I start anything here? I just think it’s sweet, is all--”

“Tch. Shut up.”

Noriaki dropped the light teasing after that. While he might have wanted to press on a bit, now wasn’t really the time to keep persisting on teasing his friend over something so childish. After all, he wasn’t lying when he said he thought it was sweet. Jotaro did love his mother, dearly, and even went halfway around the world just one year ago to save her. Normally he might have teased just a little more… But not then. Not when the wounds were still fresh, even after nearly two years.

Noriaki’s stomach ached dully, and he was reminded that the statement held true for more than just memories.

The sun rose higher into the sky.

The sun bore down on their backs as the little roofless jeep they’d rented specifically for the purpose of chasing this nuisance, for the third time in an hour, got itself lodged in brambles. Noriaki cursed to himself as he braked, using Hierophant to slither under and get those thorny stalks out the tires. Usually these off road vehicles were supposed to just thrash whatever vegetation was underfoot, just enough to let it maybe run for a couple hours without needing to make seven different pit stops to deal with its shit.

Still, this didn’t seem like normal vegetation- it seemed to grip onto the tires of its own accord and prickle just enough to try puncturing the rubber surface and leaving them stranded. It never got to the point of doing that, but at this point, Noriaki would rather deal with that than the ceaseless frustration of thinking that things were going smoothly before another goddamn plant came along.

“At this rate we’ll arrive at about the same time as him.” Jotaro remarked from his place in the front seat. After the a previous incident involving Red Bull, a convertible, and far too many failed cigarette tricks, he was barred from ever driving a car, if Noriaki had any say on the matter. Noriaki would rather be teased about driving like an old woman than have to sit through that again. “He’s on foot- as long as he doesn’t have any helicopters carrying him to the place, it’ll probably still be there.”

There was a bit of silence as the both of them spent a few still minutes baking out in the heat. It had been at least somewhat bearable while driving, since the wind helped to cool things off when the faulty air conditioning couldn’t, but now they were stock still as Noriaki nearly felt himself sweat in double time. Wait, could stands sweat too? Considering the hot metal crevices Hierophant was weaving into Noriaki wouldn’t doubt that that might be the case.

“I don’t know if I’ll still be here with this heat.” Noriaki said, unbuttoning his uniform coat. There was a time when he just refused to take the damn thing off for aesthetic reasons, but that was a year ago and now, he knew when not to chance it.

That didn’t mean that Jotaro was on the same level of acceptance in the inherent worthlessness of aesthetic over health, and Noriaki could feel the look boring into the side of his head as he shrugged the green jacket off, revealing the white T-shirt underneath. There was some relief with the thin fabric- now it didn’t feel as if he was melting straight into the seat, even if his shirt was starting to get soaked through. Speaking of which, he turned to his companion, flushed from the heat and a heavy sheep’s wool black jacket replica of his old school uniform that he got specially made and continued wearing, in the middle of the Australian summer. “Isn’t that thing stuffy? You should probably get out of that, if the weather gets any worse, so that you don’t suffer.”

“I’ll get through it.” Jotaro gruffly said as he looked out across the desert, probably to hide the disappointment in his voice no doubt directed at himself and his ardent resistance to taking that coat off. With Hierophant Green done, Noriaki started the car again and began to drive.

There was a beat of silence before Jotaro piped up again. “With how much you wear that jacket, I figured you just went shirtless underneath.”

Taken off guard enough to choke on a laugh, Noriaki looked to Jotaro, firmly looking out towards the sand and brush and not at the person who had to deal with the silly words falling from his mouth. “It’s just not proper, to wear nothing under a jacket. What gave you the idea that I was- shirtless--?” He laughed a bit more at that, shaking his head. He could have sworn that Jotaro’s ears went red, but that was probably the heat, considering the still heavy and still very woolen coat he wore.

“I did that sometimes back in Egypt, to not be too hot. This jacket cost too damn much not to wear.” He shrugged nonchalantly and Noriaki could not believe how utterly sincere Jotaro could sound while saying something that ludicrous.

“Jotaro,” He started, stopped because that was legitimately hilarious, and then cleared his throat to make it sound like he wasn’t laughing at Jotaro. Even though he absolutely was. “That is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard, and we lived on the road with Jean-Paul Polnareff for fifty days straight.”

Jotaro glared at Noriaki and said, “Fuck you, Kakyoin.”

“Only if you buy me dinner first.” Noriaki replied.

That shut Jotaro up.

It took far longer than he wanted for them to get to Garnetsville. What was supposed to be a good hour turned into two. Most of the trip had been amicable enough, but there were only so many conversation topics and half hearted mental games of ‘Guess What the Hell Jotaro Is Thinking Now’ that he could sit through before the heat and sleep deprivation had sufficiently fermented him into a bad mood.

This wasn’t nearly as bad as Egypt. Egypt was more like Hell’s finely tuned space heater. The heat of the Australian outback was more akin to ‘lightly roasting stupid pheasants alive’. Even so, Noriaki was not someone who was made for any kind of heat. He knew that he’d voluntarily signed onto this entire investigation at the behest of old Mr. Joestar, but that didn’t mean that he was any less incensed about anything, especially after that entire earlier debacle with the vines.

Everything was silent. The heat was getting worse, and Kakyoin could practically feel the rust hinging his jaw completely shut, locked tight in one position.Then the Jeep rumbled to another complete stop, and rather peevishly, Noriaki jammed the key back into the ignition and sent Hierophant to- once again- drag more stupid goddamn lousy Australian flora from the wheels.

It was still silent as he felt Jotaro’s gaze bore into him. That wasn’t anything new- Jotaro just wasn’t a talkative person in general, and they were friends, so it wasn’t as if there was any need for any awkward small talk. Even so, he barely restrained himself from doing something stupid and rude just because the staring was grating on his already finely sliced nerves, It wasn’t fair to Jotaro, that Noriaki had himself riled up over the lack of control in a situation as silly as the fucking car rolling to a stop.

Then Jotaro said, “I’ll drive.”

“No,” Noriaki immediately objected, perhaps more sharply than he meant to, “no, not after the Red Bull Incident. I am not having a repeat of that in the middle of a foreign country while we’re on business on your grandfather’s behalf.”

“You act as if the old man’s more respectable than he actually is.” Jotaro said dismissively. There were a few beats of silence, with the only sound being Hierophant slithering through the metal sinews of the automobile and the occasional pop of parts being jostled back in place. Jotaro was still staring at him, and Noriaki tried to stay looking firmly ahead. Then Jotaro said, “Good grief… it was one time that happened. I thought we needed to get there fast anyway?”

“I’m fully aware, Kujo.” Noriaki said, fingers twitching in agitation against the wheel. “But it’s still weak. We can at least take the time not to kill ourselves on the vegetation if it decides to stop us at a particularly inopportune moment of speeding, don’t you think?”

More silence. The tension was getting heavy to the point that Hierophant might end up in knots again, caught up in the thick of it. Then, “Okay. Let me drive then. You’ll kill yourself with stewing in your own stuff, and probably end up going just as fast as I’m going to go, because you want to get this shit over with.”

Noriaki bristled. “I know myself well enough when to quit.”

“And I know you well enough to know that you’re an asshole, so even if you know when to quit you won’t.” Jotaro shot back, and Noriaki turned to meet his gaze, glaring with just as much fervor. Hierophant slid from the space between tire and car, peeking out to alert its user that it was done. Said user stayed staring unblinkingly at Jotaro before the other evidently became uncomfortable and turned away, pulling the brim of his hat down. Satisfied that he’d won, he turned back to turn the key and instead got air as he was immediately hauled up by two ethereal hands.

“What the hell--?!” He struggled against Star Platinum’s grip as it picked him up as easily as a sack of flour and deposited him into the newly empty passenger’s seat with as much precision as could be mustered. Jotaro was in the driver’s seat now and he looked at him, looking at him triumphantly. Noriaki recalled Hierophant and balled up his fist, punching the asshole in the jaw himself.

“Don’t,” He muttered, glaring even as Jotaro held his jaw, blinking, “manhandle me. I hate that and you should know that .”

Star punched Noriaki in that moment, right in the jaw, but he was pretty sure he kind of deserved it.

Jotaro started up the car again as Noriaki rubbed his jaw, ironically in the same spot he’d popped Jotaro in. All he could do then was wait for the jeep to stop so he could reclaim the driver’s seat.

This was going to be a long drive, Noriaki bemoaned to himself, running a hand through his hair.

Noriaki didn’t know when or how he fell asleep, but eventually he woke up with a hell of a headache, a vaguely aching jaw, and enough heat assaulting his person that it was a miracle he wasn’t crispy enough to serve for dinner. Which, for a second, he wanted so intensely that he nearly forgot to be cross with Jotaro for earlier or even that they were on an expedition against a new enemy. Almost.

He kept his eyes closed for a moment, just wanting a few moments to resist the incessant glare of the sun, when he realized that he was being watched intently. Jotaro should have had his eyes on the road. Noriaki cracked open an eye to chide the asshole for doing yet another reckless thing while driving, but Jotaro’s eyes were in fact on what they should have been on, not being reckless in the slightest. Star Platinum, on the other hand, held Noriaki’s bleary half-awake stare instead.

After a moment to process it, his mind helpfully supplied, What the fuck.

After taking a moment to process that thought and then deciding he didn’t care, he looked beyond Star Platinum and shifted in his seat a bit, a little cramped now that he was up and not doing something right then and immediately. He must have let the heat get to him earlier, while he didn’t have anything else to do but suffer through Jotaro’s presence in the driver seat when he damn well shouldn’t have been.

He should apologize, though. It may have been instinctive to hit Jotaro, but that didn’t make it right by any means. Especially now that Noriaki felt a little better after the impromptu nap, his jacket (which had been resting on him like a blanket- how did that happen?) sliding off of him.

Before he could figure out what to say, though, the skyline of a rather small and unimpressive city rose into the distance. A helicopter oh so discreetly painted gold flew overhead, and Star Platinum (who Jotaro must have summoned at the sound of it, and not just to watch over Noriaki while he slept like some kind of voyeur) made a sound low in its throat. Noncommittally, Jotaro muttered, “The little bastard’s getting a lift.”

That woke Noriaki the rest of the way up, and he tensed, looking at the helicopter quickly descending towards the city beyond. “He’s doing what.”

“I guess we better catch up with him.” Jotaro said, and Noriaki only had a moment to grip onto the sides of his seat before the acceleration was stomped on and the shitty little Jeep that he’d been forced to call home for the last forty-eight hours jumped full speed ahead.

Darcy was gonna have to thank the boss for the lift over to the city; sure, he knew his way through the brush well enough, but even knowing the landscape wasn’t enough to speed up time or anything of the sort. Still, the giant gold helicopter was probably not a good idea, with that Stand on one of the guys hunting him, but he was in no position to complain. All he needed to do was work fast and get the hell out of dodge.

His name was Darcy. He used to have a last name, and hell, Darcy wasn’t even his real first name, but like hell was he going to give his first name out to any random person like the information was worthless penny candy- that bit of information was precious, and no audience, invisible or otherwise, needed to know it.

Darcy climbed down the ladder quickly, years of practice and a dedication to speed helping him out, before hopping off on the ground and giving a quick salute to the miscellaneous braided pilot there. She didn’t look like any pilot to him, what with dressing that loose in the cockpit, but hell, he had no room to judge a woman in her profession based on her clothes. Besides, he wasn’t a pilot. Still she was absolutely hysterical, after she told him the important bits (the boss left Milford Sound and was headed to Tokyo, but if anyone asked, he was still in New Zealand where the earthquakes were happening, Ace got captured, the works) and loosened up a little. She must have been pretty important, if she had enough information on the bozos chasing him to do impressions of them!

Still, he looked towards the concrete monoliths rising above him and his gut twisted something fierce. Here lay all the modern conveniences of human intervention, breaking up the natural scenery of the bush with ugly gray and glass walls.

Darcy brought the branch down upon the ground, and watched as the asphalt under his feet melted with every little leaf that touched it. It fizzled, boiling for only a moment before evaporating into nothingness in the air, leaves being the first creepings of the bush to follow underneath it, spreading more plants, melting more of the manmade hell they’d turned this place into. He brought the branch down a second time and civilians began to shout with surprise and awe as the ground underneath them cracked and dissolved, showing them the real soil for what Darcy would guess as the first time in some of their lives.

This was the power of his stand- to level cities and allow the Earth to take back everything that it was bound to reclaim.

Of course, there were drawbacks, like there were with everything. The cracks didn’t go that far- maybe a little over a hundred meters in radius around where the branch hit- and there were a lot of square meters in the city to cover in a relatively short amount of time. That meant that he had the pleasure of taking a deep breath and then running forward, running low with his arm dangling down so that the branch could bring its mayhem to the rest of the place.

For the first fifteen minutes of running, everything went according to plan. His plants parted the way and made things easier, letting him grip onto the crumbling bars of the first large buildings to start to melt away and carrying him faster than if he even was running. There were people screaming and running as their livelihoods crumbled, yes, and he was cognizant that there would be consequences, but the sooner these people were freed from the illusion of needing to rely on everything modern the sooner things would be better for them and everything else. Kill the city-goer, save the man.

He always made sure that the abandoned tall ones were gone first, just so the inhabited ones could evacuate. After all, it wasn’t their fault that this was the life they knew- they probably had no one to teach them different.

Sure, right then the means weren’t ideal, but anything to get to the end result was fair game.

Still, it brought a smile to Darcy’s face to see it- the flowers and natural brush taking form, poking through melting cracks of concrete and winding their way around the slowly dripping sculptures of steel skeletons peeking through. There might have been personal affects, sure, but Darcy never got to see the individualized pieces of the city- they were always first to melt down into nothing. Despite this, it didn’t bother him any- not when there was a lot more to do, and not when he didn’t exactly have many personal affects of his own to really know what it might have been like to care for things like that.

Just as he was making his way to the heart of the city, all hell broke loose in the form of a speeding Jeep crashing through the quickly liquefying remnants of a cheerful looking apartment building.

“This is worse than the Red Bull Incident,” Noriaki mumbled to himself, looking somewhat faint.

“Why, because of the surrealist dada bullshit going on around us?” Jotaro said, eyes staring ahead at the mess emanating from that brown figure in red.

“While the apparent influence reality is taking from Dali certainly isn’t helping, no, that’s not why.” Noriaki said as his fingers dug into the leather seats. “This is worse because you still drive like a fucking lunatic while completely sober. ”

“Well we’re here, so no more complaining,” He huffed as the tires of the poor, abused automobile screeched on the melting remains of civilization with a forced drift. Jotaro was driving towards the stand user and his stand, but instead of moving away, the young teen looked the both of them dead in the eye and stayed rooted firmly in place. That was the point when everything suddenly felt much more wet underneath Noriaki.

“Jotaro, get the hell out!” Noriaki hissed as he unbuckled himself and let Hierophant Green wrap itself around him. He was lifted out the melting Jeep as Jotaro jumped out, rolling on the ground through the slowly evaporating remnants of a mural decorated building and leaving behind a pile of vaguely hissing mush. That was going to be hell to explain to the insurance…

Noriaki gently stepped on the ground as Jotaro stood up, black coat dripping with enough color to make an artist blush and face dripping with absolute murder.

“This is my favorite coat- do you realize how damn expensive it was?”

While that was apparently a good enough reason as any to fight the kid currently grinning there, he didn’t get a chance to try, because thorny brambles had taken the initiative and ensnared him by the legs, digging in quickly. Just as Star Platinum had reached out towards the villain, he was already turning and running away, dragging the large, smoking branch along after him. Noriaki cursed, and after giving Jotaro an apologetic backwards glance, ran after the miscreant himself. He knew Jotaro’s abilities, and he knew he’d gotten himself out of worse trouble than this. He trusted that he’d catch up in time and they’d both get this little bastard.

But until then, this was Noriaki’s chase, and he was going to make full use of what time he had. With Hierophant Green, it was easier to spot where creeping vines tried to trap him and cut through them, letting him give chase without being surprised for a second time. Just as protection, though, he had Hierophant unravel enough to spread tendrils under his feet and in a small one meter radius around him, with more in front to act as a shield in case of any projectiles, as unlikely as that might have been.

Looking to the melting girders of a building, though, gave Noriaki somewhat of an idea for a plan. It was rushed and half formed, but...

While stewing over it, he watched as large trees sprung up and grew towards the sky, affixing themselves to the remnants of street lamps and taking them over, glowing eerily as it blocked out most of the hot sunlight like some deformed mass of followers in a cult. Of the trees in front of him, blocking his path, they were no match for one well placed Emerald Splash to cut them to ribbons and gain Noriaki entrance through to where the perpetrator was running ahead, aided by moving floors of vines and branches that carried him forward to apparent infinity. Didn’t he ever need a break? Or was this simply an ability that was making it easier for this one to rest while on the run?

Whatever the case, there was no way that Noriaki was going to give up just yet. Spotting some vines on the wall, moving with the strange flesh-like finesse of life, he decided to go ahead and take advantage as well by wrapping some of the tendrils he kept around himself around the plant and swinging along for the ride.

When the kid looked back (because really, he looked like a kid, maybe no older than seventeen if Noriaki was going to be generous) he saw no sign of any Kakyoin, and that moment of balking was all that was needed. Running along the wall, he let Hierophant disengage and managed to kick him in the side, sending him to the ground with his stand, wheezing and under the mercy of his next attack.

“Emerald Splash!”

The green projectiles ended up grazing the teen as this slick foe rolled out of the way, using vines to quickly move himself away from the full brunt of it. Some of them caused nicks, bleeding and not too bad, but Noriaki could see the wood of his stand splintering somewhat.

How troublesome, to have such a fragile thing as a stand- it could be easily crushed, if only it was within reach. Unfortunately for Noriaki (though perhaps fortunate for this troublemaker), the objective of this mission was never to hurt the user unless absolutely necessary. Joseph made it very clear- so long as the user didn’t intentionally harm civilians in a direct way, the users were to be captured and taken in to see what information they knew and whether or not they could be persuaded to work for the Foundation. With so precious few Stand Users in the world, it was always a good thing to have more on the side of good.

At most, this particular leg of everything was a glorified retrieval, and Kakyion Noriaki was nothing if not endlessly persistent in what he pursued. Especially after the tiresome chase the enemy stand had so kindly treated them to.

The user scrambled back up and vines attempted to restrict Hierophant and twist him up into knots again. Thankfully, Noriaki had learned his lesson, and weaving through the errant threats was mere child’s play once the element of surprise was taken out and the ability of his stand to unravel was factored in. He dodged through the vines and cut away many to escape from being knotted with each other, and followed in hot pursuit as the user cursed loudly.

Then, he turned sharply into an untouched alleyway, dragging his branch and beginning to melt the two steel buildings on either side.

This was perfect- just what Noriaki needed to get everything ready. Hierophant Green knew exactly what to do, and Noriaki, now confident, ran out ahead of his stand to meet with his target in the relative solitude that this crevice would provide before it all melted away.

He stepped forward without the shield, and that was where he seemed to make his greatest mistake.

Vines curled around his ankles and wrists, stringing him up with the force of twenty thousand kilos of weight tugging on each, lifting him up into the air and forcing him to fruitlessly struggle against it. The teen below looked up at him, panting, but with a triumphant and perhaps thankful little grin. The damned plants must have gripped onto the steel infrastructure. Noriaki scowled, bristling at the little relieved laugh the user gave as he got out, “You know this won’t last with the steel as is.”

“It doesn’t need to last!” was the grinning answer, “I mean, you already know what my vines can do. That, and the rest of my plants.” He leaned against the large branch, taking a couple deep breaths.

“I don’t know the full extent, but I suppose you’re about to enlighten me.” Noriaki said dryly.

“You bet- it’s practically an honor code, isn’t it? To talk about your stand to the villain?” The teen straightened up and introduced himself. “My name’s Darcy, and my stand is Purification Passage; came up with that name myself. It’s the stand that suggests the Page of Pentacles, suggesting common sense and responsibility, a burden that leads to and is wealth. With this branch,” He held it up as if Noriaki couldn’t see it, “I can make my own fire stick burning to burn man made civilization away and let nature reclaim it.”

“If it’s an honor code, allow me to honor it as well, Darcy of Pentacles.” Noriaki said calmly. “My name is Kakyoin Noriaki, and my stand Hierophant Green suggests the Hierophant. With my stand, I can do this !”

And with that the vines were cut away by a well timed splash, all knotted up in their melting steel prisons. Darcy started, taking a couple steps back before Hierophant’s tendrils, which had been spreading underneath the vines and in between beams, burst out around him, trapping him in vines of Noriaki’s own making. It wasn’t quite everything he wanted to do, but this would suffice. The teenager struggled against his bonds as Noriaki stepped forward, rubbing his wrists.

“My, how the tables turn, Darcy.” He smiled amicably, because now that he was back in control of the situation, he could let his troubled conscience rest a moment. “Now, I suppose it’s customary for the villain to give his reasoning for everything, isn’t that right?”

Darcy said nothing for a moment, looking at Noriaki with wide- and perhaps fearful- eyes. Then, his face hardened with some nameless determination, and he said sweetly, “Yes, it is customary- so go on. Explain your reasoning.”

Noriaki’s eyebrows raised at the mouth on this stand user, but considering that he was supposed to be held for the Foundation, he supposed he had no choice but to comply, if only to try gaining his trust. “Well, believe it or not right now- I’m not the villain. I came on behalf of the Speedwagon Foundation with my associate because you’ve been literally melting cities away into nothingness, putting hundreds out of work and leaving at least a thousand homeless. Not to mention the property damage on that… Well. But I’m sure your reasoning was sound, wasn’t it? You wanted those mines dug for your employer for some reason? Or was there some other resource underneath the surface…?”

They didn’t quite know the company that was sending these stand users out as of yet, but they did narrow it down to a couple oil and mining companies. “Mines?” Darcy asked sharply, startled. “There were never any mines in the agreement. If you must know, my employer sends me out to take care of small scale cities with the most potential for destroying everything around it! I came out here to start changing things back to what they used to be, before…”

“Before industrialization.” Noriaki finished, clicking his tongue. “Tell me, why would he send you to cities where a specific brand never appears? Especially ones over such large confirmed opal reserves...”

“No- that can’t be right! I was shown the maps- there were never any--” Darcy spluttered for a moment, wide eyed before he shook his head. “No. You’re lying. Mr. S would never sit there and lie to my face. He was the one who contacted me-- he needs me, he said, he said, he needs me because I can use my Stand to…”

Honestly, seeing this is enough to bring back painful memories; with a silver enough tongue, any seventeen year old would be naive enough to fall under the thrall of some manipulative figure. The feeling prickling at the back of Noriaki’s neck, and then again deep in his abdomen where the scars still lay, wasn’t a good one in the slightest, but he pressed on nonetheless. If only because, in this rare moment of pity, he could see something genuine in the wide eyed disbelief that this Darcy was showing at hearing about mines.

“Well, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not now, because the Speedwagon Foundation has more than enough evidence to put even the most severely doubtful mind at ease.” Noriaki said smoothly as he reached down and picked up the dropped branch. Darcy’s breath caught in his throat, and that was good- he already knew how dangerous that was.

“Now, as for this- I’ll let you hold it- while still wrapped up, mind you- if you would be so kind as to point us to the direction of your boss.”

His captive was silent for a few moments before finally saying, quietly, as if afraid of what would happen, “Last I heard, he landed in Milford Sound, New Zealand, for some business. I don’t know what business, but it was something important, was what they told me.”

“Among other things they’ve told you, I’m sure.”

Nodding with that information, Noriaki freed one of Darcy’s hands enough to give him the branch back. Darcy held onto the stand like a lifeline for a moment before allowing it to disappear completely, stopping all the melting happening around the both of them. Now with free room to breathe, Noriaki took a deep breath and allowed Hierophant to reconfigure itself so that it only tied Darcy’s wrists together and prodded him along.

“Come along, then-” He pressed a button that he’d kept strapped to the inside of one of his uniform jacket sleeves, signalling the Foundation. “They’ll be here to pick you up soon enough.”

After a helicopter with several stand users had Darcy safely away, Noriaki was free to ponder a more pressing concern- just where in the hell was Jotaro? He’d thought that he would have caught up by now, and by the time he should have been worrying before he had been too caught up in his fight to actually do much of anything except deal with everything as it came.

Walking through the remnants of the little city was surreal. There hadn’t been any time for him to really take it in before, on account of fighting and being caught up in the implications of this boss of Darcy’s, but now that he saw with fresh eyes it was, for lack of better term, a clusterfuck.

Walls and structures that shouldn’t have been able to melt were melting, steel and concrete mixing with the withering remains of flowers that should be blooming in spring and not summer and making a strange, nearly ethereal semi-inorganic result. The little forest of street lamp trees guiding him away from the alleyway gave way to streets filled with startled civilians, mayhem as they tried to dig out the remnants of singed microwaves and melted teddy bears from their homes, and the light from the afternoon sun. Everything was strange, like a painting allowed to have shape. One might even call it downright bizarre.

He made his way through the streets, searching for any sign of Jotaro when coincidentally he heard a little boy say, “Mommy look!! There’s a bird-man in that tree!!”

His eyes followed the line of sight of the boy and he had to cover his mouth because he found Jotaro.

He hadn’t managed to get out of those plants after all, and by then he was all twisted around in the brambles and branches of a rather large, dry tree reinforced with steel, a half melted lightbulb glowing by his face and shadows behind him looking like the vaguest outline of wings despite them being nothing more than shadow and branches.

Oh yes. Karma was sweet.

He meandered up to the tree, purposefully casual as he called up, “Well, hello there, Jotaro! Fancy seeing you up there! You know, making a nest this time of afternoon’s not a good idea, even if it’s shady where you are.” He snickered a bit under his breath, having to bring a hand up to cover his wide grin.

“Don’t you dare fucking laugh, Kakyoin.” He glared back, but all that venom certainly lost its bite when he looked like some tattered, deformed scarecrow in that tree. “When I get down from here, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Who’s laughing?” Noriaki grinned wolfishly. “Not me. I mean, good grief, just look at you up there, like a…”

“You shut up right now.”

“... like a big, confused emu in Hot Topic!”

“I hate you.”

“What are you going to do about it? Get a divorce?”