#if y'all find mistake please let me know so i can edit them!

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

PART 5

"A little over 2 weeks after the bullshit 2.0 tweets, Louis went and got the dagger tattoo.

Its significance cannot be overstated.

After the ARIA Awards, Louis (and Zayn) went to Bondi Ink in Sydney where Louis got 2 new tattoos.

The dagger is in the exact same place as Harry’s rose on the opposite arm. It is also from this website [link no longer active] and is something we have been talking about happening for over a year. [We had hoped for it happening and then Lou went and DID IT. 🥹 It was an indescribable feeling of relief, joy and strength.]

Smiley Face on wrist (Louis) - Bondi Ink [Louis' 34th tattoo]

Given a Chance (Louis) - Bondi Ink [Louis' 35th tattoo]

[Meta: The tattoo is Harry's handwriting and here is why. Thank you, @skepticalarrie]

April 17, 2015*

Tiger (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 51st tattoo]

Meta: Fans first saw the tiger tattoo in Australia on the On the Road Again Tour in February 2015, but it’s possible he’s had it since July 2014. Harry confirmed it was a tiger on the Radio 1 Breakfast interview filmed on 12 November 2015.

December 4, 2015

“Late, Late” (Harry) - Boo Boo Negrete (FN) [Harry's 52nd tattoo]

Meta: Harry got the words “late, late” on his arm by the heart after playing (and losing) a game on the James Corden show.

December 19, 2015

28 (Louis) - Nick Colella (Great Lakes Tattoo) [Louis' 36th tattoo]

[Meta: Why the number 28 is extremely significant for Louis (and Harry). 💙💚]

Ass tattoo (Louis) - Nick Colella (Great Lakes Tattoo) [Louis' 37th tattoo]

Beer Mug (Louis) - Nick Colella (Great Lakes Tattoo) [Louis' 38th tattoo]

Meta: Louis was in Chicago to be seen with and near Danielle Campbell’s family. In the middle of a hilarious fan service tour of the greater Chicagoland area, Louis went to Great Lakes Tattoo near Noble Square and got “several” tattoos, according to the artist and fans he later met. [...]

December 29, 2015*

Eagle (Harry) - Unknown UK [Harry's 53rd tattoo]

Meta: Sometime between 7 December 2015 and 23 December 2015, Harry got the eagle tattoo, covering the lone tattoo on his right arm: “Things I Can." The timing appears symbolic as they group heads into their much anticipated break, with many fans speculating they are leaving Syco Music and Modest! Management. Eagle tattoos are often symbols of freedom. [updated source]

[2016

Half a heart (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 54th tattoo]

Meta: A matching tattoo with one of Kings of Leon.]

January 31, 2017*

Arlo & Jackson (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 55th & 56th tattoo]

Meta: Harry was seen with 2 new tattoos in LA, but a stalker fan from the UK knew what the “Arlo” tattoo said before anyone saw it, so it is presumed he got both tattoos sometime while in the UK in late 2016 or early 2017. 

On April 20, 2017, Harry said on the Graham Norton show the “Jackson” tattoo was for his godson, [possibly Cal Aurand's son, Jackson (source)]

March 25, 2017*

Bee (Harry) - Unknown (Harry's 57th tattoo)

Meta: [...] In a radio interview Harry did with the BBC 1 Breakfast Show on 7 April 2017, Harry was asked about the tattoo but declined to comment, instead deflecting to his “Jackson” tattoo. [...]

FURTHERMORE, this is a guy who has a “thigh-ger” tattoo (tiger on his thigh) and a butterfly on his stomach and “big” on his big toe and he just got a bee on his ARM, at essentially the same time Steve Aoki referred to Louis’ dedicated fans as an “army of bees.”  [...]" •

[From here, I will add the rest of the recent tattoos and 2 that were missing in the timeline:

April 2017*

R on his arm (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 58th tattoo]

Meta: I could not find a source in which Harry confirmed it, but it could be an R for his step-father Robin (and who unfortunately passed away in June 2017). Take this with a grain of salt though, please.

11 May 2017*

Cross with B on chest (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 59th tattoo]

27 Jul 2018

X on arm (Louis) - Robbie Williams [Louis' 39th tattoo]

2019

RG (Louis) - Richard G. [Louis' 40th tattoo]

Meta: "Richard's Bucket List Official Video" was released on 24 April 2019. in this video Louis helps a man named Richard who lost his wife to Alzheimer's disease in 2016 (the same year Louis lost his mum to Leukemia) to fulfil items on his bucket list: fly a helicopter, drive a race car, give Louis a tattoo, go on a rollercoaster and sing in front of a live audience." (source)

Palm Tree (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 60th tattoo]

Meta: a matching tattoo with Gemma and perhaps also Lottie, too. (thank you, @twopoppies!)

Colazione on his thigh (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 61st tattoo]

Meta: “Breakfast” in Italian. Theories include that it’s the name of a cat that belongs to a hotel in the town of Civita, where he owns a home.

the letter E (Louis) - Unknown [Louis' 41st tattoo]

April 2019

Mary (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 62nd tattoo]

Meta: "Believed to be for his nan when she passed (but also a euphemism for a gay man. Coupled with the Eagle tattoo, it’s a possibility it refers to both)"

Oui, Non, Si, No on both knees (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 63rd tattoo]

Meta: He tweeted some of these things before getting them tattooed about 6 years later.

5 April 2023

Symbols on fingers on right hand (Louis) - Unknown (Louis' 42nd tattoo)

July 2023*

Olma/Olivia (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 64th tattoo]

Meta: Please see my Olma tattoo tag for this.

•

A few strays that escaped the original timeline from back then:

October 2012

Screws on ankles (Harry) - [Harry's 65th tattoo] (well, not really, because 2012, but I can't change the reblogs so.. this will have to do in order to keep track)

Meta: We first heard about them October 12th, 2012 when Louis and Liam got matching screws. I think Zayn did them in a hotel room."

October 2013

Skeleton playing card (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 66th tattoo]

Meta: There's a theory that it matches Louis' skull on his left arm, with the playing card symbols around his wrist; the colors and theme do match!

1957 and 1967 on his collarbones (Harry) - Unknown [Harry's 67th tattoo]

Meta: The birthyears of his biological (and divorced) parents, Desmond Styles and Anne Twist.

2013

Triangle ankle tattoo (Louis) - Possibly done in Dublin or in London at Skunx. [Louis' 43rd tattoo]

😌🏳️‍🌈

•

My (Paz') own thoughts: I'm repeating myself, but I do find it deeply significant that as soon as the hiatus (aka: a potential way into freedom) started, Harry and Louis slowed down to an almost glacier pace when it comes to getting tattoos - compared to the time during the band. Harry got almost 80% of all his 67 tattoos within 3,5 years in the band. Louis even got over 90% of all his 43 tattoos within 3 years in the band. And then he got zero tattoos for 3 years into the hiatus.*

Harry got 53 tattoos between early 2012 and end of 2015. He got 14 tattoos within the next 9 years, until today Nov 2024.*

Louis got 39 tattoos between late 2012 and end of 2015. He got 4 tattoos within the next 9 years, until today Nov 2024.* (*that we know of)

It clearly shows what a beautiful and powerful way to express themselves to the world it was for them; as individuals, but also deeply bonded and visually belonging together. a quiet, visual rebellion; their skin constantly speaking the words they couldn't say.

also: Harry's Cover Ups - (here is a post with pictures)

It's noteworthy that Louis has not covered up any tattoo of his. For Harry, it's important not just to note that he covered up 5 of his tattoos, but also which ones and from what year. (standpoint Nov 2024) All 5 of the tattoos Harry had covered up were from 2012 - a time where the iron closet started to have a tight grip on Louis and him. All 5 tattoos were written phrases that could possibly be connected to his sexuality or relationship - a summary: 1) the "LOVE banner" -- covered with 2 swallows that resemble Lou & him 2) "I can't change..." -- covered with an anchor, matching Louis' pre-existing rope 3) "Might as well..." -- covered with laurels; laurels often symbolize victory 4) "Things I can't" -- covered by a Holy Bible (I Can't: Holy Bible?) 5) "Things I can" -- covered by an Eagle (I Can: Freedom?)] Since the start of the band's hiatus, Harry has not covered up a single tattoo in almost 10 years. Harry and Louis have at least 5 beautifully obvious matching tattoos: Oops + Hi Rope + Anchor Ship + Compass Anatomical Heart + Arrow Rose + Dagger

Let's see if this particular list will grow again someday (◡‿◡✿) • For additional resources: @bulletprooflarry's timelines (thank you, darling, for everything) Gina's Harry's Tattoos tag and Louis' Tattoos tag (thank you, @twopoppies) Daisie's Tattoos tag (thank you, @daisiesonafield-blog) Allie's Tattoos tag (thank you, @skepticalarrie) My tattoos tag

TIMELINE: TATTOOS TO DATE

This is organized by date. All tattoos are linked to photos, unless they are major tattoos I want to talk about, in which case I have inserted the photos into the post. (Special thanks to thelegohouselove and their wonderful tattoo masterposts with pictures)

Dates are dates I believe they actually got the tattoos. If I can’t find a date they got the tattoo, I have indicated it with a “*” which is the first date we saw the tattoo. 

Before we begin, fun facts that might blow your mind:

Harry has 56 tattoos that we know of.

Louis 38 tattoos that we know of. 

Harry got 30 of his 56 tattoos between June and October 2012. That’s, on average, about 8/month.

Louis got 10 of his 37 between October and December 2012. That’s, on average, about 5/month.

The most Harry ever got on one day is 4. He got 13 in a 7 day period in October 2012. The most Louis ever got on one day was 5 on February 25 of 2013.

Artist counts for Harry: Tom Atkins (10); Liam Sparkes (10); Freddy Negrete (8); Kevin Paul (3). 

Artist counts for Louis: Skunx (7); Liam Sparkes (4); Freddy Negrete (4).

Some of this stuff isn’t an exact science. Some of it is me making an educated guess, especially involving some of Harry’s tattoos in October and Louis’ “The Rogue” vs. “It is what it is” and Harry’s 3 Nails. So bear that in mind. 

Over all, this should give you a good idea of just how much the tattoos seem to be an outlet during highly-closeted and stressful times (Harry’s June-October spree that gave way to the birds, ship & compass and butterfly and Louis’ October-December Haylor spree), not only in date alone, but also in the subject of the tattoo.

Thank you to Kerry, Jess & awesomeanonfriend for the cheerleading and fact-checking and Angela for her insight. 

Let’s do this.

Keep reading

[imaginespazzi]

Part 9: These Moments Of Ours

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 10 - Part 11

Just crash, it's our time now (to make this work second time around)

(In which a people-pleasing author gives the people what they've been begging for)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff with a little bit Angst

Words: 7.2K Words

TW: Explicit Sexual Content, Swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Thank you for being oh so patient with me because I know I really made y'all wait and hopefully it'll be worth the wait. I'm gonna keep this pretty short and sweet today so onto the usual. Please keep sending me your thoughts and theories; they're the best motivation a girl could ask for. I did edit but feel free to point out the inevitable typos/mistakes. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves :)

April 2030 

UConn 84   Notre Dame 82 

The blue and white section of the Moda Center crowd erupts in cheers as the final buzzer rings through the stadium. Confetti rains down on the court as the UConn Huskies are crowned national champions once again. Paige’s scream is drowned out by KK’s louder whoop as the two of them excitedly wrap their arms around each other, jumping up and down like they’re college students all over again. 

“Oh okay, love the inclusion,” Ice rolls her eyes but it morphs into a grin as her former teammates pull her into their group hug, all three of them making a ruckus that’s drowned out by the crowd around them roaring in excitement. 

“Can y’all be a little quieter. I’m tryna mourn my Irish in peace,” Sonia says lousily, glaring at them in irritation as she fiddles with her clover bracelet. 

“Oh cheer up Citron,” Paige teases her Wings teammate, “at least y’all finally made it back to the Final Four.”

“Fuck all the way off Bueckers-”

“GO HUSKIES,” a loud voice interrupts Sonia’s grumbling as Jana rushes into their section, the Valkyries center smiling vibrantly as she crashes into her old friends, “BLEED BLUE BABY!”

“Bleed blue!” the three UConn faithful chorus back as Sonia glumly saunters over to Maddy Westbeld who had come over with Jana, the two Fighting Irish alum sharing a commiserating hug. 

“This is why everyone finds you Huskies insufferable,” Maddy says with disgust. 

“Because we just keep winning? There, there little leprechauns,” Ice taunts, light-heartedly patting Maddy and Sonia’s heads as both of them bristle and flash the Wings forward with a synchronized middle finger, “I’m sure you’ll catch up to us never.”

Paige is about to join in on the ribbing when KK turns to Jana with a frown, “where’s Azzi? I thought all of y’all came together.”

She shouldn’t care this much anymore. It’s been five years and Paige thinks it’s a little ridiculous how quickly her ears perks up at the mention of her girlfriend, thinks it’s a little pathetic how she leans in closer to Jana, embarrassingly eager to hear the answer to KK’s question. 

“We did. She wanted to go call her parents to check on Stephie,” Jana explains. 

KK rolls her eyes, her face as disappointed as Paige feels, “of course she did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Jana narrows her eyes at the shorter woman, a protective edge to her tone.  

“It means that this avoidance bullshit Azzi’s on is pretty fucking tired,” KK sneers. 

“KK bro chill,” Ice steps in immediately, looking worriedly between her two friends as Jana’s eyes flash with fire. 

“She’s checking on her daughter KK. She’s not trying to avoid anything,” Jana’s quietness is in stark contrast with the loud cheers around them and Paige swallows the guilt clawing at her throat. This is their fault. Her and Azzi’s. They’d caused an earthquake in their own lives and the aftershocks had rippled throughout their friends and families, creating rubble where there had once been solid foundations. 

KK laughs bitterly, “she had to check on her daughter right now? The game ended like three fucking seconds ago and she couldn’t just wait?”

“You’re being unfair.”

“Why are you always defending her?”

“Because she’s my teammate and it’s not all her fault,” Jana spits out, eyes briefly darting towards Paige who digs her fingernails into her palm, “it’s not her fault that she doesn’t always feel welcome around certain people.”

“And how about the rest of us people who’d really like to see her once in a while?” hurt tinges in KK’s words, “she can’t put the other shit aside for one fucking second?”

Jana opens her mouth, ready to defend her Azzi again but before she can speak, a calm voice cuts in, “hi guys.”

Goosebumps rush up Paige’s arms as she takes in the sight of the ex-girlfriend. There’s nothing extravagant to Azzi’s outfit, a simple UConn sweatshirt paired with black ripped jeans and minimal jewelry but she looks as radiant as always. There’s an awkward tension in the air as Azzi warily takes in the way KK and Jana are still glaring at each other. Her eyes accidentally lock with Paige and the blonde can see the same guilt of this is our collateral damage reflected back in those dark brown orbs. 

“Hi Azzi,” Ice is the first one to break the silence, wrapping the Valkyries shooting guard in a hug, “how’s Stephanie?”

Paige watches as Azzi’s eyes light up at the mention of her daughter's name, all of her previous apprehension gone as she begins to gush about the little girl, “she’s good. Somehow manipulated my dad into letting her stay up past her bedtime but good. She’s only two years old but already such a damn menace,” the brunette’s gaze wanders over to KK, “I guess that was to be expected huh? Any child of mine was bound to be one.”

KK cracks a half smile, bumping her shoulder against Jana’s as a truce sign, “you call it being menace, we call it being smart as hell right El Alfy?”

“Dude that’s what I tell her every time,” Jana immediately accepts the white flag, slinging an arm around the shorter woman, “Azzi just has genius children. Me, you, Nés and now Stephie.”

Ice gawks at the two of them, “seriously?”

“Well you see Ice, statistically she can’t have all genius children. Someone needed to be average,” KK mocks, high-fiving a giggling Jana. 

“Are y’all seeing this bullying?” Ice rounds on Paige and Azzi, hands on her hips with dramatically wide eyes, “are y’all really gonna let them bully your favorite child like this?”

“We don’t have favorites,” Paige and Azzi say at the same, pausing abruptly at the resurgence of familiar synchronicity between them. They glance briefly at each other, shuffling nervously, before immediately looking away. 

“I hate all of y’all,” Ice pouts, petulantly folding her arms against her chest. 

“Aw cheer up Icey,” Jana pats the top of Ice’s head, “how about a round of shots at the hotel bar to cheer you up?” she turns to Maddy and Sonia, who’d been having their own conversation, with a devilish grin, “losing team’s paying.”

“Y’all are sore winners,” Maddy huffs. 

Paige’s eyes dart towards Azzi, waiting for the younger woman to come up with a shallow excuse like she usually does to get out of having to spend more time with the blonde than necessary. And she knows that it’s unfair of her, knows that it’s only natural for someone to actively avoid being stuck in the same place as their past -thinks only a fool like her could want to be in their ex’s presence- but every time Azzi escapes being around her, Paige can’t help the disappointment that curls in her stomach. 

“Y’all coming,” KK asks, a slight edge to her voice as she twists to look at Paige and Azzi. 

“Of course,” Paige grins, locking arms with Sonia who immediately groans, “I’m not passing up free drinks. Especially not when the Irish are paying.”

“Az?” KK’s eyes are hopeful. 

Azzi bites her lip and Paige can almost see the cogs turning in her brain before she schools her features into a soft smile, “yeah. I’ll come.”

*** 

Paige isn’t sure how it happens. Well actually, that’s not quite right. She definitely has an idea of how it happened. She’s not quite sure when KK, Ice and Jana had had time to devise the plan but she’s certain that’s how it happened. Because really, there’s no other reasonable explanation for how she and Azzi have ended up being the only two people, from their previous party of seven, that are still sitting at the bar. Maddy and Sonia had left first, muttering under their breaths about not wanting to be around insufferable winners. Ice had been the next to leave, making up an excuse about how she wanted to call her boyfriend. Then Jana had apparently needed the bathroom. When she hadn’t returned in a solid 15 minutes, it was KK’s turn. A barely disguised grin and a hard-to-believe lie of  I think Jana got lost, I should go help her on her lips as she’d excused herself to the sound of Paige and Azzi’s protests. 

The two of them sit in awkward silence for a bit until Azzi suddenly bursts out laughing, the corner of her eyes crinkling. Paige regards her with amusement, trying to ignore the way the sound of the younger woman laughing feels like hearing her favorite song come on in the car on a warm summer road trip. 

“You’re a little young to be going crazy,” she remarks. 

“Shut up,” Azzi rolls her eyes, lightly punching Paige’s shoulder, “it’s just- they’re still all really shitty liars.”

Paige laughs, “and they still come up with the dumbest plans.”

“Do you remember when they locked us in the Werth changing rooms when we had that stupid fight-”

“Hey,” Paige interrupts indignantly, “it wasn’t stupid-”

“It was definitely stupid-”

“You asked Carol to drive you to rehab instead of me.”

“Because you had practice at the same time.”

“I wouldn’t have minded being five minutes late to practice.”

Azzi snorts, “more like half an hour and you sure as shit wouldn’t have been fine when coach would have yelled at you and made you run suicides after.”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Paige shrugs, “running suicides would have been worth it for an extra hour with you.”

Azzi stares at her, mouth opening and closing several times before she finally looks away, a soft sigh falling from her lips, “you’re doing it again.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Paige says, unable to keep the defensiveness from creeping into her words. 

“You are,” Azzi slips off the barstool, “you are and you don’t even know it.”

“Azzi,” Paige curls her hand around the other woman’s bicep, pulling her in to stop her from leaving and it’s a bad idea because now they’re too close and her heartbeat quickens immediately at the fact that if she leaned in just a little bit more, there would be no more space left between them, “what am I doing?”

“You’re- you-” Azzi stutters, gulping as her eyes briefly flicker down to Paige’s lips, “you’re making me feel.”

“Making you feel what?” Paige presses. 

For a second, Paige thinks Azzi might just give in to her heart, might just tell the truth but then something hardens in her face, and the next word that slips out of her mouth has both of them going rigid, “how’s your wife Paige?”

“Az-”

“I should go to bed,” Azzi says firmly, trying to wriggle out of Paige’s tightening grip. 

“Azzi-”

“I have an early flight and I should probably wake up a little earlier than I normally would cause you know Jana’s gonna need me to wake her up,” Azzi rambles still trying to twist her arm out of Paige’s hold. 

“Hold on-”

“Can you just let go of me-”

“I’m trying to tell-”

“I really need to get to bed-’

“Az-”

“I have to go-”

“Azzi I’m getting a divorce,” Paige bursts out; the admission feels light a heavy weight off her chest.

Azzi stops fighting against the blonde’s grip, “oh.”

“We’ve- um-” Paige’s throat feels dry as Azzi’s eyes continue to bore into her, “we’ve been separated for a while and I finally-uh- finally filed the papers a little while ago. So um- to your question- I uh- I don’t know how she is because I- I don’t- there uh- there isn’t- there isn’t a wife.”

There’s silence for a bit as Azzi’s head bops up and down as she processes Paige’s revelation, “I’m um-” she clears her throat, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like it’s your fault,” and that’s not completely true -not when Olivia had repeatedly thrown the past back in Paige’s face- but she doesn’t think Azzi needs to know that, doesn’t want the younger woman to feel guilty for things beyond her control. She’s confused when Azzi flinches, like a memory has just pinched her nerves. 

“Right,” Azzi bites, “I really should- I really should be going to bed.”

Something gloomy settles across Paige’s heart as she nods at the brunette’s words, slipping out of her own chair as they start walking towards the elevator in the lobby. She feels antsy, like she’s leaving something incomplete. The silence rings loud between them as they wait for the elevator doors to open, keeping as much distance as they can from each other. It feels like ages before the familiar ding! finally rings out around them. Despite the abundance of room inside, the doorway into the elevator is rather condensed and their shoulders brush against each other as they make their way inside. Audible sighs involuntarily roll off of their tongues at the brief second of contact as they both shiver from each other’s familiar touch. There’s enough space now that they could easily move away -they probably should move away- but instead they stay pressed together. The sound of their uneven breathing fills the elevator as the doors close in front of them.

“I’m uh- I’m on the third floor,” Azzi says as she presses the #3 button, “you?”

“Fifth,” Paige breathes out, eyes fixated on the goosebumps that appear on the back of Azzi’s neck as her hands shake while pushing the #5 button. 

The elevator jolts up and Paige immediately reaches for Azzi’s hips to steady her, eliciting a small gasp from the other woman. She waits for Azzi to move away but the brunette stays put and Paige doesn’t move her hands. 

The doors open on the third floor. Both of them suck in a sharp breath. 

Azzi doesn’t get out. 

*** 

Paige wakes up to the dreadful sound of her alarm clock blaring around her room. It takes a second before the memories of last night start pounding against her skull. Her body aches in the best way possible. The room is still dark -just like it had been last night- and she closes her eyes, trying to revisit the feeling of Azzi’s lips pressed against her forehead, right before the younger woman -with her hair disheveled and bitemarks littered across her jawline-  had left Paige’s room. 

Paige hadn’t asked Azzi to stay. She wonders if she should have; wonders if Azzi would have agreed if she’d asked. But she hadn’t asked and Azzi hadn’t stayed. She regrets it a little bit. She wonders if Azzi does too. And Paige thinks that maybe that’s just the melancholic truth about their tragic story. 

Maybe they’re destined to always regret. 

*** 

April 2033

Paige thinks Azzi’s guest room air conditioning must be broken or something. There’s no other explanation for why, despite having kicked off every single blanket, she feels like she’s tossing and turning in red hot lava. She feels restless, like she has a purpose that she’s leaving unfulfilled. All the different scenes from tonight are rushing through her head, but her heart keeps stuttering on the last one; an image of the way Azzi had looked at her before they’d kissed good night. 

Azzi had asked her to stay even if she’d hidden it under a lame disguise of it being too late and Paige being too angry to drive home alone. And it’s not completely false that her blood is still boiling, their little encounter with fucking asshole still dangerously lingering in her mind as she thinks of the 101 ways she would have liked to murder him. But they both know that the minute Azzi had run her hand down Paige’s back, the moment she’d called her baby, the moment she’d given her the reassurance she was too scared to ask for but needed desperately, Paige had felt all the anger in her body replaced by that familiar sense of calm only Azzi had ever been able to provide. 

And after that had been decided, they’d both hesitated in the hallway, looking back and forth between Azzi’s master bedroom and the guestroom. Paige doesn’t know what had possessed her, why she’d decided tonight of all nights to play this false chivalrous rule-abiding good girl persona when it was the last thing she wanted to do. Because the last couple of weeks had been hell. The stupid rules had been hell. Going slow had been hell. Having to pull away from Azzi and walk out the door every night when all she wanted to was to lose herself in the brunette’s arms had been hell. But she’d done it for Azzi. She’d done it because there isn’t a thing in the world that she wouldn’t do for Azzi. Except tonight had been different. There had been that look on Azzi’s face -the way the younger woman had bitten her lips, the way her eyes had been hooded over, the way her cheeks had been flushed as her gaze roamed over Paige’s body- and  it had morphed into one of pure disappointment when Paige had said she’d take the guestroom. 

You’re a fucking idiot Paige Bueckers, she thinks to herself as she bolts right up, the image finally burning a little too bright behind her eyelids to continue this façade of trying to sleep. Perhaps it’s pointless. It’s late and Azzi loves her sleep; there’s no way she’s awake. But Paige slides out of bed anyways, breathing unevenly as she turns on the nightlight and walks towards her door. She doesn’t have a plan, doesn’t have any idea what she’d even say if Azzi is, by some miracle of god, even awake. But fuck it, Paige needs to see this through. She pauses at the door, hands wrapping around the cold handle as she gives herself one more chance to back out. Really, she doesn’t even know why she’s so nervous. It’s Azzi. Her Azzi. 

Paige twists the handle to tug the door open. 

Azzi’s eyes widen in surprise, her fisted hand -that had clearly been raised to knock on the mahogany door- freezing in place as she swallows and Paige is mesmerized by the way it highlights the veins in her neck. Her eyes move downwards, fixating on where Azzi’s oversized t-shirt hangs looser on one-side, leaving her right shoulder and collarbone on display. The shirt right above her thighs, giving Paige the perfect display of Azzi’s toned long legs looming beneath and the blonde gulps at the sight. 

“Hi,” Azzi speaks first, the low graveliness in her tone causing a coil of want to wrap itself around Paige’s stomach. 

“Hey,” Paige whispers back, “couldn’t sleep?”

Azzi bites her lip, “no- I just uh-, people always say- like when Jana sleeps over or something- she always says that- that the guest room is um- it’s too cold so I just- I wanted to make sure- wanted to ask-” she clears her throat, taking a step forward as she look earnestly at Paige, “are you cold?”

“So cold,” Paige confirms, moving closer to Azzi so their chests are almost touching. 

“You could um-” Azzi licks her teeth, “you could stay in Stephie’s room-” 

“I could?” Paige asks, pressing herself flush against the younger woman, hands wrapping around her waist. There’s barely space for air between them but she wants to get closer, wants to stitch herself into Azzi’s skin and keep them intertwined forever. 

“You could but,” Azzi’s hand trails Paige’s biceps, causing the blonde to shiver, before finally interlocking around her neck, “I think- I think her bed might be a little small for you.”

“Way too small,” Paige breathes against Azzi’s skin as she nips at the brunette’s jawline, before ghosting her lips against her neck, leaving a trail of mine mine mine down her throat.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice is breathless as she tilts her head, hissing when Paige bites harshly right above her collarbone, immediately soothing it with her tongue, “I think- I think-fuck” she cuts herself with a moan as Paige turns them around, maneuvering them back towards the bed that suddenly looks far more inviting then it had before,  “I just think-”

“You think too much,” Paige says softly, finally removing her lips from Azzi’s skin -she misses the taste of it immediately- so she can smile teasingly at the brunette. 

“Do I?” Azzi grins dopily. 

Paige rolls her eyes, continuing to walk them backwards, “way, way too much.”

They’re forced to a halt when the back of Azzi’s thighs collide against the backframe of the bed. It feels like a turning point, like they could unlock a new chapter or keep themselves on the one they’re already on. And while Paige would really to skip forward, she’ll be okay with whatever happens next as long as the story being written is still theirs, still about her and Azzi. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers again -and Paige loves the way Azzi’s lips curl around the syllable of her name- as she bunches the blonde’s shirt in her hands, “make me stop thinking.”

“Whatever you want baby,” Paige promises before they both go tumbling into the mattress, their lips colliding in a heated kiss. It feels like they’re trying to meld themselves into each other, like their bodies are carving out an indent of you and i just always feel right against the bedsheets. 

“I want this off,” Azzi breathes out between kisses, hands lifting the edge of Paige’s shirt, “off, off, off.”

“So bossy,” Paige smirks, leaning up off of Azzi to take off her shirt in a tantalizingly slow manner, enjoying the way the brunette’s eyes darken as they glide across her abs first and then her breasts, “enjoying the sho- fuck Az.”

The words are stolen from her mouth as Azzi swirls her tongue around one erect nipple, her hands cupping Paige’s ass to balance the blonde on top of her. She’s always known exactly how to get Paige to shut the fuck up. Paige groans as Azzi flips them over, shifting herself to press her thigh in between Paige’s legs and the blonde can’t help but grind up against it, desperate for some much needed friction, as Azzi sucks a possessive bruise against her jaw. 

“Missed this,” Azzi whispers, as she kisses down Paige’s neck, “and this,” a kiss pressed against her collarbone, “and these,” Azzi presses her lips softly to each breast, “and this,” against Paige’s stomach, “and these,” two featherlight kisses are peppered against her hip bones, “and I really missed these.”

“Azzi,” Paige moans as the brunette’s lips glide across the inside of her thighs, taking her sweet time marking only i could ever make you feel like this against every inch of Paige’s skin. 

Azzi stops right above the edge of Paige’s boxers before slowly peeling them off as sparkling brown eyes staring up at her with a myriad of unspoken emotions that Paige could spend a lifetime trying to memorize, “missed all of this. Missed everything about you. Missed you so much baby.”

Vulnerability echoes in Azzi’s voice as she slowly moves herself back up, hands coming to cup Paige’s face as they press their foreheads together. And it’s not like she hadn’t known that Azzi must have missed her in these last couple of years. But there’s a part of Paige that had thought that there was no way Azzi could have missed her as much as she missed Azzi. Because missing Azzi had felt all consuming, like there was a constant noose around her neck that got tighter and tighter with every day that passed by. But there’s something about the way the words reverberate around the room, something about the way Azzi looks like she can finally breathe again after saying it out loud that it hits Paige; it hits her that they’ve both been suffocating without each other. 

“I missed you too,” she breathes out, tears pooling at the edge of her eyes, “missed you so fucking much Azzi.”

“Yeah?” Azzi whispers, lips catching the lone tear that falls from Paige’s eyes, “how much?”

Paige shudders as Azzi’s fingers teasingly ghost over her wet folds, “s-so much. Azzi please. Need it so bad. Need you so bad.”

“Whatever you want baby,” Azzi repeats Paige’s own words back to her before she finally gives her what she’s desperately been craving, two fingers rhythmically pumping in and out of her pussy as her thumb rubs circles against Paige’s clit. 

“Fuck, fuck, just like that-” a litany of curses waterfall from Paige’s lips as she bucks her hips up against Azzi’s hand, “fuck please.”

“Please what?” Azzi asks coyly, fingers moving at a faster face as she hides a grin against Paige’s neck, “gotta tell me what you want baby.”

“W-want your mouth please- please Azzi-baby please,” Paige begs, writhing underneath her when Azzi immediately complies, lips attaching to her clit as she adds another finger, “fuck Azzi- I’m so close.”

“I know baby,” the words vibrate against Paige’s core, sending another bout of ecstasy shooting up her spine as she feels that familiar buildup in her stomach.

“Azz I’m gonna-”

“I know. Let go baby. I’ve got you. I’m gonna catch you I promise,” Azzi whispers. 

And it’s those words, that promise, that sends Paige over the edge, a cry of Azzi’s name falling from her lips. Because she knows Azzi means them for a lot more than just this moment, that those words -the promise- are born out of something deeper than lust. And maybe neither of them are quite ready to acknowledge that yet, not ready to make vows that teeter dangerously close to the ones they watched themselves break in the past, but it lingers between them, like a string made of we’ve always been inevitable connecting their hearts to each other. 

Azzi slowly eases her fingers out of Paige, pressing open-mouthed kisses against the older woman’s stomach as she recovers from her high, before looking up at her with a smirk. Never breaking eye contact, Azzi slips her fingers into her own mouth, leisurely sucking at them as she watches Paige’s face contort with desire. 

“Was I good?” she asks teasingly and Paige growls. 

“How have you gotten better at that? Actually you know what never mind,” Paige shakes her head, “I don’t want to know that.”

Azzi laughs, hiding her face against Paige’s neck, “only that good for you.”

“Good,” Paige tightens her arms around the woman on top of her and then scrunches her face as she feels the material of Azzi’s shirt itch against her wrists, “well this is unfair.”

“What is?” Azzi hum backs. 

“I’m fully fucking naked and you haven’t taken a single thing off,” Paige grumbles as she coaxes Azzi’s face out of her neck, hands gripping the edge of her shit, “take this off.”

Azzi stills, her previous serene expression replaced by something more nervous, as she lifts herself up so she’s straddling the older woman’s hips, “Paige-”

“What’s wrong?” Paige’s senses are on high alert immediately as she rises up herself, maneuvering them so Azzi’s fully on her lap. 

“I just-,” Azzi draws in a deep breath, looking downwards as she chews her lips.

“Hey,” Paige whispers, lifting the younger woman’s chin back up before pressing their foreheads together, “talk to me baby.”

“Can we just-” Azzi plays with the end of Paige’s hair, “can we maybe just-” she cocks her head towards the nightlight on the desk, “do you think we could turn the light off?”

“What?” Paige asks confusedly, “Azzi I’ve seen you naked-”

“Not since- not since I had Stephie,” Azzi interrupts, cowering under Paige’s intense stare, “the lights- the lights were off that one time and the other time I don't think- I don’t think we were sober enough for me to care or for you to remember so can we just-”

“Azzi,” Paige cups the younger woman’s face, “baby there is no amount of alcohol in the world that could make me forget you. Trust me I’ve tried,” she slips her hand under Azzi’s shirt, caressing the skin underneath, “but every time I see you baby, I memorize every little part of you,” she dances her fingertips across where she remembers those stretch marks -the ones Azzi is so afraid of her seeing again- are littered across her stomach, “and whether I’m sober or drunk or something in between, I always think every little bit of you is perfect.”

“Paige,” Azzi says softly, something akin to awe coating her voice. 

“Just wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel baby. Please,” Paige wraps her fingers around the edge of Azzi’s shirt again, “can I?”

“Okay,” Azzi concedes quietly, lifting her arms so Paige can finally tug the offending shirt off. 

Paige gives herself a moment to look at the woman in front of her, the woman whose body she’s seen countless times yet she swears that it feels like a different adventure every time. And then she lets herself have a taste, running her tongue lazily across Azzi’s skin, as she slowly maneuvers them so she can hover above the younger woman. A soft smile flitter across her face as she rubs her fingers over the tattoo printed across Azzi’s ribcage. It’s a purple S tattoo, with butterfly wings fanning out on either side. For Stephie. 

Keeping her eyes trained on the darker-skinned , she brushes her lips across the stretch marks on the darker-skinned woman’s abdomen and she hopes that Azzi can read the all of your imperfections are still made for me that Paige is spelling out against her skin. She uses her teeth to pull down Azzi’s panties, smirking to herself when she hears the younger woman's breath hitch above her. Eyes still interlocked with Azzi’s, Paige is purposefully slow as she licks a stripe up Azzi’s folds, relishing the way the other woman’s eyes roll back into her head. 

“So fucking wet,” she hums, “all for me?”

“You know-” Azzi shudders when Paige’s lips brush against her clit, still teasing, “you know it is.”

Paige smirks, “only for me.”

“Please,” Azzi begs as Paige continues to lazily lap at her pussy, giving her something but not quite enough. 

“Say it,” Paige demands, harshly biting against Azzi’s inner thigh as she brings up a hand to rub infinity signs around Azzi’s clit, “say it’s only for me.”

“It’s only for you-” Azzi cuts herself off with a scream as Paige plunges her tongue deep inside her, setting a tempo she knows will have Azzi seeing stars. 

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige coos as she adds two fingers with her tongue, “always so good for me.”

“Fuck,” Azzi fists the bedsheets, trying to gain some semblance of control as she writhes under Paige’s touch, “feels so good. Paige please.”

“I know,” Paige whispers, “I know what you need baby.”

And that’s the thing about them. That’s why it’s good every single time. Because Paige knows every little crevice of Azzi’s body like it’s her own, knows exactly where to touch and how to touch to elicit those little gasps of pleasure that she wishes she could record and listen to on loop. And it doesn’t matter how long they go without each other in between, coming back always feels like home. But as much as she loves the feeling of coming back, Paige never wants to feel it again. Because this time, she hopes there is no in between without each other. She hopes that this time, they both stay. 

“Paige,” Azzi moans again, her name falling from her mouth like a prayer. 

“I’ve got you,” Paige whispers, capturing Azzi’s lips with her own as she continues her ministrations with her hand, “fall apart for me baby. I swear I’ll put you back together.”

There’s nothing quite like watching Azzi come undone and Paige drinks in the sight of the other woman quivering as she grabs the blonde’s bicep so tight that it’s bound to leave a victory mark. Paige coaxes her through it, nibbling at Azzi’s jawline as the younger woman slowly climbs down from her peak, going limp in Paige’s arms. 

They’re quiet for a while, languorously pressing delicate kisses against each other's skin, soft hands exploring all over each other’s familiar bodies as they tangle their legs together; close not being close enough. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Paige whines when Azzi starts to move out of her grasp. 

“I got what I came for,” Azzi teases, “so I’m going back to my own bed.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Paige scowls, pulling the younger woman back into her chest. 

Azzi laughs, kissing away Paige’s pout as she wriggles out of her grip and slips out of the bed, “relax. I’m just getting something to clean us up with.”

“Well hurry up. I’m already cold,” Paige mewls before letting out a wolf-whistle as her eyes drift over Azzi’s naked retreating form, appreciating the tautness of the brunette’s back muscles down to her perfectly curved ass. 

“You’re 31 years old Paige Bueckers,” Azzi chides as she walks into the ensuite bathroom but Paige can hear the blush in her voice. 

“And you’re hot as fuck Azzi Fudd,” Paige calls out with a smirk, keeping the and you’re all mine as a secret in her own thoughts. 

“You’re not bad yourself Bueckers,” Azzi returns from the bathroom with a smile and a damp cloth as she hops back onto the bed, gently dabbing it between Paige’s thighs. 

It’s a simple act but Paige feels tears prickle at the corner of the eyes. Because it signifies so much more than just this moment. For most of her life, Paige had grown accustomed to the idea that no one would take care of her unless she took care of them first. She didn't know it was possible that someone could reach out first, that they could hold her first without any expectation of anything else in return. Until Azzi. 

“Baby?” Azzi’s voice is wrapped in concern as she takes notice of Paige’s tears, immediately rising up to brush them away, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just-” Paige loops her arms around Azzi’s neck, shuddering slightly at how earnest the younger woman’s face is, “I really fucking missed you.”

Azzi’s eyes soften as she caresses Paige’s cheek before pressing her lips against her forehead, “I really fucking missed you too.”

***

Paige’s eyes flutter awake to sunlight peeking through the blue curtains of Azzi’s guest bedroom. She groans, shifting to bury her face further into the brunette’s stomach, pinching it when Azzi laughs above her. Lifting her head slightly, Paige can’t help but smile at the woman above her. Azzi’s got her glasses on, a book in her hands as she peers down at Paige with nothing but pure fondness. Something aches in Paige’s chest as countless visions of mornings just like this fill her head. She’d resigned herself to believing that she’d never get this back again, that she’d have to rely on memories of the past to fill the empty void that rattled hollowly against her chest every time she’d woken up without Azzi by her side. 

“Morning sleepy head,” Azzi says softly, putting her book down to brush her fingers through Paige’s hair, “assuming you slept well considering you didn’t even notice when I left to grab my glasses and a book from my room.”

Paige frowns, “you left me?”

“I was bored,” Azzi defends herself, “you were fast asleep and I had nothing to occupy myself with.”

“I can believe you left me,” Paige petulantly accuses again. 

“I didn’t leave-”

“You left me!”

“Okay fine,” Azzi concedes with an eyeroll, “but I came back.”

“Yeah you did,” a soft smile takes over Paige’s features as she leans up to brush her lips against Azzi’s, “you came back.”

“I did,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, cupping the older woman’s face with her hands. 

Paige is about to deepen the kiss, her hands beginning to slip lower, when the sound of a doorbell ruins any chances of putting in motion any of the uncordial ideas that had taken birth in her mind. She groans as Azzi immediately pulls away.

“Shit, I didn’t realize they’d be here so early.” the younger woman curses, hurriedly tossing Paige’s discarded clothes at her, “here, put your clothes on. I’ll go down first while you change.”

“I- I can come down?” Paige asks slowly. 

Azzi crinkles her eyes in confusion, “what do you mean? What else would you do?”

“I just. I dunno-” Paige shrugs, “I just assumed you uh- you wouldn’t want Stephie to know I stayed the night. I figured I’d sneak out of the window or something.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, walking over to grip the older girl’s hands, “you’re not- you’re not my dirty little secret or anything. I’m not- I’m not quite ready to tell Stephie about us- hell I’m not even really sure what we are yet but I know- I know that I don’t want to hide you from her. Besides,” she nudges Paige humorously, “we’re on the 2nd floor babe. I don’t need you trying to climb out the window and breaking your knee before the season even starts.”

Paige watches quietly as Azzi walks out the door. She doesn’t think the younger woman quite understands how much she had needed to hear those words, how much she had needed to not feel like a secret again. It fills Paige with a sense of hope, hope that maybe things would be different this time. Maybe things would be better this time. 

*** 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals from Azzi’s arms as she spots Paige descending down the stairs, “you’re already here!”

Paige smiles at the little girl, tapping her nose over Azzi’s shoulder, “I promised you I’d be here bright and early didn’t I?”

“Very bright and early,” Katie cocks an eyebrow as she smirks at Paige and Azzi, “how did you get here so early Paige?”

“Don’t be silly Nanna. She drove of course,” Stephie says matter-of-factly before scrunching up her nose, “but Miss Buecks. How come your car isn’t outside then?”

“That’s a great question Stephie,” Katie says and Paige thinks the woman’s a little bit too peppy for a grandmother, “why isn’t your car outside Paige?”

“Because-” Azzi gives her mother an exasperated look before fixing her eyes on her daughter, “because Paige slept over last night.”

“Miss Buecks slept over last night?” Stephie repeats. 

“I did,” Paige confirms, glaring at Katie as she snickers in the corner. 

“Mama can you please put me down,” Stephie says finally. 

The little girl looks upset and Paige feels her heart constrict with fear. In general, she doesn’t really do well with people being mad at her. But she definitely doesn't think she can take Stephie of all people being mad at her. The little girl has chiseled herself into Paige’s heart and if she ever left, Paige thinks she’d leave a hole so big, her entire heart would cease working. 

Azzi shares a nervous look with Paige as she sets her daughter down before crouching down to Stephie’s level, “what’s wrong Stephie-bean?”

Stephie’s bottom lip trembles as she looks between her mother and Paige, “you let Miss Buecks sleepover.”

“I-” Azzi looks helplessly between her own mother and Paige, both of whom look just as tense, “I did but sweetheart why is that upsetting you? You like Miss Buecks.”

“I love Miss Buecks,” Stephie wails and Paige lets out a sigh of relief, the little girl's words wrapping themselves around her like a warm blanket. 

Azzi blanches for a second, “I don’t understand then what’s the problem-”

 “YOU GUYS HAD A SLEEPOVER WITHOUT ME,” Stephie yells, stomping her tiny feet.  

Oh. 

“Stephie-” Azzi says softly, unable to keep the smile off of her face. 

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me Mama,” Stephie sniffs as she turns to Paige with a betrayed expression, “and you Miss Buecks. How could you guys have a sleepover without me?”

“Oh sweetheart,” Paige falls to her knees beside Azzi, trying not to smile when Stephie dramatically turns her face away from them, “we didn’t mean to. It was just really late when we got back from the party-”

“The party,” Stephie cries out, “first you went to a party without me and then you had a sleepover without me. I can’t bel-ieve you guys would do that to me. Don’t you guys love me at all?”

“We’re really sorry Stephie,” Paige says as seriously as she can, reaching out to fold Stephie’s tiny hands into her much larger one. 

“Very, very, sorry,” Azzi echoes. 

“I don’t know,” Katie supplies unhelpfully from where she’s watching the whole situation with pure amusement, “they don’t seem that sorry Stephie.”

“Mom!” “Katie!”

Katie raises her hands in mock surrender as both Paige and Azzi glare at her, “just looking out for my granddaughter’s best interest.”

“Stephie-bean,” Paige says again, maneuvering the little girl’s body to face her, “your Mama and I are very, very, sorry for having a sleepover without you. Please forgive us.”

Stephie looks at the adults kneeling in front of her with a contemplative expression, “you promise you’ll never do it again?”

“Never,” Azzi promises as Paige nods along.

“And when we go to the park today I can get three scoops of ice cream?” the little girl asks, the hint of a smile starting to breakthrough her lips. 

“I don’t know about that one sweetheart. That’s a lot of ice-”

“Of course you can!”

“Paige!” Azzi hisses. 

“And you’ll push me on the swing at the park for twenty minutes?”

“I’ll even push you for thirty minutes if you want,” Paige says and Azzi rolls her eyes. 

“Just had to one-up it didn’t you Bueckers,” she mutters under her breath. 

“And even though Miss Buecks said she’d get me fries at the park, I can get In-N-Out for dinner too?”

“You’re pushing it Stephie-bean-”

“In-N-Out for dinner sounds perfect,” Paige winks at Stephie as a full smile finally overtakes the little girl’s face. 

“You’re hopeless,” Azzi chides the blonde, throwing her hands up exasperatedly but there’s no denying the grin on her face as she looks back at Stephie, “is that all your highness? Are we finally forgiven or did you want to ask us for more unhealthy things?”

“Just one more thing,” Stephie’s eyes twinkle with mischief, “Miss Buecks has to sleepover tonight too.”

Paige and Azzi share a toothy smile with each other before turning to the little girl. 

“I think that could be arranged.”

The words are barely out of Paige’s mouth before Stephie goes tumbling into her and Azzi, tiny arms somehow wrapping around both of their necks as she pulls them into a group hug. The two adults laugh, cocooning the little girl in between them as she rambles on about how excited she is.  And Paige thinks that when all is said and done, when she looks back on her life, she’ll remember this moment as the one where everything started to finally come together. Right now, with Stephie's arms wrapped around her neck and Azzi’s hands curling around the little girl’s back to intertwine their fingers together, this moment here feels perfect. This moment feels like it belongs to Paige.

[zonzolik]

Fluffy Good Omens fanfiction masterlist

huge thanks to @heller04, @turquoisedata and @smoxensweetpea from Garden of Eden server for this list of super fluffy angst-free ineffable fanfics🥳

legend: one shot, shorter fic, longer fic, series, a f*cking saga

Temporary Tattoo by cyankelpie - Crowley's snake tattoo wandering around, a lot of people love this one

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost by TheOldAquarian - the title says it all and it's freaking hillarious

Put Out The Fire by Aleakim - a spell makes everyone fall in love with Aziraphale the moment they see him, except for Crowley, 'cause... you know

I Slithered Here From Eden by Cryptand_Bismol - "yeah, you probably should have kissed him sooner"

air conditioned, love unconditional by fractalgeometry - Aziraphale is a ceiling fan and Crowley is an air conditioner

where the lights burn low and you're only mine by hopelessromantic549 - they move into a cottage and Aziraphale is trying to be rational

Texts from an Unknown Number by GaryOldman - first of the Wrong Number AU series, human AU, Azi's text does not end up where he wanted it to

Family by Association by otherhawk - Warlock finding his nanny

snake time by RosePetalsAndRain - snake Crowley getting cozy in the bookshop

Getting a Wiggle On by Kedreeva - Crowley leaves Azi fake eggs to babysit...

is it that we are dying? by NeverNooitNiet - Aziraphale has to help a dying demon escape from a church in England, 1349 EDIT: put here by mistake, it's sad but with a happy ending!

Press My Petals To Your Heart by ranguvar82 - miscommunication queens talk with flowers

I want it to be an "us" by Mimisempai - first of the Ineffable Growing Love series, S2 fix-it

Fifty Ways to Kiss Your Partner by ICarryDeathOnMyWings - literally fifty types of kisses, how adorable is that, "Fluffy as heck, y'all."

Tangled Up by No1fan15 - just fluff I guess

The Duality of Grief and Forgiveness by SealandRocks - the others arrange a dinner so the ineffable idiots can finally talk

right in front of me by raphvfx - Azi and Crowley finding out about the Good Omens book

Scare me goodnight, my love by The_Rogue_Bard - Crowley being Aziraphale's sleep paralysis demon

The Coffee by Ghostofafruit - Crowley does not like Metatron's coffee

How to Woo a Demon by Bookwormgal - after Armegeddidn't Azi wants to admit his feelings but he just can't do it the normal way, can he

Starting A Trend by somethingscarlet13 - they wanna get married

In the bleak midwinter by HolRose - human AU, a rather confused middle aged bookseller bumps into a handsome red-haired man in black

Miracle me a house by IneffableDemon - After the Amrmageddidn't, the Almighty wants them to play house

Clear As Day by HopeCoppice - Crowley actually knowing Azi's filing system (not a good thing)

Let It Snow by inffablenerd - stuck in the bookshop because of a snowstorm

This Strange Sweetness by KannaOphelia - they admit they're a couple, also there's a pear

Find Out How Much Love The World Can Hold by ineffablefool - Azi starts saying "I love you" at the end of phone calls

The Whole Truth by Aethelflaed - a cursed tome in the bookshop

Forget-me-not by gothikmaus - Five times they erased each other's memory after accidentally confessing their love, plus one time they didn't.

Putting the Endearment in Dear by JoyAndOtherStories - Azi calling everyone my dear, including Crowley

Unrequited by Arielavader - Crowley being a jealous bitch

Happily Ever After by IneffableToreshi - snake Crowley can't change back + ineffable stupidity

Fortune Cookies by PlantsJustWannaHaveFun - Anathema's Armageddidn't afterparty with a bit of future telling

Please tag the authors so they know their work is appreciated❤️

Note: I have not yet read them all but I will be making an AO3 collection as I'll be going through the list

[fictionalhoedown]

Stanford Pines x Self-Insert

Summary ;; Ford Pines discovers a strange glowing red flower, obviously he brings it back to the shack to bring it underground and study it. But Stanley has other plans, seeing it as a business opportunity, but of course he messes it up

~~~~ (I'm sorry I forgot to use they/them pronouns so this is a Stan x female self insert)~~~~

EdIt;: Im rly sorry if its bad, its been a long while since I wrote fanfic but I love this man to death I need this ;( y'all would tell me if this is shit or not right? pls hlp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanley's POV

Ford comes barreling in with something glowing red in his hands "the hell is that?" his brother didn't reply, instead he neatly stacked his books and gently places on the diner table a black pot with a large glowing flower.

Similar to a Lily, three long tubes with large pollen balls on each end gently emited small visible spores. I get irritated that he's ignoring me, again, and turn the tv off to lessen the noise "hey dick face!".

He looks at me with the highest form of disrespect, "Can you please tell me what the hell that thing is doing in my living room?" Ford huffed and straightened his glasses.

"techniqly this is my house Stanley. secondly! I don't know! I found it today. But I do know that I need to drive to my lab and retrieve some nessecary equipment items that I think would be beneficial of concealing this thing until I can learn more~"

The nerdy Pine brother looked 'too' excited about this research, "riiiiight, because playing with a flower is scientific?" my brother groans again "god why are you so childish! Just let me be happy about this discovery" I held my hands up in defense.

As he packed somethings up, he takes a step and looks at me very seriously, "listen Stan, I'm gonna be gone a while. Please, do not sell the damn flower in your freak shop. And more importantly. Do. Not. Touch. It."

I look back at the flower, everything about it calling to me to not sell it but cause general mischief for my brother and his nerdy hobbies. "yeah yeah, I promise! Jeez, you really think so low of your own blood?" he rolls his eyes and exits the living room with a sarcastic "yes.".

_______________

Self-Insert's POV

My cold wet hair dripped down my hot skin, I wrapped the towel around my chest, securing it well, then clipping the bottom, for no unnecessary 'drafts' of wind.

I combed my hair back out of my face and misted some perfume on before leaving the bathroom with the intention of going to my room and getting dressed. Until, !CRASH!

Rushing down the stairs with zero regards for slipping on my ass, I make it to the bottom to find Stanley Pines, my dear close friend, face covered in what looked like red spray paint and a broken flower pot with soil on the ground.

"Stan! What the- " I run to his side, holding his face with my hands to inspect the damage. I sprint to the kitchen and get some wet paper towels, trying to gently remove the mystery color from his face.

"Yeah yeah I know, Ford told me not to touch it already. But I didn't techniqly!" As I am dabbing his nose with the wet towel I give him a 'bruh' look. He protests "I'm serious! That damn flower basically farted this stuff in my face!" I laugh at his explanation.

As I finish cleaning the last of the flower spores from his eyes and nose, I notice an unfamiliar heat radiating from him like he was a mobile fireplace. Looking at his face, I see without the spores he is very flushed and red faces, a gentle sweat beginning at his bushy silver brows.

I put my lips to his forehead to feel his temperture, only to be met with an iron skillet burning my face, "Ow! Good Lord, how are you still alive! Your burning like grits with no butter!" I push the hair from his dripping face, to better see, he seems shy and sheepish? Stanley Pines? Shy?

Stanley's POV

I can't handle it, god this was such a mistake, I should have listened to Ford! Her glowing skin was the only thing I could pay attention to, as she spoke it was like how adults speak in cartoons.

When she was cleaning my eyes with the paper towel, I felt her breath, it sent chills through my whole body, like I was a teenager again! Her neck looked so... exposed... My body was turning up the heat like it was thanksgiving day.

I unconsciously trailed my eyes downward, (Self-Insert) continued her health assessment check with me, all my senses got more and more sensative. The TV volume was on low but it sounded like it was wracking inside my skull.

The living room light looked so bright and yellow for my eyes, I thought they were gonna dry away to dust. (Self-Insert)'s smell, fueling me into my lungs and straight to my member, so sweet, like honey and vanilla.

Her touch, as she nervously holds onto my arm for foundation, I can't think about anything else but the electrical storm going on with her beautiful body being pressed up against my old ass having a stroke on the floor in my fucking boxers. Real charming Stanley.

I unknowingly found myself gripping her wrist to bring her closer, hooking my arm around her waist and cupping each hip perversely. "T-Toots-... I can't... think... I don't think I... can even breath right now... but-" looking up deep into her eyes, the tent on me rises high to the sky.

Self-Insert's POV

The elder man aggressively shoved me, falling to my back but not hitting my head, thanks to his hand engulfing the back of my skull. Stanley's arms were firmly planted next to my head, his girtle not present but his very, very large lower half pushing past my legs, nothing but the thin blue and white striped cloth gently laying against my womanhood like a dog sitting on top of the bun.

"I can't explain how much I want- no..." Stanley falls forward, dipping his head to my throat like he's gonna rip it all out, "Need you~" I watch carefully, scared but, weirdly excited? His giant hands engulfing my wrists, the heart violently beating against his palm, "Stan." I say, to try and get his attention.

Suddenly rocking his hips to an imaginary song, he shifted his hands from my wrists to my biceps, pushing his weight on me as both our pre-cum juices covered and soaked his boxers. I couldn't run, the man was 5x larger than me, and I mean, It's not like it doesn't feel good~

Stanley grunted exhastedly, looking like a horny boy humping his pillow. The stubble on his face scratched all over me as he open mouth licked me like a loli-pop and drunkenly sucked hickies from my throat to my collarbones, he kept saying stuff like "I swear. you taste so good.", "I wish I could eat you like cake~", "say my name again, and I think I'll bust".

Gently removing himself from licking my neck, Stan suddenly rips my towel open, my no longer steaming body, hitting the freezing cold ac air of the mystery shack. Not saying a word, a small dripple of saliva dripping from his lip as sweat poured from his face.

His calloused fingers found their way to my chest with no hesitation, picking each bud with his pointer and thumb and rolling them around, my breath hitched as he pulled and let them fall back watching the buds grow stuffer and pinker "pretty, pink, buds" he murmurs.

While he gawked and played with my titties, I open my legs a bit more, adding to the closeness, his shaft firmly pressed to my soaking entrance. Reaching for the elastic of his boxers, I stick my thumbs in, circling around his waist and intending to push them down, feeling his swelled tip bed for attention.

!!EHEM!!-

Stanley's POV

(Self-Insert) sat in my lap as we watched my favorite romantic drama movie, my brother sat at the table next to us, toying with his glowing flower, that surprisingly lived.

Ford gagged once more, like he did for the 100th time, "I fucking hate you Stanley.".

I groan and drop my arm from the air dramatically, "Jesus fucking Christ Ford I already said I was in the wrong and I was sorry. How was I supposed to know it was gonna spit some sexy love juice in my face!" (Self-Insert) chuckled nervously as her face turned beat read again.

"Lets all of us just forget it okay. Please? Ugh~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I"M SO SORRY THAT WAS BAD- It was rushed and I'm finishing this at one thirty In the morning- AND I ALSO WORK- the lengths I go for horniness...

pls like...

<3

[laeteria]

It seems I never posted this here, so…

You may, or may have not, stumbled across this video, but yeah… My Tumblr is kinda dead, so I thought it isn't that bad of an idea to drop this one here as well.

There are some notes in the description, so before you go attack me because I haven't added XX role to YY seiyuu, please read the description 👊😔

Some Tumblr exclusive notes under the cut ✨

Why Paradox Live?

Yeah, I know I said I was not posting about Paradox Live anymore and considering the fact that the video was posted in October 2023, it seems pretty recent. However, I have been working on this video for AGES. I think that I will end up in somewhere in 2022(?) starting this video. I was still into Paradox Live and I had dreams to introduce people to it. Too bad that I'm a procrastinator… I mean, I could have chosen IDOLiSH7 as starting point as well, but Paradox Live had a bigger cast :)

My motivation to work on it

Guys, I'm not even kidding. I was planning to use Paradox Live to (hopefully) get some people into Argopro. The project had some difficulties and I wanted to pull people into it, so I did it in a very roundabout way. After all, not a lot of Paradox Live seiyuus are in Argopro like bro what am I even doing!? When starting with the roles of Kajiwara Gakuto (Allen's VA), there were barely any solos for Haruka (his role in Argopro). I remember downloading/ripping the audio of Orthros, because that song was barely introduced. Good old times.

What did I want to achieve with this video?

Guys, I'm just a girl who really likes sharing her interests and I'm a big fan of listening to music of several music projects because I think they are nice and they are different from other music if that makes any sense + you can listen to your favourite seiyuus!!! This was a video for my close friends because I always try to get them to listen to songs or to check out projects. This was merely a tool I used, I guess. My friends love me and I love them. In the end, it wasn't even needed because I post plenty enough on my insta story.

How I made the video

Bros, let me tell you. This was one hell of a dumpster fire of making this video. I'm not kidding. If you think you you can do it, go for it. I will never do it again.

I made the video on my phone. My phone has seen better days, y'all. I first made the template in Ibispaintx and after that I went into YouCut to put the audio over it. I absolutely hated it because you couldn't delete the files if you had the videos in draft (otherwise it will get corrupted which makes sense), but it took a lot of storage. I ended up saving them seperately per character, but the pain I had to go through everytime I made a mistake was painful.

This video is like 22 minutes long, but it took me nearly 2 years to finish it ( •̥ࡇ•̥ )

A little extra for you all <3

I still have the very first version of this video, so I thought, I might as well upload it for others to check out how ewww it kinda is, lmao. It was such a rough draft, but you can't have it all, right? Here is the link (the video is still unlisted, so you won't find it online if you don't have the link).

Another extra, which are the Paradox Live edits (this is a link to my Amino post, so yeah, it's a hell hole ngl) I did 4 years ago. I wanted to use one of them as my thumbnail actually, but I decided not too because people may not be used to that and thus may consider it over the top…

[throwaway-yandere]

Hey, there's someone that's copying your theme. Her url is @.throw-letter-away, and it's been so annoying to see her copy you. Don't know if you're friends with her but yeah, hope this helps to you and your followers to be aware to stay away from this poser.

... Ah, um, idk how to respond to this cause that's my friend Navina hahaha. They go by they/them. They're a friend of mine who decided to open up a new yandere blog ^^. I knew them since they were an anon in this blog haha. Please don't call them a poser, they just happened to use the words "throw" and "away". I know you have good intentions and I appreciate that but don't worry there's nothing malicious about it imo ^^ there's no need for the aggression + for anyone else seeing this, please don't send this anon hate either, we can all learn from our mistakes haha. Ily but we just need to tone those words a little ;;;;

Plus, I don't think they're copying me cause I... Suck??? At visuals??? HAHAHAHHA 😭😭😭😭. I think we have a very different way of posting content. I draw my headers, they find assets and edit theirs. And I think my writing style is different from theirs as well? Please don't worry :DD.

And Diluc's going to run this blog starting February 14 anyways—/j actually nah there's no /j, y'all let him win the poll 😭😭😭😭😭

[mbbsgf]

HUGE TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD !!

mentions of murder, child abuse, p€dophilia, r@pe, cannibalism, drugs and sexual assault, necrophilia. (let me know if there's more)

————————————————————————————

i warned you at the top of this post, don't read if any of the mentioned topics trigger you.

————————————————————————————

i've been studying true crime for as long as i can remember but i've never been that shocked until now. until i heard about the daisy's destruction case. peter scully is a 61 old man (he currently is in jail) who have done the most gut wrenching, horrifying things i've read. he didn't act alone but he was the "brain" of these crimes. he and his two "girlfriends" kidnapped children promising their parents health and a great situation or whatever but that's clearly not what happened. now the story behind daisy's destruction is fucking insane and horrifying so it's not too late to quit, i don't wanna be in charge of any tears or anything take care of yourselves. one of the girls kidnapped three children. liza, cindy and daisy (i believe this is their names, i apologize if not). i haven't seen the video daisy's destruction since we can't find it on this side of the internet, only on the dark web and for obvious reasons i will not go on the dark web. especially not to see this horror. peter basically r@ped those little girls. to clarify, liza was 11, cindy was 10 and daisy was 18 months old. peter had cindy digging her own grave before strangling her to death. liza and daisy are still alive but they obviously are traumatized and it was confirmed that daisy is unable to have children due to severe injuries around her vagina. i wish them the best and i hope cindy is resting in peace after the hell she went through.

jeffrey dahmer. dear lord, where do i even start? jeffrey would hang in gay bars around the 80s due to his sexuality if i'm correct (correct me if not). i've been studying jeffrey's case for longer so i mostly know what i'm talking about unlike peter's case but i'm not perfect so i might make mistakes so don't hesitate to correct me. jeffrey has always been "fascinated" by death and everything that revolves around it. he would dissect dead animals with his father as a hobby. growing up, jeffrey will realize it's more than just a "scientific" fascination. it sexually attracted him. he would start off by drugging his victim's drink so it'd be "easier" to get them home (please stay safe you guys, psychos are everywhere, always hold your drinks wherever you go). his victims were all males in their 20s or so except for one who was 14. jeffrey was grown when he killed that 14 year old boy. i've personally seen pictures of jeffrey's appartement after he got arrested and those picture made me so uncomfortable. i've also seen jeffrey's polaroids and i don't even wanna comment on it. what kills me is that those photos are so easy to find like that just disgusts me and it made me so uncomfortable.

now, why did i tell y'all all that, hm? there's obviously a reason and you're right. there is. it might sound dumb or like i'm overreacting but i promise i'm not. i've seen MULTIPLE facebook pages, tiktok edits and instagram accounts glorifying and idolizing those monsters. mostly jeffrey because peter's case isn't really known but i have seen "fan" accounts of them both. it's sickening. y'all realize they took the life of innocent, beautiful people. OF KIDS. like. even if peter didn't kill liza and daisy, he still took their life away from them. jeffrey murdered, ate and drugged people. peter raped, murdered and tortured little girls and you have nothing better to do than to create a fucking fan account to support them? you're sick. honestly, fucking disgusting. you think peter or jeffrey would show mercy to you if you were in front of them? you think they'd be like "oh you're my fan, all good!" NO, THEY WOULDN'T. they are murderers and you are glorifying their actions. honestly, you're as sick as peter and jeffrey if you think their actions are okay. i'm sick to my stomach just thinking about the edits i saw of jeffrey with a cute ass stupid caption saying "i could fix him" or "he wouldn't hurt anyone" well shame on you. he did and he admitted to it. the families of the victims maybe have facebook, tiktok or instagram. how do you think they'd feel if they saw their son's/daughter's, cousin's, little brother's/sister's, nephew's/niece's murderer being loved, supported and idolized? you guys are sick. you need to get off your phone and go touch some grass seriously.

that's all i wanted to say, goodnight.

[maxxieal]

Day 1

[ 1/1/2023 ]

Today is a new me, changing my personality i didn't like. Like being too loud, laughing too much and chatting too much, i wanna be so quiet for a while.

Somehow, i feel off about them and i don't know why. This feeling is same as what happened last December 2021 too like staying away from everyone and stay to that special friend who's been there for you all those times. I wanna be with her too, i wanna enjoy those times we can't do due to pandemic. I ain't comfortable with my "friends" right now, it's just i can't vibe with them. Sometimes they rely on me which is tiring too, why always me? I really regret to be with you guys when we became a trio like my life become hell. Why the fuck i helped you for that? WHY THE FUCK NA TINULUNGAN KITA, IPAGTANGGOL KITA? FUCK THIS SHIT , WHY IM WITH YOU GUYS ? I WISH I WILL HAVE A CHSNCE TO GO BACK IN TIME SO I CAN RESTART EVERYTING I MADE A MISTAKES.

Im a type of friend who gets tired with all of your shit.. too:(

I kept overthinking.. mostly of him.. Im being uncomfortable and annoyed for some reason. Istg, if i didn't answer him i'll never be in relationship again. ITS TOO ANNOYING TO UPDATE EVERY SINGLE THING IM DOING, CAN YOU JUST FUCKING TRUST ME? CANT YOU SEE IM TRYING TO HAVE FUN WITH MY RELATIVES AND MYSELF TOO!? HOW IMMATURE YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER THAN US? Bro you aew almost 2 years away from being an 18 years old yet you still act like a fucking child. All i want for this vacation is to enjoy my life alone without any classmates of mine in this school. All i want is my old friend and my family in this break. And not all the time i have time with y'all shits so get the fuck outta here and let me have my peace.

Anyways so, i still want to drink but wala ng beer 🥲 This was the beer btw, it taste like a softdrink. Inubos ko isang bottle but this bubbles there? I accidentally did smthng i didnt know, i was quietly enjoying it lmao

About Kpop, PLEASE LMAO GALAW GALAW NAMAN JAN KASI PUTCHA NA DRA-DRY AKO . Please bring back the old me na super addict sa phase na to even sa Anime lmaossosiso

But is this the sign na.. am i getting older? Like... there's a time na i wanna.. nvmd

I also finished Alice in the borderland S1 so in S2 , im already on ep 3 or 4 ig? I forgot cause i feel like im gonna throw out in any minute rn 😭 Btw, bye. HWHAHAHAH

Edit :

So i already finished the whole series right after 4pm , Its was so good! I cried at the end though, the only thing i could say is every person cards is so damn insane! unlike the number cards. ITS FUCKING INSANE THOUGH, Thanks god to Usagi , she's the best! She knew Mira manipulating Arisu to quit the game so she did her best to tell him na don't listen to her. Bitch this Mira is getting on my nerve like SHE SO ARTE WHEN SPEAKING AND SHE EVEN PINAHAHABA UNG KWENTO DI PA DIRECT TO THE POINT. I WANNA STUB HER TO DEATH LMAOEJSIWBJSJA.

After i finished the whole series, lets move to the other point. I opened up to my mother earth since i really don't want to feel nervous eh, i wanna end everything to the both of my friends hahaha, but need ko talaga makisama 'til the end hahahhaa.

I also tell that na he is courting me, but i don't want though. I find something i don't like haha, it feels like he can't do anything what i wanted to achive for life. So i'll be independent and not leaning to others though, men is shit btw hwhauwhwh.

I realize its not worthy to be in relationship so fast, its so kadiri na somehow. Im making him hate me for that shit

[queenofkings1212]

Goodbye

Disclaimer: I tried writing in first person for the first time. Needed to try something new.

Warning: Angst (?); not edited.

Words: 1220

Summary: Sometimes, a goodbye is needed.

(I suck at summaries, forgive me y'all.)

--------

Heart-broken. That’s the only word that could describe the hole in my chest. I should be happy, and for him I was, but I’d rather jump a bridge than sit anywhere near the newly wed couple.

He looked at me, and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Not when I had been so stupid to confess my life-long crush on him. What the actual fuck was wrong with me? The night before his wedding, I showed up and confessed my feelings? Being near his brothers too much has their stupidity rubbed off on me.

I returned the smile, albeit a sad one, before standing to dance with his sister, a faux smile stitched on my lips.

The night (morning) had slowly come to end, people escaping the never ending party, leaving only the Shelby’s. Grace sat next to Ada, talking with her new sister-in-law. I looked up to see Tommy staring at me, nodding his head toward the exit. A sigh escaped my lips, I reluctantly stood and followed him, knowing that his brother's eyes followed me, worried.

We stood side by side, not speaking for a few minutes, just staring at the stars, a sight that never seemed possible in Small Heath.

Turning around, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I felt him tense, never returning the gesture. I held him tight before letting him go.

“Tommy,-”

“YN-”

“Please let me finish.” I asked, stare never leaving the tree that stood to my right, opposite of where he stood. I could feel his stare on me, the long sigh leaving his lips signaled me to his agreement.

“Last night was a mistake. What I said, you were never meant to find out. I didn’t tell you because I hoped you would leave Grace. I was drunk, but I knew I told you because I needed to get it off my chest. It was embarrassing, and I ask that you erase it from your memory. I’d hate for your last memory to be of me making a fool of myself.” A sad chuckle escaped my lips, and I have never felt pathetic. I heard the sharp intake of breath, and turned around to face the man I love. Oh, his eyes. How I love his eyes. I could see the indecisiveness swirling in them. I know he didn’t love me, not like how I love him, but he did love me. Loved me as a friend, as a sister, and above all, he knew my worth to the company.

“What do you mean last memory, YN?” We had turned to face each other fully now.

Another sad attempt at a smile was forced upon my lips and a woeful attempt at cheering him up.

“I’m leaving, Tommy.”

“Because I married Grace?”

The words stung, but I knew I was hurting him, and this was his defense mechanism. All his life, people had left him. His mom, his dad, Greta, Danny Whizbang, Grace, and Grace again, and now it’s my turn.

“Partially. Tommy,” I inched closer, placing a hand on his cheek, caressing his cheek with my thumb. “I can’t stay and watch the man I love build a life that isn’t me. It’ll kill me, Tommy. But it’s more than that.” I dropped my hand back to my side, and turned around to face the tree once again. It wasn’t my place to comfort him like that anymore. A tear slid down my cheek, hearing him walk next to me, staring at the same tree. The seemingly never ending ache in my heart intensified.

“I was raised by my parents, soon thereafter by Polly, to be a strong, independent woman. Never to need a man to depend on, even if the world we lived in is in denial that a woman can too make money, and not rely on anyone else. I am a strong, independent, but with you? I could feel myself wanting more and more to finally be in accordance with the rest of society. I wanted to be your housewife. To sit there and wait for you to come home, to bear your children, and to be at your every beck and call. With you, Tommy, I wanted to live a life that I fought so hard to leave, and although my heart hurts at the moment, I am grateful that Grace had swooped in and taken your heart. In it’s own twisted way, Grace was my saving grace.” A pitiful chuckle was heard at my accidental pun. “And if I stay, Tommy, I wouldn’t be able to escape that. Because if I don’t have it with you, I’ll project these feelings on someone else, and I’ll be in the same quandary. I need to leave for me, Tommy. I’ve spent my whole life doing whatever everyone else wanted, and not once did I live for me. I need to do this for me, Tommy.”

I heard him turn, to fully face me, but I couldn’t reciprocate the action. I am afraid that one look into those pleading eyes, I'll be back in the office tomorrow morning.

“How long will we be missing you, love?”

Shrugging, I turned to face him once again once I had the strength to do so. The smile that had been forced all night had come a little easier. “I do not know yet. A month, a year, maybe never.”

The cold that seeped into my body at the sight of his eyes turning grey, and the tension in his body.

“I can’t promise anything, but I do promise I’ll return, even if it’s for a visit.” Lies.

The warmth that encompassed me as his arms wrapped around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him, was something I knew I was going to miss. Aside from unrequited love, Tommy was my best friend, and comfort was often something we provided for each other.

“I’m going to miss you, YN.” He whispered into my ear. He pulled away, holding me at arms length. “No matter how far you venture, or how long, your home will always be with us, ok?”

Even if it was a centimeter in a mile long tear, I could feel my heart slowly healing. I nodded. “I am always just a phone call away. We all are.”

I don’t know how long we stood out there in complete silence after Tommy’s reassurance, but the sun rising indicated that it had been too long. I felt guilty. I had kept him away from his wife on their wedding night. I had turned to apologize, only to find his gaze on me.

“It’s quite alright, love. We’ve decided that tonight was meant for the family.”

Another minute of silence.

"Do they know?"

I nodded, and I knew that he hated he was the last to know.

Like a gentleman Tommy never was, he turned to leave, expecting me to follow, and when I didn’t he turned around.

“I’ll be in a second. Just want to take it all in before I leave.”

With a nod and a soft, genuine smile, he left.

“Goodbye, my family.” I whispered before walking toward my car, my bags already packed and loaded. I couldn't bear saying goodbye. This has been my family for the better part of my life, and I knew that if I returned in there, I'd cave.

With one last look and declaration of love for the family that raised me, and a silent prayer of forgiveness for a sudden departure, I drove away. Away to a new life. Away to search for something I couldn’t find here in Birmingham. I don’t know what it was, but I knew I had to search, even if it takes the rest of my life.

[moonlight-prose]

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 || 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐀 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

a/n: i know summer is technically over, but i have a few more summer fics to share with y'all. or at least begin them before i release fall fics. so as you can tell by the title. this fic will be heavily inspired by mamma mia and abba songs! hopefully y'all enjoy it!

not beta read or edited so there's possibly mistakes.

summary: arriving in santorini, you were ready to begin the vacation you so desperately needed with your best friend. yet what happens when you come across him?

word count: 4k+

pairing: mickey henry x fem!reader

warnings: not explicit yet, cussing, tw: food, tw: eating, mentions of death, mentions of grief, mention of depression, a best friend who is a menace but in the best way possible. let me know if i missed anything!

It’s a horrible idea really.

To get on the plane with nothing but a bag full of clothes, some essentials and a notebook full of ideas. But how can you stop it? Stop the urge to get up and go when the wind changed, and really it wasn’t like there was anything stopping you. Your best friend had said you needed a change of scenery. That the stagnant aura came off of you in waves, and that did it. Those few words were all you needed to be the last shove out the door.

You were packed by the end of the day, calling your parents and letting them know you would be staying with a friend from college who happened to live there. Her father’s side of the family had lived there for generations, but she remained with her mom, and when you called her the week before, asking what to do, she offered a room. Letting you know it was always an option to stay there with her.

It just hadn’t occurred to you that you would take her up on that offer nearly a week later.

“Can’t back out now,” you said, gripping the bag tighter as you tried to move past the people in the airport. You could hear the familiar sounds of the speaker, telling people where to go and what flight would take off when, and it raised your anxiety.

Was this a mistake? Was this nothing but a drastic change? You couldn’t tell, but at this point you didn’t care. Couldn’t find a piece of yourself that gave a single fuck about this whole situation, because you were done with Washington. Done with this state filled with memories at every turn. Ghosts haunting you; ringing in your ears until you couldn’t push them away.

“Hi, how can I help you?”

You smiled at the woman, setting your passport right beside your sunglasses. “One ticket to Santorini Greece please.”

Hours later and a few glasses of wine in, you were getting off the plane, feeling the lag on your body begin to wane on your energy. You didn’t take a nap, what with the stranger sitting beside you who decided that it would be nice to ask you every personal question known to man. It took you twenty minutes of talking to distract him long enough with the baggage claim in order to escape from his attention. You nearly knocked someone over trying to run through the airport to get to the front doors.

To your dismay there was no transport, and so there you sat. One hour had passed, a single phone call was made to your friend, and at last half of your book was finished. And still nothing. She said she’d do her best to get there as fast as possible, but she couldn’t promise the traffic wouldn’t delay her.

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

Glancing up, you saw a woman standing in front of you. The uniform clearly identified that she worked there and you were about ready to ask her where you could pick up local transport. Maybe you could rent a car or even catch a bus and meet your friend halfway, rather than sit there for another hour. In reality you were itching to go outside and explore, but didn’t want to get lost in a place you didn’t know.

Even if it did sound appealing.

“What are the times for buses?” you asked, already packing up your bag and getting ready to leave.

“One just left. Another should arrive in thirty minutes.”

The option of waiting for your friend now seemed like the easiest choice. She might not take thirty minutes to get here, but then again...she might take longer than that. You would leave it up to chance and so you thanked the woman, opting to remain where you sat. Turning to the next page in your book. Your phone buzzed with a text from you mom asking to know if you had arrived yet, if you managed to find the place you were staying at.

You thought about calling her, letting her know things were okay, but your worry got the better of you. She had always been one to stress over things beyond her control, and you leaving for vacation had been just that. The thought of you leaving terrified her. Yet even after several painstaking phone calls and days of affirming that you were coming home - she still didn’t believe that you weren’t going to stay in Greece for good.

Could you blame her? If given the chance to stay you couldn’t exactly say with assurance that you would respond with the answer no.

You suppose that was the thrill of a vacation. You could leave and pretend that you’d remain there for the remainder of your days. That you had a life far more spectacular than the one waiting for you once you returned. It’s why you left. Why you chose to come to a place that you could see yourself living in - even if the idea was crazy.

Turning to the next page you attempted to forget about the worries of what you left behind. You’d call her back later and let her know you were safe, but for now you wanted to enjoy the fact that you were thousands of miles away from the life you once knew. Knowledge that sparked a feeling of joy in your body, because you had done it. You had managed to leave.

Finally.

There wasn’t much to say about your best friend Ismena. She had been the first person you latched onto in college, thankful that she shared the exact same feeling of anxiety you did about living somewhere new. Born in Santorini, she had known nothing else beyond this beautiful place. She claims it’s why she decided to move to Washington of all places in order to get her education.

Only when graduation day came and the summer of celebrating in California at the ocean passed by, she left back to Santorini. And you - you stayed in Washington believing that life could be great for you there - that you’d find your purpose. How wrong you had been. You just hadn’t seen it until years had passed and you weren’t the person you used to be.

The person who had dreams, hopes, who strived for them because she believed they were possible. Perhaps you were chasing that person once more. Attempting to find her still latched to Ismena - an old friend that you wanted back more than anything. A ridiculous hope to hold onto, but it kept you going. It helped you get onto that plane in the first place, and now you were there.

Waiting for the past you to walk up, say hello, and promise to stay forever.

“I’m here!” her voice echoed through the airport, sounding exactly the same as she had in college. With the same look of mischief and joy in her green eyes as she ran towards you.

You could breathe again, for the first time in years you felt yourself take in a breath that seemed to be buried deep down within you. For five years she had been your family, your best friend. Someone who knew you far better than you knew yourself, and seeing her in person again brought back the feeling of home you’d been missing.

“I nearly took a bus,” you said, getting to your feet and opening your arms for the hug she dragged you into. A smile stretching across your face, because you no longer felt so alone in this hectic game the universe liked to jokingly call life.

“I’m glad you didn’t. Busses here can get lost so easily.”

The smile fell almost instantly. “Are you serious?”

“No.”

She didn’t give you a chance to respond, already grabbing your bag in one hand, her other dragging you by the hand through the airport. You had expected to see sunlight, to see a blue sky to clear that you would do anything to etch the image into your mind. Only it was much more than you expected. Much more than you could imagine. Blue seemed to be everywhere - so much so that it stunned you to see such color in the world.

Washington had been bleak. As if the city itself had been bled dry of any remaining color. Or maybe that had been you. So focused on the dreariness of your life that you chose to ignore the colors, causing everything to shift to black and white. Blue skies shifting to grey ones.

“It’s beautiful,” you said, unable to take your eyes off the sight of the sky and ocean meeting in an infinite kiss.

“This is only the airport. Wait till we get to mama’s place.”

You could recall the image of her mother in your mind. A woman that seemed to emit the same regalness kings and queens did, but held enough kindness in her heart to rival anyone. The first time you met her was on graduation day, and she had greeted you with a hug. Thanking you for making sure that Ismena was okay here in Washington - an open invitation to visit them in Santorini soon following after that.

“How is your mom?” you asked, cramming your suitcase into the backseat of her small red car that seemed to have seen better days.

Ismena nodded, leaning over and popping open the door on the passenger side. “She’s okay I suppose. I feel like she’s been lonely.”

“But she has you home with her.” Part of you knew where she was coming from. Lonely for a life that had passed you by, and you couldn’t even understand how much she was going through. When Ismena had told you in college that her father had passed away when she was a young girl, you could understand how hard that would be for a young girl growing up. Yet you never thought about how her mother must have felt.

“I think she misses love,” she replied, turning quickly onto the street and smiled as you scrambled for the seatbelt. Still the same type of fast driver - something that only added to who she was. Living life as free as possible while it was here. “Which is why-” she turned the car, causing you to jolt “-I have a plan.”

“Those were never good words in college when they came from you.” You laughed as she flipped you off, the smile on her face never once fading.

“I had good plans in college.”

“The attempt to get my crush to talk to me by accidentally collapsing into him didn’t go over well.”

She scoffed, waving her hand in the air. “How was I supposed to know he would nearly twist his ankle as he fell?”

“You pushed me into him!”

“Aside from that plan. I had other good ones - don’t give me that look - they were good and you know it,” she said, lightly pressing on the horn as people walked through the streets. “Consider this new one a genius idea that would be the greatest plan I’ve concocted.”

You had missed her and her plans - even if they did get you into far more trouble than you thought. “What’s the plan?” Glimpses of the ocean showed through the window and you stole any chance you could to see it.

“Mama had an old boyfriend when she first moved to Greece.”

Panic set in. “Ismena no.”

“From what I remember her telling me they were infatuated with each other,” she said, choosing to ignore the words you said.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to mess with old romances.”

She shrugged, leaning towards you and pulling a book out of the side of the passenger seat. “It’s her address book from then. I underlined his name and old address.”

“You mean to tell me...you want us to find-”

“Mama’s first love. Yes!” She pressed on the brakes, setting the car into park before the squealing noise that seemed to come from underneath the vehicle stopped. “I know how it sounds.”

Like you would never be allowed to step foot back into her mama’s house. You had to admit that it didn’t sound horrible, but neither of you knew how the relationship ended. Whether or not they still could even bear to be in the same room as one another - let alone wanted to hear from one another. Past romances always seemed better if they remained in the past, but you could see the look in Ismena’s eyes.

The same kind of determination that had you going along with every single one of her past plans. She was sure this would work. Positive that it would help her mom, and who were you to say no to such assurance?

“Where do we start looking?” you asked.

She let out a shout, yanking you in for a hug before clambering out of the car. “We’ll start tomorrow with his old address. Tonight we celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?” You lugged your bag towards the door of the house, recognizing it in the pictures Ismena had shown you.

“My best friend coming here at last.” Pushing open the doors you were stunned by the sight before you.

A small home built with so much character - so much life - that it had you frozen in one place trying to soak in as much as you could. White walls were decorated with art pieces, several you recognized as Ismena’s, and others you had never seen before. Pictures were placed on shelves of two women - that looked nearly identical - surrounded by family, at the ocean, doing things that showed they truly did their best to live.

“It’s not much,” Ismena said, taking your bag and placing it in an open room that you figured was hers.

“It’s amazing.”

“Thank you.” You turned at the sound of a woman responding and saw Ismena’s mom walking in from the balcony. The dress she wore floating around her as she moved, cleaning her hands of what you assumed to be paint.

Ismena pushed you forward lightly, a smile on her face. “Mama, you remember my best friend.”

“It’s nice to see you again,” you replied, sticking your hand out in greeting, already feeling the embarrassment wash over you. Talking to people has never been one of your strong suits and it seems that nothing has changed.

She merely smiled, pulling you in for a hug just as she had done all those years ago. You couldn’t remember a time where you had been hugged this much - the memories of your own family showing this much affection was even rare growing up - and you felt yourself fall into the warmth that she showed. Feeling as if you were being welcomed home after so long away.

“Welcome to Santorini,” she said, pulling away and giving you a chance to see the rest of the house. “I’ll let you settle in. Ismena if you want to have dinner here you should start calling people.”

“You really don’t have to.”

Ismena waved off your response. “Consider it even for welcoming me into your home when we first met.”

There would be no fighting her on things like this once her mind was made up, so you relented, offering your help in any way possible. “I could help cook.”

“I’m not cooking but I’ll let you know when I start.”

“Do you need-”

She sighed, leading you towards the door and pointing towards the stairs. “Go wander. You just arrived so go see the ocean. I’ll call you when we begin cooking.”

Just as one would tell a child to go outside and explore, you were sent on your way with your purse and a piece of fruit. You could see what Ismena wanted to do - surprise you with dinner when you returned - but you were stubborn just as she was. So you began to walk down the steps towards the ocean, determined to return early to help her with food. Probably not the best idea, but you had set your mind to something and rarely did you ever let it go once that happened.

That is - until you saw the full beauty of this place in its entirety. Stunning was too little of a word to use in order to describe what you were seeing. The vastness of the ocean before you left you breathless, a feeling in your chest rising up to where the prick of unshed tears filled your eyes. You could understand now why Ismena came back. Why people came and never left, because the view alone was enough to keep someone enraptured, forever tied to it until they took their last breath.

Standing on the edge of a dock you searched in your purse for the camera you bought on a whim two years ago - glad you brought it with you. Although you weren’t quite sure even the camera could capture something so spectacular. It didn’t stop you from trying, messing with the settings as you lined up the image in order to take the picture.

Only to be knocked into by someone walking by. You felt yourself begin to fall - waiting for the inevitable cold water to hit you as you collided with the shore, but it never came. A warm grasp on your wrist kept you upright at a small angle, your feet planted on the edge of the dock as they wound an arm around your waist to help bring you up into a stable position.

“Are you alright?”

Letting out the breath you’d been holding, you opened your eyes - meeting ones that would put the blue of the ocean behind you to shame. “Thank you.”

He smiled and you could feel the flutter of your heart at the sight. You shouldn't be so attracted to a man you met mere seconds ago, but you couldn’t help the way you reacted. How he seemed to emit a glow that had you wanting to bask within its warmth. A quality that you had only seen in a few people throughout your lifetime.

“Good thing I caught you. I would have had to go in after you if you fell in.”

Fuck did he have to sound like that? You smiled in the hopes that it would calm your nerves; having been out of practice when it came to talking to men for quite some time. Really it had been far too long since you had been on a date. Which is probably why you felt ready to run - head back to mama’s place and stay there for the remainder of the night.

“Good thing I can swim,” you replied.

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t have known that.”

As if on cue your phone began to ring, no doubt Ismena calling to let you know that it was safe to come back. “Hello.”

“You can come back to mama’s. There’s people here I want you to meet.”

Glancing at the man, you wondered if it would be too forward to ask him for his number. Or to possibly ask if you could see him again, but the nerves rushing through your body got the better of you. Telling her you were on your way, you began to shove the camera that thankfully didn’t fall back into your bag.

“Thank you again for saving me,” you said.

“Anytime you need a hero just let me know,” he replied, his lips turning up into an infectious smile.

Ismena would definitely have a plan for that. “I’ll do that. It was nice to meet you-”

“Mickey.” His hand clasped around yours, the warmth returning from earlier. “Mickey Henry.”

“Micky,” you said softly, unable to wipe the smile off your face from the way he looked at you.

If you had the time, you’d ask him to show you around. To spend a few more minutes with him, but you couldn’t let Ismena down and with a strong reluctance you said your goodbyes. Waving at him as you began the climb back up towards the house. Now completely sure that his eyes were created from the very ocean he stood in front of.

Two hours later you were unable to move from how much food you ate; the dinner Ismena’s family brought over enough to feed a small army. Introduction after introduction was given until you were positive that you had to create a small list of names so as not to forget who was who. Although you were sure that after your time here you’d catch one easily enough.

“I have a few friends I want you to meet,” she said, leaning against the balcony as you sipped from wine glasses. The night breeze lovely on your warmed skin from the sunlight earlier.

“Who?”

She pointed towards three people sitting at a table laughing. A woman with dark hair that fell down towards her waist and a beauty that could rival statues, a man with dark eyes that you had no doubt pulled people in right away, and another man beside him. With blue eyes that came from the sea. The very same man from earlier.

You wondered if he could hear your thoughts, or perhaps it was fate, you’d never know, because he was meeting your gaze. His smile growing at the sight of you on the balcony, barefoot in a summer dress with a glass of wine. Raising a hand in greeting he waved at you, just as you had done earlier. The sight is enough to have you letting out a laugh.

“Am I missing something?” Ismena asked.

“He uh-” You turned away from him and back to her. “He saved me from falling off one of the docks earlier.”

“Mickey Henry?”

You nodded. “I didn’t know he was your friend.”

“He’s a new friend. Knows Isabella’s boyfriend Demetrious - the man sitting beside her. Apparently they were friends in college like we were.”

“Has he always lived in Santorini?” you asked, wondering why the hell you were so fascinated by this man already. You didn’t need to have a romance with someone here, but even you couldn’t deny that the thought sounded nice.

She seemed to catch on as the thoughts crossed your mind if her smile was anything to go by. “No. He used to live in Athens, but went through a breakup bad enough to have him move out here. Said he wanted a fresh start.”

“Oh.” That was enough information to learn for one night, so you prepared to ask her about her other friends, but it was too late.

She knew.

“He’s single. Very single from what I hear.”

“That’s good to-”

“I have no doubt he’d be willing to go out with you.”

Sighing you dropped your head back. “How the hell do you know?”

“Because I spent five years with you. I know when you have a crush on someone,” she replied, reaching for the bottle between you. “We can come up with a plan-”

“No plan,” you said within seconds, afraid of what would happen if she attempted to get you involved in yet another plan. “I - I can do this.”

She smiled, pouring you another glass. “Are you sure? You look nervous.”

“I’m very sure.” You weren’t, but you had managed to talk to men before so what difference was this situation? Other than the fact that you were on vacation and had no intention of committing to a long distance relationship.

This would be only for the time you were there. That thought, the knowledge that it couldn’t last, is what gave you the courage to finish your glass of wine. Preparing yourself to talk to a man who would hopefully change something about you. Whether or not it would be a good thing you had yet to find out, but you wouldn’t be able to do that if you didn’t take the first step.

“I’ve got this,” you mumbled to yourself, knowing that she heard you.

A light shove from her to get you to take the first step inside the house told you she was ready to watch you take control of something in your life. “Go get him, dancing queen.”

“I hate you,” you said, laughing as she entered with you.

She squeezed your chin with a smile. “Liar.”

𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

@themarcusmoreno @karasong @buckybarnesj

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

@pamguini @blondekel77 @the-purity-pen @princess-and-pedro @phoenixhalliwell @justanotherblonde23 @autumnleaves1991-blog @greeneyedblondie44 @amelia-song-pond @ladylothlorien @littlebopper96 @a-little-counter-esperanto @cap-n-stuff @agirllovespancakes

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body. 

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,  really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[scarletjedi]

untitled Untamed time travel au but make it Mingcheng PART 2A

@piyo-13

Part 1: The Setup

Part 2A: GUSU REVISITED (part 1)

EDIT: Part 2B now up!

y'all...I tried to do one part, but this notefic is quickly becoming fic, and I need to keep it small enough to fit on tumblr, lol. The second half of this should be up in the next day or two!

Okay, the next day they arrive in Gusu, have the run in with Zixuan, which....almost goes the same? Zixuan still buys out the inn, but WWX saw this dude, who made Yanli happy, die (and while JC says it wasn’t him, he still feels that guilt) and JC looks at him and sees Jin Ling’s father, and they just... leave. Do not engage. Perhaps with a look at each other like - we need him to see her for herself, but we don’t want to put her through the pain of losing him.

...okay, JC can’t leave without saying something along the lines of “we’re in Gusu to learn, but also to form alliances. Open your damn eyes, and you might actually make a friend” - Zixuan is shook, but Mianmian looks at JC assessingly. I am here for “isolated and therefore socially awkward Zixuan” and I think it’d be hilarious if he takes this as a sign that JC wants to be friends. So, he will kind of randomly show up where JC is, like a cat trying to signal that they’re friends by mirroring you? Luckily, JC speaks “stray animal” and eventually figures out that Zixuan isn’t trying to spy on him but trying to make friends. It eventually leads to a conversation where JC turns to him and just asks “Why don’t you like my sister?” ...but i’ll get to that.

So, they leave, and this time they double check that WWX has the invitation. He does, but they’re still delayed just a bit going up the mountain, so when they reach the top, Lan Wangji is waiting.

The party stops when they see him, mostly because it looks like he’s barring entry, but JC sees the way LWJ looks at WWX and *knows* that somehow, LWJ is back too.

Now, in The Untamed canon (which we’re in) I fully believe that WWX was in love with (and knew it) LWJ before he died, but either felt that his love was not returned, or that LWJ’s love would end if he knew, the time was never right, etc - so, he’s looking at this like and opportunity to present the side of himself that he thinks LWJ wants.

Meanwhile LWJ is like “THERE IS MY GREMLIN ALIVE AND WELL. THIS TIME I WILL LOVE HIM AND STAND WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT.”

But when JC announces themselves and WWX pulls out the invitation, LWJ says “Wei Ying” in that WAY of his and WWX freezes because a) he realizes that LWJ is also back b) this doesn’t fit into his plan and c) stall. So he does that awkward laugh, flicking his nose, like “Ahaha, Lan Zhan. It’s me.”

And LWJ *SMILES* “It is good to see Wei Ying.”

And WWX *melts* because he is weak, and JC is like “kill me now” (JYL is confused but thinks its sweet) and everyone else is just *confused*.

Not taking his eyes off WWX, LWJ gestures for Yunmeng Jiang to follow him, and leads them (well, WWX and by proxy everyone else) to the student dorms where they will be staying. (WWX walks next to LWJ, and there is something about the way they fit together that makes JC *feel things* all over again, because here was one more thing WWX lost because of *him* and—

When they arrive at the dorms, the other disciples and Yanli all retire, but JC stays because if LWJ is back then they need to talk before JC leaves those two to “count each others eyelashes or whatever they do when they’re alone together” and the absolute bitchy-ass angry *look* that LWJ sends him has JC standing taller and WWX stepping between them.

“Ayia, Lan Zhan, there’s no need for that. Jiang Cheng and I talked it out. We’re good.”

Lan Zhan looks over at WWX, softening for a moment, before bringing the heat back for JC. “He killed you.”

“You-!” JC clenches his fist, and is thrown because there *aren’t* sparks because Zidian is on his *mother’s* wrist, and it’s enough to make him settle, enough for WWX to step in again and say:

“That fall wouldn’t have killed me if— If I hadn’t lied to him, then Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have had every reason to believe I would survive that fall.”

*That* causes a reaction, a widening of his eyes that would be subtle on any other face, at the implication that Jiang Cheng hadn’t been trying to kill him. But, it doesn’t make the frown disappear. “He did not stand with you.”

“Neither did you!” Jiang Cheng snaps, going for the *jugular* without even realizing, and LWJ just fucking *wilts*

“That...is my regret.”

But before he could say anything else, WWX spoke again.

“Look, there’s no reason to rehash the past. I’m alive! And I know what I need to do to not be bad again, but I would really appreciate it if my brother and my soulmate” and didn’t THAT cause JC’s eyebrows to rise “didn’t hate each other.” Suddenly, several things about the last few years made a lot more sense.

“I don’t hate him,” Jiang Cheng said, as Lan Wangji said “Wei Ying is always good.”

When *that* caused the three of them to stare at each other again, Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Look, we need to talk soon about this whole time travel... thing, but I want nothing to do with whatever this” and gestures between them “is. So, I’m going to bed because I have been awake for two days straight and I would like to sleep. Figure it out!” and Jiang Cheng turned and went to find his bedroom (which he shared with WWX. Considering the way they were looking at each other, JC was pretty sure he’d be spending the first night without a roommate. Again).

MEANWHILE, outside, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are left staring at each other. (Well, WWX stares after JC for a minute, mouth open, but that fades quickly when he sees Lan Zhan staring at him, all intent.)

Wei Ying would normally begin to fidget, but he’s transfixed, heart in his throat, without a clue as to what to do next and—

“A-Yuan.” Lan Zhan said, and Wei Ying’s focus sharpens.

“A-Yuan?!”

Lan Zhan nodded. “I found him, after. He was sick. I brought him here, gave him the name Lan to hide him.” He opened his mouth as if to say more, but fell silent.

Wei Ying was staring with shining eyes. “He lived? My little radish...” he trailed off, staring into the distance. He frowned, shaking his head. “But Lan Zhan, why would you—”

“I should have been there,” Lan Zhan interrupts *interrupts* angrier than he had ever sounded, but even Wei Ying can tell that it’s not directed at him. He cools quickly. “I will not make the same mistake.”

He catches Lan Zhan’s eye again and falls silent. “Oh.”

And Lan Zhan steps back, like he hadn’t intended to let that slip. “If Wei Ying does not feel the same—”

“I do!” Wei Ying bursts out, stepping forward and reaching out, not quite touching. “I do. Feel the same,” he said, quieter this time, for the two of them. Lan Zhan’s expression doesn’t change, but something shifts and Wei Ying knows him well enough to know it as *joy*

And, Lan Zhan reaches out and takes his hand.

(Yes, they use the next several months to actually talk though their relationship, but this is effectively a speed run from the way they feel in Episode 1 to the steps of jinlintai, bypassing all the *plot* that gets in the way of their romance, but whatever, it’s my fic. If this was a wangxian fic first, then I might do the “WWX needs to get a clue” thing he has going in the book, but.... Honestly, I *adore* the idea of *gremlin couple wangxian* on what is essentially their honeymoon in gusu. Like - pre-sunshot Gusu is not *prepared* for post-Yiling Laozu LWJ.)

The next morning, JC arrives to classes with the rest of the Jiangs, not at all surprised to see Wei Ying standing with LWJ (though everyone else seems to be weirded out by it, which may be because they’re standing far too close). LWJ nods at JC, who nods back, grimly pleased to see that there was no longer an open front of hostility. JC wasn’t foolish enough to think it was gone completely, but at least they should be able to discuss business when necessary. (And some part of his mind absolutely began planning the wedding. WWX was Yunmeng Jiang, and if JC had anything to say about it, he would REMAIN YMJ until he was damn sure to remember that he can’t get rid of Jiang Cheng that easily... and JC would be DAMNED if he let Lan Xichen steamroll the wedding prep, which he absolutely would, hopeless romantic that he was).

They enter and settle into their usual spots, though LWJ hesitates when he realizes that his seat would not let him watch WWX. JC continues on to sit in his old seat, determined to see *as little of this as possible* and turns to look at Nie Huaisang, who—

Oh, sonofabitch, Nie Huaisang was back too. How the fuck did their ritual have enough power to drag *four souls* back in time, especially one from *wherever the hell WWX was* JC widened his eyes at him, clearly saying *WTF* which had Nie Huaisang giving him a *look* from behind his fan, which fluttered, agitated. JC rolled his eyes, cutting them over to WWX, who was blatantly staring at Lan Wangji, chin propped on his palm. (And if LWJ had his head tilted so he could look back, well, *most* of the class probably couldn’t tell). Incredible. Jiang Cheng turned to look at JYL, who was hiding a smile behind her sleeve, when movement behind NHS caught his eye.

Meng Yao. Oh, that wasn’t awkward at all. Nie Huaisang flicked the corner of his fan, and JC turned back aground, knowing they would talk later, and then they were all standing as Lan Qiren walked into the room.

Which was when it dawned on Jiang Cheng that he would have to take these classes again. Judging by the soft whimper behind him, Nie Huaisang realized it, too.

The class runs the same, as clear as Jiang Cheng can remember, even if the recitation of the rules seems occasionally pointed at Lan Wangji, which is odd. He doesn’t dwell on it, however. He’s gotten good at looking like he was paying attention while thinking of other things, and Jiang Cheng had a lot to think about.

~*~

Like before, WWX invites NHS to go fishing (and JC isn’t sure if he realizes that NHS has also come back yet - in fact, he’s pretty sure he doesn’t), only this time, JC agrees to go with them and WWX pulls LWJ along, leading the group far enough ahead that JC and NHS end up waking behind. NHS keeps up with looked wide-eyed and confused until they leave the main areas for the backwoods.

“So,” Jiang Cheng starts. “Something went wrong.”

“Obviously,” Nie Huaisang hisses, snapping his fan closed. “I woke up in the same room as him.”

JC winces, because yeah, awkward. “I’m a little surprised he’s still alive, actually.”

NHS’s jaw clenched, and JC was reminded very strongly of NMJ. “No one would support flat out murder, even if they don’t really care about the victim.”

“And it’s messy,” JC offered, dry. NHS looked at him from the corner of his eye.

“It’s so hard to get blood out of white fabric,” he agreed and JC laughed.

THAT gets WWX to spin around. “You laughed!” he accuses, pointing a finger at JC.

“So?”

“So I haven’t heard you laugh in years, Jiang Cheng!” he pouts. “Why do you laugh at his jokes and not mine.”

“You are an *actual child*--”

Then, of course, NHS gasps, his fan falling from his hand. JC, catches it, reflexively, startled at the horror he sees on NHS’s face as the show drops. “Wei-xiong, you— but you—”

WWX laughs awkwardly. “No need to worry, I’m —” probably going to say something about not being evil anymore, or not following the demonic path, but NHS cuts him off.

“Back from the dead!?”

Which is when JC remembers that they used Baxia in the ritual, and if his core was enough to bring back WWX, then maybe...

“Da-ge!”

MEANWHILE, in Qinghe, Nie Mingjue wakes up, which is odd, considering the last thing he remembered was dying. Perhaps he didn’t die? Unless the doctors had some new pain medications, he didn’t feel as if he had just had a near-fatal qi-deviation.

Tentatively, he opens his eyes and sees...his bedroom ceiling. How long was he sleeping that they brought him from Lanling to Qinghe? His door opens and he’s reaching for Baxia before he can think — and stops when he recognizes Nie Zonghui (though not before Zonghui notices the aborted movement). “Sect Leader....troubled night?”

Nie Mingjue snorts. “That’s one way to put it.” There’s something rattling around the back of his mind, some detail that doesn’t quite add up as Nie Zonghui helps get him ready for the day. It’s not just that Zonghui doesn’t seem surprised (or relieved) to see him up and awake, it’s the names that Zonghui mentions in is reports — names of disciples who are, like Zonghui himself, long dead.

It’s when Zonghui mentions that a messenger bird had arrived from Gusu that morning, carrying word that Huaisang had arrived safely and that Meng Yao would be leaving tomorrow to return to his duties that the other shoe dropped.

“Zonghui, there’s something I forgot to tell Huaisang. I need to send him a message, the faster the better.”

Zonghui gave a short bow. “Consider it done.”

BACK IN GUSU

Nie Huaisang was pacing atop a long, flat rock on the river’s edge. It wasn’t a very long boulder, maybe 5 or 6 steps at most, but it was dry so Jiang Cheng wasn’t too worried about him slipping. Besides, Lan Wangji was sitting only a few stones away, playing a soft melody on his guqin.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were both in the stream, robes and pants hiked up to keep them from getting too wet, as they waited to catch their dinner. Jiang Cheng remembered getting upset about WWX fishing their second night there, blatantly flaunting the “no killing” rule, but if LWJ felt like indulging his soulmate, what the fuck, then who was Jiang Cheng to complain.

On the rock, Huaisang was plotting out loud, starting ideas and rejecting them just as quickly. “You know, if you put this much effort into your studies this time, you might not have to come back again,” JC called over. Nie Huaisand didn’t even break his stride, just flapped his fan irritably in Jiang Cheng’s direction.

WWX darted forward, pulling a wriggling fish into the air in triumph. “Jiang Cheng, catch!” He tossed the fish, and Jiang Cheng caught it with ease. He considered, for a moment, throwing it at Nie Huaisang, but he was getting hungry. He tossed the fish into the bank, where it wouldn’t flop back into the water. Lan Wangji side-eyed it, warily.

“You know, he’s not actually done anything wrong yet,” Wei Wuxian said. “Can you really hold him accountable for actions he hasn’t taken?”

That made Huaisang stop. “To a certain extent, yes, I can.” That got him a *look* from both LWJ and WWX. “Look, all the decisions we make are influenced by the lives we live. And no, as far as I can tell, Meng Yao didn’t come back with the rest of us - and I still don't’ know why you came back too, Lan Wangji,” LWJ makes a gesture that is far too elegant to be, and yet totally is, a shrug, “but so far, Meng Yao’s life is *exactly the same* as the Meng Yao who committed those acts. That means Meng Yao is the same man who WILL make those choices, barring a MAJOR shift in the way he views the world.”

“Can we cause that shift, then?” Wei Wuxian asked. “I just don’t know if ‘kill him dead’ is always the best course of action.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes narrowed, a fraction of the coldness Jiang Cheng had seen that day seeping through, before his expression cleared a bit. “It would be a touchy subject for you, yes, but Meng Yao is not Wen Ning.” Wei Wuxian flinched, and, surprisingly, it was Lan Wangji that spoke.

“One cannot change another’s mind,” he said, vanishing his guqin and rising to his feet, one hand behind his back. “One can only show the path; only they can choose to walk.”

“And we have the path to show him,” Wei Wuxian argued. “Don’t we have a responsibility to try, knowing the damage he can do? If we know we have the opportunity to change things and save lives, are we not bound to try? Is that not why Jiang Cheng was sent back in the first place?”

“I’m fine with killing him,” Jiang Cheng said. “He deliberately uses his own weakness to learn the vulnerabilities of others, and then uses that as leverage to get what he wants and then discard them once his objective has been met. He uses Jin Zixuan’s better nature against him. He used Mingjue’s sense of fair play against him and then used his biggest fear to kill him, and he used Zewu-jun’s kindness as a shield.” He looked up at Nie Huaisang. “Though, if you’re right and he’s back too, Meng Yao might not live long enough for us to do anything about it.”

“Oh no,” Huaisang said, voice dryer than dust. “What a tragedy.”

“His information was key in winning the war,” Lan Wangji said. “Can we win against the Wens again without him?”

“Hey, yeah,” Wei Wuxian added. “Speaking of - am I going to have to...” he trailed off, miming playing a dizi.

“You better not!” Jiang Cheng snapped. Wei Wuxian looked at him in surprise, then smiled sadly.

“No, you said not to, and I won’t refuse a direct order from my sect leader,” he said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I know how.”

“Meng Yao wasn’t actually that good a spy,” Nie Huaisang said, a faint frown between his brows that Jiang Cheng didn’t trust at all. It meant he had noticed something and was putting pieces together that Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure he wanted known. “More than once his information was either wrong or outdated. A lot of the correspondence was kept for our records, and I went back to check once I had my suspicions about him.”

“You think he was playing both sides?” Jiang Cheng asked. Nie Huaisang fluttered his fan and didn’t disagree.

Between them, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian caught more than enough fish to feed Huaisang as well, and he and Lan Wangji were both invited back to the Yunmeng dorms to eat with them and their sister. Yanli was surprised, of course, but rolled with it well enough. Luckily, she had chosen to make a soup that was in line with Gusu Lan’s dietary restrictions, so Lan Wangji was able to join them. WWX and JC exchanged smug looks when Lan Wangji blinked down at his soup in surprise, and began to eat more quickly.

Later that night, while WWX was walking LWJ back to his rooms, Yanli poked her head into JC’s room. “Second Young Master Lan seems to have taken quite a liking to A-Xian,” she said.

JC nodded, because that was certainly one way to put it.

“Which makes sense, A-Xian can be very charming,” she continued. “But from what the other female disciples tell me, Second Young Master Lan is ...” he paused, and Jiang Cheng filled in:

“A giant stick in the mud?”

“A-Cheng!” Yanli scolded, but there was laughter behind her voice. “...essentially, yes.”

Jiang Cheng sighed. He had no idea what to say here. He was never good at lies, never LIKED lies, preferring to neither confirm nor deny another’s suppositions when the need for secrecy was necessary...and he had never been able to lie to Yanli. Never wanted to. And besides, Nie Huaisang hadn’t covered this possibility with him.

“A-Jie,” he said, “There’s something I want to tell you, but it’s going to sound like a lie even though it’s the truth. I need you to hear me out, and to believe me, and I will do whatever I can to convince you that it’s real and true.”

And...he tells her. Flat out, just tells her about living the next ten years of his life - the end of her engagement, the indoctrination in Qishan, the burning of Cloud Recesses and Lotus Pier, the death of their parents, losing his core, gaining his core but losing Wei Wuxian, the War, her marriage to Zixuan, A-Ling, Nightless City, Nie Mingjue, death after death after death — and Nie Huaisang, like vengeance made flesh, with a crazy, desperate plan.

“So, yeah. They’re close because they’re, like, in love or whatever.”

“Because they’ve known each other for ten years.”

“Seven,” Jiang Cheng corrected. “They only had seven.”

Yanli looks a little stunned wild-eyed. She had looked sad yet resigned when she had heard about her engagement ending, hopeful when she heard about their wedding. Her eyes had shone suspiciously when she heard about Jin Ling...a few tears falling when she heard about Qongyi pass and Nightless City.

“Do...” he began. “Do you believe me?” he asked, voice small and hating it, but he couldn’t stand it if Yanli thought he would make this up.

Slowly, she nodded her head. “It sounds...wild,” she said. “But I know my A-Cheng. He is honest, and would not make up wild stories like this. So, if A-Cheng says it, it must be true.”

“A-jie,” He said, and had to stop, his voice choked off, and when Yanli leaned in to hug him, his tears were sweet with relief.

~*~

The next complication came the next day, at the presentation ceremony, when, once again, Wen Cho showed up to interrupt Yunmeng Jiang’s gifting. It took everything in him not to punch Wen Chao in his smug face with Sandu unsheathed, and Wei Wuxian was a dark, simmering presence next to him. Somehow, the steps played out like they had before - a brief exchange lead to swords drawn, lead to Xichen stepping in and Wen Qing soothing tempers with quick words.

Jiang Cheng wasn’t prepared to see her again. Her, or Wen Ning, who was a remarkably still shadow behind her. When they left, his eyes stayed lowered towards the ground. There was nothing to make Jiang Cheng think that there was something different, except the long running knowledge that he had the worst possible luck.

WWX was strangely unwilling to approach Wen Ning first, though he clearly wanted to. Some misplaced guilt, perhaps. He still clung to LWJ’s side, which was in no way avoidant behavior, WWX, but Jiang Cheng was surprised when Wen Ning found him first.

“I knew it!” Jiang Cheng cried out, to everyone’s surprise, even Wen Ning. He gestured at Wen Ning. “WWX’s here because he’s tied to me, and Wen Ning here is tied to Wei Wuxian.”

“That still doesn’t explain Lan Wangji,” Nie Huaisang said, tapping his fan against his cheek.

“Nothing explains Lan Wangji.”

“Aiya, Jiang Cheng, so mean!”

None of this has much of an effect on the present moment, however, save that it causes Nie Huaisang to adjust his plans *again*. “No one else has better come back!” he demanded. “All of these calculations are hard, and I am *delicate,* Jiang Cheng.”

“Yeah, a real wilting flower.”

Later that night, just before curfew, a missive arrived to Nie Huaisang from his brother. Huaisang walked as fast as he could manage from the Nie Quarters to the Jiang, bursting into Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s room, holding the letter aloft, speaking as soon as he’s through the door: “It’s him! He’s alive! Da-ge’s back!”

Huaisang slammed the letter on the table, reaching for the nearby inkbrush, quickly grinding some ink to circle letters on the page. There, written in an otherwise standard letter reminding Huaisang to mind his studies and practice his saber, was the phrase: Do Not Trust Meng Yao.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[soldouthaz]

hey! 

since it’s about halfway through the year now and since someone has reminded me of that, I figured it might be nice to put together a list of my ultimate favorites from the first six months. thanks anon!! 

I am only including fics that were written this year, as per the ask! if you read, please make sure to leave a kudos or a comment for the wonderful authors! all fics are marked as b!L or b!H, so please stick to your own preferences! 

I’m going to organize these by word count for y'all as best I can :) please let me know if there are any mistakes etc, and happy reading! 

50k - 100k+ 

✰ collision (E, 224k, b!L) by @tequiladimples

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other. (Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

25k - 50k 

✰ pretty much anything by whoknows / @crazyupsetter (b!L) 

✰ push you out, pull you back in (E, 31k, b!L) by @behisoneandonly

Harry hates feeling vulnerable. Louis is set on breaking through his tough facade. 

✰ we both got nothing to hide (E, 43k, b!L, a/b/o) by @chloehl10 / lovelarry10

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

✰ tell it like an old song (E, 26k, b!L) by @outropeace

Harry is a bit lost (just like his memories), his best friend is hiding something, the love of his life is gone and love... love is like flowers.

✰ a trail of honey through it all (E, 27k, b!L) by @yvesaintlourent / faeriestyles

the TPH* fic we’ve all been waiting for. 

* trailer park!harry

✰ before we knew (E, 39k, b!L) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

✰ canyon moon (E, 40k, b!L, a/b/o) by @eeveelou / delsicle

An A/B/O Lion King AU 

✰ the space between (E, 40k, b!L, a/b/o) by @lads-laddylads

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why. Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

✰ my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) (E, 27k, b!L, a/b/o) by @risthebrave / falsegoodnight

Harry's new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

10k - 25k

✰ f*ck you betta (E, 11k, b!L) by @jacaranda-bloom

the one where Harry likes the thrill of the chase, Louis likes to be chased, and everyone gets what they need… in the end. 

✰ when tomorrow comes (E, 11k, b!L, a/b/o) by @jacaranda-bloom

the one where Louis is an Omega who has been keeping himself pure for his Alpha, Harry is a traditional Alpha focusing on his studies while he waits to find his bondmate, and Niall is a sneaky bastard who keeps borrowing Louis’ clothes and never returning them.

✰ come on over, we’ve got something to share (E, 12k, b!H, a/b/o) by @jaerie

Even as an unbonded omega with a four year old, Harry had everything he needed. His beautiful son, a nice apartment, money to pay the bills -- oh, and an alpha next door always willing to knot his brains out. 

✰ the way the storms blow (E, 21k, b!L) by rbbsbb

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

✰ we’ll be alright (E, 19k, b!L, a/b/o) by @jaerie

It started with things Harry could easily explain away. Having moved across the country for law school, feeling exhausted was something everyone around him was feeling. It was a heavy workload with pressure and stress but it was nothing Harry couldn’t handle - until he couldn't. In and out of hospitals for months, it isn't until the final hours that a diagnosis is made. After that, it's up to experimental treatments and will power to overcome the symptoms that he'll have to deal with for the rest of his life. Every step of his recovery is a struggle, but it's nice to have a therapist devoted to his well being, even if it forces him to make some decisions against his code of ethics. At least, in the end, he has hope.

note: make sure to check the tags on this one before reading! :) 

10k and under 

✰ connected to the heart (E, 9k, b!L) by @crazyupsetter / whoknows

A coda for Swallow The Knife

✰ let’s skip all the small talk (E, 5k, b!L) by @lilliandherself

Louis' friends force him to go on a roller-coaster. Harry is the fit employee that straps him in. They end up running into each other in the bathroom.

✰ whoever, however (E, 8k, b!H) by @brooklyn-babylon / @twopoppies

Louis could feel his heart rate pick up as he positioned the camera and Harry slowly stood up. They both knew what came next –– it had been clearly outlined in the advert Harry answered. The studio Louis worked for was filming a new series of camboy videos. Louis’ job was to make it look like amateur porn –– sweaty, sensual, dirty –– but well lit and edited. He was an artist, thank you very much. 

Or: Louis has a much better day at work than he’d expected. 

✰ just a bit of work (E, 4k, b!L, marcel) by missyoutoosweetcheeks

In which Marcel is a virgin, and becomes his office's amorous co-worker's next big conquest. 

okay I'm sure there are tons that I've forgotten but these are some of the ones that have really stuck with me so far this year!! I think I'll do a part two after the second half of this year and I can’t wait to see what other fics are released!! happy reading!!! :) 

[wickedw3asleys]

NEW ACCOUNT HERE!!

Hi everyone! So yeah, I'm a new Potterhead account... Never though I would end up doing it but well, shit happens and my 5 years old self is now thriving... ANYWHO, just wanted to post a quick message to let you know that my account will basically consist of imagines, drabbles, oneshots, etc... and reposts from other accs when I get my ✨juicy✨ finds. I also used to be a... *cough* kpopsmutaccount *cough* so I know my field, y'kno? No but seriously, I'm pretty excited to start writing for the Harry Potter universe cuz it's something I've literally grown up too and well, with all this new "shifting to Hogwarts" trend, it just made me want to write more.

Letting you know real quick about how I'll be running my account:

- I'm... A MESS. A literal mess, I am a 21 years old living on my own with my two cats and a job that I hate so BARE WITH ME PLEASE. I will try to write as much as I can and uptade y'all as much as I can too. On my other acc I used to have a pretty good relationship with my followers and I'd love to keep it that way cuz I lub u <3

- I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY KIND OF NEGATIVITY ON THIS ACC. Anyone that says the slightest, THE SLIGHTEST, offensive thing will be automatically blocked. Homophobia, racism, bullying and any kind of negative vibe is NOT accepted here.

- I plan to keep my requests open ALWAYS. As I said I have a job that takes basically half of my time so I don't promise to write everyday or answer you right away, but I promise that I'll do the best I can. So I'll leave them open so you guys can send me your atuff and requests, and I'll gladly look through them whenever I can 🥰

- I am ready to write a lot of different things, like smut, angst, fluff, different kinks, etc... I am open to a lot of things so you guys can feel accepted and enjoy my writings, BUT... since I am a heterosexual ciswoman, I have to admit that I don't really know how to approach LGBTQ+ themes, let me explain myself: as a heterosexual woman, it is easier for me to write something under my point of view, for example harry potter x female reader. BUT that does not mean that I won't try my best to write some female x female, or male x male, or even for non binaries babies. I'll always try to inform myself the best I can so I am sure to not offend you and so you can feel comfortable reading my stuff. And so with that, I please PLEASE, beg you to inform me if I make a mistake or if I unintentionally offend one of you, it will never be my intention and if I have to delete or edit something wrong, I'll gladly do it. Everybody should feel accepted and safe on here, PERIOD.

- NOW FOR THE SMUTTY PARTS, the kinks. There are some kinks that I will not write about, just because I don't feel comfortable about them. I do not kink shame!!!! And I'll never will!!!!! But I'd rather be straightforward and tell you. So basically all that is with feet or really extreme stuff, I don't do, sorry. I can go with spitting, pegging, threesomes, voyeurism, ALL THAT STUFF, but please not the feet. I have trauma, I have issues, I know, we've all been there.

- (EDIT) But I'm okay with the daddy stuff... Like y'kno... Sirius Black... Remus... y'kno...

And well... I think that's basically it... I don't have anything else to tell you I think, and in case I forget something I'll just post another message so I can inform you more. Anyways, I hope you'll like my account and that you'll feel comfortable on it. My DMs are always open too, in any case you need to talk, so yeah, I want you to feel like you're on a friend's account.

Love you and I hope to get your support and feedback! ❤️

[slytherinprincess03]

Heartbreak

Hello everyone. Welcome to my first fanfic on Tumblr.

Just so you know, besides this being my first one shot on Tumblr, it is also one of my first stories in English. You see, English is not my native language. So please bear this in mind if you come across any spelling, grammar, etc mistakes. And please let me know if you find any. Oh, and if you have any tips about writing, please let me know that as well. I really want to improve my (English) writing.

Anyway, on to the story. Happy reading y'all 🙂

After all of my classes, I decided to look for my boyfriend, since I haven't seen him all day long. Normally he walks up to my house table with breakfast, wishes me good morning and kisses my cheek. But today he was nowhere to be found.

Instead of finding my boyfriend, I've found his friends, chatting away in a corridor.

"Hey have you guys seen Liam? I've been looking for him all day, I have a surprise for him." I ask them, but as soon as I walked up to them, they didn't dare to look me in the eyes.

"Guys? What is the matter with you?"

"Uh sorry Melody, we have to go. Detention with Snape. Bye talk to you later!" They all hurry off "wait!" I call after them and manage to grab one of their wrists.

"Please, Anna, tell me what's wrong. I'm starting to worry."

She bites her lip and shoots me a sympathetic glance. "I'm sorry Mel, but Liam should tell you that."

"Can you at least tell me where he is?"

She looks over at her friends doubtfully, who are watching us carefully from the end of the corridor.

"I guess, he's in the Room of Requirement."

"The Room of Requirement? W-" before I could finish my sentence, Anna already took off and disappeared around the corner along with her friends.

"Weird" I mumble to myself.

I shrug it off and head towards the Room of Requirement.

Once I stand in front of the wall, I think about Liam and walk a few times up and down the hallway, until a door appears in the wall.

Hesitating I walk towards the door, something tells me I won't like what is behind the door.

I decide to ignore the feeling and walk into the room. At first, I don't see - or hear - anything out of the ordinary, but once I walk further into the room I notice clothes lying on the floor. When I listen carefully, I can also hear moaning, coming from my right.

Once again I hesitate to walk further, but I know Liam, he wouldn't cheat on me, right? There must be an explanation for the moaning and the clothes, which are scattered all over the place.

When I turn around the corner, I can hear my heart breaking into little pieces. Now I understand why his friends were acting so strange. I never thought Liam would cheat on me and yet here is the evidence, right in front of me.

For a moment I am frozen on my spot and can only watch in horror at what is happening in front of me.

“Liam?” I whisper in shock, my voice cracking.

His movements stop once I call out his name, and he turns around shockingly “Mel, I-” he begins, but I cut him off, shaking my head. 

Tears gather in my eyes and I feel my bottom lip starting to tremble, before he can say anything else, I turn around on my heel and hurry out of the Room of Requirement. Faintly, I hear him calling my name, but I just keep on running. 

Tears blur my sight and at some point I don’t even know where I am any more, just when I wipe my tears away to see where I am, I bump into something hard and solid. “Sorry” I mumble without looking up and start to walk away, but at that moment the person I bumped into, grabs my wrist. “Melody?” I hear a familiar voice call out softly, I look up into a pair of grey eyes which I haven’t seen for a while. “Draco” I breathe out, “are you alright?” he looks at me questioningly. I nod lightly, while trying to avoid his gaze because I know he could read me like a book if I were to look at him.

Pausing for a few seconds, he sighs, contemplating what he should do. “You know Mel, even though we haven’t-” he pauses for a minute, searching for the right words “-talked nor seen each other for months, I can still tell when you are lying” “I know we didn’t part ways well” he continues, “but I want you to know you can still talk to me, if you’d like that of course.” I peer at him through my eyelashes and notice he looks at me concerned, yet sincere. For a moment I hesitate if I should tell him about what I just witnessed, but then I realize he wouldn’t judge me, even though he warned me about Liam. 

“Alright” I let out a sigh, I know I can’t keep lying to him, “but not here,” I say while grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the Slytherin common room.

~~~~~~

Once we arrive at the Slytherin Common room, I drag Draco up to my private dormitory. I wouldn’t want anyone eavesdropping on our conversation. I quickly close the door behind him and kick off my shoes, crawling on my bed and grabbing a pillow, cuddling it hard against my chest. 

For a moment, neither of us uttered a word, enjoying the surrounding silence. I feel content and at peace, before remembering the fact that Liam has been cheating on me, for Merlin knows how long. 

Looking up at Draco I can see him staring at me with a questioning glance in his eyes. I let out a sigh before muttering “you were right” “I’m sorry, what?” he shoots me a confusing look, as if he didn’t quite hear me.

“You were right. About Liam” I clarify “what did that tosser do?” he looks at me angrily, although I know the anger is meant for Liam. “Lately, he has been distant, I figured he was sad about something, so I wanted to cheer him up with a surprise. But I couldn’t find him, so I asked his friends, who were acting all strange, and they said he was in the Room of Requirement. I found him there, but he was naked with another girl. He was cheating on me Draco and Merlin knows for how long” I sob in my pillow, wanting to just disappear and never face Liam again. 

I heard Draco shuffling around, but I didn’t dare to look up, afraid he would laugh in my face for how stupid I have been. For how stupid I have been to not listen to his multiple warnings. For how stupid I had been to let Liam drive us apart, to let him ruin the friendship we had. Seconds later, I felt his arms sneak around me, holding me against his chest. “It’s alright, I’m here” he whispered while kissing the top of my head. 

At that moment I realized Draco Malfoy was one in a million. After all I’ve done, no matter how much our friendship had been ruined, he still was there to comfort me. I realized Draco is a much better person than Liam, I realized I wanted our friendship back and I realized that I was utterly in love with him. After denying my feelings for Draco for years, it finally came to the surface. I couldn’t deny it any longer. I pulled a bit back, to be able to look him in the eyes, drying my tears in the meantime. “I’m sorry Dray, I should’ve listened to you. Instead, I pushed you away, I shouldn’t have let Liam ruin our friendship” 

“It’s alright, Mel. I understand, love can be blinding and what matters the most is that we found each other again” he smiles softly at me while caressing my cheek. 

For what seems like minutes, we lock eyes with each other before I can even comprehend it, I feel a pair of soft lips being placed on mine. At first, I’m not sure what to do, but then I start to give in, never wanting to get rid of this feeling. I snake my arms around his neck and pull him as close as humanely possible to me. Playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck, I slid my tongue inside his mouth, pulling him on top of me. 

Before we can go any further, Draco quickly pulls away as if stung. “What's wrong?” a questioning look in my eyes. “This is wrong, you just broke up with that wanker and here I am, kissing you. I’m so sorry Mel, I didn’t mean to. I-” Draco keeps on rambling until I cut him off. “I appreciate you thinking about my feelings, but you’ve got it all wrong, Dray. You see, I kissed you back for a reason” I confess, feeling my cheeks heat up. 

He stares at me, mouth agape. Even in that moment, he looks like the cutest boy I have ever seen and I’m practically melting on the spot. I can’t stand the silence any more and blurt out the first thing which comes to my mind “I love you Dray, I always have and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner” “y-you w-what?” he stutters, which makes him adorable. I smile softly at his confusion “maybe this message is clearer” I lean in and plant my lips on his, softly biting on his lip to allow me entrance again. This time our tongues are dancing fiercely, a soft moan escaping my lips. When we pull back for air, I giggle slightly at the sight of his flushed face. 

“I love you too,” he tells me while enveloping me in a kiss yet again. 

A/N

Well, this was it folks. I really hope you liked it :) 

I’m not completely satisfied, so I hope you guys will give me some feedback to improve my writing even more. Also, I take requests as well, so if you have any, just message me. 

Bye for now lovelies. 

Edit:

I’ve added the keep reading function, as I didn’t know how to do that before also I came across a few spelling mistakes, so I fixed that as well :)

[zombiiesque]

Nocturne Alchemy Halloween 2019 - Part Two

Originally published 10/10/2019

Hey y'all! Gonna dive right into these scents, today I'm reviewing the Resurgence scents that I have from the Nocturne Alchemy Halloween LC release. If you'd like to read my reviews of the new releases I chose, you can click here. NAlloween has always, and likely always will, be my favorite Limited Collection they do! I have so many treasures in my Halloween box.

Scarlet Bat - Red Sugar, Crimson Musk, Black Tea Leaves, Neroli-sugar, and NA Black Patchouli Absolute. Okay, my friend Heather picked this one up before I did last year, and she fell head over heels for it. I was already eying it, because I had two previous Vampire Patchouli Bats that I loved, and it had Crimson in it. It had to be a gimme. Like this year's Vampire Bourbon Patchouli Bat, it was a stunner right out of the mail - and it's only gotten better as it ages. Seriously, it's utterly fabulous. Slinky and sexy, and I think even if you ordinarily don't like patchouli, you might find yourself surprised by this one. Put simply, this is sugared red musk and patchouli. Crimson is a softer red musk than Kashmir, but there's almost a spiciness to it. This just warms up on the skin and reaches out, pulls you in. I crave this one when I haven't worn it in a while. For me, my two favorites of the Vampire Patchouli Bats are the Bourbon, and Scarlet. Neither is to be missed. And I don't find it to be like anything I have in my collection, either.

V by Thoth - Incense, Sweetened spices of Cardamom, Cinnamon, Allspice and clove swirled with Vanilla pods, Ghost Musk and Copal Resin. V was a fan favorite last year - and for good reason. It's part of a set of 7 perfumes, each one designed by a House of NA perfumer. I remembered that I have another favorite Halloween perfume that Thoth did: Frank's Monster. I love that one, so I was pretty excited when I saw V was done by Thoth, too. Y'all, I have a lot of incense perfumes. They're something I just can't resist. Okay, confession time: I did love this one, I thought it was a beautiful perfume, but I didn't really get it until I pulled it back out after aging it over the year. I thought I perhaps had similar perfumes...well. I was wrong. I tried it again a few weeks ago, when the weather started to cool down here in Florida, and it absolutely floored me. It was like I was experiencing a whole new perfume - this is positively SPECTACULAR. Very, very different from my other incense perfumes, and it might just be my favorite yet. I don't know what Ghost Musk is, but if it's that beautiful musk I'm smelling here, I could go for a full 10ml bottle of it. It reminds me a bit of Egyptian Musk, but not quite as sweet - very clean, and very appealing - floaty. I think that's it, and if so....Y'ALL, PLEASE MAKE THIS I WANT IT! Hahaha. I think I might like Ghost Musk better than Cemetery Musk, and I love that one too. Anyway - I'm dwelling. This is balanced against a light incense, and the spices are very much in the background, just a nice warm hum of support. But the copallll. I'm sure everyone knows copal rules my world, when we discuss favorite notes. It adds a lovely smoky, slightly sweet depth to this. I'm fully mesmerized. Thoth has outdone himself. I think this is backup worthy. So, a lesson to be had here, and one I realize quite often - if you don't really love something, put it aside for a while, and see what happens when you return to it. And I want to reiterate, I really did like this - but I didn't see, last year, what I was supposed to see with it - aging it and trying it when the weather was a little cooler and dryer really changed my perspective of it, and now it's become an obsession and a Halloween favorite. If you were looking at this one and wondering if you need it - let me ask, do you like musk and incense? If so, you'd better run and get this before it goes away.

The Mummy Returns - Patchouli, Vetiver, Australian Sandalwood, Cardamom, Frankincense, Myrrh, Rock Rose, Labdanum, Siam Benzoin and Tonka Bean. I made a little mistake, and it's the first time I've ever done this. I usually have a solid idea of what I have in my boxes, particularly my Halloween box, but I ordered The Mummy Returns this year thinking I missed it last year, but after my order came in, I was digging into my Halloween box and pulled out....an aged bottle of The Mummy Returns. Yep. So I'll be putting up my new one for swap. At any rate, it just really proved to me about the differences aging makes in Nocturne Alchemy's perfumes, so I kind of enjoyed realizing the contrasts! The Mummy Returns is a resin lover's dream. It's a deep, dark, witchy scent. I love the balance between the sweeter notes, like the myrrh and cardamom, and the woods. I'm writing this based on my aged bottle, and it's just so....well, at the risk of sounding dramatic, it's deep and mystical, and I'll probably be using this for my rituals, I feel such a connection to it. I couldn't tell you how, but it's something I've smelled before - there's some memory I haven't tapped into yet. I find it to be comfortingly familiar, but at the same time, it feels solemn and sacred. If you are nervous of vetiver, as I am sometimes, it's not a note that stands out a lot here, I can barely discern it when I'm huffing at my wrists. So yes, The Mummy Returns is quite an intense experience for me, but I definitely would recommend this in a heartbeat if you, too, love resinous, woody scents with a little sweetness to them. It's a beautiful perfume. It lasts quite a long time on the skin, too - more than eight hours, and I would say it's on the stronger side, so try it sparingly at first, unless you love to slather like I do.

A Change of Heart – Copal Resin, Shiraz Wine accord, Kashmir Absolute, Indian Oudh, Leather accord and burning embers. This bottle actually was gifted to me by my friend Heather. When I first got it, the leather seemed a little loud on my skin - and that made me nervous, because I was thinking it would be more like Hokum, which is a snuggly, sueded leather. But I figured I'd put it away, and let it age - and it would probably balance itself out. Well, that's exactly what happened. This is one of those scents that you can identify the various notes, if you're familiar enough with them - but they compliment each other so well, they're seamless together. It's definitely a chilly day scent, I did try to wear it in the summer and I don't recommend that - it just doesn't do well in the humidity of Florida. But it's great throughout fall and winter - like the leather in Hokum, this is a snuggly, easy to wear leather, and the copal, wine, and red musk of Kashmir just meld together so well. The wine is sweet, and a nice foil - definitely not a sharp note. I do love the way NA does their wine notes. I'm actually kind of wanting to pick up She Could Raise The Dead, which also features a wine and leather combination - reviews are really intriguing for that, too. And I have totally fallen for both Hokum and A Change Of Heart, so I think I might need it! The copal is of course my favorite note ever - it's a little sweet, sticky, and resinous - and also a bit smoky. This really accentuates the smoky oudh when it starts to shine in long drydown. I'm not sure I am doing this one justice - it really is unusual, and striking. Leather was a death note for me previous to NA - I simply could not wear it. If I tried to put on a perfume that had leather as a note, it would take over on my skin - and I couldn't get away from it. But these soft leathers (vegan, by the way!) that Nocturne Alchemy uses are very wearable for me, and I really am enjoying being able to wear it!

Pirate Rum - Bay Rum and a Chypre of Lavender, Chamomile, Pirate Ship Cedarwood and Siberian Fir Needle with a touch of French Vanilla and Oak. I got this one for my fiance, as the notes reminded me a bit of his beloved Ghost Ship. I can only give you a brief impression of this as to how it smells on him, but I thought someone might be interested in hearing that, so I'm including it! So on him, the bay rum is a nice, round spicy scent. If you're thinking Old Spice, push that right out of your head - this is dark and sexy, and nothing like that old standby. Much more complex and well done. The woods in this are the perfect balance against the bay rum, and the chypre is clean, but not at all feminine, so don't let that lavender scare you. I love this on him. Long drydown is a deep, warm spice against weathered, well aged wood. Very appealing! I tried a drop on me, and it's very different with my skinistry. I get a lot more of the chypre and chamomile, the spice of the bay rum is sedated a bit. I think it might come out more with age, if you wanted to wear it as a unisex scent, though. It is there, it's just not as evident as it was on him. The wood notes are gorgeous - I loooove that fir and cedarwood against the slightly herbal chypre on me. I will say, I much prefer this on him right now.

And a bonus - Halloween 2020, which was given out as a sample with orders for this release. It's also available in the All Hallows' Eve section as part of the Permanent Collection, so if you love this, you can even get a big 10ml bottle! Notes: A special All Hallows’ Eve blend of 7 Sandalwoods (Hawaiian, Indian, Australian, New Caledonia, Indian Santalum Album, Karnataka Sandalwood, African Sandalwood (Baphia Nitida), Cardamom essential oil, Clove essential oil, Bourbon Vanille Absolute, Bastet Amber Absolute, smoked sandalwood infused with oak and pine smoke in the NA Studio. There was also a beautiful frosted black bottle, a special edition, along with Halloween 2018 and Halloween 2019, in frosted red and orange bottles, in the Halloween LCs this year. I had a feeling I was going to love this one right away - and I do. SEVEN. SANDALWOODS. 7, y'all! Now this will likely change and get even better with age, but my first impression of this? It is like a sister scent to Bastet Halloween 2016, which is one of my favorite PC scents. The spices in that definitely have a similar feel to the cardamom and clove in Halloween 2020, and of course the presence of Bastet Amber, one of my soul scents, is a star here, too. But those sandalwoods. So smooth. I'm making my way through that 2ml sample alarmingly quickly. Right now I'm not getting much of the smoke on my skin, but the clove starts out a little strongly when it's first applied. Once it warms up and sinks into my skin though, the other notes come out to play, and the clove sinks into the background to add a little spicy kick with the warmth of the cardamom. Beautiful for fall, truly. Brings to mind blue, blue skies, bright leaves, wispy white clouds. A fluffy scarf wrapped around your neck as you explore a farmer's market. That's the picture I have in my head when I huff at my wrist. I'll be reaching for this frequently. I can't really differentiate all the sandalwoods, but the blending of them reminds me just a bit of my beloved Pyramid Santalum. I think if you wanted more smoke, you could layer this with Titanosaurus - or if you wanted to really play up the sandalwoods, you could add even more Santalum or Pyramid Santalum, or Pteranodon. Hey, never enough sandalwood, am I right?

And that wraps up the second half of my NAlloween choices. Did you read the first half? What perfumes did you choose from this release? What are your favorites? I'm thinking about going back for one or two more, there are so many that caught my eye!