#if when Sparrow questions Normal’s taste in partners

[llumimoon]

My favorite Normal hc is that he’s really sweet and friendly with his friends and strangers but he’s fucking BRUTAL with his family.

I just think it’s really funny HAVAVSJAHSND like “here’s a tip, be a better sister! God!” and “Someone’s dead? Is that what you said? So that’s one us, and how many you guys?”

Normal’s tolerance for his family’s bullshit is SO LOW atm !! Get their ass !!!

[brightoakgame]

Halloween Short #4 - Patti

Patti’s ghost story is a little different, as I used an urban legend scenario for the base, rather than a specific written work. So for fun, I framed this short as the episode transcript of a misfit ghost-hunting podcast-- and in the process roped in the rest of the cast. Figures “Mayor” Patti would be the one to bring the town together, even if the brief was too silly for her tastes. 

As ever, editing and art credit to the wonderful Remnantation​

Notes: some minor swearing, references to alcohol, terrible jokes, and rampant silliness. Proceed at your own risk. 

(theme music plays)

JOHN: Hello, and welcome to Nice to Meet Boo, the friendliest ghost-hunting podcast around! If you’re a first-time listener, the way it works here is that you submit your tales mysterious and strange, and then we trot off and attempt to answer the important question: is the source normal--or paranormal?

MARYBETH: Spoiler: it’s not ghosts.

JASPER: Apart from when it is ghosts, of course.

JOHN: Ah, thank you both for speaking up! For our investigations, we have assembled a--er--balanced team of experts: on the side of skepticism, we are lucky enough to include my sister here, Dr. Marybeth Forster. 

MARYBETH: I am a temp. I am not part of this team.

JOHN: Ah, right. Sorry, Sister Mine, allow me to try again: this is our temporary skeptic, Dr. Marybeth Forster, who is with us because she is presently otherwise unemployed and has nothin’ better to do.

JASPER: (laughs quietly)

MARYBETH: Go to hell.

JOHN: On the other side of the spectrum, we’ve got here Dr. Jasper Lee, who’s a medium!

JASPER: Metaphysicist.

MARYBETH: What exactly are you a doctor of? Y’know, since metaphysics is not a real science.

JASPER: (sighs) While technically a philosophy, Aristotle founded it as a way of addressing that which natural sciences and mathematics cannot--

MARYBETH: Oh, so you’re comparing yourself to Aristotle now? Ooh, or are you channeling his ghost? Can you speak ancient Greek?

JASPER: ἕκαστος δὲ κρίνει καλῶς ἃ γινώσκει, καὶ τούτων ἐστὶν ἀγαθὸς κριτής. 

JOHN: And our last, uh, ‘silent’ partner, if you will, is Sparrow, who handles all our gadgetry and gizmos and whatsits, from the microphones and cameras and flashlights, to the crystals and candles and whatever the hell else Jasper--

JASPER: Doctor.

JOHN: --Doctor Jasper thinks’ll help us connect with anybody or, uh, anything on the other side. Unfortunately for you listeners, Sparrow seems to think podcasts are public speaking, so you won’t hear much on that end, but hey! Say hello, Sparrow!

Sparrow: …

JOHN: Eh, always worth a shot. Can’t actually hear you waving, but points for effort--and um, thankfully nobody can hear that other gesture you’re making, either, so you can just go back to doing whatever it was you were doing, then. 

MARYBETH: Or alternately, you can take that finger and--

JOHN: So there we have it, folks! A skeptic, a medi--a meta--metaphystist--damn, just can’t get my mouth around that one!--our trusty support, and me! I’m John Forster, and I like to keep an open mind.

JASPER: More like an open bottle.

MARYBETH: (snorts) Now placing bets that the only one drifting blindly into walls tonight is John. 

(theme music cuts in)

JOHN: Wait’ll you hear what we’ve got in store tonight, because it’s a doozy of a tale, comin’ to us from listener Kit! But first, real quick: Marybeth, why do ghosts like elevators?

MARYBETH: I told you, I’m not going to--

JOHN: Because they lift their spirits!

JASPER: Ανόητος.

MARYBETH: Still channeling Aristotle, are you?

JOHN: Well, Sparrow laughed. Unless you wanna speak up and contradict me? Ha, thought not! Kit wrote us--well, if you’ll do the honors, Jasper? 

JASPER: (sighs) Doctor, Doctor Jasper Lee. But fine. Kit submits the following account:

Dear Nice to Meet Boo Team,

I stumbled on your podcast and thought you might be interested in a strange experience I had a few weeks ago. While traveling, I was forced to take a detour on a small mountain backroad. The area is beautiful, but very remote, and it had been well over an hour since I’d last seen any other cars or signs of human life. So I was curious when I noticed a structure ahead, just off the roadside. As I got closer, it became clear that it was an old, mid-century diner--and I could tell even from a distance it was long abandoned. I mean, who was around to go there? 

MARYBETH: Not ghosts! 

JASPER: (sighs again) I can’t tell anymore if you don’t believe, or are simply afraid to.

JOHN: Right, we can get to investigating all that in a minute, if you’ll just continue?

JASPER: I slowed the car a bit as I got closer, so I could get a good look at it--and then just when I was in front of the entrance, the car engine died! Which was scary not because of anything to do with the old diner, but because of how far I was from any kind of help. I’d been out of cell phone service for miles and miles at that point. 

Getting out of the car, though, I was surprised to hear voices. I couldn’t tell what was said, but they were clear, and for a moment I wondered if the diner was operating after all, or if it was maybe one of those abandoned places that get tourists coming through and taking pictures? I didn’t see any other cars around, but walked up to the door and tried to peer inside. 

There was a woman standing behind the counter. I was surprised, but the inside looked much better kept than the outside suggested, so I opened the door--which was unlocked, and even still had one of those little bells on it that chimes when it opens or closes--but before I’d even set foot inside, she was gone. The interior now looked completely different, too, and obviously hadn’t been used for decades. 

MARYBETH: Ugh. I hate these stories.

JOHN: Why? They’re great!

JASPER: I ran back to the car, jumped in--and it started up again without any issue. I drove on, and never looked back.

JOHN: I like this one! Thanks for sending it in, Kit! Hey Jas--Doctor J: why are ghosts terrible liars?

JASPER: What? I don’t find them to be markedly worse than--oh. (sighs irritably) 

JOHN: Because you can--

JASPER: --see right through them, yes, fine, let’s move on. Kit very kindly included enough information on the location of this diner for us to track it down with a little research.

JOHN: We found it, and now we’re here on location! Right at sunset, too, which is terrific ghost-hunting time, I think.

MARYBETH: Speak for yourself. It’s going to get cold, and I’ll bet it’s dark inside already. We could establish the lack of ghosts just as easily by daylight.

JOHN: Now where’s the fun in that? Wouldn’t be half as scary. Let’s get started!

(theme music plays)

(sound of a car door closing, footsteps)

JOHN: Here we are, strollin’ up to this empty husk of a building that looks like it’s probably held together by nothin’ but rust and asbestos and--

JASPER: It’s locked. 

(spooky music cue)

JOHN: It’s locked! Our very first event: Kit quite clearly stated the diner door was unlocked.

MARYBETH: Woo. Guess that confirms it was ghosts all along, and we can go home now. (hissing and a loud popping sound in the background) What the f*** Jasper, are we breaking and entering now?!

JASPER: Yes. Are you coming?

JOHN: The door is now unlocked! (a bell chimes faintly) Soon the secrets of the ghosts will be ours!

(spooky music plays over echoing footsteps)

JOHN: Smaller than I thought’d be. 

MARYBETH: What, did you think it’d be bigger on the inside?

JOHN: Maybe. Say, anybody hearin’ voices, or seein’ anyone behind the bar? 

JASPER: Ye--

MARYBETH: No, and you’re always seeing things anyway, Jasper. Normal people can’t see or hear anything, because there isn’t anything to see or hear. (a clunking sound, followed by mechanical whirring) What the hell is that, John?

JOHN: Glad you asked! I thought it was unfair that Doctor J gets to have all the fun communicating with those beyond the veil, and so I brought some equipment of my own this time!

JASPER & MARYBETH: (in unison) Oh no.

JOHN: You can just put that box over there. Thanks for your support, Sparrow! Okay, so this doodad creates a kinda radio static, and ghosts can sometimes speak through the static because--I don’t recall why. But let’s try it! 

JASPER: I don’t think--

(loud buzzing and static plays; at one point, it is disrupted by what may be a voice, and then immediately cuts off)

JOHN: What’d you go and turn it off for, right when things were gettin’ good?

MARYBETH: It’s giving me a headache.

JOHN: But you heard it, didn’t you? The ghost spoke!

MARYBETH: I heard a lot of static. 

JOHN: But the voice at the end! You heard it, right? Sounded like it said--

MARYBETH: …noisy. 

JOHN: Noisy! That’s what I heard, too!

JASPER: Shocking.

MARYBETH: But it’s just the human predisposition towards pattern-seeking. It wasn’t actually a voice. It was only--

JOHN: Fine, we’ll call it inconclusive. Next one, then! I got a flashlight.

MARYBETH: All of us have flashlights.

JOHN: Nah, this is one of the twisty-ones. I’m gonna set it over here on the counter, where Kit saw the lady standing, and I am gonna twist it so it’s almost on, but not quite, and we can ask her questions, and she can answer by turning it on or off!

JASPER: I really--

JOHN: Okay, let’s get this turned--wait. 

MARYBETH: What now? 

JOHN: Sparrow, you put batteries in this earlier, right? (inaudible) It won’t turn on. Got any extras? (some rustling)

(spooky music cue)

JOHN: We’ve got our second event! The flashlight won’t turn on, even with fresh batteries!

JASPER: Truly, a mystery for the ages.

MARYBETH: Yeah. John, I admit it freely: I’ve been wrong all this time, ghosts are real, they made your flashlight not work--right when it’s getting dark, I notice--so let’s wrap this up and leave.

JASPER: Leave? Already? But you can’t think Forster’s nonsense actually counts as--

JOHN: I got one more! Sparrow, bring in the--yeah, that thing.

JASPER: What now…?

JOHN: I don’t remember what this one is called, but the lights’ll change colors when a ghost gets close to it.

MARYBETH: Really John, haven’t we had enough of--ahhh!

JOHN: See? See? It changed color! Hey, Miss Ghost, could you get a little closer to the-- 

(a heavy crash, gasping, footsteps, and the bell chime all in quick succession)

(cue spooky music)

JASPER: Well. I feel we’ve now established that the ghost doesn’t like your nonsense, Forster. Knock it off.

MARYBETH: I don’t like the ghost. Nope, nope, nope. Ouch! Who pinched me? John, I swear--

JOHN: A major event this time! Sorry, ma’am! We’ll get that mess cleared up and--wait, where’s Sparrow?

JASPER: Sparrow has just now decided to wait in the van, I believe.

MARYBETH: So much for our support.

JOHN: Just when we’ve made contact, too. Poor Sparrow is gonna miss out. Well, what’ve you got, Doctor J?

JASPER: Thanks to your fumbling around, this may take a--(a breath) Oh. She’s here. She’s…not pleased by us being here.

(a pause)

JOHN: What’s she look like?

JASPER: Tall. Quite beautiful. She’s in a white dress, and has dark hair and eyes. 

JOHN: Does she like jokes?

MARYBETH: I’m no psychic, but I feel absolutely certain the answer is No. 

JOHN: Worth a shot. Uh, sorry about the bad manners, Miss Ghost.

JASPER: That helped. She’s very elegant, and I get the sense etiquette is important to her.

JOHN: Ah! In that case, allow me to introduce myself. I’m John Forster.

JASPER: I’m Doctor Jasper Lee.

(a long pause)

MARYBETH: I am not doing this. 

JOHN: And this is my sister, Doctor Marybeth Forster. This is, uh, quite an establishment you have here, Miss Ghost. Can you tell me, are you aware that you’re--

MARYBETH: Dead and not supposed to be here?

JASPER: Shut up.

MARYBETH: (laughs nervously) Oh, a rude ghost!

JASPER: No, that was me. She’s well aware she’s a ghost.

JOHN: What has you lingering on, then?

JASPER: It’s her diner.

JOHN: Right. So, a special attachment to the place? 

JASPER: It is her place, why should she not be in it? Of course there is an attachment. It is mine.

MARYBETH: Ooh, I really don’t like it when you do that. Stop it.

JOHN: Clearly you ain’t just some kinda recording of history, then. What’re your aims? 

JASPER: Ah--hm--peace? Peace.

JOHN: As in, you come in peace?

MARYBETH: Why don’t you rest in peace, then?

JASPER: I would like to be left in peace, por favor. 

JOHN: ‘Por favor’? She’s speaking to--er, through--you in Spanish, then?

JASPER: She’s bilingual, and what I perceive are better classed as impressions of her thoughts, so it is a mix. 

JOHN: Hmm… You ain’t that La Llorona character, goin’ around stealing children, are you? 

JASPER: She says, absolutely not. The question is quite absurd. What should I want with children? She does not want children, she wants peace and quiet. And John, that’s a terribly rude question--it’s on par on asking a stranger with a British dialect if they’re Winston Churchill.

MARYBETH: You’d really put that past him?

JASPER: Not every ghost or spirit is a celebrity. 

JOHN: Fair ‘nough. What about adults? 

JASPER: (sighs heavily) What about adults? I have said I do not want children, why should I want adults, or anyone at all? I want to be left alone.

JOHN: Gotta ask, because we heard from someone that was passing by and happened to see--

JASPER: Ah, them. They looked lost, I wondered if they needed directions.

JOHN: Got it. So you’re not the Weeping Woman?

JASPER: (laughs, uncharacteristically brightly) Only when I am sad. What, are you the Noisy Man, because you do not stop talking?

MARYBETH: Pfft!

JASPER: You should not laugh. You are just as noisy, and less polite. 

MARYBETH: Shut up, Jasper.

JASPER: It wasn’t me that time. Though I agree with her.

MARYBETH: Ugh. 

JOHN: Just plain John’ll do fine. Can I ask your name, then, Miss Ghost?

JASPER: Claro que sí! I cannot seem to stop you from asking all kinds of questions. Her name is…Patti. Wait, no--Miss Patti? Apologies.

JOHN: Miss Patti, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. (a long pause) You still in there?

JASPER: She’s still here, she’s just torn between good manners and--well, I don’t think I need to repeat precisely what she just said. She wants us to leave, and is struggling not to say it outright. No, I have said it, again and again, quite politely, but you are not listening, and I am beginning to grow angry.

(gasps, a stifled shriek, something being dropped)

JASPER: Oh, okay. No more flashlights, understood. Um, we should go. Soon. 

MARYBETH: Don’t need to tell me twice. I’ll be in the van with Sparrow. (rapid footsteps; the bell chimes) Come on, John!

JOHN: All right, thank you for your time, Miss Patti. If I may, though, can I ask you just one more question? (a click) Oh! You turned the flashlight back on! Does that mean yes?

JASPER: I cannot seem to say No in a way you understand. Fine. Ask your question, but then leave, and take this nosy--oh, you mean me? Apologies, I didn’t--

JOHN: Last question, then we’ll go, scout’s honor: (a dramatic pause) Why didn’t the ghost dance at the party?

JASPER: Forster, for the--

JOHN: He had no body to dance with! Hahaha--ooookay, let’s go.

(rapid footsteps, the bell chimes, a door slams)

(panting breaths)

JOHN: You saw her too, right?

JASPER: I saw her the whole time, you damned--

JOHN: Dunno what I expected, but she looked nice, I thought!

JASPER: She looked furious!

JOHN: I’m pretty sure she laughed.

JASPER: I’m pretty sure you’re drunk.

MARYBETH: John! Thank god. You’re okay?

JASPER: He told Miss Patti a joke.

MARYBETH: S***, we’re going to be haunted for sure.

JASPER: I doubt it. She was quite ready to be rid of us. You believe in ghosts now though, correct?

MARYBETH: Well, I at least believe you and my brother are creeps who very well may have set up this whole--

JASPER: How? For what purpose?

MARYBETH: To scare me, of course!

JOHN: Oh! That would’ve been good, if I’d thought of it.

MARYBETH: I quit.

JOHN: Well, I’d’ve gone to Miss Patti’s diner, if it were still open. Sparrow! Glad to see you! Can you go back in to fetch our--oh, ah, that’s a no, I take it? Fine. Guess the next folks to visit can have it.

JASPER: It may be out on the front steps by morning. Miss Patti is an exceptionally… active ghost when it comes to protecting her space, it would seem.

JOHN: Well, maybe I’ll try and come by to fetch it then! Really feel there’s a lot of potential for--

JASPER: There’s a good chance she'll have permanently shorted all your ridiculous equipment. She really didn’t like it. 

MARYBETH: I didn’t, either, and if you try bringing more next time, I will break it myself. (a pause) I’m still quitting, though.

JOHN: To each their own. Well, Kit, I hope that this helps confirm matters for you: your diner is the place to eat, drink, and be scary! It’s definitely haunted by a real pretty ghost by the name of Miss Patti, and she’s in a bad mood. (cue theme music) Which leaves just one remaining question open in our investigation here, before we can conclude matters and head out to the next adventure: when does a ghost drink their coffee?

(groaning, a van door slams)

JOHN: In the moaning! (silence) Yeah, I--(an engine starts) Wait, dammit--Uh, thanks for listening, and we’ll boo back next week with more--now, hold up! Hold up, dammit, I--

(a bell chimes, faint laughter)

(cue theme music outro)

[eldritchsurveys]

904.

The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? >> A beverage.

Do you like clowns? >> No.

Have you answered all of these questions honestly so far? >> There have only been two thus far, and I can't imagine lying on a survey question anyway.

What's the third text in your inbox? >> ---

Are you listening to anything at the moment? >> No.

Do you twitch when your falling asleep? >> Yeah, sometimes. Or I have that sudden falling feeling and jerk awake.

Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? >> The dishwasher is either still running or finished running, so, either clean or about to be clean.

Are you at home or with friends more often? >> 98% of the time, I’m at home.

When is the last time you were on a bicycle? >> A year ago? At least? I don’t know. I tried to ride for a while but I’m too out of shape to enjoy it and it was discouraging. And by now, I’m worried it needs maintenance from having sat in the garage through a full cycle of seasons and I’m afraid to ride it.

What have you eaten today? >> A veggie burger and chips, a sandwich, and taco mac with Nuggs.

Would you date someone 15 years older than you? >> ---

Do you own a strapless bra? >> No.

Does the person you like know it? >> ---

Do you care if people hate you for no reason? >> I care in some circumstances, but not all.

Did anything brighten up your day today? >> I’m not sure. My day was pretty okay, though. To my pleasant surprise.

How are you feeling at this exact moment? >> Chill. A bit tired.

Are you someone who worries too often? >> I get anxious about things, but I’m not sure “worries too much” is applicable.

If you could date somebody who would it be? >> ---

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? >> Well, yeah.

What is one good thing you're known for? >> ---

How about one bad thing? >> ---

Are you taller than most? >> Most children, yeah. LOL

When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? >> Hmm... oh, I sang along to a Journey song while I was in the shower.

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? >> I like to be home.

What time do you normally go to bed? >> Between 10p and 12a.

What is one thing that is currently bothering you? >> My neck is still kind of sore, probably from sleeping wrong the other night or something. It’s getting better, but I also keep accidentally twinging it.

What did you do today? >> Read some of the book I’m on, watched a few episodes of Avenue 5, played some Torchlight 2, browsed tumblr, browsed Reddit. Not in that order.

Do you consider yourself to be attractive? >> No.

What was the last thing that you drank? >> A shandy.

Is anything annoying you now? >> No.

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? >> How would I know, unless they told me (and in my experience people generally do not tell)?

Do you regret going out with the last person you did? >> Eh. Not really. Like, it sucks and I hate that the trauma from those interactions is still haunting me and affecting my current relationships, but it is what it is. 

Do you realize it when you curse? >> I mean, more or less.

When was the last time you showered? >> This morning.

Who did you last talk to in person? >> Sparrow.

Do you ever have days where you just don't do anything? >> No. Even when I’m deeply depressed I will move my hands to put on Netflix (and then click “yes” when it periodically asks if I’m still watching), lol. That’s something.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? >> Yeah.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? >> ---

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? >> Maybe.

What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? >> ---

Best field trip experience? >> ---

Have you ever been to New York City? >> I used to live there.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be? >> What’s it cracked up to be, exactly? People say a lot of things about NYC, not all of it positive. It also depends on, you know... your socioeconomic standing. Wealthy folks’ NYC is a completely different place from poor folks’ or homeless folks’ NYC, despite being on the same patch of land...

What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? >> I have no idea.

What museums have you visited, if any? >> In NYC: MOMA, Museum of Natural History; in Philadelphia: Franklin Institute; in Chicago: Museum of Science & Industry, Adler Planetarium (it’s also an astronomy museum); in Michigan: Grand Rapids Art Museum, Grand Rapids Public Museum. Those are just the ones I remember, mind you. Might have been to a couple of others and just forgotten about them.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? >> Maybe when I was in school, idk.

What's your worst traveling experience? >> Probably every time I had to take a Greyhound from Colorado to NYC (or vice versa).

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? >> I’ve never played the first one. I like the vast amount of custom content resources for 2, the innovation of 3, and the continued innovation of 4. Otherwise, they’re mostly the same to me except the graphics just get smoother over the years.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? >> Yes. Poorly, obviously, for me anyway.

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? >> ---

Best muffin you've ever had? >> I don’t like muffins.

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? >> Once.

If so, was it required? >> No, it was an elective.

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? >> Hardly any. I just check it every few days or whatever, for messages mostly.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? >> I don’t know.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? >> I don’t care if people like the same music as I do, as long as they’re not rude about genres they don’t care for. I like talking about music with people, but it always ends up being this “this genre is better than that genre” or “this era is better than that era” circle jerk and that’s so fucking boring.

What is the strangest thing you've ever seen outside of your house? >> *shrug*

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? >> It can be a useful concept.

How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? >> Whenever I don’t have the energy to whole-ass something, but I don’t want to just not do anything at all.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? >> No. I feel annoyed when I have to eat around other people, because then I have to hear other people eating.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? >> Probably.

How reliable is your internet connection? >> It’s quite reliable.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? >> Yeah.

What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? >> I can’t think of anything off the top of my head.

What's the latest you've ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? >> ---

If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? >> It wouldn’t bother me too much. Unless my vision started failing really badly, because, you know... I like seeing.

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? >> ---

How many vegetarians do you know? >> I’m not sure.

Have you ever considered going to art school? >> No.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? >> No.

How quickly can you write an essay? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? >> In high school, i was put on multiple psychotropic/anti-depressant drugs, none of which I actually needed, so they all had pretty adverse effects on me. Including making me fall asleep in class almost constantly.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? >> I usually was.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager? >> ---

Favorite episode of Spongebob? >> I don’t like that show.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? >> I don’t want to call any of my emotional connections silly or odd. Especially since I have a hard enough time making them in the first place -- I want to encourage and support those connections, not disparage them. :/

Are your parents supportive of you? >> I took this survey almost a decade ago, and my answer then was that he was supportive even if he didn’t always approve. I was really on some bullshit then, I guess... because that’s just not true. He only supported what he thought was appropriate for me to be involved in, and when I invariably wanted to do or be other things, he was dismissive and almost derisive. Being supported in my being and endeavours is not a common theme in my life and it starts with that motherfucker.

How often do you take the train to go places? >> I don’t take it much anymore; the last time I took it was to go to Chicago and back, as an experiment (Sparrow wanted to see if it was truly better than driving there and back). When I lived in the City, of course, I took a subway all the time. Really miss that.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? >> I guess I would, if I found myself in a situation I thought was awkward. I usually don’t.

[featherwriter]

Fandom: Destiny Point of View: 3rd Person Present Tense, Female Warlock Characters: Sylvanni Duv (Female Awoken Warlock Guardian), Raven Curator (Female Awoken Warlock Guardian), Uldren Sov Rating: SFW Chapters: 1 - Complete Words: 5,212

Read on AO3

Sylvanni Duv isn't a Guardian who often goes out to socialize, but when a friendly acquaintance met in the field invites her for drinks afterward, she decides to accept. Unfortunately, meeting this new friend's lover is more difficult than expected, when it turns out he and Sylvanni have met... and it didn't go so well last time.

A gift and a thank you for @cosmicraven117, a dear friend who deserves the world. Raven belongs to her.

Sylvanni’s first indication that something is off is when she notices that they’re heading in the wrong direction.

“Ghost,” she says, “will you check the nav for me? I think we’re off-course.”

She can see the thrusters of the ship she’s following out the front panel still, which causes her to wonder if their guide has lost her way. Her Ghost confirms her suspicions a moment later. “We are apparently 12.3 degrees off the normal approach trajectory.”

Sylvanni frowns. “Open comms?”

“Online now.”

She clears her throat. “Raven, is your navigation system working correctly? My readings say we’re off-course for the Vestian Outpost.”

If they weren’t careful they’d wander out of the allowed airspace and raise the ire of the Queen’s Guard. When the Reef had been opened to Guardians, the Awoken court had made it very clear that the Traveler’s Chosen weren’t to traipse wherever they pleased. Guardians were allowed access to one outpost on the fringes and they weren’t to trespass elsewhere.

The crackly reply comes over the cockpit speakers a few moments later. “Not off course. We’re not heading to the Outpost.”

“When you said we should grab a drink at the Reef…”

“I’ve got a place in mind,” Raven says. “And don’t worry, they’ll let us in. I… know people here, you could say.”

Sylvanni shares a look with her Ghost at that, but decides not to question it. “Alright, lead on.” Though she worries about getting in trouble for it, she can’t say she’s sorry not to be at the Outpost. She’d certainly prefer somewhere that’s not crowded with other Guardians trying to find their way into the Trials or beg some mission off Variks or Petra.

She flips the comms off, hoping they aren’t about to be flagged down by a patrol at any moment. Contacts in the Reef? She’s heard of odder things, though she’s not sure why anyone would particularly want to make friends with Reef Awoken. The few times Sylvanni had interacted with them outside of the ‘Guardian-approved’ zones she’d found them hostile, rude, and more than a little condescending.

Perhaps this Raven had met a better crowd than she had. She didn’t know much about Raven, other than what they’d picked up of each other in the last few hours. The Vanguard had assigned them together in an open Fireteam for a strike and they’d stuck together for a few more after that, building up a good rapport.

Raven was a fellow Awoken Warlock, competent in the field and blessed with an easy friendliness that was hard to dislike. When their mission roster cleared, Raven had invited her for a drink at the Reef, and she’d agreed, though her Ghost had nudged her in the arm to make sure she didn’t say no. He always thought she didn’t socialize enough with other Guardians.

When Raven’s ship finally banks into a landing sequence ahead of them, Sylvanni takes stock of where they are. She doesn’t know the inner areas of the Reef very well, but she feels like this is at least near the same sector where she was taken for her royal audiences back when she’d hunted for the Black Garden. Though all of the Reef has a feeling of broken and scattered debris—likely an intentional camouflage—she can see hints of a nicer, more elegant architecture hidden within when they pass windows.

The oddities continue as they land and head into one of the structures. There’s Queen’s Guard at the hangar, but they don’t even bat an eye at the sight of two Guardians striding in. Raven leads the way, and after a short walk, stops at a nondescript door. Within sits an upscale lounge, with soft music playing throughout the room. It’s nicer than Sylvanni would have expected, with sparkling decorations and a mirror with frosted designs behind the bar. It’s a small space, and though there is a bartender, there’s no other patrons.

“So not only are you able to get into the Reef,” Sylvanni remarks as they walk in, “but you’re able to walk into places like this? These must be some friends you have, if I may say so, Raven.”

Raven grins. “That’s one way of putting it. Actually, I was hoping it might be alright if we had company? My, er, companion is here, and I haven’t seen him in several days. We try to meet up when I’m back at the Reef. Only if you don’t mind company, that is.” Sylvanni certainly catches the inflection on ‘companion,’ putting the pieces together. A Reef-born lover? That certainly explains the access. “By all means. If he doesn’t have a problem with Guardians, I don’t have a problem with him.” Her curiosity is certainly a factor in the decision as well.

The bartender brings them over drinks, though they haven’t ordered anything. Perhaps, Sylvanni thinks, Raven is enough of a regular here that he just knows what to bring. It’s an odd sort of cocktail, swirled blues and violets with an iridescent shimmer. The taste is fruity and bubbly, but with a sharp burn. Sylvanni likes it quite a bit.

As they settle in, Raven leads the conversation, more at ease in this setting, going over some of the more exciting moments from their last mission. There were a few times where they were forced to go separate ways, and Raven tells of a sniper duel she ended up stuck in with a Taken Vandal who kept throwing up shields as soon as she fired. She seems to be coming to the conclusion of the tale when she gets a beep from her comms.

“Oh, I think he’s outside,” Raven says, her smile growing wide. “I’ll go let him know we’re in here.”

Sylvanni moves to stand as well. “I might try to see if I can get another of… whatever this is from the bar while you get him.”

“Ask for an Aurora Midnight,” Raven offers.

“That’s a good name for a drink.”

“I know, isn’t it?” Raven laughs, then turns for the door.

Sylvanni takes her time at the bar, leaning on an elbow as she orders another. Every so often she glances toward the entrance, but Raven and her companion seem to be taking a private moment to themselves, which she can understand.

“You’re a… Guardian, right?”

She turns back to see the bartender setting her glass down, the dark liquid dancing within. She nods, picking it up to take a sip. He doesn’t sound accusatory, just curious. “I am, yes.”

His eyes shift to her Bond. “That armband, that means you’re a Warlock, like Lady Curator?”

“Pardon, who?”

“Lady Curator.” He nods toward the door. “Who you’re here with?”

“Oh, you mean Raven? She didn’t tell me her surname. I apologize for not recognizing it. But yes, I’m also a Warlock. This is a Bond, it helps focus my Light.”

For a moment, he looks like he’s planning on asking her something else, but the door opens, and he ducks his head instead. “I should let you get back to your friends.”

“Thanks for the drink,” she says, giving him a nod, then turns to head back to the table.

And then immediately freezes as her blood runs cold.

Raven is back with her partner. At least, that’s who Sylvanni assumes has his arm around Raven’s shoulders. But the thing that makes her vision go red is the fact that it’s none other than the Prince of the Reef.

“ Uldren .” The name is half-choked, half-hissed as it leaves her lips. She feels rooted to the ground, feeling the weight of the situation and etiquette warring with her nearly overwhelming need to lunge forward and strangle him. Her mind plays their encounter on Mars over and over in her thoughts, the feeling of his knife in her neck, the terror when he’d disabled her Ghost, the little smirk he gave her as he stole her Sparrow.

His reaction to her is milder, a slight widening of the eyes, but perhaps that’s just because he’s better at hiding it. “Sylvanni Duv? This is… a surprise.”

“Wait,” Raven says, looking between the two in innocent confusion. “You’ve met before?”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Uldren says mildly. Though he’s outwardly relaxed. Sylvanni can feel how sharply he’s watching her, waiting for her to make a move, seeing if she’ll attack him or cause a scene.

Deep down, she knows if she doesn’t get out of here, she probably will.

“I need to go,” she says, the words stiff and clipped. She breaks eye contact with Uldren finally and forces her head to down as she marches for the door. She leaves her drink sitting on the bar, forgotten.

“Sylvanni?” Raven calls, obviously worried for her.

Out of the corner of her eye as Sylvanni reaches the door, she sees Uldren waving Raven back, telling her he’ll take care of it. Sylvanni truly doesn’t know what she might do to him if he tries.

She marches through the corridor outside, wanting nothing more than to reach her ship and get away from this whole mess. It was a mistake to come here. Of all the people in the Reef, it had to be him, didn’t it? She shakes her head, still feeling that burning anger and frustration building, her outrage at what he did to her. She wants to go back there and tear him to shreds, but her self-control stays her hand.

That is, until she hears hurried footsteps behind her. That had better not be who I think it is.

“Duv, wait!” It is Uldren, or his voice at least, which brings a grimace to Sylvanni’s face. She doesn’t look back, doesn’t break stride. She can see the door to the hangar bay up ahead and she prays he’ll take the hint and realize that he’s the last person she wants to speak to right now.

Unfortunately for her escape plan, he does not, and instead sprints to catch up with her, grabbing her wrist to pull her to a stop. She’s so tense, already primed for a fight, that instinct takes over at the physical contact. In a second, she whirls on him, drawing her sidearm and forcing the barrel to his forehead. It’s a slick little blue Omolon piece, and the ammo sloshes in the chamber as she whips it into position. He stills instantly.

“The next time you lay hands on me is the last time you have hands, Sov,” she snarls, itching to pull the trigger right then and there, begging him to give her a reason.

At the end of the hallway, the Queen’s Guard have snapped to attention, seeing their prince threatened. They start to run up, spears at the ready, but Uldren stops them.

“Stand down,” he says, still with that infuriatingly calm tone. He releases her wrist, and holds up his hands where she can see them. “Can we just talk for a moment, Guardian?”

Sylvanni doesn’t lower her weapon. “Why the hell would I want to do that? To give you a chance to murder me again?”

His brow knits, annoyed at her anger. “Is that what you’re upset about? I’d hardly call it ‘murder’ when you’re standing here, perfectly fine.”

“You shoved a blade through my spine,” she hisses. “I’d say it damn well qualifies. You practice that on your girlfriend back there? Figure out how to disable Ghosts using hers first?”

His expression darkens, and Sylvanni feels a little satisfaction at knowing she hit a nerve. “Raven has nothing to do with this.”

Sylvanni lowers the sidearm, but doesn’t put it away. Her urge toward physical violence starts to ebb away as she lays into a verbal evisceration instead. “That’s the real surprise here, isn’t it? You taking a Guardian lover.”

“That’s enough,” he snaps back, “Insult me all you wish, but leave her out of it.”

“Why? I can’t imagine you actually care for her. That would require having a goddamn emotion for once in your life.” She barks a bitter laugh. “Here I thought you despised our kind, but maybe it’s just that I’m not your type. ”

“She’s different,” Uldren says firmly, visibly holding back his own temper now.

“Sure she is,” Sylvanni sneers. “Is it the red hair? Wouldn’t have pegged that as your ‘thing,’ but I guess we’re learning all kinds of things about each other now, aren’t we?”

He closes his eyes, taking a moment to calm himself, and when he speaks again his voice is soft. “I knew her. Before she died.”

The unexpected admission is like a physical blow, the sudden shock evaporating Sylvanni’s anger in an instant. The impact of it reminds her of the time she was once kicked in the chest by a Cabal Legionary. She feels like the wind has been knocked out of her completely.

She blinks, stuttering. “Y-you... what?”

“Raven was Reef-born, before she died. We were... together then.” His quiet tone gives an unexpected sense of vulnerability to the words as he continues. “When she died, I was devastated. And when she… returned, I was furious.”

Sylvanni tries to process all of this, but she feels dazed from the emotional whiplash of it all. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll admit,” he says, mouth twisting, “that some of my… displeasure with Guardians was my disgust after seeing what your Traveler had turned her into. I wished to grieve, and instead I was forced to see a mindless husk wearing her face, using her name.”

She feels a small jolt at the talk of Guardians as ‘mindless husks,’ a sentiment she’s had to face herself many times in her long life, and never with a satisfying answer. This isn’t about her, though. Her eyes drift back the way they came, toward the lounge. “But… you and she are…”

“Yes,” he says, with a single nod. “I was wrong. And she found a way to restore her memories.”

“She…” This one feels like being doused in ice water, sharp and jarring. Guardians aren’t supposed to remember their pasts. Sure, everyone wondered, but know one actually knew . “She remembers her life before? How is that possible?”

He shakes his head. “These are her stories to tell, not mine. But that brings me back to you and me. Raven must like you, if she brought you back here.”

“We were only assigned together for a few missions,” Sylvanni says, shying away from the acquaintance, still looking for an escape. She doesn’t want to go back in there, not after storming out like that. “I barely know her.”

“Then perhaps she wishes to know you better,” he says. “Regardless, I know she’ll be upset if I drive you away in a fit of rage. I know our history has been… complicated.”

“That’s putting it rather lightly,��� she says, raising an eyebrow.

He sighs. “I’m not asking you to forgive me, or even like me. But it’s only a drink. Can we declare a truce long enough for a civil conversation? For Raven’s sake?”

She goes quiet, considering. That frustration is still there deep down, her hatred toward him over how he treated her at a time she was going out of her way to help. Emotionally complicated social situations aren’t exactly her forte either, and she knows if she goes back in, there’s going to be awkwardness and confusion to sort through. Even thinking about it makes her want to turn and sprint for her ship now.

But on the other hand, she’s never seen Uldren Sov like this. This softer version of the prince who, despite her insults earlier, very obviously does care for this Raven, and is willing to extend an olive branch in order to make her happy. And despite feeling like it could be a dangerous knowledge, the curiosity of a Guardian who managed to reclaim her memories feels too important to pass up.

Finally, Sylvanni sighs through gritted teeth and holsters her sidearm. “Fine. A truce, for the sake of a casual drink. But I’m not thrilled about it.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to be.” He gestures down the hall. “After you?”

She crosses her arms. “No, you first. The idea of you walking behind me makes the back of my neck itch. Can’t fathom why.”

“Fair enough.” A little smile crosses his lips and he turns to walk back. She waits until he’s a few steps away before she starts to follow.

Traveler preserve me, she thinks, hoping she’s not just made a huge mistake. Casual drinks with Uldren Sov and his Warlock lover. What am I getting myself into?

Her stomach churns in knots as she follows Uldren back. The closer they get, the more she feels she must be making a terrible mistake. By the time they reach the door, she’s all but ready to bolt again, but Uldren turns back to look at her, raising an eyebrow.

Something inside her steels. If she runs, it looks like she’s scared, and she will not be intimidated, certainly not by Uldren Sov of all people. He holds the door for her and, taking a deep breath, she heads back inside.

Within, Raven stands immediately as she sees them both, worry plain across her face. “Sylvanni, is everything alright? Uldren, what happened?”

Sylvanni holds up a hand, forcing a smile to her face. “It’s fine, everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left abruptly like that. It was extremely rude. I was just… very surprised to see Ul– er, His Highness, again unexpectedly.”

Uldren crosses back to the table, leaning in to kiss Raven’s forehead and encouraging her to sit down again. “The fault was mine,” he says, much to Sylvanni’s shock. “Lady Duv here was kind enough to assist me when I was in need, and I repaid her kindness very poorly. She had every right to be upset with me.”

It takes all of Sylvanni’s will not to go slack-jawed at the admission. Who is this and what has he done with the asshole I dragged across Mars a year ago? Trying to ignore her own awkwardness, she sits down across from him.

Raven frowns at him. “I don’t think you told me about this…”

“I… did not,” he says slowly. “It wasn’t the most flattering of stories for me. Lady Duv helped me after my crash from the Dreadnaught, and though she’d come up with an admirable plan to help me get back to safety, I… abandoned her a few days in and took her Sparrow with me.”

Sylvanni raises an eyebrow at ‘abandoned.’ Leaving out the grisly details, are we? But this was more civil than she’d ever seen him and he did seem to be making concessions towards her. It was far more than she would have expected. Perhaps she could let him keep his cleaner version. They were supposed to be under a truce, weren’t they?

“I’m sure… you were only doing what you had to,” she manages to say, though she’s surprised she doesn’t choke over the words. “And you don’t have to call me ‘Lady Duv.’ Just Sylvanni is fine.”

He nods. “You did save my life. First name terms seem appropriate for me as well.”

The inquisitive bartender from before brings her forgotten drink over from the bar and sets it on the table. She’s grateful to have something to hide her reactions behind as she takes a sip. She feels like she’s waiting for something to go wrong at any moment, but it… doesn’t. It’s almost pleasant. Oddly so.

“You never even mentioned you met another Guardian on Mars,” Raven accuses.

“I felt it would be too difficult to untangle. I had business to attend to on Mars after I was rescued,” Uldren says, “for which I couldn’t have company. Another reason I never shared the story.”

“More Crow secrets?” Raven asks, apparently used to these sorts of blocks.

He nods. “Unfortunately so. There are secrets in the worlds right now too dangerous to get loose.”

“You sound like Ikora,” Sylvanni remarks off-handedly, and then hurries to amend when she sees his frown. “That was a compliment, by the way.”

Raven giggles. “Uldren in the Vanguard. That’d be a sight.” She reaches up to ruffle his hair. “Though I’ve always felt you’d be more of a Hunter if you ever became a Guardian.”

“If he wants to be Hunter Vanguard, he’d have beat out Cayde for it. Something tells me he wouldn’t give it up without a fight.”

Uldren frowns at the both of them. “I think I’d rather keep the life I have currently, if it’s all the same.”

“Suit yourself,” Sylvanni says, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “Though if you ever did wind up with a Ghost of your own, I’m sure Raven would enjoy Crimson Doubles with you.”

His eyes slide to Raven. “Crimson… Doubles?”

“It’s nothing, just a Guardian thing.” Raven blushes, and Sylvanni guesses it’s probably something she’s thought about before. “Shaxx organizes two-person teams for Crucible matches during Crimson Days is all.”

“You know,” Sylvanni continues for her, “as a romantic gesture sort of thing.”

Uldren rolls his eyes. “Only Guardians could see a fight to the death as an outing for a cute date.”

He shoots Sylvanni a questioning look and she can almost hear it in his voice from the expression alone. Why get mad at me for Mars when you Guardians kill each other all the time for fun?

She meets his eyes and takes a sip of her drink, deciding to respond to both his spoken and unspoken words. “Well there’s nothing quite like a fair fight in good faith. Going up against an opponent, your skill against theirs.” A sucker-stab in the back of an ally isn’t at all the same thing.

He tips his head, conceding the point. Raven seems to have missed the subtext of the conversation, which Sylvanni takes as for the better. She’d rather not have to get into all of that, when they were just starting to get along.

As Uldren and Sylvanni keep slipping hostile undertones and barbed hidden meanings to one another without ever actually breaking their makeshift truce, Raven starts to catch on. She can sense the rift between the other two, despite their attempts to conceal it, and she deftly steers the conversation toward safer topics, discussing the missions she and Sylvanni had run earlier or encouraging Uldren to tell interesting or funny stories about their history together. It’s so odd for Sylvanni to hear Uldren in such a lighthearted manner, reminiscing like this. It’s almost… refreshing.

He mentions something about their time together before Raven was a Guardian, and it reminds Sylvanni of that other curiosity that she wanted to indulge.

She takes another sip of her drink—only starting to realize how often the bartender’s replaced it with a new one while they’ve been chatting here—and looks toward Raven. “I apologize if this is intrusive, but I can’t quite contain my curiosity. Uldren mentioned it before, but you… remember your life before you became a Guardian?”

Raven nods, not seeming embarrassed or off-put by the question. “I do now, yes.”

“But you didn’t when you were first resurrected?” Sylvanni clarifies. “How does that work? I’ve been a Guardian for… well, a very long time. And I could probably count on both hands the number of Guardians I’ve met who know about their pasts.”

“You might be surprised, actually. You’ve probably met more. A lot of people don’t talk about it much though. You know, the Vanguard frowns on it. And for those who can’t remember, I know I wouldn’t want to seem like I was rubbing in the fact that I had memories and they didn’t.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” Sylvanni says, which is close enough to the truth, she supposes. “I’m just curious. How… did that happen?”

“Well,” Raven begins, leaning in as Uldren puts an arm around her, “it started with headaches. Mostly when I visited the Reef, it got worse. Every now and then, I’d get flashes, almost like a real memory, but gone in an instant. I realized that there were things that were familiar, things that I could feel.”

Sylvanni listens intently, nodding along. “And it… started to come back to you from that?”

Raven laughs. “If only it were that easy! No, no it all just hurt. The more I tried to think about it, figure it out on my own, the worse it felt. But I found someone who could help.” She pauses, taking a sip of her own drink as she decides how to phrase this next part. “Have you ever heard of the Lighthouse?”

Sylvanni stiffens, understanding immediately. Everyone’s heard of the Lighthouse, of course. Every amped-up Crucible junkie who made their way through the Trials well enough to earn an invitation hardly ever shut up about it. The secret base on Mercury where the Cult of Osiris made their home. Everyone knew of it, but only the privileged few were allowed to know where it actually was and how to get in.

Sylvanni tries to hide her reaction, but notices Uldren’s eyes are locked onto her. He knows. No doubt his training has made him very good at reading reactions, especially those people tried to hide. She attempts to play it off anyway.

“Are you saying… Osiris helped you find your memories?” Sylvanni’s rather proud of how casual it sounds, though she can’t quite keep the tinge of disapproval from leaking through.

“He did,” Raven says. She notes Sylvanni’s displeasure, but doesn’t understand the reason behind it. “Really, I don’t know where I’d be if he hadn’t helped me find myself. He’s not like all the wild rumors about him say. He guided me through it all and he was very kind.”

The charm is what makes him dangerous, Sylvanni thinks, but doesn’t say it. Raven obviously has a high opinion of him. “It’s just… he’s an exile. He was cast out from the Tower for a reason. You should be careful.”

Raven laughs, unconcerned. “Well I don’t think I’m planning on going back anytime soon, and it’s not like I’m bragging about it to the Vanguard. Besides, all that exile stuff happened hundreds of years ago.”

Hundreds of years. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. Sylvanni can still remember that last day, after the Consensus voted. The last time she saw Osiris in person. She’s never sure if she wishes she’d said something more to him in that moment, or if she wishes she’d been strong enough to say nothing at all.

“You don’t care for Osiris? Did you know him?” It’s the first time Uldren’s spoken in a while, and though he phrases it like a question, Sylvanni can see it’s more of a statement. He knows she doesn’t. He wants to know why.

“I’ve heard enough about him to know,” Sylvanni deflects, a statement that is not untrue. “Besides, I trust the will of the Consensus regarding him. One doesn’t exile a standing Vanguard Commander for nothing.”

Uldren meets her eyes, raising an eyebrow. He noticed how she didn’t actually answer his question. Her look back sharpens, a warning. She doesn’t want to be pressed on this, and a truce goes both ways. He gives a little nod, letting it drop.

“I’m sorry,” Sylvanni says quickly, not wanting to follow up on that line of conversation. “I fear I’ve sent us off-topic. You were telling me how you got your memories back. Was there some kind of meditation?”

Raven gets sheepish at that, a little embarrassed grin coming to her face. “Well, I guess you could call it meditation. Except I was dead for most of it.”

Sylvanni closes her eyes for a moment, holding back a sigh. Of course. “Thanatonautics. A… controversial choice. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Osiris and his followers are said to be anything other than conventional.”

“It doesn’t work for everyone,” Raven says. “But it worked for me. The more I delved, the more things started to open up. I caught glimpses, and then I started getting moments, and then full memories started to return to me. Everything came back. I remembered who I was.” She glances up at Uldren, expression growing fond. “It gave me my life back.”

Sylvanni tries to push down her conflicting feelings, not wanting to be rude, but it’s difficult. Raven’s history is so involved with so many things that she’s been uncomfortable with for years. Osiris and his questionable practices and beliefs, Uldren Sov, the Reef in general. She wants to be polite, but it’s almost too much, all in one night.

She hides behind another drink until she can think of a response. “I’m… glad it worked for you. I don’t think I could do it, myself.”

Raven cocks her head. “Really? You wouldn’t even try it, if you had the chance? Do you have any memory of your past life?”

“None at all,” she says simply. “And I don’t see that there’d be any benefit in it. You… still had things from your old life to return to. I don’t think that’d be the case for me. Why would I try to remember people and places that are surely long gone? That would only lead to heartbreak.

“Why would I try to remember who I once was? Either I find I’m the same as I was before death, in which case nothing changes, or I find a different person, and struggle with conflicting versions of myself. It’s either a null outcome or a bad one. It seems foolish to pursue.”

It’s easy to say all of it at least, to pretend that she’s perfectly content with herself. But she’s felt that curiosity, same as anyone. That little voice in the back of her head that tells her if she could just figure out who she was, she’d be able to understand who she is now.

The voice of duty always won out instead. She has more important things to focus on than herself, and that’s always been the case. And besides, what if she did learn her past, only to discover that knowing it didn’t help? What if she spent all that time pursuing it and came out the other side with more questions and more confusion than she’d started with?

“It’s just… easier to live without it,” Sylvanni finishes, the words falling somewhat flat at the end. That’s what she tells herself, at least, on those times when she feels her attentions wandering.

Raven’s expression falls into something sadder for just a moment. A brief flash of pity. She knows how important discovering her past was for her. She can’t imagine who she would be if she still had no memories, and it’s almost difficult to reconcile someone who doesn’t want to learn about their former self at all.

“Who knows,” Raven says, putting a smile back on, “maybe your past will find you someday. I know mine did.”

Sylvanni offers a polite smile back, but beneath it she feels something warmer starting to rise. “Who knows. Maybe it will.”

Perhaps her Ghost was right. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[foundcarcosa]

cxcix.

When was the last time you saw a doctor? >> I really don’t remember.

Which internet browser do you use? >> Chrome.

Have you ever lived on a university campus? >> No.

Do you know anyone who is a firefighter? >> I’m pretty sure I don’t.

What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage? >> Absinthe, Dark & Stormy, rum & Coke, sweet wines.

When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? >> Which one?

Do you have any piercings besides your earlobes? >> Septum.

How many push-ups can you do? >> I’m not sure. Probably 2.

What time is it right now? >> 11.31p EST.

What colour are your eyes? >> Dark brown.

Do you “binge-watch” tv shows? >> Sometimes. Usually comedies or animated shows, because they take less time and energy to process.

What is your opinion of clowns? >> I am completely disinterested in them.

Did you wear a necklace today? >> I’m always wearing at least one.

Have you ever received a compliment from a stranger? >> Well, sure.

Do you plan ahead when it comes to your outfits? >> Nah.

What colour is your front door? >> I’m not sure. It’s one of those out-of-sight, out-of-mind things.

Do you take the stairs or the elevator? >> That depends on how many stories, whether I’m going up or down, and how energetic I feel.

Do you know anyone who lives in Long Island, New York? >> I’m relatively sure I do.

When was the last time you wore a button up shirt? >> I haven’t worn one in long enough that I don’t remember. Probably on a holiday.

What’s your favourite song at the moment? >> Emperor’s New Clothes, maybe.

How many times have you consumed alcohol? >> There is no conceivable way for me to tally that.

Do you often forget what you were just about to say? >> Not often, no.

When was the last time you were at a party? >> About a week or two ago.

Do you own any striped sweaters? >> No.

Have there ever been any forest or grass fires in your area? >> I don’t know.

Do you ever get any important emails that need attention? >> I mean, sometimes, I’m sure. Not often.

Are you any good at packing a suitcase?: >> I’m quite adept at it. Experience, you know.

What are you hungry for right now, if anything?: >> Nothing.

Have you ever had a white hot chocolate? What did you think?: >> No, and I don’t ever want one.

What will you be doing in twenty minutes from now?: >> Something related to the internet, no doubt.

Is there anybody in your house’s bathroom right now?: >> No, because no one else is home.

Have you ever witnessed a serious physical fight?: >> Sure.

How much does gas cost in your area?: >> I don’t remember... $2-something, I’m sure.

Are you a fidgety sort of person?: >> Sometimes.

What was the last thing you ordered at a restaurant?: >> A veggie burger and sweet potato fries.

How do you like to spend your alone time?: >> Playing video games, watching something on a streaming service, browsing the internet, thinking up headcanons, reading...

Have you ever mowed a lawn?: >> I seem to remember doing so, when I was in North Carolina. It’d fit the profile, since I was often recruited to do menial tasks other people didn’t feel like doing.

On average, how many hours a day do you spend online?: >> I’d say about 15. The Internet of Things really contributes.

When was the last time you were yelled at? What had you done wrong?: >> I don’t remember. The older one gets, the less opportunity one has to be yelled at.

Do you enjoy corn on the cob?: >> Sure.

Is there anything good on television at this very moment?: >> I mean, no, the television is not on. I’m not even in the living room.

Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for someone underage? >> No.

Do you do your laundry regularly, or do you let it pile up?: >> Sparrow takes the laundry to her parents’ house once a week.

Did you ever play Habbo Hotel when you were younger?: >> No.

What about Neopets?: >> No.

Have you ever had to comfort a friend over the death of a loved one?: >> No. I’m generally not the person you call upon for that.

In your opinion, what’s the ideal age to start having children?: >> In my opinion, there exists no ideal age for anything.

Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back, intentionally or not?: >> Maybe. That particular terminology doesn’t mean anything to me, so I can’t say for sure.

What’s the longest you’ve ever slept in one go?: >> Probably around 10 or 12 hours.

Do you check the weather forecast everyday?: >> Almost every day.

Have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? >> Maybe minutely different, but not substantially.

What brand is your desktop or laptop?: >> Heimdall is an MSI and Normandy is a Lenovo.

Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon?: >> I do.

If you use Snapchat, have you ever had a screenshot taken of you?: >> I don’t use Snapchat, I just play with the filters sometimes.

Who were you last in a car with and where were you going?: >> Sparrow. To the Nature Center, then her parents’ house, then Meijer.

Does caffeine affect you, or not so much?: >> I have a high tolerance to it.

Do you make your bed everyday?: >> No.

Is your birthday before August? >> It is.

Are you an Aries? >> Nope. Jupiter is in Aries in my chart, though.

Would you consider yourself artistic? >> Yes.

Are you a brunette? >> Yes.

Where is your dad right now? >> I don’t know. From what I know of him, he is likely at home asleep.

Is it past 11am? >> In a sense. It is also before 11a, in a sense. It is also probably 11a somewhere.

Are you a Gemini? >> Yes, several times over.

What do you hear right now? >> The box fan and my typing.

Does your birthday fall in the months of January, June, or July? >> No.

Do you regret your last kiss? >> No.

Do you have any kids? >> No.

What is your favorite kind of music? >> I have no favourite kind. With 7k+ songs of wildly varying genres in my iTunes, how could I?

Do you have any nieces or nephews? >> Yes.

Do you live on your own? >> As in, not with my parents or a guardian, yes. I don’t live alone, though.

Are you the oldest child? >> I am the youngest of my father’s children.

Do you know anyone who lives in Oregon? >> Probably someone on the internet.

Do you have any pets? >> I don’t. My household does.

How many tattoos do you have? >> Three.

Are you a twin? >> I mean, I am a Gemini. But no.

Do you own an umbrella? >> We have about four umbrellas altogether, I think.

Are you under 21? >> No.

Have you ever been to Utah? >> No.

Have you ever been to Vatican City? >> No. Wouldn’t mind seeing it, though. I’ll try to keep my hands to myself. (...I did say try.)

Can you whistle? >> Nope.

How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? >> One, a dental x-ray.

Are you on good terms with your last ex? >> Sure.

Do you own an Xbox? >> There is one in the household.

Who is the youngest person living in the same household as you? >> Sparrow.

Are you wearing anything yellow? >> No.

How many zippers are on the clothing you’re wearing? >> None.

What time did you wake up this morning? >> Around 9.30, 10a EST, I think.

How nice of a person are you, honestly? >> I don’t know. I have little interest in being “nice” anyway. I prefer my adjectives more specific and descriptive.

Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey? >> Nope.

What color shirt are you wearing? >> I’m not wearing a shirt. Also, I’m not really sure what colour this shift is.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? >> No.

Are you planning on having sex tonight? >> No.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? >> No.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? >> No.

Does your bedroom door lock? >> It doesn’t.

Do you think the last person you texted is a virgin? (You don’t have to tell us who the person is, just say yes or no.) >> No, because she isn’t.

Has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t? >> No.

What is a word that starts with the second to last letter of your name? >> Application.

Do you generally look nice in photos? >> I like the way I look in some photos. I don’t like the way I look in others.

Do you ever wonder what the world will be like in the distant future, when you’re long gone? >> I wonder that constantly.

What color are your father’s eyes? >> Dark brown.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? >> I’m not too fussed. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a concert, I’d just like to go to one.

Do you like when it rains? >> Sure, as long as I’m not stuck in it.

What’s a movie you cried while watching? >> Gravity.

Do you think you’re important? >> I’m important to myself.

Have you ever sang at a karaoke bar? If so, what songs? >> Sure. I used to sing at the weekly live-band karaoke event at Arlene’s Grocery on the Lower East Side all the time. My standbys were Jeremy by Pearl Jam, The Trooper by Iron Maiden, Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, War Pigs by Black Sabbath, and the occasional Led Zeppelin when I was feeling ambitious. Towards the end of my attendance they’d added No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age and that had become my new standby.

Do you think you could lead a country? >> No, primarily because I have zero interest in doing so.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? >> I’ve been [mis]diagnosed with several over the years.

Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? >> No.

Do you normally finish one book before starting another? >> No, I usually have two or three going at once.

What is the last dream that you remember? >> Whatever it was, I don’t remember it now.

Is there anything you’d like to buy right now? >> Not at this moment, no.

Do you know how to play chess? >> No.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? >> I have one, so I did consider it.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? >> Sure. Just not under every condition.

Do you prefer road trips or traveling on an airplane? >> Both have their charms, but for travelling to and from places I’ve already been, I much prefer plane travel.

Do you cuss? >> Yes.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? >> No.

Are you a virgin? >> No.

Have you ever touched a dead body? >> Not a human one.

Did you have a Furby when you were younger? >> No.

Did or do you get good grades in English class? >> I did extremely poorly in high school English. As in, failing the midterm and the final by literally not being able to answer any of the questions poorly.

Would you shave your head for a million dollars? >> I mean, I shave my head like once a month...

X-files, Lost, or Twin Peaks? >> I am an X-Phile. I tried Twin Peaks recently but I haven’t gotten through the pilot yet. Lost I tried about a half-year ago and it was pretty all right but I just haven’t dedicated myself to watching the whole thing yet.

Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? >> I don’t. It’s in the five-year plan.

Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? >> Yes. That happens without fail within a couple of months of me getting a new machine.

What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on and where did you get it? >> I don’t remember. Groceries, probably.

What do you plan on having for dinner? >> I didn’t really have dinner, per se.

Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? >> Yes, several times.

Do you find it easy to fall asleep at night, or do you toss and turn for ages? >> I don’t bother trying to sleep until I’m sleepy enough that I can’t focus on something, which saves me from wasting time trying to sleep when I don’t feel like it.

When was the last time you were at the hospital, and why? >> I don’t remember.

[eldritchsurveys]

686.

Name 3 foods that you like that your mom doesn't. >> ---

What flavor was the last popsicle you ate? >> I can’t remember the last time I had a popsicle.

Do you like mango? >> I do. Dried mango is the only dried fruit I like, too.

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? >> It’s been a while since I’ve been in the position to be falsely accused of anything.

What was the last thing you ordered online? >> CBD capsules.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with? >> Sparrow.

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? >> Yeah, back when I was a shoplifter.

Which major holiday is your birthday closest to? >> Memorial Day. Some years it’s the same day.

Do you use a sunlamp? >> I don’t. Too concentrated for me.

When was the last time you cleaned your room? >> It’s been a while since I did more than just vacuum and tidy. I’ll probably do a more thorough cleanout as spring approaches.

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? >> I haven’t set out to accomplish anything, so no.

Do you drink tea every day? >> Not every day. I probably would if I could get myself to make it.

What does caffeine do to you? >> The amount of caffeine that is in a standard cup of coffee is liable to ruin my sleep that night (even if I drink it in the morning). I used to abuse the shit out of stimulants, which affected me normally at best back then, so at some point my tolerance kind of broke and now I’m pretty sensitive to any sort of stimulant. The level of caffeine that you’d find in, say, a cup of black tea is the best amount for me.

What's a drink you have been loving lately? >> Er... nothing in particular.

What was your favorite Starbucks drink last summer? >> I don’t drink Starbucks.

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? >> ---

What were you almost named? >> ---

What would your name be if you had been born the opposite gender? >> ---

Are you happy with your life right now? >> It’s fine.

Do you ever feel jealous of others? >> Sure.

When was the last time you had a fever? >> I don’t know. I doubt I’ve had a fever more than, like, once in my life.

Do you normally get fevers when you're sick? >> I don’t normally get sick, even.

Do you get the stomach flu every year? >> No. God, that’d be fucking awful.

Which symptom do you get more often when you're sick: fever or vomiting? >> ---

What color hair would you have if you were a cartoon character? >> White.

Use 5 words to describe your dream wedding. >> ---

Would other people describe you as creative? >> I’m sure someone might.

Do you trust all of your facebook friends? >> ---

Have you ever had a facebook friend betray you? a real-life friend betray you? >> I don’t really know what betrayal would look like for me.

What color are your slippers? >> Grey.

Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? >> I’d rather just leave a pumpkin alone.

What state do you want to visit next? >> ---

If you had to live in another country for a year, which country would it be? >> I don’t know enough about any country to know if I’d want to live there for a year.

Do you have moments you wish you could erase from your memory? >> Not really.

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you've said and done? >> No.

Did you like high school or college better? >> ---

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? >> Are they really all that different from each other, lol...

Are you part Irish? >> No.

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? >> Sure, I’ve listened to it.

Do you wear slippers? >> I have a pair, as suggested by my answer about ten questions ago, but I don’t wear them that often. I like being barefoot or wearing socks at home best.

Which accent do you like best? >> ---

Tea or coffee? >> Tea.

What show did you want to be on when you were younger? >> I wanted to be on MTV’s Made when I was in high school.

Have you ever won a spelling bee? >> Yes. I’m not telling that story again right now.

Were you one of the smartest in your class? >> When I was elementary school, yes. That evened out by middle school, and then I dropped sharply behind in several subjects by high school.

Do you think it's unfair that people less intelligent than you make more money than you? >> I... what?

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? >> No, I really don’t.

Are you still waiting for the guy/girl of your dreams? >> ---

Do you enjoy being single? >> I don’t know, I haven’t been single in a long time. I think the worst thing about being single for me wouldn’t be the lack of partner (I’m aromantic anyway) but the lack of a secondary income, because SSI is definitely not the kind of income one can live off of despite what the government insists.

Do you enjoy mornings? >> Sure.

Have you ever been to jail? >> No.

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? >> Certainly.

Is the criminal justice system fair where you live? >> I’m convinced the fairness of the American justice system is proportionate to the social status of the person facing its judgement.

Is your country's government corrupt? >> Sure, corruption is present. I find it hard to believe that any government can exist without at least a smidge of corruption somewhere in it.

Do you ever meditate on Scripture and pray to God? >> No.

Which do you like better: your Chinese zodiac sign or regular zodiac sign? >> Western astrology is more resonant with me than Chinese astrology. In fairness, I don’t know a whole lot about Chinese astrology, either.

What are your zodiac signs (Chinese and regular)? >> Rabbit (iirc) and Gemini Sun.

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? >> I didn’t think much about it, but yeah, considering the names of the signs, that makes sense.

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? >> Not in school. I learned about it independently because it interested me.

Did you enjoy literature? >> No.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? >> The only one I recall enjoying was Their Eyes Were Watching God. I read it again recently and I still enjoyed it.

Do you stay up late? >> Not purposefully. Sometimes I just have trouble winding down. Like last night.

Will you let your kids have a youtube channel, do you think? >> ---

Have you ever owned a designer purse? >> No.

Do you like the taste of Tums? >> Like, I wouldn’t eat them for fun, but they’re not repulsive or anything.